AN ESSAY UPON Buying
and
Selling OF SPEECHES. IN A LETTER To a Worshipfull Justice of the Peace, Being also A MEMBER of a certain Worshipfull Society of
SPEECH-MAKERS.
LONDON:
Printed for
J. Baker,
and
T. Warner,
in
Pater-Noster-Row.
1716. Price Six-Pence.
AN ESSAY UPON Buying
and
Selling OF SPEECHES.
And't please your Worship.
B EING to Write of Matters of State, and particularly of some Steps lately taken by the Masters in
State Policy,
I could not pass over
your Worship,
who of late has so Distinguish'd your self, as well by Writings and Speeches, as other ways, in Matters of the greatest Moment, and therefore I have Directed this
ESSAY
to your Worship, beseeching your Protection on to an Author who has thus ventur'd to reprove a little, the Pride of the Men of great Talents, like your self; a Practise which you have made L udable by your great Example, when your Worship was pleas'd to Jest with the World a little, and gave your self the Trouble of telling other Men their Faults, and taking no Care of your own.
I shall not presume so much upon
your Worship,
as to make your own Character illustrate the Work I am upon, however aptly it might suit with the Design; there are so many other flagrant Examples before me, that I am under no Necessity of runing the risque of your Displeasure; perhaps your Worship may see your own Picture in the History, as plain as you may desire, and have some reason to express your Satisfaction that it is no plainer.
Your Worship knows, that in the Case of true Satyrs, 'tis
Application makes the Ass,
and when Men see their Crimes touch'd so sensibly, as that it masters their Temper, we say,
It discovers that they are the Men, and that the Coat fits them:
But I doubt not your Worship can bear the brief Reflections made here upon a scandalous Practise, without appropriating any Part of it to your self.
That I may therefore with the more Life represent the Crime of
Buying
and
Selling SPEECHES,
I shall give you the History of
a once famous Person,
who knowing how successful the Antients practised that gainful Trade; with what secure Measures they persued their Game, and how boldly they made their Market of their Interest in Parliament; how effectually they Bantered their Soveraign, when they found it for their Advantage, and how sure they were to be Bought off, as soon as they thought fit to OPEN against the Court; resolv'd, some few Years agoe,
for the raising his declining Fortune, for the satisfying his unsatiable Ambition,
and
for supplying the most unmannaging profuse Inclination,
to try the Experiment upon his Prince: You will see with what detestable Ingratitude he Set Out, with what Insolence and Assurance he Proceeded, and with what just Reproach he Miscarry'd.
This History,
and't please your Worship,
or whether it be a History or no, will, doubtless, sufficiently answer the Design; for it will fully lay open the base Measures taken by such Polititians to get into Employment: It will also lay before
your Worship,
the narrow selfish Ends which many, if not most of those who have formerly made popular Speeches in the Councils and Assemblies of Great Men, pusht at: HOW they aim'd at their private Advantages, all the while they made pretences of pleading the Cause of Justice, and the Peoples Liberty. HOW, when they rail'd at the Mismanagments of Men in Place, the Design was not so much the detecting the Frauds of others in great Posts, in order to have Justice done to the Nation, as for the sake of getting themselves put in their Room.
It will also shew, by the Royal Example of a Wise and truly Great Prince, HOW every Government ought to treat such Creatures as these; with what just Contempt they should disappoint their Expectations, and HOW they should always be above the fear either of their Malice or their Treachery.
I doubt not but when
your Worship
shall have read this Story, you will join in recommending the scandalous Practise of
Buying
and
Selling
of
Speeches,
to every honest Mans Detestation.
The Gentleman I speak of was an
Irishman
by Nation, a Man of a Liberal Education; well Read, especially in that excellent School-Accomplishment, call'd,
Classick Learning:
He had also a competent Stock of Natural Wit; and by keeping good Company, and running some Changes of Fortune, had gone thro' so much Variety as to know the World
prety well,
and the Town
very well;
all which had very much fitted him for Conversation: His Thoughts were Clear, and he had some happy Turns in Expression which gave some Beauty to his Discourse, especially if he did not happen to Talk TOO MUCH which, however, he was a little enclin'd to.
With these Accomplishments he set out in the World, and it was Observ'd, That for some Years before he made himself Popular, he was mightily addicted to make Speeches, for which he once got a Friendly Reproof, and was told,
That If he had not a great care of his Modesty, he would get the general Character of a TALKING FELLOW, the thing which of all Worldly Reproaches, a Wise Man is most affaid of, and most studious to avoid.
