THE PASQUINADE. WITH NOTES VARIORUM.
BOOK the FIRST.
Ay, 'tis a Crust, a lasting Crust for the rogues, I would be glad to see the proudest of them all but dare to nibble at this,—if they do, it will rub their Gums for them I promise you.
BAYES.
LONDON
: Printed and Sold by C. MOUNTFORT, near the
Royal Exchange.
M,DCC,LIII. [Price One Shilling.]
THE PASQUINADE. BOOK the FIRST.
Pasquinade.
] As it is highly necessary that every writer, who publishes his works for the instruction and emolument of the publick, should write in such a manner as to be understood by those of a common capacity, as well as by those, who, as the poet says,
— Peruse a work of wit
With the same spirit that its author writ;
Or, if he does not, as it is highly becoming the scholiast to make them familiar to such readers, I should think myself very unworthy to illustrate the following poem, did I pass over the
name
itself; which, tho' some Critics may understand, I am persuaded many do not.—Know then, that
Pasquin
was
Cobler,
who work'd in his stall at
Rome,
about the beginning of the fifteenth Century; and, being a fellow of ready wit and a satyrical disposition, the people flock'd about him to hear him rally and talk politics, at which he was very expert. After his decease, the statue of a Gladiator being dug up near his stall, it was set up and call'd
Pasquin
; the
wits,
his pupils, taking it in their heads, in honour to their
dead
master, to stick their lampoons, satires and libels thereon; all which were termed
Pasquinades.
If thou doubtest, reader, whether this poem was ever hung on the said statue, if thou take a walk to a certain corner of the palace of
Ursines
in
Rome,
thou may'st enquire further concerning it.
O Chief in verse! O ev'ry Muses' care!
Line 1.
O chief in verse.
] The great personage here addressed, from what we may gather from the following lines, can be no other than Dr.
John Hill, Acad. Rege Scient. Burd.
&c.
Soc.
and
Inspector General
of Great Britain.
Pride of each mortal and immortal Fair!
Whether enraptur'd with
Urania
's charms,
Lines 3, 4.
Whether enraptur'd, &c.
] These lines seem to hint at the amours of Mr.
Inspector,
who has so often celebrated, in his works, his
Chloes, Daphnes,
and
Amandas,
all Ladies of quality, whose favours, some have been bold enough to say, have been of the same nature with those he received from the Muses; purely imaginary; but we presume not to assert this opinion, 'till we have some authority to suppose those Ladies as chaste as the Sisters of
Parnassus.
Or sunk in
Chloe,
or
Amanda
's arms;
Whether eternal Bays thy temples grace,
Or thy lac'd
night-cap
well supplies their place;
Line 6.
Or thy lac'd night-cap.
] A night-cap, ornamented with Brussels lace, which this Enamorato used to wear on particular occasions, when honour'd in the embraces of
Quality.
ANON:
Whether with
Goddess,
or with earthly
Qual,
You saunter down
Parnassus,
or the
Mal
;
Line 8.
You saunter down.
] Alluding to a
Je ne scais quoi
in the carriage of this Gentleman, by some virulent writers, called an
indolent waddle,
by others,
a janty Air.
—Vide
Libitina fine conflictu, Woodward's Letter, &c.
Or, in Philosophy profoundly wise,
You pore intent with microscopic eyes,
Line 10.
You pore intent with microscopic eyes.
] From the contradiction this passage seems to imply to that of another great author and philosopher, who says,
Why has not Man a microscopic Eye?
It might possibly be concluded that some mistake had happened, either in transcribing or printing this line; and that our author intended it,
thro' microscopic eyes,
meaning the eyes, or the glasses of his Microscope: But, if any credit may be given to this Gentleman's discoveries in natural philosophy, we must conclude he himself is possess'd of eyes infinitely more discerning than the rest of the Virtuosi; having found out such animalculae, and their method of existence, as no other Philosopher ever did, or ever will, tho' assisted by all the helps of the most improved Microscope, unless possess'd of the same kind of eyes: The visual rays to which are so ductile, that they not only are directed from real objects, but from
no
objects at all, —which accomplishment alone should sufficiently establish this great man as the prince of Philosophers, and empower him to correct and censure the researches of others: As we must own the eye that can
see
what is
invisible,
is certainly more able to explore the secrets of nature than that which can see only
what is to be seen.
—I find no reason therefore to vary the reading in the text.
New worlds discover in a
Catharine pear,
Line 11.
New worlds discover in a Catharine pear.
] Among the philosophic researches hinted in the preceding annotation, take the following, made by this Gentleman on a rotten pear.—
It was but a very small portion of the covered furface of the pear that could be brought within the area of the Microscope, but this appeared, under its influence, a wide extent of territory; varied with hills and lawns, with winding hollows, open plains, and shadowy thickets.
INSPECTOR.
A very material objection indeed arises against our author, in respect that he calls it a
Catharine Pear
; as this philosopher in his preamble to the experiment, expressly says, it was a
French
Pear, in which we cannot think him mistaken, as he took such particular notice of the said pear; for, says he, it was cut by a person very fond of Pears, who out of that excessive fondness eat a thin slice, and reserved the rest to another opportunity: That he cried
Pah!
at seeing it again when rotten, and that it was cut at the largest end.—
Vide Inspector
332. So that from these circumstances we must remark this as an error in our author.
Or monsters animate in sour small beer,
Serenely trace their
fundamental breath,
Line 13.
Fundamental breath.
