TO DAVID GARRICK, Eſq

[]
SIR,

AMIDST the regrets I feel for your quitting the Stage, it is peculiarly gratifying, that a Play of mine cloſes your dramatic life—It is the higheſt pleaſure to me, that that Play, from its ſucceſs, reflects no diſhonour on your judgement as a Manager.

Poſterity will know, thro' a thouſand Channels, that Mr. GARRICK was the ornament of the eighteenth Century, that he poſſeſſed the friendſhip of thoſe whoſe Names will be the glory of Engliſh Hiſtory, that the firſt ranks in the kingdom courted his ſociety—may my ſmall voice be heard amongſt thoſe who will inform it, that Mr. GARRICK's Heart was no leſs an honour to him, than his Talents!

Unpatronized by any name, I preſented myſelf to you, obſcure and unknown. You perceived dawnings in my Comedy, which you nouriſh'd and improved. With attention, and ſollicitude, you embelliſh'd, and preſented it to the world—that World, which has emulated your generoſity, and received it with an applauſe, which fills my heart with moſt lively gratitude. I perceive how much of this applauſe I owe to my Sex.—The RUNAWAY has a thouſand faults, which, if written by a Man, would have incurred the ſevereſt laſh of Criticiſm—but the Gallantry of the Engliſh Nation is equal to its Wiſdom—they beheld [] a Woman tracing with feeble ſteps the borders of the Parnaffian Mount—pitying her difficulties (for 'tis a thorny path) they gave their hands for her ſupport, and placed her high above her level.

All this, Sir, and whatever may be its conſequences, I owe to you. Had you rejected me, when I preſented my little RUNAWAY, depreſſed by the refuſal, and all confidence in myſelf deſtroyed, I ſhould never have preſumed to dip my pen again. It is now my taſk to convince You and the World, that a generous allowance for a young Writer's faults, is the beſt encouragement to Genius—'tis a kindly Soil, in which weak Groundlings are nouriſh'd, and from which the loftieſt Trees draw their ſtrength, and their beauty.

I take my leave of you, Sir, with the warmeſt wiſhes for your felicity, and Mrs. GARRICK's—to whoſe taſte, and ſollicitede for me, I am highly indebted. May your receſs from the Stage be attended with all the bleſſings of retirement and eaſe—and may the world remember, in its moſt diſtant periods, that 'tis to Mr. GARRICK the Engliſh Theatre owes its emancipation from groſſneſs, and buffoonery—that to Mr. GARRICK's Judgement it is indebted for being the firſt Stage in Europe, and to his Talents for being the delight of the moſt enlightened and poliſh'd age.

I am, Sir, your moſt devoted, and obedient humble Servant, THE AUTHOR.

PROLOGUE.

[]
Written by the AUTHOR.
Spoken by MR. BRERETON.
O The ſweet proſpect! what a fine Parterre!
Soft buds, ſweet flowers, bright tints, and ſcented air!
[Boxes.
A Vale, where critic wit ſpontaneous grows!
[Pit.
A Hill, which noiſe and folly never knows!
[Gallery.
Let Cits point out green paddocks to their ſpouſes;
To me, no proſpect like your crouded houſes—
If, as juſt now, you wear thoſe ſmiles enchanting;
But, when you frown, my heart you ſet a panting.
Pray then, for pity, do not frown to-night;
I'll bribe—but how—Oh, now I've hit it—right.
Secrets are pleaſant to each child of Eve;
I've one in ſtore, which for your ſmiles I'll give.
O liſt! a tale it is, not very common;
Our Poet of to-night, in faith's a—Woman,
A woman, too, untutor'd in the School,
Nor Ariſtotle knows, nor ſcarce a rule
By which fine writers fabricate their plays,
From ſage Menander's, to theſe modern days:
How ſhe could venture here I am aſtoniſh'd;
But 'twas in vain the Mad-cap I admoniſh'd;
Told her of ſqueaking cat-calls, hiſſes, groans,
Off, offs, and ruthleſs Critics' damning moans.
I'm undiſmay'd, ſhe cry'd, critics are Men,
And ſmile on folly from a Woman's pen:
Then 'tis the Ladies' cauſe, there I'm ſecure;
Let him who hiſſes, no ſoft Nymph endure;
May he who frowns, be frown'd on by his Goddeſs,
From Pearls, and Bruſſels Point, to Maids in Boddice.
Now for a hint of her intended feaſt:
'Tis rural, playful,—harmleſs 'tis at leaſt;
Not over-ſtock'd with repartee or wit,
Tho' here and there perchance there is a hit;
[] For ſhe ne'er play'd with bright Apollo's fire,
No Muſe invok'd, or heard th' Aönian lyre;
Her Comic Muſe—a little blue-ey'd maid,
With cheeks where innocence and health's diſplay'd;
Her 'Pol—in petticoats—a romping Boy,
Whoſe taſte is trap-ball, and a kite his joy:
Her Nurſery the ſtudy, where ſhe thought,
Fram'd fable, incident, ſurpriſe and plot.
From the ſurrounding hints ſhe caught her plan,
Length'ning the chain from infancy to man:
Tom plagues poor Fan; ſhe ſobs, but loves him ſtill;
Kate aims her wit at both, with roguiſh ſkill:
Our Painter mark'd thoſe lines—which Nature drew,
Her fancy glow'd, and colour'd them—for you;
A Mother's pencil gave the light and ſhades,
A Mother's eye thro' each ſoft ſcene pervades;
Her Children roſe before her flatter'd view,
Hope ſtretch'd the canvas, whilſt her wiſhes drew.
We'll now preſent you drapery and features,
And warmly hope, you'll like the pretty creatures;
Then Tom ſhall have his kite, and Fan new dollies,
Till time matures them for important follies."

The dotted lines in the Play are omitted at the Theatre.

EPILOGUE.

[]
Written by D. GARRICK, ESQ.
Spoken by MISS YOUNGE.
POST haſte from Italy arrives my Lover!
Shall I to you, good Friends, my fears diſcover?
Should Foreign modes his Virtues mar, and mangle,
And Caro Spoſo prove—Sir Dingle Dangle;
No ſooner join'd than ſeparate we go,
Abroad—we never ſhall each other know,
At home—I mope above—he'll pick his teeth below.
In ſweet domeſtic chat we ne'er ſhall mingle,
And, wedded tho' I am, ſhall ſtill live ſingle.
However modiſh, I deteſt this plan:
For me, no maukiſh creature, weak, and wan;
He muſt be Engliſh, and an Engliſh—Man.
To Nature, and his Country, falſe and blind,
Shou'd Belville dare to twiſt his form and mind,
I will diſcard him—and to Britain true,
A Briton chuſe—and, may be, one of you!
Nay, don't be frighten'd—I am but in jeſt;
Free Men in Love, or War, ſhould ne'er be preſs'd.
If you wou'd know my utmoſt expectation,
'Tis one unſpoil'd by travell'd Education;
With knowledge, taſte, much kindneſs, and ſome whim,
Good ſenſe to govern me—and let me govern him:
Great love of me, muſt keep his heart from roving;
Then I'll forgive him, if he proves too loving:
If in theſe times, I ſhou'd be bleſs'd by Fate
With ſuch a Phoenix, ſuch a matchleſs Mate,
I will by kindneſs, and ſome ſmall diſcerning,
Take care that Hymen's torch continues burning:
At weddings, now-a-days, the torch thrown down,
Juſt makes a ſmoke, then ſtinks throughout the town!
No married Puritan—I'll follow pleaſure,
And ev'n the Faſhion—but in mod'rate meaſure;
[] I will of Op'ra extaſies partake,
Tho' I take ſnuff to keep myſelf awake;
No rampant Plumes ſhall o'er my temples play,
Foretelling that my brains will fly away;
Nor from my head ſhall ſtrange vagaries ſpring,
To ſhew the ſoil can teem with ev'ry thing!
No fruits, roots, greens, ſhall fill the ample ſpace,
A kitchen-garden, to adorn my face!
No Rocks ſhall there be ſeen, no Windmill, Fountain,
Nor curls like Guns ſet round, to guard the Mountain!
O learn, ye Fair, if this ſame madneſs ſpreads,
Not to hold up, but to keep down your heads:
Be not miſled by ſtrange fantaſtic art,
But in your dreſs let Nature take ſome part;
Her ſkill alone a laſting pow'r inſures,
And beſt can ornament ſuch charms as yours.

PERSONS OF THE DRAMA.

MEN.
Mr. HARGRAVE
Mr. Yates.
GEORGE HARGRAVE
Mr. Smith.
Mr. DRUMMOND
Mr. Benſley.
Sir CHA. SEYMOUR
Mr. Brereton.
Mr. MORLEY
Mr. Aickin.
JUSTICE
Mr. Parſons.
JARVIS
Mr. Palmer.
Firſt Hunter
Mr. Banniſter.

WOMEN.
Lady DINAH
Mrs. Hopkins.
BELLA
Miſs Younge.
EMILY
Mrs. Siddons.
HARRIET
Miſs Hopkins.
SUSAN
Mrs. Wrighten.

Gentlemen, Hunters, Servants, &c.

SCENE, Mr. Hargrave's Houſe in the Country.

[]THE RUNAWAY.

ACT I.

SCENE, a Garden.
BELLA and HARRIET. Enter GEORGE.
George.

OH, for the luxury of night-gown and ſlippers! No jaded hack of Parnaſſus can be more tired than I am—the roads ſo duſty, and the ſun ſo hot—'twould be leſs intolerable riding poſt in Africa.

Bella.

What a wild imagination!—But in the name of Fortune, why are you alone? What have you done with all the College youths?—This is the firſt vacation you ever came home unaccompanied, and I aſſure you we are quite diſappointed.

Geo.

Oh, moſt unconſcionable Woman! Never to be ſatisfied with conqueſt—There's poor Lumley ſhot through by your wicked eyes.

Bella.

A notable victory indeed!—however, his name ſerves to make a figure in the liſts of one's conqueſts, and ſo you may give him juſt hope enough to feed his ſighs,—but not to encourage his preſumption.

Geo.

Paragon of generoſity!—And what portion of comfort will your Ladyſhip beſtow on Egerton and Filmer, who ſtill hug the chains of the reſiſtleſs Arabella?

Bella.

Upon my word, your catalogue grows intereſting—'tis worth while now to enquire for your vouchers—Proofs, George, proofs.

Geo.
[2]

Why, the firſt writes ſonnets in your praiſe, and the laſt toaſts you till he can't ſee.

Bella.

Oh, excellent!—The Dulcinea of one—and Circe of the other—ha! ha!—to transform him into a beaſt—I hope you have better love-tokens for the bluſhing Harriet—How does—

Harriet.

Fye, Bella—you uſe me ill.

Geo.

Why, Siſter, you plead guilty, before the charge is exhibited—But tell me, my ſweet Harriet, who is this favour'd mortal, of whom you mean to enquire?

Har.

Indeed, Brother, I have no enquiries to make; but I imagine my Couſin can inform you whom ſhe meant.

Bella.

Oh, doubtleſs—but you look ſo offended, Harriet, that I dare not venture the enquiry: aſk for Sir Charles Seymour yourſelf.

Geo.

Seymour! Ho, ho! Very fine truly!

[aſide.]

If Seymour be the man, my Siſter, ſet your heart at reſt—he is on the point of marriage, if I am not miſtaken, with a fine blooming Girl, not more than eighteen.—Soft, dove-like eyes—pouting lips—teeth that were, doubtleſs, made of oriental pearl—a neck—I want a ſimile now—ivory, wax, alabaſter!—no; they won't do.

Har.
[with an air of pique.]

One would imagine, Brother, you were drawing the picture of your own Miſtreſs, inſtead of Sir Charles's, your colours are ſo warm.

Geo.

A fine Woman, Harriet, gives warmth to all around her—She is that univerſal ſpirit, about which Philoſophers talk; the true point of attraction that governs Nature, and controuls the univerſe of Man.

Bella.

Heiday, George! Did the charms of Lady Dinah inſpire this rhapſody?

Geo.

Charms! What, of that antiquated, ſententious, delicate Lady, who bleſs'd us with her long ſpeeches at dinner?

Bel.

You muſt learn to be more reſpectful in your epithets, Sir; for that ſententious, delicate Lady deſigns you the honour of becoming your Mother.

Geo.

My Mother! Heaven ſorefend—you jeſt, ſurely.

Bel.

You ſhall judge.—We met her in our late viſit to Bath—She renewed her acquaintance with your Father, with whom, in Mrs. Hargrave's life-time, ſhe had been intimate—He invited her to return with us, and ſhe has been here this month—They are frequently [3] cloſeted together—She has forty thouſand pounds, and is Siſter to an Iriſh Peer.

Geo.

She might have been Grandmother to the Peer, by the days ſhe has numbered—But her exceſſive propriety and decorum overcome me—How can they agree with my father's vociferation, October, and hounds?

Bel.

Oh, I aſſure you, wondrouſly well—ſhe kiſſes Jowler, takes Ringwood on her lap, and has, more than once, ſipp'd out of your Father's tankard.—Delicacies, Couſin, are eaſily made to give way, when we have certain ends to anſwer.

Geo.

Very true; and beware of that period, when delicacies muſt give way—tremble at the hour, Bella, when you'll riſe from the labours of your toilette with no end in view, but the conqueſt of ſome Quixote Galant in his grand climacteric—on whom you'll ſquander more encouraging glances, than all the ſighs and ardor of two and twenty can extort from you now.

Bel.

Memento mori! Quite a College compliment: you ought rather to have ſuppoſed that my power will increaſe; and that, like Ninon, I might give myſelf the airs of eighteen at eighty—But here's John coming to ſummon us to coffee.—Harriet!

Geo.

Come, Harriet—why that penſive air? Give me your hand.

Har.

Excuſe me—I'll only ſtep and look at my birds, and follow you inſtantly—

[Exeunt George and Bella playfully.]

—"Set your heart at reſt, my Siſter."—Oh, Brother!—you have robb'd that heart of reſt for ever.—Cruel intelligence!—Something has long ſat heavy in my boſom—and now the weight is irremoveable—Perfidious Seymour!—yet, of what can I accuſe him? He never profeſs'd to love me—Oh yes, his ardent looks—his ſighs—his conſuſion—his reſpectful attentions, have a thouſand times profeſs'd the ſtrongeſt paſſion—Surely, a man cannot in honour, be exculpated, who by ſuch methods defrauds a Woman of her heart; even tho' the word Love ſhould never paſs his lips. Yet I ought not to have truſted theſe ſeeming proofs—no; I muſt only blame my own credulity—O partial Nature!—why have you given us hearts ſo replete with tenderneſs, and minds ſo weak, ſo yielding?

[4]
SCENE, a Garden Parlour.
Enter GEORGE and BELLA at the Garden Door.
BELLA ſeating herſelf at a Tea-table.
Bel.

Hang this Lady Dinah—one's forc'd to be ſo dreſs'd, and ſo formal!—In the country we ſhould be all ſhepherds and ſnepherdeſies—Meadows, ditches, rooks, and court-manners, are the ſtrangeſt combination!

Geo.

Hiſt—ſhe's in the hall, I ſee—I'll go and 'ſquire her in.

[Exit George, and returns with Lady Dinah.
Lady D.

To you, Sir, who have been ſo long converſant with the fine manners o [...] [...]e Antients, the frivolous cuſtom of tea-drinking muſt appear ridiculous.

Geo.

No cuſtom can be ridiculous, Madam, that gives us the ſociety of the Ladies—The young men of thoſe days deſerve your L [...]dyſhip [...]s pity, for having never taſted theſe elegant hours.

Lady D.
[aſide.]

He is juſt what his Father deſcribed.

Enter Mr. HARGRAVE.
Mr. H.

No;—Barbary Beſs is ſpavin'd; let her be taken care of: I'll have Longſhanks, and ſee that he's ſaddled by five—So we ſha'n't have you in the hunt to-morrow, George,—you muſt have more time to ſhake off the lazy ruſt of Cambridge, I ſuppoſe.—What ſort of hours d'ye keep at College?

Geo.

Oh, Sir, we are frequently up before the Sun, there.

Mr. H.

Hah!—then 'tis when you ha'n't been in bed all night, I believe.—And how do you ſtand in other matters?—Have the muſty old Dons tired you with their Greek, and their Geometry, and their learned Experiments to ſhew what air, and fire, and water, are made of? Ha! ha! ha!

Bella.

Oh, no, Sir—he never ſtudied them cloſely enough to be tired—his Philoſophy and mine keep pretty equal pace, I believe.

Geo.

As uſual, my lively Couſin—If you had ſaid my Philoſophy and your Coquetry, I ſhould have thought you had meant to compliment me—However, Sir, I am not tired of my ſtudies—though Bella has not exactly hit the reaſon.

Lady D. to Mr. H.
[5]

The Muſes, Sir, ſufficiently recompence the moſt painful aſſiduities by which we obtain their favour—Their true lovers are never ſatiated with the pleaſures they beſtow—thoſe, indeed, who court them, like the Toaſts of the ſeaſon, becauſe it is the faſhion, are neither warm'd by their beauties, nor penetrated with their charms—but theſe are faithleſs Knights;—your Son, I dare ſay, has enliſted himſelf among their ſincereſt Votaries.

Geo.

You do me great honour, Madam,—I have no doubt but you are perfectly acquainted with the Muſes. They ſhed their favours on a few only—but thoſe who ſhare them muſt, like you, be irreſiſtible. I'll catch her Ladyſhip's ſtyle.

[aſide.
Mr. H.
[aſide.]

Humph—I am glad he likes her.

Lady Dinah.

You men are ſo full of flattery! In Athens, in Lacedemon, that vice was for ages unknown—it was then the Athenians were the happieſt, and the Lacedemonians the—

Bella.

Oh mercy!—I have burnt my fingers in the moſt terrible manner.

[Enter Harriet from the Garden.]

I wiſh the misfortune had happened to her Ladyſhip's tongue.

[aſide.
Har.

Dear Bella, I am quite concerned.

Bella.

Pho!—I only meant to break in upon her harangue, there's no bearing ſo much Wiſdom.

[Enter Servant.
Serv.

Mr. Drummond.

Enter Mr. DRUMMOND.
Mr. D.

Benedicite!—ah!—my dear Godſon!—why, this is an unexpected pleaſure—I did not know you were arrived.

Geo.

I have had that happineſs only a few hours, Sir, and I was on the point of paying my devoirs to you at the Park.

Mr. D.

Ungracious Rogue! a few hours, and not been with me yet!—however—ſtay where you are, ſtay where you are, George—you cannot come under my roof with ſafety now, I aſſure you; ſuch a pair of eyes, ſuch a bloom, ſuch a ſhape!—Ah Girls, Girls!

Har.

Dear Mr. Drummond, of what, or whom, are you talking? You make me quite jealous.

Mr. D.
[6]

Oh! you are all out-done, eclipſed—you have no chance with my Incognita—Then ſhe has the prettieſt foot—and moves a Grace!

Bel.

Teaſing creature!

Mr. D.

Pretty Bella!—well, it ſhall be ſatisfied. Mr. Hargrave, I wait on you, Sir, to requeſt an apartment for a young Lady of beauty, and honour, who hath put herſelf under my protecti [...]n.—But as I really think my houſe a dangerous ſituation for her, conſidering that I am ſingle, young and handſome,

[ſtroking his face]

I cannot in conſcience expoſe her to it.—You, being a grave, orderly man, and having a couple of decent, wellbehaved young women for a Daughter and Niece; I think ſhe will be more agreeably protected here—and this is my buſineſs.

Mr. H.

A young Lady who hath put herſelf under your protection! Who is ſhe?

Mr. D.

Her name ſhe wiſhes to conceal.

Mr. H.

That's very odd—Where did you meet with her?

Mr. D.

At the houſe of a Widow Tenant of mine, a few miles from hence, where ſhe had taken refuge from a marriage to which an Uncle would have forced her.—She had no companion but the good old Lady, whom I found employed in aſſiſting her to weep, inſtead of conſoling her.—In ſhort, there were reaſons to think her ſituation highly dangerous, and I prevail'd on her to leave it.

Har.

And ſo your credulity is again taken in, and the air of a weeping Beauty is the trap that caught you?—Ha, ha! ha!—Will you never be ſick of impoſitions?

Mr. D.

I don't remember that I was ever impoſed on.

Mr. H.

No! don't I know how many people you have plagued yourſelf about, who had not a grain of merit to deſerve it?

Mr. D.

I want merit Mr. Hargrave; yet all the bleſſings of health and fortune have not been with-held from me.

Mr. H.

Aye, aye—there's no getting you to hear reaſon on this ſubject.

Mr. D.

'Tis too late to reaſon now. The young Lady is at my houſe—I have promiſed to bring her here, and we muſt endeavour to raiſe the poor Girl's ſpirits. She would have ſpoil'd the prettieſt face in England—beg pardon, Ladies—one of the prettieſt faces, with weeping at the old Widows.

Bel.
[7]

An old Widow, a pretty Girl, a Lover, a tyrannical Uncle—'tis a charming group for the amuſement of a village circle.—I long to ſee this Beauty.

