A NARRATIVE of the LIFE OF Mrs. Charlotte Charke.

AS the following Hiſtory is the Product of a Female Pen, I tremble for the terrible Hazard it muſt run in ventur⯑ing into the World, as it may very poſſibly ſuffer, in many Opinions, without peruſing it; I therefore humbly move for its having the common Chance of a Criminal, at leaſt to be properly examin'd, before it is condemn'd: And ſhould it be found guilty of Nonſenſe [12] and Inconſiſtencies, I muſt conſequently reſign it to its deſerved Puniſhment; inſtead of being honour'd with the laſt Row of a Library, undergo the Indignancy of preſerving the Syrup of many a choice Tart; which, when purchas'd, even the haſty Child will ſoon give an Inſtance of its Contempt of my Muſe, by committing to the Flames, or perhaps caſt it to the Ground, to be trampled to Death by ſome Thread-bare Poet, whoſe Works might poſſibly have undergone the ſame Malevolence of Fate.

However, I muſt beg Leave to inform thoſe Ladies and Gentlemen, whoſe Tenderneſs and Compaſſion may excite 'em to make this little Brat of my Brain the Companion of an idle Hour, that I have paid all due Regard to Decency wherever I have introduc'd the Paſſion of Love; and have only ſuffer'd it to take its Courſe in its proper and neceſſary Time, without fulſomely inflaming the Minds of my young Readers, or ſhamefully offend⯑ing thoſe of riper Years; a Fault I have often condemn'd, when I was myſelf but a Girl, in ſome Female Poets. I ſhall not deſcant on their Imprudence, only wiſh that their Works had been leſs confined to that Theme, which too often led 'em into Errors, Reaſon and Modeſty equally forbid.

[13] In Regard to the various Subjects of my Story, I have, I think, taken Care to make 'em ſo intereſting, that every Perſon who reads my Volume may bear a Part in ſome Circum⯑ſtance or other in the Peruſal, as there is no⯑thing inſerted but what may daily happen to every Mortal breathing.

Not that I would have the Publick con⯑ceive, tho' I am endeavouring to recommend it to their Protection, that my Vanity can ſo far overcome my ſmall Share of Reaſon, as to impute the Succeſs it ſhould meet with to any other Motive, than a kind Condeſcenſion in my Readers to pity and encourage one, who has uſed her utmoſt Endeavours to en⯑tertain 'em.

As I have promis'd to give ſome Account of my UNACCOUNTABLE LIFE, I ſhall no longer detain my Readers in reſpect to my Book, but ſatisfy a Curioſity which has long ſubſiſted in the Minds of many: And, I believe, they will own, when they know my Hiſtory, if Oddity can plead any Right to Surprize and Aſtoniſhment, I may poſitively claim a Title to be ſhewn among the Wonders of Ages paſt, and thoſe to come. Nor will I, to eſcape a Laugh, even at my own Ex⯑pence, [14] deprive my Readers of that pleaſing Satisfaction, or conceal any Error, which I now rather ſigh to reflect on; but formerly, thro' too much Vacancy of Thought, might be idle enough rather to juſtify than con⯑demn.

I ſhall now begin my Detail of the ſeveral Stages I have paſs'd thro' ſince my Birth, which made me the laſt-born of Mr. Colley Cibber, at a Time my Mother began to think, without this additional Bleſſing (meaning my ſweet Self) ſhe had fully anſwer'd the End of her Creation, being juſt Forty-five Years of Age when ſhe produc'd her laſt, ‘"THO' NOT LEAST IN LOVE."’ Nor was I exempted from an equal Share in my Father's Heart; yet, partly thro' my own Indiſcretion (and, I am too well convinc'd, from the cruel Cenſure of falſe and evil Tongues) ſince my Maturity, I loſt that Bleſſing: Which, if ſtrongeſt Compunction and uninterrupted Hours of Anguiſh, blended with Self-conviction and filial Love, can move his Heart to Pity and Forgiveneſs, I ſhall, with Pride and unutterable Tranſport, throw myſelf at his Feet, to im⯑plore the only Benefit I deſire or expect, his BLESSING, and his PARDON.

[15] But of that, more hereafter—And I hope, ere this ſmall Treatiſe is finiſh'd, to have it in my Power to inform my Readers, my painful Separation from my once tender Father will be more than amply repaid, by a happy Interview; as I am certain neither my preſent or future Conduct, ſhall ever give him Cauſe to bluſh at what I ſhould eſteem a juſtifiable and neceſſary Reconciliation, as 'tis the abſolute Ordination of the Supreme that we ſhould forgive, when the Offender becomes a ſincere and hearty Penitent. And I poſitively de⯑clare, were I to expire this Inſtant, I have no ſelf-intereſted Views, in Regard to worldly Matters; but confeſs myſelf a Miſer in my Wiſhes ſo far, as having the tranſcendant Joy of knowing that I am reſtor'd to a Happineſs, which not only will clear my Reputation to the World, in Regard to a former Want of Duty, but, at the ſame Time, give a convinc⯑ing Proof that there are yet ſome Sparks of Tenderneſs remaining in my Father's Boſom, for his REPENTANT CHILD.

I confeſs, I believe I came not only an un⯑expected, but an unwelcome Gueſt into the amily, (excluſive of my Parents,) as my Mother had borne no Children for ſome few Years before; ſo that I was rather regarded [16] as an impertinent Intruder, than one who had a natural Right to make up the circular Number of my Father's Fire-Side: Yet, be it as it may, the Jealouſy of me, from her other Children, laid no Reſtraint on her Fondneſs for me, which my Father and ſhe both teſti⯑fied in their tender Care of my Education. His paternal Love omitted nothing that could improve any natural Talents Heaven had been pleas'd to endow me with; the Mention of which, I hope, won't be imputed to me as a vain Self-conceit, of knowing more, or thinking better, than any other of my Siſter Females. No! far be it from me; for as all Advantages from Nature are the favourable Gifts of the Power Divine, conſequently no Praiſe can be arrogated to ourſelves, for that which is not in ourſelves POSSIBLE TO BE⯑STOW.

I ſhould not have made this Remark, but, as 'tis likely my Works may fall into the Hands of People of diſproportion'd Under⯑ſtandings, I was willing to prevent an Error a weak Judgment might have run into, by in⯑conſiderately throwing an Odium upon me, I could not poſſibly deſerve—FOR, ALAS! ALL CANNOT JUDGE ALIKE.

[17] As I have inſtanc'd, that my Education was not only a genteel, but in Fact a liberal one, and ſuch indeed as might have been ſuffi⯑cient for a Son inſtead of a Daughter; I muſt beg Leave to add, that I was never made much acquainted with that neceſſary Utenſil which forms the houſwifely Part of a young Lady's Education, call'd a Needle; which I handle with the ſame clumſey Awkwardneſs a Monkey does a Kitten, and am equally capable of uſing the one, as Pug is of nurſing the other.

This is not much to be wonder'd at, as my Education conſiſted chiefly in Studies of va⯑rious Kinds, and gave me a different Turn of Mind than what I might have had, if my Time had been employ'd in ornamenting a Piece of Canvas with Beaſts, Birds and the Alphabet; the latter of which I underſtood in French, rather before I was able to ſpeak Engliſh.

As I have promis'd to conceal nothing that might raiſe a Laugh, I ſhall begin with a ſmall Specimen of my former Madneſs, when I was but four Years of Age. Hav⯑ing, even then, a paſſionate Fondneſs for a Perriwig, I crawl'd out of Bed one Sum⯑mer's Morning at Twickenham, where my [18] Father had Part of a Houſe and Gardens for the Seaſon, and, taking it into my ſmall Pate, that by Dint of a Wig and a Waiſtcoat, I ſhould be the perfect Repreſentative of my Sire, I crept ſoftly into the Servants-Hall, where I had the Night before eſpied all Things in Order, to perpetrate the happy Deſign I had framed for the next Morning's Expedition. Accordingly I paddled down Stairs, taking with me my Shoes, Stockings, and little Dimity Coat; which I artfully contrived to pin up, as well as I could, to ſupply the Want of a Pair of Breeches. By the Help of a long Broom, I took down a Waiſtcoat of my Brother's, and an enormous buſhy Tie-wig of my Father's, which entirely en⯑clos'd my Head and Body, with the Knots of the Ties thumping my little Heels as I march'd along, with ſlow and ſolemn Pace. The Covert of Hair in which I was con⯑ceal'd, with the Weight of a monſtrous Belt and large Silver-hilted Sword, that I could ſcarce drag along, was a vaſt Impediment in my Proceſſion: And, what ſtill added to the other Inconveniencies I labour'd under, was whelming myſelf under one of my Father's large Beaver-hats, laden with Lace, as thick and broad as a Brickbat.

[19] Being thus accoutred, I began to conſider that 'twould be impoſſible for me to paſs for Mr. Cibber in Girl's Shoes, therefore took an Opportunity to ſlip out of Doors after the Gardener, who went to his Work, and roll'd myſelf into a dry Ditch, which was as deep as I was high; and, in this Groteſque Pigmy-State, walk'd up and down the Ditch bowing to all who came by me. But, behold, the Oddity of my Appearance ſoon aſſembled a Croud about me; which yielded me no ſmall Joy, as I conceiv'd their Riſibility on this Occaſion to be Marks of Approbation, and walk'd myſelf into a Fever, in the happy Thought of being taken for the 'Squire.

When the Family aroſe, 'till which Time I had employ'd myſelf in this regular March in my Ditch, I was the firſt Thing enquir'd after, and miſs'd; 'till Mrs. Heron, the Mother of the late celebrated Actreſs of that Name, happily eſpied me, and directly call'd forth the whole Family to be Witneſs of my State and Dignity.

The Drollery of my Figure render'd it im⯑poſſible, aſſiſted by the Fondneſs of both Father and Mother, to be angry with me; but, alas! I was borne off on the Footman's [20] Shoulders, to my Shame and Diſgrace, and forc'd into my proper Habiliments.

The Summer following our Family reſided at Hampton-Town, near the Court. My Mother being indiſpos'd, at her firſt coming there, drank every Morning and Night Aſſes Milk. I obſerved one of thoſe little health-reſtoring Animals was attended by its Fole, which was about the Height of a ſizeable Grey⯑hound.

I immediately form'd a Reſolution of fol⯑lowing the Faſhion of taking the Air early next Morning, and fix'd upon this young Aſs for a Pad-nag; and, in order to bring this Matter to bear, I communicated my Deſign to a ſmall Troop of young Gentlemen and Ladies, whoſe low Births and adverſe States render'd it entirely convenient for them to come into any Scheme, Miſs Charlotte Cibber could poſſibly propoſe. Accordingly my Mother's Bridle and Saddle were ſecretly pro⯑cur'd, but the riper Judgments of ſome of my Followers ſoon convinc'd me of the un⯑neceſſary Trouble of carrying the Saddle, as the little deſtin'd Beaſt was too ſmall, and in⯑deed too weak, to bear the Burden; upon which 'twas concluded to take the Bridle only, and away went Miſs and her Attendants, [21] who ſoon arrived at the happy Field where the poor harmleſs Creature was ſucking. We ſoon ſeiz'd, and endeavour'd to bridle it; but, I remember, 'twas impoſſible to bring that Point to bear, the Head of the Fole being ſo very ſmall, the Trappings fell off as faſt as they ſtrove to put them on. One of the ſmall Crew, who was wiſer than the reſt, propos'd their Garters being converted to that Uſe; which was ſoon effected, and I rode triumphantly into Town aſtride, with a numerous Retinue, whoſe Huzzas were drown'd by the dreadful Braying of the tender Dam, who purſued with agonizing Sounds of Sorrow, for her oppreſs'd young one.

Upon making this Grand-Entry into, the Town, I remember my Father, from the violent Acclamations of Joy on ſo glorious an Occaſion, was excited to enquire into the Meaning, of what he perhaps imagin'd to be an Inſurrection; when, to his Amazement, he beheld his Daughter mounted as before deſcribed, preceded by a Lad, who ſcrap'd upon a Twelve-penny Fiddle of my own, to add to the Dignity and Grandeur of this ex⯑traordinary Enterprize.

I perfectly remember, young as I was then, the ſtrong Mixture of Surprize, Pleaſure, Pain [22] and Shame in his Countenance, on his view⯑ing me ſeated on my infantical Roſinante; which, tho' I had not then Senſe enough to diſtinguiſh, my Memory has ſince afforded me the Power to deſcribe, and alſo to repeat his very Words, at his looking out of Window, Gad demme! An Aſs upon an Aſs!

But, alas! how momentary are ſometimes the Tranſports of the moſt Happy? My Mother was not quite ſo paſſive in this Ad⯑venture, as in that before related; but rather was, as I thought, too active: For I was no ſooner diſmounted then I underwent the Diſcipline of Birch, was moſt ſhamefully taken Priſoner, in the Sight of my Attendants, and with a ſmall Packthread my Leg was made the ſad Companion with that of a large Table.

'Tis not to be conceived, the violent Indig⯑nation and Contempt my Diſgraiſe rais'd in my Infant-Breaſt; nor did I forgive my Mother, in my Heart, for ſix Months after, tho' I was oblig'd to ask Pardon in a few Moments of her, who, at that Time, I conceiv'd to be moſt in Fault.

[23] Were I to inſert one quarter Part of the ſtrange, mad Pranks I play'd, even in Infancy, I might venture to affirm, I could ſwell my Account of 'em to a Folio, and perhaps my whimſical Head may compile ſuch a Work; but I own I ſhould be loth, upon Reflection, to publiſh it, leſt the Contagion ſhould ſpread itſelf, and make other young Folks as ridicu⯑lous and miſchievous as myſelf. Tho' I can't charge my Memory with ſuffering other People to feel the ill Effects of my unaccountable Vagaries; except once, I remember, a croſs, old Woman at Richmond having beat me, I revenged myſelf, by getting ſome of my Play-fellows to take as many as they could of her Caps, and other ſmall Linnen that hung in the Garden to dry, and who fent 'em ſailing down a Brook that forc'd its Current to the Thames, whilſt I walk'd into the Parlour, ſecretly pleas'd with the Thoughts of my Revenge.

This is the only Piece of Malice that occurs to my Remembrance; but I have too much Reaſon to know, that the Madneſs of my Follies have generally very ſeverely recoil'd upon myſelf, but in nothing ſo much as in the ſhocking and heart-wounding Grief for my Father's Diſpleaſure, which I ſhall not [24] impudently dare deny having juſtly incurr'd: But I dare confidently affirm, MUCH PAINS has been taken to AGGRAVATE MY FAULTS, and STRENGTHEN his Anger; and, in that Caſe, I am certain my Enemies have not al⯑ways too ſtrictly adher'd to TRUTH, but MEANLY had recourſe to FALSHOOD to per⯑petrate the Ruin of a hapleſs Wretch, whoſe real Errors were ſufficient, without the Addition of MALICIOUS SLANDERS. The Perſons I mean, who did me theſe unfriendly Offices, are ſtill in Being: But, Qui Capit ille Facit.

I formerly wrote to my Father, as I thought it an incumbent Duty to enquire after his Health, and, at the ſame Time, implore his Pardon; but could never have the Happineſs of even a diſtant Hope of obtaining it. For the fore-mention'd Reaſons I flatter myſelf, as Reflection and Contrition have brought me to a juſt Senſe of all paſt Failings, HU⯑MANITY will plead her Right in his RELENTING HEART, and once again re⯑ſtore me to a Joy which none can conceive, who never felt the Pain ariſing from the Diſgrace of being deem'd an Alien from the Family, in which they originally drew Breath.

[25] My Obligations to him in my bringing up are of ſo extenſive a Nature, I can never ſuf⯑ficiently acknowledge 'em; for, notwithſtanding 'tis every Parent's Duty to breed their Children with every Advantage their Fortunes will ad⯑mit of, yet, in this Caſe, I muſt confeſs my⯑ſelf moſt tranſcendantly indebted, having re⯑ceived even a Superfluity of tender Regard of that Kind; and, at the ſame Time, beg Pardon for not having put it to a more grateful and generous Uſe, both for HIS HONOUR and MY OWN CREDIT.

However, I ſhall lay it down as a Maxim for the remaining Part of Life, to make the utmoſt Amends by PRUDENT CONDUCT, for the MISCARRIAGES OF THE FORMER; ſo that, ſhould I fail in my Hopes, I may not draw any further Imputation on myſelf, by not endeavouring to deſerve, what I think ſo particularly my Duty, if poſſible, to archieve.

I ſhall now proceed in my Account. At eight Years of Age I was placed at a famous School in Park-Street, Weſtminſter, governed by one Mrs. Draper, a Woman of great Senſe and Abilities, who employed a Gentleman, call'd Monſieur Flahaut, an excellent Maſter of [26] Languages, to inſtruct her Boarders. Among the Number of his Pupils, I had the Happi⯑neſs of being one; and, as he diſcovered in me a tolerable Genius, and an earneſt Deſire of Improvement, he adviſed my Mother, in a Viſit to me at School, to let him teach me Latin and Italian, which ſhe, proud of hearing me capable of receiving, readily con⯑ſented to.

Nor was my Tutor ſatisfied with thoſe Branches of Learning alone, for he got Leave of my Parents to inſtruct me in Geography; which, by the Bye, tho' I know it to be a moſt uſeful and pleaſing Science, I cannot think it was altogether neceſſary for a Female: But I was delighted at being thought a learned Perſon, therefore readily acquieſced with my Preceptor's Propoſal.

Accordingly I was furniſh'd with proper Books, and two Globes, caeleſtial and terreſ⯑trial, borrow'd of my Mother's own Brother, the late John Shore, Eſq Serjeant-Trumpet of England; and pored over 'em, 'till I had like to have been as mad as my Uncle, who has given a moſt demonſtrative Proof of his being ſo for many Years, which I ſhall here⯑after mention.

[27] The vaſt Application to my Study almoſt diſtracted me, from a violent Deſire I had to make myſelf perfect Miſtreſs of it. Mr. Flahaut, perceiving that I was too cloſe in the Purſuit of Knowledge not abſolutely needful, ſhorten'd the various Tasks I had daily ſet me; thinking that one mad Mortal in a Family was rather too much, without farther Addition.

After I had received, in two Years ſchool⯑ing, a conſiderable Share of my Education (in which Muſick and Singing bore their Parts) I was, thro' my indulgent Parents Fondneſs, allow'd Maſters at Home to finiſh my Studies.

Mr. Flahaut, my Maſter of Languages, was continued. Mr. Young, late Organiſt of St. Clement's Danes, inſtructed me in Muſick; tho' I was originally taught by the famous Dr. King, who was ſo old, when I learnt of him, he was ſcarce able to give the moſt trifling Inſtructions. The celebrated Mr. Groſconet was my Dancing-Maſter; and, to do Juſtice to his Memory, I have never met with any that exceeded him in the eaſy ſub⯑lime Taſte in Dancing, which is the moſt reaſonable Entertainment can be afforded to the Spectators, who wiſh only to be delighted [28] with the genteel Movement of a Singular, or Plurality of Figures, with becoming Graceful⯑reſs; in which no Performer ever ſo eminently diſtinguiſhed themſelves as Mrs. Booth, Widow of the late incomparable and deſervedly-eſteemed Barton Booth, Eſq one of the Patentees of Drury-Lane Theatre, conjunctive with my Father and Mr. Wilks.

The preſent Taſte in Dancing is ſo oppoſite to the former, that I conceive the high-flown Caprioles, which diſtinguiſh the firſt Per⯑formers, to be the Reſult of violent Strength, and unaccountable Flights of Spirits, that ra⯑ther convey an Idea of ſo many Horſes a la Merâge, than any Deſign form'd to pleaſe an Audience with the more modeſt and graceful Deportment, with which Mrs. Booth attracted and charmed the Hearts of every Gazer.

When 'twas judged that I had made a ne⯑ceſſary Progreſſion in my Learning and other Accompliſhments, I went to Hillingdon, within one Mile of Uxbridge; where my Mother, who was aff [...]icted with the Aſthma, choſe to retire for the Preſervation of her Health.

This was an agreeable Retreat my Father had taken a Leaſe of for ſome Years, but a Winter Reſidence in the Country was not al⯑together [29] ſo pleaſing to me as that of the Sum⯑mer; I therefore began to ſrame different Schemes, for rendering my Solitude as agree⯑able to myſelf as poſſible. The firſt Project I had, was in the froſty Mornings to ſet out upon the Common, and divert myſelf with Shooting; and grew ſo great a Proficient in that notable Exerciſe, that I was like the Per⯑ſon deſcribed in The Recruiting Officer, ca⯑pable of deſtroying all the Veniſon and Wild Fowl about the Country.

In this Manner I employed ſeveral Days from Morn to Eve, and ſeldom failed of coming Home laden with feather'd Spoil; which raiſed my Conceit to ſuch a Pitch, I really imagined myſelf equal to the beſt Fowler or Markſman in the Univerſe.

At length, unfortunately for me, one of my Mother's ſtrait-lac'd, old-faſhion'd Neigh⯑bours paying her a Viſit, perſwaded her to put a Stop to this Proceeding, as ſhe really thought it inconſiſtent with the Character of a young Gentlewoman to follow ſuch Diverſions; which my Youth, had I been a Male, ſhe thought would ſcarce render me excuſable for, being but Fourteen. Upon this ſober Lady's Hint, I was deprived of my Gun; and, with a half-broken Heart on the Occaſion, reſolved [30] to revenge myſelf, by getting a Muſcatoon that hung over the Kitchen Mantlepiece, and uſe my utmoſt Fndeavours towards ſhooting down her Chimnies. After having waſted a conſiderable Quantity of Powder and Shot to no Purpoſe, I was obliged to deſiſt, and give up what I had, though wiſhfully, vainly attempted.

I remember upon my having a Fit of Ill [...]eſs, my Mother, who was apprehenſive of my Death, and conſequently, thro' exceſſive Fondneſs, us'd all Means to prevent it that lay within her Power, ſent me to Thorly, in Hertfordſhire, the Seat of Dr. Hales, an eminent Phyſician and Relation, with a Deſign not only to reſtore and eſtabliſh my Health, but with the Hopes of my being made a good Houſwife; in which needful Accompliſhment, I have before hinted, my Mind was entirely uncultivated. But, alas! ſhe ENDED where, poor dear Soul, ſhe ought to have BEGAN; for by that Time, from her Deſire of making me too wife, I had imbibed ſuch miſtaken, pedantick Notions of a Superiority of Schollar⯑ſhip and Senſe, that my utmoſt Wiſdom cen⯑tered in proclaiming myſelf a Fool! by a ſtupid Contempt of ſuch Qualifications as would have rendered me leſs troubleſome in a Family, and more uſeful to myſelf, and thoſe about me.

[31] Learning is undoubtedly a glorious and happy Acquiſition, when it is encountered by a Genius capable of receiving and retaining the powerful Efficacy of its Worth; yet, not⯑withſtanding this Aſſertion, I am certain that its greateſt Advantages are to be infinitely im⯑proved by launching into the World, and be⯑coming acquainted with the different Places and Objects we go thro' and meet in travelling.

The Obſervations to be made, by that Means, refine the Underſtanding and improve the Judgment, as ſomething is to be gathered from the various Diſpoſitions of People in the higheſt and loweſt Stations of Life; which Perſons of Reflection may render greatly con⯑ducive, in clearing and purging themſelves of thoſe Dregs of Learning which too often, for Want of this Method of purifying the Mind, reduces many a fine Genius to four Pedantry and ill Humour, that makes them uneaſy to themſelves, and obnoxious to all who converſe with 'em.

Even in my ſlender▪ Capacity, I have ſound this Remark to be juſt; for, notwithſtanding my Vanity might have excited me to a fond Belief of my being wonderful wiſe, in nine Years Peregrination I began to find out, 'till I [32] had ſeen ſomething of the World, I was but rough in the Mine. Obſervation had a little poliſhed me, and I was ſoon convinced the additional Helps I received from Travel, al⯑moſt rendered my former Knowledge nothing: So that I cannot but join in Polydore's Opi⯑nion;

Though I muſt acknowledge, it is an equal Error for Youth to ſet out too ſoon to ſee the World, before they are capable of digeſting what they hear or ſee, and too frequently come back with the ſame light Load of Underſtand⯑ing with which they ſet out; I therefore think it proper, inſtead of ſaying ſuch a one is lately returned from his Travels (who is ſo unad⯑viſedly ſent forth) rather to have it ſaid, He is lately returned from his DELIGHTFUL JAUNTS, AND PARTIES OF PLEASURE.

In the ſecond Chapter of Mr. DUMONT's Hiſtory I have expatiated on this Error, and refer my Readers thereto; who, I believe, will not think my Argument offenſive or un⯑reaſonable.

[33] While I ſtaid at Thorly, though I had the niceſt Examples of houſwifely Perfections daily before me, I had no Notion of entertaining the leaſt Thought of thoſe neceſſary Offices, by which the young Ladies of the Family ſo eminently diſtinguiſhed themſelves, in orna⯑menting a well-diſpos'd, elegant Table, de⯑cently graced with the Toil of their Morn⯑ing's Induſtry; nor could I bear to paſs a Train of melancholly Hours in poring over a Piece of Embroidery, or a well-wrought Chair, in which the young Females of the Fa⯑mily (excluſive of my mad-cap Self) were equally and induſtriouſly employed; and have often, with inward Contempt of 'em, pitied their Misfortunes, who were, I was well aſ⯑ſured, incapable of currying a Horſe, or rid⯑ing a Race with me.

Many and vain Attempts were uſed, to bring me into their Working-Community; but I had ſo great a Veneration for Cattle and Hus⯑bandry, 'twas impoſſible for 'em, either by Threats or tender Advice, to bring me into their SOBER SCHEME.

If any Thing was amiſs in the Stable, I was ſure to be the Firſt and Head of the Mob; but if all the Fine-Works in the Family had [34] been in the Fire, I ſhould not have forſook the Curry-comb, to have endeavoured to ſave 'em from the utmoſt Deſtruction.

During my Reſidence in the Family, I grew paſſionately fond of the Study of Phy⯑ſick; and was never ſo truly happy, as when the Doctor employed me in ſome little Offices in which he durſt intruſt me, without Preju⯑dice to his Patients.

As I was indulged in having a little Horſe of my own, I was frequently deſired to call upon one or other of the neighbouring In⯑valids, to enquire how they did; which gave me a moſt pleaſing Opportunity of fancying myſelf a Phyſician, and affected the Solemnity and Gravity which I had often obſerved in the good Doctor: Nor am I abſolutely aſſured, from the ſignificant Air which I aſſumed, whether ſome of the weaker Sort of People might not have been perſuaded into as high an Opinion of my Skill as my Couſin's, whoſe Talents chiefly were adapted to the Study of Phyſick. To do him Juſtice, he was a very able Proficient; and, I dare ſay, the Loſs of him in Hertfordſhire, and ſome Part of Eſſex, is not a little regretted, as he was neceſſary to the Rich, and tenderly beneficent to the Poor.

[35] At the Expiration of two Years his Lady died, and I was remanded Home, and once again ſent to our Country-Houſe at Hilling⯑don; where I was no ſooner arrived, than I perſuaded my fond Mother to let me have a little Cloſet, built in an Apartment ſeldom uſed, by Way of Diſpenſatory. This I eaſily obtained, and ſummoned all the old Women in the Pariſh to repair to me, whenever they found themſelves indiſpoſed. I was indeed of the Opinion of Leander in The Mock Doctor, that a few phyſical hard Words would be neceſſary to eſtabliſh my Reputation; and accordingly had recourſe to a Latin Dic⯑tionary, and ſoon gathered up as many Frag⯑ments as ſerved to confound their Senſes, and bring 'em into a high Opinion of my Skill in the medicinal Science.

As my Advice and Remedies for all Diſ⯑orders were deſigned as Acts of Charity, 'tis not to be imagined what a Concourſe of both Sexes were my conſtant Attendants; though I own, I have been often obliged to refer myſelf to Salmon, Culpepper, and other Books I had for that Purpoſe, before I was able to make a proper Application, or indeed arrive at any Knowledge of their Maladies. But this Defect was not diſcovered by my Patients, [36] as I put on a Significancy of Countenance that rather ſerved to convince them of my incom⯑parable Skill and Abilities.

Fond as I was of this learned Office, I did not chuſe to give up that of being Lady of the Horſe, which delicate Employment took up ſome Part of my Time every Day; and I gene⯑rally ſerved myſelf in that Capacity, when I thought proper to pay my Attendance on the believing Mortals, who entruſted their Lives in my Hands. But Providence was extreamly kind in that Point; for though, perhaps, I did no actual Good, I never had the leaſt Misfortune happen to any of the unthinking, credulous Souls who relied on me for the Re⯑ſtoration of their Healths, which was ten to one I had endangered as long as they lived.

When I had ſignified my Intention of be⯑coming a young Lady Bountiful, I thought it highly neceſſary to furniſh myſelf with Drugs, &c. to carry on this notable Deſign▪ accordingly I went to Uxbridge, where was then living an Apothecary's Widow, whoſe Shop was an Emblem of that deſcribed in Ro⯑meo and Juliet. She, good Woman, know⯑ing my Family, entruſted me with a Cargo o [...] Combuſtibles, which were ſufficient to have ſet up a Mountebank for a Twelvemonth; bu [...] [37] my Stock was ſoon exhauſted, for the ſilly Devils began to fancy themſelves ill, becauſe they knew they could have Phyſick for no⯑thing, ſuch as it was. But, Oh! woeful Day! the Widow ſent in her Bill to my Fa⯑ther, who was intirely ignorant of the curious Expence I had put him to; which he directly paid, with a ſtrict Order never to let Doctor Charlotte have any farther Credit, on Pain of loſing the Money ſo by me contracted.

Was not this ſufficient to murder the Fame of the ableſt Phyſician in the Univerſe? However, I was reſolved not to give up my Profeſſion; and, as I was deprived of the Uſe of Drugs, I took it into my Head, to conceal my Diſgrace, to have recourſe to Herbs: But one Day a poor old Woman coming to me, with a violent Complaint of rheumatick Pains and a terrible Diſorder in her Stomach, I was at a dreadful Loſs what Remedies to apply, and diſmiſſed her with an Aſſurance of ſending her ſomething to eaſe her, by an inward and outward Application, before ſhe went to Bed.

It happened that Day proved very rainy, which put it into my ſtrange Pate to gather up all the Snails in the Garden; of which, from the heavy Shower that had fallen, there was a ſuperabundant Quantity. I immediately [38] fell to work; and, of ſome Part of 'em, with coarſe brown Sugar, made a Syrup, to be taken a Spoonful once in two Hours. Boiling the reſt to a Conſiſtence, with ſome green Herbs and Mutton Fat, I made an Ointment; and, clapping conceited Labels upon the Phial and Gallipot, ſent my Preparation, with a joyous Bottle of Hartſhorn and Sal Volatile I purloined from my Mother, to add a Grace to my Preſcriptions.

In about three Days Time the good Woman came hopping along, to return me Thanks for the extream Benefit ſhe had received; intreat⯑ing my Goodneſs to repeat the Medicines, as ſhe had found ſuch wonderful Effects from their Virtues.

But Fortune was not quite kind enough to afford me the Means of granting her Requeſt at that Time; for the friendly Rain, which had enabled me to work this wonderful Cure, was ſucceeded by an extream Drought, and I thought it highly neceſſary to ſuſpend any fur⯑ther Attempts to eſtabliſh my great Reputa⯑tion, 'till another watry Opportunity offered to furniſh me with thoſe Ingredients, whoſe ſanative Qualities had been ſo uſeful to her Limbs and my Fame: I therefore diſmiſſed her with a Word of Advice, not to tamper too [39] much; that as ſhe was ſo well recovered, to wait 'till a Return of her Pains; otherwiſe a too frequent Uſe of the Remedy might poſſi⯑bly loſe its Effect, by being applied without any abſolute Neceſſity. With as ſignificant an Air as I could aſſume, I bid her beſure to keep herſelf warm, and DRINK NO MALT LIQUOR; and, that if ſhe found any Altera⯑tion, to ſend to me.

Glad was I when the poor Creature was gone, as her harmleſs Credulity had rais'd ſuch an invincible Fit of Laughter in me, I muſt have died on the Spot by the Suppreſ⯑ſion, had ſhe ſtaid a few Minutes longer.

This Relation is an Inſtance of what I have often conceived to be the happy Motive for that Succeſs, which Travelling-Phyſicians fre⯑quently meet with; as it is rather founded on the Faith of the Patient, than any real Merit in the Doctor or his Preſcriptions. But the Hap⯑pineſs I enjoyed, and ſtill continue to do, in the pleaſing Reflection of not having, through Inexperience, done any Harm by my Applica⯑tions, I thank the Great Creator for, who (notwithſtanding my extream Deſire of being diſtinguiſhed as àn able Proficient) knew my Deſign was equally founded on a charitable In⯑clination; which, I conceive, was a ſtrong [40] Guard againſt any Evils that might have ac⯑crued, from merely a wild Notion of pleaſing myſelf.

My being unfortunately deprived of the Aſſiſtance of the Widow's Shop to carry on this grand Affair, made me ſoon tire in the Purſuit, and put me upon ſome other Expe⯑dient for my Amuſement; I therefore framed the tendereſt Excuſes I could poſſibly invent to drop my Practice, that thoſe who had before thought themſelves indiſpenſibly obliged to me, might not conceive I had loſt that cha⯑ritable Diſpoſition which they had ſo often bleſſed me for; and which, indeed, I heartily regretted the not having Power ſtill to preſerve and maintain.

My next Flight was Gardening, a very pleaſing and healthful Exerciſe, in which I paſt the moſt Part of my Time every Day. I thought it always proper to imitate the Actions of thoſe Perſons, whoſe Characters I choſe to repreſent; and, indeed, was as changeable as Proteus.

When I had blended the Groom and Gar⯑dener, I conceived, after having worked two or three Hours in the Morning, a broiled Raſher of Bacon upon a Luncheon of Bread in [41] one Hand, and a Pruning-Knife in the other, (walking, inſtead of ſitting to this elegant Meal) making Seeds and Plants the general Subject of my Diſcourſe, was the true Cha⯑racteriſtick of the Gardener; as, at other Times, a Halter and Horſe-cloth brought into the Houſe, and aukwardly thrown down on a Chair, were Emblems of my Stable-profeſſion; with now and then a Shrug of the Shoulders and a Scratch of the Head, with a haſty De⯑mand for Small-Beer, and a—God bleſs you make Haſte, I have not a ſingle Horſe dreſſed or watered, and here 'tis almoſt Eight o'Clock, the poor Cattle will think I've forgot 'em; and Tomorrow they go a Journey, I'm ſure I'd need take Care of 'em. Perhaps this great Journey was an Afternoon's Jaunt to Windſor, within ſeven Miles of our Houſe; however, it ſerved me to give myſelf as many Airs, as if it had been a Progreſs of five hun⯑dred Miles.

It luckily happened for me that my Father was gone to France, and the Servant who was in the Capacity of Groom and Gardener, having the Misfortune one Afternoon to be violently inebriated, took it in his Head to abuſe the reſt of his Fellow-Servants; which my Mother hearing, interfered, and ſhared equally the Inſolence of his opprobrious [42] Tongue: Upon which, at a Minute's Warn⯑ing, he was diſmiſſed, to the inexpreſſible Tranſport, my gentle Reader, of your humble Servant, having then the full Poſſeſſion of the Garden and Stables.