] Alluding to an animal, which this profound enquirer into nature discover'd, whose organs of respiration are situated in its fundament; and which continually swims with its head under water, and its tail above, for fear of being drown'd. A very singular kind of creature it must be own'd; and it is presum'd a very clean one: As to no other part of its body are assign'd the offices which we should readily suppose were those of the part mentioned.
Vide Inspector,
393.
In this passage our author, like other great writers, it must be confess'd, doth not pay the strictest regard to historical truth: As the monster, here spoken of, is not said to be engender'd in
small beer
; but was the polite inhabitant of
Kensington.
Whilst thy grim Lion grinds thy foes to death:
Line 14.
Whilst thy grim Lion grinds thy foes to death.
] Our author seems here to have an eye to a very curious piece of history, in the
London Daily Advertiser,
of
January
8, 1752, which runs thus:
We hear from the
Bedford Coffee-House
in
Covent-Garden,
that an unhappy Gentleman of that neighbourhood, having yesterday morning in wantonness, thrust his head into the mouth of the Lion that resides there, felt the jaws unexpectedly close upon him: On this, enquiring with a hollow voice, whether he shook his tail, and being answered in the affirmative, he begged the by-standers to pray for him. A terrible crash was immediately after heard, and notwithstanding the uncommon resisstance of the skull, it is credibly reported, that the teeth met through it. He was immediately after conveyed home, but his Surgeons are afraid the wounds will prove mortal.
Dr. HILL.
It is not material to consider how much
wit
or
truth
is in this paragraph, if it serves to give the public a great idea of the said Lion.
O let my humble verse attention claim;
Nor deem the friend beneath the Poet's name.
Blest in thy own
inspectatorial
stile,
Line 17.
Inspectatorial stile.
] A manner of writing peculiar to this great man, which has so often been imitated by the superficial writers of the present age; and which our author seems to speak of as inimitable. The reader, if any such there be, who is unacquainted with this stile, will conceive some idea of it from the following specimens. —Speaking of a little rivulet or ditch, he says;
The translucent waves coursed one another down the light declivity, with an inexpressibly pleasing variety of form, and a confused but very soft noise of bubbling, lashing, and murmuring,
among, against,
and
along
the inequalities and meanders of its rough sides, and various hollows.
Of a pond, he says,—
The surface of the bason was a polished plane, unfurrowed by the least motion, unruffled by the gentlest breeze; the setting sun threw a glow of pale splendor over one half of it, the rest was silent shade
.
On weeds,
&c.
gather'd to one corner of a ditch. —
The fresh breeze had blown together into this part of the watery expanse, whatever floated
on or near
its surface
. — How philosophically exact
among, against,
and
along.—on or near.
At the same time how poetical and florid!
Translucent waves, Meanders, gentlest breeze, the glow of splendor
and
expanse.
Hence reader, if thou hast perchance seen only the faint imitations of this beautiful stile, thou may'st conceive a more correct idea of what our author here so pathetically laments the want of. Vide
Inspectors
311, 393, 429.
You nobly scorn to hear the numbers toil,
To see them fetter'd down to mood and tense,
And groan beneath the infirmity of Sense,
Void of Politeness, Elegance and Ease.
Ah! what is
Meaning
when compar'd with these!
How then shall I for thee presume to sing,
For thee, borne high on Fame's tenacious wing,
Line 24.
Fame's tenacious wing.
] In this line appears our author's commendable spirit of modesty in imitating great men. This expression being evidently taken from the motto on the
Lord Mayor
's Coach.
Pennâ metuente solvi. Vide
State Coach of Sir
Crisp Gascoine:
Also
Horace
's Ode to
Crisp. Sallust.
Lost to thy soft, harmonious, flowing lay,
And curs'd to
mean
whene'er I
sing
or
say.
Line 26.
And curs'd to mean whene'er I sing or say.
] Our author here seems, whether ironically or no, I leave to abler critics, to complain of a misfortune which he fears will prevent his success in poetry, for no less a critic and poet than the great Mr.
Dryden,
says;
He who servilely creeps after sense
Is safe, but ne'er can reach to excellence.
Hear then, ye daughters of immortal Jove!
By the soft vows of your
Inspector
's love,
If not, too jealous of each other's flame,
You slight the lover for a rival's claim;
Or, if his gallantry superior charms,
And all the nine, in concert, fill his arms,
Like his familiar
Daphnes
here below,
Blessing at once the Poet and the Beau;
Hear and support me in your fav'rite's cause,
Inspire my song, and crown me with applause.
I sing dire faction and the cruel strife
Of Bards that live, and Bards that write for life;
Line 38.
Of Bards that live and Bards that write for life.
] I am appriz'd that this line may be taken in a varied sense. —Some may imagine, that by a man's
writing for life
is intended his writing for a
livelihood
; and that by Bards that
live
are meant those who live
independent
of writing; as it is expressed by this line.
These live to write, and those must write to live.
A kind of distinction which seems to have been handed down from that immortal Philosopher, Lord Chancellor
Bacon
; who is said to have complained to King
James
the First, lest he should be reduced to
study
to
live,
rather than
live
to
study.
I cannot however think this our author's drift; but that by
writing for life,
he meant,
writing as hard as one can drive,
and that he had in his eye, that part of the old ballad of the
Wife of Bath,
When
Adam
heard her say these words,
He ran away for Life.
In which case, as
Adam,
according to the tradition, is in Paradise, or Heaven, he could not be supposed to run to preserve his life; so that it is clear our author intended only to convey the eagerness of the pursuit of those Bards, who, had the measure allow'd, he might have said,
Write
AWAY
for Life.
