La Vergne del. M. V.ar Gucht sc.
THE WONDER: A Woman keeps a SECRET. A COMEDY. As it is Acted at the
Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane.
By Her MAJESTY's Servants.
Written by the AUTHOR of the GAMESTER.
LONDON:
Printed for E. CURLL, at the
Dial
and
Bible,
against St.
Dunstan
's Church in
Fleet-street,
and A. BETTESWORTH at the
Red Lyon,
on
London-Bridge.
1714.
TO His Serene HIGHNESS
George Augustus,
Electoral Prince of HANOVER, Duke and Marquess of
Cambridge,
Earl of
Milford-Haven,
Viscount
North-Allerton,
Baron of
Tewksbury,
and Knight of the most Noble Order of the Garter.
May it please your
Highness,
T HIS Dedication, which I always intended to Address to your
HIGHNESS,
and which I was in hopes might have Congratulated you upon your being in
England,
must now wait for your Arrival. I am sure I speak the Sense of every honest
Briton,
when I say that we expect it with the utmost Impatience.
Your Highness, who has been hitherto a Stranger among us, cannot easily conceive the Confidence we repose in you; and it will, perhaps, hardly be believ'd in future Ages, that the first Report of the Duke of
Cambridge
's Design to Visit us, should raise the
PUBLICK CREDIT
of the
British Nation.
We are fill'd with Pleasure, to think that the most accomplish'd of
Princes
will perfect himself in the Arts of Government under the Eye, and Direction of the Greatest of
Queens.
If it is possible there shou'd be a Sett of Men among us who can wish to see their Country become a Province of
France,
it is, I think, pretty evident that your Residence in
Great-Britain
will soon put an End to such Impious Expectations.
The Law of Nature makes it not improbable that you will one Day reign over us, and what may not our Posterity expect from a Prince who in his early Years distinguish'd himself in the Cause of Liberty, and led their Ancestors on to Victory? The Balance of
Europe
will doubtless be kept steady by that Hand which has already perform'd such Wonders in order to maintain it; our Religion, our Laws, and Civil Rites can be in no Danger under a Prince, who from his Conversation with our Nobility, and his Presence at their most important Debates, will have a perfect Insight into all the Parts of our Constitution.
Britain
shall from hence-forward claim your
HIGHNESS
intirely as her own, and endeavour by the most convincing Proofs of her Love and Respect, to make you forget the Court of your Illustrious Father.
The Pains you have already taken to acquire our Tongue, cannot fail to endear you to every
Englishman;
yet as the Idioms of a Language are the last Things we arrive at, I am in hopes an
English
Comedy will not be thought the most improper Present that could be offer'd to your
HIGHNESS.
There is no doubt but you will soon be made the Subject of more Correct Pens, and receive a just Tribute from the greatest Authors of our Nation: In the mean Time, tho' I am, perhaps, the most unworthy, I have at least one Advantage, that I am the first who have shewn my Respect in this Manner, and sued for your Protection.
I am your HIGHNESS's Most Obedient, Most Devoted, Most Humble Servant SUSANNA CENT LIVRE.
PREFACE.
I Don't pretend to write a Preface, either to point out the Beauties, or to excuse the Errors, a judicious Reader may possibly discover in the following Scenes, but to give those excellent Comedians their Due, to whom, in some Measure the best Dramatick Writers are oblig'd. The Poet and the Player are like Soul and Body, indispensibly necessary to one another; the correct Author makes the Player shine, whilst the judicious Player makes the Poet's Fame immortal. I freely acknowledge my self oblig'd to the Actors in general, and to Mr.
Wilks,
and Mrs.
Oldfield
in particular; and I owe them this Justice to say, That their inimitable Action cou'd only support a Play at such a Season, and among so many Benefits. Let this encourage our
English
Bards to Write, furnish but the artful Player with Materials, and his Skill will lay the Foundation for your Fame.
I must again repeat that which I meet with every where, I mean the just Admiration of the Performance of Mr.
Wilks,
and Mrs.
Oldfield,
and own that they much out-did in Action the strongest of my Conceptions; for tho' Nature was my Aim in the last Act of this Comedy, yet Nature herself were she to paint a Love Quarrel, wou'd only Copy them.
PROLOGUE.
Spoken by
Mr.
MILLS.
OUR
Author
fears the Criticks of the Stage,
Who like Barbarians, spare nor Sex, nor Age;
She trembles at those Censors in the Pit,
Who think good Nature shows a want of Wit:
Such Malice, Oh, what Muse can undergo it?
To save themselves, they always Damn the Poet.
Our Author flies from such a Partial Jury,
As wary Lovers from the Nymphs of
Drury:
To the few Candid Judges for a Smile,
She humbly sues to Recompence her Toil.
To the bright Circle of the Fair, she next,
Commits her Cause, with Anxious Doubts perplext.
Where can she with such hopes of Favour kneel,
As to those Judges, who her Frailties feel?
A few Mistakes, her Sex may well excuse,
And such a Plea, No
Woman
shou'd refuse:
If she succeeds, a
Woman
gains Applause,
What
Female
but must favour such a Cause.
Her Faults,—If such there be:—Then,—pass 'em by,
And only on her Beauties fix your Eye.
In Plays, like Vessels floating on the Sea,
There's none so Wise to know their Destiny.
In this, howe'er the Pilot's Skill appears,
While by the Stars his constant Course he steers;
In this our
Author
does her Judgment shew,
That for her Safety she relies on You.
Your Approbation Fair ones, can't but move,
Those stubborn Hearts, which first you taught to Love:
The Men must all Applaud this Play of ours,
For who dares See with other Eyes, than Yours?
Dramatis Personae.
Men.
Don Lopez,
a Grandee of
Portugal.
Mr.
Norris
Don Felix,
his Son, in Love with
Violante.
Mr.
Wilks.
Frederick,
A Merchant.
Mr.
Bickerstaff.
Don Pedro,
Father to
Violante.
Mr.
Bullock,
Jun.
Colonel
Britton,
A
Scotchman.
Mr.
Mills.
Gibby,
His Footman.
Mr.
Bullock,
Sen.
Lissardo,
Servant to
Felix.
Mr. Pack.
Women.
Donna Violante, designed for a Nunby her Father, in Love with Felix.
Mrs.
Oldfield.
Donna Isabella, Sister to
Felix.
Mrs.
Santlow.
Flora, Her Maid.
Mrs.
Cox.
Inis, Maid to
Violante.
Mrs.
Saunders.
Alguzil,
Attendants, Servants,
&c.
Scene
LISBON.
THE WONDER: A Woman keeps a SECRET.
ACT I.
SCENE I.
Enter
Don Lopez
meeting
Frederick.
M Y Lord
Don Lopez.
How do you
Frederick?
At your Lordship's Service, I am glad to see you look so well my Lord, I hope
Antonio
is out of danger.
Quite contrary, his Feaver increases they tell me, and the Surgeons are of Opinion his wound is mortal.
Your Son
Don Felix
is safe I hope.
I hope so too, but they offer large Rewards to apprehend him.
When heard your Lordship from him?
Not since he went, I forbad him writing till the publick News gave him an Account of
Antonio
's Health, Letters might be intercepted, and the place of his Abode discovered.
Your Caution was good my Lord; tho' I am impatient to hear from
Felix,
yet his Safety is my chief Concern. Fortune has maliciously struck a Bar between us in the Affairs of Life, but she has done me the Honour to unite our Souls.
I am not ignorant of the friendship between my Son and You, I have heard him commend your Morals and lament your want of noble Birth.
That's Nature's fault my Lord, 'tis some comfort not to owe ones Misfortunes to ones Self, yet 'tis impossible not to regret the want of noble Birth.
'Tis pity indeed such excellent Parts as you are Master of, should be eclipsed by mean Extraction.
Such Commendation wou'd make me vain my Lord, did you not cast in the allay of my Extraction.
There is no Condition of Life without its Cares, and it is the Perfection of a Man to wear 'em as easie as he can; this unfortunate Duel of my Son's does not pass without Impression. But since 'tis past Prevention, all my Concern is now, how he may escape the Punishment; if
Antonio
dies,
Felix
shall for
England.
You have been there, what sort of People are the
English?
My Lord, the
English
are by Nature, what the ancient
Romans
were by Discipline, couragious, bold, hardy, and in love with Liberty. Liberty is the Idol of the
English,
under whose Banner all the Nation Lists, give but the Word for Liberty, and straight more armed Legions wou'd appear, than
France,
and
Philip
keep in constant Pay.
I like their Principles; who does not wish for Freedom in all Degrees of Life? Tho' common Prudence sometimes makes us act against it, as I am now obliged to do, for I intend to marry my Daughter to
Don Guzman,
whom I expect from
Holland
every Day, whither he went to take Possession of a large Estate left him by his Uncle.
You will not sure Sacrifice the lovely
Isabella
to Age, Avarice, and a Fool, pardon the Expression my Lord, but my Concern for your beauteous Daughter transports me beyond that good Manners which I ought to pay your Lordship's presence.
I can't deny the justness of the Character
Frederick
; but you are not insensible what I have suffered by these Wars, and he has two things which render him very agreeable to me for a Son-in-Law, he is Rich and well Born; as for his being a Fool, I don't conceive how that can be any Blot in a Husband, who is already possess'd of a good Estate.—A Poor Fool indeed is a very Scandalous thing, and so are your Poor Wits, in my Opinion, who have nothing to be vain of, but the inside of their Sculls; now for
Don Guzman
I know I can rule him, as I think fit; this is acting the Politick part,
Frederick,
without which, it is impossible to keep up the Port of this Life.
But have you no Consideration for your Daughter's welfare my Lord?
Is a Husband of twenty thousand Crowns a Year, no Consideration? Now I think it a very good Consideration.
One way, my Lord. But what will the World say of such a Match?
Sir, I value not the World a Button.
I cannot think your Daughter can have any Inclination for such a Husband.
There I believe you are pretty much in the right, tho' it is a Secret, which I never had the Curiosity to enquire into, nor I believe ever shall—Inclination quotha! Parents would have a fine time on't, if they consulted their Childrens Inclinations! I'll venture you a Wager, that in all the Garrison Towns in
Spain
and
Portugal,
during the late War, there were not three Women, who have not had an Inclination to every Officer in the whole Army; does it therefore follow, that their Fathers ought to Pimp for them? No, no, Sir, it is not a Father's business to follow his Childrens Inclinations till he makes himself a Beggar.
But this is of another Nature my Lord.
Look ye Sir, I resolve she shall Marry
Don Guzman
the Moment he arrives; tho' I cou'd not govern my Son, I will my Daughter, I assure you.
This Match my Lord, is more preposterous than that which you proposed to your Son, from whence arose this fatal—Quarrel,
Don Antonio
's Sister
Elvira,
wanted Beauty only, but
Guzman
every thing, but—
Money—and that will purchase every thing, and so Adieu.
(
Exit.
Monstrous! These are the Resolutions which destroy the comforts of Matrimony—he is Rich, and well born, powerful Arguments indeed! Could I but add them to the Friendship of
Don Felix,
what might I not hope? But a Merchant and a Grandee of
Spain,
are inconsistent Names—
Lissardo!
From whence come you?
Enter
Lissardo
in a Riding Habit.
That Letter will inform you Sir.
I hope your Master's safe.
I left him so, I have another to deliver which requires—haste—Your most humble Servant Sir
(
bowing.
To
Violante,
I suppose.
The same.
(
Exit.
(
Reads
)
Dear
Frederick,
the two chief Blessings of this Life are a Friend, and a Mistress; to be debarred the sight of those is not to live. I hear nothing of
Antonio
's Death, therefore resolve to venture to thy House this Evening, impatient to see
Violante,
and embrace my Friend. Yours
Felix.
Pray Heaven he comes undiscover'd—ha! Colonel
Britton!
(
Enter Colonel
Britton
in a Riding Habit.
)
Frederick,
I rejoice to see thee.
What brought you to
Lisbon
Colonel?
La Fortune de la Guerre,
as the
French
say, I have commanded these Three last Years in
Spain,
but my Country has thought fit to strike up a Peace, and give us good
Protestants
leave to hope for Christian Burial, so I resolve to take
Lisbon
in my way home.
If you are not provided of a Lodging Colonel, pray command my House, while you stay.
If I were sure I should not be troublesome, I wou'd accept your offer,
Frederick.
So far from trouble Colonel, I shall take it as a particular Favour, what have we here?
My Footman, this is our Country Dress you must know, which for the Honour of
Scotland,
I make all my Servants wear.
(
Enter
Gibby
in a
High-land
Dress.
)
What mun I de with the Horses, an like yer Honour, they will tack cold gin, they stand in the Caussway.
Oh! I'll take Care of them, what hoa
Vasquez.
(
Enter
Vasquez,
put those Horses which that honest Fellow will show you into my Stable, do you hear? And feed them well.
Yes Sir.—Sir, by my Master's Order, I am Sir, your most obsequious humble Servant. Be pleas'd to lead the Way.
(
bowing.
S'bled gang yer gat Sir, and I fall follow yee: Ise tee hungry to feed on Compliments.
(
Exit.
Ha, ha, a comical Fellow.—Well, how do you like our Country, Colonel?
Why Faith
Frederick,
a Man might pass his Time agreeably enough with Inside of a Nunnery; but to behold such Troops of soft, plump, tender melting, wishing, nay willing Girls too, thro' a damn'd Grate, gives us
Brittons
strong Temptation to Plunder. Ah
Frederick,
your Priests are wicked Rogues. They immure Beauty for their own proper Use, and show it only to the Laity to create Desires, and inflame Accompts, that they may purchase Pardons at a dearer Rate.
I own Wenching is something more difficult here than in
England,
where Womens Liberties are subservient to their Inclinations, and Husbands seem of no Effect but to take Care of the Children which their Wives provide.
And does Restraint get the better of Inclination with your Women here? No, I'll be sworn not even in fourscore. Don't I know the Constitution of the
Spanish
Ladies?
And of all Ladies where you come, Colonel, you were ever a Man of Gallantry.
Ah
Frederick,
the
Kirk
half starves us
Scotchmen.
We are kept so sharp at home, that we feed like Cannibals abroad. Hark ye, hast thou never a pretty Acquaintance now, that thou wouldst consign over to a Friend for half an Hour, ha?
Faith Colonel, I am the worst Pimp in
Christendom,
you had better trust to your own Luck, the Women will soon find you out I warrant you.
Ay, but it is dangerous forraging in an Enemy's Country, and since I have some hopes of seeing my own again, I had rather purchase my Pleasure, than run the hazard of a
Stilletto
in my Guts. 'Egad, I think I must e'en Marry and Sacrifice my Body for the good of my Soul, wilt thou recommend me to a Wife then, one that is willing to exchange her
Moyders
for
English
Liberty; ha Friend,
She must be very handsome I suppose.
The handsomer the better—but be sure she has a Nose.
Ay, ay, and some Gold.
Oh, very much Gold, I shall never be able to swallow the Matrimonial Pill, if it be not well Gilded.
Puh, Beauty will make it slide down nimbly.
At first perhaps it may, but the Second or Third Dose will choak me—I confess
Frederick,
Women are the prettiest Play-things in Nature, but Gold, substantial Gold, gives 'em the Air, the Mien, the Shape, the Grace, and Beauty of a Goddess.