But what Imagination can paint the Extra⯑vagance of Joy I felt on this happy Acquiſi⯑tion! I was ſo bewildered with the pleaſing Ideas I had framed, in being actually a proper Succeſſor to the depoſed Fellow, I was entire⯑ly loſt in a Forgetfulneſs of my real Self; and went each Day with that orderly Care to my ſeparate Employments, that is generally the recommendatory Virtue for the FIRST MONTH ONLY of a new-hired Servant.

The Rumour of the Man's Diſmiſſion was ſoon ſpread, and reached, to my great Uneaſi⯑neſs, to Uxbridge, and every little adjacent Village; upon which I ſoon found it neceſſary to change my Poſt of Gardener, and became, for very near a Week, Porter at the Gate, leſt ſome lucky Mortal might have been intro⯑duced, and deprived me of the happy Situation I enjoyed.

I began to be tired with giving Denials, and, in order to put an End to their fruitleſs Expectations, gave out that we had received, [43] Letters from France, to aſſure us, that my Papa had poſitively hired a Man at Peris to ſerve in that Office, and therefore all fu⯑ture Attempts would be needleſs on that Ac⯑count.

I kept ſo ſtrict a Watch at the Gate, during the Apprehenſions I had of being turned out of my Places, the Maids wondered what made me ſo conſtantly traverſing the Court-Yard, for near eight Days ſucceſſively: But,

'Twas really to fecure my Seat of Empire; which, at that Time, I would not have ex⯑changed for a Monarchy; and I conceived ſo high an Opinion of myſelf, I thought the Fa⯑mily greatly indebted to me for my Skill and Induſtry.

One Day, upon my Mother's paying me a Viſit in the Garden, and approving ſomething I had done there, I reſted on my Spade, and, with a ſignificant Wink and a Nod, ask'd, Whether ſhe imagined any of the reſt of her Children would have done as much at my Age? adding, very ſhrewdly, Come, come, Madam; let me tell you, a 'Pound ſaved is a Pound got: Then proceeded in my Office [44] of Digging, in which I was at that Time moſt happily employed, and with double La⯑bour purſued, to make the ſtrongeſt Impreſ⯑ſion I could on my admiring Mother's Mind, and convince her of the Utility of ſo induſtrious a Child.

I muſt not forget to inform the Reader, that my Mother had no extraordinary Opinion of the Fellow's Honeſty whom ſhe had turned away; and, what confirmed it, was tracing his Footſteps under the Chamber-Windows the Night after his Diſmiſſion, and the Neigh⯑bours had obſerved him to have been hover⯑ing round the Houſe ſeveral Hours that very Evening.

As we had a conſiderable Quantity of Plate, my Mother was a good deal alarmed with an Apprehenſion of the Man's attempting to break in at Midnight; which might render us not only liable to be robbed, but murdered. She communicated her Fears to me, who moſt he⯑roically promiſed to protect her Life, at the utmoſt Hazard of my own. Accordingly I deſired all the Plate might be gathered up, and had it placed in a large Flasket by my Bedſide. This was no ſmall Addition to my Happineſs, as it gave me an Opportunity of raiſing my Reputation as a couragious Perſon, [45] which I was extream fond of being deemed; and, in Order to eſtabliſh that Character, I ſtripp'd the Hall and Kitchen of their Fire-Arms, which conſiſted of my own little Carbine (I had, through the old Maid's Perſwaſion, been barbarouſly diveſted of not long before) a heavy Blunderbuſs, a Muſcatoon, and two Brace of Piſtols, all which I loaded with a Couple of Bullets each before I went to Bed; not with any Deſign, on my Word, to yield to my Repoſe, but abſolutely kept awake three long and tedious Hours, which was from Twelve to Three, the Time I thought moſt likely for an Invaſion.

But no ſuch Thing happened, for not a Mortal approached, on which I thought myſelf undone; 'till a friendly Dog, who barked at the Moon, gave a happy Signal, and I bounc'd from my Repoſitory with infinite Obligations to the Cur, and fir'd out of the Window Piece after Piece, re-charging as faſt as poſſible, 'till I had conſumed about a Pound of Powder, and a proportionable Quantity of Shot and Balls.

'Tis not to be ſuppoſed but the Family was, on my firſt Onſet in this ſingular Battle (having nothing to combat but the Air) ſoon alarm'd. The frequent Reports and violent [46] Exploſions encouraged my kind Prompter to this Farce, to change his lucky Bark into an abſolute Howl, which ſtrongly cor⯑roborated with all that had been thought or ſaid, in Regard to an Attempt upon the Houſe. My trembling Mother, who lay Half expiring with dreadful Imaginations, rang her Bell; which Summons I inſtantly obey'd, firmly aſſuring her, that all Danger was over, for that I heard the Villain decamp on the firſt Firing; which Decampment was neither more nor leſs than the Ruſtling of the Trees, occaſioned by a windy Night, for the Fellow was abſolutely gone to London the very Morning I declared War againſt him, as was afterwards proved.

Notwithſtanding I was fully convinced I had nothing to conquer, but my unconquer⯑able Fondneſs and Reſolution to acquire the Character of a couragious Perſon, I ſettled that Point with the whole Family, in begging 'em not to be under the leaſt Apprehenſion of Danger; urging, that my conſtant firing would be the Means of preventing any: And bid 'em conſider, that the Loſs of Sleep, was not to be put in Competition with the Hazard of their Lives.

[47] This Reflection made them perfectly eaſy, and me entirely happy; as I had an unlimitted Power, without Interruption, once in ten Minutes to waſte my Ammunition to no Purpoſe: And retiring to my Reſt, as ſoon as my Stock was exhauſted, enjoy'd in Dreams a ſecond Idea of my glorious Ex⯑ploits.

'Tis certain, nothing but my Mother's ex⯑ceſſive Fondneſs could have blinded her Reaſon, to give in to my unprefidented, ridiculous Follies; as ſhe was, in all other Points, a Woman of real good Senſe: But where the Heart is PARTIALLY ENGAGED, we have frequent Inſtances of its clouding the Underſtanding, and MAKING DUPES O [...] THE WISEST.

I ſhall add one unfortunate Circumſtance more, and then proceed to give an Account of my Marriage with Mr. Richard Charke; whoſe Memory will, by all Lovers of Muſick who have heard his incomparable Performance on the Violin, be held in great Eſtimation. But to my Story—I had received In⯑formation, that there was a very fine young Horſe to be diſpoſed of at Uxbridge, qualified to draw a Chaiſe; and, having heard my [48] Father ſay, before he went to France, he would purchaſe another when he came Home, I flew with diſtracted Joy to the Man's Houſe, where this Horſe was to be ſeen; and accordingly had him harneſſed, and put to. This Excurſion was entirely unknown to my Mother; who, at that Time, lay ex⯑treamly ill of the Aſthma.

The Owner of the Horſe, knowing my Family, and ſeeing me often drive my Father's Horſes, made no Doubt but that I was ſent in Fact to make Tryal of his; and, being willing to make his Market as quick as poſſible, got the Horſe and Chaiſe ready in a few Minutes, and out I ſet, at the extream Hazard of my Neck, when I got upon Ux⯑bridge Common: For the Creature was very young and ungovernable, and dragg'd me and the Chaiſe over Hills and Dales, with ſuch Vehemence, I deſpaired of ever ſeeing Hillingdon again. However, the ſubtle Devil, knowing his Way Home, ſet up a barbarous full Gallop, and made to his Maſter's Houſe with dreadful Expedition, beyond my Power to reſtrain; and, in the Cart-rut, ran over a Child of three Years of Age, that lay ſprawl⯑ing there for its unfortunate Amuſement.

[49] The violent Rapidity of his Courſe luckily prevented the Death of the Child, but was very near effecting mine; for Grief and Sur⯑prize took ſuch hold of my Spirits, I became ſpeechleſs. The Child was ſoon brought after me by the Parents, attended by a nu⯑merous Mob; and, as ſoon as I regained my Speech, I order'd the Infant to be ex⯑amined by a Surgeon: But no Harm being done, more than a ſmall Graze on the Neck, the Affair was made up with a Shilling and a Shoulder of Mutton.

Notwithſtanding this happy Acquittance from ſo terrible a Diſaſter (as ignorant People are naturally fond of ſtriking Terror) ſome doubly-induſtrious Courier, who had more Expedition than Brains, ran with the News to my Mother of my having kill'd a Child, which threw her into ſuch agonizing Frights, as greatly hazarded her Life; and, for ſome Time, was an Aggravation to the Illneſs ſhe laboured under: For though I came Home as ſoon as poſſible, and convinced her of the Error of the ſtupified Wretch that had ſo cruelly alarmed her, the Surprize and Shock ſo ſtrongly poſſeſſed her, 'twas with Difficulty ſhe retained her Senſes.

[50] This Misfortune threw me into a Kind of Melancholly, that ſubſiſted as long as could be expected from one of my Youth and volatile Spirits; and, to the extream Surprize of the Neighbourhood, Miſs Charlotte became for a little while, I believe, rather ſtupidly dull, than juſtly reflecting: For I don't remember any Impreſſion left on my Mind by this Accident after my Mother's Recovery, and the Aſſurance I had of the Boy's being living and well. However, it put a Period to the Fertility of my miſ⯑chievous Genius; and, upon being ſoon after acquainted with Mr. Charke, who was pleaſed to ſay ſoft Things, and flatter me into a Belief of his being an humble Admirer, I, as fooliſh young Girls are apt to be too credulous, believed his Paſſion the Reſult of real Love, which indeed was only Intereſt. His Affairs being in a very deſperate Con⯑dition, he thought it no bad Scheme to endeavour at being Mr. Cibber's Son-in-Law, who was at that Time a Patentee in Drury-Lane Theatre, and I in the happy Poſſeſſion of my Father's Heart; which, had I known the real Value of, I ſhould never have beſtowed a Moment's Thought in the obtaining Mr. Charke's, but preſerving my Father's.

[51] Alas! I thought it a fine Thing to be married, and indulged myſelf in a paſſionate Fondneſs for my Lover; which my Father perceiving, out of pure Pity, tenderly con⯑ſented to a conjugal Union: And the Reader may ſuppoſe that I thought, at that Time, 'twas the greateſt Favour he ever conferred on me, as indeed I really did; but I have ſome modeſt Reaſons to believe, had he indulged me under the Guardianſhip of ſome ſenſible truſty Perſon to have taken a ſmall Tour into the Country, without letting me know 'twas done with a Deſign to break off my Attach⯑ment to my then intended Husband, it would have prevented the Match, and both Parties, in the Main, might have been better pleaſed; for I am certain that Abſence, and an eaſy Life, would ſoon have got the better of the Violence of my Fondneſs, being then of too indolent a Diſpoſition to let any Thing long diſturb my Mind.

I don't advance this as a Reproach for my Father's Indulgence, but to give the Reader a perfect Idea of the Oddity of my youthful Diſpoſition; for, as Sir Charles Eaſy ſays to his Lady, He is often rude and civil with⯑out Deſign: The ſame Inadvertency had an equal Dominion over me, and I have avoided [52] or committed Errors, without any Premedita⯑tion either to offend or oblige.

But to my Tale—After ſix Months Ac⯑quaintance I was, by Conſent, eſpouſed at St. Martin's Church to Mr. Charke, and thought at that Time the Meaſure of my Happineſs was full, and of an ever-during Na⯑ture: But, alas! I ſoon found myſelf deceived in that fond Conceit; for we were both ſo young and indiſcreet, we ought rather to have been ſent to School than to Church, in Regard to any Qualifications on either Side, towards rendering the Marriage-State comfort⯑able to one another. To be ſure, I thought it gave me an Air of more Conſequence to be call'd Mrs. Charke, than Miſs Charlotte; and my Spouſe, on his Part, I believe, thought it a fine Feather in his Cap, to be Mr. Cibber's Son-in-Law: Which indeed it would have proved, had he been skilful enough to have managed his Cards rightly, as my Father was greatly inclined to be his Friend, and en⯑deavoured to promote his Intereſt extreamly amongſt People of Quality and Faſhion. His Merit, as a Proficient in Muſick, I believe is inconteſtible; and, being tolerably agreeable in his Perſon, both concurr'd to render him the general Admiration of thoſe Sort of Ladies, who, regardleſs of their Reputations, [53] make 'em the unhappy Sacrifices to every pleaſing Object: Which, entre nous, was a moſt horrible Bar in my Eſchutcheon of Content; inſomuch, that married Miſs was, the firſt Twelvemonth of her connubial State, induſtriouſly employed in the Purſuit of freſh Sorrow, by tracing her Spouſe from Morn to Eve through the Hundreds of Drury.

I had, indeed, too often very ſhocking Con⯑firmations of my Suſpicions, which made me at laſt grow quite indifferent; nor can I avoid confeſſing, that Indifference was ſtrongly at⯑tended with Contempt. I was in Hopes that my being bleſt with a Child would, in ſome Degree, have ſurmounted that unconquerable Fondneſs for Variety, but 'twas all one; and, I firmly believe, nothing but the Age of Me⯑thuſelah, could have made the leaſt Altera⯑tion in his Diſpoſition.

This looſe and unkind Behaviour, con⯑ſequently made me extravagant and wild in my Imagination; and, finding that we were in the ſame Circumſtances, in Regard to each other, that Mr. Sullen and his Wife were, we agreed to part. Accordingly I made our Infant my Care, nor did the Father's Neglect render me careleſs of my Child; for I really was ſo fond of it, I thought myſelf more [54] than amply made Amends for his Follies, in the Poſſeſſion of her.

When Mr. Charke thought proper he paid us a Viſit, and I received him with the ſame good Nature and Civility I might an old, decay'd Acquaintance, that I was certain came to ask me a Favour; which was often the Caſe, for I ſeldom had the Honour of his Company but when Caſh run low, and I as conſtantly ſupplied his Wants; and have got from my Father many an auxiliary Guinea, I am certain, to purchaſe myſelf a new Pair of Horns.

When I married 'twas in the Month of February, the Beginning of Benefit-time at both Theatres. Mrs. Thurmond's coming on ſoon, who underſtood that I was deſigned for the Stage the Seaſon following, requeſted that I might make my firſt Appearance on her Night, in the Character of Mademoiſelle, in The Provok'd Wife: And, I particularly re⯑member, the firſt Time of my playing, was the laſt in which that matchleſs Performer, Mrs. Oldfield, ever charm'd the Town with her inimitable Exhibition. She ſicken'd ſoon after, and linger'd 'till October following, when ſhe expired; to the inexpreſſible Loſs of her Acquaintance in general, and all Connoiſſeurs [55] in Acting: Tho', I am apt to think, had ſhe ſurvived that Illneſs, the Stage would not have been leſs liable to have ſuſtained her Loſs, as ſhe had acquir'd a conſiderable Fortune, and was in the Decline of Life; but, in her Buſineſs, ſtill in the utmoſt Height of Per⯑fection.

This excellent Actreſs, from her Encourage⯑ment, gave me lively Hopes of Succeſs; and, being poſſeſſed with a youthful Tranſport, was rendered quite inſenſible of thoſe Fears, which naturally attend People on their firſt Eſſay on the Theatre.

My Father and Mrs. Oldfield's Approba⯑tion, was no trifling Addition to my Self⯑conceit. 'Tis true, I was happy in a Genius for the Stage; but I have, ſince my riper Years, found that the Succeſs I met with was rather owing to indulgent Audiences, that good-naturedly encouraged a young Creature, who, they thought, might one Day come to ſomething, than any real Judgment I had in my Profeſſion; and that I was more indebted to Chance than I was aware on, for the Ap⯑plauſe I received, when I accidently ſtumbled on the Right.

[56] I muſt beg Leave to give the Reader an Idea of that Extacy of Heart I felt, on ſeeing the Character I was to appear in the Bills; though my Joy was ſomewhat daſh'd, when I came to ſee it inſerted, By a young Gentle⯑woman, who had never appear'd on any Stage before. This melancholly Diſappoint⯑ment, drew me into an unavoidable Expence in Coach-hire, to inform all my Acquaintance, that I was the Perſon ſo ſet down in Mrs. Thurmond's Benefit-Bills: Though my Father's prudent Concern intended it to be a Secret, 'till he had Proof of my Abilities.

To my inexpreſſible Joy, I ſucceeded in the Part, and the Play was in about ſix Weeks after re-choſen for the Benefit of Mr. Charke and Miſs Raftor, now Mrs. Clive, who was then a young, but promiſing Actreſs; of which ſhe has given demonſtrative Proofs, in various Lights, therefore ſhall not expatiate on that Subject, leſt the Weakneſs of my Pen ſhould fall ſhort of her Merit.

My Name was in Capitals on this ſecond Attempt; and I dare aver, that the Peruſal of it, from one End of the Town to the other, for the firſt Week, was my moſt immediate and conſtant Buſineſs: Nor do I believe it coſt me [57] leſs, in Shoes and Coaches, then two or three Guineas, to gratify the extravagant Delight I had, not only in reading the Bills, but ſome⯑times hearing myſelf ſpoken of, which luckily was to my Advantage; nor can I anſwer for the ſtrange Effect a contrary Report might have wrought, on a Mind ſo giddily loaded with conceited Tranſport—I'm not quite certain, whether my Folly and Indignation might not have cauſed a Drawn-Battle on ſuch an Occaſion.

It happened that Mrs. Horton, who played Lady Fanciful the Time before, was indiſ⯑poſed, and my Siſter-in-Law, the late Mrs. Jane Cibber, was appointed to do the Part; who, notwithſtanding her having been a few Years on the Stage, and indeed a meritorious Actreſs, had not overcome the Shock of ap⯑pearing the firſt Night in any Character. I, who was aſtoniſhed at her Timidity, like a ſtrange Gawky as I was, told her I was ſur⯑prized at her being frighted, who had ſo often appeared; when I, who had never played but once, had no Concern at all. That's the very Reaſon, ſaid ſhe; when you have ſtood as many Shocks as others have done, and are more acquainted with your Buſineſs, you'll poſſibly be more ſuſceptible of Fear. The Apprehenſions ſhe laboured under, gave her a [58] grave Aſpect, which my inſenſible Head at that Time took as an Affront; and, I remem⯑ber, I turned ſhort on my Heel, as we were waiting for our Cue of Entrance, and broke off our Converſation, nor could I bring my⯑ſelf, but on the Stage, to ſpeak to her the whole Evening.

This ridiculous Circumſtance we have both laughed at ſince, and I found her Words very true; for I'll maintain it, the beſt Players are the moſt capable of Fear, as they are naturally moſt exact in the Nicety of their Performance. Not that I would inſinuate, by this Obſerva⯑tion, that I think myſelf better than in the common Run of thoſe theatrical Gentry, who are lucky enough to be endured through the Courſe of a Play, without being wiſhed to be no more ſeen, after the Firſt Act.

Such melancholly Inſtances I have been Witneſs of, both in Town and Country; WHILST THE POOR PLAYER HAS BAWL⯑ED AND BELLOWED OUT HIS MINUTE ON THE STAGE, AND THE GROANING AUDIENCE HISSINGLY ENTREATED, HE MIGHT BE HEARD NO MORE.

The ſecond Character I appeared in was Alicia, and found the Audience not leſs in⯑dulgent [59] than before. Mrs. Porter's Misfor⯑tune, of being over-turned in her Chaiſe at Highwood-Hill, was the Means by which I was poſſeſſed of that Part. The third was the 'Diſtreſs'd Mother, in the Summer, when the young Company were under my Brother Theo⯑philus Cibber's Direction.

Now I leave to any reaſonable Perſon, what I went through, in undertaking two ſuch Characters, after two of the greateſt Actreſſes in the Theatre, viz. Mrs. Oldfield and Mrs. 'Porter. By this Time I began to FEEL I FEARED; and the Want of it was ſufficiently paid home to me, in the Tremor of Spirits I ſuffered in ſuch daring Attempts: However, Fortune was my Friend, and I eſcaped with Life; for I ſolemnly declare, that I expected to make an odd Figure in the Bills of Morta⯑lity—DIED ONE, OF CAPITAL CHA⯑RACTERS.

Soon after this George Barnwell made his Appearance on the Stage, in which I was the original Lucy; and, beginning to make Act⯑ing my Buſineſs as well as my Pleaſure, the Succeſs I had in that Part raiſed me from Twenty to Thirty Shillings per Week: After which, having the good Fortune to be ſelected from the reſt of the Company as Stock-Reader [60] to the Theatre, in Caſe of Diſaſters, I acquit⯑ted myſelf tolerably to the Satisfaction of the Maſters and Audience.

My firſt Attempt of that Kind was Cleopa⯑tra, for the Benefit of Mr. Worſdale, who was honoured with the Preſence of His Royal Highneſs the late Prince of Wales. Mrs. He⯑ron having that Afternoon the Misfortune to bruiſe her Knee-pan, ſhe was immoveable; and I was, at the ſecond Muſick, ſent for to read the Part.

Had I been under Sentence of Death, and St. Sepulchres dreadful Bell tolling for my laſt Hour, I don't conceive I could have ſuf⯑fered much greater Agony, and thought of my Siſter's Words to ſome Tune; for I abſo⯑lutely had not a Joint or Nerve I could com⯑mand, for the whole Night: And, as an Addition to the Terror I laboured under, Mr. Quin, THAT WORTHY VETERAN OF THE STAGE, played Ventidius. The Ap⯑prehenſion I laboured under in reſpect to the Audience, which was a numerous one, to the Amount of Three Hundred and odd Pounds, was nothing in Compariſon to the Fright his Aſpect threw me into.

[61] But even this Shock I got through, and was ſoon after inducted to a ſecond of the ſame Nature. Mrs. Butler was taken ill, and the Queen in Eſſex was to be filled up: Ac⯑cordingly, I was ſent for to ſupply the Defi⯑ciency; which, in Juſtice to the Memory of the deceas'd Gentlewoman, I muſt inform the Reader ſhe rewarded me for, by ſending me, in a very polite Manner, a Couple of Guineas next Morning. I muſt needs ſay, I did not think it worth ſo handſome an Acknowledge⯑ment; but ſhe ſent in ſuch a Manner that, had I refuſed it, I muſt have been guilty of a very great Abſurdity, as her Station and mine at that Time were upon very different Footings, I being but a Babby in the Buſi⯑neſs, and ſhe an eſtabliſhed Perſon of a very good Salary.

I continued for that Seaſon at the before⯑mentioned Revenue; but, upon Mr. High-more's making a Purchaſe in the Theatre, there immediately happened a Revolt of the greateſt Number of the Company to the New Theatre in the Hay-Market. My Brother being principally concerned, I alſo made a Decampment; and was, by Agreement, raiſed from Thirty Shillings to Three Pounds, had a very good Share of Parts, and continued with [62] them 'till the whole Body returned to Mr. Fletewood, who for ſome Time carried on the Buſineſs with great Induſtry, attended with proportionable Succeſs; though, poor Gen⯑tleman, I fear that ſuper-extraordinary Succeſs was the Foundation of his Ruin.

It happened he and I had a Diſpute about Parts, and our Controverſy aroſe to ſuch a Height, I, without the leaſt Patience or Con⯑ſideration, took a French Leave of him, and was idle enough to conceive I had done a very meritorious Thing. I cannot ſay, in the Af⯑fair, he uſed me entirely well, becauſe he broke his Word with me; but I uſed myſelf much worſe in the Main by leaving him, as I have ſince experienced. As there are too many buſy Medlars in the World, who are ever ready to clinch the Nail of Sedition, when once 'tis ſtruck; ſo ſome particular Peo⯑ple thought it worth while, by villainous Falſhoods, to blow the Spark of Fire be⯑tween Mr. Fletewood and myſelf into a bar⯑barous Blaze, inſomuch that I was provoked to write a Farce on the Occaſion, entitled, The Art of Management; wherein the Rea⯑der may be aſſured I took no ſmall Pains to ſet him in a moſt ridiculous Light, and ſpared not to utter ſome Truths which, I am ſenſible, ought rather to have been concealed: And [63] I cannot but own, I have ſince felt ſome ſecret Compunction on that Score; as he, notwith⯑ſtanding my impertinent and ſtupid Revenge, at my Father's Requeſt, reſtored me to my former Station.

What further aggravates my Folly and In⯑gratitude, I made, even then, but a ſhort Stay with him, and joined the late Henry Field⯑ing, Eſq who, at that Time, was Manager at the Hay-Market Theatre, and running his Play, called, Paſquin, the eleventh Night of which I played the Part of Lord Place; which, 'till then, had been performed by Mr. Richard Yates: But as he had other Parts in that Piece, Mr. Fielding begged the Favour of him to ſpare that to make room for me, and I was accordingly engaged at Four Guineas per Week, with an Indulgence in Point of Charges at my Benefit, by which I cleared Sixty Guineas; and walked with my Purſe in my Hand 'till my Stock was exhauſted, leſt I ſhould forget the Neceſſity I then laboured under, of ſquandering what might have made many a decayed Family truly happy.

As I ſtand Self-convicted for all the Follies I have been guilty of, I hope my Behaviour to Mr. Fletewood will ſix no Imputation, that may not be removed; and the leſs ſo, as I [64] might ſay to him from the Origin of our Quarrel, with Peachum,

My Motive for leaving him the ſecond Time, proceeded from a Cauſe he had no Share in; which, I confeſs, is a farther Ag⯑gravation to my Ingratitude. I can only ac⯑knowledge my Error, and beg Pardon for the Folly; and, at the ſame Time, apologize for my Concealment of the Reaſon of my ſecond Elopement, as 'twas partly a Family-Concern, though perhaps I might be condemned, were I to reveal it: But, notwithſtanding I've done a Thouſand unaccountable Things, I cannot abſolutely think myſelf blameable for that laſt Project, farther than in uſing a Gentleman ill, who had behaved to me agreeable to that Character, when he might have taken any Ad⯑vantages againſt me, without being thought guilty of Inhumanity or Injuſtice.

Soon after Paſquin began to droop, Mr. Lillo, the Author of George Barnwell, brought Mr. Fielding a Tragedy of Three Acts, called, The Fatal Curioſity, taken from a true tragic Tale of a Family at Penryn, in Cornwall, who lived in the Reign of King [65] James the Firſt. In this Play are two well-drawn Characters, under the Denominations of old Wilmot and his Wife Agnes, an aged Pair; who had, from too much Hoſpitality on the Husband's Part, and unbounded Pride on the Wife's, out-run a vaſt Eſtate, and were re⯑duced to extreameſt Poverty.

The late Mr. John Roberts, a very judi⯑cious Speaker, diſcovered a Maſterſhip in the Character of the Husband, and I appeared in that of the Wife. We were kindly received by the Audience; the Play had a freſh Run the Seaſon following; and, if I can obtain a Grant for ONE NIGHT ONLY, I intend to make my Appearance once more as Mrs. Agnes, for my own Benefit, at the Hay-Market Theatre; on which Occaſion, I hum⯑bly hope the Favour and Intereſt of my wor⯑thy Friends.

At the Time I was engaged with Mr. Fielding, I lodged in Oxendon-Street, and boarded with my Siſter Brett, who was but an Inmate as well as myſelf; but I, and my little Daughter, ſwelled up the Number of her Family. I being a Sort of Creature that was regarded as a favourite Cat or miſchievous Monkey about Houſe, was eaſily put off with what reaſonable People might have deemed [66] not only an Inconvenience, but an Affront; I accordingly was put into the worſt Apart⯑ment, and was entirely inſenſible of it's Od⯑dity, 'till a bluſtering Night rouſed me into an Obſervation of it's extraordinary Delicacy. When I had thoroughly ſurveyed it, I ſat down and wrote the following Deſcription of the Room, and exact Inventory of my Chattels.

[68] Theſe curious Lines were, for nineteen Years, preſerved by my fooliſh, fond Siſter; who, in her Turn, has been a univerſal Friend to her Brethren, or rather her Siſter⯑hood. I wiſh Fortune had been leſs ri⯑gourous, and Gratitude more predominant; that the former might have prevented, or the latter have been the tender Motive to aſſwage thoſe Sorrows and Inconveniencies of Life, ſhe at preſent labours under: From which, as far as ſhe has a Claim in me, and my poor Capacity extends, I'll make it the Buſineſs of my Life to extricate her; as I have, when Fortune was in her Power, been a Participater of her Bounty.

I don't make this Deſign publick with any Regard to myſelf, but with the pleaſing Hope of being the happy Example to others, from whom ſhe may have an equal Claim, both from NATURE AND GRATITUDE. Poor Thing! ſhe is now in the five and fiftieth Year of her Age; and, as ſhe has had no Faults the Family can alledge againſt her, 'tis Pity but ſhe ſhould be tenderly conſidered by 'em all, that the remaining Part of Life may paſs away without thoſe corroding Cares, that are too often the Impediment to our caſt⯑ing our Thoughts beyond the preſent State; [69] which, alas! is the ſad and dreadful Conſe⯑quence of a FORGETFULNESS AND DIS⯑REGARD OF THE FUTURE.

I don't apprehend that to be my unhappy Siſter's Caſe, for I'm certain her Reaſon and good Senſe can never be reduced to ſuch a Stupefaction; yet the ſtrongeſt Intellects, and moſt reſolute Minds, may poſſibly be van⯑quiſh'd in ſome Degree, by an oppreſſive Load of Anguiſh, and uninterrupted Hours of Care.

Now I am ſpeaking of her, I muſt not omit the Mention of Mr. Joſeph Marples, her ſecond Husband, the faithful Partner of her Sorrows; who is worthy the Conſidera⯑tion of every human Heart, as he tenderly en⯑deavours to ſoften all her Diſtreſſes, which doubly preys on his Mind, from Want of Power totally to diſſipate; and wears to her a pleaſing Aſpect, with a bleeding Heart. But I hope Providence has ſtill an unforeſeen Happineſs in Store for 'em; and that I ſhall ſee their Clouds of Grief brighten'd with Smiles of Joy, from the Poſſeſſion of a happier Fortune.

I muſt now leave them in the induſtrious and pleaſing Search of what, I hope, they'll ſhortly obtain, and purſue my Story; by in⯑forming [70] my Reader, when I removed from my airy Manſion before-deſcribed, I took it into my Head to dive into TRADE. To that End, I took a Shop in Long-Acre, and turn'd Oil-woman and Grocer.

This new Whim proved very ſucceſsful, for every Soul of my Acquaintance, of which I have a numerous Share, came in Turn to ſee my mercantile Face; which carried in it as conceited an Air of Trade as it had before in Phyſick, and I talk'd of myſelf and other DEALERS, as I was pleaſed to term it. The Riſe and Fall of Sugars was my conſtant Topick; and Trading, Abroad and at Home, was as frequent in my Mouth as my Meals. To compleat the ridiculous Scene, I conſtantly took in the Papers to ſee how Matters went at Bear-Key; what Ships were come in, or loſt; who, in our Trade, was broke; or who advertiſed Teas at the loweſt Prices: Ending with a Comment upon thoſe Dealers, who were endeavouring to under-ſell us; ſhrewdly prognoſticating their never being quiet, 'till they had rendered the Article of Tea a meer Drug; and THAT I, AND MANY MORE OF THE BUSINESS, ſhould be obliged entirely to give it up. An Injury to Traffick in general! that muſt be al⯑lowed.

[71] I muſt beg Leave, gentle Reader, to tell you, that my Stock perhaps did not exceed ten or a dozen Pounds at a Time of each Sort; but that furniſhed me with as much Diſcourſe, as if I had the whole Lading of a Ship in my Shop. Then, as to Oils, to be ſure the famous Nobbs, and Fifty more, were not to be put in Competition with mine for their Excellence; and, though I ſeldom kept above a Gallon of a Sort in the Houſe, I carried on the Farce ſo far as to write to Country Chap⯑men to deal with me.

Then I conſidered, 'till I had eſtabliſhed a univerſal Trade, I'd ſave, for the firſt Year, the Expence of an Out-rider, as I was a very good Horſewoman, and go the Journies my⯑ſelf; concluding, with a ſignificant Nod, that Money was as well in my own Pocket as another's.—But, providentially for me, I could gain no Country Cuſtomers; for, as the Caſe ſtood, I muſt poſitively have let 'em had the Goods conſiderably to my own Loſs: And, as a Proof, will relate a Cir⯑cumſtance that occurred to me, in the ſell⯑ing a Quarter of a Hundred of Lump-Sugar to a good-natur'd Friend, who came to buy it for no other Reaſon, but that I ſold it.

[72] 'Tis cuſtomary, in buying of Sugars by the Hundred, to be allowed a Tret of ſix Pounds extra. I was ſo inſufferably proud of hear⯑ing ſo large a Quantity demanded by my Friend, that I really forgot the Character of Grocer, and, fancying myſelf the Sugar-Baker, allow'd in the twenty-five Pounds the Half of what I got in the Hundred; alledging, that 'twas our Way, when People dealt for large Quantities, to make an Allowance over and above the common Weight.

My Friend, who knew no better than my⯑ſelf, promiſed me all the Cuſtom ſhe could bring; which, if ſhe had been as good as her Word, might in due Courſe of Time have paved the Way for me either to New⯑gate, the Fleet, or Marſhalſea.

After my Friend was gone with her Bar⯑gain, I began (as I thought Trade encreaſing) to think it proper to purchaſe a large Pair of Scales to weigh by Hundreds, and a large Beam to hang 'em on; and ſet out next Morning to that Purpoſe, traverſing through Drury-Lane, Holborn, Fleet-Ditch, &c. but, meeting with nothing to my Mind, returned Home, with a Reſolution to have a Pair made.

[73] The good Woman who kept the Houſe, upon hearing I had been endeavouring to make this needleſs Purchaſe, made bold to enquire into the Neceſſity of it: Upon which I told her, what had happened the Day before; and mentioned, as a Proof of my Knowledge of Trade, the Advantage I allowed to my Friend. She for ſome Time left me amazed at her Meaning, while ſhe was almoſt ſtrangled with laughing at my Folly.

When ſhe came to herſelf, I gravely asked where the Joke lay, and what mighty Won⯑der there was in my having an encreaſing Trade, who had ſuch a univerſal Acquaint⯑ance? As ſoon as ſhe was able to convince me of the Error I had committed, in giving one Half of the Over-weight in a Quarter of a Hundred, which was allowed in a whole Hundred only, I began to drop my Jaw, and looked as fooliſh as any reaſonable Perſon may ſuppoſe, on ſo ridiculous an Occaſion.

Links and Flambeaux are a Commodity be⯑longing to the Oil-Trade, at leaſt generally ſold in Shops of that Kind, and conſtant and large Demands I had for both: But I remem⯑ber, in particular, one of thoſe nocturnal Il⯑luminators, who are the neceſſary Conductors [74] for thoſe who don't chuſe Chairs or Coaches, came every Night juſt before Candle-time, which is the dusky Part of the Evening, the moſt convenient Light for perpetrating a wicked Intent, as will be proved in the Sequel of my Story.

To be ſure I thought myſelf infinitely obliged to the ſooty-colour'd Youth for uſing my Shop, and was mighty proud of his Hand⯑ſel every Evening; and ſometimes, as I dealt in ſpiritous Liquors, treated him with a Dram, and many Thanks for his own, and other Gentlemens Cuſtom, of his Profeſſion. The arch Villain ſmiled, and expreſſed great Satisfaction that even, in his poor Way, he had the Power of ſerving his good Miſtreſs. He bow'd, and I curtſey'd; 'till, walking Backwards out of my Shop, he had com⯑plemented me out of every Braſs Weight I had in it.

He had not been gone five Minutes, ere I had Occaſion to make uſe of ſome of 'em; when, to my great Amazement and Confuſion, not one was to be found. Unluckily for me, they were piled up one within the other, and injudiciouſly placed in the Corner of the Window next the Door, quite pat to his Pur⯑poſe: And he was really ſo perfect a Maſter [75] of his Art in Filching, that, notwithſtanding the great Ceremony that paſſed between us from the Upper-End of the Shop to the Lower, he went off entirely undiſcovered in his Villainy.