His Answer was remarkable it seems, to the Gentleman that was so kind as to give him the Caution,
viz. I have Courage enough to carry me over all that.
The Gentleman only Reply'd,
Cousin, Cousin, you should not call it Courage, call it —
However, for all his — or Courage, call it as you will, he had another more insuperable Obstruction to his Rising in the World: For having neither
Vertue
or
Principles,
and, which was still worse,
No Money
to put him forward in the World, he found it very Difficult to force his Way thro', or,
as I may say,
over the Belly of the Misfortunes which generally attend a Narrow Circumstance; and tho' he had made himself Agreeable amongst some Men of good Sense, and had even got Acquaintance with some above himself, yet all this could not effectually assist him to surmount the Fate of his Family, or to master that great Difficulty,
viz.
of seperating between
Wit
and
Poverty.
With all his Acquirements, he had some Vices, which I must touch at, that I may make his History compleat; but I shall be brief in that ungrateful Part of History: With his
Wit,
(1) he had,
and alas! who is without it,
an unbridled Passion for his own dear Praiee: Impatient to the last degree of the least Reproach, nay, tho' it were just; and yet this Exorbitance did not at all restrain him from laying himself open every Day to the most just Satyr, and exposing himself a thousand ways, by the most ungarded Conduct in the World; but believing it in his power to establish his Character upon the foot of his extraordinary Merit, he thought he had a right to stop the Enquiries of curious Mallice, into those Parts of his Fame which were less Shining, and that it was a saucy unmannerly thing for any Man to say an ill Word of him, however Just, or how much Truth soever there might be in the Fact.
To carry on this Haughty Humour, his first Care was to let the World believe he was a Person of BIRTH as well as Merit, and he Carry'd himself most ridiculously High upon that head: Indeed this was the weakest Step he could ever have taken, because there were some things in his Family, which his Fathers being call'd a
Gentleman
could by no means Ballance; and besides that, as the Poverty of his Fathers Circumstances expos'd his Children to be bred up by the Charity of others, so it happen'd, that those Relations of his which shew'd that Charity, seem'd to have acquir'd the Capasity by some scandalous Methods.
Now tho' Poverty is rather the
Misfortune
than the
Crime
of a Gentleman, yet all Men know, that when there are Circumstances of those kinds in the Rear of a Man's Family, it is not thought the wisest Step that Man can take, to place them in the Front of his own History; because it gives Envy a handle to Speak detractingly: It was this Vanity of his, which caus'd an ill-natur'd Poet of those Times, among other bitter Things, to publish this Distich upon him, occasioned by his unseasonable Boasting of being a
Gentleman Born.
A Gentleman Born, and Charity Bred,
Much Brass in his Face, more than Brains in his Head.
But we pass over his
Pride,
as a thing too common to Men of Wit: Anex't to this, he had the most unhappy Spirit of
Profusion
in his Way of Living, that a Wise Man could be guilty of; and it was the more Scandalous to him, because he had no suitable Fund to justify or support it: This Humour was come to such an extravagant Hight in him, that even Good Fortune it self could not supply it, and this faild not to make him Necessitous even in spight of the Bounty of Princes. This
Poverty
was accompany'd with its constant
Yoak-Fellow, Debt,
which, however, was grown so natural a Grievance to him, that, like a riveted Gout, which when it is grown familiar to us, we take no Physick for, nor are allarm'd at; so to be Dun'd, or Arrested, was no breach of his Tranquility, nor did he ever load himself with the unnecessary Care of getting out of it, thinking that those People he ow'd Money to, had more need to be Uneasy and Thoughtful, about that main Point,
How they should get him out of their Books,
than he, whose much greater Care was, to find Ways and Means to get farther in.
But being by these thing reduc'd all most to his Primitive State,
viz.
Living upon Charity, at length a Friend let him into the Secret,
viz.
That Railing at Princes, making Satyrs upon Great Men, and long Speeches against the Vices of the Publick Management; was the best way that could be thought of, for a Man of his Capacity, to get a start into the World.