And has not Gold the same Divinity in their Eyes Colonel?
Too often.—Money is the very God of Marriage, the Poets dress him in a Saffron Robe, by which they Figure out the golden Deity, and his lighted Torch blazons those mighty Charms, which encourage us to List under his Banner.
None marry now for Love, no, that's a Jest,
The self same Bargain, serves for Wife, and Beast.
You are always gay Colonel, come shall we take a refreshing Glass at my House, and consider what has been said.
I have two or three Compliments to discharge for some Friends, and then I shall wait on you with Pleasure: Where do you live?
At yon Corner House with the green Rails.
In the close of the Evening I will endeavour to kiss your Hand. Adieu.
(
Exit.
I shall expect you with impatience.
(
Exit.
(
Enter
Isabella
and
Inis
her Maid.
)
For goodness sake, Madam, where are you going in this Pet?
Any where to avoid Matrimony; the thoughts of a Husband is as terrible to me as the sight of a Hobgoblin.
Ay, of an old Husband, but if you might chuse for your self, I fancy Matrimony wou'd be no such frightful Thing to you.
You are pretty much in the right,
Inis
; but to be forc'd into the Arms of an Ideot, a sneaking, snivling, drivling, avaricious Fool, who has neither Person to please the Eye, Sense to charm the Ear, nor generosity to supply those Defects, ah
Inis!
What pleasant Lives Women lead in
England,
where Duty wears no Fetter but Inclination: The Custom of our Country inslaves us from our very Cradles, first to our Parents, next to our Husbands; and when Heaven is so kind to rid us of both these, our Brothers still usurp Authority, and expect a blind Obedience from us, so that Maids, Wives, or Widows, we are little better than Slaves to the Tyrant Man, therefore to avoid their Power, I resolve to cast my self into a Monastery.
That is, you'll cut your own Throat to avoid another's doing it for you. Ah Madam, those Eyes tell me you have no Nuns flesh about you; a Monastery quotha! Where you'll wish your self in the Green-Sickness in a Month.
What care I, there will be no Man to plague me.
No, nor what's much worse, to please you neither—Ad'slife Madam, you are the First Woman that e'er dispair'd in a Christian Country—Were I in your Place—
Why what wou'd your Wisdom do if you were?
I'de imbark with the first fair Wind with all my Jewels, and seek my Fortune on t'other side the Water; no Shoar can treat you worse than your own; there's ne'er a Father in
Christendom
should make me marry any Man against my Will.
I am too great a Coward to follow your Advice. I must contrive some way to avoid
Don Guzman,
and yet stay in my own Country.
Enter
Don Lopez.
Must you so Mistress, but I shall take Care to prevent you.
(
Aside.
)
Isabella,
whether are you going my Child?
Ha! my Father! To Church, Sir.
The old Rogue has certainly over-heard her.
(
Aside.
Your Devotion must needs be very strong, or your Memory very weak; my Dear, why, Vespers are over for this Night; come, come, you shall have a better Errand to Church than to say your Prayers there.
Don Guzman
is arriv'd in the River, and I expect him ashore to Morrow.
Ha, to Morrow!
He writes me Word, That his Estate in
Holland
is worth 12000 Crowns a Year, which, together with what he had before, will make thee the happiest Wife in
Lisbon.
And the most unhappy Woman in the World. Oh Sir! If I have any Power in your Heart, if the tenderness of a Father be not quite extinct, hear me with Patience.
No Objections against the Marriage, and I will hear whatever thou hast to say.
That's torturing me on the Rack, and forbidding me to Groan; upon my Knees I claim the Priviledge of Flesh and Blood.
(
Kneels.
I grant it, thou shalt have an Arm full of Flesh and Blood to Morrow; Flesh and Blood quotha, Heaven forbid I should deny thee Flesh and Blood, my Girl.
Here's an old Dog for you.
Do not mistake, Sir, the fatal Stroak which separates Soul and Body, is not more terrible to the Thoughts of Sinners, than the Name of
Guzman
to my Ears.
Puh, puh; you Lye, you Lye.
My frighted Heart beats hard against my Breast, as if it sought a Passage to your Feet, to beg you'd change your Purpose.
A very pretty Speech this, if it were turn'd into blank Verse, it would serve for a
Tragedy
; why, thou hast more Wit than I thought thou hadst, Child.——I fancy this was all
extempore,
I don't believe thou did'st ever think of one Word on't before.
Yes, but she has, my Lord, for I have heard her say the same Things a thousand Times.
How, how, What do you top your second Hand Jests upon your Father, Hussy, who knows betther what's good for you than you do your self; remember 'tis your Duty to Obey.
(
Rising
)
I never disobey'd before, and wish I had not Reason now; but Nature has got the better of my Duty, and makes me loath the harsh Commands you lay.
Ha, ha, very fine! Ha, ha.
Death it self wou'd be more welcome.
Are you sure of that?
I am your Daughter, my Lord, and can boast as strong a Resolution as your self; I'll die before I'll marry
Guzman.
Say you so, I'll try that presently.
(
Draws.
)
Here let me see with what Dexterity you can breath a Vein now,
(
offers her his Sword.
)
The Point is pretty sharp, 'twill do your Business I warrant you.
Bless me, Sir, What do you mean to put a Sword into the Hands of a desperate Woman?
Desperate, ha, ha, ha, you see how desperate she is, what art thou frighted little
Bell.
ha!
I confess I am startled at your Morals, Sir.
Ay, ay, Child, thou hadst better take the Man, he'll hurt thee the least of the two.
I shall take neither, Sir, Death has many Doors, and when I can live no longer with Pleasure, I shall find one to let him in at without your aid.
Say'st thou so, my dear
Bell.
Ods, I'm afraid thou art a little Lunatick
Bell.
I must take Care of thee, Child,
(
takes hold of her, and pulls out of his Pocket a Key.
)
I shall make bold to secure thee, my Dear: I'll see if Locks and Bars can keep thee till
Guzman
comes; go, get you into your Chamber.
There I'll your boasted Resolution try,
And see who'll get the better, you or I.
(
pushes her in, and locks the Door.
ACT II.
SCENE,
a Room in
Don Pedro's
House.
Enter
Donna Violante
reading a Letter, and
Flora
following.
WHAT must that Letter be read again?
Yes, and again, and again, and again, a thousand Times again, a Letter from a faithful Lover can ne'er be read too often; it speaks such kind, such soft, such tender Things—
(
Kisses it.
But always the same Language.
It does not charm the less for that.
In my Opinion nothing charms that does not change; and any Composition of the four and Twenty Letters, after the first Essay, from the same Hand, must be dull, except a Bank Note, or a Bill of Exchange.
Thy Taste is my Aversion—
(
Reads.
)
My all that's charming, since Life's not Life exil'd from thee this Night shall bring me to thy Arms.
Frederick
and thee are all I trust: These six Weeks absence has been in Love's Accompt six Hundred Years; when it is Dark expect the wonted Signal at thy Window, till when adieu, thine more than his own.
Felix.
Who wou'd not have said as much to a Lady of her Beauty, and twenty Thousand Pounds.—Were I a Man, methinks I cou'd have said a Hundred finer Things, I wou'd have compar'd your Eyes to the Stars, your Teeth to Ivory, your Lips to Corral, your Neck to Allabaster, your Shape to—
No more of your Bombast, Truth is the best Eloquence in a Lover.—What Proof remains ungiven of his Love? When his Father threatned to disinherit him, for refusing
Don Antonio
's Sister, from whence sprung this unhappy Quarrel; did it shake his Love for me? And now, tho' strict Enquiry runs thro' every Place, with large Rewards to apprehend him, does he not venture all for me?
But you know, Madam, your Father
Don Pedro
designs you for a Nun, and says your Grand-Father left you your Fortune upon that Condition.
Not without my Approbation, Girl, when I come to one and Twenty, as I am inform'd. But however, I shall run the risk of that; go call in
Lissardo.
Yes, Madam, now for a thousand Verbal Questions.
(Exit.
and Enter with
Lissardo.
Well, and how do you do
Lissardo?
Ah, very weary, Madam—Faith thou look'st wondrous Pretty
Flora.
(
Aside to
Flora.
How came you?
En Cavalier,
Madam, upon a Hackney-Jade, which they told me formerly belong'd to an
English
Colonel. But I should rather have thought she had been bred a good
Roman Catholick
all her Life time; for she down of her Knees to every Stock, and Stone, we came along by. My Chaps Waters for a Kiss, they do,
Flora.
(
Aside to
Flora.
You'd make one believe you are wondrous fond now.
Where did you leave your Master?
Od, if I had you alone House-Wife, I'd show you how fond I cou'd be—
(
Aside to
Flora)
at a little Farm-House, Madam, about five Miles off; he'll be at
Don Frederick
's in the Evening—Od, I will so revenge my self of those Lips of thine.
(
to
Flora.
Is he in Health?
Oh, you counterfeit wondrous well.
(
to
Lissardo.
No, every Body knows I Counterfeit very ill.
(
to
Flora.
How say you! Is
Felix
ill, What's his Distemper? Ha!
A pies on't, I hate to be interrupted—Love, Madam, Love—In short, Madam, I believe he has thought of nothing but your Ladyship ever since he left
Lisbon.
I am sure he cou'd not, if I may Judge of his Heart by my own
(
Looking lovingly upon
Flora.
How came you so well acquainted with your Master's Thoughts,
Lissardo?
By an infallible Rule, Madam; Words are the Pictures of the Mind, you know; now to prove he thinks of nothing but you, he talks of nothing but you—for Example, Madam, coming from Shooting t'other Day, with a brace of Partridges,
Lissardo
said he, go bid the Cook roast me these
Violantes
—I flew into the Kitchin, full of Thoughts of thee, cry'd, here Cook, roast me these
Florellas.
(
to
Flora.
Ha, ha, excellent—You mimick your Master then it seems.
I can do every thing as well as my Master, you little—Rogue, another time: Madam, the Priest came to make him a Visit, he call'd out hastily,
Lissardo
said he, bring a
Violante
for my Father to sit down on;—then he often mistook my Name, Madam, and call'd me
Violante
; in short, I heard it so often, that it became as familiar to me as my Prayers.
You liv'd very Merrily then it seems.
Oh, exceeding Merry Madam.
(
Kisses
Flora
's Hand.
Ha! Exceeding Merry; had you Treats and Balls?
Oh! Yes, yes, Madam, several.
You are Mad,
Lissardo,
you don't mind what my Lady says to you.
(
Aside to
Lissardo.
Ha! Balls—Is he so Merry in my absence? And did your Master Dance,
Lissardo?
Dance Madam! Where Madam?
Why, at those Balls you speak of.
Balls! What Balls Madam?
Why, sure you are in Love,
Lissardo
; did not you say, but now, you had Balls where you have been?
Balls, Madam! Odslife, I ask your Pardon Madam! I, I, I, had mislaid some Wash-Balls of my Master's t'other Day; and because I cou'd not think where I had laid them, just when he ask'd for them, he very fairly broke my Head, Madam, and now it seems I can think of nothing else. Alas! He Dance Madam! No, no, poor Gentleman, he is as Melancholy as an unbrac'd Drum.
Poor
Felix
! There, wear that Ring for your Master's Sake, and let him know, I shall be ready to receive him,
(
Exit
Vio.
I shall Madam—
(
puts on the Ring
)
methinks a Diamond-Ring is a vast addition to the little Finger of a Gentleman.
(
admiring his Hand.
That Ring must be mine—Well
Lissardo
! What haste you make to pay off Arrears now? Look how the Fellow stands?
Egad, methinks I have a very pretty Hand—and very white—and the Shape!—Faith, I never minded it so much before!—In my Opinion it is a very fine shap'd Hand—and becomes a Diamond Ring, as well as the first Grandees in
Portugal.
The Man's transported! Is this your Love! This your Impatience!
(
Takes Snuff.
)
Now in my Mind—I take Snuff with a very
Fantee
Air—Well, I am persuaded I want nothing but a Coach, and a Title, to make me a very fine Gentleman.
(
Struts about.
Sweet Mr.
Lissardo,
(
Curtecying
)
if I may presume to speak to you, without affronting your little Finger.—
Odso Madam, I ask your Pardon—Is it to me, or to the Ring—you direct your Discourse, Madam.
Madam! Good lack! How much a Diamond Ring improves one.
Why, tho' I say it—I can carry my self as well as any Body—But what wer't thou going to say Child?
Why I was going to say, that I fancy you had best let me keep that Ring, it will be a very pretty Wedding Ring,
Lissardo,
would it not?
Humph! Ah! But—but—but—I believe I shan't marry yet a while.
You shan't, you say—Very well! I suppose you design that Ring for
Inis.
No, no, I never bribe an old Acquaintance—Perhaps I might let it sparkle in the Eyes of a Stranger a little, till we came to a right Understanding—But then like all other Mortal Things, it would return from whence it came.
Insolent—Is that your Manner of dealing.
With all but thee—Kiss me you little Rogue you.
(
hugging her.
Little Rogue! Prithy Fellow, don't be so familiar,
(
pushing him away,
)
if I mayn't keep your Ring, I can keep my Kisses,
You can, you say! Spoke with the Air of a Chambermaid.
Reply'd with the Spirit of a serving Man.
Prithy
Flora,
don't let you and I fall out, I am in a merry Humour, and shall certainly fall in somewhere.
What care I, where you fall in.
Enter
Violante.
Why do you keep
Lissardo
so long,
Flora?
When you don't know how soon my Father may awake, his Afternoon Naps are never long.
Had
Don Felix
been with her, she wou'd not have thought the Time long; these Ladies consider no body's Wants but there own.
(
Aside.
Go, go, let him out, and bring a Candle.
Yes Madam.
I fly, Madam.
(
Exit Liss. and Flor.
The Day draws in, and Night,——the Lover's Friend advances—Night more welcome than the Sun to me, because it brings my Love.
Shrieks within.
)
Ah! Thieves, Thieves! Murder, Murder!
Shrieks.
)
Ah! Defend me Heaven! What do I hear?
Felix
is certainly pursu'd, and will be taken.
Enter
Flora,
running.
How, now! Why dost stare so? Answer me quickly! What's the Matter?
Oh Madan! As I was letting out
Lissardo,
a Gentleman rushed between him and I, struck down my Candle, and is bringing a dead Person in his Arms into our House.
Ha! A dead Person! Heaven grant it do's not prove my
Felix.
Here they are Madam.
Enter
Colonel
with
Isabella
in his Arms.
I'll retire till you discover the Meaning of the Accident.
(
Exit.
(
Sets
Isabella
down in a Chair, and addresses himself to
Flora.)
The Necessity this Lady was under, of being convey'd into some House with Speed and Secrecy, will I hope excuse any Indecency I might be guilty of, in pressing so rudely into this—I am an entire Stranger to her Name and Circumstances; wou'd I were so to her Beauty too
(
Aside
)
I commit her Madam to your Care, and fly to make her Retreat secure; if the Street be clear, permit me to return and learn from her own Mouth. If I can be farther serviceable, pray Madam, how is the Lady of this House call'd?
Violante, Senior
—He is a handsome
Cavalier
and promises well.
(
Aside.
Are you she Madam?
Only her Woman,
Senior.