I need not tell the Reader 'twas the laſt Interview we ever had, 'till I (to his great Misfortune) ſaw him making a ſmall Tour in a two-wheel'd Coach from Newgate to Ty⯑burn; a College where many an induſtrious 'Squire, like himſelf, have frequently and deſervedly taken their Degrees.

This ſecond Fracas ſo cloſely purſuing the former, I had ſome ſecret Thoughts of ſhut⯑ting up my Shop for ever, to conceal my Misfortunes and Diſgrace; though I altered my Mind for that Time, but, I think, in about three Months after I poſitively threw it up, at a Hundred Pounds Stock, all paid for, to keep à grand Puppet-Show over the Tennis-Court, in James-Street, which is licenced, and which is the only one in this Kingdom that has had the good Fortune to obtain ſo advantageous a Grant.

When I firſt went into my Shop, I was horribly puzzled for the Means of ſecuring my Effects from the Power of my Husband; [76] who, though he did not live with me, I knew had a Right to make bold with any Thing that was mine, as there was no for⯑mal Article of Separation between us: And I could not eaſily brook his taking any Thing from me to be profuſely expended on his Miſtreſs, who lived no farther from me than the Houſe next to the Coach-Maker's, in Great Queen's-Street, and was Siſter to the famous Mrs. Sally K—g, one of the Ladies of the HIGHEST IRREPUTABLE REPUTA⯑TION at that Time, in or about Covent-Garden. However, to prevent any Danger, I gave and took all Receipts ('till Mr. Charke went to Jamaica, where he died in about twenty Months after his leaving England) in the Name of a Widow Gentlewoman, who boarded with me, and I ſat quiet and ſnug with the pleaſing Reflection of my Security, though he ſuſpected I had a Hand in the Plot.

But he did not ſtay long enough to trouble me on that Score, for his Lady was one Day unfortunately arreſted for a Hundred Pounds, as they ſat Tête à Tête at Dinner: And he, to ſhow his Gallantry, went directly into the City and immediately purchaſed her Redemp⯑tion, by taken up that Sum of the Merchants, who were Agents for the Gentleman he went [77] over with; and whom, 'till then, he left in Uncertainty whether he would go or not.

It was concerted between this happy Pair, that Madam ſhould follow; and, I ſuppoſe, paſs in the Indies for his Wife, which ſhe had my Leave to do, though ſhe were a Lady.

As I have, among many other Cenſures, laboured under that of being a giddy, indiſ⯑creet Wife, I muſt take this Opportunity of referring myſelf to the ſuperior Judgment of thoſe who read my Story; whether a young Creature, who actually married for Love (at leaſt I thought ſo; nay, was fooliſh enough to think myſelf equally beloved) muſt not naturally be incenſed, when, in leſs than a Month after Marriage, I received the moſt demonſtrative Proofs of Diſregard, where I ought to have found the greateſt Tenderneſs; To be even to my Face, apparently convinc'd of his inſatiate Fondneſs for a Plurality of com⯑mon Wretches, that were to be had for Half a Crown. This, conſequently, raiſed in me both Averſion and Contempt; and, not hav⯑ing Years enough to afford me much Reflec⯑tion, nor Patience ſufficient to ſit down like Lady Eaſy, contented with my Wrongs, 'till [78] Experience might by Chance have made him wiſer.

Had he entertained a reciprocal Affection for me, he had, when I married him, ſo ab⯑ſolute a Poſſeſſion of my Heart, 'twas in his Power to have moulded my Temper as he thought fit; but the ungrateful Returns my Fondneſs met with could not fail of the un⯑happy Effects, of a growing Diſregard on my Side.

I was in Hope the Birth of my little Girl might have made ſome Impreſſion on his Mind, but 'twas the ſame Thing after as before it; nor did he make the leaſt Proviſion for either of us, when he went Abroad. 'Tis true, I was then in Lincoln's-Inn-Fields Playhouſe, and from thence engaged at a good Salary with the late Mr. Fielding; but then I was as liable to Death or Infirmities as any other Part of the Creation, which might have diſempower'd me from getting my own, or my Child's bread.

Pray what was to become of us then? I laboured under the melancholly Circumſtance, of being newly under my Father's Diſpleaſure, and conſequently no Redreſs to be hoped or expected from that Quarter, which he very [79] well knew; and, as I have been ſince inform⯑ed, was one of the principal Sowers of Sedi⯑tion betwixt us: Though, at the ſame Time, he would explode my Father behind his Back, and condemn him to me, for the very Things he had partly urged him to.

However, though he did not chuſe to be a HUSBAND or a FATHER, he proved himſelf a SON, by making an Aſſignment of Twenty Pounds a Year, during his Life, to his Mo⯑ther; who conſtantly made it her Practice to be one of the Party with him and his Lady, and very confidently come from them to my Apartment, and give me a Hiſtory of the Chat of the Day that had paſſed between them.

But Peace to his Manes! and, I hope Heaven has forgiven him, as I do from my Soul; and wiſh, for both our ſakes, he had been Maſter of more Diſcretion, I had then poſſibly been poſſeſſed of more Prudence.

About a Year before he went to the Indies, I had the Misfortune to loſe my dear Mother, otherwiſe I ſhould not have undergone that Perturbation of Mind I ſuffered, from his not leaving any Thing, in Caſe of Accidents, for mine and the Child's Support; as my Mo⯑ther's [80] Tenderneſs would have made us equally her Care, in any Exigence that might have occurred to me. But, alas! ſhe was gone, to my Sorrow, even to the preſent Minute in which I mention her; and ſhall ever revere her Memory, as is quite incumbent on me, for her inexpreſſible Fondneſs and tender Re⯑gard for me, to the lateſt Moment of her Life.

This dear Woman was poſſeſſed of every perſonal Charm, that could render her attrac⯑tive and aimable. Her Conqueſt over my Fa⯑ther, was by a Viſit he made to her late Brother, whom I have before mentioned; and, as he paſſed by the Chamber, where ſhe was accompanying her own Voice on the Harpſichord, his Ear was immediately charm⯑ed, on which he begged to be introduced, and, at firſt Sight, was captivated. Nor, as I hear, was ſhe leſs delighted with the Spright⯑lineſs of his Wit, than he was with the Fund of Perfection with which Art and Nature had equally endowed her. In ſhort, a private Courtſhip began, and ended in a Marriage againſt her Father's Conſent, as Mr. Colley Cibber was then rather too young for a Hus⯑band, in the old Gentleman's Opinion, he not coming to Age 'till after (as I have been told) the Birth of his ſecond Child: But not⯑withſtanding [81] my Grandfather, in the End, gave her a Fortune, and intended a larger, but this Marriage made him convert the intended additional Sum to another Uſe; and, in Re⯑venge, built a Folly on the Thames, called Shore's-Folly, which was demoliſhed ſome Years before I was born.

Her Father's Family, excluſive of her Chil⯑dren, is now entirely extinct, by the Death of my Uncle; who, poor Man, had the Misfor⯑tune to be ever touched in his Brain, and, as a convincing Proof, married his Maid, at an Age when he and ſhe both had more Occaſion for a Nurſe than a Parſon.

We have Proof poſitive of his being inca⯑pable of making a Will that can ſtand good; for which Reaſon I am determined, as being one of the Heirs at Law, to have a Trial of Skill with the ancient Lady, and ſee whether a proper Appeal to the Court of Chancery won't be the happy Means of ſetting aſide a mad Man's Will, and make Way for thoſe who have a more legal and juſtifiable Claim to his Effects, than an old Woman, whoſe utmoſt Merit conſiſted in being his Servant. I am only aſtoniſhed they have let her alone ſo long, but I promiſe her ſhe ſhall not find me quite ſo paſſive—and that right ſoon.

For ſome Time I reſided at the Tennis-Court with my Puppet-Show, which was al⯑lowed to be the moſt elegant that was ever exhibited. I was ſo very curious, that I bought Mezzotinto's of ſeveral eminent Perſons, and had the Faces carved from them. Then, in regard to my Cloaths, I ſpared for no Coſt to make them ſplendidly magnificent, and the Scenes were agreeable to the reſt.

This Affair ſtood me in ſome Hundreds, and would have paid all Coſts and Charges, if I had not, through exceſſive Fatigue in ac⯑compliſhing it, acquired a violent Fever, which had like to have carried me off, and conſequently gave a Damp to the Run I ſhould otherwiſe have had, as I was one of the prin⯑cipal Exhibiters for thoſe Gentry; whoſe Mouths were, like many others we have ſeen MOVE without any Reality of Utterance, or at leaſt ſo unintelligible in the Attempt, they might as well have cloſed their Lips, without raiſing an Expectation they were unlucky enough to diſappoint, whether ORATORS or PLAYERS, is not material: But as I have myſelf been lately admitted into the Number [83] of the former, and from my Youth helped to fill up the CATALOGUE of the latter, I hope no Exceptions will be taken, as the Cap may as reaſonably fit myſelf, as any other of either Profeſſion; though I muſt beg Leave to hint, however deficient I, or ſome of my Co⯑temporaries may be, EVERY TRAGICK PLAYER, AT LEAST, SHOULD BE AN ORATOR.

'Tis no Complement to Mr. Garrick, to ſay, HE IS BOTH; conſequently Encomiums are needleſs to prove, what the niceſt Judges have, for ſome few Years paſt, been ſo pleaſingly convinced of.

'Tis, I own, natural and neceſſary to apolo⯑gize for diſgreſſing from a Subject; but, I hope, when the Reader conſiders the Merit of the Perſon who occaſion'd it, I may, in the Eye of Reaſon and Judgment, ſtand excuſed. Perhaps, as Mr. Garrick is a Perſon who many may undoubtedly wiſh to pay their Court to, this Remark may be deemed Adula⯑tion; but I muſt beg their Pardons, and aſſure them, they would, in that Point, be guilty of a very great Error, for I am the laſt Creature in the World to be picked out for that Piece of Folly: Nay, I think ſo meanly of it, as to ſet it down as Servility, [84] which I heartily contemn; and have been often blamed for a too Openneſs of Temper, that has ſometimes hazarded the Loſs of a Friend.

In Regard to the above-mention'd Gentle⯑man, there is not any Mortal breathing, that enjoys the Benefit of Hearing and of Sight, but muſt receive infinite Delight from his Performance, though they ſhould be ever ſo indifferent to him, when off the Stage. But that is not my Caſe; I have received ſome Acts of Friendſhip from him, therefore of Courſe muſt revere him as a Benefactor, and am proud of this Opportunity to make him a publick Acknowledgement.

'Tis certain, there never was known a more unfortunate Devil than I have been; but I have, in the Height of all my Sorrows, hap⯑pily found a numerous Quantity of Friends, whoſe Commiſeration ſhall be taken Notice of with the utmoſt Gratitude, before I cloſe this Narrative. Now, ON TO THE AFFAIRS OF STATE.

When I quitted the Tennis-Court, I took a Houſe, in Marſham-Street, Weſtminſter, and lived very privately for a little while; 'till I began to conſider, that my wooden Troop [85] might as well be put in Action, and determined to march to Tunbridge-Wells at the Head of them. When I arrived, there was a General who had taken the Field before me; one Lacon, a famous Perſon, who had for many ſucceſſive Years, and indeed, very ſucceſsfully, entertained the Company with thoſe inanimate Heroes and Heroines: I therefore was obliged to ſound a Retreat, and content myſelf with confining my Forces, and fighting againſt Lacon in Propria Perſona, at Aſhley's Great Room.

I had living Numbers ſufficient to play two or three of our thineſt Comedies; and our only Tragedy we had to our Backs was George Barnwell, which I play'd for my own Benefit the laſt Night, and ſet out next Morning for London.

When I arrived there, I began to conſider which Way I ſhould turn myſelf. Being then out of the Houſes, and in no Likelihood of future Reſtoration, I reſolved to make the beſt Uſe I could of my Figures, without fatiguing myſelf any farther, and lett my Comedians out for Hire to a Man, who was principally concerned in the Formation of them: But Buſineſs not anſwering his Ends and my Ex⯑pectations, I ſold, for twenty Guineas, what [86] coſt me near five hundred Pounds. Another Proof of my Diſcretion! and, indeed, of the Honeſty of the Purchaſer, that knew the origi⯑nal Expence of them, and the Reality of their Worth: But as I have condemn'd him for taking the Advantage of my Neceſſity, ſhall conceal his Name; and hope he'll have Modeſty enough, if this Paragraph ſhould be read to him, (by ſome who knew the Affair,) to add one Sin more, in denying that he was the Perſon.

I even gave him the Privilege, as I had a Licence, to make uſe of that and my Name; which now, when ever I think proper (as I ſhall never exhibit any Thing that can poſſibly give Offence) ſhall always employ Mr. Yeates, who is a skillful Perſon, and one who has made it his Buſineſs from his Youth upwards.

As 'tis very poſſible I may entertain the Town with ſome unaccountable Oddity of that Kind very ſhortly, thoſe that like to laugh I know will encourage me; and, I am cer⯑tain, there is none in the World MORE FIT THAN MYSELF TO BE LAUGH'D AT. I confeſs myſelf an odd Mortal, and believe I need no Force of Argument, beyond what has been already ſaid, to bring the whole Globe terreſtrial into that Opinion.

[87] It has been hinted (and indeed luckily came to my Ear,) that I ſhould never have Patience to go through the Proceſs of my Life. I don't ſuppoſe thoſe who could advance ſuch a Piece of Folly in me could poſſibly be my Friends, and am ſorry for their Want of Humanity, as this Work is at preſent the Staff of my Life; and ſuch an Inſinuation muſt naturally deter many from taking it in, if they ſuppoſe me capable of ſuch an In⯑conſiſtency: So far from it, that were I, by Miracle, capable of riding in my own Coach, I would ſtill purſue my Scheme, 'till I had brought it to a Concluſion; for, a happy Change of Circumſtances makes

And what now is my SUPPORT, would then be my AMUSEMENT.

'Tis ſtrange! but true! let People uſe the moſt honeſt Endeavours to ſupport themſelves, there is generally ſome ridiculous Mortal that, without Rhime or Reaſon, and for the ſake of ſaying ſomething, without any real Views of Good or Ill, are often detrimental to the In⯑duſtrious or Oppreſſed. Be it as it may, 'tis an Error, I fear, INVINCIBLE and HURT⯑FUL [88] TO BOTH; and ſure, unprovoked to offer an Injury, is UNPARDONABLE! If the contrary were the Caſe, 'tis NOBLER FAR to OVER-LOOK THAN RESENT; but, as I have no Reaſon to believe that I have offended, I hope for the future no Perſon will be in⯑diſcreet enough to aſſert that for a TRUTH, which Time will prove to be a real FALS⯑HOOD.

Not long after I had parted from what might really, by good Management, have brought me in a very comfortable Subſiſtance, and in a genteel Light, I was addreſſed by a worthy Gentleman (being then a Widow) and cloſely purſued 'till I conſented to an honour⯑able, though very ſecret Alliance; and, in Compliance to the Perſon, bound myſelf by all the Vows ſincereſt Friendſhip could inſpire, never to confeſs who he was. Gratitude was my Motive to conſent to this Conjunction, and extream Fondneſs was his Inducement to re⯑queſt it. To be ſhort, he ſoon died; and, unhappily for me, not only from ſuſtaining the Loſs of a valuable and ſincere Friend, but by the unexpected Stroke of Death, I was de⯑prived of every Hope and Means of a Sup⯑port.

[89] As I have overcome all the Inconveniencies of Life this terrible Shock of Fate rendered me liable to, I am contented, and think my⯑ſelf happy; but not even the moſt inexplicable Sorrows I was immers'd in ever did, nor ſhall any Motive whatever make me break that Vow I made to the Perſon, by a Diſ⯑covery of his Name.

This was a Means indeed, by which I hoped to have ſecured myſelf far above thoſe Diſtreſſes I have known; but, alas! proved the FATAL CAUSE OF ALL. I was left in⯑volved with Debts I had no Means of pay⯑ing; and, through the villainous Inſtigation of a wicked drunken Woman, was arreſted for ſeven Pounds, when, as Heaven ſhall judge me, I did not know where to raiſe as many Pence.

The Officer who had me in Cuſtody, on hearing my Story, really compaſſionated me, and was exceeding angry at the Woman; who, without Cauſe, worked up the Creditor to believe I had a Fortune of five Hundred per Annum left me, which was not in the Power of the Deceaſed to leave; nor as the Affair was a Secret, and Death ſudden, any Probability of ſuch a Happineſs.

[90] This Misfortune was occaſioned firſt by the Stupidity and Cruelty of the Woman, and effected by Dint of a very handſome lac'd Hat I had on, being then, for ſome ſubſtantial Reaſons, EN CAVALIER; which was ſo well deſcribed, the Bailiff had no great Trouble in finding me.

Undoubtedly I was extream happy, when he told me his Buſineſs! Having nothing in View but the Marſhalſea, the Gates of which I thought, though at that Time in the Middle of Covent-Garden, ſtood wide open for my Reception: But as the Man had Humanity, he eaſed me of thoſe Fears; and, by Dint of a trifling Favour, conferr'd by poor Mrs. Elizabeth Careleſs, (whoſe Name will, I believe, be for ſome Years in Remembrance) I was ſet at Large, 'till Matters could be ac⯑commodated.

'Tis not to be expreſſed, the Tranſport I felt on his leaving me behind him with Mrs. Careleſs, and her good-natur'd Friend; who, being an Attorney, was incapable of becoming my Bail, but compaſſionated my Diſtreſs, and ſent me directly to Mr. Mytton, who kept the Croſs-Keys, requeſting him to do that friendly Office for me; and ſent by me a [91] Note of Indemnification, which Mr. Mytton could on no Means make any Exceptions to, as the Gentleman was a Perſon of Worth and Honour; and beſides, a particular good Cuſtomer to the other.

The next Thing was to procure another Bail, to join with the former. I ſoon ob⯑tained one, whoſe good Nature was eaſily excited to do a kind Action; but, when I went to the Officer and told who it was, Objections were made againſt him, as he was obliged himſelf to keep cloſe, for fear of an equal Diſaſter; and, to convince me of his Danger, produced a Writ which had been two or three Times renewed, to no Pur⯑poſe.

What to do in this terrible Exigence I could not tell, as I had but a Day and a Half longer to be at Large, if I could not produce a ſecond Bail. I tried all Means, but in vain; and, on the Friday following, was obliged to ſurrender, and lay that Night in Jackſon's-Aſley, at the Officer's Houſe.

I had not been there Half an Hour, before I was ſurrounded with all the Ladies who kept Coffee-Houſes in and about the Garden, each offering Money for my Ranſom: But no⯑thing [92] then could be done, without the Debt and Coſts; which, though there was, I be⯑lieve, about a dozen or fourteen Ladies preſent, they were not able to raiſe. As far as their Finances extended, they made an Offer of 'em; and would have given Notes jointly or ſeparately, for the Relief of poor Sir Charles, as they were pleaſed to ſtile me. 'Tis true, the Officer would willingly have come into their kind Propoſitions, as he was truly ſenſible of my Indigence; but, being cloſely watched by the Creditor, who would, on no Terms be brought to any Compoſition, all their Efforts were ineffectual.

After two or three Hours waſted in fruitleſs Entreaties, it growing late, they left me to bewail the terrible Scene of Horror that pre⯑ſented to my tortured View; and, with a Heart over-charged with Anguiſh, and hope⯑leſs of Redreſs, I retired to my Dormitory, and paſſed the Night in bittereſt Reflections on my melancholly Situation.

My poor Child, who was then but eight Years of Age, and whoſe ſole Support was on her HAPLESS, FRIENDLESS MOTHER, knew not what was become of me, or where to ſeek me; and, with watchful Care, wore [93] away the tedious Night, in painful Apprehen⯑ſions of what really had befallen me.

About Seven next Morning, I diſpatched a Meſſenger to my poor little ſuffering Infant; who ſoon came to me, with her Eyes over⯑flowed with Tears, and a Heart full of un⯑diſſembled Anguiſh. She immediately threw her Head upon my Boſom, and remained in ſpeechleſs Grief, with which I equally en⯑countered her. For ſome Time the Child was ſo entirely ſenſible of our Misfortunes, and of the Want of Means of being extricated from them, 'twas with Difficulty I ſoothed her into a Calm. Alas! what has the POOR and FRIENDLESS TO HOPE FOR! ſur⯑rounded with Sorrows of ſuch a Nature, that even People in tolerable Circumſtances find ſome Perplexity, when SO ASSAILED, to OVERCOME?

I ſat down and wrote eight and thirty Let⯑ters before I ſtirred out of my Chair, ſome of which went where I thought NATURE might have put in HER CLAIM, but I could ob⯑tain no Anſwer; and, where I LEAST EX⯑PECTED, I FOUND REDRESS!

My poor little Wench was the melancholly Meſſenger, and neither eat or drank 'till ſhe [94] had faithfully diſcharged the Truſt I repoſed in her. To be ſhort, the very Ladies who had viſited me the Night before, brought with them the late Mrs. Elizabeth Hughes; who, by Dint of her laying down a Couple of Guineas, and a Collection from the reſt, with a Guinea from Mrs. Douglaſs in the Piazza, I was ſet at Liberty; and the Offi⯑cer adviſed me to change Hats with him, that being the very Mark by which I was un⯑fortunately diſtinguiſhed, and made known to him.

My Hat was ornamented with a beautiful Silver Lace, little the worſe for wear, and of the Size which is now the preſent Taſte; the Officer's a large one, cocked up in the Coach⯑man's Stile, and weightened with a horrible Quantity of Crape, to ſecure him from the Winter's Cold.

As to my Figure, 'tis ſo well known it needs no Deſcription; but my Friend, the Bailiff, was a very ſhort, thick, red-faced Man: Of ſuch a Corpulency, he might have appeared in the Character of Falſtaff, with⯑out the artful Aſſiſtance of Stuffing, and his Head proportionable to his Body, conſequently we each of us made very droll Figures; he with his little laced Hat, which appeared on [95] his Head of the Size of thoſe made for the Spaniſh Ladies, and my unfortunate Face ſmothered under his, that I was almoſt as much incommoded as when I marched in the Ditch, under the inſupportable Weight of my Father's.

However, this ſmoaky Conveniency (for it ſtunk inſufferably of Tobacco) was a Security and abſolute Prevention from other threatning Dangers, and I prudently retired into a moſt diſmal and ſolitary Manſion in Great Queen's-Street, where I was hourly apprehenſive of having the Houſe fall upon my Head; though if it had, according to the old Proverb, it would not have been the firſt Misfortune of the Kind that had befallen me. 'Twas the old Building, which has ſince been formed into ſeveral new and handſome Houſes.

When my kind Redeemers took me away, they treated me with an elegant Supper, and ſent me Home to my Child with a Guinea in my Pocket; which they very politely deſired me to accept on, as a Preſent to her.

I paſſed the Night in grateful Thoughts, both to Heaven, and thoſe appointed by that Great Power to ſave me from the Gulph of abſolute Deſtruction. I never having been in [96] a Diſtreſs of that kind before, laid my Sor⯑row deeper to Heart; and the inexpreſſible Delight of being reſtored to my Child and Liberty, was almoſt too much for my fluttered Spirits at that Time to bear. So unexpected a Relief may be deemed a Prodigy! But what is there ſo difficult or unlikely, in the Imagination of thoughtleſs Mortals, that the ALL-GRACIOUS RULER OF THE WORLD CANNOT BRING TO BEAR?

This very Circumſtance convinces me that no Misfortune, of ever ſo dreadful a Nature, ſhould excite us to deſpair. What had I to conceive, but the miſerable Enforcement to linger out a wretched Life in Priſon? A Child, who might poſſibly have been deſpiſed only for being mine; and, perhaps, reduced to Beggary.

Theſe were the entertaining Ideas I had the Night of my Confinement; but, when I found Providence had been ſo tenderly and induſtri⯑ouſly employed in my Behalf, I began to ar⯑raign myſelf for ſuppoſing that my Relations, in ſuch Extremity, though they were RE⯑GARDLESS OF ME, would have abandoned AN INNOCENT AND HAPLESS CHILD to that rigourous Fate my Fears ſuggeſted.

[97] During my ſolitary Reſidence in Queen's-Street, I never made my Appearance, for a conſiderable Time, but on a Sunday; and was obliged to have recourſe to as many Friends as I could muſter up, to help me to a Support for myſelf and my little Fellow-Sufferer. She, poor Child! was ſo deeply affected with the Malevolence of my Fortune, it threw her into a very dangerous Illneſs; but, even in that Diſtreſs, Heaven raiſed a Friend. My Brother Theophilus Cibber, kind⯑ly ſent an Apothecary, at his own Expence; for which I ſhall ever acknowledge myſelf ex⯑treamly his Debtor, and am ſorry I have not the Power of making a more ſuitable Re⯑turn.

I left the poor Girl one Sunday, to prog for her and myſelf, by pledging with an Ac⯑quaintance a beautiful Pair of Sleeve-Buttons, which I effected in about two Hours; and, on my Return, asking the Landlady how the Child did, having left her very much indiſ⯑poſed: She told me, Miſs went up, about an Hour and Half ago, to put on ſome clean Linnen; but, by her ſtaying, ſhe concluded ſhe was lain down, having complained of be⯑ing very ſleepy before ſhe went up. But, Oh! Heaven! how vaſt was my Grief and [98] Surprize when I entered the Room, and found the poor little Soul ſtretched on the Floor, in ſtrong Convulſion Fits; in which ſhe had lain a conſiderable Time, and no Mortal near to give her the leaſt Aſſiſtance.

I took her up, and, overcome with ſtrong Grief, immediately dropped her on the Floor; which I wonder did not abſolutely end her by the Force of the Fall, as ſhe was in Fact a dead Weight. My ſcreaming and her falling raiſed the Houſe; and, in the Hurry of my Diſtraction, I run into the Street, with my Shirt-Sleeves dangling looſe about my Hands, my Wig ſtanding on End,

And proclaiming the ſudden Death of my much-beloved Child, a Crowd ſoon gathered round me, and, in the Violence of my Diſ⯑traction, inſtead of adminiſtring any neceſſary Help, wildly ſtood among the Mob to recount the dreadful Diſaſter.

The Peoples Compaſſion was moved, 'tis true; but, as I happened not to be known to them, it drew them into Aſtoniſhment, to ſee the Figure of a young Gentleman, ſo extrava⯑gantly grieved for the Loſs of a Child. As I [99] appeared very young, they looked on it as an unprecedented Affection in a Youth, and be⯑gan to deem me a Lunatick, rather then that there was any Reality in what I ſaid.

One of the People who had been employed in the Care, as I then thought, of my ex⯑piring Infant, miſſing me, ſought me out and brought me Home, where I found the Child ſtill in violent Convulſions; which held her from Sunday Eleven o'Clock in the Forenoon, without Intermiſſion, 'till between the Hours of Eight and Nine next Morning.

In the Midſt of this Scene of Sorrow, Mr. Adam Hallam, who lived next Door to my Lodging, hearing of my Misfortune, in a very genteel and tender Manner, proved him⯑ſelf a REAL FRIEND, UNASKED. The firſt Inſtance I had of his Humanity, was a Letter of Condolence, in which was encloſed that neceſſary and never-failing Remedy for every Evil, incidental to Mankind in general: And what was more extraordinary, was his con⯑ſtantly ſending to enquire after the Child's Health, with the ſame reſpectful Regard as might have been expected had I been poſſeſſed of that Affluence I but ſome few Months be⯑fore enjoyed.

[100] At his own Requeſt, his Table was my own; and, I am certain, his good Nature laid an Embargo on his Perſon, as he often dined at Home in Compliment to me, rather than leave me to undergo the Shock of mingling with his Servants, or be diſtinguiſhed by them as his Penſioner, by leaving me to eat by myſelf.

It happened, very à propos for me, that Mr. Hallam had a Back-Door into his Houſe, which prevented the Hazards I might other⯑wiſe have been liable to, by going into the Street: And indeed, as Sharp ſays to Gayleſs, THE BACK-DOOR I ALWAYS THOUGHT THE SAFEST, by which Means I had a fre⯑quent Opportunity of converſing with a ſin⯑cere Friend; whoſe Humanity aſſwaged the Anguiſh of my Mind, and whoſe Bounty was compaſſionately employed, for a conſiderable Time, to protect me and mine from the in⯑ſupportable and diſtracting Fears of Want.

After what I have ſaid, in regard to the Favours I received, I am certain no Perſon who ever knew what it was to be obliged, and had Honeſty enough to DARE TO BE GRATEFUL, will condemn me for making this publick Acknowledgement, who have no [101] other Means of doing Juſtice to one, that had no Motive or Right to give ſuch an Inſtance of Benevolence, but excited alone from a natural Propenſity to do a good Action.

Favours, when received, are too often for⯑got; and I have obſerved Gratitude to be a Principle, that bears the ſmalleſt Share in the Hearts of thoſe where it ought to be moſt ſtrongly Preſident, ſo that I begin to imagine one Half of the World don't underſtand the real Etymology of the Word.

But that I may give farther Aſſurances of my Deteſtation of that SIN OF UNKINDNESS AND INSOLENCE, I ſhall proceed to give a farther Account of Obligations I received from Strangers, and ſhall begin with thoſe conferred on me by the late Mr. Delane, Co⯑median; who, though almoſt a STRANGER TO MY PERSON, grew INTIMATE WITH MY AFFLICTION, and teſtified his Concern, by raiſing a timely Contribution to alleviate my Diſtreſs; and redoubled the favourable Remedy, in the Politeneſs of the Applica⯑tion.

Mrs. Woffington ſtands equally in the Rank of thoſe, whoſe Merits muſt be ſounded in the Song of grateful Praiſe, and many more [102] of the generous Natives of Ireland; who are, in Nature, a Set of worthy People, when they meet with Objects of Pity: And I have made bold to expatiate, in a particular Manner, on that Subject in my Hiſtory of Mr. Dumont, which will be immediately publiſhed, after the Concluſion of this Narrative.

I muſt now mention the friendly Aſſiſtance of Mr. Rich, Mr. Garrick, Mr. Lacey (the ſeveral Governors of the two Theatres) Mr. Beard, and many more of the Gentlemen of the Stage, to whoſe Bounty I ſhall ever think myſelf indebted.

I am now going to take Notice of a Perſon who, at FRIENDLY DISTANCE, has many Times afforded a happy Relief to my bittereſt Wants; namely, the preſent Mrs. Cibber, whoſe Pity was once the Means of ſaving my Life, by preventing my going to a Jail: And more than once or twice fed both myſelf and Child, by timely Preſents, only from HEAR⯑ING of the ſad Circumſtances we laboured un⯑der. Whatever the World may think, in regard to my taking this publick Notice of her Humanity, I muſt beg to be excuſed, if I inſiſt on my being JUSTIFIABLE BY THE LAWS OF GRATITUDE; and, as I was GLAD TO BE OBLIGED, ſhould think it the [103] Height of Inſolence, to be ASHAMED TO MAKE THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT.

As ſoon as my poor Girl began a little to recover, I ſometimes uſed, by OWL-LIGHT, to creep out, in Search of Adventures; and, as there was frequently Plays acted at the Tennis-Court, with trembling Limbs and ach⯑ing Heart, adventured to ſee (as I was uni⯑verſally ſtudied) whether there was any Cha⯑racter wanting; a Cuſtom very frequent among the Gentry who exhibited at that celebrated Slaughter-Houſe of Dramatick Poetry.

One Night, I remember, The Recruiting Officer was to be PERFORMED, as they were pleaſed to call it, for the Benefit of a young Creature who had never played before. To my unbounded Joy, Captain Plume was ſo very unfortunate, that he came at Five o'Clock to inform the young Gentlewoman he did not know a Line of his Part. I (who, though ſhut up in the Mock Green-Room) did not dare to tell them I could do it, for fear of being heard to ſpeak, and that the Sound of my Voice, which is particular, and as well known as my Face, ſhould betray me to thoſe Aſſailants of Liberty, who conſtantly attended every Play-Night there, to the inex⯑preſſible Terror of many a Potentate, who has [104] quiveringly tremored out the Hero, leſt the ſad Cataſtrophe ſhould rather end in a Spung-Houſe, than a Bowl of Poiſon or a timely Dagger—The want of which latter Inſtru⯑ment of Death, I once ſaw ſupplied with a Lady's Busk; who had juſt Preſence of Mind ſufficient to draw it from her Stays, and end at once her wretched Life, and more wretched Acting.

Some of theſe Kind of meritorious Exhibi⯑ters were to Maſſacre poor Farquhar that Night, but not one among them capable of playing, or rather going on for Plume; which they would have done perhaps, like a Chair ſet up to fill up the Number in a Country-Dance. At laſt the Queſtion was put to me. I immediately replied (ſeeing the Coaſt clear) I could do ſuch a Thing; but, like Moſca, was reſolved to ſtand on Terms, and make a Merit of Neceſſity. To be ſure, Ma'am, ſays I, I'd do any any Thing to eblige you: But I'm quite unprepared—I have nothing here proper—I want a Pair of White Stockings, and clean Shirt—Though, between Friends, in Caſe of a lucky Hit. I had all thoſe Things ready in my Coat-Pocket; as I was certain, let what Part would befal me, Cleanlineſs was a neceſſary Ingre⯑dient.

[105] Then I urged, That 'twould be ſcarce worth her while to pay me my Price: Upon which ſhe was immediately jogged by the El⯑bow, and took aſide to adviſe her to offer me a Crown. I, being pretty well uſed to the little Arts of thoſe worthy Wights, received the Propoſal ſoon after; and, without making any Anſwer to it, jogged the Lady's other Elbow, and withdrew; aſſuring her, that under a Guinea I poſitively would not under⯑take it: That, to prevent any Demur with the reſt of the People, ſhe ſhould give me the Sixteen Shillings privately, and publickly pay me Five.

Her Houſe was as full as it could hold, and the Audience clattering for a Beginning: At length ſhe was obliged to comply with my Demands, and I got ready with utmoſt Expedition. When the Play (which was, in Fact, A FARCE TO ME) was ended, I thought it mighty proper to ſtay 'till the Coaſt was clear, that I might carry off myſelf and Guinea ſecurely: But, in order to effect it, I changed Cloaths with a Perſon of low Degree, whoſe happy Rags, and the kind Covert of Night, ſecured me from the Dangers I might have otherwiſe encountered. My Friend took one Road I another, but met at my Lodg⯑ings, [106] where I rewarded him, poor as I was, with a Shilling; which, at that Time, I thought a competent Fortune for a younger Child.

It happened, not long after, that I was ap⯑plied to by a ſtrange, unaccountable Mortal, call'd Jockey Adams; famous for dancing the Jockey Dance, to the Tune of, Horſe to New-Market. As I was gaping for a Cruſt, I readily ſnap'd at the firſt that offered, and went with this Perſon to a Town within four Miles of London, where a very extraordinary Occurrence happened; and which, had I been really what I repreſented, might have rid in my own Coach, in the Rear of ſix Horſes.

Notwithſtanding my Diſtreſſes, the Want of Cloaths was not amongſt the Number. I ap⯑peared as Mr. Brown, (A NAME MOST HATEFUL TO ME NOW, FOR REASONS THE TOWN SHALL HAVE SHORTLY LEAVE TO GUESS AT) in a very genteel Manner; and, not making the leaſt Diſcovery of my Sex by my Behaviour, ever endeavour⯑ing to keep up to the well-bred Gentlemen, I became, as I may moſt properly term it, the unhappy Object of Love in a young Lady, whoſe Fortune was beyond all earthly Power to deprive her of, had it been poſſible for me [107] to have been, what ſhe deſigned me, nothing leſs than her Husband She was an Orphan Heireſs, and under Age; but ſo near it, that, at the Expiration [...] of eight Months, her Guardian reſigned his Truſt, and I might have been at once poſſeſſed of the Lady, and forty thouſand Pounds in the Bank of England: Beſides Effects in the Indies, that were worth about twenty Thouſand more.