That nothing was wanting to a Man of his Capacity, but to be known: That for an Author to be Popular, was to be formidable to Great Men, whose Conduct would very seldom bare a History, or their Vertues a Character; and that therefore, if he once could Establish his Fame in this Town as a
Satyr,
he would find very quickly that he might sell Silence at a good Price, or get enough by one good Speech, to make it worth while to hold his Tongue all his Life after.
Upon this prospect he set out,
he rail'd in Print upon several Occasions, very Magnificently, but unhappily sunk under two Circumstances, (1) He was afraid to own what he Writ, and that kept him too much
Jncog.
In the World: And (2) He strook too low, and fell upon Men not able to buy him off.
But he soon found his Mistake,
and in one flaming half Sheet, he made amends for that Modesty, and fell upon the Greatest Men in the Kingdom: In short, he Damn'd all the
White-Staffs
in the Nation, as Rogues by Employment; and threatn'd what Devilish Things he would Discover of them in the Process of his Studies.
He had no sooner done this, but it was every Mans Business to enquire who this TALKING Fellow was: There is seldom much difficulty in seeking those People that desire to be found; the Author was of easy access, and being found, Tasted the first Fruits of the good Advice given him, and was let know, that one of the greatest
Staffs
in the Nation had a mind to Serve him. Immediately we receiv'd a full and true Account,
That a Great Man with a White-Staff might be very Honest; that there was a White-Staff in the World who eminently Merited to be esteem'd; and whose Character it was
"to be Frugal of the Publick Money, and Prodigal of his own."
This was the first Attempt he made, according to the Advice given him; and having met with Success, he was Encouraged afterwards to go on in a more publick Manner: In a course of Time he receiv'd some Civilities from another Person bearing a
Staff,
and in hopes of more, was heard to say,
That he had entertain'd indeed some hard Thoughts of that Gentleman, but that he found he was possess'd of a Genius, Born to Conquer Universal Prejudice, and that
he was afterwards resolv'd to Number himself among his Friends.
But finding every Man not alike apprehensive of the Power of a sharp Pen, and that he knew not how to make himself fear'd there, as he expected; his good Opinion abated in a little time.
In the mean time the Soveraign at that time Reigning, influenc'd by the first Person mention'd, had heaped accumulated Royal Favours upon this
Irish
Creature. But after the Possession of them a reasonable time, the Vallue of them seem'd to abate in his Thought, tho' the Revenue of them abated nothing in his Pocket, for Favours to some Men appear with a different aspect, and sink always in their Magnitude after they have been long enjoy'd.
It was not for want of Application, or of assurance
to Crave,
that the Mortal Wight crep't no higher; but that Age had its share of Penetration in some Things, as it had of Mistakes in others; and he was, perhaps sooner than he thought was decent, observ'd to distinguish his dear self from his attachment to any Interest or Party, and therefore he thought fit very early to show himself to be what it seems he thought it was best, to be in all Governments
viz. a Malecontent.
We must not say,
For we must do him Justice,
that his Passion for the Character of a
Malecontent,
was deriv'd from his ill Nature, for we give that Tribute to his Immorality, that he was never Cinical or Morose in his Temper; But that his Politicks brought him into those Measures, founded upon the mistaken Notion of his own Merit, which he always had Prudence enough to keep up an Opinion of, tho' not Modesty enough to confine it.
Upon this Foundation it was, that he was not easily brought to acknowledge himself oblig'd; all ways pretending to have it in his Power, not only to make himself useful, but necessary to the Publick; so that their employing, and supplying him, was all ways to be esteem'd as a Testimony, not of the Soveraign's Good-will, so much as Good Sence; and of their being able to Judge who, or who not, it was their Interest to be Bountiful to.
But the Consequences of this shew'd more plainly the Truth of what is here asserted; for no sooner did he find that the Soveraign once dar'd to run the Risque of his Displeasure, but he made no difficulty to shew it, and that in the most disobliging Way imaginable; Insulting the Crown he Serv'd, and carrying it in such a Manner, as evidently shew'd he doubted not by appearing against them, to be bought off at a good Price.
But the Soveraign not being in need of his Service, or afraid of his Power, ventur'd his Indignation; and forbore to Purchase what it was well known could not be Retain'd any longer, than the Royal Bounty should flow in a manner equal to his unbounded Profusion.