Lady D.

Her beauty, according to Mr. Drummond, may be conſpicuous enough—but her pretenſions to birth and honour ſeem to be a more doubtful matter.

Geo.

Pardon me, Madam, why ſhould we doubt of either? A Lady in ſuch a ſituation has a right to protection;

[to his Father]

and I hope, Sir, you will not withhold yours.

Mr. H.

Oh, no, to be ſure, George.—'Sbud! refuſe protection to a fine Girl!—'twould be, with you, a crying Sin, I warrant—but Mr. Drummond, I ſhould ſuppoſe—

Mr. D.

Come, be ſatisfied, the weakneſſes with which you reproach me, might have induced me to have ſnatched her from an alarming ſituation without much examination.—But, in compliment to your delicacy, I have made proper enquiries.—She was placed under the care of Mrs. Carlton by a perſon of credit.—She has diſpatched a meſſenger to her Uncle, who, I preſume, will be here to-morrow.

Har.

Pray, Sir, permit us to wait on the Lady, and conduct her here; I am ſtrongly intereſted for her.

Mr. H.

'Tis an odd affair—what ſay you to it, my Lady?

Lady D.

As your Family ſeem deſirous to receive her, Sir, I am ſorry to perceive an impropriety in the requeſt—but I ſhould apprehend that any appearance of encouragement to young Ladies in diſobedience—particularly when accompanied with the glaring indecorum of an elopement—

Mr. H.

Aye, very true—'Sbud, Mr. Drummond, how can you encourage ſuch—

Mr. D.

Madam, I do not mean to encourage, but to reſtore the young Lady to her family. She ſeems terrified at the peculiar ſeverity of her Uncle's temper; ſo we'll put ourſelves in form, receive him in full aſſembly, and divide his anger amongſt us.—Your Ladyſhip, I'm ſure, muſt be happy to render the recovery of the firſt falſe ſtep as eaſy as poſſible.

Mr. H.

Why aye, my Lady—there can be no harm in that, you know.

Lady D.

Very well, Sir—if you think ſo, I can have no farther objection.

Mr. H.

Well then, Harriet, you may go—I think

Bella.
[8]

And I with you, Couſin.

Mr. D.

Come then, my pretty doves—I'll eſcort you.—George, ſteel your heart, ſteel your heart, you Rogue.

[Exeunt.
Geo.

It is ſteel'd, Sir.

Mr. H.

You need not go, George—I want to ſpeak to you.

Lady D.

Bleſs me!—what does he intend to ſay now?—he's going to open the affair to his Son—well—theſe are the moſt aukward moments in a Woman's life—but one muſt go through it.

[aſide.]

I have letters to write, which I'll take this leiſure to do, if you'll pardon my abſence, Gentlemen.

Mr. H.

To be ſure, Madam

[both bowing. Exit Lady D.]

—Well, George, how do you like that Lady?

Geo.

Extravagantly, Sir,—I never ſaw a Lady ſo learn'd.

Mr. H.

Oh, ſhe's clever—ſhe's an Earl's Siſter too, and a forty thouſand pounder, boy.

Geo.

That's a fine fortune.

Mr. H.

Aye, very fine, very fine—and then her intereſt!—ſuppoſe I could prevail with her—eh, George—if one could keep her in the family, I ſay—would not that be a ſtroke?

Geo.

An alliance with ſo noble a family, Sir, is certainly a deſirable circumſtance.

Enter Servant.
Ser.

The Gentlemen are in the ſmoaking parlour, Sir.

Mr. H.

Very well—are the pipes and October in readineſs?

Ser.

Yes, Sir.

[Exit.
Mr. H.

Well then, we'll talk over the affair to-morrow—what—I ſuppoſe your ſtoma [...]h is too ſqueamiſh for tobacco and ſtrong beer?—you'll find the Juſtice, and ſome more of your old friends there.

Geo.

Pardon me, Sir, I made too free with the bottle at dinner, and have felt the effects in my head ever ſince—I believe a turn in the garden is a better recipe than the fumes of tobacco.

Mr. H.

Well, well, we won't diſpute the matter with you now, boy—but you know I don't like milkſops.

Geo.
[ſmiling]

Nor I, Sir.

[Bows and exit.
Mr. H.
[9]

Aye, aye, George is a brave Boy—Old England is diſgraced by a ſet of whipſters who affect to deſpiſe the jolly manners of their Anceſtors, while they only ſerve to ſhew us, how greatly manners may be alter'd without being mended—

Enter JUSTICE.

'Sbud, I don't know that we are a bit wiſer, happier, or greater, than we were in good old Beſs's days—when our Men of Rank were robuſt, and our Women of Faſhion buxom.

Juſtice.

Aye, aye, a plague on all the innovations that tend to produce a race of pretty follows inſtead of Engliſhmen—and puny girls, for the Mothers of Heroes—Give me a roſy buxom laſs, with eyes that ſparkle like the glaſſes we toaſt her in—adad, I'd drink her health till the world danced round like a top—But, what a plague, 'Squire, d'ye ſtay here for? come into t'other room, and if you have a mind to make wiſe ſpeeches there, we can drink in the mean time, and then what you ſay will have a proper effect.

Mr. H.

Well, well, I'll go, but I want to conſult you—I have been thinking whether this Greenwood eſtate—

Juſ.

Tuſh—you know very well, I can neither conſider or adviſe, till I have had my brace—I am as dark, till the liquor ſends its ſpirits into my brains, as a lantern without its candle—ſo, if you've any knotty point to propoſe, keep it till I'm enlighten'd.

Mr. H.

Well, come along.

[Going. Enter Clerk.]
Cl.

The people from the Crown, Sir, and the Roſe, and the Antelope, are here again about their licences.

Juſ.
[To Mr. H.]

There—this is what I got by coming for you—I charged the Butler not to l [...]t this dog in.

—[to the clerk]

Why, how can I help it?—bid 'em come again to-morrow—'tis of no conſequence.

Cl.

And here's a Pauper to be paſs'd—a lame Man with four Children.

Har.

Well, turn him over to the Cook, and let him wait till we are at leiſure.

Cl.

And a Conſtable has brought up a man, for breaking into farmer Thompſon's barn laſt night.

Juſ.

Has he?

[ſeeming irreſolute]

well, tell him to wait too—we are going to be buſv now, and can't be diſturb'd. But bid him take care he doesn't let the priſoner eſcape, as he did that dog Farlow, d'ye hear?

Cl.
[10]

Yes, Sir—but—Juſtice Manly is now in the ſmoaking-room—I've ſpoke to him about the licences, and we may'nt have another bench this—

Juſ.

Will you pleaſe to march, Sir?

[Exit Clerk.
Mr. H

Well done, old Boy—Burn himſelf could not have diſpatch'd buſineſs with more expedition.

[Going. Enter Servant.
Ser.

The Miller is here, Sir, with a man that he cotch'd with a hate that he had taken in the ſpringe—but the poor fellow, pleaſe your Honour, has a large family.

[Hargr. and the Juſtice return.
Mr. H.

What! a Hare—Come along, Juſtice.

[Exit another way.
A burſt of laughter from the ſmoaking room.—the Juſtice looks wiſtfully back, and then follows Mr. Hargrave.
SCENE, the Garden.
Enter GEORGE reading.
Geo.

Here's a ſpecial Fellow of a Philoſopher now—would perſuade that Pleaſure has no exiſtence, when bounteous Nature teems with her—ſhe courts my ſenſes in a thouſand varied modes—She poſſeſſes herſelf of my underſtanding in the ſhape of Reaſon—and ſhe ſeizes my heart in the form of Woman, dear, beauteous, all-ſubduing Woman. And there is one—Memory, be faithful to her charms! Shew me the beauteous form, the animated face, the mind that beam'd in her eyes—the bluſhing ſmile that repaid my admiration, and raiſed an altar in my heart, on which every other paſſion is ſacrificed—on which every hope, deſire, and wiſh, is ſanctified by her.

Enter BELLA.
Bella.

Oh, monſtrous—George Hargrave moralizing in the garden, whilſt the fineſt girl in England is in the parlour!—what is become of your gallantry?

Geo.

Gone, ſweet Couſin, gone.

Bel.

Indeed! who has robb'd you of it?

Geo.

A Woman.

Bel.

Come then, and regain it from a Woman, and ſuch a Woman—

Geo.

Is ſhe ſo beautiful?

Bel.

Beautiful! look at me,—I myſelf am not ſo handſome.

Geo.

Ha! ha! ha!—that, I confeſs, is an infallible criterion.—But I'll bet this whole volume of Wiſdom, [11] againſt one of your Billet-doux, that ſhe's not within fifty degrees of her who witch'd away my heart.

Bel.

Witch'd it indeed, if in ſix weeks it has not made one excurſion—I never knew you ſo conſtant before. However, I propheſy her charm is broke; the Divinity who will reign—perhaps for another ſix weeks—is coming down the ſteps with Harriet—but, that her rays may not dazzle your mortal ſight, ſhelter yourſelf behind the clump, and examine her.

[George goes and returns.

Well, how d'ye like her?

Geo.

Like her!—the air is all Ambroſia—every happy conſtellation is in conjunction—each bounteous ſtar has lent its influence, and Venus guided the event.

Bel.

Heyday—what event? Sure this cannot be your Maſquerade Lady!

Geo.

It is, it is—ſhe is the ſweet Thief—ſhe is my Wood Nymph—Oh, I am tranſported!

Bel.

And I—amazed!—how can it—

Geo.

No matter how—whether by chance or witchcraft—Now could I apoſtrophize—Pſhaw—away, and at her feet—theſe tranſports—

[Going.
Enter Mr. DRUMMOND.
Mr. Drum.

So, ſo, ſo,—and pray, what's the cauſe of theſe tranſports?

Geo.

You are the cauſe—'tis to you, my dear Mr. Drummond, I am indebted for the happineſs which dawns on me.

Mr. Drum.

Then, God grant, my dear Boy, the dawn may not deceive thee—I wiſh it to brighten into the faireſt day—But how have I been inſtrumental to all this?

Geo.

That Lady I have ſeen before at a Maſquerade—She poſſeſſed herſelf of my heart at once, but I deſpair'd of ever beholding her again—Pray preſent me—

[Going.]
Mr. Drum.

Hold, George, hold—perhaps you'd better never be preſented; for, tho' you may have put her in poſſeſſion of your heart, 'tis by no means an evidence, that ſhe has had the ſame complaiſance for you—Suppoſe, for inſtance, ſuch a trifle as hers being engaged.

Bella.

Oh unconſcionable! to fancy the galloping imagination of a man in love, capable of ſo reoſonable a ſuppoſition!—But, pray have ſo much decency, George, to poſtpone your entrée till you are more compoſed, I'll [12] go, and prepare her for the reception of a ſtrange creature, that you may appear to advantage.

[Exit.
Geo.

Advantage! oh, I will hope every advantage, from ſo fortunate a chance—her heart cannot—ſhall not be engaged—and ſhe ſhall be mine—Pardon, my dear Sir, theſe effuſions of my joy.

Mr. D.

I do pardon them—'tis an odd circumſtance,—Are you acquainted with the Lady's name?

Geo.

No one knew her—She ſeemed like an Angel deſcended to aſtoniſh her beholders, and vaniſh the moment ſhe had fixt their hearts—Unluckily Mrs. Fitzherbert ſtopt me, and a jealous coxcomb in her train ſeized that moment, to hurry her out of the room.

Mr. D.

That misfortune, perhaps, I can repair—but you ſeem ſo extravagantly diſpoſed to raptures, that I hardly dare tell you I know ſomething of her family.

Geo.

I am rejoiced—for I am convinced you know nothing that will not juſtify my paſſion.

Mr. D.

This eagerneſs to helieve might have been ſo fatal, that I tremble fer you—But you are fortunate—ſhe is the Daughter of a deceaſed Major Morley—a man, to whoſe friendſhip, and elegance of manners, I was indebted for happy and rational hours, amidſt the buſtle of a Camp.

Geo.

Fortunate indeed! for then my paſſion muſt have your ſanction—but I thought you had not known—

Mr. D.

I knew her Father's picture on her arm—but her delicacy is ſo alarmed at the idea of expoſing the name of her Family in ſuch a ſituation, that ſhe would not conſent to be introduced here, but on condition of its being conceal'd.

Geo.

Charming delicacy! I will keep her ſecret. My only conſolation was, that ſuch a Woman could not be long concealed, and it would have been the buſineſs of my life, till I had diſeover'd her—

but your goodneſs has brought about the event—your goodneſs, to which I owe more than—

Mr. D.

Nay, ſtop your acknowledgements, and don't arrogate to your own merits the affection I have for you; for, tranſcendent as without doubt they are, you owe great part of it to circumſtances, in which they have very little concern.

Geo.

I am contented to hold your eſt [...]em by any tie—But, dear Sir, the Lady—

Mr. D.

Impatient Rogue!—Well, come, I'll introduce you, and may the moment be auſpicious!

[Exit.
Geo.
[13]

May it! Oh Love, ſweet Tyrant! I yield my heart to thee a willing ſlave—to Love I devote my future life—never more ſhall I experience the aching void of indifference, or know one moment unoccupied by thee.

[Exit.
END OF THE FIRST ACT.

ACT II.

SCENE, a Court before the Houſe.
Enter a HUNT. A Flouriſh of Horns.
Hollo! hollo! ye hoicks, Hargrave, ille, ille, hoa.
Firſt Hanter.

ZOUNDS, 'tis almoſt ſeven;—

[looking at his watch]

the ſcent will be cold—let's rouſe the lazy rogue with a long.

Second Hunt.

Aye, a good thought—come, begin.

SONG.
Arouſe, and break the bands of ſleep;
Bluſh, Idler, bluſh, ſuch hours to keep.
Somnus! what bliſs canſt thou beſtow,
Equal to that which Hunters know,
Whether the mountains they attain,
Or ſwiftly dart acroſs the plain?
Somnus! what joys canſt thou beſtow,
Equal to thoſe which Hunters know?
Hark thro' the wood, how our muſic reſounds!
The horns re-ecchoed, more ſweet by the hounds.
Deep-throated and clear,
Our ſpirits they cheer;
They give us ſuch glec,
No danger we ſee,
But follow with pleaſure:
'Tis joy beyond meaſure
To be the firſt in at the death—at the death,
To be, &c.
Enter GEORGE from the Houſe.
Firſt Gent.

Hah, my young Hercules!—But how now, in this dreſs! don't you hunt with us?

Geo.
[14]

Oh, I have only changed liveries,—I uſed to wear that of Adonis—but now I ſerve his miſtreſs—Venus.

Second Gent.

And a moſt hazardous ſervice you have choſen—I would rather ſubject myſelf to the fate of Acteon, than to the caprice and inſolence of the handſomeſt Coquette in England.

Geo.

Acteon's fate would be leſs than you'd deſerve, if, knowing my Goddeſs, you ſhould dare profane her with ſuch epithets.

Second Gent.

May I never ſtart Puſs, if I believe your Goddeſs to be more than a very Woman—that is, a being whoſe ſoul is vanity—taſte, voluptuouſneſs—form, deceitful—and manners, unnatural.

Geo.

Heyday!—turn'd Satyriſt on the ſex at eight and twenty!—What jilting Blowſalind has work'd this miracle?

Second Gent.

Faith, I take my copies from higher ſchools—Amongſt the Blowſalinds there is ſtill Nature and Honeſty—but examine our Drawing-rooms, Operas, and Water-drinking places—you'll find the firſt turn'd fairly out of doors, and the laſt exchanged for Affectation and Hypocriſy—ſo henceforward

[ſmacking his whip]

I abandon all Ladies, but thoſe of the woods, and chaſe only the harmleſs game, to which my ſagacious hounds conduct me.

[Exit.
Geo.

Ha! ha!—and in a ſhort time be fit ſociety for your hounds only. Good morning, Sir.

Enter Mr. HARGRAVE and the Juſtice.
Mr. H.

So, George—Come, you'd better mount—I'll give you a Lecture upon Air, and the advantages of a good Conſtitution, on our Downs, worth all you cou'd hear in a muſty College theſe fifty years.

Geo.

I beg, Sir, to be excus'd this morning—tomorrow I'll reſume my uſual poſt, and lead where you only will venture to follow me.

Mr. H.

Well—we ſhall put you to the teſt.

[Exit.
Juſtice to Geo.

Yes, yes, you're a keen Sportſman—I ſaw the Game you are in purſuit of, ſcudding away to the garden—beat the buſhes, and I'll warrant you'll ſtart her, and run her down too.

Third Gent.

Egad! I ſtarted a fine young Puſs a few days ago—She ſeem'd ſhy, and made her doublings; but I ſtuck to the ſcent, and ſhou'd infallibly have got her, if that ſly poaching togue, Drummond, had not laid a ſpringe in her way.

Juſtice.
[15]

Why, ſhe's the very Puſs I mean; he hous'd her here.

[Exit.
Third Gent.

Oh, ho! then I ſuppoſe he only pointed the game for you—Sweet Sir, your humble—After College commons, a coarſer diſh than Pheaſant, I think, might have gone down.

Geo.

Your whip, Sir—your bit wants laſhing. To talk thus of Mr. Drummond, whom you do know, is not more inſolent than your profanation of a Lady whom you do not know.

Third Gent.

O! cry you mercy—Plague take me if I quarrel for any wench in England—You are heartily welcome to her, Sir, only I hope another time you'll be honeſt, and hunt without a ſtalking-horſe.

[Exit.
Geo.

Barbarian! How critically did Mr. Drummond relieve the lovely Girl—This brute had diſcovered her, and ſhe would have ſuffered every indignity that Ignorance, ſupported by the pride of Fortune, could have inflicted. In the garden—that's fortunate beyond my expectations—'midſt groves and fountains—the very ſcene where a lover ſhould tell his tale—and the ſweet conſciouſneſs which beamed in her eyes laſt night, flatters me that ſhe will not hate me for my tale—I'll go in all the confidence of hope.

[Exit.
SCENE, the Garden.
Enter EMILY.
Em.

What an heavenly morning!—ſurely'tis in England that Summer keeps her court—for ſhe's no where elſe ſo lovely.—And what a ſweet garden this is!—But tell me, my heart—is it the brightneſs of the morning, the verdure of the garden, the melody of the birds, that gives thee theſe enchanting ſenſations?—Ah, no!—it is that thou haſt found thy Lord—it is, that I have again ſeen the Man, who, ſince I firſt beheld him, has been the only image in my mind.—How different from the empty, the preſuming Baldwin!—yet, I owe him this obligation—if his hateful perſeverance had not forced me from London, I might never have ſeen, but once, the Man who, that once, poſſeſs'd himſelf of my tendereſt wiſhes.—Ha!

[ſtarting.]
Enter GEORGE.
Geo.

Abroad ſo early, Madam!—the fine Ladies in London are yet in their firſt ſleep.

Em.
[16]

It would have been impoſſible to have reſiſted the chearful call of the Hunters, if the morning had been leſs enticing.

Geo.

Oh, do not imagine yourſelf obliged to the Hunters, Madam, it was my good Genius—I thank her—that inſpired them, and did me the favour to lead me here.

Em.

If ſhe uſually influences you to no better purpoſe, her claims to your gratitude are but weak.

Geo.

'Till lately I thought ſo, and ſuppoſed myſelf influenced by the worſt Genius that ever fell to the lot of a poor mortal—but ſhe has entirely retrieved herſelf in my opinion, and by two or three capital ſtrokes has made me forget her unlucky pranks, and believe her one of the beſt diſpoſed Sylphs in all the regions of Fancy.

Em.
[ſmiling.]

You recommend this aërial attendant very ſtrongly—Have you any intention to part from her?

Geo.

I would willingly exchange her—if your Genius would be ſo obliging to take a fancy to me—I'll accept her with all my heart—and give you mine.

Em.

You wou'd loſe by the exchange.

Geo.

Impoſſible!—for my quondam friend would ſay a thouſand things for me, that I could not for myſelf—ſo I ſhould gain your good opinion—and that would be well gained, whatever I might loſe to attain it.

Em.

Your Genius is, at leaſt, a gallant one, I perceive—but

I was on the point of leaving the garden, Sir.—The Ladies, I imagine, are riſen by this time.

Geo.

Indeed they are not, but if they ſhould—theſe are precious moments, which I muſt not loſe—may I preſume to uſe them in telling you how happy I am, in the event which placed you in my Father's houſe?—but you have, perhaps, forgot the preſumptuous Tancred, who gave ſuch diſturbance to the Gentleman honour'd by protecting you, at the Maſquerade?

Em.

No, Sir, I remember—and, if I don't miſtake, you were nearly engaged in a fracas with that Gentleman—I was happy, when I obſerv'd you ſtopt by a maſk, and ſeized that moment to leave the room.

Geo.