This was a moſt horrible Diſappointment on both Sides; the Lady of the Husband, and I of the Money; which would have been thought an excellent Remedy for Ills, by thoſe leſs ſurrounded with Miſery than I was. I, who was the Principal in this Tragedy, was the laſt acquainted with it: But it got Wind from the Servants, to ſome of the Players; who, as Hamlet ſays, Can't keep a Secret, and they immediately communicated it to me.

Contrary to their Expectation, I received the Information with infinite Concern; not more in regard to myſelf, than from the poor Lady's Misfortune, in placing her Affec⯑tion on an improper Object; and whom, by Letters I afterwards received, confirmed me, ‘"She was too fond of her miſtaken Bargain."’

[108] The Means by which I came by her Let⯑ters, was through the Perſwaſion of her Maid; who, like moſt Perſons of her Function, are too often ready to carry on Intrigues. 'Twas no difficult Matter to perſwade an amorous Heart to follow its own Inclination; and ac⯑cordingly a Letter came to invite me to drink Tea, at a Place a little diſtant from the Houſe where ſhe lived.

The Reaſon given for this Interview was, the Deſire ſome young Ladies of her Acquaint⯑ance had to hear me ſing; and, as they never went to Plays in the Country, 'twould be a great Obligation to her if I would oblige her Friends, by complying with her Requeſt.

The Maid who brought this Epiſtle, in⯑form'd of the real Occaſion of its being wrote; and told me, if I pleaſed, I might be happieſt Man in the Kingdom, before I was eight and forty Hours older. This frank Declaration from the Servant, gave me but an odd Opinion of the Miſtreſs; and I ſometimes conceived, being conſcious how unfit I was to embrace ſo favourable an Opportunity, that it was all a Joke.

[109] However, be it as it might, I reſolved to go and know the Reality. The Maid too in⯑ſiſted that I ſhould, and proteſted her Lady had ſuffered much on my Account, from the firſt Hour ſhe ſaw me; and, but for her, the Secret had never been diſcloſed. She farther added, I was the firſt Perſon who had ever made that Impreſſion on her Mind. I own I felt a tender Concern, and reſolved within my⯑ſelf to wait on her; and, by honeſtly con⯑feſſing who I was, kill or cure her Hopes of me for ever.

In Obedience to the Lady's Command I waited on her, and found her with two more much of her own Age, who were her Confi⯑dents, and entruſted to contrive a Method to bring this Buſineſs to an End, by a private Marriage. When I went into the Room I made a general Bow to all, and was for ſeating myſelf neareſt the Door; but was ſoon lugg'd out of my Chair by a young Mad-cap of Faſhion; and, to both the Lady's Confuſion and mine, aukwardly ſeated by her.

We were exactly in the Condition of Lord Hardy and Lady Charlotte, in The Funeral; and I ſat with as much Fear in my Countenance, as if I had ſtole her Watch from her Side. [110] She, on her Part, often attempted to ſpeak; but had ſuch a Tremor on her Voice, ſhe ended only in broken Sentences. 'Tis true, I have undergone the dreadful Apprehenſions of a Bomb-Bailiff; but I ſhould have thought one at that Time a ſeaſonable Relief, and without repining have gone with him.

The before-mention'd Mad-cap, after putting us more out of Countenance by burſting into a violent Fit of Laughing, took the other by the Sleeve and withdrew, as ſhe thought, to give me a favourable Opportunity of paying my Addreſſes; but ſhe was deceived, for, when we were alone, I was ten thouſand Times in worſe Plight than before: And what added to my Confuſion was, ſeeing the poor Soul diſſolve into Tears, which ſhe en⯑deavoured to conceal.

This gave me Freedom of Speech, by a gentle Enquiry into the Cauſe; and, by tenderly trying to ſooth her into a Calm, I un⯑happily encreaſed, rather than aſſwaged the dreadful Conflict of Love and Shame which labour'd in her Boſom.

With much Difficulty, I muſtered up Courage ſufficient to open a Diſcourſe, by which I began to make a Diſcovery of my [111] Name and Family, which ſtruck the poor Creature into Aſtoniſhment; but how much greater was her Surprize, when I poſitively aſſured her that I was actually the youngeſt Daughter of Mr. Cibber, and not the Perſon ſhe conceived me! She was abſolutely ſtruck ſpeechleſs for ſome little Time; but, when ſhe regained the Power of Utterance, entreated me not to urge a Falſhood of that Nature, which ſhe looked upon only as an Evaſion, occaſioned, ſhe ſuppoſed, through a Diſlike of her Perſon: Adding, that her Maid had plainly told her I was no Stranger to her miſerable Fate, as ſhe was pleaſed to term it; and, indeed, as I really thought it.

I ſtill inſiſted on the Truth of my Aſ⯑ſertion; and deſired her to conſider, whether 'twas likely an indigent young Fellow muſt not have thought it an unbounded Happineſs, to poſſeſs at once ſo agreeable a Lady and im⯑menſe a Fortune, both which many a Noble⯑man in this Kingdom would have thought it worth while to take Pains to atchieve.

Notwithſtanding all my Arguments, ſhe was hard to be brought into a Belief of what I told her; and conceived that I had taken a Diſlike to her, from her too readily conſenting to her Servant's making that Declaration of [112] her Paſſion for me; and, for that Reaſon, ſhe ſuppoſed I had but a light Opinion of her. I aſſured her of the contrary, and that I was ſorry for us both, that Providence had not ordained me to be the happy Perſon ſhe deſigned me; that I was much obliged for the Honour ſhe conferr'd on me, and ſincerely grieved it was not in my Power to make a ſuitable Return.

With many Sighs and Tears on her Side, we took a melancholly Leave; and, in a few Days, the Lady retir'd into the Country, where I have never heard from, or of her ſince; but hope ſhe is made happy in ſome worthy Husband, that might deſerve her.

She was not the moſt Beautiful I have be⯑held, but quite the Agreeable; ſung finely, and play'd the Harpſichord as well; under⯑ſtood Languages, and was a Woman of real good Senſe: But ſhe was, poor Thing! an Inſtance, in regard to me, that the Wiſeſt may ſometimes err.

On my Return Home, the Itinerant-Troop all aſſembled round me, to hear what had paſſed between the Lady and me—when we were to celebrate the Nuptials?—Be⯑ſides many other impertinent, ſtupid Queſtions; [113] ſome offering, agreeable to their villainous Diſpoſitions, as the Marriage they ſuppos'd would be a Secret, to ſupply my Place in the Dark, to conceal the Fraud: Upon which I look'd at them very ſternly, and, with the Contempt they deſerved, demanded to know what Action of my Life had been ſo very monſtrous, to excite them to think me capable of one ſo cruel and infamous?

For the Lady's ſake, whoſe Name I would not for the Univerſe have had banded about by the Mouths of low Scurrility, I not only told them I had revealed to her who I was, but made it no longer a Secret in the Town; that, in Caſe it was ſpoke of, it might be regarded as an Impoſſibility, or, at worſt, a trump'd-up Tale by ſome ridiculous Block⯑head, who was fond of hearing himſelf prate, as there are indeed too many ſuch: Of which, in Regard to my own Character, I have been often a melancholly Proof; and, as it juſt now occurs to my Memory, will inform the Reader.

As Misfortunes are ever the mortifying Parents of each other, ſo mine were teeming, and each new Day produced freſh Sorrow: But as if the very Fiends of Deſtruction were employed to perpetrate mine, and that my [114] real Miſeries were not ſufficient to cruſh me with their Weight, a poor, beggarly Fellow, who had been ſometimes Supernumerary in Drury-Lane Theatre, and Part-writer, forged a moſt villainous Lye; by ſaying, I hired a very ſine Bay Gelding, and borrowed a Pair of Piſtols, to encounter my Father upon Epping-Foreſt; where, I ſolemnly proteſt, I don't know I ever ſaw my Father in my Life: That I ſtopp'd the Chariot, preſented a Piſtol to his Breaſt, and uſed ſuch Terms as I am aſhamed to inſert; threaten'd to blow his Brains out that Moment, if he did not deliver—Upbraiding him for his Cruelty in abandoning me to thoſe Diſtreſſes he knew I underwent, when he had it ſo amply in his Power to relieve me: That ſince he would not uſe that Power, I would force him to a Compliance, and was directly go⯑ing to diſcharge upon him; but his Tears prevented me, and, asking my Pardon for his ill Uſage of me, gave me his Purſe with threeſcore Guineas, and a Promiſe to reſtore me to his Family and Love; on which I thank'd him, and rode off.

A likely Story, that my Father and his Servants were all ſo intimidated, had it been true, as not to have been able to withſtand a ſingle ſtout Highwayman, much more a Fe⯑male, [115] and his own Daughter to! However, the Story ſoon reached my Ear, which did not more enrage me on my own Account, than the impudent, ridiculous Picture the Scoundrel had drawn of my Father, in this ſuppoſed horrid Scene. The Recital threw me into ſuch an agonizing Rage, I did not reco⯑ver it for a Month; but, the next Evening, I had the Satisfaction of being deſignedly placed where this Villain was to be, and, concealed behind a Screen, heard the Lye re-told from his own Mouth.

He had no ſooner ended, than I ruſhed from my Covert, and, being armed with a thick oaken Plant, knocked him down, with⯑out ſpeaking a Word to him; and, had I not been happily prevented ſhould, without the leaſt Remorſe, have killed him on the Spot. I had not Breath enough to enquire into the Cauſe of his barbarous Falſhood, but others, who were leſs concerned than myſelf, did it for me; and the only Reaſon he aſſigned for his ſaying it, was, He meant it as a Joke, which conſiderably added to the Vehemence of my Rage: But I had the Joy of ſeeing him well caned, and obliged to ask my Pardon on his Knees—Poor Satisfaction for ſo manifeſt an Injury!

[116] This is, indeed, the greateſt and moſt no⯑torious Piece of Cruelty that was ever forged againſt me; but 'tis a Privilege Numbers have taken with me, and I have generally found, in ſome Degree or other, my Cauſe revenged, though by myſelf unſought: And 'tis more than morally poſſible, I may live to ſee the Tears of Penitence flow from the Eyes of a yet remaining Enemy, to whoſe Barbarity I am not the only Victim in the Family. But,

If the Perſon I mean was herſelf guiltleſs of Er⯑rors, ſhe might "Stand in ſome Rank of Praiſe" for her Aſſiduity in ſearching out the Faults of others, as it might be reaſonably ſuppoſed the Innocent could never wiſh to be the Au⯑thor of Ill to their Fellow-Creatures, and thoſe eſpecially NEARLY ALLIED IN BLOOD. We have all Realities of Folly to ſufficient to raiſe a Bluſh in thinking Minds, without the barbarous Impoſition of imaginary ones, which I, and others in the Family, have been cruelly branded with. I ſhall only give a Hint to [117] the Lady, which I hope ſhe'll prudently ob⯑ſerve:

I ſhall now give a full Account of, I think, one of the moſt tragical Occurrences of my Life, which but laſt Week happened to me. The Reader may remember, in the Firſt Num⯑ber of my Narrative I made a publick Con⯑feſſion of my Faults; and, pleaſed with the fond Imagination of being reſtored to my Fa⯑ther's Favour, flattered myſelf, ere this Trea⯑tiſe could be ended, to eaſe the Hearts of every humane Breaſt, with an Account of a Recon⯑ciliation.

But how FRUITLESS WAS MY ATTEMPT! I wrote, and have thought it neceſſary, in Juſtification of my own Character, to print the Letter I ſent my Father; who, forgetful of that TENDER NAME, and the GENTLE TIES OF NATURE, returned it me in a blank. Sure that might have been filled up with BLESSING AND PARDON, the only Boon I HOPED FOR, WISHED, OR EX⯑PECTED. [118] Can I then be blamed for ſaying with the expiring Romeo,

This SHOCKING CIRCUMSTANCE! has ſince confined me to my Bed; and has been cruelly aggravated by the terrible Reflection of being empowered to ſay, with Charles in The Fop's Fortune, ‘"I'M SORRY THAT I'VE LOST A FATHER."’

I beg Pardon for this Intruſion on the Rea⯑ders Patience, in offering to their Conſidera⯑tion the following Letter.

[120] When I ſent, as is ſpecified in the Letter, for an Anſwer, I engaged a young Lady, whoſe tender Compaſſion was eaſily moved to be the obliging Meſſenger. She returned, with friendly Expedition, and delivered me my own Epiſtle, encloſed in a Blank, from my Father. By the Alteration of my Coun⯑tenance ſhe too ſoon perceived the ill Succeſs of her Negotiation, and bore a Part in my Diſtreſs.

I found myſelf ſo dreadfully diſconcerted, I grew impatient to leave my Friend, that I might not intrude too far on her Humanity, which I ſaw was ſenſibly affected with my Diſappointment. A Diſappointment indeed! to be denied that from mortal Man which HEAVEN IS WELL PLEAS'D TO BESTOW, WHEN ADDRESS'D WITH SINCERITY AND PENITENCE, EVEN FOR CAPITAL OF⯑FENCES.

The Prodigal, according to Holy Writ, was joyfully received by the offended Father: Nay, MERCY has even extended itſelf at the Place of Execution, to notorious Malefactors; but as I have not been guilty of thoſe Enormities incidental to the foremention'd Characters, permit me, gentle Reader, to demand what I [121] have done ſo hateful! ſo very grievous to his Soul! ſo much beyond the Reach of Pardon! that nothing but MY LIFE COULD MAKE ATTONEMENT? which I can bring Witneſs was a Hazard I was immediately thrown into.

THE SHOCK OF RECEIVING MY OWN LETTER did not excite a ſudden Guſt of unwarrantable Paſſion, but prey'd upon my Heart with the ſlow and eating Fire of Diſtraction and Deſpair, 'till it ended in a Fever, which now remains upon my Spirits; and which, I fear, I ſhall find a difficult Task to overcome.

The late Mr. Lillo's Character of Thorow⯑g [...]od, in his Tragedy of Barnwell, ſets a beautiful Example of Forgiveneſs; where he reaſonably reflects upon the Frailties of Man⯑kind, in a Speech apart from the afflicted and repenting Youth—‘"When we have of⯑fended Heaven, it requires no more; and ſhall Man, who needs himſelf to be for⯑given, be harder to appeaſe?"’—Then, turning to the Boy, confirms his Humanity, by ſaying; ‘"If my Pardon, or my Love be of Moment to your Peace, look up ſecure of both."’

[122] How happy would that laſt Sentence have made me! as the Want of it has abſolutely given me more inexpreſſible Anguiſh, than all the accumulated Sorrows I had known before; being now arrived to an Age of Thinking, and well weighing the Conſequences ariſing from the various Occurences of Life: But this, I fear, will prove the heavieſt and bittereſt Corroſive to my Mind; and the more I reflect on it, find myſelf leſs able to ſupport ſuch an Unkindneſs from that Hand, which, I thought, would have adminiſter'd the gentle Balm of Pity.

I am very certain my Father is to be, in Part, excuſed, as he is too powerfully per⯑ſwaded by his cruel Monitor; who neither does, or ever will, pay the leaſt Regard to any Part of the Family, but herſelf: And though within a Year of Threeſcore purſues her own Intereſt, to the Detriment of others, with the ſame artful Vigilance that might be expected from a young Sharper of Twenty-four. I am certain I have found it ſo, and am too ſure of its Effects from the Hour of my Birth; and my firſt Fault, was being my Father's laſt Born. Even the little Follies of prattling Infancy were, by this Perſon, con⯑ſtrued in Crimes, before I had a more diſ⯑tinguiſhing [123] Senſe than a Kitten. As I grew up, I too ſoon perceived a rancourous Diſpoſi⯑tion towards me, attended with Malice pre⯑penſe, to deſtroy that Power I had in the Hearts of both my Parents, where I was per⯑haps judged to ſit too triumphant, and main⯑tained my Seat of Empire in my Mother's to her lateſt Moments: And, 'tis poſſible, had ſhe lived, my Enemy might not have carried this cruel Point, to prevent what I think I had a natural Right to receive, when I ſo earneſtly implored it.

One Thing I muſt inſert for her Mortifica⯑tion, that my Conſcience is quite ſerene; and, though ſhe won't ſuffer my Father to be in Friendſhip with me, I am perfectly aſſured that I have, in regard to any Offences to⯑wards him, made my Peace with the POWER SUPREME, which neither her Falſhood or artful Malice could deprive me of. 'Tis now my Turn to forgive, as being the injured Per⯑ſon; and, to ſhow her how much I chuſe to become her Superior in Mind, I not only par⯑don, but PITY HER: Though, I fear, ſhe rather purſues the Rules obſerved in the fol⯑lowing Lines;

That I have ſuffered much, is too evi⯑dential; and though I neither propoſed or expected more than what my Letter expreſſes, I hope my Father's Eyes, for the ſake of his Family who are oppreſſed, may be one Day opened. For my Part, I ceaſe to think my⯑ſelf belonging to it; and ſhall conclude this painful Subject with an Aſſurance to my Brother's two Daughters, That I am ſincerely pleaſed they are ſo happily provided for, and hope they will have Gratitude and Prudence enough to preſerve their Grandſire's Bleſſing, and never put it in the Power of artful Trea⯑chery to elbow them out of his Favour, as I have been, and that moſt cruelly.

I remember the laſt Time I ever ſpoke with my Father, a Triumvirate was framed to that End, and I was ſent for from the Play⯑houſe to put this baſe Deſign in Execution. After being baited like a Bull at a Stake, and perceiving they were reſolved to carry their horrid Point againſt me, I grew enraged and obſtinate; and, finding a growing Indignation ſwelling in my Boſom, anſwered nothing to [125] their Purpoſe, which incenſed my Father: Nor can I abſolutely blame him, for 'twas undoubtedly my Duty to ſatisfy any Demand he ſhould think proper to make—But then again, I conſidered that his Judgement was ſufficient to correct the Errors of my Mind, without the inſolent Aſſiſtance of thoſe, whoſe wicked Hearts were fraught with my Ruin.

My Father, having been worked up to a ſtrong Fit of Impatience, haſtily quitted his Houſe, with a Declaration not to return to it, 'till I was gone. This, I am too well aſſured,

I ſtaid a few Moments after him, when ſhe, who was once my eldeſt Siſter, was pleaſed to ask the reſt of her Colleagues, if they had done with me; who anſwering in the Affirma⯑tive, in a peremptory Manner turned me out of Doors.

I was then married, and had been ſo near four Years, therefore did not conceive that any one had a Right to treat me like a Child, and could not eaſily brook being forced into a Submiſſion of that Nature. But the main Deſign was to deprive me of a Birth-right—and they have done it; for which, in Obedi⯑ence [126] to the Laws Divine, I beſeech Heaven to forgive them, and bring them to Repentance, ere it is too late.—And let Goneril take Care, ſhe has found a Brace of Cordelia's in the Family; which, that they may ever con⯑tinue, is my heartieſt Wiſh and earneſt Prayer. Nor would I have the poor Children think, becauſe they are made happy, that I envy them the Advantages they poſſeſs. No! ſo far from it, I am rather delighted than diſ⯑pleaſed, as it convinces me my Father has yet ſome Power over himſelf; and, though deaf to me, has liſtened to the tender Call of Mercy, by a ſeaſonable Protection of their Youth and Innocence.

I apprehend I ſhall be called in Queſtion for my Inability, in conveying Ideas of the Paſſions which moſt tenderly affect the Heart, by ſo often having Recourſe to abler Pens than my own, by my frequent Quotations; but, in Anſwer to that, I muſt beg to be ex⯑cuſed, and alſo juſtified, as mine and others Griefs were more ſtrongly painted, by thoſe Authors I have made bold with, than was in the Power of my weak Capacity. I thought there was greater Judgment in ſuch References, than in vainly attempting to blunder out my Diſtreſs; and poſſibly, by that Means, tire the Reader in the Peruſal.

[127] As I have finiſh'd my tragical Narration, I ſhall return to the Town, where I was honour'd with the young Lady's Regard. Our Departure from thence happened ſoon after, and Kings, Queens, Lords and Com⯑mons, were all toſs'd up in an undiſtinguiſhed Bundle from that Place; and, like Sarron's Itinerants, eſcorted to another in a Cart.

As my unlucky Stars were ever employed in working on the Anvil of Misfortune, I, unknowingly, took a Lodging in a Bailiff's Houſe, though not as Clodio did, who had three Writs againſt him; but I was not ab⯑ſolutely certain how long it might be, ere ſo terrible a Cataſtrophe might be the Caſe, being then but ten Miles from London, and every Hour of my Life liable to be ſeen by ſome Air-taking Tradeſman, to whom, 'twas twenty to one, I might be indebted.

Under ſuch a Circumſtance as this, to be ſure, I paſs'd my Time mighty pleaſingly! but that I might be delivered of the Anxiety and conſtant Fears that attended me, I perſwaded our Manager (who was under the ſame un⯑fortunate Circumſtance) there was, to my certain Knowledge, a Writ iſſued out againſt him, with which he was ſoon alarmed; and, [128] in order to elude the Hunters, ſuddenly took away his Company by Night.

I own this was a baſe Trick, to deprive the Town of the infinite Pleaſure they muſt have received from the incomparable Re⯑preſentations of our ſonorous Collection; who, if Noiſe could plead any Claim to Merit, they were undoubtedly the greateſt Proficients of the Age. I have often wondered, that theſe bawling Heroes do not as tenderly com⯑paſſionate their Brains, as the Retailers of Flounders in London Streets, by an Applica⯑tion of their Hand to one Ear, to preſerve the Drum by that neceſſary Caution.

However, away we went; and, to the great Surprize of the Inhabitants of the next Place we adventur'd to, about Six o'Clock on a Sunday Morning we made our Entry, and beſieged the Town; but, as our Commander was one of a moſt intrepid Aſſurance, he ſoon fram'd ſome political Excuſes for the Unſeaſonableneſs both of the Hour and Day. The Landſord, who happened luckily for us to be an indolent, good-natur'd Man, ſeeing ſo large a Company, and ſuch Boxes full of NOTHING, come into his Houſe, eaſily diſpenſed with the Oddity of our Arrival, and called out luſtily for his Maid and [129] Daughter to ſet on the great Pot for the Buttock of Beef, and to make a fine Fire to roaſt the Loin of Veal. He alſo ordered the Oſtler to help up with the Boxes, which, I own, were weighty; but, I believe, the chief of the Burden conſiſted of ſcabbardleſs, ruſty Swords, and departed Mopſticks, tranſmigrated into Tragedy Truncheons.

For the firſt Week, we lived like thoſe imaginary Sons of Kings we frequently re⯑preſented; but, at length, we play'd a Night or two, and no Money coming, upon Enquiry what was for Dinner, the good Hoſt, with an altered Countenance, ſignified he thought 'twould be better for us to find our own Pro⯑viſion; and apprehending 'twould not do, he adviſed us to make one good Houſe to pay him, and march off: Upon which one, whoſe Appetite was extreamly keen, diſcovered a ſudden Paleneſs; another, enraged at the Diſ⯑appointment, and feeling the ſame Demands from Nature, though not equally paſſive in his Diſpoſition, thundered out a Volley of Oaths, with the Addition of terrible Threats to leave the Houſe; which the Landlord would have been well pleaſed had he put in Force, and, with a calm Contempt, ſignified as much.

[130] As I had a Child to ſupport, as well as my unfortunate Self, I thought it highly proper to become a friendly Mediator between theſe two Perſons, and very judiciouſly in⯑troduced myſelf into farther Credit, by en⯑deavouring to palliate the Matter: But the inſenſible Puppy, paying more Regard to his offended Honour than his craving Appetite, ſcolded himſelf out of the Houſe; and my Daughter and I were continued, by my prudently preſerving THE GENTLEMAN, inſtead of launching into the barbarous Enormities of the BILLINGSGATE HERO.

Buſineſs continuing very ſhocking, I really was aſhamed to preſume any longer on the partial Regard paid to me by the injur'd Man; and, at laſt, propoſed his uſing his Intereſt to put off as many Tickets as he poſſibly could, in order to make up the ſeveral De⯑ficiencies of the Company. This Propoſition was kindly accepted, and he ſoon diſperſed a ſufficient Number of Tickets to defray all Charges, with many Acknowledgements to me for the Hint; and, that I might not run the Hazard of loſing the Reputation I had gain'd, I ſet off the Day after, well knowing that a [131] ſecond Misfortune of this Nature would not have ſo happy an End.

With a ſolitary Shilling I went to London, and took a Lodging in about two Hours after⯑wards at a private Houſe, in Little Turn⯑ſtile, Holborn; but being ſoon enquired after by another Manager, ſet out from London for Dartford, about Three o'Clock in the After⯑noon on Foot, in a dreadful Shower of Rain, and reached the Town by Eight in the Even⯑ing.

I play'd that Night, for 'tis loſing their Charter to begin before Nine or Ten; but my Pumps being thin, and the Rain extream heavy, I contracted ſuch a Hoarſeneſs I was the Day following turn'd off with Half a Crown, and rendered incapable. An excellent Demonſtra⯑tion of the Humanity of thoſe low-lived Wretches! who have no farther Regard to the Perſons they employ, but while they are immediately ſerving 'em; and look upon Players like Pack-Horſes, though they live by 'em.

When I got to London, I had, on Ac⯑count of my Hoarſeneſs, no View of getting my Bread, as 'twas impoſſible to hear me ſpeak without a cloſe Application of an Ear [132] to my Mouth. I was then reduced to the Neceſſity of pledging, from Day to Day, either my own or Child's Cloaths for our Support; and we were ſtripp'd to even but a bare Change to keep us decently clean, by the Time I began to recover my Voice.

As ſoon as I was capable of ſpeaking to be heard, I took a ſecond Owl-light Opportunity to ſeek for Buſineſs, and happily ſucceeded in my Endeavour; and as from Evil often un⯑expected Good ariſes, ſo did it then to me. I went to play a Part in Gravel-Lane, where I met with a Woman, who told me ſhe had Scenes and Cloaths in LIMBO for two Guineas; and, if I could propoſe any Means for their Redemption, ſhe would make me Manager of her Company, if I thought fit to ſet out with her. I aſſured her, ſo far from raiſing two Guineas, I really did not know where to levy as many Pence; but, in the Night, contemplating on my hapleſs Fate, I recollected a Friend that I be⯑lieved would, on Trial, oblige me with that Sum.

To ſtrengthen my Cauſe, I wrote a Letter as from a Spunging-Houſe, and ſent one of the Performers, who had extreamly the Air of a Bomb-Bailiff, to repreſent that Character. [133] My Friend, moved at my ſuppoſed Diſtreſs, directly granted my Suit; the Goods were redeemed, and the next Morning we ſet ſail, with a few Hands, for Graveſend.

For about a Month we got, one Week with another, a Guinea each Perſon; from thence we proceeded to Harwich, where we met with equal Succeſs for three Weeks more: But unfortunately the Managereſs's Husband, who was no Member of the Company, was under Sentence of Tranſportation in Newgate, and ſhe being frequently obliged to pay her Devoirs to her departing Spouſe in the diſmal Caſtle of Diſtreſs, we broke up, and I re⯑turned to London.

My projecting Brain was forced again to ſet itſelf to work, to find freſh Means of Subſiſtance; but, for ſome time, its Labours were ineffectual, 'till even the laſt Thread of Invention was worn out. At laſt I re⯑ſolved to pay circular Viſits to my good-natur'd Friends, who redeemed me from the Jaws of Deſtruction, when under Confinement in Jackſon's-Alley. I thought the beſt Ex⯑cuſe I could make for becoming ſo importunate, was to fix it on a Point of Gratitude, in taking the earlieſt Opportunity my Circumſtances would admit of, to return my ſincereſt Thanks [134] for ſo infinite an Obligation; and, after having ſtarved all Day, by the friendly Aſſiſtance of the Night, I adventured, and was, by each Perſon in my ſeveral Viſits, kindly received, and conſtantly ſent Home with a Means to ſubſiſt for ſometimes a Day or two; which, as my Circumſtances ſtood, was no ſmall Comfort to one who proceeded in paralytick Order, upon every Excurſion.

Among the diſtreſsful Evening Patroles I made, I one Evening paid my Brother a Viſit, who kindly compaſſionated my Sor⯑row, and clapping Half a Crown in my Hand, earneſtly enjoyned me to dine next Day with him at a Friend's Houſe; who, he knew, had a natural Tendency to Acts of Humanity, and conceived would, in a genteel Manner, be ſerviceable to me. His good-natur'd Deſign had the deſired Effect; and, in leſs than three Days I was, by my Brother's Friend, introduced to L—d A—a, who wanted a Gentleman, (being newly come from I—d) and nice in regard to the Per⯑ſon he intended for that Office. One well-bred, and who could ſpeak French, were two ne⯑ceſſary Articles; upon which, Mention was made of me, and an open Declaration who I really was, with a piteous Account of my Misfortunes; which his Lordſhip very tender⯑ly [135] conſidered, and received me upon the Re⯑commendation of my Brother's Friend.

The Day following I entered into my new Office, which made me the ſuperior Domeſtick in the Family. I had my own Table, with a Bottle of Wine, and any ſingle Diſh I choſe for myſelf, extra of what came from my Lord's, and a Guinea paid me every Wedneſday Morning, that being the Day of the Week on which I entered into his Lord⯑ſhip's Service.

At this Time, my Lord kept in the Houſe with him a Fille de Joye. Though no great Beauty, yet infinitely agreeable, (a Native of Ireland) remarkably genteel and finely ſhaped; and a ſenſible Woman, whoſe Underſtanding was embelliſhed by a Fund of good Nature.

When there was any extraordinary Company, I had the Favour of the Lady's at my Table; but, when there was no Company at all, his Lordſhip permitted me to make a third Perſon at his, and very good-naturedly obliged me to throw off the Reſtraint of Behaviour incidental to the Servant, and aſſume that of the humble Friend and chearful Companion. Many agreeable Evenings I paſſed in this Manner; and, when Bed-time approached, I took Leave [136] and went Home to my own Lodgings; at⯑tending the next Morning at Nine, my appointed Hour.

I marched every Day through the Streets with Eaſe and Security, having his Lordſhip's Protection, and proud to cock my Hat in the Face of the beſt of the Bailiffs, and ſhake Hands with them into the Bargain. In this State of Tranquility I remained for about five Weeks; when, as the Devil would have it, there came two ſupercilious Coxcombs, who, wanting Diſcourſe and Humanity, hear⯑ing that I was his Lordſhip's Gentleman, made me their unhappy Theme, and took the Liberty to arraign his Underſtanding for en⯑tertaining one of an improper Sex in a Poſt of that Sort. His Lordſhip's Argument was, for a conſiderable Time, ſupported by the Strength of his Pity for an unfortunate Wretch, who had never given him the leaſt Offence: But the pragmatical Block⯑heads teized him at laſt into a Reſolution of diſcharging me the next Day, and I was once again reduced to my Scenes of Sorrow and Deſolation.

I muſt do Juſtice to the Peer, to confeſs he did not ſend me away empty handed; but ſo ſmall a Pittance as he was pleaſed to beſtow, [137] was little more than a momentary Support for myſelf and Child. When my ſmall Stock was exhauſted, I was moſt terribly puzzled for a Recruit.

Friendſhip began to cool! Shame encom⯑paſſed me! that where I had the ſmalleſt Hope of Redreſs remaining, I had not Cou⯑rage ſufficient to make an Attack. In ſhort, Life became a Burden to me, and I began to think it no Sin not only to WISH, but even DESIRE to die. When Poverty throws us beyond the Reach of Pity, I can compare our Beings to nothing ſo adaptly, as the comfort⯑leſs Array of tattered Garments in a froſty Morning.

But Providence, who has ever been my Friend and kind Director, as I was in one of my Fits of Deſpondency, ſuddenly gave a Check to that Error of my Mind, and wrought in me a Reſolution of making a bold Puſh; which had but two Chances, either for my Happineſs or Deſtruction—Which is as follows.

I took a neat Lodging in a Street facing Red-Lyon-Square, and wrote a Letter to Mr. Beard, intimating to him the ſorrowful Plight I was in; and, in a Quarter of an [138] Hour after, my Requeſt was moſt obligingly complied with by that worthy Gentleman, whoſe Bounty enabled me to ſet forward to Newgate-Market, and bought a conſiderable Quantity of Pork at the beſt Hand, which I converted into Sauſages, and with my Daugh⯑ter ſet out, laden with each a Burden as weighty as we could well bear; which, not having been uſed to Luggages of that Nature, we found extreamly troubleſome: But Neceſ⯑ſitas non habeat Leges—We were bound to that, or ſtarve.

Thank Heaven, our Loads were like Aeſop's when he choſe to carry the Bread, which was the weightieſt Burden, to the Aſtoniſhment of his Fellow-Travellers; not conſidering that his Wiſdom preferred it, be⯑cauſe he was ſure it would lighten as it went: So did ours, for as I went only where I was known, I ſoon diſpoſed, among my Friends, of my whole Cargo; and was happy in the Thought, that the utmoſt Exceſſes of my Misfortunes had no worſe Effect on me, than an induſtrious and honeſt Inclination to get a ſmall Livelihood, without Shame or Re⯑proach: Though the Arch-Dutcheſs of our Family, who would not have relieved me with a Half-penny Roll or a Draught of Small-Beer, imputed this to me as a Crime.

[139] I ſuppoſe ſhe was poſſeſſed with the ſame dignified Sentiments Mrs. Peachum is endow⯑ed with, and THOUGHT THE HONOUR OF THEIR FAMILY WAS CONCERNED: If ſo, ſhe knew the way to have prevented the Diſ⯑grace, and in a humane, juſtifiable Manner, have preſerved her own from that Taint of Cruelty I doubt ſhe will never overcome.

My being in Breeches was alledged to me as a very great Error, but the original Motive proceeded from a particular Cauſe; and I ra⯑ther chuſe to undergo the worſt Imputation that can be laid on me on that Account, than unravel the Secret, which is an Appendix to one I am bound, as I before hinted, by all the Vows of Truth and Honour everlaſtingly to conceal.

For ſome Time I ſubſiſted as a Higgler, with tolerable Succeſs; and, inſtead of being deſpiſed by thoſe who had ſerved me in my utmoſt Exigencies, I was rather applauded. Some were tender enough to mingle their pitying Tears, with their Approbation of my endeavouring at an honeſt Livelihood, as I did not proſtitute my Perſon, or uſe any other indirect Means for Support, that might [140] have brought me to Contempt and Diſ⯑grace.

Misfortunes, to which all are liable, are too often the Parents of Forgetfulneſs and Diſregard in thoſe we have, in happier Times, obliged. Too ſure I found it ſo! for I could name many Perſons, who are ſtill in Being, that I have both clothed and fed, who have ſince met with Succeſs; but when ſtrong Ne⯑ceſſity reduced me to an Attempt of uſing their Friendſhip, ſcarce afforded me a civil Anſwer, which cloſed in an abſolute Denial, and conſequently the Sting of Diſappointment on ſuch Occaſions ſtruck the deeper to my Heart: Though none ſo poignant, as the Re⯑buffs I met with from thoſe who ought, in regard to themſelves, to have prevented my being under ſuch univerſal Obligations; but, inſtead of acting agreeable to the needful Sen⯑timents of Compaſſion and ſorrowful Regret, for the Sufferings of a near Relation, where a villainous Odium could not be thrown a ridi⯑culous one was ſure to be caſt, even on the innocent Actions of my Life.