Your humble Servant. Mrs. Pray be careful of the Lady—
(
gives her two Moyders.
)
Exit Col.
Two Moyders! Well he is a generous Fellow this is the only Way to make one careful; I find all Countries understand the Constitution of a Chambermaid.
Enter
Violante.
Was you distracted
Flora?
To tell my Name to a Man you never saw! Unthinking Wench! Who knows what this may turn to—What is the Lady dead! Ah! Defend me Heaven, 'tis
Isabella,
Sister to my
Felix,
what has be
a
n her? Pray Heaven he's safe,—Run and fetch some cold Water,
(
Exit
Flora,
and enters with Water
)
Isabella,
Friend, speak to me, Oh! Speak to me, or I shall die with Apprehension.
See, she revives.
Oh! Hold my dearest Father, do not force me, indeed I cannot love him.
How wild she talks—
Ha! Where am I?
With one as sensible of thy Pain as thou thy self canst be.
Violante
! What kind Star preserv'd, and lodg'd me here?
It was a Terrestial Star, call'd a Man, Madam; pray
Jupiter
he proves a lucky one.
Oh! I remember now, forgive me dear
Violante,
my Thoughts ran so much upon the Danger I escap'd, I had forgot.
May I not know your Story?
Thou art no Stranger to one part of it; I have often told thee that my Father design'd to sacrifice me to the Arms of
Don Guzman,
who it seems is just return'd from
Holland,
and expected ashore to-morrow, the Day that he has set to celebrate our Nuptials, upon my refusing to obey him, he lock'd me into my Chamber, vowing to keep me there till he arriv'd, and force me to consent. I know my Father to be possitive, never to be won from his Design; and having no hope left me, to escape the Marriage, I leap'd from the Window, into the Street.
You have not hurt your self I hope.
No, a Gentleman passing by, by Accident caught me in his Arms; at first my Fright made me apprehend it was my Father, till he assur'd me to the contrary.
He is a very fine Gentleman I promise you, Madam, and a well bred Man I warrant him. I think I never saw a Grandee put his Hand into his Pocket with a better Air in my whole Life Time; then he open'd his Purse with such a Grace, that nothing but his Manner of presenting me the Gold cou'd equal.
There is but one common Road to the Heart of a Servant, and 'tis impossible for a generous Person to mistake it.—But how came you hither
Isabella?
I know not, I desir'd the Stranger to convey me to the next
Monastery,
but e'er I reach'd thy Door, I saw, or fancy'd that I saw,
Lissardo,
my Brother's Man, and the Thought that his Master might not be far off, flung me into a Swoon, which is all that I remember: Ha! What's here
(
takes up a Letter
)
For
Collonel
Britton, to be left at the Post-House in
Lisbon; this must be drop'd by the Stranger which brought me hither.
Thou art fal'n into the Hands of a Soldier, take care he does not lay thee under Contribution, Girl.
I find he is a Gentleman; and if he be but unmarried I cou'd be content to follow him all the World over.—But I shall never see him more I fear.
(
Sighs, and Pauses.
)
What makes you sigh
Isabella?
The fear of falling into my Father's Clutches again.
Can I be serviceable to you?
Yes if you'l conceal me two or three Days.
You command my House and Secrecy.
I thank you
Violante,
—I wish you wou'd oblige me with Mrs.
Flora
a while.
I'll send for her to you—I must watch if Dad be still asleep, or here will be no room for
Felix.
(
Exit.
Well I don't know what ails me, but methinks I wish I cou'd find this Stranger out.
Enter
Flora.
Does your Ladyship want me Madam?
Ay, Mrs.
Flora,
I resolve to make you my Confident.
I shall endeavour to discharge my Duty, Madam.
I doubt it not, and desire you to accept this as a Token of my Gratitude.
Oh dear
Senjora,
I shou'd have been your humble Servant, without a Fee.
I believe it—But to the Purpose—Do you think if you saw the Gentleman which brought me hither you shou'd know him again?
From a Thousand Madam, I have an excellent Memory where a handsome Man's concern'd; when he went away he said he would return again immediately, I admire he comes not.
Here, did you say? You rejoyce me—Tho' I'll not see him, if he comes, cou'd not you contrive to give him a Letter?
With the Air of a Duanna.—
Not in this House—You must veil and follow him—He must not know it comes from me.
What do you take me for a Novice in Love Affairs? 'Tho I have not practic'd the Art since I have been in
Donna Violantes
Service, yet I have not lost the Theory of a Chamber-Maid—Do you write the Letter, and leave the rest to me—Here, here, here's Pen Ink and Paper.
I'll do't in a Minute.
(
Sits down to write.
So! This is Business after my own Heart; Love always takes care to reward his Labourers, and
Great Britain
seems to be his Favourite Country.—Oh, I long to see the t'other two Moyders with a British Air—Methinks there's a Grace peculiar to that Nation in making a Present.
So I have done, now if he does but find this House again!
If he shou'd not—I warrant I'll find him if he's in
Lisbon.
(
Puts the Letter into her Bosom.
Enter
Violante.
Flora,
watch my Papa; he's fast asleep in his Study—If you find him stir, give me Notice.—Hark, I hear
Felix
at the Window, admit him instantly, and then to your Post.
(
Exit Flora.
What say you
Violante?
Is my Brother come?
It is his Signal at the Window.
(
Kneels.
)
Oh!
Violante,
I conjure thee by all the love thou bear'st to
Felix
—By thy own generous Nature—Nay more, by that unspotted Vertue thou art Mistress of, do not discover to my Brother I am here.
Contrary to your Desire, be assur'd I never shall, but where's the Danger?
Art thou born in
Lisbon,
and ask that Question? He'll think his Honour blemish'd by my Disobedience, and wou'd restore me to my Father, or kill me, therefore dear, dear, Girl.
Depend upon my Friendship, nothing shall draw thy Secret from these Lips, not even
Felix,
tho' at the Hazard of his love; I hear him coming, retire into that Closet.
Remember
Violante,
upon thy Promise my very Life depends.
(
Exit.
When I betray thee, may I share thy Fate.
Enter
Flora
with
Felix.
My
Felix,
My everlasting Love.
(
runs into his Arms.
My Life, my Soul! My
Violante!
What Hazards dost thou run for me; Oh, how shall I requite thee?
If during this tedious painful Exile, thy Thoughts have never wander'd from thy
Felix,
thou hast made me more than Satisfaction.
Can there be room within this Heart for any but thy self. No, if the God of Love were lost to all the rest of Human Kind, thy Image wou'd secure him in my Breast, I am all Truth, all Love, all Faith, and know no jealous Fears.
My Heart's the proper Sphere where Love resides; cou'd he quit that he wou'd be no where found: And yet
Violante
I'm in doubt.
Did I ever give thee Cause to doubt my
Felix.
True love has many Fears, and Fear as many Eyes as Fame; yet sure I think they see no Fault in thee—What's that?
(
the Colonel pats at the Window. without.
)
What? I heard nothing.
(
He pats again.
Ha! What means this Signal at your Window?
Some Body perhaps, in passing by; might accidentally hit it, it can be nothing else.
(
Within
)
Hist, hist,
Donna Violante, Donna Violante.
They use your Name by Accident too, do they Madam?
(
Enter
Flora.
There is a Gentleman at the Window, Madam, which I fancy to be him who brought
Isabella
hither; shall I admit him!
(
Aside to
Violante.
Admit Distraction rather, thou art the Cause of this, unthinking Wretch!
(
Aside to
Flora.
What has Mistress
Scout
brought you fresh Intelligence? Death, I'll know the Bottom of this immediately!
(
offers to go.
Scout,
I scorn your Words,
Senior.
Nay, nay, nay, nay, you must not leave me.
(
runs and catches hold of him.
Oh! 'Tis not fair, not to Answer the Gentleman, Madam, It is none of his Fault, that his Visit proves unseasonable; pray let me go, my Presence is but a restraint upon you.
(
struggles to get from her
)
(
The Colonel pats agen.
Was ever Accident so Mischievous?
(
Aside.
It must be the Colonel, now to deliver my Letter to him.
(
Exit.
Hark, he grows impatient at your delay—Why do you hold the Man, whose Absence wou'd oblige you, pray let me go, Madam; consider, the Gentleman wants you at the Window. Confusion!
(
struggles still.
)
It is not me he wants.
Death, not you? Is there another of your Name in the House? But, come on, convince me of the Truth of what you say: Open the Window, if his Business does not lye with you, your Conversation may be heard—This, and only this, can take of my Suspicion—What do you pause! Oh Guilt! Guilt! Have I caught you, Nay then I'll leap the Balcony, If I remember, this Way leads to it.
(
breaks from her and goes to the Door where
Isabella
is.
)
Oh Heavens! What shall I do now, hold, hold, hold, hold, not for the World—You enter there—Which way shall I preserve his Sister from his Knowledge?
(
Aside.
What have I touch'd you; do you fear your Lover's Life?
I fear for none but you—For goodness Sake, do not speak so loud my
Felix.
If my Father hear you I am lost for ever, that Door opens into his Apartment, What shall I do if he enters? There he finds his Sister—If he goes out he'll quarrel with the Stranger—Nay do not struggle to be gone my
Felix
—If I open the Window he may discover the whole Intrigue, and yet of all Evils we ought to chuse the least. Your Curiosity shall be satisfied. Whoe'er you are that with such Insolence dare use my Name, and give the Neighbourhood Pretence to reflect upon my Conduct. I charge you instantly be gone, or expect the Treatment you deserve.
(
goes to the Window and throws up the Sash.
I ask your Pardon Madam, and will obey; but when I left this House to Night.
Good!
It is most certainly the Stranger, what will be the Event of this Heaven knows.
(
Aside
)
you are mistaken in the House I suppose, Sir.
No, no, he is not mistaken—Pray Madam let the Gentleman go on.
Wretched Misfortune, pray be gone Sir, I know of no Business you have here.
I wish I did not know it neither—But this House contains my Soul, then can you blame my Body for hovering about it!
Excellent!
Distraction! He will infallibly discover
Isabella.
I tell you again you are mistaken; however for your own Satisfaction call To-Morrow.
Matchless Impudence! An Assignation before my Face—No he shall not live to meet your wishes.
(
Takes out a Pistol and goes towards the Window; she catches hold of him.
)
Ah!
(
Shrieks
)
hold I conjure you.
To-morrow's an Age Madam! May I not be admitted to Night?
If you be a Gentleman I command your Absence. Unfortunate! What will my Stars do with me?
(
Aside.
I have done—Only this—Be careful of my Life, for it is in your keeping.
(
Exit from the Window.
Pray observe the Gentleman's Request Madam.
(
Walking off from her.
I am all Confusion.
(
Aside.
You are all Truth, all Love, all Faith; Oh thou all Woman!—How have I been deceiv'd? S'Death, cou'd not you have impos'd upon me for this one Night? Cou'd neither my faithful Love, nor the Hazard I have run to see you, make me worthy to be cheated on?
Can I bear this from you?
(
Weeps.
(
Repeats
)
When I left this House to Night—to Night the Devil! Return so soon!
Oh
Isabella
! What hast thou involv'd me in?
(
Aside.
(
Repeats
)
This House contains my Soul.
Yet I resolve to keep the Secret.
(
Aside.
(
Repeats
)
Be careful of my Life, for 'tis in your keeping.—Damnation!—How ugly she appears?
(
Looking at her.
Do not look so sternly on me, but believe me
Felix,
I have not injur'd you, nor am I false.
Not false, not injur'd me! Oh
Violante,
lost and abandon'd to thy Vice! Not false, Oh monstrous!
Indeed I am not—There is a Cause which I must not reveal—Oh think how far Honour can oblige your Sex—Then allow a Woman may be bound by the same Rule to keep a Secret.
Honour, what hast thou to do with Honour, thou that canst admit plurality of Lovers, a Secret? Ha, ha, ha, his Affairs are wondrous safe, who trusts his Secret to a Womans keeping, but you need give your self no Trouble about clearing this Point Madam, for you are become so indifferent to me, that your Truth, and Falshood are the same!
My Love!
(
Offers to take his Hand.
My Torment!
(
Turns from her.
Enter
Flora.
So I have deliver'd my Letter to the Colonel, and receiv'd my Fee.
(
Aside
)
Madam, your Father bad me see what Noise that was—For Goodness sake Sir, why do you speak so loud!
I understand my cue Mistress, my Absence is Necessary, I'll oblige you.
(
going
)
(
takes hold of him.
Oh let me undeceive you first!
Impossible!
'Tis very possible if I durst.
Durst! Ha, ha, ha, durst quotha.
But another time I'll tell thee all.
Nay, now or never.—
Now it cannot be.
Then it shall never be—Thou most ungrateful of thy Sex, farewel.
(
Breaks from her and Exit.
Oh exquisite Tryal of my Friendship! Yet not even this, shall draw the
Secret
from me,
That I'll preserve, let Fortune frown, or smile,
And trust to Love, my Love to reconcile.
(
Exit.
ACT III.
Enter
Don Lopez.
WAS ever Man thus plagu'd! Odsheart, I cou'd swallow my Dagger for Madness; I know not what to think, sure
Frederick
had no Hand in her Escape—She must get out of the Window; and she could not do that without a Ladder; and who cou'd bring it her, but him? Ay, it must be so. The dislike he shew'd to
Don Guzman
in our Discourse to Day, confirms my Suspicion, and I will charge him home with it; sure Children were given me for a Curse! Why, what innumerable Misfortunes attend us Parents, when we have employ'd our whole Care to educate, and bring our Children up to Years of Maturity? Just when we expect to reap the Fruits of our Labour; a Man shall in the tinkling of a Bell, see one hang'd, and t'other whor'd—This Graceless Baggage—But I'll to
Frederick
immediately, I'll take the Alguzil with me, and search his House; and if I find her, I'll use her—by St.
Anthony,
I don't know how I'll use her.
(
Exit.
The Scene changes to the Street.
Enter
Colonel
with
Isabella
's Letter in his Hand, and
Gibby
following.
Well, tho' I cou'd not see my fair
Incognita,
Fortune, to make me amends, has flung another Intrigue in my way. Oh! How I love these pretty, kind, coming Females, that won't give a Man the trouble of wracking his Invention to deceive them.—Oh,
Portugal
! Thou dear Garden of Pleasure—Where Love drops down his Mellow Fruit, and every Bough bends to our Hands, and seems to cry come, Pull and Eat, how deliciously a Man lives here without sear of the Stool of Repentance?—This Letter I receiv'd from a Lady in a Vail—Some
Duanna
! Some necessary Implement of
Cupid
; I suppose the Stile is frank and easie, I hope like her that writ it.
(
Reads
)
"Sir, I have seen your Person, and like it—
Very Concise.
—And if you'll meet at five a Clock in the Morning upon the
Terriero de passa,
half an Hours Conversation will let me into your Mind.—"
Ha, ha, ha, a Philosophical Wench: This is the first time I ever knew a Woman had any Business with the Mind of a Man.
—
"If your Intellects answer your outward Appearance, the Adventure may not displease you. I expect you'll not attempt to see my Face, nor offer any thing unbecoming the Gentleman I take you for:—"
Humph, the Gentleman she takes me for, I hope she takes me to be Flesh and Blood, and then I am sure I shall do nothing unbecoming a Gentleman. Well, if I must not see her Face, it shall go hard if I don't know where she lives.—
Gibby,
Here, an like yer Honour.