A moment, Madam, that I have never ceas'd to regret 'till now—but that which I at preſent poſſeſs, is a felicity ſo unexpected, and unhop'd for—

Em.
[17]

You forget, Sir, theſe gallantries are out of place here—under a maſk, a Shepherd may ſigh, or an Eaſtern Prince amuſe himſelf in ſaying the moſt extravagant things—but they know there are delicacies to be obſerved in real life, quite incompatible with the freedoms of a Maſquerade.

Geo.

Whilſt you are thus ſevere on mere gallantries, I will venture to hope that a moſt tender and reſpectful paſſion will be treated more favourably.

Em.

Sir!

Geo.

I comprehend, Madam, what your delicacy muſt feel, and will therefore only add, that from the firſt moment I beheld you, my heart has known no other object. You have been the Miſtreſs of its Wiſhes—and you are the Miſtreſs of its Fate.

Em.
(heſitatingly)

Indeed, Sir, this declaration, at a time when I muſt appear in ſo ſtrange a light to your family, hurts me greatly—I can ſcarcely believe you mean it a compliment—but, ſurely, my ſituation here ought—

Geo.

I acknowledge, Madam, the confeſſion I have dared to make, is premature—it is ill timed—nothing can excuſe it, but the peculiarity of our ſituation.—When I reflect, that in a few moments your Uncle may arrive, that he may ſnatch you from us, and that ſuch an opportunity never may be mine again—

[Enter Mr. Drummond.
Mr. D.

So, ſo, my young ones, have I found you? 'tis a moſt delicious morning—but is it uſual with you, Madam, to taſte the air ſo early?

Em.

Yes, Sir—in the Country, at leaſt—I ſeldom murder ſuch hours in ſleep.

Mr. D.

Aye, 'tis to that practice you are indebted for the roſes in your cheeks—What, I ſuppoſe, you brought the Lady into the garden, George, to read her a iecture on Vegetation—to explain the nature and cauſe of Heat—or, perhaps, more abſtracted ſubjects have engaged—

Geo.

Stop, dear Sir—I aſſure you I am not abſtracted enough to enter on theſe ſubjects with ſuch an object before me—I found the Lady here, and had ſcarcely paid her my morning compliments when you appeared.

Mr. D.

For which you do not thank me, I preſume—but come, Madam, you are my ward, 'till I have the pleaſure of preſenting you to your Uncle; and I come to conduct you to breakfaſt. George, you may follow; but take care you keep your diſtance.

[Exeunt Mr. D. and Emily.
Geo.

Diſtance!—as well might you perſuade the ſhadow to forſake its Sun, or erring mortals give up hopes of mercy. [18] —With what ſweet confidence ſhe gives her hand to Mr Drummond!—if theſe are the privileges of Age, I'll be young no longer.

[Exit.
SCENE, Lady DINAH's Dreſſing-Room.
Lady Dinah dreſſing, Suſan attending.
Lady Dinah.

Both in the garden—and in deep converſation!

Suſan.

It appear'd ſo, my Lady, as I ſaw them from the window—he looked eagerly in her face; and ſhe bluſh'd, and ſeem'd confuſed.

Lady D.

Confuſed indeed!—yes, ſo the Impertinent affected to appear laſt night—tho' it was evident ſhe had neither eyes nor thoughts but for Mr. Hargrave's Son—who paid her thoſe attentions which, from the preſent habits of life, are paid to every Woman—tho', I think, Mr. George Hargrave ſhould be ſuperior to theſe modern gallantries.

Suſ.

I dares to ſay ſhe is ſome impoſtor—Huſbands in good truth are not ſo plenty, that a woman need run away to eſcape one.

Lady D.

I have no doubt of her being a low perſon—and as to her prettineſs, 'tis of the kind one ſees in wooden Dolls—cherry-colour cheeks, and eyes, that from the total abſence of expreſſion might be taken for glaſs.

Suſ.

I wonder Mr. Hargrave did not ſtand by his own opinion, and let her ſtay where ſhe was; but whatever Mr. Drummond ſays is law here.

Lady D.

Becauſe Mr. Hargrave imagines he'll make his Son his heir—but if he does, he'll only ſhare with the paupers of the neighbouring villages; for theſe Mr. Drummond ſeems to conſider his family; and I am miſtaken, if he does n't find it a pretty expenſive one.

Suſ.

Oh, Ma'am, he believes every melancholy tale that's told him as a proof of his piety—Here's the Bow, my Lady—but as he fancies her prettyneſs was in danger, he had better have kept her in his own houſe, and ſtood guard himſelf.

Lady D.

Aye—that employment, or any other that would keep him at home, might be uſeful—Want of reſt

[looking in the glaſs]

abſolutely transforms me—the deteſtable Horns, and their noiſy accompanyment, waked me from the moſt delightful dream—How do I look to-day, Suſan?

Suſ.

Oh, charmingly, my Lady.

Lady D.
[19]

'Tis a moſt provoking circumſtance, the colour of my hair ſhould be ſo ſoon changed—but Mrs. Gibſon's Liquid entirely hides that accident, I believe.

Suſ.

Entirely, my Lady—and then, her Bloom, it is impoſſible to diſtinguiſh from nature.

Lady D.

You need not ſpeak ſo loud. In compliance with the cuſtom of modern times, a woman is forced to keep the uſe of theſe ſort of things as ſecretly as ſhe would an Illegitimate Birth. It was not ſo among the Antients—The Roman Ladies made a point of excelling in Arts of this kind; and the Empreſs Poppea was not aſhamed to carry in her train five hundred Aſſes, in whoſe milk ſhe bathed every morning for the benefit of her complexion.

Suſ.

Five hundred Aſſes in one Lady's train!—thank Heaven, we have no ſuch engroſſing now-a-days—our Toaſts have all their full ſhare.

Lady D.

Indeed! Mrs. Suſan,

[half ſmiling]

this wench has ideas. Pray, what do you think of the young Collegian?

Suſ.

Oh, my Lady, he is the ſweeteſt, ſmarteſt Man—I think he is exactly like the picture of your Ladyſhip's Brother, that died when he was eighteen.

Lady D.

People uſed to ſay that Brother, and myſelf, bore a ſtrong reſemblance.

Suſ.

I dare to ſay you did, my Lady; for there's ſomething in the turn of young Mr. Hargrave's face, vaſtly like your Ladyſhip's.

[laughing behind her.]
Lady D.

Well, Suſan—I believe I may truſt you—I think you can be faithful.

Suſ.

Moſt ſurely, my Lady—I would rather die than betray your Ladyſhip.

Lady D.

Well, then—I proteſt I hardly know how to acknowledge it—But—

Suſan.

But what, my Lady?—your Ladyſhip alarms me.

Lady D.

I too am alarm'd—but I know your faith—

[ſighs.]

There will ſoon be a moſt intimate and never to be diſſolved connexion between me—and—young Mr. Hargrave.

Suſ.

Young Mr. Hargrave, Madam!

Lady D.

Yes, Young Mr. Hargrave, Madam—What doſt ſtretch thy eyes ſo widely at, wench?—Mr. George Hargrave, I ſay, is to be my Huſband—I am to be his Wife—Is it paſt thy comprehenſion?

Suſ.
[20]

I moſt humbly beg your Ladyſhip's pardon—it was my ſurpriſe—the whole houſe concludes your Ladyſhip is to marry Old Mr. Hargrave—but, to be ſure, the Son is a much more ſuitable match for your Ladyſhip.

Lady D.

Old Mr. Hargrave, indeed!—the whole houſe is very impertinent in its concluſions—Go, and bring the Bergamot hither.

[Exit Suſ.]

I marry Old Mr. Hargrave! monſtrous abſurdity! and by ſo prepoſterous an union to become the mother of that fine fellow, his Son!—'twould be inſupportable—no, Miſtreſs Suſan, 'tis Young Mr. Hargrave I am to marry.

[Enter Suſan with the Bergamot.]

—Here, ſcent that handkerchief, while I write to my agent to prepare matters for the writings.

[Exit. Suſan alone, ſcenting the handkerchief.
Suſ.

To prepare matters for the writings! a very fine buſineſs indeed; and what you'll ſorely repent of, my good Lady, take my word for it—All thoſe ſcented waters, nor any other waters, will be able to keep up your ſpirits this time twelvemonth—A "never to be diſſolved connexion," between fifty and twenty-one, ha! ha! ha!—I ſhall burſt with the ridiculous ſecret—I muſt find Jarvis, and give it vent—"never to be diſſolved connexion!"—ha, ha, ha!

[Exit.
SCENE, an Apartment.
Enter GEORGE, HARRIET, and BELLA.
Bel.

What transformations this Love can make! You look as grave, George, and ſpeak as ſententiouſly, as an Old-Bailey Fortune-teller.

Geo.

And is it only to preſerve your ſpirits, Bella, that you keep your heart ſo cold?

Bel.

The recipe is certainly not a bad one, if we may judge from the effects of the oppoſite element on your ſpirits—but I adviſe you, whatever you do, not to aſſume an appearance of gravity—'tis the moſt dangerous character in the world.

Geo.

How ſo?

Bel.

Oh, the advantages you would loſe by it are incon-conceivable. While you can ſuſtain that of a giddy, thoughtleſs, undeſigning, great Boy, all the impertinent and fooliſh things you commit will be excus'd—laugh'd at—nay, if accompanied by a certain manner, they will be applauded—but do the ſame things with a grave reflecting face, and [...]n [...]por [...]nt air—and you'll be condemn'd, n [...]m. con.

[21] Enter Servant.
Serv.

Sir Charles Seymour is driving up the avenue, Sir.

[Exit.
Geo.

Is he?—I am rejoiced—

Har.

Sir Charles Seymour, Brother?—I thought you told us yeſterday he was on the point of marriage.

Geo.

Well, my dear Harriet, and what then? Is his being on the point of marriage any reaſon why he ſhould not be here?—he is even now haſtening to pay his devoirs to the Lady—I left him yeſterday at a friend's houſe on the road, and he promiſed to call on us in his way to-day—but I hear him—

[Exit.
Bel.

Harriet, you look quite pale—I had no conception that Sir Charles was of ſerious conſequence to you.

Har.

My dear Bella—I am aſhamed of myſelf—I'll go with you to your dreſſing-room—I muſt not ſee him while I look ſo ridiculouſly—I dread my Brother's raillery.

Bel.

Come then, hold by me. Deuce take it, what buſineſs have women with hearts?—If I could influence the Houſe, handſome men ſhould be ſhut out of ſociety, 'till they grew harmleſs, by becoming Huſbands.

[Exeunt.
[Enter GEORGE and Sir CHARLES.
Geo.

Ha! the birds are flown.

Sir Cha.

Let us purſue 'em then.

Geo.

Pho—they are not worth purſuing—Bella's a Coquette, and Harriet's in love.

Sir Ch.

Harriet in love!

Geo.

Aye, ſhe's in for't, depend on't—but that's nothing, I have intelligence for the man—my Incognita's found, ſhe's now in the houſe—my beauteous Wood Nymph!

Sir Ch.

Miſs Hargrave's heart another's!

Geo.

Miſs Hargrave's heart another's—why, my Siſter's heart is certainly engaged—but how's all this?

Sir Ch.

O George! I love—I love your Siſter—to diſtraction, doat on her.

Geo.

A pretty time, for the mountain to give up its burthen truly! Why did you not tell me this before? If your heart had been as open to me, as mine has ever been to you—I might have ſerv'd you; but now—

Sir Ch.

Oh, reproach me not, but pity me—I love your Siſter—long have lov'd her.

Geo.

And not intruſt your love to me!—You diſtruſted me, Charles, and you'll be properly puniſh'd.

Sir Ch.
[22]

Severely am I puniſh'd—fool, fool, that I was, thus to have built a ſuperſtructure of happineſs for all my life to come, that in one moment diſſolves into air! I cannot ſee your Siſter—I muſt leave you.

Geo.

Indeed, you ſhall not leave me, Seymour—On what grounds did you build your hopes, that you ſeem ſo greatly diſappointed?—Had my Siſter accepted your addreſſes?

Sir Ch.

No—I never preſumed to make her any—my fortune was ſo ſmall, that I had no hopes of obtaining your Father's conſent—and therefore made it a point of honour not to endeavour to gain her affection.

Geo.

Yes, yes, you took great care.

[aſide.
Sir Ch.

But my Uncle's death having removed every cauſe of fear on that head, I flatter'd myſelf I had nothing elſe to apprehend.

Geo.

Courage, my friend, and your difficulties may vaniſh. 'Tis your humble diſtant lovers who have ſung thro' every age of their ſcornful Phillis's—You never knew a bold fellow, who could love Women without miſtaking 'em for Angels, whine about their cruelty.

Sir Ch.

Do you not tell me your Siſter's heart is engaged?—Then what have I to ſtruggle for? it was her heart I wiſh'd to poſſeſs. Could Miſs Hargrave be indelicate enough, which I am ſure ſhe could not, to beſtow her hand on me without it, I would reject it.

Geo.

Bravo!—nobly reſolved! keep it up by all means.—Come how, I'll introduce you to one of the fineſt Girls you ever ſaw in your life—but remember you are not to ſuffer your heart to be intereſted there, for that's my quarry—and death to the man who attempts to rob me of my prize!

Sir Ch.

Oh, you are very ſecure, I aſſure you—my heart is adamant from this moment.

[Exeunt.
The Garden. Enter HARGRAVE and a Servant.
Mr. Har.

Run and tell my Son I want to ſpeak to him here di [...]ectly

[exit Serv.]

Her forty thouſand pounds will juſt enable me to buy the Greenwood Eſtate,—and to my certa [...]n knowledge, that young Rakehelly won't be able to keep it to his back much longer. We ſhall then have more land than any family in the country, and a Borough of our own into the bargain. Humph—But ſuppoſe George ſhould not have a mind to marry her now? Why then,—why then—as to his mind, when two parties differ, the weaker muſt give way—the match is for the advancement of your fortune, ſays I; and if it can't ſatisfy your mind, you muſt teach it what I have always taught you—obedience.—

[Enter GEO.]

[23] Oh, George, I ſent for you into the garden, that we might have no interruptions; for, as I was ſaying, there's an affair of conſequence I want to talk to you about.

Geo.

I am all attention, Sir.

Mr. H.

I don't deſign that you ſhall return to College any more—I have other views, which I hope will not be diſagreeable to you—You—you like Lady Dinah, you ſay?

Geo.
[heſitatingly]

She is a Lady of great erudition, without doubt.

Mr. H.

I don't know what your notions may be of her age; I could wiſh her a few years younger, but—

Geo.

Pardon me, Sir, I think there can be no objection to her age; and the preference her Ladyſhip gives to our family, is certainly a high compliment.

Mr. H.

Ho, ho, then you are acquainted already with what I was going to communicate to you—I am ſurpriſed at that.

Geo.

Matrimonial negotiations, Sir, are ſeldom long concealed; 'tis a ſubject on which every body is fond of talking—the young, in hopes that their turn will come;—and thoſe who are older—

Mr. H.

By way of giving a fillip to their memories, I ſuppoſe you mean, George, ch?—well, I am glad you are ſo merry; I was a little uneaſy about what you might think of this affair—tho' I never mention'd it in my life—but perhaps, Lady Dinah may have hinted it to her woman, and then I ſhould not wonder if the whole pariſh knew it. However, you have no objection, and that's enough—tho' if you had, I muſt have had my way, George.

Geo.

Without doubt, Sir.

Mr. H.

Have you ſpoken to Lady Dinah on the ſubject?

Geo.

Spoke—n—o, Sir, I could not think of addreſſing Lady Dinah on ſo delicate an affair without your permiſſion.

Mr. H.

Well then, my dear Boy—I would have you ſpeak to her now, and, I think, the ſooner the better.

Geo.

To be ſure, Sir—I ſhall obey you—

Mr. H.

Well, you have ſet my heart at reſt—I am as happy as a Prince—I never fixt my mind on any thing in my life, ſo much as I have done on this marriage—and it would have gall'd me ſorely if you had been againſt it—but you are a good Boy, George, a very good Boy, and I'll go in, and prepare Lady Dinah for your viſit.

[Exit.
Geo.

Why, my dear Father, you are quite elated on the proſpect of your nuptials—but why muſt I make ſpeeches to Lady Dinah? I am totally ignorant of the mode that elderly Gentlemen adopt on ſuch occaſions.

[24] Enter BELLA.
Bel.

What, have you been opening your heart to your Father, George?

Geo.

No, faith—he has been opening his to me—He has been making me the confident of his paſſion for Lady Dinah.

Bel.

No! ha, ha, ha—is it poſſible?—what ſtyle does he talk in? is it flames and darts, or eſteem and ſentiment?

Geo.

I don't imagine my good Father thinks of either—her fortune, I preſume, is his object; and I ſhall not venture to hint an objection; for contradiction, you know, only lends him freſh ardor. Where is Seymour and Harriet?

Bel.

Your Siſter is in the drawing-room, and Sir Charles I juſt now ſaw in the Orange-walk, with his arms folded thus—and his eyes fixt on a ſhrub, in the moſt penſeroſo ſtyle you can conceive—Why—he has no appearance of a happy youth on the verge of Bridegroomiſm.

Geo.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Bel.

Why do you laugh?

Geo.

At the embarraſment I have thrown the ſimpletons into—ha, ha, ha!

Bel.

What ſimpletons?—what embarraſment?

Geo.

That you cannot gueſs, my ſweet Couſin, with all your penetration.

Bel.

I ſhall expire, if you won't let me know it—now do—pray, George—come—be pleas'd to tell it me.

[curtſeying.
Geo.

No, no, you look ſo pretty while you are coaxing, that I muſt—muſt ſee you in that humour a little longer.

Bel.

That's unkind—come—tell me this ſecret—tho' I'll be hang'd if I don't gueſs it.

Geo.

Nay, then I muſt tell you; for if you ſhou'd find it out, I ſhall loſe the pleaſure of obliging you.—Seymour and my Siſter doat on one another—and I have made each believe, that the other has different engagements.

Bel.

Oh, I am rejoiced to hear it.

Geo.

Rejoic'd! I aſſure you, I am highly offended.

Bel.

At what? Sir Charles is your friend, and every way an eligible match for your Siſter.

Geo.

Very true—I am happy in their attachment, and therefore offended.—Sir Charles has been as chary of his ſecret, as if I had not deſerv'd his confidence.

Bel.

I believe he never addreſs'd your Siſter.

Geo.

Aye, ſo he pretends, he never made love to her—ridiculous ſubterfuge!—he ſtole into her heart by the help of thoſe ſilent tender obſervances, which are the ſureſt battery when there's time to play 'em off—If any man had thus obtain'd my Siſter's heart—left her a prey to diſappointment, [25] and then ſaid—he meant nothing—my ſword ſhould have faught him, that his conduct was not leſs diſhonourable, than if he had knelt at her feet, and ſworn a million oaths.

Bel.

Why, this might be uſeful—but, mercy upon us! if every girl had ſuch a ſnap-dragon of a Brother,—no Beaus—and very few pretty fellows would venture to come near her—pray, when did you form this miſchievous deſign?

Geo.

Oh, Sir Charles has been heaping up the meaſure of his offences ſome time—'twould have diverted you to have ſeen the tricks he play'd to get Harriet's picture—At laſt he begg'd it, to get the drapery copied for his Siſter's; and I know 'tis at this moment in his boſom, tho' he has ſworn an hundred times 'tis ſtill at the Painter's.

Bel.

Ha!—I'll fly and tell her the news—If I don't miſtake, ſhe'd rather have her picture there than in the Gallery of Beauties at Hampton.

[going.]
Geo.

Sdeath!—ſtop—Why, are not you angry?—ſhut out by parchment proviſoes from all the flutters of Courtſhip yourſelf—you had a right to participate in Harriet's.

Bel.

Very true; this might be ſufficient for me—But what pleaſure can you have in tormenting two hearts ſo attach'd to each other?

Geo.

I do mean to plague 'em a little; and it will be the greateſt favour we can do them—for they are ſuch ſentimental people—you know—that they'll bluſh, and heſitate, and torment each other, ſix months before they can come to an explanation—But, by alarming their jealouſy, they'll betray themſelves in as many hours.

Bel.

Oh, cry your mercy!—So there's not one grain of miſchief in all this; and you carry on the plan in downright charity—well, really in that light there is ſome reaſon—

Geo.

Aye, more reaſon than is neceſſary to induce you to join in it—even tho' there were miſchief—ſo promiſe me your aſſiſtance with a good grace.

Bel.

Well, I do promiſe; for I really think—

Geo.

Oh, I'll accept of very ſlight aſſurances.

Bel.

A-propos! Here's Harriet—I'm juſt as angry as you wiſh me: leave us, and you ſhall have a good account of her.

Enter HARRIET.
Har.

Brother! Mr. Drummond, I fancy, wonders at your abſence: he's alone with the Lady—

Geo.

Then he poſſeſſes a privilege that half mankind would grudge him.

[Exit.
Bel.

Have you ſeen Sir Charles yet?

Har.
[26]

Indeed I have not—I confeſs I was ſo weak, as to retire twice from the drawing-room, becauſe I heard his voice—tho' I was conſcious my abſence muſt appear odd, and fearful the cauſe might be ſuſpected.