Upon being met with a Hare in my Hand, carried by Order to the Peer I had then lately lived with, this ſingle Creature was enume⯑rated [141] into a long Pole of Rabbits; and 'twas affirmed as a Truth, that I made it my daily Practice to cry them about the Streets.

This Falſhood was ſucceeded by another, that of my ſelling Fiſh, an Article I never thought of dealing in; but notwithſtanding, the wicked Forger of this Story poſitively de⯑clared, that I was ſelling ſome Flounders one Day, and, ſeeing my Father, ſtept moſt au⯑daciouſly up to him, and ſlapt one of the largeſt I had full in his Face. Who, that has common Senſes, could be ſo credulous to re⯑ceive the leaſt Impreſſion from ſo inconſiſtent a Tale; or that, if it had been true, if I had eſcaped my Father's Rage, the Mob would not, with ſtricteſt Juſtice, have pre⯑vented my ſurviving ſuch an unparallel'd Villainy one Moment?

I always thought myſelf unaccountable enough in Reality, to excite the various Paſſions of Grief and Anger, Pity or Con⯑tempt, without unneceſſary additional Falſ⯑hoods to aggravate my Miſdeeds. I own I was obliged, 'till ſeiz'd with a Fever, to trudge from one Acquaintance to another with Pork and Poultry, but never had the Honour of being a Travelling-fiſhmonger, nor the [142] Villainy of being guilty of that infamous Crime I was inhumanly charged with.

When I was brought ſo low, by my Illneſs, as to be diſempowered to carry on my Buſineſs myſelf, I was forced to depend upon the in⯑fant Induſtry of my poor Child; whoſe Strength was not able to bear an equal Share of Fatigue, ſo that I conſequently was obliged to ſuffer a conſiderable Deficiency, by the Neglect of my Cuſtomers: And though I could ſcarce afford myſelf the leaſt Indulgence, in regard to my Illneſs, I found, though in a trifling Degree, it largely incroached upon my ſlender Finances, ſo that I was reduced to my laſt three Pounds of Pork, nicely prepared for Sauſages, and left it on the Table covered up. As I was upon Recovery, I took it in my Head a little freſh Air would not be amiſs, and ſet forth into Red-Lyon-Fields: But, on my Return, OH! DISASTROUS CHANCE! a hungry Cur had moſt ſavagely entered my Apartment, confounded my Cookery, and moſt inconſiderately devoured my remaining Stock, and, from that Hour, a Bankruptcy enſued! the Certificate of which was ſigned, by the Woefulneſs of my Countenance at the horrid View.

[143] The Child and I gap'd and ſtar'd at each other; and, with a Deſpondency in our Faces, very natural on ſo deplorable an Occaſion, we ſat down and ſilently conceived that ſtarving muſt be the ſad Event of this ſhocking Ac⯑cident, having at that Time neither Meat, Money, nor Friends. My Week's Lodging was up the next Day, and I was very ſure of a conſtant Viſit from my careful Landlord, but how to anſwer him was a puzzling Debate between me and myſelf; and I was very well aſſured, could only be anſwered but by an Affirmative in that Point.

After having ſighed away my Senſes for my departed Pork, I began to conſider that Sorrow would not retrieve my Loſs, or pay my Landlord; and without really knowing where to go, or to whom I ſhould apply, I walked out 'till I ſhould either meet an Ac⯑quaintance, or be inſpired with ſome Thought that might happily draw off the Scene of Diſtreſs I was then immers'd in.

Luckily, I met with an old Gentlewoman whom I had not ſeen many Years, and who knew me when I was a Child. She, per⯑ceiving Sadneſs in my Aſpect, enquired into the Cauſe of that, and my being in Mens [144] Cloaths; which, as far as I thought proper, I informed her. When we parted, ſhe ſlipt Five Shillings into my Hand; on which I thankfully took Leave, went Home with a chearful Heart, paid my Lodging off next Morning, and quitted it.

The next Vexation that aroſe, was how to get another; for the Child was too young to be ſent on ſuch an Errand, and I did not dare to make my Appearance too openly: How⯑ever, that Grief was ſoon ſolved by the good Nature of a young Woman, who gave a friendly Invitation to us both; and, though not in the higheſt Affluence, ſupported myſelf and Child for ſome Time, without any View or Hopes of a Return, which has ſince eſtabliſh⯑ed a laſting Friendſhip between us, as I re⯑ceived more Humanity from her Indigence, than I could obtain even a Glimpſe of from thoſe, whoſe FORTUNES I had a more ample Right to expect a Relief from.

I had not been many Days with my Friend before I relapſed, my Fever encreaſing to that Degree my Death was hourly expected; and, being deprived of my Senſes, was left with⯑out Means of Help in this unhappy Situation, and, had it not been for the extenſive Good⯑neſs of the Perſon before-mentioned, my [145] Child muſt have either begged her Bread, or periſhed for the Want of it.

When I was capable of giving a rational Anſwer, ſhe was my firſt Care; and I had, in the Midſt of this Extremity, the pleaſing Relief of being informed, my Friend's Hu⯑manity had protected her from that Diſtreſs I apprehended ſhe muſt have otherwiſe ſuffer⯑ed, from the Severity of my Illneſs. I was incapable of writing, and therefore ſent a verbal Meſſage, by my good Friend, to my Lord A—a; who ſent me a Piece of Gold, and expreſſed a tender Concern for my Misfor⯑tunes and violent Indiſpoſition.

As ſoon as I was able to crawl, I went to pay my Duty there, and was again relieved through his Bounty; and might have returned to my Place, 'till ſomething elſe had fallen out, but that his Lordſhip was obliged to go ſuddenly out of England, which, as I had a Child, was not ſuitable to either him or me.

Mr. Yeates's New Wells being open, and he having Occaſion for a Singer in the Se⯑rious Part of an Entertainment, called, Jupi⯑ter and Alomena, I was ſent for to be his Mercury; and, by the Time that was ready [146] for Exhibition, I began to be tolerably re⯑covered: And a Miracle indeed it was, that I overcame a dreadful Spotted-Fever, without the Help of Advice. Nor had I any Re⯑medy applied, except an Emetick, preſcribed and ſent me by my Siſter Marples, who was the only Relation I had that took any Notice of me.

As I have no Power of making her Amends, equal to my Inclinations, I can only entreat the Favour of my Acquaintance in ge⯑neral, and thoſe whom I have not the Plea⯑ſure of knowing, whenever 'tis convenient and agreeable for them to uſe a neat, well⯑accommodated Houſe of Entertainment, they will fix a laſting Obligation on me by going to her's, which ſhe opened laſt Thurſday, the 20th Inſtant, in Fullwood's-Rent, near Gray's-Inn: Where they will be certain of Fleſh, Fiſh and Poultry, dreſſed in an elegant Manner, at reaſonable Rates; good Wines, &c. and a Politeneſs of Behaviour agreeable to the Gentlewo⯑man; whoſe hard Struggles, through Seas of undeſerved Misfortunes, will, I hope, be a Claim to that Regard I am certain ſhe de⯑ſerves, and will, wherever ſhe finds it, moſt gratefully acknowledge.

[147] For ſome few Months I was employed, as before-mentioned, 'till Bartholomew Fair; and, as I thought 'twould be more advan⯑tageous to me to be there, obtained Leave of Mr. Yeates to quit the Wells for the four Days, and returned to him at the Expiration thereof.

The Rumour of my being in Buſineſs having ſpread itſelf among my Creditors, I was obliged to decamp; being too well aſ⯑ſured my ſmall Revenue, which was but juſt ſufficient to buy Bread and Cheefe, would not protect me from a Jail, or ſatisfy their De⯑mands. Had not my Neceſſities been preſſing, my Service would not have been purchaſed at ſo cheap a Rate; but thought I muſt have been everlaſtingly condemned, had I, through Pride, been ſo repugnant to the Laws of Na⯑ture, Reaſon and maternal Love, as to have rejected, with inſolent Scorn, this ſcanty Main⯑tainance, when I was conſcious I had not Six-pence in the World to purchaſe a Loaf. I therefore found it highly neceſſary to ſet apart the Remembrance of what I had been, "I THEN WAS WHAT I HAD MADE MY⯑SELF;" [148] And, conſequently, obliged to ſubmit to every Inconvenience of Life my Misfortunes could poſſibly involve me in.

The Amount of all I owed in the World did not ariſe to Five and Twenty Pounds, but I was as much perplexed for that Sum as if it had been as many Thouſands. In order to ſe⯑cure my Perſon and defend myſelf from Want, I joined with a Man who was a Maſter of Legerdemain; but, on my entering on an Agreement with him, he commenced Mana⯑ger, and we tragedized in a Place called Pet⯑ticoat-Lane, near White-Chapel; I then taking on me THAT DARLING NAME OF BROWN, which was a very great Help to my Conceal⯑ment, and indeed the only ADVANTAGE I EVER RECEIVED FROM IT, OR THOSE WHO HAVE A BETTER CLAIM TO IT.

But to my Purpoſe. I ſoon grew tired of leading ſuch a Life of Fear, and reſolved to make Trial of the Friendſhip of my late Un⯑cle, and wrote a melancholly Epiſtle to him; earneſtly imploring his Aſſiſtance, for the ſake of his deceaſed Siſter (my dear Mother) to give me as much Money as would be neceſſary to ſet me up in a Publick Houſe. I told him, I would not put it upon the Foot of borrowing, as 'twas ten Millions to one whe⯑ther [149] he might ever be repaid; and, in Caſe of Failure of a Promiſe of that Nature, I knew I muſt of Courſe be ſubject to his Diſ⯑pleaſure, therefore fairly deſired him to make it a Gift, if he thought my Circumſtances worthy his Conſideration; which, to do him Juſtice, indeed he did, and ordered me to take a Houſe directly, that he might be aſ⯑ſured of the Sincerity of my Intention.

I obeyed his Commands the next Day, and, as I have been in a Hurry from the Hour of my Birth, precipitately took the firſt Houſe where I ſaw a Bill, and which, unfortunately for me, was in Drury-Lane, that had been moſt irregularly and indecently kept by the laſt Incumbent, who was a celebrated Dealer in murdered Reputations, Wholeſale and Re⯑tale.

This I, through a natural Inadvertency, never conſidered, nor what ill Conſequences muſt reaſonably attend ſo imprudent a Choice of my Situation. Choice I can't properly call it, for I really did not give myſelf Time to make one, 'twas ſufficient that I had a Houſe; and rattled away, as faſt as a Pair of Horſes could gallop, to inform my Uncle how charmingly I was fixed.

[150] He, according to his Word, gave me a Bank-Note directly, and a Sum of Money in Gold beſides. Providence was merciful enough to afford me a decent Quantity of Patience to ſtay long enough to thank him, in that re⯑ſpectful Manner which Duty obliged me to, and his Bounty truly deſerved; but, I remem⯑ber, as ſoon as I got into the Coach, I began to think the Happineſs I then enjoyed to be too great, and too ſubſtantial to be true.

Having been ſo long the Slave of Miſery! and Child of Sorrow! it appeared to me like a Dream; and I was in Nell Jobſon's Condi⯑tion on that Score, who never wiſhed, from a Surmiſe of exactly the ſame Kind, ever to wake again. I had not Patience to go Home, but ſtopped at a Tavern to count my Money; and read my Note as often, I believe, as there were Shillings in every ſeparate Pound, 'till o' my Conſcience I had enumerated every Shilling, in Imagination, to a Pound.

The firſt Thing I did, was to haſten to my principal Creditor, who, by the Bye, had iſſued out a Writ againſt me a Month before, but was, through a fruitleſs Search, obliged to drop his Action; though really the Man was ſo good-natured, as to hope I would con⯑ſider [151] the Expences he had been at on that Ac⯑count, and that not finding me had put him to a ſupernumerary Charge, which I was un⯑doubtedly ſtrangely obliged to him for! As a Proof how much I thought myſelf ſo, I begged the Favour of him to give me a Re⯑ceipt for the Money, and when he could pre⯑vail upon a reprieved Criminal to pay for the erecting of Tyburn Tree, becauſe he was not hanged there, he ſhould be perfectly aſſured of all Coſts he had been at, in tenderly endea⯑vouring to confine me in a Priſon.

The Chap, I believe, was glad of his Money, but curſedly vexed he had not ſtaid 'till the Report of an Amendment of my Circumſtances, which would have run me to an equal Expence of the Debt, thro' the unneceſſary Charges the dear Man would have put me to.

When I had given this ‘"CERBERUS A SOP,"’ I flew, with impatient Joy, to all the Brokers in Town, to buy my Houſ⯑hold Furniture, gave the asking Price for every Thing I bought, and, in leſs than three Hours, my Houſe was thoughtleſsly furniſhed, with many Things I had no real Occaſion for.

[152] I dare anſwer for it, that ſome delicate old Maid or prudent Wife, will bleſs themſelves at this ſtrange Recital; and, with vacant, up-lifted Eyes, thank Heaven I was no Re⯑lation of theirs: That they did not wonder ſuch an inconſiderate Wretch ſhould be ſo unhappy! When, poor Devils! the ſame Fate would have drawn equal Incumbrances upon their Gravities, and perhaps without the Advantage of Spirits to ſurmount them, as I have done; for which,

THANK HEAVEN ALONE.

I hope, as I have been often DESERVEDLY, and ſometimes UNDESERVEDLY the Motive of Laughter in others, I may be allowed to come in for my Share; and beg Leave to inform the Town, That I can as heartily join with them in that Reſpect as they could wiſh, and more than they may probably expect.

But this Affair was attended with ſuch nu⯑merous UNACCOUNTABLE Proceedings, i can't blame any Body for being thrown into a ſpeechleſs Aſtoniſhment. As for Ex⯑ample—As ſoon as I had cluttered an un⯑diſtinguiſhable Parcel of Goods into my [153] Houſe, which was after the Hour of Five in the Evening, I reſolved to lie there that Night. Beds were to be put up, and every Thing ranged in proper Order. By the Time theſe Matters were accompliſhed, I was forced to forgoe my Reſolution of ſleeping there that Night, it being near Six in the Morn⯑ing before I could advance to my Repoſitory: Where, when I was imagined to take my Reſt, my impatient and elevated Spirits would not let me continue 'till the reaſonable Hour of riſing throughout the Neighbourhood; but, through Exceſs of Joy, I aroſe, and con⯑trived freſh Means to unlade me of Part of the Treaſure my Uncle had poſſeſſed me of.

I dare venture to affirm, I had not been two Days and a Half in the Houſe before 'twas open'd; and, as is cuſtomary on ſuch Oc⯑caſions, gave away an Infinity of Ham, Beef and Veal, to every Soul who came and call'd for a Quart of Beer, or a ſingle Glaſs of Brandy. The Faces of many of them I never ſaw before or ſince; but was, from the Number of People that came the firſt Day, fully convinced, that I ſhould carry on a roaring Trade: Though I afterwards found, I had ſucceſsfully run myſelf out very near ſeven Pounds, in leſs than twenty-four Hours, to acquire, nothing at all.

[154] The next great Help I had towards getting an Eſtate, was the Happineſs of the unprofit⯑able Cuſtom of ſeveral Strolling-Actors, who were unfortunately out of Buſineſs; and, tho' they had no Money, I thought it incumbent on me, as they ſtil'd themſelves Comedians, to credit them 'till they got ſomething to do: Not conſidering, when that happened, they might in all Probability be many ſcore Miles out of my Reach, which indeed proved to be the very Caſe.

Another Expedient, towards the making my Fortune, was letting three ſeveral Rooms to as many different Perſons, but in Principle were all alike, and conjunctive in the Per⯑petration of my Deſtruction, which I ſhall define in few Words. One of the Party has very narrowly eſcaped hanging, more from Dint of Mercy than Deſert: Another re⯑duced to common Beggary, and lying on Bulks; being ſo notorious a Pilferer, as to be refuſed Admittance into the moſt abject, tottering Tenement in or about St. Giles's: And the third is tranſported for Life.

Very unfortunately for me the Water was laid into my Cellar, and I having no Deſign of doing Injuries, ſuſpected none; but found, [155] too late, that my Tap had run faſter than the Water-Cock, and my Beer carried in Pails to the two Pair of Stairs and Garrets, which too frequently ſet the Houſe in an Uproar, as the Gentry, at poor Pilgarlick's Expence, got themſelves exceſſive drunk, and conſtantly quarrell'd: Inſomuch, that they began at length to impeach one another, by diſtant Hints and Winks; aſſuring me, that they believed 'twould be very proper to obſerve Mrs. Such-a-one, when ſhe went about the Houſe, what ſhe carried up Stairs. Preſently the Perſon of whom I was warned would come to me, and give the ſame Caution of the other; and, in Half an Hour's Time, the Husbands of theſe People would come and do the ſame by each other.

Theſe Hints made me begin to be a little peery, and reſolved to look round the Houſe to ſee if any Thing was miſſing: In ſhort, they had taken violent Fancies to my very Candleſticks and Sauce-pans, my Pewter terribly ſhrunk, and my Coals daily diminiſh⯑ed, from the ſame Opportunity they had in conveying off my Beer; and, as I kept an Eating-Houſe alſo, there was very often a Hue and Cry after an imaginary Dog, that had run away with three Parts of a Joint of Meat.

[156] As my Stock was thus daily and cruelly impaired, conſequently my Profits were not able to make up for the horrid Deficiency; and, as I did not dare to make a ſecond Attempt on my Uncle, I prudently reſolved to throw up my Houſe, before I run myſelf into ſuch In⯑conveniencies, by endeavouring to keep it, I might not eaſily have overcome: So ſuddenly diſrob'd my own Apartments of their Furni⯑ture, and quitted 'em, on which the thieving Crew were then obliged to diſperſe, being de⯑prived of all future Hopes of making me thus inhumanly their Prey.

I muſt beg Pardon of the Reader for omitting a Circumſtance, that happened about a Year before I was thus intendedly ſettled by my Uncle. Being, as I frequently was, in great Diſtreſs, I went to ſee a Perſon who knew me from my Childhood, and though not in a Capacity of ſerving me beyond their good Wiſhes and Advice, did their utmoſt to convince me, as far as that extended, how much they had it at Heart to ſerve me; and, upon Enquiry into what Means I propoſed for a Subſiſtance, I gave the good Woman to underſtand there was nothing, which did not exceed the Bounds of Honeſty, that I ſhould think unworthy of my undertaking: That I [157] had been ſo innur'd to Hardſhips of the Mind, I ſhould think thoſe of the Body rather a kind Relief, if they would afford but daily Bread for my poor Child and Self.

The Woman herſelf knew who I was, but her Husband was an entire Stranger, to whom ſhe introduced me as a young Gentleman of a decay'd Fortune; and, after apoligizing for Half an Hour, propoſed to her Spouſe to get me the Waiter's Place, which was juſt vacant, at one Mrs. Dorr's, who formerly kept the King's-Head, at Mary-la-Bonne.

I thankfully accepted the Offer, and went the next Morning to wait on the Gentlewoman, introduced by my Friend's Husband, and neither he or Mrs. Dorr in the leaſt ſuſ⯑pected who I was. She was pleaſed to tell me, ſhe liked me on my firſt Appearance; but was fearful, as ſhe underſtood I was well born and bred, that her Service would be too hard for me. Perceiving me to wear a melan⯑cholly Aſpect, tenderly admoniſhed me to ſeek out for ſome leſs robuſt Employment, as ſhe conjectur'd that I ſhould naturally lay to Heart the Impertinence I muſt frequently be liable to, from the lower Claſs of People; who, when in their Cups, pay no Regard either to Humanity or good Manners.

[158] I began to be Half afraid, her Concern would make her talk me from my Purpoſe; and, not knowing which Way to diſpoſe of myſelf, begg'd her not to be under the leaſt Apprehenſions of my receiving any Shock on that Account: That notwithſtanding I was not born to Servitude, ſince Misfortunes had reduced me to it, I thought it a Degree of Happineſs, that a miſtaken Pride had not fooliſhly poſſeſſed me with a Contempt of getting an honeſt Livelihood, and chuſing rather to periſh by haughty Penury, than prudently endeavour to forget what I had been, and patiently ſubmit to the Severities of Fortune; which, at that Time, was not in my Power to amend.

To be ſhort, the Gentlewoman bore ſo large a Share in my Affliction, ſhe manifeſted her Concern by a hearty Shower of Tears; and, as ſhe found I was anxious for a Proviſion with her, we agreed, and the next Day I went to my Place: But when I informed her I had a Daughter about ten Years of Age, ſhe was doubly amazed; and the more ſo, to hear a young Fellow ſpeak ſo feelingly of a Child.

She ask'd me, if my Wife was living? I told her no; that ſhe died in Child-Bed [159] of that Girl; whom ſhe inſiſted ſhould be brought to ſee her next Day, and entertained the poor Thing in a very genteel Manner, and greatly compaſſionated her's and her ſuppoſed Father's Unhappineſs.

I was the firſt Waiter that was ever permitted to ſit at Table with her; but, ſhe was pleaſed to compliment me, that ſhe thought my Be⯑haviour gave me a Claim to that Reſpect, and that 'twas with the utmoſt Pain ſhe obliged herſelf to call me any Thing but, Sir.

To her great Surprize, ſhe found me quite a handy Creature; and being light and nimble, trip'd up and down Stairs with that Alacrity of Spirit and Agility of Body, that is natural to thoſe Gentlemen of the Order of the Tap-tub; though, as Hob ſays, we ſold all Sorts of Wine and Punch, &c.

At length Sunday came, and I began to ſhake in my Shoes, for fear of a Diſcovery, well knowing our Houſe to be one of very great Reſort, as I found it; for I waited that Day upon twenty different Companies, there being no other Appearance of a Male, except myſelf, throughout the Houſe, ex⯑cluſive of the Cuſtomers; and, to my violent [160] Aſtoniſhment, not one Soul among 'em all that knew me.

Another Recommendation of me to my good Miſtreſs, was my being able to converſe with the Foreigners, who frequented her Or⯑dinary every Sabbath - Day, and to whom ſhe was unable to talk, but by Signs; which I obſerving, prevented her future Trouble, by ſignifying in the French Tongue, I perfectly well underſtood it. This was a univerſal Joy round the Table, which was encompaſſed by German Peruke-Makers and French Tay⯑lors, not one of whom could utter one ſingle Syllable of Engliſh.

As ſoon as Mrs. Dorr heard me ſpeak French, away ſhe run with her Plate in her Hand, and, laughing, left the Room to go down and eat an Engliſh Dinner; having, as ſhe afterwards told me, been obliged once a Week to dine pantomimically, for neither ſhe or her Company were able to converſe by any other Means.

When I came down with the Diſhes, I thought the poor Soul would have eat me up; and ſent as many thankful Prayers to Heaven as would have furniſhed a Saint for a Twelvemonth, in Behalf of the Man who [161] brought me to her. Her over Joy of her Deliverance from her foreign Companions, wrought a generous Effect on her Mind; which I had a convincing Proof of, by her preſenting me with Half a Crown, and made many Encomiums I thought impoſſible for me ever, in ſuch a Sphere of Life, to be capable of deſerving.

In regard to my Child, I begg'd not to be obliged to lie in the Houſe, but conſtantly came to my Time in a Morning, and ſtaid 'till about Ten or Eleven at Night; and have often wondered I have eſcaped, without Wounds or Blows, from the Gentlemen of the Pad, who are numerous and frequent in their Evening Patroles through them Fields, and my March extended as far as Long-Acre, by which Means I was obliged to paſs through the thickeſt of 'em. But Heaven everlaſtingly be praiſed! I never had any Encounter with 'em; and uſed to jog along with the Air of a raw, unthinking, pennyleſs 'Prentice, which I ſuppoſe, rendered me not worthy their Obſervation.

In the Week Days, Buſineſs (though good,) was not ſo very brisk as on Sundays, ſo that when I had any leiſure Hours I employed 'em in working in the Garden, which I was then [162] capable of doing with ſome ſmall Judgment; but that, and every Thing elſe, created freſh Surprize in my Miſtreſs, who behaved to me as if I had been rather her Son than her Servant.

One Day, as I was ſetting ſome Windſor Beans, the Maid came to me, and told me ſhe had a very great Secret to unfold, but that I muſt promiſe never to tell that ſhe had diſcovered it. As I had no extraordinary Opinion of her Underſtanding, or her Honeſty, I was not over anxious to hear this mighty Secret, leſt it ſhould draw me into ſome Premunire; but ſhe inſiſted upon diſcloſing it, aſſuring me 'twas ſomething that might turn to my Advantage, if I would make a proper Uſe of it. This laſt Aſſertion raiſed in me a little Curioſity, and I began to grow more attentive to her Diſcourſe; which ended in aſſuring me, to her certain Knowledge, I might marry her Miſtreſs's Kinſwoman, if I would pay my Addreſſes; and that ſhe ſhould like me for a Maſter extreamly, adviſing me to it by all Means.

I asked her what Grounds ſhe had for ſuch a Suppoſition? To which ſhe anſwer'd, ſhe had Reaſons ſufficient for what ſhe had ſaid, and I was the greateſt Fool in the [163] World if I did not follow her Advice. I poſitively aſſured her I would not, for I would not put it in the Power of a Mother-in-Law to uſe my Child ill; and that I had ſo much Regard, as I pretended, to the Memory of her Mother, I reſolved never to enter into Matri⯑mony a ſecond Time.

Whatever was the Motive, I am entirely ignorant of, but this inſenſible Mortal had told the young Woman, that I intended to make Love to her; which, had I really been a Man, would have never entered in my Imagination, for ſhe had no one Qua⯑lification to recommend her to the Regard of any Thing beyond a Porter or a Hackney-Coachman. Whether ſhe was angry at what I ſaid to the Wench, in regard to my Re⯑ſolution againſt marrying, or whether it was a Forgery of the Maid's, of and to us both, I cannot poſitively ſay; but a Strangeneſs enſued, and I began to grow ſick of my Place, and ſtay'd but a few Days after.

In the Interim Somebody happened to come, who hinted that I was a Woman; upon which, Madam, to my great Surprize, attacked me with inſolently preſuming to ſay ſhe was in Love with me, which I aſſured her I never had the leaſt Conception of. No, truly; I [164] believe, ſaid ſhe, I ſhould hardly be 'na⯑mour'd WITH ONE OF MY OWN Sect: Upon which I burſt into a Laugh, and took the Liberty to ask her, if ſhe underſtood what ſhe ſaid? This threw the offended Fair into an abſolute Rage, and our Controverſy laſted for ſome Time; but, in the End, I brought in Vindication of my own Innocence, the Maid to Diſgrace, who had uncalled for trumped up ſo ridiculous a Story.

Mrs. Dorr ſtill remained incredulous, in regard to my being a Female; and though ſhe afterwards paid me a Viſit, with my worthy Friend (at my Houſe in Drury-Lane) who brought my unſucceſsful Letter back from my Father, ſhe was not to be convinced, I hap⯑pening that Day to be in the Male-Habit, on Account of playing a Part for a poor Man, and obliged to find my own Cloaths.

She told me, ſhe wiſhed ſhe had known me better when I lived with her, ſhe would, on no Terms, have parted with her Man Charles, as ſhe had been informed I was capa⯑ble of being Maſter of the Ceremonies, in ma⯑naging and conducting the Muſical Gardens; for ſhe had a very fine Spot of Ground, calculated entirely for that Purpoſe, and would have truſted the Care of it to my Govern⯑ment. [165] But 'twas then too late; which I am ſorry for, on the Gentlewoman's Account, who might have been by ſuch a Scheme preſerved in her Houſe; from which, through ill Uſage, in a ſhort Time after ſhe was drove out, and reduced to very great Extremities, even by thoſe moſt nearly related to her: But I find 'tis become a faſhionable Vice, to proclaim War againſt thoſe we ought to be moſt tender of; and the ſureſt and only Way to find a Friend, is to make a Contract with the greateſt Stranger.

After I left my unfortunate Miſtreſs, I was obliged to look out for Acting Jobbs, and luckily one ſoon preſented itſelf. One Mr. Scudamore, a Serjeant of Dragoons, who had been ſome Years before a Player, on his Re⯑turn from Battle (where our Royal Youthful Hero had immortalized his Fame in his Fa⯑ther's and Country's Defence) took The Re⯑cruiting Officer for his Benefit, played Capt. Plume, and engaged- me for Sylvia, and alſo to write him a Prologue on the Occaſion, which he ſpoke himſelf.

I don't pretend to have any extraordinary Talents, in regard to Poetry in Verſe, or in⯑deed in Proſe; but as it ſpeaks the Warmth of my Heart towards the Royal Family, whoſe [166] illuſtrious Line may Heaven to lateſt Poſterity extend, I will venture to inſert what I wrote: And hope, though I am but an inſignificant and humble Subject, every true Briton will let my Zeal plead an Excuſe for my Defi⯑ciency, in the attempting ſo noble and glorious a Theme.

Though my Poetry may be lame, my De⯑ſign was good; and, as I am ſenſible it has no other Merit than that, ſhall ſay no more about it, but that it was well received at the Hay-Market Theatre, and I was handſomely rewarded by the Perſon whoſe Benefit it was wrote for.

I muſt acknowledge the Story of my Situa⯑tion at Mary-la-Bonne is not properly ranged in my Hiſtory, according to the Time it hap⯑pened; but, as it made up the Number of my Oddities, I have made bold to hawl it in, as I think it is as remarkable as any other Part of my Life before-mentioned.

[168] After I left my Houſe (which my Uncle's kind Pail of Milk enabled me to go into, though ſoon after kicked down by his ridi⯑culous Marriage) I went to the Hay-Market, where my Brother revived the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet; and would have ſucceeded by other Pieces he got up, in particular by the Run of Cymbeline, but was obliged to de⯑ſiſt by Virtue of an Order from the L—d C—n: I imagine, partly occaſioned by a Jealouſy of his having a Likelihood of a great Run of the laſt-mentioned Play; and which would of Courſe been detrimental, in ſome Meaſure, to the other Houſes.

While we were permitted to go on, my Brother and I lived together, where I paſſed my Time both chearfully and agreeably: And 'tis no Compliment, to own the Pleaſure and Advantage I reaped from his daily Converſa⯑tion, was the Foundation of that pleaſing Content I enjoyed, whilſt he was a Reſident at that Theatre.

But as my Happineſs was never of very long Duration, my Brother was invited, on the Suppreſſion, to Covent-Garden Theatre, and I was left to make the beſt I could, with the remaining Few who had a Mind to try their [169] Fortunes with me: And indeed, to do my Brother Juſtice, he promiſed me I ſhould have the Advantage of his Daughter Jenny's Performance, as I was left ſuddenly, and in Diſtreſs.

As ſhe was a promiſing Actreſs in a tender, ſoft Light, I deſigned to ſet her forth to the beſt Advantage, and there was nothing wanting but her Father's Preſence to carry every Thing on as orderly as before: Though his going was the only Means that rendred it practicable for me to keep the Houſe open; for, when he was removed,

Yet I was determined, had my Niece re⯑mained with me, to have been as induſtrious as poſſible, both for her Sake and my own; and, as I had appeared in ſome firſt Characters, was reſolved to endeavour at filling up all thoſe, with which ſhe was moſt concerned, as our Figures were agreeably match'd; I being but of the Bulk and Stature of moſt of our modern fine Gentlemen, and Miſs Jenny, who was a growing Girl of Sixteen, exactly tally'd with me in that Reſpect.

[170] When my Brother governed the Theatre, he got up The Conſcious Lovers, which we play'd four Nights ſucceſſively, to full Houſes; in which I appear'd in the Cha⯑racter of Young Bevil, the Child in Indiana, and her Father in Tom.

As I had been not only endured, but really well received in ſuch a Part, during my Bro⯑ther's Reign, I could not conceive that his throwing up the Reins of Empire could leſſen me in the Eſteem of the good-natur'd Part of the Town, who had been kind enough to af⯑ford me, perhaps, more than my Share of Ap⯑plauſe: But 'twas otherwiſe thought by ſome of my DEAR FRIENDS, who prevailed on my Father to ſend his poſitive Commands to his Son to withdraw his Daughter, on Pain of his Diſpleaſure.

I was then reviving an old Play, call'd, Pope Joan, in which I afterwards exhibited that Character, to a dreadful Houſe; which I partly attribute to being deprived of my Niece, who was to have performed the Part of An⯑geline. When the Bills were up, and her Name not there, all thoſe who were fond of ſeeing and encouraging her growing Genius, ſent back their Tickets, with various Excuſes [171] for their Non-Attendance; and 'twas debated in the Family, 'Twould be a Scandal for her to play with ſuch a Wretch as I was. 'Twas letting her down, to be ſeen with me, as her Father was not there to keep her in Counten⯑ance.

I ſhould be glad to know, what mighty Degree of theatrical Dignity the harmleſs Child was poſſeſſed of preferable to myſelf, as a Player? I was, when even under Age, received in capital Characters at Drury-Lane, where I made my firſt Appearance; and in ſuch Parts, my riper Judgment makes me tremble to think I had, only with an un⯑cultivated Genius, Courage enough to under⯑take.

In regard to her Birth, I preſume I was upon a Par with her; as her Grandfather's Daughter, and her Father's Siſter. The only Diſgrace was, my being under Misfortunes; the very worſt Reaſon for my Family's con⯑tributing to a Perpetration of that, which Nature and Humanity ſhould rather have ex⯑cited 'em to have helped me to overcome.

In reſpect to an Improvement in her Buſi⯑neſs, I was thought worthy of inſtructing her in the Part of Indiana, which another of her [172] Aunts can teſtify the Truth of, who came with her into my own Apartment ſeveral Days for that Purpoſe.

I ſuppoſe the Reaſon of an Application to me on that Account, proceeded from my Brother's Hurry of Buſineſs, which prevented his doing it. There could be no other Mo⯑tive; for, I am certain, there was no Mortal in the Univerſe more capable of leaving the proper Impreſſions of any Character whatever, on the Mind of thoſe who were endowed with the neceſſary Talents to receive 'em.

I don't mention this with the leaſt Tinc⯑ture of Diſregard to the dear Child; for I am well aſſured, ſhe would have been glad to have rendered her Abilities uſeful to her un⯑fortunate Aunt: And I dare ſay, unleſs her Principles are perverted (which, for her own ſake, I hope are not,) ſhe ſtill retains in her Heart a ſecret Pity for my Sufferings! though to avow it might perhaps hazard the Forfeiture of that Bleſſing, Heaven has been pleaſed to make her Grandfather the happy Inſtrument of beſtowing; which I would not for the Univerſe be the miſerable Motive of, therefore ſhall not only excuſe, but even ad⯑viſe her to think, as ſome other of her Re⯑lations [173] do, that I AM A STRANGER TO HER BLOOD.

'Tis plain the rancourous Hate to me had ſpread itſelf to ſo monſtrous a Degree, that they rather choſe to make themſelves, I may ſay in this Caſe RIDICULOUSLY CRUEL, than not load me with an additional Weight of Miſery. The low Malice of taking away the Child, as I had her Father's Conſent, I put upon the Level of School-boys Under⯑ſtandings; who quarrel with their Play-fellow, from a Jealouſy of ones having more Plumbs in their Cake than t'others.

Had ſhe ſtaid, it might have been uſe⯑ful to both: As Time, Experience and Ob⯑ſervation, had furniſhed me with ſome little Knowledge of the Stage, I would, to the Extent of my Power, have rendered it ſervice⯑able to my Niece; and, I am confident, ſhe would, on her Part, by her Performance, have been greatly beneficial to me.