Of Fidlers, Coxcombs, Harlequins and Play'rs,
Physicians, Parsons, Fools, and dancing Bears.
Line 40.
Dancing Bears.
] The reader is not to take this expression literally, or think the poet celebrates real,
four legg'd Bears
; or that he had any view to the famous
Ursi domestici mirabili,
that yielded the
Inspector
an opportunity of being so very witty last summer, or to those gentle Bruins that now expose themselves by dancing hornpipes in the streets. It is plain he intends no more by the word
Bear,
than as Sir ALEXANDER DRAWCANSIR has defin'd that appellation, in his compleat Modern Glossary.
Bear,—a Country Gentleman, or any creature on
TWO
legs that does not make a good bow.
COVENT-GARDEN JOURNAL, No. 4.
Neither doth our author proceed only on
precedent,
having also philosophical authority. For
Carolus Linnaeus Suecus,
whom I must own I have never read,
The first of natural philosophers, as the world with justice stiles him, and as he calls himself
Dioscorides Secundus
in his
Systema Naturae,
declares, that the Man and Bear differ only as two species of the same genus. He establishes in that work one of his Genera, under the name of
Anthropomorphae,
that is, creatures having the human form, and comprehends under it the
Bear,
the
Man,
and the
Monkey.
HILL.
Immortal
Dulness,
honour'd on her throne,
Beheld her Empire spreading o'er the town;
Despis'd the Vacuum of her antient home,
Where whistling winds pierc'd thro' the hollow dome;
Forsook the
tatter'd Ensigns of Rag-fair,
Line 45.
Tatter'd Ensigns of Rag-fair.
] See
Pope's Dunciad
; on which the
Mythology
and
Machinery
of this poem is, in a good degree, founded.
And seiz'd th' unfinish'd
Mansion
of the
Mayor.
Line 46.
Unfinish'd Mansion of the May'r.
] The Mansion-house. — It is not very clear, whether our author intended here a satire on the imperfection and ill-design of that building, or the slow progress made in its erection; but very prebably both.
Here flock'd her sons, the sleepy, blind, and dull,
Each vacant brain and ev'ry solid skull:
Repeated
Io
's their full joy express'd,
And on the tables smoak'd a city-feast.
Shrieves, Wardens, Aldermen, their Brothers greet,
And each broad-bottom shook its trembling seat:
Ev'n thicker Custards did the Cooks afford:
More solid Puddings reek'd upon the board.
The loving mother then address'd her sons;
O children! dear as birth-day Odes or Puns!
Happy! thrice happy! am I thus to see
Your fond attachment to yourselves and me:
Nor shall I e'er ungratefully forget,
You scorn'd to make your
Chamberlaine
a
Wit.
Line 60.
Chamberlain, a Wit.
] On the resignation of Sir
John Bosworth,
late Chamberlain of the city of
London.
Mr.
Glover,
whose distinguish'd merit as a Gentleman, a Merchant, and a Scholar, might have justly entitled him to a much higher post of honour and trust, could not obtain the succession of that important office. —I have heard some critics condemn this line as a forc'd transposition.—I have, however, no authority to alter it.
No
Genius
here degrades your solemn meeting.
Right! what has Wit or Sense to do with eating!
O! still be zealous to support my laws,
And share my blessings in the good old cause.
Line 64.
Good old Cause.
]
A term made use of in almost all cases, and by all parties;—thus a rebellion, and a restoration, and the opposite to both, have been honoured with the same happy and significant phrase.
SCHOLIAST.
The Goddess spoke, and strait her opiate shed,
And eke her potent Quintessence of lead:
All felt its pow'r, from Marshal to the Mayor:
Line 67.
Marshal to the Mayor.
] The City Marshal, an inferior office so called▪ and not the name of a worthy personage, as may be suspected.
A double portion fell to
As—l
's share.
Line 68.
A double portion fell to
A—l
Share.
] Sir
C. A.
Km. and
A—n.
A
present remarkable for a very prudent resentment subsisting between him and
Cri
Gascoine,
a Gentleman, who honours every other ti
le he possesse
; before the time
whose Mayoralty commences the
Aera
of this poem.
Then, in the chair of state, she took her throne,
And all unanimous the Goddess crown.
Long live Queen Dulness,
hoot her darling Owls,
Long live Queen Dulness,
shout her fav'rite Fools.
When now behold, in glitt'ring pomp, ascend
A sister Queen, a Goddess, and a Friend.
Immortal
Pertness,
sprung from
Chaos
old,
Line 75, 76.] See
Pope
's Dunciad.
Inconstant, active, giddy, light, and bold,
Restless and fickle as her rumbling Sire,
Blind as her Mother,
Night,
could well desire.
Wrought by some pow'r divine, in equal pride,
Her throne ascended by her sister's side.
Where hunted Ducks traverse the muddy stream,
And dogs initiate their whelps to swim,
Monsters and Fools assemble once a year,
And juggling
Hymen
celebrates May-fair,
This Goddess dwelt. Just rais'd above the ground,
Her Palace varnish'd silver deck'd around.
Line 86.
Her palace varnish'd silver deck'd around.] May-fair Wells,
beautified in the manner of most theatres with lacker'd silver, to represent gold; —a place resorted to by clerks and 'prentices to perform what they call private plays to as many of their acquaintance as they can crowd in, who come to laugh, and in their turns to be laughed at. It was here Doctor
Hill,
in his younger days, amused himself in the science of
Spouting.
A science ridiculed by one of their own Bards, in an Epilogue spoken at the
Haymarket.
Nor is our Art to House or Home confin'd,
We rave i'th' Streets, and bellow to the wind.