Bel.

Ah!—pray be careful that you give him in particular no reaſon to gueſs at that—I adviſe you to treat him with the greateſt coldneſs.

Har.

Moſt certainly I ſhall, whatever it coſts me—It would be the moſt cruel mortification, if I thought he would ever ſuſpect my weakneſs—I wonder, Bella, if the Lady whom he is to marry, is ſo handſome as George deſcribes her.

Bel.

Of what conſequence is that to you, child?—never think about it; if you ſuffer your mind to be ſoften'd with reflections of that ſort, you'll never behave with a proper degree of ſcorn to him.

Har.

Oh, do not fear it; I aſſure you, I poſſeſs a vaſt deal of ſcorn for him.

Bel.

I am ſure you fib,

[aſide.]

—Well now, by way of example, he is coming this way, I ſee.

Har.

Is he?—come then, let us go.

Bel.

Yes, yes, you are quite a Heroine, I perceive—Surely you will not fly to prove your indifference?—Stay and mortify him with an appearance of careleſsneſs and good-humour—For inſtance: when he appears, look at him with ſuch an unmeaning eye, as one glances over an acquaintance ſhabbily dreſs'd at Ranelagh—and when he ſpeaks to you, look another way; and then, ſuddenly recollecting yourſelf,—What is that you were ſaying, Sir Charles? I beg pardon, I really did not attend—then, without minding his anſwer—Bella, I was thinking of that ſweet fellow who open'd the ball with Lady Harriet—Did you ever ſee ſuch eyes? and then the air with which he danced!—O Lord! I never ſhall forget him.

Har.

You'll find me a bad ſcholar, I believe—however, I'll go through the interview, if you'll aſſiſt me.

Bel.

Fear me not.

Enter Sir CHARLES.
Sir Cha.

Ladies—this is rather unexpected—I hope I don't intrude.

Bel.

Sir Charles Seymour can never be an unwelcome intruder.

Sir Cha.

Miſs Hargrave—I have not had the happineſs of paying my reſpects to you ſince I arriv'd—I hope you have enjoyed a perfect ſhare of health and ſpirits, ſince I left Hargrave-Place.

[confuſed'y.]
Har.
[27]

I never have been better, Sir; and my ſpirits are ſeldom ſo good as they are now.

[affecting gaiety.]
Sir Cha.

Your looks indeed, Madam, ſpeak you in poſſeſſion of that happineſs I wiſh you

[ſighing]

—You, Miſs Sydney, are always in ſpirits.

Bel.

In general, Sir—I have not wiſdom enough to be troubled with reflections to deſtroy my repoſe.

Sir Cha.

Do you imagine it then a proof of wiſdom to be unhappy?

Bel.

One might think ſo; for wiſe folks are always grave.

Har.

Then I'll never attempt to be wiſe—henceforward I'll be gaiety itſelf—I am de [...]ermined to devote myſelf to pleaſure, and only live to laugh.

Bel.

Perhaps you may not always find ſubjects, Couſin, unleſs you do as I do—laugh at your own abſurdities.

Har.

Oh, fear not—we need not always look at home; the world abounds with ſubjects for mirth, and the men will be ſo obliging as to furniſh a ſufficient number, when every other reſource fails.

Sir Cha.

Miſs Hargrave was not always ſo ſevere.

Har.

Fye, Sir Charles—do not miſtake pleaſanty for ſeverity—but exuberant ſpirits frequently overflow in impertinence; therefore I pardon your thinking that mine do.

Sir Cha.

Impertinence! Surely, Madam, you cannot ſuppoſe I meant to—

Har.

Nay, Bella, I appeal to you; did not Sir Charles intimate ſome ſuch thing?

Bel.

Why—a—I don't know—To be ſure there was a kind of a diſtant intimation—tho' perhaps Sir Charles only means that you are aukward—ha! ha!—But conſider, Sir, this character of Harriet's is but lately aſſumed—and new characters, like new ſtays, never ſit till they have been worn.

Sir Cha.

Very well, Ladies; I will not diſpute your right to underſtand my expreſſions in what manner you pleaſe—but I hope you will allow me the ſame—and that, when a Lady's eyes ſpeak diſdain, I may, without offence, tranſlate it into Love.

Har.

'Tis an error that men are apt to fall into; but the eyes talk in an idiom, warm from the heart; and ſo ſkilful an obſerver as Sir Charles will not miſtake their language.

Sir Cha.

Are they alike intelligible to all?

Har.

So plain, that nine times out of ten, at leaſt, miſtakes muſt be wilful.

Sir Ch.
[28]

Then pray examine mine, Madam, and by the [...]port you make I ſhall judge of your proficiency in their dialect.

Bella.

Oh—I'll examine yours, Sir Charles—I am a better judge than Harriet—let me ſee—aye—'tis ſo, in one I perceive love and jealouſy—in the other, hope and a wedding. Now am I not a Propheteſs?

Sir Ch.

Prove but one in the laſt article, and I aſk no more of Fate—now—will you read? Madam!

Har.

You are ſo intirely ſatisfied with Bella's tranſlation, Sir, that I will not run the riſk of mortifying you with a different conſtruction—come, Couſin—let us return to our company.

Bel.
[apart]

Fye! that air of pique is enough to ruin all.

Sir Ch.

Do you not find the garden agreeable, Miſs Hargrave? I begin to think it charming.

Har.

Perfectly agreeable, Sir—but the happy never fly ſociety—I wonder to ſee you alone. Come, Bella.

Bel.

Bravo!

[Exeunt Bella and Harriet.
Sir Ch.

Aſtoniſhing! What is become of that ſweetneſs—that dove-like ſoftneſs, which ſtole into my heart, and deceived me into dreams of bliſs? She flies from me, and talks of her company, and returning to her ſociety—Oh Harriet! oh my Harriet! thy ſociety is prized by me beyond that of the whole world; and ſtill to poſſeſs it, with the hope that once glowed in my boſom, would be a bleſſing for which I would ſacrifice every other, that Nature or Fortune has beſtowed.

[Exit.
END OF THE SECOND ACT.

ACT III.

SCENE, Lady DINAH's Dreſſing Room.
Lady DINAH and Mr. HARGRAVE ſitting.
Mr. Hargrave.

I AM ſurpriſed, Madam, at your thinking in this manner—when I ſpoke to my Son this morning—I aſſure you, he expreſs'd a great deal of ſatisfaction about the affair—I wonder indeed he has not been here.

Lady D.
[29]

Now, I could almoſt blame you, Mr. Hargrave—pardon me—but you have certainly been too precipitate—your Son has ſcarcely been at home four and twenty hours, and cannot poſſibly have received any impreſſion, or formed an idea of my character.—He has been ſo much engaged, indeed, with other perſons, that I have had no opportunity of converſing with him; and how, ſo circumſtanced, can he have form'd a judgment of his own heart?

Mr. H.

Good God! Madam, he has given the beſt proof in the world that he has formed a judgment; for he told me this morning, that the proſpect of the marriage made him very happy.—I don't know what other proof a man can give that he knows his own heart—and let me tell you, Madam, I have accuſtomed my children to pay a proper regard to my inclination.

Lady D.

I am apprehenſive, Sir, that Mr. George Hargrave's obedience may influence him more than I cou'd wiſh—and I aſſure you, I cannot think of uniting myſelf to any man, who does not prefer me for my own ſake, without adverting to any other conſideration.

Mr. H.

His obedience to me, influence him more than you could wiſh!—why really I don't underſtand you, my Lady—Zounds! I thought ſhe had been a ſenſible Woman.

[aſide.
Lady D.

Not underſtand me, Mr. Hargrave! I have too high an opinion of your good ſenſe, to ſuppoſe that I am unintelligible to you.

Mr. H.

My opinion, Madam, is, that an obedient Son is likely to make a kind Huſband—George is a fine young fellow as any in England, though I his father ſay it,—and there's not a woman in the kingdom, who might not be proud to call him her huſband—too obedient—

Lady D.

Bleſs me! this man has no ideas

[aſide.]

—You miſtake me, Mr. Hargrave; I do not mean to leſſen the merit of obedience in your Son—but, I confeſs, I wiſh him to have a more delicate, a more tender motive, for offering his hand to me.

Mr. H.

Look ye, Madam—you have a great underſtanding, to be ſure—and I confeſs you talk above my reach—but I muſt nevertheleſs take the liberty to blame your Ladyſhip;—a perſon of your Ladyſhip's experience—and, allow me to ſay, your date in the world, muſt know that there are occaſions in which we ſhould not be too nice.

Lady D.

Too nice! Mr. Hargrave—

[riſing.
Mr. H.
[30]

Aye—too nice, my Lady,—a Boy and Girl of ſixteen, have time before 'em—they may be whimſical, and be off and on, and play at ſhilly-ſhally as long as they have a mind.—But, my Lady, at a certain ſeaſon we muſt leave off theſe tricks, or be content to go to the grave old Batchelors and—

[ſhrugging his ſhoulders.
Lady D.

I am utterly aſtoniſhed, Mr. Hargrave—you ſurely mean to offend me—you inſult me.

Mr. H.

No—by no means—I would not offend your Ladyſhip for the world—I have the higheſt reſpect for you, and ſhall rejoice to call you my Daughter—if you are not ſo, it will be your own fault—for George, I am ſure, is ready the moment you will give your conſent—The writings ſhall be drawn when you think proper, and the marriage conſummated without delay.

Lady D.

Well, Sir—I really do not know what to ſay—when Mr. George Hargrave ſhall imagine it a proper period to talk to me on the ſubject—I—I—

Mr. H.

Well, well, Madam—I allow this is a topic on which a Lady does not chuſe to explain herſelf but to the principal—I waited on your Ladyſhip only to inform you that I had talked to my Son concerning the affair, and to incline you, when he waits on you, to give him a favourable hearing.

Lady D.

Mr. Hargrave—a perſon of your Son's merit is entitled to a proper attention from any Woman he addreſſes.

Mr. H.

There—now we are right again—I was fearful that you had not liked my Boy—and that your difficulties aroſe from that quarter—but ſince you like George, 'tis all very well, very well.

Lady D.

Mr. Hargrave!—I am ſurpriſed at your conceiving ſo unjuſt an idea—Mr. George Hargrave is, as you have ſaid, a match for any woman, whatever be her rank.

Mr. H.

My dear Lady Dinah—I am quite happy to hear you ſay ſo—I am ſure George loves you—odds bobs, I hear him on the ſtairs—I'll go and ſend him to you this moment, and he ſhall tell you ſo himſelf—you'll ſurely believe him.

[Exit.
Lady D.

Mr. Hargrave, Mr. Hargrave—bleſs me, what an impetuous obſtinate old Man—what can I do?—I am in an exceedingly indelicate ſituation—he will tell his Son that I am waiting here in expectation of a declaration of love from him—Sure never woman was in ſo aukward an embarras—I wiſh the Son poſſeſſed a little of the Father's impetuoſity—this would not then have happened.

[31] Enter GEORGE.
Geo.

Your Ladyſhip's moſt obedient ſervant.

Lady D.

S—i—r

[curtſeying confuſedly]
Geo.

My Father permits me, Madam, to make my acknowledgments to your Ladyſhip, for the honour you deſign our Family.

Lady D.

I muſt confeſs, Sir, this interview is ſomewhat unexpected—it is indeed quite premature—I was not prepared for it, and I am really in great confuſion.

Geo.

I am ſenſible, Madam, a viſit of this kind to a Lady of your delicacy muſt be a little diſtreſſing—but I intreat you to be compoſed—I hope you will have no reaſon to regret a reſolution which myſelf, and the reſt of the family, have ſo much cauſe to rejoice in—and I aſſure your Ladyſhip, every thing on my part, that can contribute to your felicity, you ſhall always command.

Lady D.

You are very polite, Sir—We have had ſo little opportunity of converſing, Mr. Hargrave, that I am afraid you expreſs rather your Father's ſentiments than your own. It is impoſſible, indeed, from ſo ſhort a knowledge, that you can have formed any ſentiments of me yourſelf.

Geo.

Pardon me, Madam, my ſentiments for you are full of reſpect—and I am convinced your qualities will excite the veneration of all who have the honour of being connected with you. My Father could hardly have done it better.

[aſide.]
Lady D.

Why, this young Man has certainly been taught to make love by his Tutor at College.

[aſide.]
Geo.

I am concerned this viſit ſeems ſo embarraſſing to your Ladyſhip—I certainly ſhould have deferr'd it, from an apprehenſion of its being diſagreeable, but, in obedience to my Father, I—

Lady D.

Then it is to your Father, Sir, that I am indebted for the favour of ſeeing you.

Geo.

By no means, Madam—it would certainly have been my inclination to have waited on your Ladyſhip, but my Father's wiſhes induced me to haſten it.

Lady D.

Really! a pretty extraordinary confeſſion!

[aſide.]

—I think it neceſſary to aſſure you, Sir, that—that this affair has been brought thus forward by Mr. Hargrave—and the propoſals he made, in which it was evident, his whole heart was concern'd, were quite unexpected.

Geo.

I have not the leaſt doubt of it, Madam, nor am I at all ſurpriſed at my Father's earneſtneſs, on a ſubject ſo intereſting—What can ſhe mean by apologizing to me?

[aſide.]
Lady D.
[32]

It would certainly have been proper, Sir, to have allowed you time to have formed a judgment yourſelf, on a point which coucerns you ſo highly.

Geo.

The time has been quite ſufficient, Madam—I highly approve the ſteps my Father has taken—but if I did not, the reſpect I bear to his determination would certainly have prevented my oppoſing them. I muſt end this extraordinary viſit

[aſide.]

—Shall I have the honour of conducting your Ladyſhip to the Company?

Lady D.

N—o, Sir—I have ſome orders to give my Woman, I'll rejoin the Ladies in a few minutes.

Geo.

Then I'll wiſh your Ladyſhip a good morning.

[Ex.
Lady D.

Amazement! why, what a viſit from a Lover!—Is this the language in which men uſually talk to women, with whom they are on the point of marriage?—Reſpect! Veneration! Obedience to my Father!—And ſhall I have the honour of conducting your Ladyſhip to the Company?—A pretty Lover-like requeſt truly!—But this coldneſs to me proceeds from a cauſe I now underſtand—This morning, what fire was there in his eyes! what animation in his countenance! whenever he addreſs'd himſelf to that creature Mr. Drummond brought here?—Would his requeſt to her have been to conduct her to Company?—No, no;—But I muſt be cautious—I muſt be patient now—but you will find, Sir, when I poſſeſs the privileges of a Wife, I ſhall not ſo eaſily give them up—your fiery glances, if not directed to me, ſhall at leaſt, in my preſence, be addreſſed to no other.

[Exit.
SCENE changes to an Apartment.
BELLA at her Harpſichord.
SONG.
Haſte, [...]aſte, ye fiery Steeds of Day,
In Ocean's boſom hide your beams!
Mild Evening, in her penſive gray
More ſ [...]ft, and more alluring ſeems.
Yet why invoke the penſive Eve,
Or, ſighing, chide refulg [...]nt Morn?
Their ſhifting moments can't relieve
The heart by pangs of abſ [...]nce torn.

Hang Muſic—it only makes me melancholy—Heigh-ho '—theſe Lovers inſect me too, I believe—Seducive Italy! what are your attractions? Oh, for Fortunatus's cap—I'd convince myſelf in a moment if my doubts are [33] juſtly founded—And ſuppoſe they ſhould—what then?—Ah! they think I am made of ice, whilſt the gaiety of my diſpoſition only ſerves to conceal a heart as tenderly ſuſceptible as the moſt ſerious of my ſex can poſſeſs—

Enter EMILY.

Ah, my dear Ma'am, I am rejoiced to ſee you; I have been juſt long enough alone to be tired of myſelf, and to be charmed at ſo agreeable a relief.

Em.

Can that ever be the caſe with Miſs Sidney? I thought you had poſſeſs'd the happieſt flow of ſpirits in the world.

Bel.

Pho!—your great ſpirits are mere Jack-a-lanterns in the brain—they dance about, ſhine, and make vagaries—while thoſe who poſſeſs happineſs, ſoberly and quietly enjoy their treaſure.

Em.

Indeed! I hope dulneſs is not your criterion of happineſs—if it is, there are few aſſemblies where you'll not find a great number to envy.

Bel.

Oh, no—Dulneſs is the character of thoſe who are too wiſe, not too happy.

Enter GEORGE.
Geo.

Two Ladies in council—on faſhion, or news?

Bel.

On a better ſubject—laughing at the ſlaves we have made, and forging chains for more.

Geo.

That's not the buſineſs of fine Women—Nature meant to ſave them the trouble of plotting—for traps and chains, ſhe beſtowed ſparkling eyes, and timid bluſhes, with a whole multitude of graces, that hang about the form, and wanton in the air.

[Looking at Emily.]
Bel.

Well, after all, Men are delightful creatures—flattery, cards, and ſcandal, help one thro' the day tolerably well—I don't know how we ſhould exiſt without 'em in the country.

Geo.

And which of 'em would you relinquiſh in town?

Bel.

Not flattery, becauſe it keeps one in ſpirits, and gives a glow to the complexion—Scandal, you may take away—but pray leave us cards, to keep us awake, with the faſhionable world, on Sunday evenings.

Geo.

And, in lieu of ſcandal, you'll be content with conqueſt.

Bel.

Ridiculous! Conqueſt is not ſuch an object with Women, as the Men imagine—for my part, I ſhould conceive a net that would catch the hearts of the whole ſex, a property of very little value.

Geo.
[34]

But, you would think it a very pleaſant one, my gentle Cuz. or, at leaſt

[archly]

you'd pick out one happy favourite before you gave the reſt to deſpair.

Bel.

Poſitively no—I don't know one that I ſhould not let fly away with the reſt.

Geo.

Now, how can you fib, with ſuch an unbluſhing face? This debate, Madam,

[to Emily]

will let you into Bella's ſecret—ſhe has, at this moment, an image in her heart, that gives a flat contradiction to her tongue.

Bel.

Indeed!—you make your aſſertion with great effrontery—but now, to compliment your diſcernment, whoſe image do you think of?

Geo.

Ha, Bella—liſten with your greedieſt ears to catch the tranſporting ſound—breathe not, ye ſofteſt Zephyrs! be ſilent, ye harmonious Spheres! while I articulate the name of—

Bel.
[ſtopping her ears]

Oh, I won't hear it.

Geo.

Belville!

Bel.

Oh, frightful!—don't attend to him—George's belief is always under the influence of his fancy.

Emily.

In this inſtance, if I may judge from your looks, he has not hinted at a fiction.

Bel.

Indeed you are miſtaken; his gueſs might have been as good, if you had named Preſter John.

Geo.

Hum—I wiſh it may be ſo, for I have heard a ſtory about a certain Lady on the Continent, whom a certain Gentleman—

Bel.

Thinks handſomer than Bella Sydney—mortifying—ha, ha, ha!

Geo.

Nay more, to whom be devotes his hours.

Bel.

His heart

[petulantly.]
Geo.

On whom he doats.

Bel.

Pſha!

Geo.

Grows melancholy.

Bel.

Nonſenſe!

Geo.

Nay, fights for her.

Bel.

Ridiculous!

Geo.

Lives only at her feet.

Bel.

You are really very inſupportable, Sir—do find ſome other ſubject to amuſe yourſelf.

Geo.

Ha, ha, ha! the Gudgeon has bit—See, Madam, a Coquette ſtruggling with the conſciouſneſs of love,—are not thoſe pouts, and angry bluſhes, proofs of Belville's happineſs?

Emily.

I cannot perceive theſe proofs—Mr. Belville, perhaps, is not in ſo enviable a ſtate.

Bel.
[35]

Oh, you are a good Girl, and, I aſſure you, perfectly right—Lovers, thank our ſtars! are too plenty, for an abſent one to give us much pain.—What, turn your arms on your aſſociate, George!—I'll break the league, and diſcover all.

[apart to George.
Geo.

You dare not, you love miſchief too well—it is as dear to you as the ſighs of your Lover.

Bel.

A-propos! where's Sir Charles?

Geo.

In the garden probably—ſighing to the winds—and I wiſh you'd find him—and leave us.

[apart.
Bel.

Ha! Perhaps they'll waft his ſighs to Harriet—and ſhe muſt not hear 'em yet—and ſo, Sir Charles—

[Exit.
Emily.

Oh, pray make me one of your party.

[going.
Geo.

Stay, Madam, I entreat you—believe me, they will not thank you—I'll tell you the ſtory.

Emily.

I'll hear it from Miſs Sydney.

Geo.

Nay, if you are determined—

[Exeunt.
SCENE, the Garden.
Enter HARRIET.

In vain do I endeavour to conceal it from myſelf—This ſpot has charms for me, that I can find in no other—here have I ſeen—perhaps for the laſt time, Sir Charles Seymour. My Couſin's preſence was unlucky—I ſhould have heard him—but it would have been a crime in him to have talked to me of love—an inſult that I muſt have reſented—and yet 'tis the only ſubject on which I could wiſh to have heard him. Bleſs me! he's here again—he haunts this place—but he does not obſerve me, and I'll conceal myſelf; for I feel I could not now behave with proper reſerve.