Follow me at a good Distance, do you hear
Gibby?
In troth dee I, weel eneugh, Sir.
I am to meet a Lady upon the
Terriero de passa.
The Deel an min Eyn gin I keen her, Sir.
But you will when we come there, Sirrah
Like eneugh, Sir, I have as sharp an Eyn tul a Bony Lass, as ere a Lad in aw
Scotland,
an what mun I dee wi her, Sir?
Why, if she and I part, you must watch her Home, and bring me Word where she lives.
In troth sal I Sir, gin the Deel tak her not.
Come along then, 'tis pretty near the time.—I like a Woman that rises early to persue her Inclination.
Thus we improve the Pleasures of the Day,
Whilst tasteless Mortals sleep their Time away.
(Exit.
Scene changes to
Frederick
's House.
Enter
Inis
and
Lissardo.
Your Lady run away, and you not know whether! Say you?
She never greatly car'd for me after finding you and I together; but you are very Grave, methinks,
Lissardo.
(
Looking upon the Ring
)
Not at all—I have some Thoughts indeed of altering my Course of living; there is a critical Minute in every Man's Life, which if he can but lay hold of, he may make his Fortune.
Ha! What, do I see a Diamond-Ring! Where the duce had he that Ring? You have got a very pretty Ring there,
Lissardo.
Ay, the Trifle is pretty enough.—But the Lady which gave it me is a
Bona Roba
in Beauty, I assure you.
(
Cocks his Hat and Struts.
I can't bear this—The Lady! What Lady pray?
Oh fy! There's a Question to ask a Gentleman.
A Gentleman! Why, the Fellow's spoil'd; is this your Love for me? Ungrateful Man, you'll break my Heart, so you will.
(
Bursts into Tears.
Poor tender hearted Fool.—
If I knew who gave you that Ring, I'd tear her Eyes out, so I wou'd.
(
Sobs.
So, now the Jade wants a little Coaxing; why, what dost thou weep for now, my Dear? Ha!
I suppose
Flora
gave you that Ring; but I'll—
No, the Devil take me if she did, you make me Swear now—So, they are All for the Ring, but I shall bob 'em: I did but Joke, the Ring is none of mine, it is my Masters; I am to give it to be new Set, that's all, therefore prithy dry thy Eyes, and kiss me come.
(
Enter
Flora.
And do you really speak Truth now?
Why, Do you doubt it?
So, so, very well! I thought, there was an Intrigue between him and
Inis,
for all he has forsworn it so often.
(
Aside.
Nor han't you seen
Flora
since you came to Town.
Ha! How dares she Name my Name?
(
Aside.
No, by this Kiss I han't.
(
Kisses her.
Here's a dissembling Varlet.
(
Aside.
Nor don't you love her at all?
Love the Devil, why did not I always tell thee she was my Aversion.
Did you so, Villain!
(
Strikes him a box on the Ear.
)
Zounds she here! I have made a fine spot of Work on't.
(
Aside.
What's that for? Ha.
(
Brushes up to her.
I shall tell you by and by, Mrs
Frippery,
if you don't get about your Business.
Who do you call
Frippery,
Mrs.
Trolup?
Pray get about your Business: if you go to that, I hope you pretend to no Right and Title here.
What the Devil do they take me for, an Acre of Land, that they quarrel about Right and Title to me?
(
Aside.
Pray, what right have you, Mistress, to ask that Question?
No matter for that, I can show a better Title to him than you, I believe.
What, has he given thee Nine Months earnest for a living Title? Ha, ha.
Don't fling your flearing Jests at me, Mrs.
Boldface,
for I won't take 'em, I assure you.
So! Now am I as great as the fam'd
Alexander.
But my dear
Statira
and
Roxana,
don't exert your selves so much about me: Now, I fancy, if you wou'd agree lovingly together, I might in a modest way satisfie both your Demands upon me.
You satisfie! No, Sirrah, I am not to be satisfy'd so soon as you think, perhaps.
No, nor I neither.—What do you make no difference between us?
You pitiful Fellow you; what you fancy, I warrant, that I gave my self the trouble of dogging you, out of love to your filthy Person, but you are mistaken, Sirrah—It was to detect your Treachery.—How often have you Sworn to me that you hated
Inis,
and only carried fair for the good Chear she gave you; but that you could never like a Woman with crooked Legs, you said.
How, how, Sirrah, crooked Legs! Ods, I cou'd find in my Heart.
(
Snatches up her Pettycoat a little
)
Here's a Lying young Jade now! Prithy, my Dear, moderate thy Passion.
(
Coaxingly.
I'd have you to know, Sirrah, my Legs was never—your Master, I hope, understands Legs better than you do, Sirrah.
(
passionately.
My Master, so so.
(
Shaking his Head and winking.
I am glad I have done some Mischief, however.
(
Aside.
(
To Inis.
)
Art thou really so foolish to mind what an enrag'd Woman says! Do'nt you see she does it on Purpose to part you and I,
(
runs to
Flora)
cou'd not you find the Joke without putting your Self in a Passion! You silly Girl you; why, I saw you follow us plain enough, Mun, and said all this, that you might not go back with only your Labour for your Pains—But you are a revengeful young Slut tho'. I tell you that, but come Kiss, and Friends.
Don't thing to Coax me, hang your Kisses.
(
Within.
)
Lissardo.
Odsheart, here's my Master, the Devil take both these Jades, for me, what shall I do with them?
Ha! 'Tis
Don Felix
's Voice; I wou'd not have him find me here, with his Foot-Man, for the World.
(
Aside.
(
Within
)
Why,
Lissardo, Lissardo
!
Coming Sir, What a Pox will you do?
Bless me, which way shall I get out!
Nay, nay, you must e'en set your Quarrel aside, and be content to be mew'd up in this Cloaths Press together, or stay where you are, and Face it out—There is no help for it!
Put me any where, rather than that; come, come, let me in.
(
He opens the Press, and she goes in.
I'll see her hang'd, before I'll go into the Place where she is.—I'll trust Fortune with my deliverance: Here us'd to be a pair of back Stairs, I'll try to find them out.
(
Exit.
Enter
Felix
and
Frederick.
Was you asleep, Sirrah, that you did not hear me call?
I did hear you, and answer'd you, I was coming, Sir.
Go get the Horses ready, I'll leave
Lisbon
to Night, never to see it more.
Hey day! What's the Matter now?
(
Exit.
Pray tell me,
Don Felix
! What has ruffled your Temper thus?
A Woman—Oh Friend, who can name Woman, and forget Inconstancy!
This from a Person of mean Education were excusable, such low Suspicions have their source from vulgar Conversation; Men of your politer Taste never rashly Censure.—Come, this is some groundless Jealousie.—Love raises many Fears.
No, My Ears convey'd the Truth into my Heart, and Reason justifies my Anger:
Violante
's false and I have nothing left, but thee, in
Lisbon,
which can make me wish ever to see it more, except Revenge upon my Rival, of whom I am ignorant. Oh, That some Miracle wou'd reveal him to me, that I might thro' his Heart punish my Infidelity.
Enter
Lissardo.
Oh! Sir, here's your Father
Don Lopez
coming up.
Do's he know that I am here?
I can't tell, Sir, he ask'd for
Don Frederick.
Did he see you?
I believe not, Sir; for as soon as I saw him, I ran back to give my Master Notice.
Keep out of his Sight then.—And dear
Frederick,
permit me to retire into the next Room, for I know the Old Gentleman will be very much displeased at my return without his leave.
(
Exit.
Quick, quick, begon, he is here.
Enter
Don Lopez,
speaking as he Enters.
Mr.
Alguzil,
wait you without till I call for you.
Frederick,
an Affair brings me here—which—requires Privacy.—So that if you have any Body within Ear shot, pray order them to retire.
We are private, my Lord, speak freely.
Why then, Sir, I must tell you, that you had better have pitch'd upon any Man in
Portugal
to have injur'd, than my self.
(
Peeping.
)
What means my Father?
I understand you not, my Lord!
Tho', I am Old, I have a Son.—Alass! Why Name I him? He knows not the Dishonour of my House.
I am confounded! The dishonour of his House▪
Explain your self my Lord! I am not conscious of any dishonourable Action, to any Man much less to your Lordship.
'Tis false! you have debauch'd my Daughter.
Debauch'd my Sister! Impossible! He cou'd not, durst not be that Villain.
My Lord, I scorn so foul a Charge.
You have debauch'd her Duty at least, therefore instantly restore her to me, or by St.
Anthony
I'll make you.
Restore her my Lord! Where shall I find her?
I have those that will swear she is here in your House.
Ha! In this House?
You are misinform'd my Lord, upon my Reputation I have not seen
Donna Isabella,
since the Absence of
Don Felix.
Then pray Sir—If I am not too inquisitive, What Motive had you for those Objections you made against her Marriage with
Don Guzman
Yesterday?
The Disagreeableness of such a Match, I fear'd, wou'd give your Daughter cause to curse her Duty, if she comply'd with your Demands, that was all my Lord!
And so you help'd her thro' the Window to make her disobey.
Ha, my Sister gone! Oh Scandal to our Blood!
This is insulting me my Lord, when I assure you I have neither seen, nor know any thing of your Daughter—If she is gone, the Contrivance was her own, and you may thank your Rigour for it.
Very well, Sir, however my Rigour shall make bold to search your House, here call in the Alguzile—
(
Peeping
)
The Alguzile! What in the Name of Wonder will become of me!
The Alguzile! My Lord you'l repent this.
Enter
Alguzile
and Attendants.
No Sir, 'tis you that will repent it, I charge you in the King's Name to assist me in finding of my Daughter—Besure you leave no Part of the House unsearch'd; come, follow me.
(
Goes towards the Door where
Felix
is
; Frederick
draws, and plants himself before the Door.
)
Sir, I must first know by what Authority you pretend to Search my House, before you enter here.
How! Sir, dare you presume to draw your Sword, upon the Representative of Majesty! I am Sir, I am his Majesty's
Alguzile,
and the very Quintessence of Authority—therefore put up your Sword, or I shall order you to be knock'd down—for know Sir, the Breath of an
Alguzile,
is as dangerous, as the Breath of a
Demy-Culverin.
She is certainly in that Room, by his Guarding the Door—if he Disputes your Authority, knock him down I say.
I shall show you some Sport first; the Woman you look for is not here, but there is something in this Room, which I'll preserve from your sight at the Hazard of my Life.
Enter I say, nothing but my Daughter can be there—force his Sword from him.
(Felix
comes out and joyns
Frederick.)
Villains stand off! Assassinate a Man in his own House.
Oh, oh, oh,
Misericordia,
what do I see my Son!
Ha, his Son! Here's five hundred Pounds good, my Brethren, if
Antonio
dies, and that's in the Surgeons Power, and he's in love with my Daughter you know—
Don Felix
! I command you to surrender your self into the Hands of Justice, in order, to raise me and my Posterity, and in Consideration you lose your Head to gain me five hundred Pounds, I'll have your Generosity recorded on your Tomb-Stone—at my own proper Cost, and Charge—I hate to be ungrate-ful.
Here's a generous Dog now—
Oh that ever I was born—Hold, hold, hold.
Did I not tell you, you wou'd repent my Lord, What ho! Within there
(
Enter Servants
)
arm your selves, and let not a Man in, or out, but
Felix
—Look ye
Alguzile
when you wou'd betray my Friend for filthy Lucre, I shall no more regard you as an Officer of Justice, but as a Thief and Robber thus resist you.
Gen'rous
Frederick
! Come on Sir, we'll show you Play for the five hundred Pounds.
Fall on, seize the Money right or wrong ye Rogues.
(
They fight.
Hold, hold,
Alguzile
! I'll give you the five hundred Pound, that is, my Bond to pay it upon
Antonio's
Death, and twenty Pistoles however things go, for you and these honest Fellows to drink my Health.
Say you so my Lord! Why look ye my Lord, I bear the young Gentleman no ill Will my Lord If I get but the five hundred Pounds, my Lord—why look ye my Lord—'Tis the same thing to me whether your Son be hanged or not my Lord,
Scoundrels.—
Ay, well, thou art a good natur'd Fellow that is the Truth on't—Come then we'll to the Tavern, and sign and seal this Minute, Oh
Felix
be careful of thy self, or thou wilt break my Heart;
(
Exit
Lopez, Alguzile
and Attendants.
)
Now
Frederick,
tho' I ought to thank you for your Care of me, yet till I am satisfied about my Father's Accusation, I can't return the Acknowledgments I owe you: Know you aught relating to my Sister?
I hope my Faith, and Truth, are known to you—And here by both I swear, I am ignorant of every Thing relating to your Father's Charge.
Enough, I do believe thee! Oh Fortune! Where will thy Malice end!
Enter Servant.
Sir, I bring you joyful News, I am told that
Don Antonio
is out of Danger and now in the Palace.
I wish it be true, then I'm at Liberty to watch my Rival, and persue my Sister; prithy
Frederick,
inform thy self of the Truth of this Report.
I will this Minute—Do you hear, let no body in to
Don Felix
till my return.
(
Exit.
I'll observe Sir.
(
Exit.
(
Peeping
)
They have almost frighted me out of my Wits—I'm sure—Now
Felix
is alone, I have a good Mind to pretend I came with a Message from my Lady; but then how shall I say I came into the Cupboard.
(
Aside.
Enter Servant, seeming to oppose the Entrance of some body.
I tell you Madam
Don Felix
is not here.
(
Within
)
I tell you Sir he is here, and I will see him.
(
breaks in
)
You are as difficult of Access Sir, as a first Minister of State.
My Stars! My Lady here!
(
Shuts the Press close.
If your Visit was design'd to
Frederick,
Madam, he is abroad,
No Sir, the Visit is to you.
You are very punctual in your Ceremonies Madam.
Tho' I did not come to return your Visit, but to take that which your Civility ought to have brought me.
If my Ears, my Eyes and my Understanding ly'd, then I am in your Debt, else not Madam.
I will not charge them with a Term so gross, to say they ly'd, but call it a Mistake, nay call it any thing to excuse my
Felix
—Cou'd I, Think ye, cou'd I put off my Pride so far, poorly to dissemble a Passion which I did not feel? Or seek a Reconciliation, with what I did not love? Do but consider, If I had entertain'd another, shou'd I not rather embrace this Quarrel, pleas'd with the Occasion that rid me of your Visits and gave me Freedom to enjoy the Choice which you think I have made; have I any Interest in thee but my Love? Or am I bound by aught but Inclination to submit and follow thee—No Law whilst single binds us to obey, but you by Nature, and Education, are oblig'd to pay a Deference to all Woman kind.
These are fruitless Arguments: 'Tis most certain thou wert dearer to these Eyes then all that Heaven e'er gave to Charm the Sense of Man, but I wou'd rather tear them out, than suffer 'em to delude my Reason, and enslave my Peace.
Can you love without Esteem? And where is the Esteem for her you still suspect? Oh
Felix
! There is a Delicacy—in Love, which equals even a religious Faith; true Love ne'er doubts the Object it adores, and Scepticks there, will disbelieve their Sight.
Enter Servant.
Your Notions are too refin'd for mine Madam. How now, what do you want?