As I am fooliſhly flatter'd, from the Opinion of others, into a Belief of the Power of culti⯑vating raw and unexperienced Geniuſes, I deſign very ſhortly to endeavour to inſtruct thoſe Perſons who conceive themſelves capable [174] of dramatic Performances, and propoſe to make the Stage their Livelihood.

Some very good Friends of mine have lately adviſed me to this Scheme, which I ſhall put in Force as ſoon as I can with Conveniency; and will, on reaſonable Terms, three Times a Week, pay conſtant Attendance from Ten in the Morning 'till Eight in the Evening, at my intended Academy: Where Ladies and Gen⯑tlemen ſhall be, to the utmoſt of my Power, inſtructed both in the Art of Speaking and Acting; that though they ſhould never come upon the Stage, they ſhall be enabled even to read a Play more pleaſingly to the Auditor, by a few neceſſary Hints, than 'tis likely they ever would without 'em.

If I ſhould qualify thoſe who may deſign to offer themſelves to the Theatres, in ſuch a Manner as may render them worthy the Managers Acceptance, I ſhall receive a double Satisfaction, both in regard to my Pupils Advancement, and rendering my academical Nurſery uſeful to the Maſters of both Houſes, by a Cultivation of a good Genius; which has been often thrown away, like a Piece of fertile Ground over-run with Weeds, through Neglect or Want of good Husbandry.

[175] When this Narrative is ended, I ſhall ad⯑vertiſe to that Purpoſe in the daily Papers; and muſt now beg Leave to apologize for ſwelling out my Numbers with my own Hiſtory, which was originally deſigned to have conſiſted only of a ſhort Sketch of my ſtrange Life: But, on the Appearance of the firſt Number, I was enjoin'd (nay 'twas inſiſted on) by many, that if 'twas poſſible for me to enlarge the Account of myſelf to a Pocket Volume, I ſhould do it.

In Compliance with ſo obliging a Requeſt, which I receive as a Compliment from my good Friends, I have deferred the Publication of Mr. Dumont's Hiſtory 'till this is finiſh'd, which will be now in two Saturdays more; and I hope that, though the Town is not ſo well acquainted with the above-mention'd Gentleman, they will be equally curious to become ſo with his Story, as they have been with mine; and, I dare promiſe, that 'twill afford them ſuch a Satisfaction in the reading, they won't repent their Encouragement of the Author.

As Morality is the principal Foundation of the Work, I venture to recommend it to the Peruſal of the Youthful of both Sexes, as [176] each will find a Character worthy their Ob⯑ſervation; and, I hope, won't bluſh to make their Example.

I intended to have made Writing my Sup⯑port, if poſſible, when I was diſpoſſeſſed of the Happineſs of getting my Bread with my Brother; but my Cares increaſing, I had not Time to ſettle myſelf properly, or collect my Mind for ſuch an Undertaking, therefore was obliged to decline it, and truſt to Pro⯑vidence from Time to Time for what I could get by occaſionally Acting.

Though I was unfortunate in the Main, yet once in five or ſix Weeks ſomething or other generally happened to relieve my afflicted Spirits; and I met with two Cards running that turn'd up Trumps, which led me into an imaginary Hope that the Meaſure of my Griefs were ſo compleatly filled, that 'twas they probable would contain no more.

The firſt of theſe unexpected Joys, aroſe from the tender Compaſſion of his late Grace the Duke of M—gue; who, having been told of my hapleſs Fortune, gave ſo tender an Attention to it, it encouraged the Perſon who related it to adviſe me to write to his Grace.

[177] I inſtantly did; and, without the leaſt Trouble of obtaining Admiſſion for the Meſſenger or Letter, was relieved with ſe⯑veral Guineas, encloſed in a Line of ſoft Com⯑miſeration, under the bounteous Hand of my noble Benefactor; the Honour of which, not⯑withſtanding my Poverty, afforded me a more elevated Tranſport than the liberal Donation; and naturally claims a real Sorrow for his Loſs, attended with a grateful and ſincere Reſpect for his Memory, to the laſt Hour of my Exiſtence, to which he has a Right from Hundreds more beſides myſelf; having been a univerſal Phyſician, and Reſtorer of Peace and Comfort to afflicted Minds, variouſly op⯑preſſed.

This Comfort was, in about two Days, ſuc⯑ceeded by an Engagement with the late (un⯑fortunate) Mr. Ruſſel, who was then a Man of Vogue, and in univerſal Favour with every Perſon of Quality and Diſtinction. This Gen⯑tleman had an Italian Opera at Mr. Hick⯑ford's Great Room, in Brewer's-Street, ex⯑hibited by Puppets; which I underſtanding the Management of, and the Language they ſung, was hired, after the firſt Night's Per⯑formance, at a Guinea per Diem, to move his Punch in particular.

[178] This Affair was carried on by Subſcrip⯑tion, in as grand a Manner as poſſible. Ten of the beſt Hands in Town compleated his Band of Muſick, and ſeveral of the Female Figures were ornamented with real Diamonds, lent for that Purpoſe by ſeveral Perſons of the firſt Quality.

During the ſhort Run I was, in reſpect of my Salary (which was paid me every Day of Performance) extreamly happy; but ſo un⯑fortunately circumſtanced, I was forced to ſet out between Five and Six o'Clock in the Morning, traverſing St. James's-Park 'till Mr. Hickford's Maid aroſe; and, for Security, ſtaid there all Day, mingling with the thickeſt of the Croud at Night to get Home.

The Benefaction of my noble Friend, and Mr. Ruſſel's Salary, enabled me to new rig myſelf and Child; that is, upon the Score of Redemption. But this flowing Tide of Joy ſoon came to an Ebb, both with my Friend and Self; for, in a few Months after, I heard the unpleaſing Tidings of his being under Confinement in Newgate for Debt.

Compaſſion led me to viſit him there, though I had not Power to deliver him from [179] that diſmal Abode, but in my Wiſhes: Though afterwards, had he taken my Advice, he might poſſibly have proved me a Friend by endeavouring to extricate him, in bring⯑ing on the Hay-Market Stage, a humourous Piece of his own Compoſing; which, I be⯑lieve, is ſtill in the Hands of ſome of his Cre⯑ditors, where 'tis of no Uſe to the Perſon who poſſeſſes it; but, as it has Merit, might be rendered ſo, if properly diſpoſed of.

I offered this unhappy Gentleman to pro⯑vide Performers, with my own Service inclu⯑ſive, and to take the entire Management of it upon myſelf, without Fee or Reward, unleſs his nightly Receipts empowered him to gra⯑tify me for my Trouble; which, had he but been barely ſet free, I ſhould have thought myſelf amply rewarded, in being partly the happy Inſtrument.

As to the Money, I told him I would have nothing to do with it; that Door and Office-Keepers ſhould be of his own providing, but that, if I engaged the People, they ſhould be nightly paid, according to the Agreement I ſhould make with them; and for myſelf, would, if the Thing ſucceeded, leave it to his Generoſity to reward me as he thought proper, which I make no Doubt would have [180] been done in the genteeleſt Manner, had the Affair been brought to any Iſſue.

But this diſtreſſed Gentleman was madly exaſperated with the terrible and ſudden Revo⯑lution of his Fortune, and inſtead of receiving my offered Friendſhip with that Regard a rea⯑ſonable Perſon might have thought it deſerved, he rather ſeemed offended at the Propoſal: Which ſtartled me at firſt, but, on our far⯑ther Converſation, I was convinced of his growing Misfortune, and too plainly per⯑ceived that he was not entirely in his Senſes; on which I dropped the Diſcourſe, and, with a real Concern, left him that Evening, but re⯑turned to ſee him in about two Days, when inſtead of finding him in a more ſettled Or⯑der, he was abſolutely changed from the Man of Senſe to the driv'ling Ideot, nor was there the leaſt Conſiſtency in one ſingle Syllable he uttered.

I found myſelf too much ſhocked to leng⯑then my Viſit; and more ſo, when I gathered from him an Account, delivered with heart-breaking Sighs and bitter Sobs, that a Perſon he had entruſted to raiſe a Contribution for him among the Nobility, had run away with the Bounty intended for his Relief; and which would have more than effected it, as there [181] was upwards of an Hundred Pounds amaſſed for that Purpoſe.

This piteous Narration was recounted to me afterwards by a Gentleman, who was his inti⯑mate Friend, and had ſerved him to the Ex⯑tent of his Power through the whole Scene of Miſery that ended him.

In about a Fortnight after my Interview with him in Newgate, paſſing through, I called to know how he did, and was inform⯑ed he was removed by a Habeas to the Fleet. As it lay in my Way, I ſtopped there and en⯑quired after him; upon which I was de⯑ſired to walk up two Pair of Stairs, and in ſuch a Room I ſhould find him.

I expreſſed to the Perſons who directed me a great Concern for him, and they as natural⯑ly anſwered, 'twas very kind and very good in me, and deſired me very civilly to walk up, which accordingly I did; and, after hav⯑ing rambled into ſeveral Peoples Rooms through Miſtake, I arrived at that where Mr. Ruſſel's Remains only were depoſited, for he was abſolutely in a Coffin, which ſome Friend had ſent in Reſpect to him.

[182] I conceive a Deſcription of my Surprize on this Account quite unneceſſary, but I really, for ſome Time, was very near as motionleſs as the deceaſed Perſon, and in my Heart very angry with the Woman who ſent me up to him, without informing me he was dead.

When I came down ſhe very reaſonably ex⯑cuſed herſelf, by reminding me, that the Te⯑nor of our Diſcourſe conſiſted of nothing more than a tender Concern on my Side, for the unhappy Gentleman; and ſhe concluded, that Friendſhip and Curioſity had brought me there to ſee his ſad Remains, he having been dead two Days, and therefore ſhe thought I knew it.

I aſſured her, I did not; and farther told her, I was pleaſed to ſee he had ſo handſome a Shroud and Coffin: But ſhe ſhocked me exceſſively by telling me, he was to be re⯑moved out of the one and diſrobed of the other, to be put into one provided by the Pa⯑riſh: For 'twas a Law, when a Debtor died without any Effects or Means to ſatisfy their Creditors, they muſt be ſo interred, otherwiſe an Indulgence of being buried by Friends rendered the Warden of the Fleet liable to pay all the Debts of the Deceaſed, if it could be [183] proved that he had ſuffered it.—'Tis a hard Caſe notwithſtanding, that Humanity ſhould not extend itſelf even to the Dead, without hurting thoſe whoſe Principles of Chriſtianity excite them to it.

Thus ended the Life of one who was uni⯑verſally admired, and had been for ſome Time as much the Faſhion in Families as their Cloaths: But, alas! Misfortunes are too apt to wear out Friendſhip, and he was caſt off in two or three Months with as much Contempt, as an old Coat made in Oliver's Time.

Though it was repreſented to his Acquaint⯑ance, how cruelly he had been uſed by the Perſon he intruſted to ſollicit them in his Be⯑half, it was ſcarce believed, even by thoſe who not long before had laid him neareſt to their Hearts. This is one very remarkable Inſtance of the Uncertainty of Friendſhip, and the In⯑ſtability of Peoples Minds who are only fa⯑ſhionably kind.

I was in Hopes, after Mr. Ruſſel's Death, to have got his Figures upon reaſonable Terms, and have taken them into the Country, as they were very ſmall, and rather an Incumbrance to one who did not underſtand how to make uſe of them; but, when I made an Enquiry [184] into the Price of them, his Landlord valued them at Threeſcore Guineas, and the Money down.

That laſt Aſſertion ſoon ended my Project, as the Reader may conceive; ſo I engaged myſelf at May-Fair, and lived on my Pro⯑fits there 'till the enſuing Bartholomew: From thence I went into the Country, where I re⯑mained ('till laſt Chriſtmas) for very near nine Years.

My firſt Expedition was to Sunning-Hill, where I had the Joy of playing Capt. Plume, and blending it with the Part of Sylvia. The Lady who ſhould have repreſented it, as I ſuppoſe, was ſo ſtrongly affected with the Death of her Brother Owen, ſhe was not able to ſpeak a plain Word, or indeed to keep her Ground.

This gave me an early Touch of the Qua⯑lity of Strollers; and, but 'twas rather con⯑venient than otherwiſe to keep out of Town, would ſoon have brought me back again. But, alas! this was trifling to what I after⯑wards beheld. I have ſeen an Emperor as drunk as a Lord, according to the old Phraſe, and a Lord as elegant as a Ticket-Porter: A Queen with one Ruffle on, and [185] Lord Townly without Shoes, or at leaſt but an Apology for them.

This laſt Circumſtance reminds me of the Queen in The Spaniſh Fryar once playing without Stockings; though I muſt do the Perſon Juſtice to ſay, it proceeded from an unprecedented Inſtance of even a Superfluity of good Nature, which was excited by her Ma⯑jeſty's obſerving Torriſmond to have a dirty Pair of Yarn Stockings, with above twenty Holes in Sight; and, as ſhe thought her Legs not ſo much expos'd to View, kindly ſtrips them of a fine Pair of Cotton, and lends them to the Hero.

I played Lorenzo, and, having no Buſineſs with the Queen, had a Mind to obſerve how ſhe acquitted herſelf in her Part, being a Per⯑ſon I had known many Years, and was really anxious for her Succeſs. I found ſhe ſpoke ſenſibly, but, to my great Surprize, obſerved her to ſtoop extreamly forward, on which I concluded ſhe was ſeized with a ſudden Fit of the Cholick, but ſhe ſatisfied me of the contrary; and, on her next Appearance, I remarked that ſhe ſunk down very much on that Side I ſtood between the Scenes, on which I then conjectured her to be troubled with a Sciatick Pain in her Side, and made a ſecond Enquiry, [186] but was anſwered in the Negative on that Score: Upon which I deſired to know the Reaſon of her bending forward, and ſideling ſo?

She told me, 'twas a Trick ſhe had got. 'Tis a very new one then, ſays I, for I never ſaw you do ſo before; but I began to ſuſpect ſomething was the Matter, and reſolved to find it out. Preſently the Royal Dame was obliged to deſcend from the Stage into the Dreſſing-Room, and made a Diſcovery, by the toſſing up of her Hoop, of a Pair of naked Legs.

I own, I was both angry and pleaſed. I was concerned to find my Friend's Humanity had extended ſo far as to render herſelf ridi⯑culous, beſides the Hazard ſhe run of catch⯑ing Cold: But muſt confeſs, I never ſaw ſo ſtrong a Proof of good Nature, eſpecially among Travelling-Tragedizers; for, to ſpeak Truth of them, they have but a ſmall Share of that Principle ſubſiſting amongſt them.

If a Perſon is but a lame Hand, he or ſhe is deſpiſed for that; and, 'tis a common Rule, when Benefits come on, to ſay among their different Parties (which they all herd in) Mr. and Mrs. Such-a-one, to be ſure, will have a [187] great Houſe, meaning perhaps the Manager and his Wife, who very often are the worſt in the whole Set: And 'tis very ſeldom that one Couple ſhall both prove good, but the Merit of the one is forced to make up for the Deficiency of the other.

The leaſt Glimmering or Shade of Acting, in Man or Woman, is a ſure Motive of Envy in the reſt; and, if their Malice can't per⯑ſwade the Town's-People into a Diſlike of their Performance, they'll cruelly endeavour to taint their Characters; ſo that I think going a Strolling is engaging in a little, dirty Kind of War, in which I have been obliged to fight ſo many Battles, I have reſolutely determined to throw down my Commiſſion: And to ſay Truth, I am not only ſick, but heartily aſhamed of it, as I have had nine Years Ex⯑perience of its being a very contemptible Life; rendred ſo, through the impudent and ignorant Behaviour of the Generality of thoſe who purſue it; and I think it wou'd be more reputable to earn a Groat a Day in Cinder⯑fiſting at Tottenham-Court, than to be con⯑cerned with them.

'Tis a Pity that ſo many, who have good Trades, ſhould idly quit them, to be⯑come deſpicable Actors; which renders them [188] uſeleſs to themſelves, and very often Nuſances to others. Thoſe who were bred up in the Profeſſion, have the beſt Right to make it their Calling; but their Rights are horribly invaded by Barbers 'Prentices, Taylors and Journeymen Weavers; all which bear ſuch ſtrong Marks of their Profeſſions, that I have ſeen Richard the Third murder Henry the Sixth with a Shuttle, and Oreſtes jump off the Shop-Board to addreſs Hermione.

Another Set of Gentry who have crept into their Community, are Servants out of Place; and I very lately ſaw the gallant Marcian as well rubbed and curried, as ever the Actor did a Horſe in his Maſter's Stable. This wor⯑thy Wight having the Happineſs to write an exceeding fine Hand, and living formerly with a Gentleman in one of the Inns of Court, wiſely palms himſelf upon Strangers for a Lawyer, when his real and original Profeſſion was that of a Groom.

How ſuch Sort of People, without the Help of at leaſt a little Education, can pre⯑ſume to pick the Pockets of an Audience, is to me aſtoniſhing, though they have the Vanity and Aſſurance to ſay they pleaſe, but 'tis only themſelves; and were the Spirits of departed Poets to ſee their Works mangled and [189] butchered, as I have too often been a melan⯑cholly Witneſs of, they would certainly kick the depredating Heroes out of this World into the next.

I have had the Mortification of hearing the Characters of Hamlet, Varanes, Othello, and many more Capitals, rent in Pieces by a Figure no higher than two Six-penny Loaves, and a Diſſonancy of Voice, which conveyed to me a ſtrong Idea of a Cat in Labour; all which, conjoined with an injudicious Utter⯑ance, made up a compleat tragical Emetick, for a Perſon of the ſmalleſt Degree of Judg⯑ment: And yet theſe Wretches very impudent⯑ly ſtile themſelves Players; a Name, let me tell them, when properly applied, is an Hon⯑our to an Underſtanding, for none can de⯑ſerve that Title, who labour under the Want of a very conſiderable Share of Senſe.

In the Courſe of my Travels, I went to a Town called Cirenceſter, in Glouceſterſhire; when an odd Affair happened, which I beg Leave to relate, as follows:

I happened to be taken violently ill with a nervous Fever and Lowneſs of Spirits, that continued upon me for upwards of three Years, before I was able to get the better of it. [190] When I came to the before-mentioned Town, I was ſo near Death, that my Diſſolution was every Moment expected; but, after my Illneſs came to a Criſis, I very ſlowly amended, and as ſoon as I could creep about the Houſe was adviſed, by my Apothecary, to ride out, if I was able to ſit a Horſe.

As ſoon as I found myſelf capable of it, I followed his Advice, and had one lent me for myſelf, and another for my Friend, the good⯑natured Gentlewoman who commiſerated poor Torriſmond's Misfortune, and to whom I am moſt infinitely and ſincerely obliged for her tender Care in nurſing me in three Years Ill⯑neſs, without repining at her Fatigue, which was uninterrupted, and naturally fixes on me a laſting grateful Senſe of the Favour.

The Perſon who furniſhed me with the Horſes, was a reverend-looking Elder, about ſixty Years of Age, with a beautiful curling Head of Hair and florid Complexion, that be⯑ſpoke at once both Admiration and Reſpect. His Temper was agreeable to his Aſpect, ex⯑treamly pleaſing, and his Company entertain⯑ing; with which he often obliged me, while my Friend attended her Buſineſs of a Play-Night.

[191] After riding out two or three Days, the old Gentleman perceiving me to grow better, asked me, if I liked the Horſe? which I told him I greatly approved, as it was an eaſy and willing Creature. He ſaid, he was at my Service. I very thankfully accepted the Fa⯑vour, and, before many Witneſſes, the Preſent was made; as alſo the other for my Friend's Uſe, which belonged to a young Fellow he called his Nephew.

He told me, that if I thought proper to quit the Stage, which he imagined, in my weak Condition, was better avoided than pur⯑ſued, he would take me to his Eſtate, ſituate at a Place called Brill, in Oxfordſhire; and, if I and my Friend would ſtay with him as long as either he or we ſhould live, I ſhould be Superintendant over his Affairs Abroad, and my Friend ſhould have the entire Manage⯑ment of the Family at Home; which, he ſaid, conſiſted only of himſelf and Nephew, and about ſeven or eight Servants, that were employed in Husbandry, he being, as he in⯑formed us, a wealthy Grazier.

'Twas ſoon reſolved, that we ſhould give Warning to Mr. Linnett, who was Manager of the Company, to leave him at the Expiration [192] of a Month. This was accordingly done; and, as a Confirmation of his Intention in tak⯑ing us with him, gave Mrs. Brown an old-faſhioned Gold Necklace, with a large Locket of the ſame Metal, which altogether, I dare believe by the Weight, could not be worth leſs than Twenty Pounds, there being ſeveral Rows, and the Beads not ſmall.

I deſired the old Gentleman not to inſiſt on her wearing it, 'till ſhe went Home. It being an old-faſhioned Thing I knew, as an Actreſs, People would ſtare to ſee her ſo equipped; though it was a valuable Gift, but more proper to ornament the Neck of a Country-Houſwife, than a Tragedy-Queen. I therefore deſired him to keep it, 'till we were ſettled; and pretended, for fear of af⯑fronting him, that ſhe might run a Hazard in loſing it of a Play-Night. He thought my Care was juſt, but inſiſted on her laying it up herſelf, and I luckily inſiſted he ſhould have it in his Poſſeſſion 'till we went away.

The Thoughts of being ſo well ſettled and provided for both our Lives, was, in Fact, greatly conducive towards the Reſtoration of my Health; and our Friendſhip with the old Gentleman daily encreaſed, as alſo with hi [...] Nephew, whom he frequently ſent into dif⯑ferent [193] Parts of the Country after Cattle; and, with the utmoſt Ceremony, begged the Fa⯑vour of borrowing my Horſe, 'till he could ſend an Order to Brill for another.

The leaſt I could do was to comply with the Requeſt of ſo valuable a Friend, and away went the Nephew; who, at length, happened to ſtay three or four Days longer than was in⯑tended, which gave his Uncle a great deal of ſeeming Uneaſineſs, that, to all Appearance, was worked into a downright Paſſion, with Threats of cutting him of with a Shilling, for rambling about when he had ſent him upon Buſineſs of weighty Concern.

As I obſerved him to be very much out of Humour, I thought it would be but a friend⯑ly Part to endeavour to appeaſe the Uncle, for the Nephew's ſake; which the old Man took very kindly of me, and bid me want for nothing that might be neceſſary towards the Recovery of my Health; aſſuring me, when Jemmy came Home, Fifty Pounds ſhould be at my Service, to put to what Uſe I pleaſed.

So generous an Offer, unasked, made me conceive that this Man was dropped from Heaven, to be my kind Deliverer from all the [194] Sorrows of Life; but, before Mr. James came back, there came a ſudden Order from the Magiſtrate of the Town, to inſiſt on the old Man's leaving it at a Moment's Warning, on Pain of being ſent to Glouceſter Jail, if he refuſed to obey.

In the Interim, Home comes the Nephew, who received the ſame Charge; but they huddled up their Affairs in a ſtrange Manner, and ventured to ſtay three Days longer, though very little ſeen.

This put my Friend and ſelf into a terrible Conſternation, for ſtill we could neither of us arrive at the real Truth of the Affair; 'till Mr. Linnett, who had heard it from the Town's-People, and, with a frighted Aſpect and real Concern, came almoſt breathleſs to let me know, that my pretended Friends were poſitively Gamblers and Houſe-breakers; that if we liſtened any longer to them, we ſhould be ſure not only to be deceived, but, in all human Probability, be made innocent Sufferers for their Guilt.

Mr. Linnett's Concern was expreſſed with all the Symptoms of ſtrong Truth, which ſtartled us both with Fear and Wonder, and made us heedfully attentive to all he related.

[195] We immediately gave up all Right and Claim to our Horſes, and my Friend did the ſame to her Gold Necklace, all which were ſtolen Goods; and, had ſhe been ſeen with it about her Neck by the right Owner, 'tis poſſible the poor Soul might have been provided with one of a rougher Kind, and each of us diſ⯑gracefully exalted, for being harmleſsly cre⯑dulous.

I afterwards found out, their Scheme was to have got our Boxes into their Poſſeſſion; which, as both the old and young Man were frequent in their Viſits to play at Cards with me, by Way of Amuſement in my Illneſs, they had obſerved were well furniſhed with very good Linnen, and my Friend had juſt received a Preſent of Cloaths from her Rela⯑tions. Had they got theſe into their Poſſeſ⯑ſion, they would have proved a tolerable Booty.

But our better Stars ſhone forth that Time; and though we loſt only an imaginary For⯑tune, we ſecured our Lives, and the little All we were both worth upon the Face of the Earth.

In about a Year after, the old Man dang⯑gled into the next World upon a Gibbet, ei⯑ther [196] at Salisbury or Oxford, which I cannot poſitively affirm, but that was his deſerved Fate; and the young one died raving mad in a Priſon, in or near London.

I thought proper to inſert this Story, not only as it is a particular Occurrence of my Life, but to warn the undeſigning Part of the World of heedleſsly falling into Company of Strangers, and being taken in by them.

This Man, by his Diſcourſe and Appear⯑ance, would have deceived a much wiſer Per⯑ſon than myſelf, as he really wore the venera⯑ble Marks of bearded Sanctity and Wiſdom; but his Principles were as oppoſite to that Deſcription, as an Angel to a Daemon, having been upwards of forty Years a noted Gam⯑bler, Pickpocket, and ſometimes Highway⯑man.

I often lift up my Heart to Heaven, with grateful Senſe of its providential Care of us, in preventing the diſmal Scenes of Miſery to which we ſhould have been expoſed, had this wicked Man perpetrated his Deſign; and we might have been made innocent Sacrifices to ſave his horrid Life, through Villainy im⯑poſed, and branded with the Guilt of Crimes we never ſhould have thought of committing: [197] I therefore hope, our fortunate Eſcape will ſet others on their Guard, who may be liable to an Accident of the ſame Kind.

When we left Cirenceſter, we made a ſhort Progreſs to Chippenham, an agreeably ſituated Market-Town in the Road to Bath, where I met with many Friends, as indeed I generally had the good Fortune to do, go where I would; in particular Mr. Thomas Stroud, who keeps the Angel Inn, and Mr. Lodge, Maſter of the White Hart, were conjunctive in forwarding my Intereſt: And I think, without Compliment to either, they are re⯑markable for keeping two of the moſt ele⯑gant and beſt accommodated Houſes through⯑out Great-Britain. A Thing ſeldom known, that one little Market-Town ſhould produce two ſuch agreeable Repoſitories for Travellers, and I am very glad they meet with the Suc⯑ceſs they deſervedly enjoy.

From thence we took a ſhort Trip to a lit⯑tle Village called Corſham, four Miles diſtant from Chippenham; where we had little elſe to do than to walk out and furniſh our keen Stomachs with freſh Air, and come Home and gape at each other for want of a Dinner.

[198] Bad Buſineſs is a ſure Means to produce ill Blood in a Company; for, as they grow hun⯑gry, they naturally grow peeviſh, and fall out with one another, without conſidering that each bears a proportionable Part of the Diſ⯑treſs, the Manager excepted; who never fails, in all Companies, to eat, as Bombardinian ſays,

This happening to be my Caſe, I was re⯑fuſed a ſmall, but needful Supply, which oc⯑caſioned a diſagreeable Argument; and I wrote to Mr. Richard Elrington to inform him, agreeable to an Invitation I received ſome Months before, upon his ſending me three Guineas, my Friend, Daughter, and Self, would immediately join him.

Accordingly as ſoon as the Letter could reach him, which was as far as Tiverton in Devonſhire, he diſpatched a Meſſenger on Horſeback, with two Guineas and an Half, and a Letter full of Joy with the Hopes of my ſpeedy Arrival; which was no ſmall Ad⯑vantage, as the Company then ſtood, as it conſiſted but of few Hands, and one of the Women ſo-unfortunate, that ſhe was dead [199] drunk in Bed the firſt Night of their Open⯑ing, when ſhe ſhould have been ſoberly em⯑ployed in the Performance of Lucy in The Beggar's Opera. Mrs. Elrington, who was perfect in all the Characters in that Piece, art⯑fully contrived to double the Parts of Polly and Lucy; which, I ſuppoſe, ſhe muſt do, as Soſia repreſents himſelf and Alcmena, by the Aſſiſtance of a Lanthorn.

So diſmal a Diſappointment naturally of⯑fended the Audience, and their nightly Re⯑ceipts fell very ſhort of their Expectations from this diſaſtrous Chance, which reduced them to the Neceſſity of playing three Times a Week at a little Market-Town, called Co⯑lumpton, within five Miles of Tiverton, or at leaſt attempting ſo to do, that they might have a Probability of eating once in ſix Days; and a terrible Hazard that was, for the Co⯑lumpton Audience never amounted to more than Twenty Shillings at the fulleſt Houſe, which, when the Charges were paid, and the Players, like ſo many hungry Magpies, had gaped for their Profits, might very poſſibly afford what they call a Stock-Supper, which was generally ended in a Quarrel, by Way of Deſert.

[200] That barbarous Word MERIT, has been the Occaſion of more Fewds in thoſe Com⯑munities than the whole Court of Chancery can ever be able to decide, or His Majeſty's Army overcome. I own it ſurprizes me that a ſingle Syllable, which in itſelf is truly va⯑luable, ſhould be ſo conſtant an Invader of the Peace of thoſe, who, if I may judge by their Abuſe of it on the Stage, are perfect Strangers to its Derivation, and not in the leaſt relative to them who nightly claim an un⯑lawful Title to it.

However I ſhall, though I find Fault with the Multitude, do Juſtice to thoſe who de⯑ſerve it. Mrs. Elrington has the firſt De⯑mand on my Judgment in that Caſe, among the Travelling-Comedians. She has a great deal of Spirit, and ſpeaks ſenſibly. Her Ge⯑nius is calculated for Low-Comedy entirely; and the Smallneſs of her Perſon, which ren⯑dred her unſucceſsful in her Attempt on Co⯑vent-Garden Theatre, is no Detriment on a Country Stage, as the Difference of them is upon an Equality with a Mouſe-trap and a Mountain.

When we arrived at Tiverton, they were gone for a Night or two to their more Rural [201] Retreat; and I having a Man and two Horſes to diſcharge, was really, with our Keeping upon the Road for near ſeventy Miles, under ſome Sort of Confuſion and Concern, for want of the Half Guinea which was ſhort of our Demands.

After ſome private Conſultation with my Friend and Daughter, who were both trem⯑bling with terrible Apprehenſions of ſome Immunities ariſing from this Misfortune, I took Heart, and reſolved to ſet the beſt Face upon a bad Matter. As Mr. Elrington was not preſent to receive us, I enquired what Houſes he uſed in Town; and was, to my great Joy, ſoon informed that there was one in particular, the Miſtreſs of which was a great Friend to him; on which I undauntedly ſet forward, and very luckily found the Perſon to be the young Man's Mother who brought us the Money into Wiltſhire.

In Mr. Elrington's Name I borrowed the Half Guinea, which, to our general Joy, was immediately granted, and the Man and Horſes diſcharged; though a ſecond Thought came into my Head, that as the Company was ab⯑ſent, and hearing but a terrible Account of their Progreſs there, I began to be doubtful whether their Faith was ſtrong enough to [202] keep ſo many poor, pennyleſs Devils from ſtarving, 'till their Return, which I was told would not be ſo ſoon as they propoſed, there being a Play beſpoke, to which they were promiſed a great Houſe.

This gave me freſh Spirits, and I thought it quite proper to engage our Guide to walk the other five Miles and efcort us to the Players. The Splendour of a Shilling ſoon prevailed, and we mounted directly; my Friend ſingle, and my Daughter and Self double, upon a ſtrapping Beaſt, which was of a proper Size to have been rank'd in the Number of Dragoons.

I was not a little pleaſed, notwithſtanding their ill Succeſs, to find Mr. Elrington's Credit ſo good, and his Character ſo juſtifiable, that, even in his Abſence, a Stranger could be intruſted on his Account.

When we came to our Journey's End, Mrs. Elrington, who was the firſt Perſon we ſaw, received us with inexpreſſible Joy, and gave us a ſecond Relation of the miſerable State of their Affairs: But, as Lady Grace ſays of Lady Townly, She rallied her Misfortunes with ſuch Vivacity, that had not her Wit been too ſtrong for my Reſolution, I ſhould [203] have certainly gone back again by the Return of the next 'Poſt.

As we were juſt entring the Town, a good-looking Farmer met us, by our Appearance gueſs'd what we were, and ask'd if we were not Comedians? We anſwered in the Affirma⯑tive, on which he deſired, if we had any Pity for ourſelves, to turn back; and, rapping out a thundring Oath, affirmed to us that we were going to ſtarve, which threw my Friend (who is not the beſt Horſewoman in the World) into ſuch a Fright, ſhe dropp'd her Bridle, from which Advantage her hungry Steed fairly run her into a Hedge, and dropp'd her into the Ditch.

When ſhe recovered her Surprize, ſhe was for going directly back, without ſeeing the Company; but when I aſſured her the Money would not hold out, ſhe was prevailed on to go forward.

At length the beſpoke Play was to be enacted, which was The Beaux Stratagem; but ſuch an Audience, I dare believe, was never heard of before or ſince. In the firſt Row of the Pit ſat a Range of drunken Butchers, ſome of whom ſoon entertained us with the inharmonious Muſick of their [204] Noſtrils: Behind them were ſeated, as I ſup⯑poſe, their unſizable Conforts, who ſeemed to enjoy the ſame State of Happineſs their dear Spouſes were poſſeſſed of; but, having more Vivacity than the Males, laugh'd ‘"and talk'd louder than the Players."’

Mrs. Elrington (who play'd Mrs. Sullen) having ſuch a lovely Proſpect before her, and being willing to divert me from any Deſign ſhe might ſuſpect of my not ſtaying, in the drunken Scene between Archer and Scrub (the former of which I play'd) unex⯑pectedly paid us a Viſit; and, taking the Tankard out of Scrub's Hand, drank Mr. Archer's Health, and to our better Acquaint⯑ance. The leaſt I could do was to return the Lady's Compliment, by drinking to her's; after which ſhe ordered my Brother Scrub to call the Butler in with his Fiddle, and inſiſted on my dancing a Minuet with her, while poor Scrub comforted himſelf with the Remains of the Tankard.

This Abſurdity led us into ſeveral more, for we both took a Wild-gooſe Chace through all the dramatic Authors we could recollect, taking particular Care not to let any ſingle Speech bear in the Anſwer the leaſt Affinity, and, while I was making Love from Jaffier, [205] ſhe tenderly approved my Paſſion with the Soliloquy of Cato.

In this incoherent Manner we finiſhed the Night's Entertainment. Mrs. Sullen, inſtead of Archer, concluding the Play with Jane Shore's Tag, at the End of the firſt Act of that Tragedy, to the univerſal Satisfaction of that Part of the Audience who were awake, and were the reeling Conductors of thoſe, who only dreamt of what they ſhould have ſeen.

For ſome Time we drag'd on our unſuc⯑ceſsful Lives, without the leaſt Proſpect of an Alteration, that I at laſt gave up all Hopes and Expectations of ever enjoying a happy Moment. This, according to the uſual Cuſtom, made each wear an Eye of Coldneſs and Diſlike; 'till, after a long Series of Plagues, Madam Fortune, in one of her Frolicks, was pleaſed to pay us a ſmall Viſit, and during her ſhort Stay we began to be better reconciled, 'till the trumpery Slut tucked up her Tail of good Nature, and reduced us to our primitive Nothing; and ſour Looks, with diſaffected Minds, reſumed their Empire in the Breaſt of every Malecontent.