[Goes behind an arbor.
Enter Sir CHARLES, looking round.

Ha, not here then!—Sweet reſemblance of her I love! come from thy hiding-place.

[takes a picture from his boſom, and kiſſes it.]

In her abſence thou art the deareſt object to my eyes. What a face is this!

"'Tis beauty truly bleſt, whoſe red and white
"Nature's own ſweet and cunning hand laid on."
Enter GEORGE. Catches his hand with the picture.
Geo.

Ho ho!—ſo the Picture's come home from the Painter's, is it, Sir—and the drapery quite to your mind?

Sir Ch.
[36]
[confuſed and recovering.]

The artifice I uſed to obtain it, thoſe who love can pardon.

Geo.

And how many times a day doſt thou break the decalogue in worſhipping that Image?

Sir Ch.

Every hour that I live. I gaze on it till I think it looks, and ſpeaks to me; it lies all night on my heart, and is the firſt object I addreſs in the morning.

Geo.

Oh, complete your character, and turn Monk—'tis plain you're half a Papiſt.

Sir Ch.

Why condemn me to cells and penitence?

Geo.

That you mayn't violate the laws of Nature, by pretending to a character for which ſhe never deſigned you. Your bonds, inſtead of ſilken fetters, appear to be hempen cords. Come, confeſs, have not you been examining on which of theſe trees you would be moſt gracefully pendent?

Sir Ch.

That gaieté de coeur, George, bears no mark of the tender paſſion; and, to be plain, I believe you know very little about it.

Geo.

You are confoundedly miſtaken—we are both Lovers, but the difference between us lies thus: Cupid to me is a little familiar rogue, with an arch leer—and cheeks dimpled with continual ſmiles—To you—an aweful Deity, deck'd out in his whole regalia of darts, flames, and quivers, and ſo forth—I play with him—you—

Sir Ch.

Spare yourſelf the trouble of ſo long an explanation—All you would ſay is, that you love with hope—I with deſpair.

Geo.

Very conciſe, and moſt pathetically expreſt—melancholy ſuits your features, Charles—'twere pity your Miſtreſs ſhould encourage you; it would deprive you of that ſomething in your air which is ſo touching—Ha! ha! ha!—poor Seymour! Come, let us go in ſearch of the girls, they are gone to the wood; who knows but you may find a nymph there, who'll have the kindneſs to put hanging and drowning out of your head?

Sir Ch.
Oh, would ſweet Celia meet me there,
With ſoften'd looks, and gentler air,
Tranſported, to the Wood I'd fly,
The happieſt Swain beneath the ſky;
Sighs and complaints I'd give the wind,
And IO's ſing, were Celia kind.
[As he repeats the verſes, George, laughing, ſcans them on his fingers.
[Exit Sir Charles.
Geo.

Cupid is deaf, as well as blind.

[Exit George.
[37] Enter HARRIET.
Har.

Her picture in his boſom, and kiſs it with ſuch rapture too! Well—I am glad I am convinced—I am perfectly at eaſe. He loves them without hope, and George was miſtaken in ſuppoſing him ſo near marriage—but he loves notwithſtanding—her picture lies all night on his heart, and her idea is never abſent from his mind—Well, be it ſo—I am perfectly at eaſe, and ſhall no longer find a difficulty in aſſuming an indifference that is become real—Oh, Seymour!

[Exit.
SCENE, the Wood.
Enter Lady DINAH.

Inſolent wretch!—Nothing leſs than the conviction of my own ſenſes could have induced me to believe ſo ſhocking an indecorum—I ſaw her myſelf look at him with eyes that were downright gloting—I ſaw him ſnatch her hand, and preſs it to his lips, with an ardour that is inconceivable—and when the creature pretended to bluſh, and made a reluctant effort to withdraw it—my Youth, ſo full of veneration and reſpect for me, refuſed to reſign it—till the creature had given him a gracious ſmile of reconciliation—Heavens! they are coming this way—ſure they do not perceive me—See there!—Nay, if you will come here.

[Goes behind a ſhrub.]
Enter EMILY, followed by GEORGE.
Em.

I entreat you, Sir, not to perſiſt in following me—You'll force me to appeal to Mr. Drummond for protection.

Geo.

You need no protection, Madam, that you will not find in my reſpect—But you are barbarous to deprive me of converſing with you—'tis a felicity, I have ſo lately taſted, that 'tis no wonder I am greedy of it.

Em.

If you believe your attentions would not diſpleaſe me in my proper character—I ought to be offended that you addreſs them to a perſon, of whoſe name and family you are ignorant.

Geo.

Can a name deprive you of that face, that air—or rob you of your mind—of what then am I ignorant?—'tis thoſe I addreſs with the moſt paſſionate vows of—

Em.

I poſitively will not liſten to you—However, if the acquaintance ſhould place us on a footing, I'll then [38] converſe with you—if on my own terms.

[Lady D. liſtening—Aye, or on any terms.]

I have no diſlike to the charming freedom of the Engliſh manners—you ſhall be as gallant as you pleaſe; but I give you notice, the inſtant you become dangerous, I ſhall be grave.

Geo.

How dangerous—

Em.

Oh, the moment you grow of conſequence enough to endanger my heart, I ſhall ſhut myſelf from you—but as long as you continue harmleſs, you may play.

Geo.

This is not to be borne—I will not be harmleſs—I declare open war againſt your heart, not in play, but downright earneſt.

Em.

Nay, then, I muſt collect my forces to oppoſe you—my heart will ſtand a long ſiege, depend on it.

Geo.

If you'll promiſe it ſhall yield at laſt, a ten years ſiege will be richly rewarded.

Em.

Oh, no; I make no promiſes—try your forces; if you ſhould poſſeſs yourſelf of it in ſpite of me—I can only bewail its captivity.

Geo.

Your permiſſion to take the field is all I can at preſent hope; and thus on my knees, dear charming Creature—

Lady D.
[liſtening]

There's veneration and reſpect!

Em.

Hold, Sir—I will be ſo generous to tell you, that whenever you kneel I ſhall fly.

[runs out.]
Geo.

And I'll purſue—till my Atalanta confeſſes I have won the prize.

[As Geo. is following Emily, Lady D. comes out againſt him with an angry reproachful air, and paſſes him.]
Geo.
[aſide]

So,—there's a look! what a bleſſed Motherin-law I ſhall have!

[Exit.
Lady D.

What!—not ſtay even to explain—to apologiſe—follow her before my face—oh, Monſters, Furies! yes, yes, ſhe'll yield without the trouble of a ten years ſiege—ſhe can ſcarcely hold out ten minutes—oh, ye ſhall both ſuffer for this—I will go this inſtant—I will do ſomething.

[Exit.
Enter SUSAN.
S [...]ſ [...]n.

Hah, my good Lady, is it ſo? ha, ha, ha! I muſt ſee if I can't make myſelf uſeful here. A Lady, who like my miſtreſs gives way to her moſt unbridled paſſions, is the only one worth being ſerved by a girl of ſpirit and intrigue. I'll follow, and aid your Ladyſhip with my counſel before you [39] have time to cool—

[going, returns.]

—So—'tis needleſs, here ſhe ebbs, like a ſtormy ſea.

Enter Lady DINAH, not ſeeing SUSAN.
Lady D.

A moment's reflection has convinced me I ſhould be wrong—he muſt not ſuſpect that I influence his Father againſt the minion—nor will I allow her the ſatisfaction of thinking ſhe gives to me the pangs of jealouſy—but I will not loſe him—ſomething muſt be done.

Suſan.

Oh, my Lady, I was witneſs to the whole affair—Oh, a baſe man! I could have trampled him under my feet.

Lady D.

Baſe, indeed! but 'tis on her my reſentment chiefly falls—oh, Suſan—revenge!

Suſan.

I am ſure my heart achs for you, my Lady—there's nothing I would not do—Oh, ſhe's an artful ſlut.

Lady D.

She's as dangerous as artful—I muſt be rid of her, yet I know not how.—Oh France! for thy Baſtile, for thy Lettres de Cachet!

Suſan.

There are ways and means here, my Lady—Miſs told a fine tale to get into the houſe, and I fancy I can tell as fine a tale to get her out of it, and I ſhou'd think it neither ſin nor ſhame in the ſervice of ſo good a Lady.

Lady D.

If thou canſt contrive any method—I care not what—any plan to rid me of her; command my fortune.

Suſan.

Oh, dear my Lady, as to that—as to your fortune, my Lady, that's out of the queſtion—but I know your Ladyſhip's generoſity—I think I could ſend her packing,—perhaps before night.

Lady D.

Can you!—The inſtant ſhe goes, I'll give you two hundred pounds.

Suſan.
[courteſying]

She ſhall go, my Lady, if I have invention, or Jarvis a tongue.

Lady D.

Jarvis! Are you mad?—I wou'd not have him ſuſpect that I am concerned in the affair, for the univerſe.

Suſan.

Oh, dear my Lady—I vow I wou'd not mention your name to him—no, not for another two hundred pounds;—no, no, Miſs ſhall be got rid of, without giving Jarvis, or any one, the leaſt reaſon to ſuſpect that your Ladyſhip is privy to the matter.

Lady D.

I am convinced ſhe is an impoſtor, and I wonder Mr. Hargrave doesn't ſee it—but there will be more labour in rouſing his ſtupid apprehenſion, than in explaining to an enthuſiaſt the conceptions of a Bolingbroke.

Suſan.

I am more afraid of Mr. Drummond than him.

Lady D.
[40]

Aye—he will ſupport that Girl's intereſt, in order to mortify me—

Suſan.

That doesn't ſignify, my Lady—I have a card as good as any he holds to play againſt him—your Ladyſhip muſt have ſeen that the old Juſtice has full as much weight with the 'Squire, as Mr. Drummond.

Lady D.

I obſerve that Mr. Hargrave is continually wavering between them—they influence his actions like two principal ſenſes—Mr. Drummond is the friend of his underſtanding, the other of his humour.—But what is the card you mean to play?

Suſan.

I mean to play one of his ſenſes againſt the other, my Lady, that's all—for I am miſtaken if I can't govern the Juſtice, as much as his whole five put together.

Lady. D.

That is indeed a card—my hopes catch life at it—Suſan, ſay to him what you will, promiſe what you will—I ſuppoſe you have the way to the old fool's heart, and know by what road to reach it—at all events the Girl muſt be got rid of; the method I leave to you.—There's the dinner bell—I muſt walk a little to recover my compoſure, and then, I ſuppoſe, I may have the honour of ſitting for the young Lady's foil.

[Exit.
Suſan.

I am ſure ſhe can't have a better—ha, ha, ha!—Two hundred pounds! Oh the charms of jealouſy and revenge—I might have ſerved one of your good ſort of orderly old women, 'till I had been grey—theſe two hundreds will quicken Mr. Jarvis a little—we ſhall ſee him more attentive, I fancy, than he has been, and then farewell to ſervitude—Hah, Jarvis!

Enter Jarvis bowing affectedly.
Jar.
"So look'd the Goddeſs of the Paphian Iſle,
"When Mars ſhe ſaw, and conquer'd with that ſmile."

My dear Goddeſs, I kiſs your fingers—I have been hunting for you in every walk in the garden.

Suſan.
[tenderly]

Why—what did you want with me, Jarvis?

Jar.

Why, faith, I have the ſame kind of neceſſity for you, that a Beau has for a looking-glaſs—you admire me, and keep me in good humour with myſelf.

Suſan.

Oh, if you want to be put in temper, I've got an excellent cordial. Now for your parts—now to prove yourſelf the clever fellow that you think you are.

Jar.

That you think, my dear, you mean—but what ex-

Suſan.
[41]

Liſten!—We have diſcovered that the young 'Squire thinks eighteen a prettier age than fifty—that he prefers natural roſes to Warren's, and that gravity and wiſdom are no match for the fire of two hazel eyes, aſſiſted by the reaſoning of ſmiles and dimples.

Jar.

And he's in the right on't—didn't I tell you this morning they reckon'd without their hoſt?

Suſan.

Here has he been on his knees at the feet of the Damſel, and her Ladyſhip behind that buſh, amuſing herſelf with his tranſports—ha, ha, ha!

Jar.

Ha, ha, ha!—I warrant her, 'tis the only tranſports ſhe'll ever ſee him in. George Hargrave marry our old Lady! no, no—I have a very good opinion of that young fellow; he's exactly what I ſhould be, if I was heir to his Father's acres—juſt ſuch a ſpirited, careleſs deportment—a certain prevailing aſſurance—upon my ſoul, Suſan, you and I ought to have moved in a higher ſphere.

Suſan.

Come, come, you muſt conſider this affair in another light; 'twou'd be a ſhame, that becauſe this Girl has a pretty face, and was found weeping by a compaſſionate old Gentleman—it wou'd be a ſhame, I ſay, that for theſe reaſons, ſhe ſhou'd marry into a great Family, and cheat the Siſter of a Peer, of a Huſband—Read the ſtory this way, act with ſpirit, and our Lady will, on the day of our marriage, give us two hundred pounds.

Jar.

Humph!—on the day of our marriage—cannot you, Child, prevail on your Lady to give me the two hundred, without tacking that condition to it?

Suſan.

Pho, Sauce-box!—Well, but theſe two hundreds now—what will you do for 'em?

Jar.

Do for 'em—Oh, any thing—the moſt extravagant thing in the world—run off with the girl—blow up the houſe—turn Turk—or marry you.

Suſan.

Upon my word, Sir.

Jar.

Well, but the buſineſs, Child, the buſineſs.

Suſan.

The buſineſs is, that we muſt contrive to open ſome door for this Girl to walk out of the houſe.

Jar.

But how—upon what ground—when, and where?

Suſan.

Why, if we could contrive the buſineſs, I have no doubt of the ſpirit and fire of your execution.—Do you remember the occupation which once gave employment to theſe talents of yours—I mean that of an itinerant Player?

Jar.

Oh, yes—I remember the barns that I have made [42] echo with the ravings of Oreſtes, and the ſtables in which I have ſighed forth the woes of Romeo.

Suſan.

Well, but have you any recollection of a pretty Juliet—a tall elegant Girl—in ſhort, do you not remember one of the ſtrolling party exceedingly like the ſtrange gueſt now in the houſe?

Jar.

Hum!—Why, what devil ſent thee to tempt me this morning?—ſo I am to ſell my honour—my honeſty—

Suſan.

Pho, pho—honeſty and honour are ſentiments for people whoſe fortunes are made—let us once be independent, and we'll be as honourable and as honeſt as the beſt of 'em—ſo let's go in, and ſettle our plan.

Jar.

Well—'tis the fate of great men to be in the hands of Women; and therefore, my ſweet Abigail—I am yours.

[Leads her off.
END OF THE THIRD ACT.

ACT IV.

SCENE, an Apartment.
Enter HARRIET, followed by BELLA.
BELLA.

NAY, but hear him—hear him, Harriet.

Har.

Can this be you, Bella, who this morning ſeem'd fearful that I ſhould not treat him with ſufficient ſcorn—now perſuading me to allow a private interview to a Man who is profeſſedly the lover of another?

Bel.

How apprehenſive you very delicate Ladies are! Why muſt you ſuppoſe he wants to talk to you about love—or on any topic, that his approaching marriage would make improper?

Har.

Why—what can he have to ſay to me?

Bel.

Admit him, and he'll tell you—perhaps he wants to conſult your taſte about the trimmings of his wedding clothes—or to beg your choice in his ruffles—or—

Har.

Pho!—this is downright ridicule.

Bel.

Well then—you won't admit him?

[ſeeming to go]

I ſhall tell him you don't chooſe to ſee him, tho' he is going to [43] leave us directly—but I approve your caution, Harriet, you are perfectly right.

Har.

Going to leave us directly, Bella!

Bel.

Immediately, my dear—I heard him order his chaiſe, and mutter ſomething about inſupportable—but I think you'll be exceedingly imprudent in receiving his viſit, and adviſe you by all means to refuſe it.

Har.

Dear Bella!

Bel.

Well then you will ſee him—I ſhall acquaint him with the ſucceſs of my embaſſy—but remember ſcorn, Harriet, ſcorn.

[Exit Bella.
Har.

Now, what am I to expect? my heart beats ſtrangely—but remember, fooliſh Girl, the picture of his Miſtreſs is in his boſom.

Enter Sir CHARLES.
Sir Ch.

The requeſt I ventured to make by Miſs Sidney, Madam, muſt appear ſtrange to you—the engagements which I—

Har.

Renders it an extraordinary requeſt indeed, Sir.

Sir Cha.

I fear'd you would think ſo, and conſcious of thoſe engagements, I ſhou'd not have preſum'd to have made it—but as it's probably the laſt time I may ever ſee you—I ſeize it, to tell you that—I adore you.

Har.

Sir Charles! I am aſtoniſhed,—in my Father's houſe at leaſt, I ſhould have been ſecure from ſuch an inſult.

Sir Ch.

Forgive me, I intreat you. Nothing could have forced this declaration from me, but my deſpair.

Har.

The engagement you talk of, Sir, ought to have prevented theſe effects of your deſpair.

Sir Cha.

I acknowledge it—and they have kept me ſilent ever ſince I arrived—but when I thought of leaving you in a few moments, I ſound the idea inſupportable.

Har.

The picture you wear, Sir Charles—might conſole you ſurely.

Sir Cha.

Hah—I thought you were ignorant, Madam, of my poſſeſſing it.

Har.

Without doubt you did, Sir Charles—but no, Sir—I am acquainted with your wearing that Picture—and wonder how you could preſume—but I deſerve the inſult, for liſtening to you a moment.

[Going.
Sir Ch.

Oh, ſtay, Miſs Hargrave, I intreat you,—I will give up the picture, ſince it ſo offends you—yet how can I part from it?

Har.
[44]

Oh, keep it, Sir—keep it by all means—you miſtake me entirely, Sir; I have no right to claim ſuch a ſacrifice.

[Going.
Sir Ch.

You have a right, Madam—here it is—

[kiſſing and offering it]

but do not rob me of it.

Har.

Rob you of it!—in ſhort, Sir Charles, you redouble your rudeneſs every moment—

Sir Ch.

I did not think you would have ſo reſented it—but I reſign it to you, Madam—nay, you muſt take it.

Har.

I take it, Sir!

[Glances her eye on it, then takes it with an air of doubt]

—My Picture!—aſtoniſhing!

Enter GEORGE and BELLA, both laughing.
Sir Ch.

Your picture, Madam!!

Geo.

Look at the ſimpletons—na, ha, ha!

Bel.

What a fine attitude!—do it again, Sir Charles—ha, ha, ha!—Well, Harriet—how do you like Sir Charles's Miſtreſs? Is ſhe as handſome as George repreſented her?

Geo.

Hold, hold! 'tis time now to have mercy. My dear Harriet, allow me to preſent to you my moſt valued friend, as the Man whom I ſhou'd rejoice to ſee your Huſband. To you, my Seymour, I preſent a Siſter, whoſe heart has no engagements that I am acquainted with, to ſuperſede your claim.

Sir Ch.

I am ſpeechleſs with joy, and with amazement.

Geo.

Forgive the embarraſment I have occaſion'd you—you have ſuffer'd ſomething; but your felicity will be heighten'd from the compariſon. My dear Harriet, Seymour has always loved you—the picture which ſo offended you is a proof, you cannot doubt.

Sir Ch.

And that you were ſo offended, is ſupreme felicity—ſtupid wretch—not to perceive my bliſs!

Har.
[to Geo. and Bel.]

You have taken a liberty with me that I cannot pardon.

Geo.

Nay, but you ſhall pardon it—and as a proof, give him back your picture this minute.

Sir Ch.

Return it to me, Madam, I intreat you

[kneeling]

I will receive it as the moſt precious gift.

Bel.

Come, give the poor thing its bauble.

Har.

Well, take it, Sir—ſince you had no ſhare in this brilliant contrivance.

Sir Ch.
[taking the picture]

Eternal bleſſings on that hand!

Har.

You, George, are never ſo happy, as in exerciſing your wit, at my expence.

Geo.
[]

And you, Harriet, never ſo heartily forgave me in your Life, and therefore—

Sir Ch.

Hold, George—I cannot bear Miſs Hargrave's ſuffering in this manner; I will take on myſelf the tranſporting office of defending her—this hour, Madam, I ſhall for ever remember with gratitude, and will endeavour to deſerve it, by a life devoted to your happineſs.

Bel.

Come, Harriet—I muſt take you away, that Sir Charles may bring down his raptures to the ſtandard of common mortals—at preſent, I ſee his in the clouds.

Har.

'Tis merciful to relieve me.

[Exeunt Harriet and Bella.
Sir Ch.

Charming Miſs Sydney—I'll never quarrel with your vivacity again.—But why have I been made to ſuffer thus?

Geo.