During this Dilemma of his Affairs, there happen'd a great Revolution in the Government where he liv'd, the Crown being Transpos'd by that Providence, in whom the Original Right of disposing all Things remains, from one Head to another; and that Transposition giving a round turn to the Administration, even from one Extream almost to another, it gave him also a new Rise, and put him into a Posture to shew himself again: He was Politician enough to act his part in the first appearance of Things, and to look like other Men: He had been taught to Cloth himself with such shapes as best might serve his grand Design; and to this purpose fail'd not to make all the disobliging Steps which he had taken in the preceeding Reign, pass for Merit in the next; and happening to have the good Fortune to fall now into the Hands of a Prince of Immense Beneficence, that knew how to engage Ingenious Spirits beyond their Power of return, and Rewarded in proportion to his own Bounty, rather than the Subjects Character, he fail'd not to meet with an acceptance as much beyond his Expectations, as those Expectations were above his Merit.
This set him at the first dash above all his Rivals, and would have Establish'd his Fame, if it had not, to his great Misfortune, set him also above himself.
But as nothing is more rare, than for one Born in a low Station, to know how to move in just proportion to a more extended Orb, so the Velocity of his Motion in his new Sphere was so unequal to himself, and to what he ought to have been, that it cast him immediately back into the same Disorder that he was in before: I have hinted just now, that the Soveraigns greatness of Spirit caus'd him to measure his Bounty by his own Magnificence, rather than by the bare Desert of the Object, and this was in him a Test of an extensive Goodness: But our
Irish
Man run into the contrary Extream, and measuring his own Merit by his Princes Bounty, he fell into the most gross and most offensive Absurdity in Nature; for as it fill'd him with unsufferable Arrogance, by which he became intollerable to his Friends, so it push't him upon that most scandalous Folly of clashing with himself, fixing a stated Contradiction between the Days of his Humiliation, and those of his Exhaltation.
Being come this length, there wanted nothing to compleat the ruin of his Character, and make him perfectly Contemptible, but that he should think, as formerly he thought,
viz.
That all Rewards which were not equall to his Extravagance, were Extravagantly short of his Merit, and so bring him to Treat his new Benefactor as he had done his former, I mean with Ingratitude.
Fate that had determin'd this Mushroom the due Punishment of Upstarts, fail'd not to bring this to pass also, by the following Circumstances, with which I shall conclude his History.
By the Favour and Bounty of his Prince, of which mention is made, he was so far recommended to the Subject,
Or, which if Fame lies not, was part of the Case,
made Capable to recommend himself, that upon an Election of a Parliament, he was chosen to sit in the House of Commons, for there were new Parliaments frequently call'd in those Days, as well as in these. He was no sooner entred into the House, but even the first Day, as Authors relate, he began to make Speeches, and Flattring Panegyricks. Persuing thus the Dictates of his first Instructor most exactly, for it seems he was told, That in that place was the best Market for GOOD SPEECHES, and that he might take it for Granted, that to make a long Speech against the Publick Mannagement, was the only way to get a share in it, according to Mr.
And. Marvill.
That Parliament Men should rail at the Court,
And get a Preferment immediately for't.
Upon this Principle the unhappy Polititian took his Measures; he had been Treated, as I have said, so far above his capasity of Deserving, that had not most People known his Character, and that he would soon let his Soveraign see his Bounty was ill bestow'd, he would almost have arriv'd to the Dignity of being Envied: But that unbounded Spirit of Profusion, which was however a Judgment upon his Ambition, soon made way thro' all that his Princes Bounty had bestowed, and he grew Necessitous in the midst of a Sufficency for a Lord. Three times the God-like Goodness of his Prince bore with the Infirmity, believing it might be the remains of former Misfortunes, and with no less than Five Hundred Pounds at a time, if History does not mistake, Recruited the
Wity Extravagant.
But it was all in vain, it was a Stream, not a Bucket, an Ocean, not a Stream that must be sufficient to supply the Out-let of his Vanity; and that Wisdom which was as inseperable from his Soveraign's just Character as his Bounty, dictated, that in charity to the Lunacy of this Mans Temper, he must shut up his Expectation, within the Bounds of what he had in Possession; and that it was the kindest Thing that could be done for him, to let him know, it was in vain for him to Ask, who had already Surfeited.
His Soveraign had almost as good have declar'd him a Traitor, as told him,
That his Account of Merit was Ballanc'd by past Favours;
for his
Merit
being exhausted as well as the
Money,
it follows of course, that Ways and Means were to be found out to supply the Last, whether the First were concern'd or no.