Only my Master's Cloak out of this Press Sir, that's all, Oh! The Devil,—The Devil,
(
Opens the Press, sees
Flora,
and roars out.
Ha, a Woman conceal'd! Very well
Felix
!
Discover'd! Nay then Legs befriend me.
(
Runs out.
)
A Woman in the Press!
(
Enter
Lissardo.
How the Devil came a Woman there, Sirrah?
What shall I say now?
Now
Lissardo
shew your Wit to brin gyour Master off.
Off Madam! Nay, nay, nay, there, there needs no great Wit to, to, to, to bring him off Madam, for she did, and she did not come as, as, as, as a, a a Man may say directly to, to, to, to speak with my Master Madam.
I see by your Stammering,
Lissardo,
that your Invention is at at a very low Ebb.
S'Death Rascal, speak without Hessitation, and the Truth too, or I shall stick my Stilletto in your Guts.
No, no, your Master mistakes, he wou'd not have you speak the Truth.
Madam my Sincerity wants no excuse.
I am so confounded between one and the other, that I can't think of a Lye—
(
Aside.
Sirrah fetch me this Woman back instantly, I'll know what Business she had here!
Not a Step; your Master shan't be put to the Blush—Come a Truce
Felix
! Do you ask me no more Questions about the Window, and I'll forgive this.
I scorn Forgiveness where I own no Crime, but your Soul conscious of its Guilt, wou'd fain lay hold of this Occasion to blend your Treason with my Innocence.
Insolent! Nay, if instead of owning your Fault you endeavour to insult my Patience, I must tell you Sir, you don't behave your self like that Man of Honour you wou'd be taken for, you ground your Quarrel with me upon your own Inconstancy; 'tis plain you are false your self, and wou'd make me the Agressor—It was not for nothing the Fellow oppos'd my Entrance—This last Usage has given me back my Liberty, and now my Father's Will shall be obey'd without the least Reluctance.
(
Exit.
Oh, stubborn, stubborn Heart, what wilt thou do? Her Father's Will shall be obey'd! Ha, That carries her to a Cloyster, And cuts of all my Hopes at once—By Heaven she shall not, must not leave me. No she is not false, at least my Love now represents her true, because I fear to lose her, Ha! Villain, art thou here!
(
turns upon
Lissardo)
tell me this Moment who this Woman was, and for what Intent she was here conceal'd—Or▪
Ah, good Sir forgive me, and I'll tell you the whole Truth.
(
falls on his Knees.
Out with it then—
It, it it, was Mrs.
Flora
Sir.
Donna Violante
's Woman—you must know Sir, we have had a sneaking Kindness for one another a great while—She was not willing you should know it, so when she heard your Voice, she ran into the Cloaths Press, I wou'd have told you this at first, but I was afraid of her Lady's knowing it, this is the Truth as I hope for a whole Skin, Sir.
If it be not, I'll not leave you a whole Bone in it Sirrah—fly, and observe if
Violante
goes directly home.
Yes Sir, yes.
(
Exit.
I must convince her of my Faith, Oh! How irresolute is a Lovers Heart! My Resentments cool'd when hers grew high—Nor can I struggle longer with my Fate, I cannot quit her, no I cannot, so absolute a Conquest has she gain'd—Woman's the greatest sovereign Power on Earth.
In vain Men strive their Tyranny to quit,
Their Eyes command, and force us to submit.
So have I seen a metled Courser fly,
Tear up the Ground, And toss his Rider high;
Till some experienc'd Master found the Way,
With Spur and Rein to make his Pride obey.
Scene, the Terreiro de passa.
Enter
Colonel,
and
Isabella
vail'd.
Gibby
at a Distance.
Then you say, it is impossible for me to wait of you home Madam.
I say it is inconsistent with my Circumstance Colonel, and that Way impossible for me to admit of it.
Consent to go with me then—I lodge at one
Don Fredericks
's a Merchant just by here, he is a very honest Fellow and I dare confide in his Secrecy.
Ha, does he lodge there? Pray Heaven I am not discover'd.
(
Aside.
What say you my Charmer? Shall we breakfast together; I have some of the best Bohea in the Universe.
puh! Bohea! Is that the best Treat you can give a Lady at your Lodgings—Colonel!
Well hinted—No, no, no, I have other Things at thy Service Child.
What are those Things pray?
My Heart, Soul, and Body into the Bargain.
Has the last no Incumbrance upon it, can you make a clear Title, Colonel?
all Free-hold Child, and I'll afford the a very good Bargain.
(
embraces her.
Au my Sol, they mak muckle Wards about it, Ise seer weary with standing, Ise e'en tak a Sleep.
(
Lies down.
If I take a Lease, it must be for Life, Colonel.
Thou shalt have me as long, or as little Time as thou wilt; my Dear, come lets to my Lodging, and we'll Sign and Seal this Minute.
Oh, not so fast, Colonel, there are many Things to be adjusted before the Lawyer and the Parson comes.
The Lawyer, and the Parson! No, no, ye little Rogue, we can finish our Affairs without the help of the Law—or the Gospel.
Indeed but we can't, Colonel.
Indeed! Why hast thou then trappan'd me out of my warm Bed this Morning for nothing! Why, this is showing a Man half famish'd, a well furnish'd Larder, then clapping a Padlock on the Door, till you Starve him quite.
If you can find in your Heart to say Grace, Colonel, you shall keep the Key.
I love to see my Meat before I give Thanks, Madam, therefore uncover thy Face, Child, and I'll tell thee more of my Mind.—If I like you—
I dare not risk my Reputation upon your Ifs, Colonel—and so Adieu.
(
Going.
Nay, nay, nay, we must not part.
As you ever hope to see me more, suspend your Curiosity now; one Step farther looses me for ever.—Show your self a Man of Honour, and you shall find me a Woman of Honour.
(
Exit.
Well, for once, I'll trust to a Blind Bargain, Madam.—
(
Kisses her Hand, and parts.
)
But I shall be too Cunning for your Ladyship, if
Gibby
observes my Orders: Methinks these Intrigues, which relate to the Mind, are very insipid.—The Conversation of Bodys is much more diverting.—Ha! What do I see, my Rascal asleep? Sirrah, did I not charge you to watch the Lady? And is it thus you observe my Orders, ye Dog.
(
Kicks him all this while, and he shrugs, and rubs his Eyes, and Yawns.
)
That's Treu, an lik your Honour; but I thought that when ence ye had her in yer awn Honds, yee mite a orderd her yer sal weal eneugh without me, an ye keen, an like yer Honour.
Sirrah, hold your impertinent Tongue, and make haste after her; if you don't bring me some Account of her, never dare to see my Face again.
(
Exit.
Ay! This is bony Wark indeed to run three hunred Mile to this wicked Town, an before I can weel fill my Wem, to be sent a Whore hunting after this black shee Devil.—What Gat sal I gang to speer for this Wutch now? Ah, for a ruling Elder—or the Kirks Treaserer—or his Mon.—Id gar, my Master mak twa oh this;—But I'm seer there's na sike honest People here, or there wou'd na be so muckle Sculdudrie.
Fornication.
(
Enter an
English
Soldier passing along.
)
Geud Mon, did yee see a Woman, a Lady ony gate here away enow?
Yes, a great Many. What kind of a Woman is it you inquire after.
Geud troth, she's ne Kenspekle, she's aw in a Clowd.—
What, it's some High-land Monster which you brought over with you I suppose, I see no such not I, kenspekle quotha!
Huly, huly, Mon, the Deel pike out yer Eyn, and then you'll see the barer, yee
English
bag Pudin Tike.
What says the Fellow?
(
Turning to Gibby.
Say! I say I am a better Fellow than e'er stude upon yer Shanks—an gin I heer meer a yer din, deal a my Sol, Sir, but Ise crack your Crown.
Get you gone you
Scotch
Rascal, and thank your Heathen Dialect, which I don't understand, that you han't your Bones broke.
Ay! An ye do no understond a
Scots
Man's Tongue—Ise se gin yee can understond a
Scots
Man's Gripe: Wha's the bater Man now Sir?
(
Lays hold of him, strikes up his Heels, and gets a Stride over him.
)
Here
Violante
crosses the Stage,
Gibby
jumps up from the Man, and brushes up to
Violante.
I vow, Madam, but I am glad that yee, and I are foregather'd.
What wou'd the Fellow have?
Nothing, away Madam, wo worth yer Heart, what a muckle deel a Mischief had yee like to bring upon poor
Gibby.
The Man's Drunk.—
In troth am I not.—An gin I had not fond ye, Madam, the Laird knows when I shou'd; for my Master bad me nere gang Heam, without Tydings of yee, Madam.
Sirrah, get about your Business, or I'll have your Bones drub'd.
Geud Faith, my Master has e'en dun that te yer Honds, Madam.
Who is your Master? Friend.
Mony e'en Spiers the gat, they ken right weel.—It is no so long sen yee parted wi him, I wish he kent yee haafe as weel as yee ken him.
Pugh, the Creature's mad, or mistakes me for some Body else; and I shou'd be as Mad as he, to talk to him any longer.
(
Exit.
Enter
Lissardo
at the upper end of the Stage.
So, she's gone Home I see. What did that
Scotch
Fellao want with her? I'll try to find it out, perhaps I may discover something that may make my Master Friends with me again.
Are ye gaune, Madam, a Deel scope in yer Company, for I'm as weese as I was; but I'll bide and see whase House it is, gin I can meet wi ony Civel Body to Spier at.—Weel of aw Men in the Warld, I think our
Scots
Men the greatest Feuls, to leave their weel favour'd honest Women at Heam, to rin walloping after a pack of Gyrcarlings here, that shame to show their Faces, and peer Men, like me, are forc'd to be their Pimps; a Pimp! Godswarbit,
Gibby
's ne'er be a Pimp.—An yet in troth it is a threving Trade; I rememmer a Country-Man aw mi ean, that by ganging a sike like Errands as I am now, come to grat Preferment: My Lad, Wot yee wha lives here?
(
Turns and sees
Lissardo.
Don Pedro de Mendosa.
An did yee se a Lady gang in but now?
Yes, I did.
An dee yee ken her te?
It was
Donna Violante
his Daughter; what the Devil makes him so inquisitive? Here is something in it, that's certain: 'Tis a cold Morning Brother, what think you of a Dram?
In troth, very weel Sir.
You seem an honest Fellow, prithy lets Drink to our better Acquaintance.
Wi aw my Heart, Sir, gang yer gate to the next House, and Ise follow ye.—
Come along then.
(
Exit.
Don Pedro de Mendosa.—Donna Violante
his Daughter, that's as right as my Leg now.—Ise need na meer, I'll tak a Drink an then to my Master.—
Ise bring him News will mak his Heart full Blee,
Gin he rewards it not, Deel Pimp for me.
(Exit.
ACT IV.
SCENE, Violante
's Lodgings.
Enter
Isabella
in a gay Temper, and
Violante
out of Humour.
MY Dear, I have been seeking you this half Hour, to tell you the most lucky Adventure.
And you have pitch'd upon the most unlucky Hour for it, that you cou'd possibly have found in the whole four and Twenty.
Hang unlucky Hours, I won't think of them; I hope all my Misfortunes are past.
And mine all to come.
I have seen the Man I like.
And I have seen the Man that I cou'd wish to hate.
And you must assist me in discovering whether he can like me, or not.
You have assisted me in such a Discovery already, I thank ye.
What say you my Dear?
I say I am very unlucky at Discoveries
Isabella
; I have too lately made one pernicious to my Ease, your Brother is false.
Impossible!
Most true.
Some Villain has traduc'd him to you.
No,
Isabella,
I love too well to trust the Eyes of others; I never Credit the ill judging World, or form Suspicions upon vulgar Censures; no, I had Ocular Proof of his Ingratitude.
Then I am most unhappy; my Brother was the only Pledge of Faith betwixt us, if he has forfeited your Favour, I have no Title to your Friendship.
You wrong my Friendship,
Isabella
; Your own Merit intitles you to every thing within my Power.
Generous Maid—But may I not know what Grounds you have to think my Brother False.
Another time.—But tell me,
Isabella,
how can I serve you?
Thus then—The Gentleman that brought me hither, I have seen and talk'd with, upon the
Terreiro de passa
this Morning, and find him a Man of Sense Generosity, and good Humour, in short he is every Thing that I cou'd like for a Husband, and I have dispatch'd Mrs.
Flora
to bring him hither; I hope you'll forgive the Liberty I have taken.
Hither, to what Purpose?
To the great universal Purpose Matrimony.
Matrimony! Why do you design to ask him?
No,
Violante,
you must do that for me.
I thank you for the Favour you design me, but desire to be excus'd: I manage my own Affairs too ill, to be trusted with those of other People; besides, if my Father shou'd find a Stranger here, it might make him hurry me into a
Monastery
immediately; I can't for my Life admire your Conduct, to encourage a Person altogether unknown to you.—'Twas very Imprudent to meet him this Morning, but much more so, to send for him hither, knowing what Inconveniency you have already drawn upon me.
I am not insensible how far my Misfortunes have embarrrast you; and if you please, sacrifice my Quiet to your own.
Unkindly urg'd—Have I not preferr'd your Happiness to every Thing that's dear to me.
I know thou hast—Then do not deny me this last Request, which in a few Hours perhaps, may render my Condition, able to clear thy Fame, and bring my Brother to thy Feet for Pardon.
I wish you don't repent of this Intrigue. I suppose he knows you are the same Woman that he brought in here last Night.
Not a Syllable of that, I met him vail'd, and to prevent his knowing the House, I order'd Mrs.
Flora
to bring him by the back Door into the Garden.
The very Way which
Felix
comes, If they should meet, there would be fine Work—Indeed my Dear I can't approve of your Design.
Enter
Flora.
Madam the Colonel waits your Pleasure.
How durst you go upon such a Message Mistress without acquainting me.
'Tis too late to dispute that now, dear
Violante,
I acknowledge the Rashness of the Action—But consider the Necessity of my Deliverance.
That is indeed a weighty Consideration, well, what am I to do.
In the next Room I'll give you Instructions, in the mean time Mrs.
Flora
show the Colonel into this.
(
Exit
Flora
one Way, and
Isabella
and
Violante
another.
)
Re-Enter
Flora
with the
Colonel.
The Lady will wait on you presently Sir,
(
Exit.
Very well—This is a very fruitful Soil, I have not been here quite four and twenty Hours, and I have three Intrigues upon my Hands already, but I hate the Chase, without partaking the Game.
(
Enter Violante vail'd.
)
Ha, a fine siz'd Woman—Pray Heaven she proves Handsome—I am come to obey your Ladyship's Commands.
Are you sure of that,
Colonel?
If you be not very unreasonable indeed, Madam; a Man is but a Man.
(
Takes her Hand, and kisses it.
)
Nay, We have no Time for Compliments, Colonel.
I understand you, Madam—
Montre moy votre Chambre.
(
Takes her in his Arms.
)
Nay, nay, hold Colonel, my Bed-Chamber is not to be enter'd without a certain Purchase.
Purchase! Humph, This is some kept Mistress, I suppose; who industriously lets out her leisure Hours.
(
Aside.
)
Look ye, Madam, you must consider we Soldiers are not over stock'd with Money.—But we make ample Satisfaction in Love; we have a world of Courage upon our Hands now, you know:—Then prithy use a Conscience, and I'll try if my Pocket can come up to your Price.