Becauſe you did not tell me why you wanted my Siſter's picture—but I have taken a friendly vengeance; my plot has told you more of my Siſter's heart in a few hours, than all your ſighs and humility, wou'd have obtained in as many months.

Sir Ch.

For which I thank you—and my preſent happineſs receives a brighter glow from this illuſion of miſery—I'll fly and pour out my joy and gratitude, at the feet of my charming Harriet.

[going. Enter Bella.
Bel.

Oh, ſtay, ſtay—we may want your aſſiſtance. Here's your Father coming, George. Your repartee to Lady Dinah at dinner, ſpoilt her digeſtion—and ſhe's been repreſenting you—that's all.

Geo.

I hope ſhe repreſented her ſneer too, which ſuffuſed with tears the lovelieſt eyes in the world. Could I do leſs than ſupport h [...]r againſt the ill-humour of that antiquated pedant?—By Jupiter, I'll draw her in colours to my Father, that ſhall make him ſhrink from the fate he is preparing for himſelf.

Enter HARGRAVE.
Mr. H.

Why, George, how's this?—Dy'e know what you've done?—you've affronted Lady Dinah.

Geo.

I did not deſign to affront her, Sir—I only meant to convince her that ſhe ſhou'd not inſult the amiable young Lady, whom Mr. Drummond placed under your protection.

Mr. H.

Don't tell me—amiable young Lady! How do you know what ſhe is?—on the footing you are with Lady Dinah, let me tell you, if ſhe had inſulted an hundred young Ladies, you ought not to have ſeen it—at leaſt, not reſented it.

Geo.
[46]

Pardon me, Sir—I did not conceive that Lady Dinah ſhou'd have aſſumed in your houſe—at leaſt till ſhe becomes your Wife—a right to—

Mr. H.

What's that you ſay, Sir?

Geo.

Indeed, Sir, to confeſs the truth, I am aſtoniſh'd at your partiality for that Lady—ſhe is the laſt woman in the world, whom I could wiſh to ſee in the place of my amiable Mother.

Mr. H.

Your Mother!

Geo.

I ſhou'd think it a breach of my duty, to ſee you plunge yourſelf into ſo irretrievable a fate, without acquainting you with my ſentiments—if you ſaw her in the light I do, Sir—you would think on your wedding day with horror.

Mr. H.

Why—why—are you mad?

Geo.

If you wiſhed to keep your engagements a ſecret, Sir—I am ſorry I mention'd the affair, but—

Bel.

Oh—'tis no ſecret, Sir, I aſſure you—every body talks of it—for my part, I ſhall be quite happy in paying my reſpects to my new Aunt—I have put a coral ſtring in my tambour already, that I may finiſh it time enough for her firſt Boy to wear at its chriſtening.

Mr. H.

Look ye, Sir—I perceive that you have all that backwardneſs in obeying me that I expected, and, in order to conceal it, are attempting to throw the affair into ridicule—but I tell you it will not do—I know what I am about, and my commands ſhall not be diſputed.

Geo.

Commands, Sir!—I am quite at a loſs—

Mr. H.

Well then, to prevent further miſtakes, I acquaint you, that I deſign Lady Dinah for your Wife, and not your Mother—and moreover, that the marriage ſhall take place in a very few days.

[going.]

—And, d'ye hear?—acquaint your pert Couſin, that the coral ſtring will do for your firſt Boy.

Exit Hargrave.
[A long pauſe, ſtaring at each other.
Bel.

So, ſo, ſo! and is this the end of all the cloſetings?

Sir Ch.

What the devil!—it muſt be all a dream.

Geo.

Wife!!—Lady Dinah my Wife!

Bel.

Ha, ha, ha! dear George, forgive me, but I muſt laugh, or I can't exiſt—ha, ha, ha! oh, my Couſin Dinah!

Geo.

Pray, Bella, ſpare your mirth, and tell me what I am to do—for I am incapable of thinking.

Bel.

Do! why run to Lady Dinah—fling yourſelf at her ſeet, tell her you had no idea of the bliſs that was deſigned you—and that you'll make her the tendereſt, fondeſt Huſband in the world—ha, ha, ha!

Geo.
[47]

Oh, Couſin, for once forget your ſprightlineſs—I cannot bear it—Seymour, what am I to do?

Sir Ch.

My dear George, I pity you from my ſoul—but I know not what advice to give you.

Bel.

Well, then ſeriouſly I think—ha, ha, ha! but 'tis impoſſible to be ſerious—I am aſtoniſh'd you are not more ſtruck with your Father's tender cares for you.

Geo.

Have you no mercy, Bella?

Bel.

You have none upon yourſelf, or inſtead of ſtanding here with that countenance ſi triſte, you wou'd be with Mr. Drummond.

Geo.

He is, indeed, my only reſource—I'll fly to him this inſtant, and if it fails me—I am the moſt miſerable man on earth.

[Exit.
Sir Cha.

What can induce Mr. Hargrave to ſacrifice ſuch a fellow as George, to a Lady Dinah?—Prepoſterous!

Bel.

Her rank and fortune—and I dread the lengths to which his obſtinacy may carry him; he has no more reſpect for the divinity of Love, than for that of the Aegyptian Apis—Let us find Harriet, and tell her the ſtrange ſtory; ſhe is not the only perſon, I fear, to whom it will be painful.

Sir Ch.

Is it poſſible that Lady Dinah, in the depth of her wiſdom, can imagine ſuch an union proper?

Bel.

Be merciful—Love has forc'd Heroes to forget their valour, and Philoſophers their ſyſtems—no wonder he ſhou'd make a Woman forget her wrinkles.

[Exeunt.
SCENE, the Garden.
Enter JARVIS and SUSAN.
Jar.

Egad, tis a ſervice of danger.

Suſ.

Danger! ſure you've no qualms?

Jar.

No, no, child—no qualms—the reſolution with which I could go thro' an affair of this ſort, would in another hemiſphere make my fortune—but hang it, in theſe cold northern regions there's no room for a man of genius to ſtrike a bold ſtroke—the foſtering plains of Aſia, ſor ſuch talents as mine!

Suſ.

Now I think England's a very pretty ſoil.

Jar.

Why, aye, if one could be ſure of keeping clear of a dozen ill-bred fellows, who decide on the conduct of a man of ſpirit at the Old Bailey, then indeed we need not care; for an air of Ton, and a carriage, on whatever ſprings it moves, introduces one to the beſt circles—But let us conſider our bottom—this girl was plac'd under the care of the old gentlewoman, by a perſon of credit.

Suſ.
[48]

Pho, pho, what! ſhe brought a recommendation—don't we know how eaſily a character is to be had—ſpotleſs as ſilver, or as bright as gold! 'tis a wonder ſhe did not afford a name too; I warrant ſhe had ſufficient reaſons to conceal her own.

Jar.

It does look like it, and there's a myſtery in the affair—Now, myſteries, as my Lady ſays, we have a right to explain as we pleaſe.

Suſ.

Aye, to be ſure—and this is the explanation. She is an unprotected, artful girl, who having caught a taſte for the life of a fine Lady, thinks the ſhorteſt way to gratify her longing, is by gaining the heart of ſome credulous fool, who'll make her his wife for the ſake of her—Beauty.

Jar.

True—That with this view ſhe told her ſtory to Mr. Drummond, who—innocent ſoul—not ſeeing her drift, introduced her here, where ſhe attempts to ſucceed, by playing off her artillery on the gunpowder conſtitution of George Hargrave, Eſq; the younger.

Suſ.

Oh, delightful!—why, if I continue with my Lady, I ſhall be her miſtreſs as long as ſhe lives—and now I think on't, I believe that muſt be our plan—You and I can be married juſt the ſame, you know.

Jar.

Oh, juſt the ſame, my dear, juſt the ſame; nothing ſhall prevent that—

[aſide]

but my being able to coax you out of the Two Hundred.

Suſ.

Hark! here comes the Juſtice—ſlip away, and leave me to manage him—I know I can make him uſeful—You need not be jealous now.

Jar.

Jealous! no, no; I have liv'd among the great too long, to be tormented with ſo vulgar a paſſion.

[Ex. Jar.
Enter JUSTICE.
Juſ.

Hah, hah! have I caught you, my little Pickſey? Come, no ſtruggling—I will have a kiſs, by Jingo.

Suſ.

Lud! you are the ſtrangeſt Gentleman—

[reſiſting.]
Juſ.

You are wondrous coy, methinks.

Suſ.

Coy—ſo I ſhould—What have Gentlewomen without fortune, to recommend 'em elſe?

Juſ.

Aye—but that roſy, pouting mouth tells different tales, I warrant, to the fine Gentlemen in London. I have been thinking you'd make a pretty little Houſekeeper—yes you would, Huſſey—yes you would—will you come and live with me?

Suſ.

Oh, dear Sir—I ſhould like it vaſtly; but I think you had better go to London with me—I aſſure you, my [49] Lady ſpeaks very highly of your talents in the law—and ſhe has great intereſt—ſo, as ſoon as ſhe is Lady Dinah Hargrave—Your Worſhip is acquainted with that affair, I ſuppoſe.

Juſ.

Yes, yes; my friend has told me of it—but under ſtrict injunctions of ſecrecy.

Suſ.

Secrecy! aye, to be ſure—but I dare ſay Mr. Drummond has been informed of it.

Juſ.

Oh, I know nothing of him—he's queer and cloſe; one can never get him in at a bout—he's not ſtaunch.

Suſ.

I believe he is not ſtaunch to our match; and if that is prevented, we ſhall leave the country directly.

Juſ.

Why, what can prevent it, Sweety?

Suſ.

Perhaps Mr. Drummond's advice; for he can manage Mr. Hargrave.

Juſ.

Ah—but my advice will go as far as his, I believe; and do you think I'll part with you—you little wicked rogue you?

[chucking her chin.]
Suſ.

Then if you find the match is likely to go off, you muſt uſe all your intereſt to bring it to bear; and then we ſha'n't part, you little wicked rogue you.

[chucking his chin.]
Juſ.

That I will—I'll plead for the wedding as vigorouſly, as if I had an hundred guineas with a brief.

Suſ.

Well—but d'ye mind me? I don't like the ſtranger this ſame 'Squire uſher'd here.

Juſ.

Not like her! why, ſhe's a deviliſh fine girl;—adad, the warm ſparkling of her eyes catches one's heart, as if it was made of tinder.

Suſ.

Upon my word—a deviliſh fine Girl—the ſparkling of her eyes!—

Juſ.

Oh—I don't mean—that is—Oh, I would rather have one kind look of thine, ſweet Mrs. Sukey—for t'other I dare not ſquint at.

Suſ.

Hah!—I believe you are a Coquet—but however, I have certain reaſons to wiſh this beautiful Angel out of the houſe. I have obſerved looks that I don't like, between her and young Hargrave—and—you comprehend me—whatever interrupts the marriage, we are gone.

Juſ.

I underſtand you—you may depend upon me—let me ſee—how ſhall we manage to get her out of Drummond's clutches?

Suſ.

That's your buſineſs—I ſay, that muſt be done, and you muſt do it.

Juſ.

To be ſure, Mrs. Suſan—let me conſider—

Suſ.
[50]

We muſt have no qualms, Mr. Juſtice.

Juſ.

We will have none—but what your ſmiles, ſweet Sukey, can diſperſe—I muſt venture a little—the tender paſſions make one do any thing. Omnia vincit amor, ſay no more.

Suſ.

She ſhall be ſent packing.

Juſ.

Have I not given you the word of a Magiſtrate?—But come now, give me one kiſs, you little dear, cruel, ſoft, ſweet, charming, baggage.

Suſ.

Oh, fye—you won't aſk for wages, before you've done your work.

[runs off.
Juſ.

Stop—don't run ſo faſt—don't run ſo faſt, Huſſy—

[following]
[Exit.
SCENE, an Apartment.
Enter Mr. DRUMMOND and GEORGE.
Mr. D.

I wiſh I had known it before matters had been carried ſo far—on a ſubject of this nature no woman can be affronted with impunity.

Geo.

I am careleſs of her reſentment—I will never be her huſband—nor huſband to any woman, but her to whom I have given my vows.

Mr. D.

Hah!—have you carried your affair ſo forward?

Geo.

Yes, Sir, I have made that enchanting Girl the offer of my heart and hand, and tho' her delicacy forbids her, while our families remain unknown to each other, to give the aſſent my heart aſpires to—yet ſhe allows me to [...]atch hopes, that I would not forfeit to become maſter of the univerſe.

Mr. D.

There's a little of the ardor of youth in this—the ardor of youth, George—however, I will not blame you for twenty years ago, I might have been tempted to enter the liſts with you, myſelf.

Geo.

I ſhou'd fear leſs to meet a Hector in the field—in ſuch a cauſe the fury of Achilles would inſpire me—and I would bear off my lovely prize from amidſt the embattled phalanx.

Mr. D.

Bravo—I like to ſee a man romantic in his love, and in his friendſhips—the virtues of him who is not an enthuſiaſt in thoſe noble paſſions, will never have ſtrength to riſe into fortitude, patriotiſm, and philanthropy—but here comes your Father, leave us.

Geo.

May the ſubject inſpire you with reſiſtleſs cloquence!

[Exit.
Enter Mr. HARGRAVE.
Mr. D.

So, Mr. Hargrave.

Mr. H.
[51]

So, Mr. Drummond—what, I gueſs your buſineſs.

Mr. D.

I ſuppoſe you do, and I hope you are prepared to hear me with temper.

Mr. H.

You'll talk to no purpoſe, for I am fixed, and therefore the temper will ſignify nothing.

Mr. D.

Strange infatuation! why muſt George be ſacrificed to your ambition?—ſurely, it may be gratified without tying him to your Lady Dinah.

Mr. H.

How?

Mr. D.

By marrying her yourſelf—which, till now, I ſuppoſed to have been your deſign—and that wou'd have been ſufficiently prepoſterous.

Mr. H.

What!—make me a ſecond time the ſlave of hyſterics, longings, and vapours!—no, no, I've got my neck out of the nooſe—catch it there again if you can—what, her Ladyſhip is not youthful enough for George, I ſuppoſe?

Mr. D.

True—but a more forcible objection is the diſproportion in their minds—it wou'd not be leſs reaſonable to expect a new element to be produced between earth and fire, than that felicity ſhou'd be the reſult of ſuch a marriage.

Mr. H.

Pſha, pſha—what, do you ſuppoſe the whole world has the ſame idle notions about love and conſtancy, and ſtuff, that you have? D'ye think, if George was to become a widower at five and twenty, he'd whine all his life for the loſs of his deary?

Mr. D.

Not if his deary, as you call her, ſhould be a Lady Dinah; and if you marry him with no other view than to procure him a happy widowhood, I admire the election you have made—but, if ſhe ſhou'd be like my loſt love—my ſainted Harriet—my—oh! Hargrave—

Mr. H.

Come, come, I am very ſorry I have moved you ſo—I did not mean to affect you—come, give me your hand—'ſbud, if a man has any thing to do with one of you fellows with your fine feelings, he muſt be as cautious as if he was carrying a candle in a gunpowder barrel.

Mr. D.

'Tis over, my friend—but when I can hear my Harriet named, without giving my heart a fond regret for what I have loſt—reproach me—for then, I ſhall deſerve it.

Mr. H.

Well, well—it ſhall be your own way—but come, let me convince you that you are wrong in this buſineſs

—'sbud! I tell you it has been the ſtudy of my life to make George a great man—I brought Lady Dinah here with no [52] other deſign—and now, when I thought the matter was brought to bear—when Lady Dinah had conſented—and my Son, as I ſuppoſed, eager for the wedding—why!—'tis all a flam!

Mr. D.

My good friend—the motives, from which you wou'd ſacrifice your Son's happineſs, appear to me ſo weak.

Mr. H.

Weak!—why, I tell you, I have provided a wife for George, who will make him, perhaps, one of the firſt men in the kingdom.

Mr. D.

That is, ſhe would make him a Court Dangler, an attendant on Miniſters levees—one whoſe ambition is to be foſtered with the cameleon food of ſmiles and nods, and who would receive a familiar ſqueeze with as much rapture as the plaudits of a nation—oh—ſhame—to transform an independent Engliſh Gentleman into ſuch a being!

Mr. H.

Well, to cut the argument ſhort—the bargain is ſtruck, and George ſhall marry Lady Dinah, or never have an acre of my land, that's all.

Mr. D.

And he ſhall never poſſeſs a rood of mine, if he does.

[walking about]
Mr. H.
[aſide]

There, I thought twou'd come to this: what a ſhame it is for a man to be ſo obſtinate!—but hold—faith, if ſo, I may loſe more than I get by the bargain—he'll ſtick to his word.

Enter JUSTICE.
Juſ.

I am very much ſurprized, Mr. Drummond—Sir—that I can't be left alone in the diſcharge of my magiſterial duties, but muſt be continually thwarted by you.

Mr. D.

This interruption, Mr. Juſtice, is ill-timed, and rather out of rule—I cou'd wiſh you had choſen another opportunity.

Juſ.

No opportunity like the preſent—no time like the preſent, Sir—you've cauſe, indeed, to be diſpleas'd with my not obſerving rules, when you are continually breaking the laws.

Mr. D.

Ha, ha, ha! let us hear—what hen-rooſt robbery have you to lay to my charge now?

Juſ.

Aye, Sir, you may think to turn it off with a joke, if you pleaſe—but for all that, I can prove you to be a bad member of ſociety, for you counteract the wiſe deſigns of our legiſlators, and obſtruct the operations of juſtice—yes, Sir, you do.

Mr. H.

Don't be ſo warm—what is this affair?

Juſ.

Why, the poacher, whom we committed laſt night, [53] Mr. Drummond has releaſed, and given money to his family—How can we expect a due obſervance of our laws, when raſcals find encouragement for breaking them?—Shall Lords and Commons in their wiſdom aſſemble in Parment, to make laws about hares and partridges, only to be laughed at? Oh, 'tis abominable!

Mr. H.

Very true; and let me tell you, Mr. Drummond, it is very extraordinary that you will be continually—

Mr. D.

Peace, ye men of juſtice—I have all the regard to the laws of my country, which it is the duty and intereſt of every member of ſociety to poſſeſs—If the man had been a poacher, he ſhou'd not have been protected by me—the poor fellow found the hare in his garden, which ſhe had conſiderably injured.

Mr. H.

Ho, ho—what, the raſcal juſtifies himſelf! an unqualified man gives reaſons for deſtroying a hare!—Zounds, if a gang of ruffians ſhou'd burn my houſe, wou'd you expect me to hear their reaſons?

Juſ.

Ah, there it works—Suſan's my own

[aſide.]

—there can be no reaſons—if he had found her in his houſe, in his bed-chamber—in his bed, and offer'd to touch her—I'd proſecute him for poaching.

Mr. D.

Oh, bluſh to avow ſuch principles!

Mr. H.

Look'ee, Mr. Drummond, though you govern George with your whimſical notions, you ſha'n't me.—I foreſee how it will be as ſoon as I'm gone—my fences will be cut down—my meadows turned into common—my corn-fields laid open—my woods at the mercy of every man who carries an axe—and, oh—this is noble, this is great!

Mr. D.

Indeed, 'tis ridiculous.

Mr. H.

I'll take care that my property ſha'n't fall a ſacrifice to ſuch whimſies—I'll tye it up, I warrant me—and ſo, Juſtice, come along.

[going.]
Mr. D.

We were talking on a ſubject, Mr. Hargrave, of more importance, at preſent, than this; and, I beg you'll hear me farther.

Mr. H.

Enough has been ſaid already, Mr. Drummond,—or if not, I'll give you one anſwer for all—I ſhall never think myſelf obliged to ſtudy the humour of a man, who thinks in ſuch oppoſition to me; I have a humour of my own, which I am determined to gratify, in ſeeing George a great man—He ſhall marry Lady Dinah in two days; and all the fine reaſoning in the world, you will ſee, has [54] leſs ſtrength than my reſolution—'Sbud, if I can't have the willing obedience of a Son, I'll enjoy the prerogatives of a Father—Come along, Juſtice.

[Exit.
Juſ.

D'ye hear with what a fine firm tone he ſpeaks?—This was only a political ſtroke, to reſtore the balance of power.

Mr. D.

Why don't you follow, Sir?

[Exit Juſtice.]

My ſon ſhall be a great Man!—To ſuch a vanity as this, how many have been ſacrificed!—He ſhall be great—The happineſs of love, the felicities that flow from a ſuitable union, his heart ſhall be a ſtranger to—but he ſhall convey my name, deck'd with titles, to poſterity, though, to purchaſe theſe diſtinctions, he lives a wretch—This is the ſilent language of the heart, which we hold up to ourſelves as the voice of Reaſon and Prudence.

Enter EMILY.

Miſs Morley!—Why this penſive air?

Em.

I am a little diſtreſs'd, Sir—the delicacy of the motive which induced you to place me here, I am perfectly ſenſible of—yet—

Mr. D.

Yet—what, my dear Child?

Em.

Do not think me capricious, if I intreat you to take me back to your own houſe, till my uncle arrives—I cannot think of remaining here.

Mr. D.