Stentor
roar'd out one day, down
Drury-Lane,
I'll call thee,
Father, HAMLET, Royal Dane.
A
Porter,
blest with impudence and ease,
Cried, you be damn'd, Sir, call me what you please.
Here stood her Merc'ry, here she nurs'd her Apes;
Line 87.
Here stood her Merc'ry, here she nurs'd her Apes,
HERE STOOD HER OPIUM, HERE SHE NURS'D HER OWLS.
DUNCIAD.
Here Magpies chatter'd in a hundred shapes;
Jackdaws and Parrots join'd th' unmeaning noise
Of Templars, Coxcombs, Prigs, and 'Prentice boys.
Far, hence, the Goddess spread her kingdom wide,
To
Dulness,
as in birth, in pow'r ally'd,
She,
from her native
Grub-street
to
Rag-fair,
South to the
Mint
and west to
Temple-bar,
Included ev'ry garrison'd retreat;
Bedlam, Crane-court,
the
Counters
and the
Fleet.
Her Sister
boasted as extensive sway,
Fierce
Broughton
's bruising sons her pow'r obey,
St.
Giles
's,
George
's, and the famous train
Line 99.
St. Giles's, George's, &c.
] I am somewhat at a loss to conceive why our Poet should join the Sons of
St. Giles's
; with the decent, well-dressed Critics of
George's,
and the
Bedford.
It is true they may be supposed equally pert, but I imagine our author has a much deeper meaning. I therefore recommend this passage to the Critics, hoping they will give some hints to the Printer, against another Edition of this work.
Of
Bedford, Bow-street,
and of
Drury-lane
;
Ev'n to the licens'd park her chiefs resort,
And seize the priv'ledge of great
George
's Court.
Lo,
Dulness
now, half-rising from her throne,
Behold, my sons, the partner of my crown;
Let my lov'd sister equal honours share,
Pertness,
immortal Regent of May-fair!
She said. The kindred Goddess all confess'd,
And equal honours crown'd each royal guest.
Their guardian Virtues in due order stood,
Lines 109, 110.] See
Pope's Dunciad.
Calm
Prudence, Temp'rance,
and stern
Fortitude
;
Poetic Justice
held her scale between,
And lean'd, by turns, the beam to either Queen.
Now living Merc'ry Opium out-weighs;
Now solid Pudding kicks up empty praise.
The crowd, below, each varied impulse felt.
Part roar and sing, and part in slumbers melt;
Grave Dons and skipping Coxcombs till the Hall,
These snore aloud, and those strike up the
Ball.
At length the Tumult of the night is o'er.
The Dozers sleep, the fiddles squeak no more!
The morning-dawn o'ertakes the
quick
and
dead
;
And home the mighty Drunk are borne or led;
To business these, to pleasure those betake.
These born to hoard a
Plumb,
and those to rake.
Line 124.
These born to hoard a Plumb.
] A
Plumb
means here, the full sum of twenty thousand pounds.
Thus bear the sister Queens united sway;
And
pert,
and
dull,
their sev'ral pow'rs obey;
Alternate Honours nod on either Plume.
And both by turns pre eminence assume.
Hence as one Blockhead sunk at
Gresham
College,
Another rose, of diff'rent taste and knowledge.
As lov'd of
Pertness
was her dear
Rom—ne,
Line 131.
Dear R—ne.
] A reverend Gentleman, who, being honoured with the professorship of Astronomy at
Gresham
College, attempted in his publick lectures to ridicule the
Newtonian
Philosophy, and bring that contempt on the science which very j
ly fell on himself.
As lov'd of
Dulness
is her own
Cock—ne.
Line 132.
Own Coc—ne.
] Successor to the aforementioned Gentleman, who will leave the science and his hearers exactly where he found 'em.
So when one Tutor
Caesar
's Heir forsook,
Another tutor read another Book.
Now from their throne they view'd their empire round,
Where skim the
shallow,
plunge the vast
profound,
In dancing Lyrics skip the scribbling train,
Or plod in the lame, blank, laborious, heavy strain:
Saw journalists leave journals in the lurch;
Others revive the science of the
Birch,
True scribbling Pedagogues usurp the lash,
And give, like
Bayes
's thunder, dash for dash;
They saw
Guildhall
and
Westminster
agree;
At both brow-beating
C—l
earn his Fee;
Line 144.
Brow-beating C—l.
] I can't think the mention of this Gentleman here, shews any great disapprobation; as our author confesses he
earns
his fee, which is an encomium our pleaders at the Bar, in general, don't deserve.
Smooth-spoken
L—d
with ev'ry witness trudge,
Line 145.
Smooth-spoken L—d, with ev'ry witness trudge.
] Sir
R. L—d,
alluding to the manner of this Gentleman's pleading, which is, in general, with great mildness intermixed with sarcastical smiles. His
trudging after witnesses
alludes to his summing up the evidence, and his frequent repetition of
I am instructed to say.
And the sleek
Council
spoilt into a
Judge
:
Line 146.
And the sleek Council spoil'd into a Judge.
] Justice
D—n
esteemed an able, advising Counsellor, which station it seems our author thought better become him than his later dignity.
Saw the slow Bishop, with expounding drawl,
Line 147.
Saw the slow Bishop with expounding drawl,
&c.] Dr.
S—r,
L. B. of
O—d,
of a slow delivery in the pulpit.—He left the rectory of St.
J—s,
where he used to expound during the winter, for the deanery of St.
P—l
's.—He took great offence at a certain Alderman in his Mayoralty, before whom he preached, because his Lordship did not invite him to dinner.