(
Puts his Hands into his Pocket.
Nay, don't give your self the trouble of drawing your Purse Colonel, my Design is level'd at your Person, if that be at your own disposal.
Ay, that it is Faith Madam, and I'll settle it as firmly upon thee.—
As Law can do it.
Hang Law in love Affairs, thou shalt have Right and Title to it out of pure Inclination.—A Matrimonial Hint again! Gad, I fancy the Women have a Project on foot to transplant the Union into
Portugal.
Then you have an aversion to Matrimony, Colonel; did you never see a Woman, in all your Travels, that you cou'd like for a Wife?
A very odd Question.—Do you really expect that I shou'd speak Truth now?
I do, if you expect to be so dealt with, Colonel.
Why then,——Yes.
Is she in your own Country, or this?
This is a very pretty kind of a Catechism; but I don't conceive which way it turns to Edification: In this Town I believe Madam.
Her Name is.—
Ay, How is she call'd, Madam!
Nay, I ask you that, Sir.
Oh, ho, why she is call'd—Pray Madam, how is it you Spell your Name?
Oh, Colonel, I am not the happy Woman, nor do I wish it.
No, I'm sorry for that.—What the Devil does she mean by all these Questions?
(
Aside.
Come Colonel, for once be Sincere.—Perhaps you may not repent it.
Faith Madam, I have an Inclination to Sincerity, but I'm afraid you'll call my Manners in Question: This is like to be but a silly Adventure, here's so much Sincerity required.
(
Aside.
Not at all; I prefer Truth before Compliment in this Affair.
Why then to be plain with you, Madam, a Lady last Night wounded my Heart by a Fall from a Window, whose Person I cou'd be contented to take, as my Father took my Mother, till Death us doth part:—But who she is, or how distinguish'd, whether Maid, Wife, or Widow I can't inform you, perhaps you are she.
Not to keep you in suspence, I am not She, but I can give you an Account of Her; that Lady is a Maid of Condition, has ten Thousand Pounds; and if you are a single Man, her Person, and Fortune are at your Service.
I accept the Offer with the highest Transports; but say my charming Angel, art thou not she.
(
offers to Embrace her.
)
This is a lucky Adventure.
(
Aside.
Once again, Colonel, I tell you I am not she.— But at Six, this Evening you shall find her on the
Terriere de passa,
with a white Handkerchief in her Hand; get a Priest ready, and you know the rest.
I shall infallibly observe your Directions, Madam.
Enter
Flora
hastily, and Whispers
Violante,
who starts and seems surpiz'd.
Ha
Felix,
crossing the Garden, say you, what shall I do now?
You seem surpriz'd Madam.
Oh, Colonel, my Father is coming hither, an if he finds you here I am ruin'd!
Odslife Madam, thrust me any where, can't I go out this way?
No, no, no, he comes that way, how shall I prevent their Meeting? Here, here, step into my Bed-Chamber and be still, as you value her you love; don't stir till you've Notice, as ever you hope to have her in your Arms.
On that Condition I'll not breath.
(
Exit.
Enter
Felix.
I wonder where my Dog of a Servant is all this while.—But she's at Home I find.—How coldly she regards me.—You look
Violante
as if the sight of me were troublesome.
Can I do otherways, when you have the Assurance to approach me, after what I saw to Day.
Assurance, rather call it good Nature, after what I heard last Night; but such regard to Honour, have I in my Love to you, I cannot bear to be suspected, nor suffer you to entertain false Notions of my Truth, without endeavouring to convince you of my Innocence, so much good Nature have I more than you
Violante.
—Pray give me leave to ask your Woman man one Question; my Man assures me she was the Person you saw at my Lodgings.
I confess it, Madam, and ask your Pardon.
Impudent Baggage, not to undeceive me sooner, what Business cou'd you have there?
Lissardo
and she it seems imitate You and I.
I love to follow the Example of my Betters, Madam.
I hope I am justify'd.—
Since we are to part,
Felix,
there needed no Justification.
Methinks you talk of parting, as a Thing indifferent to you; can you forget how I have lov'd?
I wish I cou'd forget my own Passion; I shou'd with less Concern remember yours.—But for Mrs.
Flora.
—
You must forgive her;—Must did I say? I fear I have no Power to Impose, tho' the Injury was done to me.
'Tis harder to Pardon an Injury done to what we love than to our selves, but at your Request,
Felix,
I do forgive her; go watch my Father,
Flora,
least he shou'd wake, and surprize us.
Yes, Madam.
(
Exit
Flora.
Dost thou then love me,
Violante?
What need of Repetition from my Tongue, when every Look confesses what you ask?
Oh! Let no Man judge of Love but those who feel it, what wondrous Magick lies in one kind Look.—One tender Word destroys a Lover's Rage, and melts his fiercest Passion into soft Complaint. Oh the Window,
Violante,
woud'st thou but clear that one Suspicion!
Prithy no more of that, my
Felix,
a little time shall bring thee perfect Satisfaction.
Well
Violante,
on that Condition you think no more of a
Monastery.
—I'll wait with Patience for his Mighty Secret.
Ah
Felix,
Love generally gets the better of Religion in us Women▪ Resolutions made in heat of Passion, ever dissolve upon Reconciliation.
Enter
Flora
hastily.
Oh Madam, Madam, Madam, my Lord your Father has been in the Garden, and lock'd the back Door, and comes muttering to himself this way.
Then we are caught: Now
Felix
we are undone.
Heavens forbid, this is most unlucky; let me step into your Bed-Chamber, he won't look under the Bed; there I may conceal my self.
(
runs to the Door, and pushes it open a little.
)
My Stars! If he goes in there he'll find the Colonel.—No, no,
Felix,
that's no safe Place, my Father often goes thither; and shou'd you Cough, or Sneeze, we are lost.
Either my Eyes deceiv'd me, or I saw a Man within, I'll watch him close.—She shall deal with the Devil, if she conveys him out without my Knowledge.
(
Aside.
)
what shall I do then?
Bless me, how I tremble!
Oh, Invention, Invention!—I have it Madam, here, here, here Sir, off with your Sword, and I'll fetch you a Disguise.
(
Runs in and fetches out a Riding-Hood.
Ay, ay, any Thing to avoid
Don Pedro.
Oh! Quick, quick, quick, I shall die with Apprehension.
(Flora
puts the Riding-Hood on
Felix.)
Besure you don't speak a Word!
Not for the
Indies.
—But I shall observe you closer than you imagine.
(
Aside.
(
Within.
)
Violante
where are you, Child,
(
Enter
Don Pedro.)
Why, how came the Garden. Door open? Ha! how now, who have we here?
Humph, he'll certainly discover him.
(
Aside.
'Tis my Mother, and please you, Sir.
(
She and
Felix
both Curtesy.
)
Your Mother! By St.
Anthony
she's a strapper; why, you are a Dwarf to her.—How many Children have you good Woman?
Oh! If he speaks we are lost.
(
Aside.
Oh! Dear
Senior,
she can't hear you, she has been Deaf these twenty Years.
Alas poor Woman.—Why, you Muffle her up as if she were Blind too.
Wou'd I were fairly off.
(
Aside.
Turn up her Hood.
Undone for ever.—St.
Anthony
forbid: Oh Sir, she has the dreadfullest unlucky Eyes.—Pray don't look upon them, I made her keep her Hood shut on Purpose.—Oh, oh, oh!
Eyes! Why, what's the Matter with her Eyes?
My poor Mother, Sir, is much afflicted with the Cholick; and about two Months ago she had it grievously in her Stomach, and was over-persuaded to take a Dram of filthy
English Geneva.
—Which immediately flew up into her Head, and caus'd such a Defluxion in her Eyes, that she cou'd never since bear the Day-Light.
Say you so.—Poor Woman!—Well, make her sit down,
Violante,
and give her a Glass of Wine.
Let her Daughter give her a Glass below, Sir, for my Part, she has frighted me so, I shan't be my self these two Hours. I am sure her Eyes are evil Eyes.
Well hinted.
Well, well, do so, evil Eyes, there is no evil Eyes Child.
(
Ex.
Felix
and
Flora.
I'm glad he's gone.
Hast thou heard the News,
Violante?
What News, Sir?
Why,
Vasquez
tells me that
Don Lopez
's Daughter
Isabella,
is run away from her Father, that Lord has very ill Fortune with his Children.—Well, I'm glad my Daughter has no Inclination to Mankind, that my House is plagu'd with no Suitors.
(
Aside.
This is the first Word I ever heard of it, I pity her Frailty.—
Well said
Violante.
—Next Week I intend thy Happiness shall begin.
(
Enter
Flora.
I don't intend to stay so long, I thank you, Pa, pa.
(
Aside.
My Lady
Abbess
writes Word she longs to see thee, and has provided every Thing in order for thy Reception.—Thou wilt lead a happy Life my Girl.—Fifty times before that of Matrimony, where an extravagant Coxcomb might make a Beggar of thee, or an ill Natur'd surly Dog break thy Heart.
Break her Heart! She had as good have her Bones broke as to be a Nun; I am sure I had, rather of the two.—You are wondrous kind, Sir, but if I had such a Father, I know what I wou'd do.
Why, what wou'd you do Minx, ha?
I wou'd tell him I had as good Right and Title to the Laws of Nature, and the End of the Creation, as he had.—
You wou'd Mistress, who the Devil doubts it! A good Assurance is a Chamber-Maid's Coat of Arms; and lying, and contriving the Supporters.—Your Inclinations are on Tip-toe it seems.—If I were your Father, Housewife, I'd have a Penance enjoyn'd you, so strict, that you shou'd not be able to turn you in your Bed for a Month.—You are enough to spoil your Lady Housewife, if she had not abundance of Devotion.
Fye
Flora,
Are not you asham'd to talk thus to my Father? You said Yesterday you wou'd be glad to go with me into the
Monastery.
She go with thee! No, no, she's enough to Debauch the whole Convent.—Well Child, remember what I said to thee, next Week.—
Ay, and what am I to do this too.—
(
Aside.
I am all Obedience, Sir, I care not how soon I change my Condition.
But little does he think what Change she means.
(
Aside.
Well said
Violante.
—I am glad to find her so willing to leave the World, but it is wholly owing to my Prudent Management; did she know that she might command her Fortune when she came at Age, or upon Day of Marriage, Perhaps she'd change her Note.—But I have always told her that her Grand-Father left it with this Proviso, That she turn'd
Nun,
now a small Part of this twenty Thousand Pounds provides for her in the
Nunnery,
and the rest is my own; there is nothing to be got in this Life without Policy.
(
Aside.
)
Well Child, I am going into the Country for two or three Days, to settle some Affairs with thy Unkle.—And then.—Come help me on with my Cloak, Child.
Yes Sir.
(
Exit.
Pedro
and
Violante.
So now for the Colonel.
(
Goes to the Chamber Door.
)
Hist, hist Colonel.
(
Colonel peeping.
)
Is the Coast clear?
Yes, if you can Climb, for you must get over the Wash-House, and Jump from the Garden-Wall into the Street.
Nay, nay, I don't value my Neck if my Incogita Answers but thy Lady's Promise.
(
Exit
Colonel
and
Flora.)
Re-Enter
Pedro
and
Violante.
Good bye
Violante,
take Care of thy self, Child.
I wish you a good Journey, Sir.—Now to set my Prisoner at Liberty.
(
Enter
Felix
behind
Violante.
I have lain Perdue under the Stairs, till I watch'd the old Man out.
Sir, Sir, you may appear.
(
Goes to the Door.
May he so, Madam.—I had Cause for my Suspicion, I find, treacherous Woman.
Ha,
Felix
here! Nay then, all's discover'd.
(
Draws.
)
Villain, who e'er thou art, come out I charge thee, and take the Reward of thy Adulterous Errand.
What shall I say.—Nothing but the Secret which I have Sworn to keep can reconcile this Quarrel.
(
Aside.
A Coward! Nay, then I'll fetch you out, think not to hide thy self; no, by St.
Anthony,
an Altar should not Protect thee, even there I'd reach thy Heart, tho' all the Saints were arm'd in thy Defence.
(
Exit.
Defend me Heaven! What shall I do? I must discover
Isabella,
or here will be Murder.
Enter
Flora.
I have help'd the Colonel off clear, Madam.
Say'st thou my Girl? Then I am arm'd.
Re-Enter
Felix.
Where has the Devil in Complaisance to your Sex convey'd him from my just Resentments?
Him, who do you mean my dear inquisitive Spark? Ha, ha, ha, ha, will you never leave these Jealous Whims?
Will you never cease to Impose upon me?
You impose upon your self, my Dear, do you think I did not see you? Yes, I did, and resolv'd to put this Trick upon you; I knew you'd take the Hint, and soon relapse into your wonted Error: how easily your Jealousy is fir'd, I shall have a blessed Life with you.
Was there nothing in it then, but only to try me?
Won't you believe your Eyes?
No, because I find they have deceiv'd me; well, I am convinc'd that Faith is as necessary in Love as in Religion; for the Moment a Man lets a Woman know her Conquest, he resigns his Senses, and sees nothing but what she'd have him.
And as soon as that Man finds his Love return'd, she becomes as errant a Slave, as if she had already said after the Priest.
The Priest,
Violante,
wou'd dissipate those Fears which cause these Quarrels; when wilt thou make me Happy?
To-Morrow I will tell thee, my Father is gone for two or three Days to my Uncles, we have time enough to finish our Affairs.—But prithy leave me now, for I expect some Ladies to Visit me.
If you Command it.—Fly swift ye Hours, and bring to-Morrow on.—You desire I wou'd leave you,
Violante.
I do at present.
So much you reign the Sovereign of my Soul,
That I Obey without the least Controul.
(Exit.
Enter
Isabella.
I am glad my Brother and you are reconcil'd my Dear, and the Colonel escap'd without his knowledge; I was frighted out of my Wits when I heard him return.—I know not how to express my Thanks Woman.— for what you suffer'd for my Sake, my grateful Acknowlegements shall ever wait you; and to the World proclaim the Faith, Truth, and Honour of a Woman—
Prithy don't Compliment thy Friend,
Isabella.
—You heard the Colonel I suppose.
Every Syllable, and am pleas'd to find I do not Love in vain.
Thou hast caught his Heart it seems; and an Hour hence may secure his Person.—Thou hast made hasty Work on't, Girl.
From thence I draw my Happiness, we shall have no Accounts to make up after Consummation.
She who for Years, protracts her Lover's Pain,
And makes him Wish, and Wait, and Sigh in vain,
To be his Wife, when late she gives Consent,
Finds half his Passion was in Courtship spent;
Whilst they who boldly all Delays remove,
Find every Hour a fresh supply of Love.
ACT V.
SCENE, Frederick's
House.
Enter
Felix
and
Frederick.
THIS Hour has been propitious, I am reconcil'd to
Violante,
and you assure me
Antonio
is out of Danger.
Your Satisfaction is doubly mine.
Enter
Lissardo.
What Haste you made Sirrah, to bring me Word if
Violante
went home?
I can give you very good Reasons for my stay Sir.—Yes Sir, she went home.
O! Your Master knows that, for he has been there himself
Lissardo.
Sir, may I beg the Favour of your Ear.