Then 'tis as I hoped

[aſide]

—What can have diſguſted you?—Come, be frank; conſider me as a friend, to whom you may ſafely open your heart.

Em.

Your goodneſs, Sir, is exceſſive—Shall I confeſs—the Lady who will ſoon have moſt right here, treats me unkindly.

Mr. D.

That you can't wonder at—Be aſſured, I will effectually defend you from her inſults—But do you not pity poor George, for the fate his father deſigns him?

Em.

Yes—I do pity him.

Mr. D.

If I dared, I would go ſtill further—I would hope, that, as his happineſs depends on you—

Em.

Sir!

Mr. D.

Let me not alarm you—I am acquainted with his paſſion, and wiſh to know that 'tis not diſpleaſing to you.

Em.

So circumſtanced, Sir—what can I ſay?—He is deſtined to be the huſband of another.

Mr. D.

It is enough—I bind myſelf to you from this moment, and promiſe to effect your happineſs, if within the compaſs of my abilities or fortune. But, that I may know my taſk—favour me with the key to your Uncle's character.

Em.
[55]

My Uncle poſſeſſes a heart, Sir, that would do him honour, if he would be guided by it—but unhappily he has conceived an opinion that his temper is too flexible—that he is too eaſily perſuaded—and the conſequence is—he'll never be perſuaded at all.

Mr. D.

I am ſorry to hear that—a man who is obſtinate from ſuch a miſtake, muſt be in the moſt incurable ſtage of the diſorder. However, we'll attack this man of might—his flexibility ſhall be beſieged, and if it won't capitulate, we'll undermine it.

Em.

Ah, Sir! my Uncle is in a ſtate of mind ill prepared for yielding—He returned from Spain with eager pleaſure to his native country; but the diſguſt he has conceiv'd for the alteration of manners during his abſence, has given him an impatience that you will hardly be able to combat.

Mr. D.

Take courage—let me now lead you back to your young companions—I am obliged to be abſent a ſhort time—but I'll watch over you, and, if poſſible, lead you to happineſs.

[Exit Drummond leading Emily.
Enter JUSTICE.
[tipſy]
Juſ.

Where the devil does my clerk ſtay with Burn! But I know I'm right—yes, yes, 'tis a clear caſe. By the ſtatute Anno Primo Caroli Secundum—obtaining goods on falſe pretences, felony, with benefit—hum—with benefit.—Now obtaining entrance into houſes, upon falſe pretences, muſt be worſe—I have no doubt but it amounts to a burglary, and that I ſhall be authorized to commit—Ho! here they are! where is my clerk and Burn?

[Exit.
Enter Mr. HARGRAVE and Lady DINAH.
Mr. H.

Aye, aye, here's a pretty buſineſs—bringing this Girl into my houſe now is the conſequence of Mr. Drummond's fine ſeelings—he will never take my advice—but I'll ſhew him who is beſt qualified to ſiſt into an affair of this ſort—and yet I am a little puzzled—a ſtroller—

Lady. D.

It is, doubtleſs, a ſtrange ſtory, Mr. Hargrave—and I beg that you will yourſelf queſtion my ſervant concerning it.

Mr. H.

Why, what can ſhe mean—what can her deſign be?

Lady D.

To you I ſhou'd imagine her deſign muſt be very obvious, 'though Mr. Drummond's penetration was ſo eaſily eluded—By aſſuming the airs and manners of a perſon of rank, ſhe doubtleſs expects to impoſe on the credulity of ſome young heir, and to procure—a jaunt to Scotland—that, Mr. Hargrave, I take to be her deſign.

Mr. H.
[56]

Hoh, ho, is it ſo—now I underſtand your Ladyſhip—if your man can prove what he aſſerts, be aſſured, Madam, ſhe ſhall not ſtay in my houſe another moment—I'll young heir the baggage.

Lady D.

But conſider, dear Mr. Hargrave, before you take any ſteps in this affair—that 'tis poſſible, we may have been deceived, for tho' my ſervant avows having been on the moſt intimate terms with her, he may be miſtaken in her perſon, you know.

Har.

Oh, Madam, I ſhall inquire into that—ſhe ſhall pick up no young heirs here, I warrant her—I ſhall ſee into that immediately.

[Going.
Enter Juſtice, leading in JARVIS by the button.
Juſt.

Here's the young man—the witneſs—I have brought him up in order to his examination.—Here,—do you ſtand there.—In the firſt place,—

[ſettling his wig]

in the firſt place, how old are you?

Har.

Fiddle de de—What ſignifies how old he is?

Juſt.

Why, yes it does—for—if he is not of age—

Har.

Pſha, pſha—I'll examine him myſelf. How long is it ſince you left the ſtrollers you were engaged with?

Jar.

It is about two years ſince I had the honour of being taken into my Lady's ſervice,—and at that time I left the company.

Har.

And did you leave the young woman in the company at that time?

Jar.

I did, Sir, and I have never ſeen her ſince till now.

Har.

I am ſtrangely puzzled—I don't know what to think—

Juſt.

It is indeed a difficult caſe—a very difficult caſe—I remember Burn in the chapter on Vagrants—

Har.

Prithee, be ſilent—at this time you are not likely to clear up matters at all.

Juſt.

A Juſtice be ſilent!—a ſilent Juſtice!—a pretty thing indeed—are we not the very mouth of the law?

Har.

What does your Ladyſhip adviſe?

Lady D.

I adviſe!—I don't adviſe, Mr. Hargrave.

Juſt.

Why then, let the parties be confronted—

Har.

Aye—let the parties be confronted.

Jar.

Ay, ay, let us be confronted: if I once ſpeak to her, ſhe'll be too much daſh'd to be able to deny the charge.

Enter Servant.
Ser.

Did your honour call?

Har.

Go and tell my daughter, that I deſire ſhe'll bring her viſitant here—the young Lady.

Jar.
[57]
[Aſide]

Two glaſſes of brandy, and tremble yet!—I wiſh I had ſwallow'd the third bumper.

Lady D.

Now, Mr. Hargrave, it will be exceedingly improper, that I ſhould be preſent at this interview, ſo I ſhall retire till the affair is ſettled.

[Going.
Mr. H.

'Sbud, my Lady, if you go, I'll go too—and the Juſtice may ſettle it as well as he can.

Juſ.

Nay, if you are for that—I ſhall be gone in a crack—I won't be left in the lurch—not I.

Lady D.

Bleſs me! I am ſurpriſed—only conſider what an imputation may be thrown on my character.

Enter HARRIET and EMILY.

So—now 'tis determin'd.

Har.

Robert inform'd us, Sir, that you requeſted our attendance.

Mr. H.

Yes, Harriet—I did ſend Robert—'tis about an odd affair—I had rather—but I don't know—pray, Madam—

[to Emily]

be ſo kind to tell us if you know any thing of that perſon—

[pointing to Jarvis.]
Em.

No, Sir, I believe not—I do not recollect—I may have ſeen him before.

Jar.

Oh, Miſs Jenny—you don't recollect—what, you have forgot your old companion William Jarvis?

Em.

I do not remember indeed, that I was ever honour'd with ſuch a companion—and the miſtake you have made of my name, convinces me that I never was.

Jar.

Pſha, pſha—this won't do now—you was always a good actreſs, but behind the ſcenes, you know, we uſed to come down from our ſtilts, and talk in our own proper perſons—Why ſure, you will not pretend to forget our adventures at Colcheſter—the affair of the Blue Domino at Warwick—nor the plot which you and Mrs. Varniſh laid againſt the Manager at Beconsfield.

Har.

Dear Sir, nothing is ſo evident, as that the man has miſtaken this Lady for another perſon—I—hope you'll permit us to go without hearing any more of his impertinence.

Mr. H.

If he is miſtaken, no excuſes will be ſufficient—I don't know what to ſay—'tis a perplexing buſineſs—but I wiſh you wou'd be ſo kind to anſwer the man, Madam.

Em.

Aſtoniſhment has kept me ſilent till now, Sir—and I muſt ſtill be ſilent—for I have not yet been taught to make defences.

[58] Enter GEORGE behind JARVIS.
Jar.

Dear Madam—why ſurely you have not forgot how often you have been my Juliet, and I your Alexander.

Geo.

Hark you, Sir,—if you dare utter another word to that Lady, I'll break every bone in your body—leave the room, raſcal, this inſtant.

Mr. H.

You are too hot, George—he ſhall ſtay—and ſince things have gone ſo far, I'll ſift the ſtory to the bottom—If the young Gentlewoman is not what he repreſents her, ſhe has nothing to fear—Speak boldly—where did you laſt ſee that Lady?

Juſ.

Aye, ſpeak boldly—give her a few more circumſtances, perhaps ſome of them may hit—People on occaſions of this ſort have generally ſhort memories.

Geo.

Surely, Sir, you cannot allow theſe horrid—

Mr. H.

I do allow, Sir—and if you can't be ſilent, leave the room.

Juſ.

Yes, Sir, or elſe you'll be committed for contempt of Court. Now, for your name, child, your name, and that of your family.

Em.

The name of my family, demanded on ſuch an occaſion, I think myſelf bound to conceal—my ſilence on that ſubject, hitherto aroſe from a point of delicacy—that motive is now greatly ſtrengthened, and I refuſe to diſcover a name—which my imprudent conduct has diſgraced.

Juſ.

Ho, ho—pray let the Lady be treated with reſpect—a perſon of Conſequence—ſtands upon Conſtitutional ground—a Patriot, I'll aſſure you—ſhe refuſes to anſwer Interrogatories.

Geo.

Sir, I cannot be any longer a ſilent witneſs of theſe inſults—Your preſence, Madam, ſupports that raſcal, or he ſhou'd feel the immediate effect of my reſentment.

Lady D.

Your reſentment will be unneceſſary Sir, if he is not ſupported by truth—I ſhall take care that he is properly puniſh'd.

[Enter Servant.
Sir.

A Gentleman in a coach-and-ſix enquires for your honour—his name is Morley.

Em.

Hah—'tis my Uncle—I no longer dread his preſence—now, Sir, you will be ſatisfied concerning my family.

[Exeunt Emily and Harriet.
Mr. H.
[to Lady D.]

Her Uncle—Heavens! Madam, what have we done!

[Exit Hargrave.
Lady D.

Done!—nothing—madneſs!

[aſide.
Juſ.
[59]

So, ſo—the niece of a man who keeps a coach and ſix!—we are got into a wrong box here—

ſhe can be no Patriot, our Patriots don't ride in coaches and ſix.

Geo.

Stay, Sir—we have not done with you yet—you muſt now exhibit another part in this ſcene—what ſays your oracle Burn to ſuch a fellow as this, Juſtice?

Juſ.

Ay, you raſcal—'tis now your turn—thou art a vilifier, a cheat, an impoſtor—'tis a downright conſpiracy—The niece of a man who keeps a coach and ſix!—why, how doſt think to eſcape? thou'lt cut a noble figure in the pillory, Mr. "Alexander the Great."

Jar.

Sir,—your honours—I humbly crave pardon for my miſtake—I cou'd have ſworn the Lady had been my old acquaintance, the likeneſs is ſo ſtrong.—But I humbly aſk pardon—my Lady!—

Lady D.

Expect no protection from me, I diſcharge you from my ſervice from this moment.—The dilemma into which you have deceived me excites my warmeſt reſentment.

Geo.

Since Your Ladyſhip gives him up, he has no other protection—Who's there?

[Enter Servants]

Secure this fellow till I have leiſure to inquire into the bottom of the affair—he is only the Agent, I am convinced.

Jar.
[Aſide.]

Aye, Sir, but I am dumb—or we ſhall loſe the reward.] I beſeech your honour—'twas all a miſtake.

Geo.

Take him away.

[Exeunt ſervants with Jarvis.
Lady D.
[Aſide.]

Hah—are you ſuſpicious, Sir!—I hope Suſan has not put me in this fellow's power—I muſt be ſure of that.

[Exit.
Juſ.

'Tis a conſpiracy, that's certain—and will, I believe, come under Scan. Mag.

for 'tis a moſt ſcandalous Libel—but hold—'gad-ſo—let me ſee—it can be no libel; 'tis a falſe ſtory—if it had been true—aye, then indeed—if it had been true

—but I'll go home and conſult Burn, and you ſhall know what he ſays. Egad, it won't be amiſs to get out of this Morley's way.

[Aſide.
[Exit Juſtice.
Geo.

Surely ſhe muſt have been privy to this ſcandalous plot—but 'tis no matter—my fate is at its criſis.—Mr. Morley's arrival fixes it.—At this moment my fortitude forſakes me, and I tremble to meet the Man, on whoſe caprice depends, the value of my exiſtence.

END OF THE FOURTH ACT.

ACT V.

[60]
SCENE, an Apartment.
Enter Mr. MORLEY and EMILY.
MORLEY.

A Pretty freak indeed!—a pretty freak, in return for the care and ſolicitude with which I have watch'd over you—I have broke with the Doctor for his ſhare in this romantic affair.

Em.

I am much concerned, Sir, that compaſſion to my ſituation ſhould have led that worthy Man to take any ſtep that you can think unpardonable—but when he found he cou'd not move my reſolution, he thought it his duty to accommodate me with a retreat amongſt perſons of reputation.

Mar.

Retreat!—ſo, whilſt I was condemning my ſweet inno [...]ent Niece for ſtubbornneſs, wilfulneſs, and ingratitude—ſhe was only gone to a retreat to ſit under elms, liſten to the cawing of rooks, and carve her melancholy ſtory on the young bark—Oh, Emily, Emily! you ought to be made repent of this retreat, as you call it, as long as you live.

Em.

Indeed, Sir, I do repent.

Mor.

What's that?—repent!—my dear Emily, I am rejoiced to hear you ſay ſo—I knew you was always a good Girl on the, whole—come, it ſha'n't be a misfortune to you—I'll make Baldwin ſwear, before the ceremony, that he'll never reproach—

Em.

Sir, I muſt not deceive you—my repentance does not concern Mr. Baldwin—he is—pardon me, Sir—my ſentiments with regard to him, are, if poſſible, ſtrengthen'd.

Mor.

Are they ſo, Miſtreſs? then farewell to humourings—ſince your ſentiments are ſo ſtrong, your reſolution cannot be weak—'twill enable you to bear this dreaded fate with heroiſm.

Em.

I am glad you can be ſo ſportive with my unhappineſs, Sir—where you jeſt with miſery, you always deſign to leſſon it.

Mor.

Aye, that won't do—the eaſineſs of my temper. Girl, has been my great misfortune. I never made a miſtake in trade in my life, never, but have been perſuaded, and liſten'd to advice, till I have been half ruined

—but I'll be reſolute now for your ſake.

Em.
[61]

Surely, Sir—

Mor.

Aye, aye—I underſtand that ſpeaking face—there is not a line in it, but calls me Monſter—however, Madam, after your retreat, you can never expect to be the wife of another—ſo ſnap Baldwin while you can.

Em.

Oh, Sir, allow me to live ſingle, I have no wiſh for the married ſtate—ſince he to whom my heart is devoted muſt be the huſband of another.

Mor.

No wiſh for the married ſtate! ha, ha, ha!—why, 'tis the ultimate wiſh of every woman's heart—you all want Huſbands, from your doll to your ſpectacles.

Em.

The perſon with whom one enters into ſo important an union ſhou'd be at leaſt agreeable, or—

Mor.

What an age this is!—Why, huſſey, in the days of your great Grand-mother, a Girl on the point of marriage had never dared to look above her lover's beard—and would have been a wife a week before ſhe cou'd have told the colour of her huſband's eyes—But, now, a Girl of eighteen will ſtare her ſuitor confidently in the face, and, after five minutes converſation, give an account of every feature and peculiarity, from his brow to his buckle

—But pray, Madam, what is itin Baldwin now, that ſo particularly hits your fancy?

Em.

His perſon is ungraceful, his manner aſſuming, and his mind effeminate.

Mor.

Very true—and is not this the deſcription of all the young men of the age?—but he has five thouſand a year, that's not quite ſo common a circumſtance. Come, take the pencil again, lay on coarſer colours, or you won't convince me the picture's a bad one—conſidering the times.

Em.

Hah!—how different is Mr. Hargrave!—if I could urge his merit

[aſide]

—You have heard my objections ſo often, Sir, that the repetition can have no weight—but, ſurely, I may urge my happineſs.

Mor.

By all means, it ſhall be conſider'd, therefore—John, order my carriage up, we are going directly—tho' you don't deſerve it—the very moment we reach Groſvenor-ſtreet, you ſhall be tied faſt to Baldwin, who is now waiting there with the parſon at his elbow—and we'll this moment ſtep into the carriage, and away as briſkly, as if Cupid was our coachman—come now, don't put on that melancholy air—'tis only to turn the tables—fancy that I hate Baldwin—that you are driving to Scotland, and I purſuing you—why the horſes will move ſo ſlowly, you'll be ready to ſwear they don't gallop above three rood an hour.

Em.

I entreat you, dear Sir, ſtay, at leaſt, till to-morrow.—Oh, where is Mr. Drummond?

[aſide.
Mor.
[62]

Not a moment.

Em.

You have not yet ſeen Mr. Drummond, to whom I am ſo much oblig'd.

Mor.

I have made enquiries, and have heard a very extraordinary character of Mr. Drummond; we can make him acknowledgments by letter—and you may ſend him gloves.—I know your deſign, you hope he will be able to talk me out of my reſolution—and, perhaps, I may be a little afraid of it myſelf,—and ſo, to avoid that danger, we'll go directly.

Em.

'Tis ſo late, Sir,—and the night is dark.—

[Aſide]

Yet why ſhould I wiſh to ſtay here?

Mor.

No more trifling—conduct me to the family, that we may take leave. If you complain of this as an act of tyranny—be comforted, Child, 'tis the laſt you'll experience from me—my authority will expire with the night, and tomorrow morning, I ſhall be my dear Niece Baldwin's moſt humble ſervant.

Exeunt.
Enter GEORGE and Sir CHARLES.
Geo.

What, refuſe me your aſſiſtance in ſuch an hour—talk to me of prudence in a moment when I muſt be mad, if I am human! yes, be prudent, Sir, be prudent,—the man who can be diſcreet when his friend's happineſs is at ſtake, may gain the approbation of his own heart, but mine renounces him—Where can Mr. Drummond be?

Sir Ch.

I am at your command in every thing—I aſk you only to reflect.

Geo.

Yes, I do reflect, that in a few hours ſhe will be irrecoverably another's—loſt to me for ever—unfeeling brute! to ſacrifice ſuch a Woman to a man whom ſhe deſpiſes!

Sir Ch.

What then is your reſolution?

Geo.

There is but one way—ſhe hangs on the point of a precipice, from which, if I do not ſnatch her in an inſtant, nothing can retrieve her.—We will follow the carriage on horſeback; let your chaiſe attend us with our ſervants—I'll force her from this tyrant Uncle, carry her inſtantly to Dover, and in a few hours, breathe out my ſoul at her feet—in ſweet ſecurity in France.

Sir Ch.

Conſidering your plan is an impromptu, I admire its conſiſtency—but, my dear George, have you weighed all its conſequences?—your Father—

Geo.

Will perhaps diſinherit me—be it ſo—I have ſix hundred a year independent of his will—and ſix hundred a year in France with Emily Morly—kingdoms! empires! paradiſe!

Sir Ch.
[63]

But are you certain ſhe will partake it with you?

Geo.

No—but ſuppoſing the worſt—I ſhall, at leaſt, have had the happineſs to preſerve her from a fate ſhe dreads—for the reſt I will truſt to time and my ardent paſſion.

Sir Ch.

Pity the days of chivalry are over, or what applauſe might'ſt thou not expect—advent'rous Knight!

Geo.

Come, we have not a moment to loſe—let us get our people ready to follow, the inſtant the carriage ſets out.

Sir Ch.

But, George—George—I'll not accompany you a ſtep, after the Lady's in your protection—for if your Father ſhou'd ſurmiſe that I have any hand in the enlevement, I can hope for no ſucceſs, when I aſk him for my charming Harriet.

Geo.

Agreed—let me have your chaiſe, and leave me to my fortune—I will not endanger your happineſs—this key will let you in at the garden-door—you may give fifty reaſons for your ſhort abſence.—Now, Cupid, Venus, Jove and Juno, leap into your chariots, and deſcend to our aſſiſtance.

[Exeunt Sir Charles and George.
Enter Lady DINAH.
Lady D.

She's gone, and my alarms are at an end—'tis plain I had never the leaſt foundation for my fears—what paſs'd in the garden was mere gallantry, and the effects of her art; he ſuffered her Uncle to carry her off with an indifference that tranſports me. How weak have I been, to allow my credulity to be impoſed on by their ſuggeſtions, and my temper ruffled at a time when 'twas of ſo much importance to me to have been ſerene!

Enter SUSAN.
Suſan.

Oh, my Lady, ſhe's gone—the delightful obſtinacy of the old Uncle—It is well Mr. Drummond was not here—I was afraid—

Lady D.

Your joy wears a very familiar aſpect—I know ſhe's gone.