[206] In Proceſs of Time we went to Cirenceſter, where I informed the Reader I had been once before, with Mr. Linnett's Company: But Mr. Elrington, without any previous Notice, took a Place in the Stage-Coach for London, and, the very Night we came to the Town, left his Wife to manage the Company; in which I gave my Aſſiſtance, to take off from her as much of the Trouble as I poſſibly could.

Mr. Linnett, wanting at that Time ſome Auxiliaries, ſent one of his Company to en⯑gage me and my Friend to join him at Bath, where he then was, in a new-erected Theatre in Kingſmead-Street. But my Honour was ſo deeply engaged in Mrs. Elrington's Behalf, I would, on no Terms, leave her, as ſhe was pleaſed to compliment me with being her Right-hand; and, at that Time, not knowing the real Deſign of her Husband's going to London, looked on her as an injured Perſon, which doubly engaged my Attachment to her Intereſt: Though, I afterwards found, it was a concerted Scheme to ſix himſelf, if poſſible, with Mr. Rich; which proved almoſt abor⯑tive, he ſtaying but one Seaſon, from what Cauſe I ſhan't pretend to judge, and then went to Bath.

[207] His Wife ſoon followed, and I was left with ſix more beſides myſelf. One Scene and a Curtain, with ſome of the worſt of their Wardrobe, made up the Paraphanalia of the Stage, of which I was Prime Miniſter; and, though under as many Diſadvantages as a Set of miſerable Mortals could patiently endure, from the before - mentioned Rea⯑ſons, and an inexhauſtible Fund of Po⯑verty, through the General Bank of the whole Company, even to a Neceſſity of borrowing Money to pay the Carriage to the next Town, we all went into a joint Reſolution to be induſtrious; and got a Sufficiency to ſupport ourſelves and pay the Way, not only to that Town, but were decently ſet down in the next, with juſt enough to diſmiſs our Waggoner with Re⯑putation; and were then left to proceed upon freſh Credit, and contract the ſtrong⯑eſt Friendſhip we could with each believing Landlord.

As 'tis very common for even the low⯑eſt in Underſtanding to fancy themſelves Judges of Acting, I muſt give a curious Specimen of it in a Perſon who ſaw me, for want of a better, attempt the Part of [208] Hamlet. I was lucky enough to gain a Place in his Opinion; and he was pleaſed to expreſs his Approbation of me, by ſay⯑ing no Man could poſſibly do it better, be⯑cauſe I ſo frequently broke out in freſh Places.

But I had a much larger Share of his Eſteem after playing Scrub, which was in⯑deed infinitely more ſuitable to his Taſte; and left ſo ſtrong an Impreſſion on his Mind, that a Night or two after, when I was tragedizing in the Part of Pyrrhus, in The Diſtreſs'd Mother, he ſtepped from the Pit, and deſired me to oblige ſome of his Friends, as well as himſelf, by mixing a few of Scrub's Speeches in the Play; aſſuring me, it would give much more Satisfaction to the Spectators, though they liked me very well, he ſaid, in the Part I was acting.

This revived in my Memory the curious Performance at Columpton, and rendred me, for the reſt of the Night, infinitely a pro⯑perer Perſon for Scrub than Pyrrhus, as the Strangeneſs of his Fancy had ſuch an Effect on my riſible Faculties, I thought I ſhould never cloſe my Mouth again in the leaſt Degree of Serioſity.

[209] I imagine it is ſuch Judges as theſe, that occaſion that indolent Stupefaction in moſt Travelling-Players; and, as the lower Sort are fooliſh enough to be pleaſed with Buffoonery in Comedy, and Bellowing in Tragedy, without a Regard to Senſe or Nature in either, it makes them forgetful that there are, among the Country Gentle⯑men and Ladies, very great Judges, whoſe good Nature over-looks thoſe monſtrous Ab⯑ſurdities; but, at the ſame Time, if they took more Pains to pleaſe them, they would certainly find them more frequent in their Viſitation.

It is for want of this Conſideration in the Players, which makes the Favours they receive from Families of Diſtinction rather a Charity, than a genteel Reward, for, at beſt, their weak Endeavours to entertain a Set of ſenſible People, who would be glad to encourage the leaſt Spark of Decency and Induſtry.

I know this will be a Kind of Choak-pear to many of the Travelling-Gentry, but I am under no Sort of Uneaſineſs on that Account; and think, if they make a proper Uſe of the [210] Hint, they will have more Reaſon to thank me, than be offended at it.

After traverſing through ſome few Towns more, Mr. and Mrs. Elrington rejoin'd their Company, and we went to a Place called Minchin-Hampton, in Glouceſterſhire, where we were kindly invited by the Lord of the Manor, a worthy Gentleman; who was not only a great Benefactor, in Reſpect of the Buſineſs, but our Guardian and Protector, from the terrible Conſequences that might have enſued from a moſt ſhocking Cruelty, deſigned for the Company in general; but, luckily for the reſt, only put in Force againſt me and two more: Which was, by Dint of an Information, encouraged by a C—r at S—d who meanly ſupported a decayed Relation, by procuring him a ſpecial Warrant to apprehend all Perſons within the Limits of the Act of Par⯑liament.

This ignorant Blockhead carried his Au⯑thority beyond a legal Power, for almoſt every Traveller that went through the Town was examined by him, before they could paſs freely, and often made Sacrifices to his Intereſt.

[211] My Landlord, who was a worthy Wight likewiſe, was privy to the Plot laid againſt us; though affected infinite Concern when we were taken, and violently exclaimed againſt his Partner in this Contrivance, tho' they were equally concern'd. The Scheme was not intended to do Juſtice in regard to the Laws, but extort Money from the Players and the worthy Gentlemen, who, they were well aſſured, would ſtand by us in a Caſe of Extremity, as indeed he did. They carried on their Proceſs ſo far, as to take me and two of our Men, to Jail, where we were not under the leaſt Ap⯑prehenſions of going, from what my Land⯑lord had told us.

We waited in Court, expecting every Moment to be called upon, and diſmiſſed with a ſlight Reprimand: But, alas! 'twas not ſo eaſy as we thought, for we were beckoned to the other End of the Court, and told, that the Keeper of the Priſon in⯑ſiſted on our going into the Jail, only for a Shew, and to ſay we had been under Lock and Key. An Honour, I confeſs, I was not in the leaſt ambitious of; and for the Show, I thought 'twould never be over, [212] for it laſted from Nine in the Morning 'till the ſame Hour of the next; and had it not been for the generous and friendly Aſſiſtance of the before-mention'd Gen⯑tleman, I believe it would have held out 'till Doom's-day with me, for another Day muſt have abſoluteiy put an End to my Life.

Rage and Indignation having wrought ſuch an Effect on my Mind, it threw me almoſt into a Frenzy; and aroſe to ſuch a Height, that I very cordially deſired my Fellow-Priſoners would give me Leave to cut their Throats, with a faithful Promiſe to do the ſame by my own, in Caſe we were doomed to remain there after the Tryal.

They were ſorry to ſee me, they ſaid, ſo very much diſconcerted, but could by no Means comply with my Requeſt; en⯑deavouring, as much as poſſible, to keep up my Spirits, and bring me into Temper.

Several Times my Landlord came Back⯑wards and Forwards, giving us falſe Hopes of our being every Minute called upon. The laſt Viſit he made, I began to be quite [213] outragious, and told him all I conceived of him; uttering ſeveral bold Truths, not in the leaſt to the Advantage of his Charac⯑ter.

Away he went grumbling, and I never ſaw him 'till the next Morning, when he came to ſummons us to the Hall. The Evening wore apace, and the Clock ſtruck Eight, the dreadful Signal for the Gates to be lock'd up for the Night.

I offered Half a Guinea apiece for Beds, but was denied them; and, if I had not fortunately been acquainted with the Turnkey, who was a very good-natured Fellow, we muſt have been turn'd into a Place to lie upon the bare Ground, and have mixed among the Felons, whoſe Chains were rattling all Night long, and made the moſt hideous Noiſe I ever heard, there being upwards of two hundred Men and Boys under the dif⯑ferent Sentences of Death and Tranſporta⯑tion.

Their Rags and Miſery gave me ſo ſhock⯑ing an Idea, I begged the Man, in Pity, to hang us all three, rather than put us among ſuch a dreadful Crew. The very Stench of [214] them, would have been a ſufficient Remedy againſt any future Ills that could have hap⯑pened to me; but thoſe dreadful Apprehenſions were ſoon ended, by the young Fellow who was our Wardour for the Night, making Intereſt with a Couple of Shoe-Makers, who were impriſoned in the Womens Condemn'd-Hole; which, till they came, had not been occupied for a conſiderable Time.

Theſe two Perſons were confined, one for Debt, the other for having left his Fa⯑mily, with a Deſign to impoſe his Wife and Children on the Pariſh.

Extreamly glad were we to be admit⯑ted into the diſmal Cell; which, though the Walls and Flooring were formed of Flint, at that Time I was proud of en⯑tering, as the Men were neat, and their Bed (which my Companions only took Part of) entirely clean.

The two Gentlemen of the Craft had, the Day we were brought in, furniſhed themſelves with each a Skin, for Under-Leathers; which, being hollow, one with⯑in the other, I choſe for my Dormitory, and having a Pair of Boots on and a Great [215] Coat, rolled into my Leathern Couch, ſe⯑cure from every Evil that might occur from ſuch a Place, except a Cold which I got, occaſioned by the Dampneſs of my Bed-chamber.

As we were not there for any Crime, but that committed by thoſe who inform⯑ed againſt us, I had the good Fortune to prevail on my Friend the Turnkey to per⯑mit me to ſend for Candles and ſome good Liquor, to reward our kind Hoſts, and preſerve us from the dreadful Appre⯑henſions of getting each an Ague in our petrified Apartment.

I continued, for the moſt Part of the Night, very low ſpirited and in very ill Humour, 'till I was rouſed by the Drol⯑lery of one Mr. Maxfield, my Fellow-Suf⯑ferer, a good-natured Man, and of an odd Turn of Humour; who would not let me indulge my Melancholly, which he ſaw had ſtrongly poſſeſſed me, and inſiſted, as he had often ſeen me exhibit Captain Mac⯑heath in a Sham-Priſon, I ſhould, as I was then actually in the Condemned-Hold, ſing all the Bead-roll of Songs in the laſt Act, that he might have the Pleaſure of [216] ſaying, I had once performed IN CHA⯑RACTER.

I own, I was not in a Condition to be chearful, but the tender Concern of thoſe about me laid a Kind of Conſtraint on me to throw off my Chagrin, and comply with their Requeſt; which, when ended, I fair⯑ly fell aſleep for about an Hour, and dreamt of all the Plagues that had tormented my Spirits in the Day.

As ſoon as the Dawn of Day appeared, I ſat with impatient Expectation of the Turn⯑key's coming to let me into the freſh Air; and, to do him Juſtice, he came an Hour earlier on my Account to let us all look into the Yard, which is formed into Gra⯑vel-Walks, not unlike Gray's-Inn Gardens, though not kept up in that regular and nice Order.

But rough as it was, I thought it com⯑parable to the Garden of Eden; and queſ⯑tion much, when the firſt Pair beheld their Paradiſe, whether they were more tranſport⯑ed at the View, than I was when let out of my Cell.

[217] After I had ſauntered about for a Quar⯑ter of an Hour, deeply immerſed in Thought, down came the rattling Crew, whoſe hedious Forms and dreadful Aſpects, gave me an Idea of ſuch Horrors, which can only be ſuppoſed to centre in Hell itſelf. Each had his Crime ſtrongly imprinted on his Viſage, without the leaſt Tincture of Remorſe or Shame; and, inſtead of imploring for Mer⯑cy, impudently and blaſphemouſly arraigned the Judgment of the Power Divine, in bring⯑ing them to the Seat of Juſtice.

While I was ſurveying theſe miſerable and dreadful Objects, I could not poſſibly refrain from Tears, to ſee ſo many of my Fellow-Creatures entered Volunteers in the Service of that Being which is hourly prey⯑ing upon the weak and negligent Part of Mankind; and, as I too plainly ſaw, both Age and Infancy plunged in total, undiſtin⯑guiſhed Ruin.

About the Hour of Eight, we received the pleaſing News of our being ordered to appear in Court at Nine; and, the Joy of being re⯑moved, though but for a few Moments, from the Sight of theſe unhappy Wretches, was [218] ſuperior to that I felt, when delivered from the torturing Apprehenſion I had ſome Years before of ending my Life, by Famine, in the Marſhalſea.

But then the Dread of being remanded back to Priſon ſuddenly gave a Damp to my Tranſ⯑port; but, Heaven be praiſed, our kind Bene⯑factor ſent in the Night a ſpecial Meſſenger to be ready in the Seſſions-Houſe, with a large Quantity of Gold, to protect us from any threatning Danger.

I had not been in the Pen five Minutes, before I was call'd upon to receive a Letter of Comfort to myſelf and Friends; who, tho' they aſſumed a Gaiety the Night before, were heartily ſhock'd at appearing at the Bar among a Set of Criminals, the leaſt of whoſe Crimes not one of them would have dared to have been guilty of, though but in Thought.

However, we had the Pleaſure to ſee the wiſe J—(who, for Dint of Intereſt to his Kinſman, committed us) march out of Court juſt before our Cauſe came on; which ended in a very few Words, our kind Protector hav⯑ing laid our Plan of Safety ſo ſecurely with his Intereſt and Power, we were ſoon diſ⯑miſſed; [219] and can never, I think, be ſufficient⯑ly grateful in our Acknowledgements, for ſo tender and generous a Commiſeration of our Misfortune.

'Twas a ſecret Pleaſure to us, to know that the C—r was obliged to walk off, having rendred himſelf ſo contemptible to the Gentle⯑men on the Bench, by dabbling in ſuch dirty Work, that he was not only heartily deſpiſed by them, but ſtood a ridiculous Chance, if he had ſtaid 'till our Diſmiſſion, of being hooted out of Court: And, I believe, if he were to live to the Age of Methuſelah, this great Action of his Life would not be forgot.

'Tis no ſmall Comfort to me, that ſome of the beſt Gentlemen in and about that Place have dropped his Acquaintance on the Ac⯑count, as they conceived a Man of Senſe might have employed his Time and Thoughts more laudably, than in giving Countenance and Encouragement to an Action, which was founded upon Avarice, not Juſtice: For I can be upon Oath, and bring many more to juſti⯑fy the Truth of my Aſſertion, that they brought in a Bill of different Charges to the Amount of near Twelve Pounds, beſides a Quantity of Guineas it coſt the Gentleman who ſtood our Friend in the Affair.

[220] I have often heard of Peoples paying Money to avoid a Jail, but we were ſo cruelly im⯑poſed on, they made us pay Half a Guinea a-piece for going into one; and, though we had but twelve Poſt-Miles to ride, charged a Guinea a Head for conducting us to G—, beſides the Expences of our Horſes, which they ought to have found us, as we were after⯑wards informed.

Power, when inveſted in the Hands of Knaves or Fools, generally is the Source of Tyranny, which has been too often experi⯑enced: And had not our worthy Friend ſtood firmly by us, we muſt have innocently ſuffered, for labouring to keep ourſelves juſt above the Fears of ſtarving.

As we were not guilty of any Miſdemeanor every Body pitied our Diſtreſs, and heartily deſpiſed the Author of it. Our Friend, who gave us partly an Invitation, as he was a Per⯑ſon of great Worth and Power, was highly exaſperated, and took it as a high Indignity offered to himſelf, after he had given us En⯑couragement to preſume to object againſt his entertaining his Family (which was a nume⯑rous one) in an inoffenſive Manner; and which, as he reaſonably urged, kept many an [221] Idle Perſon from laviſhing their Subſtance at Alehouſes, equally deſtructive to their Healths and the Intereſt of their Wives and Children.

On our Return from G—, the Gentleman beſpoke a Play, and removed us out of the Little Town-Hall into the Great One, which was his Property; and, in deſpight of our Adverſaries, ſupported us, with a firm Pro⯑miſe to protect us, in Caſe of a ſecond Inva⯑ſion, if it coſt him Half his Eſtate: But, as they knew his Power and Reſolution both in⯑vincible, they never attempted to moleſt us afterwards.

Our Stay was but ſhort, after this unlucky Stroke of Fortune; though it was a bad Mat⯑ter well ended, Thanks to the Humanity of our generous Friend. We were heartily glad when we left the Place; and whenever I go to that, or any other, upon the ſame Expedi⯑tion, I'll give them leave to impriſon me for every Hour of Life to come.

The Autumn following Mr. Elrington and his Spouſe went again to Bath, and I was left as Conductor to the Company a ſecond Time. Juſt before they went, a Plot was laid to draw us into another Dilemma at Durſley; but we were upon our Guard, and luckily [222] eſcaped their Perſecution. In order to get quite out of their Reach, we went into ano⯑ther County, to a Town called Roſs in Here⯑fordſhire, where we met with tolerable Suc⯑ceſs, and from thence proceeded to Monmouth, in Wales; which, though a very large Place, we found it very difficult to get a bare Liveli⯑hood.

Chepſtow was our next Station, where I met with many Friends, particularly a Widow Lady; to whom, and her Family in general, I am under great Obligations, and ſhall ever with Pride acknowledge.

I had the Honour and Happineſs of obtain⯑ing the Friendſhip of another Lady, who lived within a Quarter of a Mile of Chepſtow, and often favoured me with friendly Letters when I went to Abergavenny; at the End of which Town I left Mr. Elrington, with a firm Deſign, at that Time, to quit all Thoughts of Playing.

I immediately took a very handſome Houſe with a large Garden, conſiſting of near three Quarters of an Acre of Ground, belonging to my Friend's Papa, a very worthy Gentleman, who had eminently diſtinguiſhed himſelf in Battle, in the Reigns of King William and [223] Queen Anne; but, in the Decline of Life, quitted the Service, and retired, having a very conſiderable Eſtate, to which his Daughter is ſole Heireſs.

Perhaps the Reader may think, that the re⯑peated Rebuffs of Fortune might have brought me to ſome Degree of Reflection, which might have regulated the Actions of my Life; but, that I may not impoſe upon the Opinions of the good-natured Part of the World, who might charitably beſtow a favourable Thought on me in that Point, I muſt inform them, that the Averſion I had conceived for Vaga⯑bondizing (for ſuch I ſhall ever eſteem it) and the good Nature of my Friends in Chepſtow, put it ſtrongly in my Head to ſettle there, to which End I determined to turn Paſtry-Cook and Farmer; and, without a Shilling in the Univerſe, or really a poſitive Knowledge where to get one, took Horſe from Abergavenny to viſit the young Lady, and hire the Houſe.

I muſt do her the Juſtice to ſay ſhe adviſed me to forgoe my Reſolution, and ſet before me all the Inconveniencies I afterwards la⯑boured under: But ſhe found me ſo deter⯑mined, ſhe dropped her Argument; and, be⯑ing of an obliging Temper, forwarded the repairing of the Houſe, that it might be [224] ready, at the appointed Time, for my Recep⯑tion.

To be ſhort, I went to it; but, that the whole Scene of my unaccountable Farce might be compleat, I not only involved myſelf, but the Gentlewoman, whom I have before-men⯑tioned, that travelled with me, in the ſame needleſs and unreaſonable Difficulties; for which I think myſelf bound in Honour to ask her Pardon, as I really was the Author of many Troubles, from my inconſiderate Folly, which nothing but a ſincere Friendſhip, and an uncommon Eaſineſs of Temper, could have inſpired her either to have brooked or to have forgiven.

As ſoon as I arrived at Chepſtow I began to conſider, that though I had got a Houſe with⯑out either Bed or Chair to lie or ſit on, it would be highly proper to ſeek out a Place of Reſt; and, that I might live as cheap as poſſible, took a ready-furniſhed Lodging for Nights, and wandered for a Fortnight up and down my empty Houſe, 'till Fortune came that Road to drop ſome Furniture into it.

I own it, I was ſecretly chagrin'd at my Exploit, but did not dare to make the leaſt Diſcovery of it to Mrs. Brown, who had very [225] juſtifiable Reaſons to reproach me for an In⯑diſcretion ſhe had prudently taken much Pains to prevent.

My firſt Deſign was to ſet forth in Paſtry. 'Tis true I had an Oven, but not a ſingle Penny to purchaſe a Faggot to light it; and for the Materials to make the Pies, they were equally uncomeatable. But I took Courage, and went to inform the Widow Lady of my Intention, and entreat the Favour of her Cuſ⯑tom.

As ſhe is, without Compliment, a Perſon of Senſe and Diſcernment, ſhe very humourouſly asked me all the natural and neceſſary Queſ⯑tions, concerning the Motive and Means by which I was to ſettle myſelf, as ſhe well knew I had not a Grain of the principal In⯑gredient towards exciting me to ſuch a Reſo⯑lution, or the effecting it.

I confeſs I was ſtrangely puzzled to anſwer her; and, after ſeveral Hums and Haws, told her, I hoped Fortune would favour my De⯑ſign, as I only wanted to get an honeſt and decent Living, which was no ſmall Recom⯑mendation to her Favour. After having ſmiled at my raſh Undertaking, ſhe admi⯑niſtred [226] that Kind of Comfort I ſtood moſt in need of at that Time.

To baking we went, and, partly through Pity and Curioſity, we took twenty Shillings the firſt Day. I then began to triumph greatly at my Succeſs, and thought it my Turn to upbraid my Friend, for having re⯑proached me for leaving the Stage.

I muſt not forget to inſert a ſtrong Deſire I had to go to the Major, on the Strength of my Succeſs, and hire a large Field of Graſs, and, inſtead of a Bed, thought of purchaſing a Horſe, to carry Goods to the neighbouring Markets; but, that I might not appear more conſpicuouſly ridiculous than I had done, Mrs. Brown wiſely diſſuaded me from ſuch a mad Scheme, and a few Weeks convinced me I had no Occaſion for ſuch a chargeable Conveyance of my Paſtry: For, when every Body's Curioſity was ſatisfied, I found a ter⯑rible Declenſion of Buſineſs.

However, I met with unprecedented Friend⯑ſhips; eſpecially from Val—ne M—s, Eſq who lives at P—d, a young Gentleman of a fair Character, and fine Eſtate. His Ge⯑neroſity enabled me to put the main Part of my Furniture into my Houſe; and, as to [227] Linnen, and many neceſſary Materials beſides, my good Friend, the young Lady before⯑mentioned, ſupplied me with them.

As I found one Buſineſs fall off, I reſolved to ſet up another, and went, in one of my extraordinary Hurries, to buy a Sow with Pig; but, to my great Diſappointment, after having kept it for near three Months, expecting it hourly to bring forth, it proved to be an old Barrow: And I, to make up the Meaſure of my prudent Management, after having put myſelf to double the Expence it coſt me in the Purchaſe, was glad to ſell it to a Butcher, for a Shilling or two leſs than I gave for it.

Thus ended my Notion of being a Hog-Merchant, and I having a Garden well ſtored with Fruits of all Sorts, made the beſt I could of that, 'till ſome villainous Wretches, in one Night's Time, robbed me of as much as would have yielded near three Guiness, beſides barbarouſly tearing up the Trees by the Roots, and breaking the Branches through fearful Haſte; being well aſſured, that the Gentleman who owned them would have puniſhed them to the utmoſt Rigour of the Law, had they been diſcovered.

[228] One Plague ſucceeding another, I reſolved to leave the Place, and try my Fate in ſome other Spot; but, behold! we were run a little aground, ſo that we were poſitively obliged to ſell the beſt Part of our Furniture to make up ſome Deficiencies, and we were once more in a bedleſs Condition.

With the neceſſary Utenſils for the Paſtry-Cook's Shop, and the friendly Aſſiſtance of ſome of our good Friends, we took Leave, and ſet out for a little Place, called Pill, a Sort of Harbour for Ships, five Miles of this Side of Briſtol. The Place itſelf is not unpleaſant, if it were inhabited with any other Kind of People than the Savages who infeſt it, and are only, in outward Form, diſtinguiſhable from Beaſts of Prey. To be ſhort, the Vil⯑lainies of theſe Wretches are of ſo heinous and unlimitted a Nature, they render the Place ſo unlike any other Part of the habitable World, that I can compare it only to the Anti-Chamber of that Abode we are admoniſh'd to avoid in the next Life, by leading a good one here.

A Boy there of eight or ten Years of Age is as well verſed in the moſt beaſtly Diſcourſe and the more dreadful Sin of Blaſphemy and [229] Swearing, as any drunken Reprobate of thirty; and he who drinks hardeſt, and excels moſt in theſe terrible Qualifications, ſtands ſo moſt in his Father's Favour.

There are ſome few that don't belong to the Boats, that are reaſonable Creatures; and I am amazed they can patiently bear to reſide, where there is ſuch a numerous Set of Cannibals. A Name they very juſtly de⯑ſerve; for, I believe, there are ſome among them, who would not ſcruple to make a Meal of their Fellow-Creatures.

I have ſeen many a ſuffering Wretch who has been Wind bound, ſent away Half naked, after they had ſpent their ready Money, who have been obliged to ſtrip themſelves of their Cloaths, and glad to part from a Thing worth twenty Shillings to obtain, with Diffi⯑culty, one to keep them from ſtarving, and that without any View of ever ſeeing it again: Nay, their Want of Principle and Chriſtianity is ſuch, that if they out-ſtay the Means of raiſing a Six-pence for a Bed, they will charitably turn them into the Street, to

[230] For near ſix Months my Friend and I reſided in this terrible Abode of Infamy and Guilt; but being ignorant, at our firſt coming, of what Kind of Mortals they were, we ſettled amongſt them, and did not find it an eaſy Matter to remove, though we went trembling to Bed every Night, with dreadful Apprehenſions of ſome ill Treatment before the Break of Day.

I took a little Shop, and becauſe I was reſolved to ſet off my Matters as grand as poſſible, I had a Board put over my Door, with this Inſcription,

BROWN, PASTRY-COOK, FROM LONDON:

At which Place I can't charge myſelf with ever having, in the Courſe of my Life, at⯑tempted to ſpoil the Ingredients neceſſary in the Compoſition of a Tart. But that did not ſignify, as long as I was a Londoner, to be ſure my Paſtry muſt be good.

While the Ships were coming in from Ireland (which is in the Months of June, July, and Auguſt) I had a good running Trade; but, alas! the Winter was moſt ter⯑rible, and if an Uncle of my Friend's (who [231] died while we were there) had not left her a Legacy, we muſt inevitably have periſhed.

About the Time the News came of her Money, we were involved to the Amount of about Four or Five and Thirty Shillings; and, if a Shilling would have ſaved us from total Deſtruction, we did not know where to raiſe it.

On the Receipt of the Letter I ſhowed it to the Landlord, hoping he would lend me a Guinea to bear my Charges to Mrs. Brown's Aunt, who lives in Os'fordſhire, where I was to go to receive her Legacy, which was a genteel one, and I ſhould have left her as a Hoſtage 'till my Re⯑turn.

But the incredulous Blockhead conceived the Letter to be forged; and, as he himſelf was capable of ſuch a Fraud, imagined we had artfully contrived to get a Guinea out of him, and reward him by running away in his Debt. But he was quite miſtaken, as he was afterwards convinced, and made a Thouſand aukward Excuſes for his Unkindneſs when we received the Money, and had diſcharged his trifling Demands.

[232] I conſulted on my Pillow what was beſt to be done, and communicated my Thoughts to my Friend; upon which we concluded, with⯑out ſpeaking a Word to any Body, both to ſet out and fetch the Money, according to Order, from her Relation's, though there was two very great Bars to ſuch Progreſs, in the Eye of Reaſon, but I ſtepped over both.

One was, having no more than a ſingle Groat in the World between us: And the other, my having been obliged to pledge my Hat at Briſtol a Fortnight before for Half a Crown, to carry on the anatomical Buſineſs, we hapleſsly purſued.

Yet notwithſtanding theſe terrible Diſaſters I was reſolved, at all Events, to go the Jour⯑ney. I took my Fellow-Sufferer with me, who was loſt in Wonder at ſo daring an En⯑terprize, to ſet out, without either Hat or Money, fourſcore Miles on Foot. But I ſoon eaſed the Anxiety of Mind ſhe laboured under, by aſſuring her, that when we got to Briſtol I would apply to a Friend, who would furniſh me with a ſmall Matter to carry us on to Bath.

[233] This pacified the poor Soul, who could ſcarce ſee her Way for Tears, before I told her my Deſign; which never entered my Imagi⯑nation, 'till we had got two Miles beyond the deteſted Place we lived in. Our Circum⯑ſtances were then ſo deſperate, I thought

As we were on our March, we were met by ſome of our unneighbourly Neighbours, who took Notice of my being in full Ca⯑reer, without a Hat; and of Mrs. Brown, with a Bundle in her Hand, which contained only a Change of Linnen for us, on our Travel.

They ſoon alarmed our Landlord with the Interview, with many Conjectures of our be⯑ing gone off; and concluded, my being bare⯑headed was intended as a Blind for our Ex⯑curſion: But let their Thoughts be what they would, we were ſafe in Briſtol by the Time they got Home to make their poli⯑tical Report; and I obtained, at the firſt Word, the timely Aſſiſtance our Neceſſities required to procure a Supper and Bed that [234] Night, beſides what ſerved to bear our Charges to Bath next Morning.

The only Diſtreſs I had to overcome, was to procure a Covering for my unthinking Head; but Providence kindly directed us to a Houſe where there was a young Journey⯑man, a Sort of a Jemmy-Smart, who dreſs'd entirely in Taſte, that lodged where we lay that Night. As I appeared, barring the want of a Hat, as ſmart as himſelf in Dreſs, he entered into Converſation with me; and, finding him a good-natured Man, ventured (as I was urged by downright Neceſſity) to beg the Favour of him to lend me a Hat, which, by being very duſty, I was well aſſured had not been worn ſome Time, from which I conceived he would not be in a violent Hurry to have it reſtored; and, framing an Excuſe of having ſent my own to be dreſs'd, eaſily obtained the Boon.

Next Morning, at the Hour of Five, we ſet out, and ſtaid at Bath 'till the Morn⯑ing following: Though I remember I was obliged to give the Landlady my Waiſtcoat for the Payment of my Lodging before we went to Bed, which I had the Comfort of redeeming, by the Help of Mr. Kennedy and Company, and ſet forwards on my Jour⯑ney [235] with the Favour they were pleaſed to be⯑ſtow on me.

I never received an Obligation in my Life that I was aſhamed to acknowledge, though I have very lately incurred the Diſpleaſure of a fine Lady, for mentioning a Perſon in my third Number, to whom I ſhall ever think myſelf moſt TRANSCENDANTLY OBLIGED; and ſhall never be perſuaded to forget their Humanity, or to reconcile Con⯑tradictions, and believe in Impoſſibilities.

As ſoon as I was empowered, by the Help of a little Caſh, we ſet out from Bath to Oxfordſhire; and, in three Days, arrived at the happy Spot, where we were furniſhed with that Opiate for Grief, the want of which had many tedious Nights kept us waking.

Our Journey Home was expedited, by taking a Double-Horſe from Whitney to Ci⯑renceſter; and now and then, for the reſt of the Way, mounting up into a Hay-Cart, or a timely Waggon.

When we returned to Briſtol, we met with ſeveral of the Pill Gentry, who were ſurprized to ſee us, and informed us how [236] terribly we had been exploded, as being Cheats and Run-aways; and though they themſelves, in our Abſence, were as inve⯑terate as the reſt of the vulgar Crew, were the firſt to condemn others for a Fault they were equally guilty of.

I returned the borrowed Hat, and went Home triumphant in my own—Paid my Landlord, and, as long as the Money laſt⯑ed, was the worthieſt Gentleman in the County; but when our Stock was exhauſt⯑ed, and we were reduced to a ſecond Ne⯑ceſſity of contracting a freſh Score, I was as much diſregarded as a dead Cat, with⯑out the Remembrance of a ſingle Virtue I was Maſter of, while I had a remaining Guinea in my Pocket.

Buſineſs daily decreaſing, from the want of Shipping coming in, and the Winter growing faſt upon us, we had no Proſpect before us, but of dying by Inches with Cold and Hunger; and, what aggravated my own Diſtreſs, was having unfortunately drawn in my Friend to be a melancholly Partaker of my Sufferings.

This Reflection naturally rouzed me into an honourable Spirit of Reſolution, not to [237] let her periſh through my unhappy and miſtaken Conduct, which I meant all for the beſt, though it unfortunately proved other⯑wiſe; and, that I might not ſtay at Pill 'till we were paſt the Power of getting away, I ſat down and wrote a little Tale, which filled up the firſt and ſecond Columns of a News-Paper, and got a Friend to introduce me to Mr. W—d, Printer, on the T—y; who engaged me, at a ſmall Pittance per Week, to write, and correct the Preſs, when Buſineſs was in a Hurry; which indeed it generally was, as he is a Man of Reputa⯑tion, and greatly reſpected.

I believe, if he had been perfectly aſ⯑ſured who I was, and had known how much I had it in my Power to have been uſeful to him, as well as myſelf, it had been much better for us both: However, it was kind in him to employ a diſtreſſed Perſon, and a Stranger, to whom he could not poſſibly be under the leaſt Obligation.

Having ſecured ſomething to piddle on, for I can call it no better, I ran back to Pill, to bleſs my Friend with the glad Ty⯑dings; and, as it was a long and dirty Walk from thence to Briſtol, and infinitely dangerous over Leigh-Down, which is full [238] three Miles in Length, beſides two miſe⯑rable Miles before that to trudge, we thought it better to give up what we had to the Landlord, to whom we were but Eighteen Shillings indebted, though we left him as much as fairly ſtood us in Five Pounds ready Money; but, if we had offered to have made a Sale of it, I knew their Con⯑ſciences would have given us Six-pence for that which might be worth a Crown or Ten Shillings: So we even locked up the Shop, and went with the Key in my Pocket to Briſtol; and, in two Days Time, I ſent it back with a Note, to let him know what we had left was entirely his own, for that we ſhould never more return.

In Truth I have been as good as my Word, and ſhall continue ſo; for if Buſi⯑neſs or Inclination ſhould ever excite me to take a Trip to Ireland, I would go Cheſ⯑ter Way: And if Travellers knew as much as I do of that horrid Seat of Cruelty and Extortion, they would all come into the ſame Determination.

Having thus comfortably withdrawn our⯑ſelves from this hated Place, we took a Lodging at Two Shillings per Week; and, if I had not had the good Fortune to be [239] kindly accepted on by a few Friends who were conſtantly inviting me, the remaining Part of my Wages woul'd not have been ſuf⯑ficient to have afforded us, with other Ex⯑pences, above two good Meals in a Week.

But Thanks to my Friends, who empower'd me to conſign it all to the Uſe of one, to whom I ſhould have thought, on this Oc⯑caſion, if every Shilling had been a Guinea, I had made but a reaſonable Acknowledgement, after having immers'd her in Difficulties which nothing but real Friendſhip and a tender Regard to my Health (which, through repeated Grievances, was much impaired) could have made her blindly inconſiſtent with her own Intereſt to give into, and ſo patiently endure.

This Buſineſs laſted for one Month exactly, and I found it impoſſible to ſubſiſt, without being troubleſome to Friends; and Mr. W—d not caring to enlarge my Income, I took it into my Head to try for a Benefit, and to that End printed ſome Bills in the Stile of an Ad⯑vertiſement, which were kindly preſented to me by my Maſter.