What have you to say?
(
Whispers, and
Felix
seems uneasy.
)
Ha,
Felix
changes Colour at
Lissardo
's News. What can it be?
A
Scots
Footman, that belongs to Colonel
Britton,
an Acquaintance of
Frederick's
say you; the Devil! If she be false, by Heaven I'll trace her. Prithy
Frederick
do you know one Colonel
Britton
a
Scotsman?
Yes, why do you ask me?
Nay no great Matter, but my Man tells me that he has had some little Difference with a Servant of his, that's all.
He is a good harmless innocent Fellow, I am sorry for it; the Colonel lodges in my House, I knew him formerly in
England,
and met him here by Accident last Night, and gave him an Invitation home, he is a Gentleman of a good Estate, besides his Commission; of excellent Principles, and strict Honour I assure you.
Is he a Man of Intrigue?
Like other Men I suppose, here he comes.—
(
Enter
Colonel.
Colonel, I began to think I had lost you.
—And not without some Reasons if you knew all.
There's no Danger of a fine Gentleman's being lost in this Town, Sir.
That Compliment don't belong to me Sir. But I assure you I have been very near being run away with.
Who attempted it?
Faith I know her not—Only that she is a charming Woman, I mean as much as I saw of her.
My Heart swells with Apprehension.—Some accidental Rencounter.—
A Tavern I suppose adjusted the Matter.—
A Tavern! No, no Sir, she is above that Rank I assure you, this Nymph sleeps in a Velvet Bed, and Lodgings every Way agreeable.
Ha, a Velvet Bed!—I thought you said but now Sir, you knew her not.
No more I don't Sir.
How came you then so well acquainted with her Bed?
Ay, ay, come, come, unfold.
Why then you must know Gentleman, that I was convey'd to her Lodgings, by one of Cupids Emissaries, call'd a Chambermaid, in a Chair, thro' fifty blind Alleys, who by the help of a Key let me into a Garden.
S'Death, a Garden, this must be
Violante
's Garden.
(
Aside.
From thence conducted me into a spacious Room, then dropt me a Courtesie, told me her Lady would wait on me presently, so without unvailing modestly withdrew.
Damn her Modesty; this was
Flora.
(
Aside.
Well, how then Colonel?
Then Sir, immediately from another Door issued forth a Lady, arm'd at both Eyes, from whence such Showers of Darts fell round me, that had I not been cover'd with the Shield of another Beauty, I had infallibly fall'n a Martyr to her Charms; for you must know I just saw her Eyes, Eyes did I say? No, no, hold, I saw but one Eye, tho' I suppose it had a Fellow, equally as killing.
But how came you to see her Bed Sir? S'Death this Expectation gives a thousand Racks.
(
Aside.
Why upon her Maid's giving Notice her Father was coming she thrust me into the Bed-Chamber.
Upon her Father's coming?
Ay, so she said, but putting my Ear to the Keyhole of the Door, I found it was another Lover.
Confound the Jilt! 'Twas she without dispute.
(
Aside.
Ah poor Colonel, ha, ha, ha.
I discover'd they had had a Quarrel, but whether they were reconcil'd or not, I can't tell, for the second Alarm brought the Father in good earnest, and had like to have made the Gentleman and I acquainted, but she found some other Stratagem to convey him out.
Contagion seize her, and make her Body ugly as her Soul. There's nothing left to doubt of now,—'Tis plain 'twas she,—Sure he knows me, and takes this Method to insult me, S'Death I cannot bear it.
(
Aside.
So when she had dispatch'd her old Lover, she paid you a Visit in her Bed-Chamber, ha, Colonel?
No, Pox take the impertinent Puppy, he spoil'd my Diversion, I saw her no more.
Very fine! Give me Patience Heaven, or I shall burst with Rage.
(
Aside.
That was hard.
Nay, what was worse, the Nymph that introduc'd me convey'd me out again over the Top of a high Wall, where I ran the Danger of having my Neck broke, for the Father it seems had lock'd the Door by which I enter'd.
That Way I miss'd him:—Damn her Invention.
(
Aside.
)
Pray Colonel was this the same Lady you met upon the
Terrerio de passa
this Morning?
Faith I can't tell Sir, I had a Design to know who that Lady was, but my Dog of a Footman, whom I had order'd to watch her home, fell fast a Sleep—I gave him a good beating for his Neglect, and I have never seen the Rascal since.
Here he comes.
Enter
Gibby.
Where have you been Sirrah?
Troth Ise been seeking yee an like yer Honor these twa Hoors an meer, I bring yee glad Teedings Sir.
What have you found the Lady?
Geud Faith ha I Sir—an Shee's call'd
Donna Violante,
and her Parent
Don Pedro de Mendosa,
an gin yee wull gang wa mi, an't like ye'r honor, Ise mak yee ken the Huse right weel.
Oh, Torture! Torture!
(
Aside.
Ha!
Violante
! That's the Lady's Name of the House where my Incognita is, sure it could not be her, at least it was not the same House I'm confident.
(
Aside.
Violante!
'Tis false, I wou'd not have you credit him Colonel.
The Deel brust my Blader, Sir gin I lee.
Sirrah, I say you do lye, and I'll make you eat it you Dog.
(
kicks him
)
and if your Master will justify you—
Not I faith Sir—I answer for no body's Lyes, but my own, if you please kick him again.
But gin he dus, Ise ne tak it Sir, gin he was a thousand
Spaniards.
(
walks about in a Passion.
I ow'd you a beating Sirrah, and I'm oblig'd to this Gentleman for taking the Trouble off my Hands, therefore say no more, d'ye hear Sir?
(
Aside to
Gibby.
Troth de I Sir, and feel tee.
This must be a Mistake Colonel, for I know
Violante
perfectly well, and I'm certain she would not meet you upon the
Terriero de passa.
Don't be too positive
Frederick,
now I have some Reasons to believe it was that very Lady.
You'd very much oblige me Sir, if you'd let me know these Reasons.
Sir.
Sir, I say I have a right to enquire into those Reasons you speak off.
Ha, ha, really Sir I cannot conceive how you, or any Man can have a right to enquire into my Thoughts.
Sir I have a Right to every Thing that relates to
Violante
—And he that traduces her Fame, and refuses to give his Reasons for't is a Villain.
(
Draws.
What the Devil have I been doing; now Blisters on my Tongue, by Dozens.
(
Aside.
Prithy
Felix
don't quarrel till you know for what, this is all a Mistake I'm positive.
Look ye Sir, that I dare draw my Sword I think will admit of no Dispute.—But tho' fighting's my Trade, I'm not in Love with it, and think it more honourable to decline this Business, than pursue it. This may be a Mistake, however I'll give you my Honour never to have any Affair directly, or indirectly with
Violante
provided she is your
Violante
; but if there shou'd happen to be another of her Name I hope you wou'd not engross all the
Violantes
in the Kingdom.
Your Vanity has given me sufficient Reasons to believe I'm not mistaken, I'm not to be impos'd upon Sir.
Nor I bully'd Sir.
Bully'd! S'Death, such another Word, and I'll nail thee to the Wall.
Are you sure of that
Spaniard.
(
Draws.
(
Draws
)
Say ne meer Mon, aw my Sol here's Twa, to Twa, dona fear Sir,
Gibby
stonds by yee for the Honor a
Scotland.
(
Vapers about.
By St.
Anthony
you shan't fight
(
Interposes
)
on bare Suspicion, be certain of the Injury, and then.—
That I will this Moment, and then Sir—I hope you are to be found—
When ever you please Sir.
(
Exit
Felix.
S'bleed Sir, there neer was
Scotsman
yet that sham'd to shew his Face.
(
strutting about.
Quarrels spring up like Mushrooms, in a Minute:
Violante,
and he, was but just reconcil'd, and you have furnish'd him with fresh Matter for falling out again, and I am certain Colonel,
Gibby
is in the Wrong.
Gin I be Sir, the Mon that tald me leed, and gin he dud, the Deel be my Landlard, Hell my Winter Quarters, and a Rope my Winding Sheet, Gin I dee no lik him as lang as I can hold a Stick in my Hond, now see yee.
I am sorry for what I have said, for the Lady's Sake, but who could divine, that she was his Mistress, prithy who is this warm Spark?
He is the Son of one of our Grandees, nam'd
Don Lopez de Pementell,
a very honest Gentleman, but something passionate in what relates to his Love.—He is an only Son, which perhaps may be one Reason for indulging his Passion.
When Parents have but one Child, they either make a Madman, or a Fool of him.
He is not the only Child, he has a Sister, but I think thro' the Severity of his Father, who would have married her against her Inclination, she has made her escape, and notwithstanding he has offer'd five hundred Pounds, he can get no Tydings of her.
Ha! How long has she been missing?
Nay, but since last Night, it seems.
Last Night! The very Time! How went she?
No body can tell, they conjecture thro' the Window.
I'm transported! This must be the Lady I caught; What sort of a Woman is she?
Middle siz'd, a lovely brown, a fine pouting Lip, Eyes that roul and languish, and seem to speak the exquisite Pleasure that her Arms could give!
Oh! I'm fir'd with his Description—'Tis the very she—What's her Name?
Isabella
—You are transported Colonel.
I have a natural Tendency in me to the Flesh, thou know'st, and who can hear of Charms so exquisite, and yet remain unmov'd? Oh, how I long for the appointed Hour! I'll to the
Terreiro de passa,
and wait my Happiness, if she fails to meet me, I'll once more attempt to find her at
Violante
's in spite of her Brother's Jealousy.
(
Aside
)
Dear
Frederick
I beg your Pardon but I had forgot, I was to meet a Gentleman upon Business at Five, I'll endeavour to dispatch him, and wait on you again as soon as possible.—
Your humble Servant Colonel.
(
Exit.
Gibby
I have no Business with you at present.
(
Exit Colonel.
That's weel—naw will I gang and seck this Loon, and gar him gang with me to
Don Pedro
's Huse—Gin he will no gang of himsel, Ise gar him gang by the Lug Sir; Godswarbit
Gibby
hates a Lear.
(
Exit.
Scene changes to
Violante
's Lodgings.
Enter
Violante
and
Isabella.
The Hour draws on
Violante,
and now my Heart begins to fail me, but I resolve to venture for all that.
What does your Courage sink
Isabella?
Only the Force of Resolution a little retreated, but I'll rally it again for all that.
Enter
Flora.
Don Felix
is coming up Madam!
My Brother! Which way shall I get out—Dispatch him as soon as you can dear
Violante.
(
Exit into the Closet.
I will.
(
Enter
Felix
in a surly Posture.
)
Felix,
what brings you back so soon, did not I say to-morrow?
My Passion choaks me, I cannot speak, oh I shall burst!
(
Aside.
)
(
Throws himself into a Chair.
)
Bless me! are you not well my
Felix?
Yes,—No,—I don't know what I am.
Hey Day! What's the Matter now? Another jealous Whim!
With what an Air she carries it.—I sweat at her Impudence.
(
Aside.
If I were in your Place,
Felix,
I'd chuse to stay at home, when these Fits of Spleen were upon me, and not trouble such Persons as are not oblig'd to bear with them.
(
Here he affects to be careless of her.
I am very sensible Madam of what you mean: I disturb you no doubt, but were I in a better Humour I shou'd not incommode you less. I am but too well convinc'd, that you could easily dispence with my Visit.
When you behave your self as you ought to do no Company so welcome—But when you reserve me for your ill Nature, I wave your Merit, and consider what's due to my self—And I must be so free to tell you
Felix,
that these Humors of yours will abate, if not absolutely destroy the very Principles of Love.
(
Rising
)
And I must be so free to tell you Madam, that since you have made such ill Returns to the Respect that I have paid you, all you do shall be indifferent to me for the Future, and you shall find me abandon your Empire with so little Difficulty, that I'll convince the World your Chains are not so hard to break as your Vanity would tempt you to believe—I cannot brook the Provocations you give.
This is not to be born—Insolent! You abandon! You! Whom I have so often forbad ever to see me more! Have you not fall'n at my Feet? Implor'd my Favour and Forgiveness—Did you not trembling wait, and wish, and sigh, and swear your self into my Heart? Ingrateful Man! If my Chains are so easily broke as you pretend, then you are the silliest Coxcomb living, you did not break 'em long ago; and I must think him capable of brooking any thing on whom such Usage could make no Impression.
(
Peeping.
)
A Duce take your Quarrels she'll never think on me.
I always believed, Madam, my Weakness was the greatest Addition to your Power, you would be less Imperious, had my Inclination been less forward to oblige you.—You have indeed forbad me your Sight, but your Vanity even then assured you I would return, and I was Fool enough to feed your Pride.—Your Eyes, with all their boasted Charms, have acquired the greatest Glory in conquering me.—And the brightest Passage of your Life is, wounding this Heart with such Arms as pierce but few Persons of my Rank.
(
Walks about in a great Pet.
)
Matchless Arrogance! True Sir, I should have kept Measures better with you, if the Conquest had been worth preserving, but we easily hazard what gives us no Pain to loose.—As for my Eyes, you are mistaken if you think they have vanquished none but you; there are Men above your boasted Rank who have confess'd their Power, when their Misfortune in pleasing you made them obtain such a disgraceful Victory.
Yes Madam, I am no Stranger to your Victories.
And what you call the brightest Passage of my Life, is not the least glorious Part of yours.
Ha, ha, don't put your self into a Passion, Madam, for I assure you after this Day I shall give you no Trouble.—You may meet your Sparks on the
Terriero de Passa
at Four in the Morning, without the least Regard of mine.—For when I quit your Chamber, the World shan't bring me back.
I am so well pleas'd with your Resolution, I don't care how soon you take your leave.—But what you mean by the
Terreiro de passa
at Four in the Morning I can't guess.
No, no, no, not you.—You was not upon the
Terriero de passa
at Four this Morning.
No, I was not; but if I was, I hope I may Walk where I please, and at what Hour I please without asking you leave.
Oh, doubtless Madam! And you might meet Colonel
Britton
there, and afterwards send your Emissary to fetch him to your House.—And upon your Father's coming in, thrust him into your Bed-Chamber—without asking my leave. 'Tis no Business of mine if you are exposed among all the Foot-Men in Town.—Nay, if they Ballad you, and cry you about at a half-Penny a piece.—They may without my Leave.
Audacious! Don't provoke me—Don't; my Reputation is not to be sported with
(
Going up to him.
)
at this rate.—No Sir, it is not.
(
bursts into Tears.
)
Inhuman
Felix
!—Oh
Isabella,
what a Train of Ills hast thou brought on me?
Ha! I cannot bear to see her Weep.—A Woman's Tears are far more Fatal than our Swords.
(
Aside.
)
Oh
Violante.
—S'Death! What a Dog am I? Now have I no Power to stir:—Dost not thou know such a Person as Colonel
Britton?
Prithy tell me, did'st not thou meet him at Four this Morning upon the
Terreiro de passa
?
Were it not to clear my Fame, I would not answer thee thou black Ingrate!—But I cannot bear to be reproach'd with what I even Blush to think of, much less to act; by Heaven I have not seen the
Terreiro de passa
this Day.
Did not a
Scots
Foot-Man attack you in the Street neither
Violante?
Yes, but he mistook me for another, or he was Drunk, I know not which.
And do not you know this
Scots
Colonel?