Leave poor St.
James
to grasp a richer
Paul,
Right Orthodox, maintains those equal sinners,
Who slight his sermons, or refuse him dinners:
Saw
Newgate
's Ordinary chatter on as fast,
Line 151.
Newgate's Ordinary chatter on.
] The contrast between these two divines is very high;—the prelate addressing the most polite audiences in terms so homely, that he
who runs may read,
and so slowly, that he who crawls may keep up with him;— the
Ordinary
telling the most ignorant of all wretches, that
Death is an opake Body, that eclipses the brightness of Eternity,
with all the volubility of a School-boy.
As if each sermon was to be
his
last;
Degreeless Doctors, regular-bred Quacks,
In Merc'ry and in Opium all go snacks:
Saw the
choice Spirits
noisy Vigils keep,
Line 155.
Saw the choice Spirits noisy vigils keep.
]
A kind of modern Bacchanalians, who distinguish themselves by frequent, nocturnal meetings; called by several names, such as
Comus's Court, British Carnival, High Borlace,
&c.—The scene is a mixture of singing, drinking, blasphemy, and noise, as at the ancient feasts of
Bacchus,
among the heathens, and very deserving the satire of a Christian Poet.—Their priests are dignified with the title of
Stars,
and their high priests by
Stars
of the
first Magnitude
; so that it is plain in what esteem this
Pagan
worship is held.
O tempora! O mores!
And yet the bishops, and the parliament take no notice of these things, as if they were not.
J. WESTLEY.
vivâ voce.
What Mr.
Westley
remarks is undoubtedly very just, that the Clergy and the parliament should look into these outrageous proceedings. But what will that reverend divine say when I assure him, that not only members of that high Court, but even Brothers of his own sacred function are themselves
Bacchanalians?
And sing their drunken Brethren fast asleep:
Blockheads and
Bloods
in Pit and Boxes roar,
Support a Pantomime and damn a
Moore
;
Line 158.
Damn a Moore.
] Mr.
Moore,
a Poet of great modesty, and merit, both
s a Gentleman, and a writer. His last Comedy, called GIL BLAS, met with very
njust treatment on the stage, for, notwithstanding it had many faults, as he himself allows, the best Critic would not have condemned the Taste of the Town, for giving
more applause than they have bestowed on many less-deserving pieces.—His
Female Fables
are master-pieces of good sense and elegance.
Arraign the traitor
Garrick
's insolence,
Who dar'd to satirize the want of Sense,
To join with
Popery
and
France,
at once,
In
Powder-plot,
to blow up ev'ry Dunce:
And leagu'd, to rob each free-born
English
skull,
Of
right
and
priviledge
of being
dull.
Saw Students, Play'rs and Taylors, Casuists nice,
Discuss vague Metaphysics in a trice;
Part
Woolfton, Bolingbroke
and
Annet
foil,
Line 167.
Annet foil.
] A writer, who has published many pieces, after the manner of
Woolfton,
particularly about the
Trial of the Witnesses,
—a virulent opposer of the Christian System.—He is now concerned in a periodical pamphlet, called the
Free Correspondent.
And hold, unread,
Le Clerc, Van Dale
and
Moyle,
In lukewarm
Middleton
find out a flaw,
Staunch to the
Text
and
Kennedy
and
Law,
Line 170.
Kennedy and Law.
] Two of the most singular and incomprehensible writen the world ever produced. Mr.
Kennedy
has wrote an astronimcal treatise deduced from the
Pentateuch,
in which he prefers the
Ptolomaic
System as next to that of
Moses,
and gives Sir
Isaac Newton, Copernicus, Tyho Brahe,
and all the rest to the devil,—He says,
The
Newtonian
Astronomer truckles to the suggestions of the
Delphean
Tripod,
suffers himself to be juggled into an artificial computation, by the Ambiguities of a Da
—A rare fellow! Mr.
Law
is his equal for he confesses he has not his light from reason, nor writes to reason; he is indeed a seraphic writer, and may possibly write fo
celestial Beings, for no mortal man can understand him.
Plain as a pike-staff make the diff'rence clear,
Between a Knight o'th' Post and Knight o'th' Shire:
Others with
Locke
and
Newton
truths dispute,
Still blunder on, and still themselves confute,
Line 174.
Mistake Ontologos.
] The name prefixed to a Pamphlet, which made some noise last winter, and was called,
An Essay to prove the Soul of Man is not, neither
it be, immortal.
This piece, tho' intended as a satire on the sceptical reasoning
vogue, and purposely stuffed with thread-bare arguments, and worn out propositions,
swallowed by the Deists, who lavished encomiums on its author, 'till he vouchsafed
undeceive them by publishing as weak a reply in the same name, meerly to convinc
them how little he was in earnest. It was attacked, however, from the pulpit on a
sides, except from Mr. Orator
Henley,
who delivered an Elogium on its author, rema
ing at the same time, that he had not advanced his strongest arguments, for which however, his sagacity being at fault, he could not account.
Estrang'd as much from Reason as from God,
Mistake
Ontologos,
and kiss the rod;
Aim at the mark of science, blindly wise,
So fire plump▪ buff-coats when they shut their eyes,
Root up Religion, cancel
Good
and
Evil,
At
Butcher-row,
the
Queen's-Arms,
or the
Devil.
Line 180.
At Butcher-row, the Queen's Arms, or the Devil.
] Places where a company of People meet together to dispute on the several topics of religion, government, trade,
&c.