The Devil, who, they say, is the cunningest Fellow at his Trade in the World, finding the Mans Nature Wicked, and his Circumstances Favourable, fail'd not to take hold of the advantage, and presented him with an Opportunity, as he fraudulently told him, to raise his Fortunes; Nor did he long stick at the Motion, tho' at the expence of his Vertue.
In a Word, the Advice
Sathan
administred, was upon the old Foot,
Oppose the Court, and make your self Necessary, then they'l Buy you.
Tho' the Face of this Man was as Case-hardn'd as the very Mettal it self which we call so; yet it is related in his Favour, That he started at the first Proposal, and told the Devil,
It was damn'd Ungrateful,
that
he was a Gentleman Born,
and
he could not do any Thing so base;
he did not add,
Get thee behind me Sathan,
because there was more Business between them to Treat of; but he gave him a very handsome Repulse it must be confess'd.
But
Sathan
is not used to be
said nay.
The Devil knew his Inside, better perhaps, than he did himself, and Banter'd him upon his Nicety;
A Pox o' your Modesty,
says old Belzebub,
is it any more than you have done by all the Benefactors ever you had in your Life? And besides,
says the old Prevaricator,
have you not the best Plea in the World for it?
(viz.)
NECESSITY. Prethee,
Dick, says he,
try the other Experiment, can you
Starve?
You must do one or tother, that you know, therefore Consider of it.
I do not find that History has Recorded the whole Dialogue between them, nor how
the Devil
they made the Bargain. But this is Recorded as a certain Truth,
That he came into the Proposal.
Now to cut short the Story, for the best part of it is behind, the generous Prince defeated both the Devil and the Traytor, for as soon as he saw his Goodness abus'd, he was so far from stooping to gratify the Wicked Design, and to draw him back by more Gifts, as he expected; that he contemn'd the Impotence of his Malice; with-drew his Favours; and Condemn'd the Wretch to
Rail on.
He continu'd a while according to Sentence, till he was Hiss'd at, and P—d upon by all wise Men, his Friends asham'd of him, and his Enemies above him, and that he laid himself below the dignity of
Lampoon.
In this condition, Heaven in Mercy to him, clear'd up his Understanding, and he became a mighty Penitent; but as it is not in Man to answer for Sincerity, and no Man car'd to venture upon one that had been always otherwise till then: The compassionate Prince Pardon'd him, gave him a Pension for Bread, and laid him up as an Invalid.
THIS HISTORY,
and't please your Worship,
I was willing to lay before you, that I might have your Worship's Opinion, whether it is not worth while to bring it upon the Stage
in Terrorem,
to Deter Incendaries from making Speeches against their Masters, and against their Principles, with a design to get up higher in their Favour, tho' they have already been Rewarded in a manner, which it was never in their Power to deserve.
I doubt not, but if your Worship casts your Eye back upon the Histories of those Times, for it is many Years since those things were done, you will find I have not wrong'd the Memory of the Person, and that you will be satisfy'd great part of the Account is true in Fact.
Now, I most humbly beseech your Worship to give your aid and assistance, in crying down this Unchristian Practice in all its parts; and let the World know from your Authentick Hand, how justly the Vice of
Speech-making
is abhor'd by all honest Men; but observe, if you please, that I do not condemn
Speech-making
in general as such, for that may be very useful in its place, but making Speeches against Principles, and against Benefactors, on purpose to appear considerable, and to be drawn off again by a frail Argument which I am asham'd to name.
I know your Worship abhors these Things; and tho' fame lay's it to your Charge, that you spake somewhat after this sort lately, upon the Subject of
Shewing Mercy,
&c. yet as common Fame is a false Jilt, and has long since lost her Reputation, I assure your Worship, I shall give no credit to her Words in that Case.
Besides, Sir, I cannot entertain a Thought, that you, who understands what belongs to Humane Mercy so much, having wanted it so often in Civil Affairs, tho' not in Criminal; could open your Mouth,
unless Paid for it beyond the ordinary Price,
for the shewing Mercy to those who are no ways the proper objects of Mercy, either of God or Man.
I need not tell you, Sir, what
(I hear)
you very nobly insisted upon,
(viz.)