Suſan.

I beg pardon, my Lady—I thought I might congratulate your Ladyſhip on her being carried off—I was terribly afraid—

Lady D.

Yes, you have had moſt extraordinary fears on the occaſion. You ought to have known, that the man whom I had receiv'd as my Lover, could never have felt any thing like a ſerious paſſion for ſuch a girl as that.

Suſ.

So, ſo, ſo! how ſoon our ſpirits are got up!

[aſide.]

I am ſure, my Lady, 'twas not I who occaſioned the interview in the garden to-day, that ſo enraged you, and confirmed your fears—you was ready enough then to believe all that was ſaid againſt her.

Lady D.
[64]

How dare you reproach me with the errors which you led me into?—'twas your fears I was govern'd by, and not my own; and your ridiculous plot was as abſurd as your fears.

Suſ.

As to the plot, my Lady, I am ſure 'twas a good one, and would have ſent her packing, if the Uncle hadn't come—'twasn't our fault he came—We have had the ſame trouble, and—ſervice is no inheritance, and I hope your Ladyſhip will conſider—

Lady D.

How dare you think of a reward for ſuch conduct?—If you obtain my pardon, you ought to be highly gratified—leave me, Inſolent, this moment.

Suſ.
[muttering.]

Ha!—and dare you uſe me in this manner?—I am glad you have betrayed yourſelf in time, when I can take a ſevere revenge?

[aſide.]
[Ex. Suſ.
Lady D.

I have gone too far—Now muſt I court my ſervant, to forget the reſentment which her impertinence occaſioned—Well, 'tis but for a ſhort time—the marriage over, and I have done with her—

I muſt retire to my apartment, to recover my compoſure: perhaps he'll viſit me there—but not to talk of veneration and reſpect again—Oh! I'll torment him for that. Nothing gives a Woman ſo fine an opportunity of plaguing her Lover, as an affectation off jealouſy: if ſhe feels it, ſhe's his Slave; but, whilſt ſhe affects it—his Tyrant.

[Exit.
Enter BELLA and HARRIET.
Har.

How very unfortunate, that Mr. Drummond is abſent!—he would have oppoſed the reaſoning of Lady Dinah; and prevented their departure—Sure, never any thing was ſo cruel.

Bel.

Oh, there's no bearing it—Your Father is quite a manageable being, compared to this odd, provoking mortal, whoſe imagined flexibility baffles art, reaſon, and every thing.

Har.

Never ſhall I forget the look, wild, yet compoſed—agonized tho' calm, which ſhe gave me, as her Uncle led her out. Her Lover muſt poſſeſs ſtrange ſentiments, to reſolve to marry her, in ſpite of her averſion.

Bel.

Sentiments! my dear—why he's a modern fine Gentleman; there is nothing he's ſo much afraid of as a fond Wife—If I was Miſs Morley, I'd affect a moſt formidable fondneſs, and ten to one but ſhe'd get rid of him.

Har.

I wonder where Sir Charles is—he paſs'd me in the hall, and ſaid in a haſty manner, he muſt tear himſelf front me for half an hour.

Bel.

I wonder rather where your Brother is—but the heart of a woman in love, is as unnatural as the oſtrich's; it [65] is no longer alive to any ſentiment but one, and the tendereſt connexions are abſorbed in its paſſion.

Har.

I hope it is not in your own heart, you find this picture of love.

Enter Sir CHARLES.
Bel.

Oh—here's one of our truants, but where's the other?—poor George, I ſuppoſe, is binding his brow with willows.

Sir Ch.

That's not George's ſtyle in love—he has too much ſpirit to croſs his arms, and talk to his ſhadow, when he may employ his hours to more advantage at the feet of a fair Lady.

Bel.

What do you mean?

Har.

Where is my Brother?

Sir Ch.

On the road to France.

Both.

France!

Sir Ch.

Unleſs Mr. Morley has as much valour as obſtinacy—for George has purſued him, and, by this time, I dare ſwear has gained poſſeſſion of his Niece.

Bel.

Oh! how I doat on his Knight-errantry!—commend me to a lover, who, inſtead of patiently ſubmitting to the circumſtances that ſeparate him from the object of his paſſion,—boldly takes the reins of Fortune in his own hands, and governs the accidents which he can't avoid.

Har.

How can you praiſe ſuch a daring conduct? I tremble for the conſequences!

Sir Ch.

What conſequences, Madam, can he dread, who ſnatches the woman he loves from the arms of the man ſhe hates?

Enter Servant.
Ser.

My Maſter, Sir, is returned—the Lady fainted in the chaiſe, and he has carried her to Mr. Drummond's.

Ch.

The devil!—is he at home?

Ser.

No, Sir—and Mr. Morley is come back too—he drove thro' the gates this minute.

Bel.

Nay, then George will loſe her at laſt—he was a fool for not purſuing his route.

Sir Ch.

He has no chance now, but thro' Mr. Drummond; and what can he hope? Mr. Drummond has only reaſon on his ſide, and the paſſions of three to combat.

Bel.

Ay, here he comes—and Mr. Hargrave, as loud as his huntſman.

Har.

Let us fly to the parlour, and then we can ſend intelligence of what paſſes to George.

[Exeunt.
[66] Enter Mr. MORLEY and Mr. HARGRAVE.
Mr. M.

Yes, yes, 'tis fact—matter of fact, upon my honour—Your Son was the perſon who took her out of the coach.

Mr. H.

Sir, it is impoſſible!—ha, ha, ha!—my Son!—why, he's under engagements that wou'd make it madneſs.

Mr. M.

Then, Sir, you may depend upon it, tho fit is on him now, for he clapt Emily into a chaiſe, whilſt an impudent puppy faſten'd on me—egad! twenty years ago I'd have given him ſauce to his Corniſh hug—I could not diſcern his face—but t'other I'll ſwear to.

Mr. H.

George! look for George there! I'll convince you, Sir, inſtantly—ha, ha!

Enter HARRIET.
Mr. H.

Where's George?

Har.

Sir, my Brother is at Mr. Drummond's.

Mr. H.

There! I knew it could not be him, though you would not be perſuaded.

Mr. M.

What a plague! you can't perſuade me out of my ſenſes—Your Son, I aver, took her out of the coach—with her own conſent, no doubt, and on an honourable deſign, without doubt—Sir, I give you joy of your daughter.

Mr. H.

If it is on an honourable deſign, they may live on their honour, or ſtarve with it—not a ſingle ſous ſhall they have of me—but I won't yet believe my George cou'd be ſuch a fool.

Mr. M.

Fool! Sir—The man who loves Emily gives no ſuch proof of folly neither—but ſhe ſhall be puniſhed for hers—'twas a concerted affair, I ſee it plainly, all agreed upon—but ſhe ſhall repent.

Mr. H.

Your reſentment, Sir, is extraordinary—I muſt tell you that my Son's anceſtry, or the eſtate to which he is heir—if he has not forfeited by his diſobedience, are not objects for the contempt of any man.

Mr. M.

Very likely, Sir,—but they are objects to which I ſhall never be reconciled—What! have I been toiling theſe thirty years in Spain, to make my Niece a match for any man in England—to have her fortune ſettled by an adventure in a poſt-chaiſe, an evening's frolick for a young ſpark, who had nothing to do but puſh the old fellow into a corner, and whiſk off with the girl? Sir, if there was not another man in the kingdom, your Son ſhou'd not have my conſent to marry Emily.

Mr. H.

And if there was not another woman in England, I'd ſuffer the name of Hargrave to be annihilated, rather than he ſhould be huſband to your Niece.

[Hargrave and M [...]rl [...]y walk about the Stage diſordered.]
[67] Enter Mr. DRUMMOND.
Mr. D.

Gone!—her Uncle arrived, and the amiable girl gone—What infatuation, Mr. Hargrave, cou'd render you ſo blind to the happineſs that awaited your family?—I'll follow this obdurate man—where's George?—look for George there—he ſhall hear reaſon.

Mr. H.

There, Sir—that's the perſon to whom you muſt addreſs your complaints.

Mr. D.

Unfortunate!—I have made diſcoveries, that muſt have ſhaken even your prejudices—

[to Mr. Hargrave]

—but this Uncle!—ſurely, my dear Harriet, you might have prevailed.

Har.

Sir, this gentleman is Mr. Morley—Mr. Drummond, Sir.

Mr. D.

Hah! I beg pardon, Sir, I am rejoiced to ſee you; I underſtood you were gone.

Mr. M.

I was gone, Sir; but I was robb'd of my Niece on the road—ſhe was taken out of my coach, and carried off—which forced me to return.

Mr. D.

Carried off!

Mr. H.

Aye, Sir, carried off by George, whom you have trained to ſuch a knowledge of his duty.

Mr. M.

Stopt on the King's highway, Sir, by the fiery youth, and my Niece dragg'd from my ſide.

Mr. D.

Admirable!

Mr. H.

What's this right too?—By heaven, it is not to be borne.

Mr. D.

Where are they?

Har.

At your houſe, Sir—

Mr. M.

What a country am I fallen into! can a perſon of your age and character approve of ſo raſh and daring—

Mr. H.

Let George do what he will—he's ſure of his approbation.

Mr. D.

Gentlemen—if you are ſure Miſs Morley is at my houſe, I am patience itſelf—ſhe is too rich a prize to be gained without ſome warfare.

Mr. M.

Sir, I am reſolved to—

Enter Lady DINAH.
[Exit HARRIET frighten'd]
Lady D.

So, Mr. Hargrave! ſo, Sir!—what, your Son—this new inſult deprives me of utterance—but your Son—what is the reaſon of this complicated outrage?

Mr. H.

My dear Lady Dinah, I am as much enraged as you can be—but he ſhall fulfill his engagements—depend on it, he ſhall.

Mr. M.
[68]

Engagements!—what the young Gentleman was engaged too!—a very fine youth! upon my word.

Lady D.
[to Mr. Hargrave]

Your honour is concern'd, Sir—and if I was ſure he was drawn in by the girl's art, and that he was convinced of the impropriety—

Mr. M.

Drawn in by the girl's art!—whatever cauſe I may have to be offended with my Niece's conduct, Madam, no perſon ſhall ſpeak of her with contempt in my preſence—I preſume, this gentleman's ſon was engaged to your daughter, but that's not a ſufficient reaſon for—

Lady D.

Daughter! impertinent!—No, Sir, 'twas to me that he was engaged—and, but for the arts of your Niece—

Mr. M.

To you!—A matrimonial negociation between that young Fellow and you!—Nay then, 'fore George, I don't wonder at your ill temper—A diſappointment in love at your time of life muſt be the devil.

Lady D.

Mr. Hargrave, do you ſuffer me to be thus inſulted?

Mr. H.

Why, my Lady, we muſt bear ſomething from this Gentleman—the miſtake we made about his Niece, was a very ugly buſineſs.

Mr. D.

I entreat you, Madam, to retire from a Family, to whom, if you ſuffer me to explain myſelf—

Lady D.

What new inſolence is this?

Mr. D.

I would ſpare you, my Lady, but you will not ſpare yourſelf—Bluſh then, whilſt I accuſe you of entering into a baſe league with your Servants, to blaſt the reputation of an amiable young Lady, and drive her from the protection of Mr. Hargrave's family.

Mr. H.

What! a league with her Servants?

[aſide.]
Lady D.

And how dare you accuſe me of this—Am I to anſwer for the conduct of my ſervants?

Mr. D.

The villainy of your ſervants is the conſequence of thoſe principles with which you have poiſon'd their minds. Robb'd of their religion, they were left without ſupport—againſt temptations to which you, Madam, have felt, Philoſophy oppoſes its ſhield in vain.

Lady D.

I feel his ſuperiority to my inmoſt ſoul—but he ſhall not ſee his triumph

[aſide]

—Is it your virtue which prompts you to load me with injuries, to induce Mr. Hargrave to break through every tie of honour—through the moſt ſacred engagements!

Mr. D.

I have juſt heard theſe terms, nearly as much proſtituted by your ſervants, who reproach you with not keeping your engagements to them.

Lady D.
[69]

Ha! Am I then betrayed?

[aſide.]
Enter GEORGE, leading EMILY.
Geo.

Miſs Morley, Sir, commanded me to lead her to you—I cannot aſk you to pardon a raſhneſs, of which I do not repent.

Mr. H.

Then I ſhall make you, I fancy.

Mr. M.

Hah—did you really wiſh to return to me?

Em.

I left Mr. Drummond's, Sir, the moment I knew you were here.

Mr. M.

That's a good girl—I'll remember it. Come, child, the coach is at the door, and we muſt make ſpeed to retrieve our loſt time. But have a care, young Gentleman,—tho' I have pardon'd your extravagance once, a ſecond attempt ſhall find me prepared for your reception.

Geo.

If Miſs Morley conſents to go with you, Sir, you have no ſecond attempt to fear. But ſince this moment is the criſis of our fate, thus I entreat you

[kneeling]

—you, to whom I have ſworn eternal love, to become my wife. Conſent, my charming Emily, and every moment of my future life ſhall thank you.

Mr. M.

So, ſo, ſo!

Mr. H.

What, without my leave?

Lady D.

Amazing!

[All together.
Em.

At ſuch a moment as this, meanly to diſguiſe my ſentiments would be unworthy of the woman, to whom you offer ſuch a ſacrifice—obtain the conſent of thoſe who have a right to diſpoſe of us, and I'll give you my hand at the altar.

Mr. M.

That you will not, my frank Madam—ſo no more ceremony, but away.

[ſeizing her arm, and going off.]
Mr. D.

And will you go, impenetrable man—I have diſcovered, Sir, that your Niece is the daughter of Major Morley, who was one of the earlieſt friends of my youth—He would not have borne the diſtreſs ſhe now endures—I will be a father to his orphan Emily, and enſure the felicity of two children, on the point of being ſacrificed to the ambition and avarice of thoſe, on whoſe hearts Nature has graven duties, which they wilfully miſpel.

Lady D.

What, Sir, are you not content with the inſults you have offer'd to me and Mr. Hargrave, but you muſt interfere with this Gentleman in the diſpoſal of his Niece!

Mr. M.

What right have you, Sir, to diſpoſe of our Children?

Mr. H.

Aye, very true, you don't know how to value the authority of a parent.

Drum.
[70]

Miſtaken Men! into what an abyſs of miſery—perhaps of guilt, wou'd you plunge them!—they claim from you happineſs; and you with-hold it—they ſhall receive it from me. I will ſettle the jointur'd land of my Harriet on Miſs Morley, and George ſhall now partake that fortune to which I have already made him heir.

Mr. H.

Ay, there's no ſtopping him—what can theſe ſervants have told him, that makes him ſo warm?—Egad, I'll hear their tale.

[Exit, unperceived by Lady Dinah.
Mr. M.

Why, Sir, this is extraordinary friendſhip indeed! fettle jointur'd lands—I am glad Brother Tom had prudence enough to form ſuch a connection, 'twas ſeldom he minded the main chance—Honour and a greaſy knapſack, running about after ragged colours, inſtead—

Mr. D.

Sir, I have ſerved, and I love the profeſſion.—The army is not more the ſchool of honour than of philoſophy—A true ſoldier is a citizen of the world; he conſiders every man of honour as his brother, and the urbanity of his heart gains his Country ſubjects, whilſt his ſword only vanquiſhes her foes.

Mr. M.

Nay, if you have all this Romance, I don't wonder at your propoſal—however, tho' your jointure lands might have been neceſſary for Major Morly's Daughter—My Niece, Sir, if ſhe marries with my conſent, ſhall be obliged to no man for a fortune.

Lady D.

The inſolence of making me witneſs to this is inſupportable—Is this you, Sir, who this very morning paid your vows to me?

Geo.

Pardon, Madam, the error of this morning; I imagined myſelf paying my devoirs to a Lady who was to become my Mother.

Lady D.

Your Mother! Sir—Your Mother!—Mr. Hargrave—ha, where is Mr. Hargrave?

Enter Mr. HARGRAVE.
Mr. H.

I am here, my Lady—and have juſt heard a tale of ſo atrocious a nature from your ſervants—that I wou'd not, for half my eſtate, ſuch an affair ſhou'd have happen'd in my family.

Lady D.

And can you believe the malicious tale?

Mr. H.

Indeed I do.

Lady D.

Mr. Drummond's arts have then ſucceeded.

Mr. H.

Your arts have not ſucceeded, my Lady, and you have no chance for a huſband now, I believe, unleſs you prevail on George to run off with you.

Lady D.

Inſolent wretches!—order my chaiſe, I will not ſtay another moment beneath this roof—when perſons of my [71] rank, thus condeſcend to mix with Plebeians—like the Phoenix, which ſometimes appears within the ken of common birds, they are ſtared at, jeered and hooted, till they are forced to aſcend again to their proper region, to eſcape the flouts of—ignorance and envy.

[Exit.
Mr. M.

Well ſaid, a rare ſpirit, faith, I ſee Ladies of quality have their privileges too.—

[As Lady D. goes off, Geo. fixes his eye on his Father, and points after her.]
Mr. H.
[catching George's hand.]

My dear Boy, I believe we were wrong here—and I am heartily glad we have eſcaped—but I ſuppoſe you'll forget it when I tell you I have no objection to your endeavouring to prevail on this gentleman—

Geo.

Nothing, dear Sir, can prevent my feeling the moſt unbounded gratitude for the permiſſion—now may I hope, Sir—

Mr. M.

Hope, Sir!—Upon my word I don't know what to ſay, you have ſomehow contriyed to carry matters to ſuch a length—that aſking my conſent is become a matter of form.

Mr. H.

Upon my ſoul, I begin to find out, that in ſome caſes one's children ſhould lead.—Come, Sir,—do keep me in countenance, that I mayn't think I yielded too ſoon.

Mr. D.

Your conſent, Sir, is all we want, to become a very joyous circle—let us prevail on you to permit your beloved Emily to receive the addreſſes of my Godſon, and you will many happy years hence recollect his boldneſs on the road, as the moſt fortunate reneounter of your life: you ſhall come and live amongſt us, and we'll reconcile you to your native country: notwithſtanding our ideas of the degeneracy of the times, we ſhall find room enough to act virtuouſly, and to enjoy in England, more ſecurely than in any other country in the world,—the rewards of virtue.

Mr. M.

Sir, I like you—promiſe me your friendſhip—and you ſhall diſpoſe of my Niece.

Mr. D.

I accept the condition with pleaſure.

Mr. M.

There it is now, this is always the way—perſuaded out of every reſolution—a perfect proverb for flexibility.

Geo.

Oh, Sir, permit me—

Mr. M.

Nay, no extacies—Emily diſlikes you now you've got me on your ſide. What ſay you?

[to Em.]

don't you begin to feel your uſual reluctance?

Em.

The proof I have given of my ſentiments, Sir, admits of no diſguiſe—or, if diſguiſe were neceſſary, I could not aſſume it.

Geo.

Enchanting frankneſs! my heart, my life muſt thank you for this goodneſs. But what ſhall I ſay to you—

[to Drummond]

to you, Sir, to whom I already owe more than—

Mr. D.

To me you owe nothing—the heart, George, muſt have ſome attachments—Mine has for many years been [72] center'd in you—If I have ſtruggled for your happineſs—'twas to gratify myſelf.

Geo.

Oh, Sir! why will you continually give me ſuch feelings, and yet refuſe them utterance?—Seymour, behold the happieſt of men!

Sir Cha.

May your bliſs, my dear George, be as permanent as 'tis great.—

[To Hargrave]

Allow me, Sir, to ſeize this propitious moment to aſk your conſent to a ſecond union—Permit me to entreat Miſs Hargrave for her hand, and I'll prove George a vain boaſter, when he calls himſelf the happieſt of men.

Har.

Why, Sir Charles, you have choſen a very lucky moment—but there's no moment in which I ſhould not have heard this requeſt with pleaſure. Why, Harriet—if we may believe your eyes, you are not very angry with Sir Charles for this requeſt.

Har.

A requeſt, Sir, which gives you ſo much pleaſure ought not to give your Harriet pain.

Bel.

Lord! you look ſo inſulting with your happineſs, and ſeem to think I make ſuch an aukward figure amongſt you—but here

[taking a letter from her pocket]

—this informs me—that a certain perſon—

Geo.

Of the name of—Belville—

Bel.

Be quiet—is landed at Dover, and poſting here—with all the fancy confidence our engagements inſpire him with.

Mr. D.

Say you ſo?—Then we'll have the three weddings celebrated on the ſame day.

Bel.

Oh mercy!—I won't hear of it—Love, one might manage that perhaps—but honour, obey,—'tis ſtrange the Ladies had never intereſt enough to get this ungallant ſorm mended.

Mr. D.

The marriage vow, my dear Bella, was wiſely framed for common apprehenſions—Love teaches a train of duties that no vow can reach—that refined minds only can perceive—but which they pay with the moſt delighted attention. You are now entering on this ſtate—may You—and You

[to Bella, ſignificantly]

and You

[to the audience]

poſſeſs the bli [...]sful envied lot of—Married Lovers!

FINIS.
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