Every person, in his turn, having the liberty of speaking a stated time, as much, or as little to the purpose as he pleases.—Sir
Alexander Drawcansir
has fallen under a gross mistake, in supposing the former of these societies to have subsisted some ages ago; which considering his account is so just, in other respects, is a little surprising. It is true he might be led into this error from the many absurd opinions and obsolete expressions they make use of, but certain it is, it has not existed many years, and doth still exist,—the fragments he has got
verbatim
are, however, really curious, one of which I cannot help inserting here.
The Debate, whether Religion was of use to Society.
—A worthy member on this occasion got up, and spoke thus.
I ham of Upinion, that relidgin can be of no youse to any mortal Sole; bycause as why, relidgin is no youse to trayd, and if relidgin be of no youse to trayd, how ist it yousefool to Sosyaty. Now no body can deny, but that a man maye kary on his trayd very wel without relidgin; nay, and beter two, for then he may wurk won day in a wik mor than at present; whereof no body can saye but the seven is mor than six: Besides, if we haf no relidgin we shall have no
Pairsuns,
and that will be a grate savin to the sosyaty; and it is a
Maksum
in trayd, that a peny saved is a peny got.
COVENT-GARDEN JOURNAL, NO. 8.
They saw their Bards and Critics all appear:
Dull
Rolt,
long-steep'd in
Sedgeley
's nut-brown beer:
Line 182.
Dull Rolt, long steep'd in
Sedgely
's nut-brown beer.
]
Mr.
Rolt,
author of the
Westminster
Journal, in which our author, in the same sentence with Mr.
Fielding,
had been treated with abuse: Likewise of several poems and pamphlets now forgotten, such as the
Rosciad, Cambria,
the
Theatrical Contest, A Reply to Mr.
Fielding
's Discourse on Robberies, A Monody on the Death of the Prince,
and
the Gossip's Chronicle in the Old Woman's Magazine.
Our author, with much justice, has joined in the same Line
Ben Sedgely,
of
Temple-Bar,
sometimes the father of Mr.
Rolt
's pieces, and who is very proud of being esteemed an author, placing himself much higher than his predecessor
Word,
a publican celebrated in the
Dunciad,
tho' not possessed of even half his talents.
Ben
being really a very dull fellow, and remarkable for nothing but emptying a tankard.
ANON.
Kenrick,
whose sing-song verse the Ladies chuse,
Line 183.
Kenrick.
] A very young poet, and a pretender to almost all kinds of writing. — It is the misfortune of this youth, that, unless he finishes what he goes about in a day or two, the world never see it afterwards. He published a Monody on the death of the late Prince, dedicated to the Countess of
Middlesex.
— His anonymous pieces are numerous, and on various subjects. He wrote the two essays on the immortality of the Soul, concerning which, see note on Line 174. Also many other disquisitions for the exercise of his pen, and to amuse the dabblers in argument.—His
Old Woman's Dunciad
is an extraordinary instance of that impetuosity of Genius, which tho' redounding little to his honour is very offensive to his adversaries.—Mr.
Smart
having advertised an
Old Woman's Dunciad,
and given out, that this writer would share the benefit of his satire, he immediately wrote that piece, and published it under the same title. After which Mr.
Smart
never prosecuted his design of publishing his poem.—He is also the author of innumerable poetical, philosophical and political pieces, dispersed up and down in the News-papers and Magazines. It is no wonder, however, he should be so indefatigable a writer, as he is perhaps the only one that never takes any pains.
More honour'd by his wenches than his muse:
Derrick
made fine with
Gentleman
's lac'd coat,
185. DERRICK
made fine with
GENTLEMAN's
lac'd Coat.
] Mr.
Derrick
and Mr.
Gentleman,
both Players and Poets. The former, Author of the
Dramatic Censor,
a very
modest
work, in which the errors and inaccuracies of all our best Poets were to be pointed out. The latter, Author of
Sejanus,
a tragedy, never acted;
Fortune,
a Rhapsody, and some other pieces; particularly
Osman,
a Tragedy, in Manuscript.
Ah! wherefore soil'd by
Murphy
's cruel foot!
186.
By
Murphy
's cruel Foot.] An Irishman that has kick'd me,
says Mr.
Derrick.
It seems this Gentleman, who sometimes amuses himself with the pen, thinking Mr.
D.
unworthy his resentment, as an Author, disciplin'd him in a manner a little too rough for his constitution.
J
nes
who intends to live at
Colley
's death,
Line 187.
Jones, who designs,
&c.] A poet, who addressed the Earl of
C—d,
when Lord Lieutenant of
Ireland,
in a copy of verses, which obtained him the favour of that Nobleman, who brought him over to
England.
He published here a poem on seeing the late prince of
Wales
's picture, of which the publick took little notice. A tragedy also of this Gentleman's, called,
The Earl of Essex,
has been long expected on the stage.
So waits the good old
Laureat
's parting breath;
Has made his
Threnody,
'gainst Fate shall end him;
'Cause
Cibber
to the
Bayes
did recommend him:
Line 190.
To the Bayes did recommend him.
] Mr.
Cibber,
in a late illness, wrote a letter warmly recommending him to the Laurel, expecting hourly his own dissolution, which Epistle the honourable personage, to whom it was addressed, esteemed, as it really was, a remarkable instance of the Laureat's greatness of mind and extraordinary merit.
Tho' here the Laureat's policy is known;
Worse odes the better will set off his own:
Macklin
religious,
Henderson
polite,
Line 193.
Macklin religious,
&c.] Mr.
Macklin,
a famous player, and author, particularly celebrated for his harangues on religious subjects, at the oratory of the
Robin-hood.