Pray ask me no more Questions, this Night shall clear my Reputation, and leave you without Excuse for your base Suspicions; more than this I shall not satisfie you, therefore Pray leave me.
Didst thou ever love me,
Violante?
I'll answer nothing.—You was in haste to be gone just now, I should be very well pleas'd to be alone, Sir.
(
She sits down, and turns aside.
I shall not long interrupt your Contemplation.—Stubborn to the last.
(
Aside.
Did ever Woman involve her self as I have done?
Now wou'd I give one of my Eyes to be Friends with her, for something whispers to my Soul she is not guilty.—
(
He pauses, then pulls a Chair, and sits by her at a little distance, looking at her some time without speaking—Then draws a little nearer to her.
)
Give me your Hand at parting however
Violante,
won't you,
(
Here he lays his open upon her Knee several times.
)
won't you—won't you—won't you?
(
Half regarding him.
)
Won't I do what?
You know what I wou'd have,
Violante,
Oh my Heart!
(
Smiling.
)
I thought my Chains were easily broke.
(
Lays her Hand into his.
)
(
Draws his Chair close to her, and kisses her Hand in a Rapture.
)
Too well thou knowest thy Strength.—Oh my charming Angel, my Heart is all thy own, forgive my hasty Passion, 'tis the transport of a Love sincere!
Don Pedro
within.
Bid
Sancho
get a New Wheel to my Chariot presently.
Bless me! My Father return'd! What shall we do now
Felix?
We are ruin'd, past Redemption.
No, no, no, my Love, I can leap from thy Closet Window.
(
Runs to the Door where
Isabella
is, who claps too the Door, and Bolts it within side.
)
(
Peeping.
)
Say you so, But I shall prevent you.
Confusion! Some Body bolts the Door within side, I'll see who you have conceal'd here if I dye for't; Oh
Violante
! Hast thou again sacrific'd me to my Rival?
(
Draws.
By Heaven thou hast no Rival in my Heart, let that suffice—nay sure you will not let my Father find You here—Distraction!
Indeed but I shall—except You command this Door to be open'd, and that way conceal me from his Sight.
(
He struggles with her to come at the Door.
Hear me
Felix
—tho' I were sure the refusing what you ask would separate us for ever, by all that's powerful You should not enter here, either You do love me, or You do not, convince me by Your Obedience.
That's not the Matter in debate—I will know who is in this Closet, let the Consequence be what it will. Nay, nay, nay, You strive in vain, I will go in.
You shall not go in—
Enter
Don Pedro.
Hey day! What's here to do! I will go in, and You shan't go in,—and I will go in—why who are you Sir?
'Sdeath! What shall I say now!
Don Felix,
pray what's your Business in my House? Ha Sir?
Oh Sir, what Miracle return'd you home so soon? Some Angel 'twas that brought my Father back to succour the Distress'd—this Ruffian here I cannot call him Gentleman—has committed such an uncommon rudeness, as the most profligate Wretch wou'd be asham'd to own—
Ha, what the Devil does she mean!
(
Aside.
As I was at my Devotion in my Closet, I heard a loud knocking at our Door, mix'd with a Woman's Voice, which seem'd to imply she was in Danger—
I am confounded!
(
Aside.
I flew to the Door with utmost speed, where a Lady vail'd rushed in upon me, who falling on her Knees begg'd my Protection, from a Gentleman whom she said persued her, I took Compassion on her Tears, and locked her into this Closet, but in the Surprize having left open the Door, this very Person whom You see, with his drawn Sword ran in; protesting, if I refused to give her up to his Revenge, he'd force the Door.
What in the Name of Goodness, does she mean to do! Hang me.
(
Aside.
I strove with him till I was out of Breath, and had You not come as You did he must have enter'd—but he's in Drink I suppose, or he could not have been guilty of such an Indecorum.
(
Leering at
Felix.
I am amazed!
The Devil never fail'd a Woman at a Pinch, what a Tale has she form'd in a Minute—in Drink quotha, a good Hint, I'll lay hold on't to bring my self off.
(
Aside.
Fie
Don Felix!
No sooner rid of one Broil, but you are commencing another—to assault a Lady with a naked Sword, derogates much from the Character of a Gentleman, I assure You.
(
Counterfeits Drunkenness
)
Who, I assault a Lady—upon Honour the Lady assaulted me Sir, and would have seiz'd this Body Politick upon the King's High-way—let her come out, and deny it if she can—pray Sir command the Door to be open'd, and let her prove me a Lyar if she knows how—I have been drinking right
French
Claret Sir, but I love my own Country for all that.
Ay, ay, who doubts it Sir?—Open the Door
Violante,
and let the Lady come out,—come I warrant thee, he shan't hurt her.
Ay, now which way will she come off!
(
Unlocks the Door
)
come forth Madam, none shall dare to touch your Vail—I'll convey You out with Safety, or loose my Life—I hope she understands me.
(
Aside.
Enter
Isabella
Vail'd, and crosses the Stage.
Excellent Girl!
(
Exit.
The Devil! A Woman! I'll see if she be really so.
(
Offers to follow her.
(
Draws
)
Not a Step Sir till the Lady be past your Recovery.—I never suffer the Laws of Hospitality to be violated in my House Sir.—I'll keep
Don Felix
here till you see her safe out
Violante.
Get clear of my Father, and follow me to the
Terreiro de Passa,
where all Mistakes shall be rectifyed.
(
Aside to
Felix.)
(
Exit
Violante.)
Come Sir, you and I will take a Pipe and a Bottle together.
Damn your Pipe Sir, I won't smoak—I hate Tobacco—Nor I, I, I, I won't drink Sir—No nor I won't stay neither, and how will you help your self?
As to smoaking, or drinking, you have your Liberty, but you shall stay Sir.
(
Gets between him and the Door,
Felix
strikes up his Heels and Exit.
)
Shall I so Sir—But I tell you old Gentleman I am in haste to be married—And so God be with you.
Go to the Devil—In haste to be married quotha, thou art in a fine Condition to be married truly!
Enter a Servant.
Here's
Don Lopez de Pimmentel
to wait on you Senior.
What the Devil does he want? Bring him up he's in pursuit of his Son I suppose.
Enter
Don Lopez.
I am glad to find you at Home,
Don Pedro,
I was told that you was seen upon the Road to——this Afternoon.
That might be my Lord, but I had the Misfortune to break the Wheel of my Chariot, which oblig'd me to return—What is your Pleasure with me my Lord?
I am inform'd that my Daughter is in your House,
Don Pedro.
That's more than I know my Lord, but here was your Son just now as drunk as an Emperor.
My Son drunk! I never saw him in Drink in my Life, where is he pray Sir?
Gone to be married.
Married! To whom? I don't know that he courted any Body.
Nay I know nothing of that—Within there!
(
Enter Servant.
)
bid my Daughter come hither she'll tell you another Story my Lord.
She's gone out in a Chair Sir.
Out in a Chair, what do you mean Sir?
As I say Sir, and
Donna Isabella
went in another just before her.
Isabella!
And
Don Felix
follow'd in another, I overheard them all, bid their Chairs go to the
Terreiro de passa.
Ha! What Business has my Daughter there? I am confounded, and know not what to think.—Within there.
(
Exit.
My Heart misgives me plaguely—Call me a Alguzile, I'll persue them strait.
SCENE
changes to the Street before
Don Pedro
's House.
Enter
Lissardo.
I wish I could see
Flora
—Methinks I have an hankering Kindness after the Slut——We must be reconcil'd.
Enter
Gibby.
Aw my Sol, Sir, but Ise blithe to find yee here now.
Ha! Brother! Give me thy Hand Boy.
Notse fast, se ye me—Brether me ne Brethers, I scorn a Lyar as muckle as a Theife, se ye now, and yee must gang intu
this House with me, and justifie to
Donna Violante
's Face, that she was the Lady that gang'd in here this Morn, se yee me, or the Deel ha my Sol, Sir, but ye and I shall be twa Folks.
Justify it to
Donna Violante
's Face, quotha, for what? Sure you don't know what you say.
Troth de I, Sir, as weel as yee de, therefore come along, and mak no mear Words about it.
(
Knocks hastily at the Door.
)
Why what the Devil do you mean? Don't you consider you are in
Portugal.
Is the Fellow mad?
Fallow! Ise none of yer Fallow, Sir, and gin this Place were Hell, id gar ye de me Justice,
(
Liss. going
)
nay the Deel a Feet ye gang.
(
Lays hold of him, and Knocks again.
)
Enter
Don Pedro.
How now! What makes you knock so loud?
Gin this be
Don Pedro
's House, Sir, I wou'd speak with
Donna Violante
his Doughter.
Ha!
Don Pedro
himself, I wish I were fairly off.
(
Aside.
Ha! What is it you want with my Daughter pray?
An she be your Doughter, an lik yer Honer, command her to come out, and answer for hersel now, and either justify or disprove what this Shield told me this Morn.
So, here will be a fine Piece of Work.
(
Aside.
Why what did he tell you, ha?
Be me Sol, Sir, Ise tell you aw the Truth, my Master got a pratty Lady upon the how de yee call't—
Passa
—Here at Five this Morn, and he Gar me watch her heam—And in Troth I lodg'd her here, and meeting this ill favour'd Theife, se ye me, I spierd wha she was—And he told me her Name was
Donna Violante, Don Pedro de Mendosa's
Daughter.
Ha! My Daughter with a Man abroad at Five in the Morning, Death, Hell, and Furies, by St.
Anthony
I'm undone.
(
Stamps
Wunds Sir, ye put yer Saint intul bony Company.
Who is your Master ye Dog you? Adsheart I shall be trick'd of my Daughter, and my Money too, that's worst of all.
Ye Dog you! Sblead, Sir, don't call Names—I wont tell you wha my Master is, se ye me now.
And who are you Rascal, that knows my Daughter so well? Ha!
(
Holds up his Cane.
)
What shall I say to make him give this
Scots
Dog a good beating?
(
Aside.
)
I know your Daughter,
Senior.
Not I, I never saw your Daughter in all my Life.
(
Knocks him down with his Fist.
)
Deel ha my Sol, Sar, gin ye get no your Carich for that Lye now.
What hoa! Where are all my Servants?
(
Enter Servants on one side,
Colonel, Felix, Isabella,
and
Violante
on the other side.
)
Raise the House in pursuit of my Daughter.
Here she comes,
Senior.
Hey Day! What is here to do?
This is the Loon lik Tik, and lik yer Honor, that sent me Heam with a Lye this Morn.
Come, come, 'tis all well
Gibby,
let him rise.
I am Thunder-struck—and have not Power to speak one Word.
This is a Day of Jubilee,
Lissardo
; no quarelling with him this Day.
A Pox take his Fits.—Egad, these
Brittons
are but a Word and a Blow.
Enter
Don Lopez.
So, have I found your Daughter; then you have not hang'd your self yet I see.
But she is married, my Lord.
Married, Zounds to whom!
Even to your humble Servant, my Lord, if you please to give us your Blessing.
(
Kneels.
Why hark ye Mistress, are you really married?
Really so, my Lord.
And who are you Sir?
An honest
North Britton
by Birth, and a Colonel by Commission, my Lord.
A Heretick! The Devil!
(
Holds up his Hands.
)
She has play'd you a slippery Trick indeed my Lord.—Well my Girl thou hast been to see thy Friend married.—Next Week thou shalt have a better Husband, my Dear.
(
To
Violante.)
Next Week is a little too soon Sir, I hope to live longer than that.
What do you mean Sir? You have not made a Rib of my Daughter too, have you?
Indeed but he has, Sir, I know not how, but he took me in an unguarded Minute,—when my Thoughts were not over strong for a
Nunnery,
Father.
Your Daughter has play'd you a slippery Trick too,
Senior.
But your Son shall be never the better for't my Lord, her twenty Thousand Pounds was left on certain Conditions, and I'll not part with a Shilling.
But we have a certain Thing call'd Law, shall make you do Justice, Sir.
Well we'll try that,—my Lord, much good may it do you with your Daughter in Law.
(
Exit.
I wish you much Joy of your Rib.
(
Exit.
Enter
Frederick.
Frederick,
Welcome!—I sent for thee to be Witness of my good Fortune, and make one in a Country-Dance.
Your Messenger has told me all, and I sincerely share in all your Happiness.
To the Right about
Frederick,
wish thy Friend Joy.
I do with all my Soul;—and Madam I congratulate your Deliverance.—Your Suspicions are clear'd now, I hope
Felix.
They are, and I heartily ask the Colonel Pardon, and wish him Happy with my Sister; for Love has taught me to know, that every Man's Happiness consists in chusing for himself.
After that Rule, I fix here.
(
To
Flora.
That's your Mistake, I prefer my Lady's Service, and turn you over to her that pleaded Right and Title to you to Day.
Chuse proud Fool, I shan't ask you twice.
What say ye now Lass, will ye ge yer Maiden-Head to poor
Gibby.
—What say you, will ye Dance the Reel of Bogye with me?
That I may not leave my Lady,—I take you at your Word.—And tho' our Wooing has been short, I'll by her Example love you dearly.
(
Musick Plays.
)
Hark! I hear the Musick, some Body has done us the Favour to send them, call them in.
A Country-Dance.
Waunds this is bony Musick.—How caw ye that Thing that ye pinch by the Craig, and tickle the Weam, and make it cry
Grum, Grum.
Oh! that's a Guittar,
Gibby.
Now my
Violante,
I shall Proclaim thy Vertues to the World.
No more, let us Thy Sex's Conduct blame,
Since thou'rt a Proof to their eternal Fame,
That
Man
has no Advantage but the Name.
EPILOGUE.
Spoken by Mrs.
SANTLOW.
Written by Mr.
PHILIPS.
CUstom with all our Modern Laws combin'd,
Has given such Power despotick to Mankind,
That We have only so much Vertue now,
As they are pleas'd in favour to allow.
Thus like Mechanick Work we're us'd with Scorn,
And wound up only, for a present Turn;
Some are for having our whole Sex enslav'd,
Affirming we've no Souls, and can't be sav'd;
But were the Women all of my Opinion,
We'd soon shake off this false usurp'd Dominion;
We'd make the Tyrants own, that we cou'd prove,
As fit for other Business as for Love.
Lord! What Prerogative might we obtain,
Could we from Yielding, a few Months refrain!
How fondly wou'd our starving Lovers doat!
What Homage wou'd be paid to Petticoat!
'Twou'd be a Jest to see the change of Fate,
How we might all of Politicks Debate;
Promise, and Swear, what we ne'er meant to do,
And what's still harder,
keep your Secrets too.
Ay Marry!
Keep a Secret
says a Beau,
And sneers at some ill-natur'd Wit below;
But Faith, if we shou'd tell but half we know,
There's many a spruce Young Fellow in this Place,
Would never more presume to show his Face;
Women
are not so weak, whate'er
Men
prate;
How many tip top Beau
's
have had the Fate,
T'enjoy from
Mamma
's Secrets their Estate.
Which if Her early Folly had made known,
He'd rid behind the Coach, that's now His own.
But here, the
Wond'rous Secret
you discover;
A
Lady
ventures for a
Friend,
—a
Lover.
Prodigious! For my part I frankly own,
I'd spoil'd the
Wonder,
and the
Woman
shown.
FINIS.