How Kings should imitate the King of Kings, in that Superiour Attribute of shewing Mercy, and how glorious it was for Princes to come up to that Sublime Pattern: But as our
Jacobites
have enlarged upon that Point to an extreme hight,
higher to be sure than your Worship ever intended it,
I know your Judgment must joyn with the Kings in this, That it may be his Majesty's Duty to imitate the Merciful God of Heaven in Forgivness, but that we no where find, that any King ought to go beyond that Sacred Pattern:
For example,
our Religion teaches us,
That if we confess, and forsake, we shall find Mercy;
our Rubrick says,
Spare thou them, O God, which confess their Faults.
But neither does God himself Pardon any, but the Penitent, neither can any Man, but on the highest Presumption, so much as Pray for Pardon for himself, or any one else, but on the Supposition of Repentance and Reformation.
Now,
and't please your Worship,
we have not yet heard of one of these Prisoners, or Condemn'd People that confess
their Fault;
for your Worship knows, there is a vast difference between confessing
the Fact,
and confessing
the Fault,
and those who would have the King shew Mercy to the first, without the last, are for having the King go farther,
your Worship knows,
than ever God Almighty himself went yet.
It is most certain therefore, that your Worship was for having the King be Merciful to those who by a Penitent acknowledgment of their Crime, as well as of the Fact, rendred themself Objects worthy of Compassion; for otherwise it is most certain, your Worship was for having the King Pardon those, who we are sure God himself will not Pardon.
All these things I thought, for your Worship's Service, to Communicat to you, that you may make such use thereof, for the Conviction of our Mercenary
Speech-makers
of this Age, as to your Worship in your great Wisdom shall seem meet.
I am, Your Worship's most Humble and obedient Servant. A D.
ADENDA.
IT has often been Complain'd of as a Grievance, that our Court have formerly by Bribery, Pensions, Preferment,
with other Arts,
form'd their Interest among their People: But the present Complaint is the reverse of that Practice,
viz.
The Subjects, by a new fashion'd Method of Chagrin, Raillery, and Discontent, forcing their Interest in the Publick.
Nothing is more Certain, than that for Fifty Years past, this has been the growing Practise of the Times: It was at first, indeed, a
State Secret,
and esteem'd to be a Secret of great value; few understood it; and therefore when we found the Polititians clamorous and loud one Week, and as silent as Mutes the next, we used to be Surpriz'd at it, till old Colonel
Birch,
in the Days of King
Charles
II. broke into it, and discover'd the Trick. The Case was thus,
An Eminent Member had, for some Years, made himself known by his leading Interest in the House; He was a Man of Sense, a Patron of Liberty, warm against Favourites; had made himself very popular in Parliament by his Zeal against the Popish Plot; constantly oppos'd giving Money without redress of Grievances; a mighty
Habeaus Corpus-Man;
an Enemy to
French
Whores,
French
Counsellors, &c. And this Warmth continued till the Time that famous Attempt was made in the House, call'd,
The Bill of Exclusion.
But his Friends were strangely surpriz'd, when after so long Experience of his Forwardness, they found on a sudden, he had not one Word to say, no not in that popular Cause,
of the Excluding a Popish Successor;
neither did he meet at the Clubs as usual, where those things were ordinarily Concerted: It happen'd once, that upon a Committee, where they were altogether upon that famous Debate, an old Member who sat next him, press'd him to give his Opinion, but he declin'd it, and the old Member still urging him,
Let him alone,
says Col.
Birch, he has receiv'd HUSH-MONEY.
The Jest took,
the Word became Proverbial, and it grew very Publick; but for all that, the Court, who found their Account in it,
continued the Practise:
King
Charles
II. who lov'd a good Turn of Wit, made that Word his
Common Place
for the Occasion; and if they found a troublesom Man begin to lead a Party, and make warm Speeches, &c. it was the Word presently at Court,
he must have some
Hush-Money.
But as this was a Practise scandalous enough upon the Court, and made use of in a Way most particularly mischievous to the Nation, so when once it became Publick, the Country Gentlemen turn'd the Tables upon the Ministry, and made it
a bite upon the Court;
For as soon as they found that the Court, to cover their Designs, and keep the People Easie, were very willing to stop the Mouth of every Complainer with
Hush-Money,
and that to be a
Malecontent
of Note, was a certain Step to advance a Man's Interest. This
Hush-Money
became a Plague upon the Court, they turn'd all
Malecontents
on purpose to be Bought off: Yet such was the Conduct of that Court, so much were they afraid to let their Practises be expos'd, and so little were they able to bear a Plain-Dealer, that tho' they knew they were Imposed upon to the last degree, yet they were oblig'd to wink, and let it go on, having no other way to stop the Clamours of the People, but to buy off the Complainer; and this grew a dreadful Rent-Charge upon them at last; especially if it be true, as some have said, that it cost King
Charles
II. Four Hundred Thousand Pounds a Year in
Hush-Money,
to stop the Mouths of
Parliament-Men.