Line 193.
Henderson polite.
] Author of an history of the late rebellion in
Scotland,
and a tragedy never acted.
Woodward, The. Cibber,
and the Mimes that write:
With these, droll
Howard,
and laborious
Shiells
Line 195.
Laborious Shiells.
] Author of the
Daily Gazetteer,
sometime ago Amanuensis to Mr.
Johnson.
He is also author of
Marriage,
a poetical essay, and many other anonymous pieces, also a great Orator at the
Butcher-row.
Line 195. Droll
Howard.] Harry Howard,
an author and humourist, well known at the routs and assemblies of
Old-Street
and
Broad St. Giles's.
With Mobs of
Boys
and
Parsons
at their Heels:
Saw
O—y,
without excuse for Bread,
Line 197. Lord
O—r—y
's Life of
Swift.
Rake up the sacred ashes of the dead,
Traduce the mem'ry of his once-lov'd friend,
And brand the honour'd name he should defend:
Saw scribbling Stationers, and link'd with those,
The Sons of Novel and poetic prose;
Long-winded
Richardson,
with
Sm-llet
join'd,
Line 203.
Sm—llet join'd.
] Author of
Roderick Random, Peregrine Pickle,
the
Regicide,
a tragedy, and several translations.
D—y
and
Crockat,
puffing in the Wind;
Line 204.
D—y
and
Crockat.
] Mr.
D—y,
Author of several dramatic pieces. A man of some ingenuity, but more lucky in his designs, than able to execute them.
W—r—r—n, vivâ voce.
Mr.
Crockat,
a great designer in the literary way.
With slattern females traipsing up and down,
Searching adventures, to amuse the Town:
Saw puerile
Harvey
on a Cock-horse ride;
Line 207.
Saw puerile
Harvey
on a Cock-horse ride.
] Mr.
Harvey,
author of meditations and contemplations, a very
florid
piece.
With
Gibbons, Boyce,
and fifty more beside
Line 208.
Gibbons and Boyce.
] Mr.
Gibbons,
by some called a second Dr.
Watts.
See his
Juvenilia.
BOYCE, a second DUCK, according to the
Inspector.
He has wrote a Comedy, a strange piece.
The bawdy-scribbling
Knight,
the preaching
Lord,
And what the stews, the shops, and stalls afford.
All these the Sister Queens, with joy confess'd,
For lo! their essence glow'd in ev'ry breast!
But
Pertness
saw her form distinctly shine
In none, Immortal
Hill,
so full as thine.
Drinking thy Morning Chocolate in Bed,
She saw thy
Daphne
's neck support thy head,
Saw thee slip on thy night-gown and retire
To muse profoundly by thy parlour fire:
By turns thy slippers dangling on thy toes;
Slippers that never were disgrac'd from Shoes!
Saw where thy learning, in huge volumes stood,
Part letter'd sheep, part gilt and painted wood;
Where thy lov'd
Antients
in disorder lay,
Daily perus'd,
for Mottos for the Day
;
Thy
Ovid, Horace,,
and thy
fav'rite Tully,
Line 225.
Thy
Ainsworth, Bailey,
and thy well-thumb'd
Lilly.] It will seem something strange, that our author should join these moderns so unluckily with the Ancients; as it is impossible he should himself be so ignorant; and very unlikely the learned personage he addresses should know no better; since he himself remarks on illiterate scribblers.
We shall see the modern Essayist, who has hardly Grammar enough to arrive at Concord, larding every other sentence with some transcript, from an author it is impossible he should have read, not because it is necessary, but because it is
Greek,
for what he has been saying in
English.
It is true, a certain writer, who pretended to take off, or copy the Doctor's writings exactly, did quote
Lilly,
and paum'd the passage upon
Virgil
; but it is impossible to suppose an author, who could censure others in the manner above-quoted, should be guilty of such forgery.
SCHOLIAST.
Thy
Ainsworth, Bailey,
and thy well-thumb'd
Lilly.
Saw where thy Maggots, in whole myriads, rise,
Line 227.
Dear Dirt-pies.
] Dirt-pies, the preparations for engendering animalculae.
Or in thy brain, or in thy dear dirt-pies.
When thus the Goddess of
May-fair
bespoke
Her royal sister. Gentle sister, look.
See where my son, who gratefully repays
Whate'er I lavish'd on his younger days.
Whom still my arm protects to brave the Town,
Secure from
Fielding, Machiavel,
or
Brown
;
Line 234.
Machiavel, or Brown.
] Our author seems here to hint at the plot carried on last summer at
Ranelagh,
in which Mr.
Brown
was the principal person concerned.— Hear the account of the diligence used in detecting the Contrivers.
Warrants were issued out on
Wednesday
night from Mr. Justice
Lediard,
and early on
Thursday
morning from the Right Honourable, the Lord Mayor, for apprehending all the persons concerned with
Mr. Brown
in the assault upon Dr.
Hill,
on
Wednesday
night in the passage at
Ranelagh.
The officers have been ever since in search after them, but none of them are yet taken. Yesterday at noon the
Marshals
of the
Lord Mayor
entered the Chambers which some Gentleman had lent to
Brown
in the Temple: But he escaped the search by concealing himself in a Coal-hole. About ten last night he was seen to go out mussled up in a great coat, and with a handkerchief tied over his face. Notice was immediately sent to the city, and the proper officers are posted to wait his return. The servants of the chambers, while he lay in the Coal-hole, pretended he had early made his escape, and was by that time far enough out of reach. Such measures are now taken that it will not be easy either for him or any of the rest to get off, unless they have already anticipated the sentence of the law by a voluntary banishment. It would be well if the Police of
Paris
were imitated here, and accounts were taken of those who make the appearance, or something which they intend shall be like the Appearance of Gentlemen, with no visible way of living.
H—ll.
There were some people, however, who, knowing the consequence of this illustrious personage, imagined the scheme for depriving this kingdom of his pen and services, much deeper laid than was generally thought, and that, notwithstanding the trivial pretence of a private quarrel, the politicians of the
F
nch
King's cabinet were no strangers to the process of this plot. This will appear very plausible, if we reflect how, on a particular occasion, the great Mr.
Dennis
was disturbed by a
French
p
teer, hovering about the coast of
Sussex,
in order to take him for writing a pamphlet against the interest of that Court. How the Doctor was offended at his Christian Majesty, or whether it be not out of envy to this kingdom itself, that this plot was laid against its Inspector-General, I can't determine.
SCHOLIAST.
Whom Rage nor Sword e'er mortally shall hurt.
Chief of an hundred Chiefs o'er all the
Pert
!
Rescu'd an Orphan Babe from
Common-Sense,
I gave his mother's milk to
Confidence
;
She,
with her own
Ambrosia,
bronz'd his face,
And chang'd his skin to monumental Brass:
This
shame
or
wit
successless, shall oppose,
Unless, so will the fates, they seize his nose.
This luckless part the young
Achilles
lick'd,
And tho' he cannot blush, he may be kick'd:
Yet still his pen provokes the fates' decree,
In scandal dipt, and elemental Tea;
Still he rails on, and, when attack'd, replies,
Recants his own, and blabs his neighbour's lies;
Line 248.
Recants his own, and blabs his neighbour's lies.
] It is most surprizing the incredulity of mankind, that the word of anonymous authors should be taken before a man's own hand-writing. Dr.
H
— is accused of being a great liar, nay, this opinion has so far prevailed, that his own acknowledgment of finding himself in an error has been thus censured in an Epigram.
What
H—ll
one day says, he the next does deny,
And candidly tells you,—'tis all a damn'd lie:
Dear Doctor,—this candour from you is not wanted;
For why shou'd you own it?—'tis taken for granted.
Now the Doctor himself says,
There is no Vice so universally detested as falsehood,
and takes for the Motto of his paper,
Juvenal's confession. I know not how to tell a Lie.
— Surely, surely, those who thus accuse the Doctor must be mistaken, or the Doctor must strangely mistake his own talents and abilities.
SCHOLIAST.
Or, guiltless of design, as Madmen fight,
Falls foul on friends or foes, or wrong or right;
Humane to spare when forc'd himself to run,
Line 251.
Humane to spare,
&c.]
It is certainly the most convenient thing in life to make a virtue of necessity, and conclude, when it is out of our power to revenge,
there is not any thing so virtuous, as to forgive an injury.
INSPECTOR, No. 553.
As
C-pe
once sav'd the grateful mother's son.
Line 252.
As C—pe preserv'd the grateful mother's son.
]
A grave Lady of the Order of Mend
ants, craving charity of General
C—pe,
to excite his liberality, pleaded her gratitude for favours received, and poured blessings on him for being the preserver of her Son's life. On which the General had curiosity enough to enquire who her Son was, and how he could be instrumental in saving his life.—Ah! God bless your honour, returned she,
when you ran away at
Preston Pans,
my Boy run after you, or he would certainly have been killed.
EDINBURGH TOWN-TALK.
Such is his pen, and such this son of mine,
Then shed thy Opium, and adopt him thine;
Let him exalted o'er our Empire reign,
From
Shepherd's-market
e'en to
Rosemary-lane:
Tibbald
dethron'd, thy
Dunciad
reign is o'er,
Thy
Gildon,
and thy
Toland,
are no more.
Thus spoke the Queen, and pausing for reply,
Her sister roll'd her broad, lack-lustre eye,
And thus return'd▪ O
Pertness!
Goddess! Queen!
With whose my reign has e'er consistent been,
O had thy thought anticipated mine!
So witness
Jove
I honour thy design!
My Opium then had fill'd his shallow skull,
And all the
pert
had bow'd with all the
dull.
But see my darling son, whom I have chosen,
Chief of my Chiefs among an
hundred dozen,
With Cyder muddled, or inspir'd with Bub,
In
Newb'ry
's Garret, or in
Henly
's Tub,
With Coachmen, Coblers, and such dainty folks,
For Mugs of Porter, pun and crack his jokes;
In sacred verse, at my own
Cambridge
rise,
Write by himself and bear from
all
the prize;
As oft
poor Jack
his brother wit hath done,
Ran for a wager with himself, and won:
For him the regal Sceptre I design,
As worthy thy distinguish'd love as mine.
Me, he confess'd, tho' nurs'd by
Common Sense,
Tho'
Wit
and
Genius
held him in suspense.
Thy
Hill,
from Gratitude, obeys thy laws,
My
Smart,
from love and rev'renee to our cause:
Line 282.
My Smart,
&c.]
Mr.
Smart,
a person of real and great Genius.
INSPECTOR 350.
It is true, Mr.
Inspector
gives another account in some succeeding papers of this real and great Genius, concerning which, see notes on our second Book.
Yet, that due merit meet its due renown,
That he who best deserves may wear the crown,
Nor these our darling Chiefs, from partial care,
The highest honours of our Empire share,
Let all our Sons, in Emulation, rise;
And he who most atchieves shall claim the victor's prize.
The End of the First BOOK.