But if this was a Satyr upon the
Court,
whose business it was to stand still and see their Pockets pickt, that they might at the same Time,
by the help of those Mercenary Creatures,
get an Opportunity to pick the Nations Pocket of three times as much; Yet it was much more scandalous upon the People concern'd, who, by selling themselves to the Government, divested themselves of the Power of serving their Country; and like a Souldier, who in the heat of Action quits his Post, making a breach in the Line of Battle, at which the Enemy breaks in, and destroys the whole Body, so these Men made a monstrous Breach in the Constitution, at which
Tyrany, Arbitrary Government, Persecution of Protestants,
and at last,
a Popish Successor
broke in, to the endangering the
Liberties
and
Religion
of
Great Britain.
It cannot but be remember'd very well by many, how Merry King
Charles
II, used to make himself with those
Hush-Money-Men; 'Ds Fish,
says the King one Day, upon seeing the Account for Secret Service,
I believe they'l go Halves with me at last.
At another Time, when an Eminent Member had made a flameing Speech against giving more Money, and it was proposed to get him off,
Vijs et Modis,
as before;
Well,
said the King,
I have heard of Buying and Selling of Places, but I never heard of Buying and Selling of SPEECHES before.
But the King fell out with 'em at last; for after all they had got of the King, and after all the King had got of the Nation by them, at last the King would Give no more to Them, and then they would Give no more to Him; upon which they were sent home, Curst and Expos'd, as they deserv'd; of whom the famous
A. Marvel
has these two Lines,
But thanks to the Wh— who made the K— Dogged,
For Giving no more, the Rogues were Prorogued.
But let us now bring this down to the present Time, that the folly and absurdity of this
Speech-making
may appear; and this indeed is the Reason of reciting the scandalous History of the Days past; What can those Gentlemen promise to themselves? Or what do they propose? Is there a King now Reigning that wants such Mercenaries, that fears their Tongues, or can stoop to entertain them in His Pay? Sure they cannot have such scandalous Notions in their Minds, of a Government of which themselves have said so many fine Things before!
Let us examine a little the Circumstances of their new
Phaenomena,
which have appear'd so lately in a
certain Place,
and whence the Original of their Motion may be drawn: It is evident they are not
Tories;
they are not so either Simply, or by Composition; neither Naturally or Politically; the Air they have put upon their Conduct, has so little of Art in it, that even the
Torys
themselves say,
It has not Disguise enough in it to do their Cause any Service, or the
Whigg
Cause any Harm;
So that it is perfectly Impotent, and serves for no other End, but to expose the People that put it on, and give the Hissing Part of the By-standers an opportunity to Divert themselves.
But are they
Whiggs
then! Is it possible that
Whiggs
can be found making Speeches for Mercy to Rebells! Who never yet were Penitent enough to acknowledge their rising in Arms against King
George
was a Rebellion! Who strove to obtain their Pardon by a Party Spirit! And make a Faction for Mercy, against Prudence! Can this be done by a Friend to King
George,
and as such! It is impossible. But if it be True, and the Speakers are
Whiggs,
they must either have renounced the Name of
Whigg,
and be what, as
Whiggs,
they always esteem'd Scandalous, nay, Infamous, I mean
Jacobits,
and Friends to
Jacobites;
or it must be from some Private Spirit, some Parl—t Policy, such as selling of Speeches was in former Days, getting
Hush-Money,
and the like.
Again, Upon what Principle can any Thing that calls it self a
Whigg,
or is attach'd to the Interest of King
George,
oppose, at such a Time as this, the passing of a Bill, which is the only step to put an entire End to the Spirit of Rebellion among us, the only thing that can entirely extinguish the hopes and expectations of the
Jacobites,
by removing that one, and only Difficulty, upon which alone the expectation of reviving the Interest of Rebellion did depend, whether this be the Affair of
Trienneal
Parliaments, or any other Thing.
Nay, tho' there should be some Niceties of Priviledge, or any thing else, which at another time it would be very rational and commendable to Insist upon; yet is it absolutely necessay for a Person to dispence with some Laws which are justly esteem'd the
Bulwark
of our
Liberties;
and shall we not dispence with Circumstances? Shall we stand upon Niceties and Punctilios, to the hazard of the whole Nation? Shall we pass over the Great, and not abate the Small? How strangely Nice must these Men be, and how contrary to common Prudence do they Act? Do not Men blow up Houses when the Street is on Fire, to save the remainder of the Town? Is the Dammage to a few a sufficient Argument to prevent it? Was ever any Man affraid it should be made a Precedent, to blow up other Peoples Houses when there is not the same Necessity, or when there was no Fire at all?
If a
Tory
had made use of such Arguments against the
Habeas Corpus
Bill, or the
Trienneal,
&c. we should not have thought it strange; but for
Whiggs
to act thus! It must be upon some meaner, lower Principle than those
who deserve the Name of Whiggs
always acted from; and altho' these Sheets shall not undertake to charge any Modern Gentleman with Speaking upon the foot of Mercenary Expectations, either within the House, or without it; yet as
Buying
and
Selling
of
Speeches,
receiving of
Hush-Money,
&c. has been Practices recent in our Memory; and by which the Soveraign has been abused, and the Nation betray'd; 'tis hard to avoid the injection of such things to our Thoughts, when we are at a loss to find any other probable Reason for the extraordinary Measures of some People, whose Actions and Speeches we could always till now account for.
What shall we say then to these
Speech-makers?
Shall we speak to them as
Whiggs?
Why even in that predicament they appear most Ridiculous. Let us refer them back to some of their own Speeches, when they were in their Senses, and let them be judges for themselves, after all they have said of King
George,
of his
standing by his Friends; doing Justice to his Enemies, and fearing no body;
let us ask now, whether they can ever believe, that his Majesty can be capable of any apprehension from the present Grimace they put upon their Conduct? And that their Speeches, in Opposition to his just Measures, can have any other Effect upon the King, than to give his Majesty a needfull Knowledge of the Men, and a just Contempt of their Designs?
Besides their own former Speeches, let them Read Sir
Richard Steel
's Letter to the Pope, and see there the just Character which he gives, not of the Kings Person only, but of his Administration: Let them look over Mr.
L—mer
's Speech upon the Impeachments, where he is pleas'd to say,
That the Wisdom and Steddiness of his Majesty's Government, have retriev'd the Honour and Reputation of his Kingdom:
Let these things speak the Absurdity and Folly of those who, being at the Bottom Embark't solidly, by Principle and Inclination, for the Kings Interest, can yet be so Mercenary as to put on the Countenance of
Malecontent,
upon the base Notions of making themselves Necessary; and this in a Reign too, where they ought to know better than to think it can be made to answer so mean a Design.
Let those People look into the Conduct of the present Administration, and see whether there is any thing done, or doing, that it is in their Power to expose; or that the Ministers are at all in their reach: Let them Remember his Majesty gives no
Hush-Money,
there are no Court Pensions to complain of but what are known, and the Court has chosen to let the World know that some Men have been rewarded beyond their Merit, rather than to have them think they have had more Rewards than are known.
To what end than do Men, who have shar'd so much of the Royal Bounty, turn their Backs upon their Principles? And open their Mouths at their Benefactors? Is it that they think by this Method to get more, when they are even asham'd to ask upon any other Foundation? It cannot be! Nothing can be so Base! It must certainly be that they are Sensible they have been too well us'd, and can no longer in Conscience deceive a Prince of so much Benignity, but like Murderers, who are hurry'd by their own Terrors to discover themselves, they find themselves necessitated to tell the King he has been mistaken in them;
That
they are of the Number of those who no Bounty can bind, nor Favour oblige to be Faithful, unless they have a continual flux of Supplies, sufficient to gratify the necessary Avarice of an unbounded Expence, occasion'd by the Practice of all manner of scandalous Vices;
That
they are Servants who will never be Paid, and would be always Receiving;
that
their Services are small and few, and that it would be very necessary to let the Nation see they can go on without such Men as these;
That
the Market for long Speeches is over, and that having now expos'd themselves sufficiently, they are grown perfectly Useless either to one side or other, and are,
at last,
arriv'd to that meanest condition a publick Man can ever come to,
(viz.) to be neither Valued or Feared.
FINIS.