All was to be done under the Roſe, on Account of the Magiſtrates, who have not [240] ſuffered any Plays to be acted in the City for many Years, but notwithſtanding I ſlily ad⯑ventured to have Barnwell exhibited in the very Heart of it, at the Black Raven, in High-Street, where I had as many Promiſes as would have filled the Room (which was a large one) had it been twice as big: But, alas! they were but Promiſes, for inſtead of five and twenty Pounds, I had barely four, and abominably involved by the Bargain; in⯑ſomuch, I was obliged to march quietly off, and ſay nothing.

After I was gone, ſeveral pitied my Mis⯑fortune; and declared, if I would make a ſecond Attempt, I ſhould be made Amends for the Diſappointment of the former: But I thought it mighty well as it was, and, as I was ſafe in a whole Skin, would not run the Chance of being a ſecond Time deceived, nor the Hazard of being more deeply engaged than I was.

I was ſo miſerably put to my Shifts, that the Morning after my Malefit, I was obliged to ſtrip my Friend of the ownly decent Gown ſhe had, and pledged it to pay the Players, who came from Wells to aſſiſt me; which, to do them Juſtice, was a Difficulty they were entirely ignorant of.

[241] 'Twas no ſmall Mortification to me, not to have it in my Power to reward them gen⯑teelly for their Trouble; and more eſpecially ſo, as my own Daughter was one of the Number, with her Husband, whom ſhe im⯑prudently married, contrary to my Inclination, about three Years before.

Though I had no Fortune to give her, without any Partiality, I look on her a more advantageous a Match for a diſcreet Man, than a Woman who might bring one, and confound it in unneceſſary Expences, which I am certain Kitty will never do; and, had ſhe met with as ſober and reaſonable a Creature as herſelf, in the few Years they have had a Company, might have been worth a comfort⯑able Sum of Money, to have ſet them up in ſome creditable Buſineſs, that might have re⯑dounded more to their Quiet and Reputation.

But I fear that is as impoſſible to hope or expect, as 'twould be likely to unmarry them; which, had it been in my Power, ſhould have been done the firſt Moment I heard of the unpleaſing Knot's being tied: But, as it is,

As my Child was at Wells with her Company, Nature was more prevalent in that Point than Neceſſity to fix me there, for there was another Set of People I could have gone to thirty Miles off, a different Road; but, notwithſtanding my Diſlike to her Marriage, I wanted to be as near her as I could, and joined them at Wells, where I was very well acquainted; and, as much as Players can ex⯑pect, well regarded by the Beſt in the Town.

About three Years before, I had been there with Mr. Elrington's Company, and we met with uncommon Succeſs; but the laſt Time the Small-Pox raged violently there, and, if the Ladies and Gentlemen had not been extreamly kind, the poor Exhibiters might have been glad to have ſhared the Fate of the Invalids, to have been inſured of a Repoſitory for their Bones.

'Tis a common Obſervation, that Evils often produce good Effects, and ſuch my [243] Daughter found from the Generoſity of the Ladies, who made her ſeveral valuable Preſents, which enlarged their Wardrobe conſiderably; and, being a well-behaved Girl, that recom⯑mended her to their Conſideration, in reſpect of her private Character; and her publick Performance on the Stage, rendered her very pleaſing to the Audience in general.

I humbly entreat to be believed, when, without Partiality, I aver her Genius would recommend her to a Station in either Theatre, if properly made uſe of, as ſhe has an in⯑finite Share of Humour, that calculates her for an excellent Low-Comedian; though ſhe is obliged, having none equal to her Self, to appear in Characters in which her chief Merit conſiſts in being poſitively a ſenſible Speaker.

I once ſaw her play Horatia, in The Roman Father, and was aſtoniſhed to find her ſo truly affected with the Scene, where ſhe comes to upbraid Publius for the Murder of her Lover, and provoke her own Death from her Brother's Hand. I confeſs I was pleaſingly ſurprized, and beg Pardon for degenerating ſo far, as to ſpeak in Praiſe of ſo near a Relation, who really deſerved it; An Error my Family is not very apt to run into.

[244] A ſecond Time ſhe gave me equal Delight in the Part of Boadicea, which I ſhould never have ſuſpected from her uncultivated Genius; but ſhe proved ſhe had one, in very juſtly acquitting herſelf in that Character; but yet I had rather ſee her in Low-Comedy, as 'tis more agreeable to her Figure, and entirely ſo to the Oddity of her humourous Diſpoſition; and I wiſh ſhe was ſo ſettled, as to conſtantly play in that Walk, which is a very pleaſing one, and moſt uſeful when Players come to⯑wards the Decline of Life: For when they have out-lived the Bloom and Beauty of a Lady Townly or a Monimia, they may make very pleaſing Figures in a Mrs. Day or a Widow Lackit.

I wiſh the Girl may take this friendly Hint, now ſhe is young; as I am certain, in reſpect to her Years, ſhe may, in all Probability, live long enough to make a conſiderable Figure in Characters of that Caſt.

I ſtaid with her the Run of ſix Towns, the laſt but one of which was Honiton, in Devon⯑ſhire, where I had the Happineſs of gaining many Friends of Diſtinction; and perhaps ſhould have continued longer, but that I [245] received a Letter from my Brother, to inform me, Mr. Simpſon of Bath, had a Mind to engage me to prompt, and undertake the Care of the Stage, incidental to that Office.

As I was heartily tired of ſtrolling, and being too frequently impertinently treated by my Daughter's Husband, I readily embraced the Offer, and ſet out for Bath with my Friend (who had been as often and equally inſulted, by the little Inſignificant) and on my Arrival, Mr. Simpſon, in a Gentleman⯑like Manner, received me, and lent me a Sum of Money to equip me in my proper Character, which I repaid him Weekly out of my Salary, and thank him moſt ſincerely for the Favour.

From the Month of September to March I continued there, but the Fatigue of the Place was more than my Health or Spirits could eaſily ſupport; for, I am certain, the Prompters of either Theatres in London have not Half the Plague in ſix Months, that I have had in as many Days.

'Tis true Mr. Simpſon was Owner, and ought to have been MASTER OF THE HOUSE; but his good Nature, and Unwil⯑lingneſs to offend the moſt trifling Performer, [246] made him give up his Right of Authority, and rather ſtand neuter, when he ought to have exerted it.

The Hurry of Buſineſs in his Rooms, which were more methodically conducted than his Theatre, took up ſo much of his Time, 'twas impoſſible for him to pay a proper Attention to both. By this Means, what ought to have been a regular Government, was reduced to Anarchy and Uproar. Each had their ſeveral Wills; and but one, which was myſelf, bound to obey them all.

This any reaſonable Perſon will allow to be a hard and difficult Task, as I was not in⯑clined to offend any of them; and though they herded in Parties, I was reſolved to be a Stranger to their Diſputes 'till open Quarrels obliged me to become acquainted with them; and, in ſuch Caſes, I was often made uſe on as a Porter, to ſet theſe Matters to rights.

This, I confeſs, my Spirit could not eaſily brook; both in reſpect to my Father, as well as having been on a much better Footing, on a ſuperior Theatre, than any I was obliged to pay a daily Attendance on.

[247] I can be upon Oath, during the whole Time of my Reſidence at Bath, I had not, even on Sundays, a Day I could call my own: And Mr. Bodely, the Printer, can teſtify I have often left freſh Orders while he has been at Church, either for Alteration of Parts, or of Capital Diſtinctions in the Bills, without which very indifferent Actors would not otherwiſe go on.

I think 'twould have been a greater Proof of Judgment to have diſtinguiſhed themſelves on the Stage, than upon a Poſt or a Brick-wall; and I have often thought, when I have wrote the Word PERFORM'D, it would have been no Error to have changed it to DEFORM'D, of which I have often had melancholly Proofs from a Brace of Heroes, who, I believe, (one in particular) thought none equal to them. And truly I can't but be of their Minds, for two ſuch GREAT MEN were never ſeen before, and, it is to be hoped, never will again.

As to the Women, the Principal, which is Miſs Ibbott, is really deſerving of Praiſe and Admiration, as all ſhe does is from the Reſult of a very great and uncommon Genius. I own myſelf not very apt to be partial, but this [248] Gentlewoman ſtruck me into a moſt pleaſing Aſtoniſhment, by her Performance of many Characters; but moſt particularly, in the Part of Iſabella, in The Fatal Marriage. She not only drew the Audience into a moſt profound Attention, but abſolutely into a general Flood of commiſerating Tears; and blended Nature and Art ſo exquiſitely well, that 'twas im⯑poſſible not to feel her Sorrows, and bear the tendereſt Part in her Affliction.

I muſt confeſs I never was more truly affected with a tragical Performance, and was rendered incapable of reading a ſingle Syllable; but, luckily for Miſs Ibbott, ſhe is always ſo per⯑fect, a Prompter is a uſeleſs Perſon while ſhe is ſpeaking: And it is no Compliment to inſert what I told her when, ſhe came off; that

I am very certain there were ſeveral People of Quality down at Bath, who can teſtify the Truth of what I have ſaid of her; and I ſhould think it very well worth the while of the Maſters of either of the Theatres to take her Merit into Conſideration: And if ſhe had the Advantage of ſeeing Mrs. Cibber, Mrs. Woffington, or Mrs. Pritchard, in their [249] different Lights, it would make her as com⯑pleat an Actreſs as ever trod the Engliſh Stage.

The Merit of this Perſon was not a little conducive to the Intereſt of the Players in general, which was demonſtrated in the De⯑ficiency of the Nights Receipts whenever it happened that ſhe was out of a Play, which indeed was very ſeldom: But as Merit generally creates Envy, her Cotemporaries would ſcarce allow it her, either publickly or privately, not⯑withſtanding the politeſt Audiences teſtified it by a univerſal Applauſe, and they themſelves proved it by the Odds of their Revenues, when firſt Characters have been ſtuff'd up by thoſe who would have made better Figures as her Attendants, while ſhe had PERFORM'D THEM.

The Buſineſs in general was, according to all Accounts, that Seaſon better than they had known it for many paſt, and was greatly heightened by the univerſal Admiration of the Performance of the juſtly-celebrated Mr. Mad⯑dox, who engaged with Mr. Simpſon at a conſiderable Salary, though not more than he truly deſerved.

I believe the Comedians found him worthy of his Income, as he not only brought in [250] what paid his Agreement, but more than doubled that Sum, which they ſhared among them; yet, to my certain Knowledge, there was private Murmuring, even in reſpect to him, though they profitted by his Succeſs, and, in ſpight of their grudging Hearts, could not help being delighted at his ſur⯑prizing Feats of Activity on the Wire, which he is at Whitſuntide engaged to perform at Mr. Hallam's Wells, in Goodman's-Fields; and intends to entertain the Town with ſeveral new Things, which he has never as yet pub⯑lickly exhibited. I hope, not only in Reſpect to Mr. Maddox, but in Regard to Mr. Hal⯑lam, who is an honeſt, worthy Man, he will be conſtantly viſited by all People of true Taſte.

Soon after Mr. Maddox left Bath (as Mr. Fribble ſays) a moſt terrible Fracas happened to the States-General of both the Theatres, occaſioned by a mercenary View of Gain in an old Scoundrel, who was chiefly ſupported by charitable Donations; in which Mr. Simp⯑ſon (whoſe Humanity frequently prompts him to ſuch Acts) had been often very liberal to this Viper, who rewarded him by lodging an Information againſt his, and the Company in Orchard-Street.

[251] This put a Stop to the Buſineſs for about three Weeks, and was brought to a publick Proceſs; but, I believe, an Attempt of the Kind will never be made again.

As Bath is the Seat of Pleaſure for the Healthful, and a Grand Reſtorative for the Sick, 'tis looked on as a Priviledged-Place; and thoſe who come only to pleaſe themſelves expect a free Indulgence in that Point, as much as the Infirm do the Uſe of the Baths for their Infirmities; therefore a Suppreſſion of any Part of their innocent Diverſions was deemed, by the People of Quality, as the higheſt Af⯑front that could be offered them, eſpecially as they, and others of Diſtinction, are the abſo⯑lute Supports of the Place; which, without them, would be but a melancholly Reſidence for the Inhabitants, if Cuſtom had not made it faſhionably popular, being a Town of no particular Trade.

This Reflection ought to put the ſtrongeſt Guard upon them, not to be guilty of Offence themſelves, or countenance it in others; which was poſitively the Caſe in Relation to this Affair, as it was proved a certain A—raiſed a Contribution of twenty Guineas to [252] bribe the old Knave to put this cruel Deſign in Force againſt the Players.

This greatly exaſperated every Perſon of Condition; who, as it was an Infringement upon their Liberty of Entertainment, intereſt⯑ed themſelves greatly in Behalf of each Thea⯑tre, and carried their Point againſt the inſolent Invade of their Privileges.

During the Suſpenſion, I could ſcarce walk through the Grove but the very Chairmen had ſomething to ſay, by Way of Exulta⯑tion, on the Misfortunes of the poor Show-Folk, as they impudently and ignorantly term⯑ed them, not conſidering that Play-Nights very greatly enlarged their Incomes.

Among this Set of two-legged Horſes, were ſcattered ſome of the new-ſangled me⯑thodical Tribe, who bleſſed their Stars that there was an End put to Prophanation and Riot.

'Tis ſurprizing that the Minds of thoſe who wear the human Forms can be ſo mon⯑ſtrouſly infatuated, to be the conſtant Atten⯑dants on the canting Drones, whoſe Talents conſiſt only in making a Shoe, or a Pair of [253] Breeches. Have we not Thouſands of fine Gentlemen, regularly bred at Univerſities, who underſtand the true Syſtem of Religion? And are not the Churches hourly open to all who pleaſe to go to them, inſtead of creep⯑ing into Holes and Corners, to hear much leſs than the Generality of the Auditors are able to inform their hypocritical Paſtors?

I very lately viſited Mr. Yeates's New Wells, and was perſecuted for an Hour with Words without Meaning, and Sound without Senſe. I own, I ſhould as ſoon think of dan⯑cing a Hornpipe in a Cathedral, as having the leaſt Tincture of Devotion, where I had my⯑ſelf been honoured as a Heathen Deity, and dreaded as a roaring Devil.

No Mortal, but Mr. Yeates, could have thought of letting the Place for that Uſe; and, I believe, the firſt Symptoms of his Re⯑ligion will be diſcovered, if there ever ſhould be a Suppreſſion of this Mockery of Godli⯑neſs, in the Loſs of his ſanctified Tenants, and the ſad Chance of the Tenement ſtanding empty.

He muſt pardon me for this Liberty; but as we are both equall odd, in ſeparate Lights, [254] neither of us can ever be ſurprized or offended at what the other ſays or does.

My Warmth, I fear, had led me into an unneceſſary Digreſſion from my Story; but, I confeſs, I think the following theſe People ſo inconſiſtent with the Rules of Reaſon and Senſe, I have not Patience to think that any Creature, who is capable of diſtinguiſhing be⯑tween Right and Wrong, ſhould liſten to ſuch Rhapſodies of Nonſenſe, which rather confounds than ſerves to improve their Un⯑derſtandings; and conſequently, can be no Way inſtrumental to the Salvation of their Souls.

If publick Devotion, four Times a Day, is not ſufficient for that Torrent of Goodneſs they would be thought to have, their private Prayers at Home, offered with Sincerity and Penitence, they may be aſſured will be gra⯑ciouſly received, and prevent that Loſs of Time beſtowed in hearing the Goſpel turned topſy-turvy by thoſe, who really are as igno⯑rant of it as the Roſtrum they ſtand in, and whoſe Heads ſeem to be Branches of the ſame Root.

Notwithſtanding the Gaiety of Bath, they ſwarm like Waſps in June, and have left [255] their Stings in the Minds of many. I am cer⯑tain Rancour and Malice are particularly pre⯑dominant in them, which they diſcovered in an eminent Degree when the Houſes were ſhut up, by ſaying and doing all they could to have them remain ſo, to the Deſtruction of many Families, who were happy in a comfortable Subſiſtance ariſing from them.

I know 'twas ſome Guineas out of my Pocket, and though I grew heartily tired of my Office, I intended to have finiſhed the Seaſon, if this Diſaſter had not happened; but the Uncertainty of their Opening again, fixed in me a Reſolution to leave them, which was ſtrengthened by ſome ill-natured Rebuffs I had met with from the lower Part of the Com⯑pany, which I ſcarce thought worth my No⯑tice, having ſecretly determined to withdraw myſelf from that and the Fatigue, being, I think, more proper to be undertaken by a Man than a Woman.

One Thing I took monſtrouſly ill, which I cannot help mentioning: Some Perſons of Faſhion, who had ſeen me in London, had a Mind that I ſhould appear in the Part of Lord Foppington, in The Careleſs Husband; and, at their Requeſt, I rehearſed it in a Viſit, which they were ſo obliging to tell me, made [256] them more anxious for my playing it. As a Proof that they deſired it, they communicated their Deſign to him who ought to have been their Commander in Chief, and he agreed to their Propoſal, 'till two of his Subalterns, nei⯑ther of which were qualified to appear in the Character, oppoſed it; each hoping to ſupply it themſelves, without the Advantage either of that Eaſe in their Action neceſſary to the Part, or being able to utter a Syllable of French. But what provoked me farther, was trumping up a Story of my Brother's having laid an In⯑junction on Mr. Simpſon, never to permit me to go on the Stage, but particularly in that Character.

I believe the Town has had too many Proofs of my Brother's Merit, to ſuppoſe it poſſible for me to be vain enough to conceive I ſhould eclipſe it by my Performance, or that he was weak enough to fear it: And though I may be judged to have raiſed my Thoughts to the higheſt Pitch of Vanity, in believing that to be the real Caſe of my two Opponents in this Cauſe, I am poſitively aſſured it was the main Motive of their being ſo induſtriouſly em⯑ployed in preventing my coming on the Stage.

To ſay Truth, I began to be very angry with myſelf for ever condeſcending to ſit be⯑hind [257] the Scenes to attend a Set of People, that, I was certain, whatever Faults I might have in Acting, not one of them, Miſs Ibbott ex⯑cepted, was capable of diſcerning.

The Intention of my Playing was framed by my Friends, to give me an Opportunity of recommending myſelf to a Benefit, who faith⯑fully promiſed to exert their Intereſt for me; but their Scheme was ſoon fruſtrated, through the mean and dirty Artifice of theſe two Peo⯑ple, who, I am certain, ought to endeavour at making every one their Friends, of which I have ſome modeſt Reaſons to believe they fre⯑quently ſtand in need of.

Mr. Falkner very kindly offered to enter into the immediate Study of Lord Morelove, that the Play might not wait for him, and was pleaſed at a ſeeming Opportunity of my being more agreeably engaged than I was. But his good Nature is no Wonder, for I muſt do him the Juſtice to ſay I never heard him utter, or do a Thing, that was inconſiſtent with the true Character of a Gentleman.

This ill-natured Diſappointment raiſed ſuch Indignation and Contempt in me, that I as much abhorred to go to the Houſe as ſome People do to undergo a Courſe of nauſeous [258] Phyſick; but I ſoon removed myſelf, and, if they will forgive my ever having been there at all, I will promiſe them never to do ſo again.

Before I conclude the Account of my Bath Expedition, I cannot avoid taking Notice of a malicious Aſperſion, thrown and fixed on me as a Reaſon for leaving it; which was, That I deſigned to forſake my Sex again, and that I poſitively was ſeen in the Street in Breeches.

This I ſolemnly avow to be an impertinent Falſhood, which was brought to London and ſpread itſelf, much to my Diſadvantage, in my own Family; where I was informed it was delivered to them as a Reality, by an Actreſs that came to Town, ſoon after I quitted Bath. I gueſs at the Perſon, but, as I know her to be half mad, muſt neither wonder or be angry at her Folly; yet, as ſhe has ſome⯑times Reaſon ſufficient to diſtinguiſh between Truth and Falſhood, am ſurprized ſhe ſhould meanly have recourſe to the latter, to make me appear ridiculous, who never gave her the leaſt Provocation to do me ſo apparent an Injury. My only Reaſon for not ſtaying, was an abſolute Abhorrence to the Office I was in, and which I would not again undertake for Ten Guineas per Week.

[259] It happened, at the Time I left Bath, there was, without Exception, the moſt deplorable Set of Non-Performers at Bradford that ever wrecked the Heart of Tragedy, or committed Violence on the Ears of the Groundlings. I cannot ſay, with Shakeſpear, They were Per⯑riwig-pated Fellows, for there was not a Wig and a Half throughout the whole Company; and, I believe, there was not above two Men that could boaſt of more than an equal Quan⯑tity of Shirts.

Buſineſs, they had none—Money, ſo long a Stranger to them, that they were in poor Sharp's Condition, and had almoſt forgot the Current Coin of their own Country. With theſe pleaſing Proſpects of Deſpair, I joined their Community; and, as my Mind was un⯑loaded from the Uneaſineſs I ſuffered from a Fund of impertinent Behaviour and everlaſting Fatigue, greatly prejudicial to my Health, I fat quietly down, reſolving not to repine at the worſt that could happen, for the ſhort Time I intended to ſtay with them.

A young Man at Bath had a Mind to indulge himſelf with a Mouthful of Tra⯑gedy; but, that he might have a Bellyful at once, gormandized the Part of Othello, which [260] brought us a good Houſe, and was a very ſea⯑ſonable Help, for we eat. Our Landladies ſmiled, and we could call about us without the uſual Tremor that had attended our Spirits for a Fortnight before, with the terrible Ap⯑prehenſions of being anſwered with a Nega⯑tive, or ſerved with reproachful Doubts of their being ever paid.

A very few Days entirely broke up this disjoined Company, and we herded in Par⯑ties. My Friend and I went with another Manager, almoſt as rich and wiſe as him we left; when, after having ſtarved for two or three Towns, we received a very groſs Af⯑front, on which I went to the Devizes, where the above-mentioned notable Gentleman, with his Wife and a young Fellow, beſides our two ſelves, made up the whole Totte.

They concluded we ſhould play there; but rather than ſuffer an Inſolence from ſuch Mortals, even in the greateſt Severity of For⯑tune, I rather choſe to put myſelf to the ut⯑moſt Inconveniencies I could poſſibly ſuffer. As a Proof whereof; not having a Farthing in the World, I ſold a few trifling Things for Four Shillings; and, with that ſcanty Sum, ſet out from the Devizes in Wiltſhire, to Rumſey, in Hampſhire, which, over Salis⯑bury-Plain, [261] is full forty Miles: But as there are no Houſes over that long, ſolitary Walk, allowed to receive Travellers, we went under the Plain through all the Villages, which lengthened our Journey full twenty more.

Our Night's Expences, for Lodging and Supper, came to Nine-pence, ſo we poſitively had no more than Three Shillings and Three-pence to ſupport us for ſixty Miles.

My Friend, as ſhe had great Cauſe, began, though in a tender Manner, to reproach me for having left Bath; and more eſpecially, as Miſs Ibbott, Mr. Falkner, Mr. Giffard, and many more, who came to ſee the Comical Humours of the Moor of Venice, at Bradford, uſed many forcible Arguments to make me return: Which I ſhould have done, but that I happened to take Offence at ſomething ſaid to me on that Head by a particular Perſon, who notwithſtanding I believe meant well; but being perhaps in a peeviſh Mood, as all the World at different Times are more or leſs, I perſiſted in my Reſolution of not going back; and hope it will be no Affront to the theatrical Community at Bath, to aſſure them from my Heart, I never once repented it, but rather pitied my Succeſſor for being encum⯑bered [262] with a very fatiguing and unthankful Office.

When I ſet out from Devizes, I ſtood de⯑bating near an Hour on the Road, whether we ſhould march for London or Hampſhire, as our Finances were equally capable of ſerving us to either Place: But Nature aſſerted her Right of Empire in my Heart, and pointed me the Road to pay my Child a ſecond Viſit; and after a moſt deplorable, half-ſtarving Jour⯑ney, through intricate Roads and terrible Showers of Rain, in three Days Time, we ar⯑rived at Rumſey, having parted from our laſt Three Half-pence to ride five Miles in a Wag⯑gon, to the great Relief of our o'er-tired Legs.

It may be ſcarce believed that two People ſhould travel ſo far upon ſo ſmall a Pittance, who had not been from their Birth enured to Hardſhips; but we poſitively did, and, in the extream Heat of the Day, were often glad to have recourſe to a clear Stream to quench our Thirſt, after a tedious, painful March; not only to ſave our Money, but enable us to go through the Toil of the Day, 'till the friendly Inn received us, where our over⯑wearied Spirits were lulled by Sleep into a Forgetfulneſs of Care.

[263] I was queſtioned, not long ſince, whether it was poſſible for me to have run through the ſtrange Viciſſitudes of Fortune I have given an Account of, which I ſolemnly declare I am ready to make Oath of the Truth of every Circumſtance; and, if any particular Perſon or Perſons require it, will refer them to Hun⯑dreds now living, who have been Witneſſes of every Article contained in my Hiſtory: Nor would I preſume to impoſe a Falſhood, where, as I was deſired to give a real Account, Truth was ſo abſolutely neceſſary; and, I believe, the Reader will find I have paid ſo ſtrict a Regard to it, that I have rather painted my own ridiculous Follies in their moſt gla⯑ring Lights, than debarred the Reader the Pleaſure of laughing at me, or proudly con⯑cealed the utmoſt Exigencies of my Fate: Both which may convince the World, that I have been faithful in my Declaration ei⯑ther Way; for none, I believe, deſires, through Frolick alone, to make Sport for others, or excite a Pity they never ſtood in need of.

My Stay with my Daughter was but ſhort, as I had made a conſiderable Progreſs in Mr. Dumont's Hiſtory; which, as I had de⯑termined not to lead that uncomfortable Kind [264] of Life any longer, I thought I could eaſily finiſh, during the weekly Publication; and frequently declared my Intention to my Daughter and her Husband, when I was at Newport in the Iſle of Wight, with a poſi⯑tive Aſſurance that I would not go any far⯑ther with them.

This they either did not, or were not willing to believe, notwithſtanding my fre⯑quent Repetition of it; and though I pro⯑miſed to make them happy with what might revert to me through my little Labours, they injudiciouſly conceived I was doing them an Injury, when, as I ſhall anſwer to Hea⯑ven, I intended it to turn equally to their Account as to my own: But a want of Underſtanding and good Mind on the one Part, and a too implicit Regard and Obe⯑dience on the other, led them both into an Error they had better have avoided.

I would not have the World believe, not⯑withſtanding my Averſion to the Choice my fooliſh Girl has made, that I would not, in all reaſonable Reſpects, have every Action of her Life correſpondent with the neceſſary Duty of a Wife, which, I am certain, never can or ſhould exempt her from that ſhe owes [265] me; who muſt, while we both exiſt, be un⯑doubtedly her Mother.

To be ſhort, we parted; and, 'till I could turn myſelf about, I went with another of their Company (who left them, through Fears of the Small-Pox) to Lymington, where my Daughter enſlaved herſelf for Life: From thence to Fareham, where, under a Pretence of bringing over ſome Hands to help us out, we being but ſix in Number, my Daughter's Spouſe came only with a cruel Deſign to take away two of our Hands, in pure Spight to me; but, againſt his horrid Inclination, or Knowledge, he did me the greateſt Piece of Service in the World, for I made a firm Re⯑ſolution never more to ſet my Foot on a Country Stage.

Since the pitiful Villainy of Strollers could reach one ſo nearly as one's own Blood, I thought it then high Time indeed to diſ⯑claim them: Though, I am well aſſured, the Girl would not have been guilty of the Crime of depriving her Mother of the Morſel of Bread ſhe ſtruggled for, had ſhe not been en⯑forced to it by a blind Obedience to an incon⯑ſiderable Fool.

[266] I was monſtrouſly aſhamed to ſee an in⯑nocent Man, who was the Manager where I was then engaged, led into Difficulties, ariſing from an impudent Revenge on me I did not deſerve, which the young Gentleman was too ſenſible of, and was not more concerned on his own, than my Account.

I prevailed on him to ſteer his Courſe to London; from whence, if his Affairs could have been properly adjuſted, I abſolutely in⯑tended to have returned for a ſhort Time into the Country with him, from a Point of Gratitude and Honour, to make him in Part Amends for the Injuries he had ſuſtained from my Son-in-Law; and I ſhall think he has an everlaſting Claim, on that Score; to any Act of Friendſhip within my Power, when⯑ever he thinks it conſiſtent with his Intereſt to require it.

This good-natur'd, injur'd Perſon, had not only himſelf but a Wife and Child, excluſive of my unfortunate Phiz, to provide for, with⯑out the leaſt Proſpect of doing it; but, as I urged him ſo ſtrenouſly to go to London, I was determined to contrive the Means, and applied to a Friend of his, who very ge⯑nerouſly complied with the Requeſt I made [267] in his Behalf, and away we went for Portſ⯑mouth, hoping to have been Time enough for the Waggon which ſet out that Day.

We were unluckily too late, which obliged us to retard our Journey two Days, and re⯑mained at Portſmouth on Expences; which was a terrible Diſaſter, as our Finances were at beſt but ſlender: But had they been much worſe, I was reſolved to ſee London, by Heaven's Permiſſion, if I had been obliged to have been paſſed to it, being worn out with the general Plagues of Diſappointment and ill Uſage, that are the certain Conſequentials of a ſtrolling Life.

When I ſet my Foot upon▪ London Streets, though with only a ſingle Penny in my Pocket, I was more tranſported with Joy, than for all the Height of Happineſs I had, in for⯑mer and at different Times, poſſeſſed.

I hope thoſe who read the Deſcription I have given of the Inquietudes that all muſt ex⯑pect to meet with, who come under the im⯑pertinent Power of Travelling-Managers, will make a proper Uſe of it, by never forſaking a good Trade or Calling, of what Kind ſoever, to idle away their Lives ſo unprofitably to [268] themſelves, and too often diſadvantagiouſly to the Inhabitants of many an unſucceſsful Town.

I won't pretend to ſay, that all Heads of Companies are without a Rule of Exception; but, I muſt confeſs, thoſe I have had to deal with, and that very lately too, are what I have before deſcribed: And I doubt not but there are Numbers of my former Fellow-Sufferers, who are of my Opinion.

Thank Heaven, I have not, nor ever intend to have, any farther Commerce with them, but will apply myſelf cloſely to my Pen; and, if I can obtain the Honour and Favour of my Friends Company, at an Annual Benefit, I will, to the Extent of my Power, endeavour to en⯑tertain them with my own Performance, and provide the beſt I can to fill up the reſt of the Characters.

I ſhall very ſhortly open my oratorical Academy, for the Inſtruction of thoſe who have any Hopes, from Genius and Figure, of appearing on either of the London Stages, or York, Norwich, and Bath, all which are reputable; but will never adviſe or encourage any Perſon to make themſelves VOLUNTARY VAGABONDS, for ſuch not only the LAWS, but the Opinion of every reaſonable Perſon, [269] deems thoſe itinerant Gentry, who are daily guilty of the Maſſacre of dramatick Poetry. But of them, no more! but a laſting, and long Farewel!

When I firſt came to Town, I had no Deſign of giving any Account of my Life, farther than a trifling Sketch, introduced in the Pre⯑face to Mr. DUMONT'S Hiſtory, the firſt Number of which will ſhortly make its Appearance, and I hope will be kindly re⯑ceived by my worthy Friends, who have favoured me in this Work; which I ſhould never have undertaken, had I not been poſitively and ſtrongly urged to it, not conceiving that any Action of my Life could claim that At⯑tention I find it has, by the large Demand I have had for my weekly Numbers throughout England and Wales; for which I humbly offer my ſincereſt Thanks, and ſhall ever own myſelf not only indebted, but highly honoured.

As I propoſe my Pen to be partly my Sup⯑port, I ſhall always endeavour to render it an Amuſement to my Readers, as far as my Capacity extends; and, as the World is ſenſible I have no VIEW OF FORTUNE, but what I muſt, by HEAVEN'S ASSISTANCE, ſtrike out of myſelf, I hope I ſhall find a Continuance [270] of the Favour I at preſent am bleſſed with, and ſhall think it my Duty moſt carefully to preſerve; not only in Regard to my own Intereſt, but from a grateful Reſpect to thoſe who kindly confer it.

I entreat the Readers to excuſe ſome Faults, which were Slips of the Preſs, occaſioned through a Hurry of Buſineſs, that rendered it impoſſible to give Time for a proper Inſpection, either by me or the Printer; who has been greatly hurried, on Account of the Benefits at both the Theatres, which he is indiſpenſibly obliged to pay Regard to, in Point of Time.

'Tis generally the Rule to put the Summary of Books of this Kind at the Beginning, but as I have, through the whole Courſe of my Life, acted in Contradiction to all Points of Regularity, beg to be indulged in a whimſi⯑cal Concluſion of my Narrative, by intro⯑ducing that laſt, which I will allow ſhould have been firſt. As for Example:

This Day, April 19, 1755, is publiſhed the Eighth and Laſt Number of A Narrative of the Life of Mrs. CHARLOTTE CHARKE, with a Dedication from and to myſelf: The propereſt Patroneſs I could have choſen, as I [271] am moſt likely to be tenderly partial to my poetical Errors, and will be as bounteous in the Reward as we may reaſonably imagine my Merit may claim.

This Work contains, 1ſt, A notable Pro⯑miſe of entertaining the Town with The Hiſ⯑tory of HENRY DUMONT, Eſq and Miſs CHARLOTTE EVELYN; but, being univer⯑ſally known to be an odd Product of Nature, was requeſted to poſtpone that, and give an Account of myſelf, from my Infancy to the preſent Time.

2dly, My natural Propenſity to a Hat and Wig, in which, at the Age of four Years, I made a very conſiderable Figure in a Ditch, with ſeveral other ſucceeding mad Pranks. An Account of my Education at Weſtminſter. Why did not I make a better Uſe of ſo happy an Advantage!

3dly, My extraordinary Skill in the Science of Phyſick, with a Recommendation of the neceſſary Uſe of Snails and Gooſeberry Leaves, when Drugs and Chymical Preparations were not comeatable. My natural Averſion to a Needle and profound Reſpect for a Curry-Comb, in the Uſe of which I excelled moſt young Ladies in Great-Britain. My extenſive Knowledge in [272] Gardening; not forgetting that neceſſary Ac⯑compliſhment for a young Gentlewoman, in judiciouſly diſcharging a Blunderbuſs or a Fowling-Piece. My own, and the lucky Eſcape of Life, when I run over a Child at Uxbridge.

4thly, My indiſcreetly plumping into the Sea of Matrimony and becoming a Wife, before I had the proper Underſtanding of a reaſonable Child. An Account of my coming on the Stage. My uncommon Succeſs there. My Folly in leaving it. My Recommendation of my Siſter Marples to the Conſideration of every Perſon who chuſes to eat an elegant Meal, or chat away a few Moments with a humourous, good-natured, elderly Landlady. My turning Grocer, with ſome wiſe Remarks on the Riſe and Fall of Sugars and Teas. An unfortunate Adventure, in ſelling a Link. A ſhort Account of my Father and Mother's Courtſhip and Marriage.

5thly, A faithful Promiſe to prefer a Bill in Chancery againſt my Uncle's Widow, who has artfully deprived his Heirs at Law of a very conſiderable Fortune.—N. B. The old Dame may be aſſured I will be as good as my Word.—My keeping a grand Puppet-Shew, and loſing as much Money by it as it [273] coſt me. My becoming a Widow, and being afterwards privately married, which, as it proved, I had better have let alone. My going into Mens Cloaths, in which I continued many Years; the Reaſon of which I beg to be excuſed, as it concerns no Mortal now living, but myſelf. My becoming a ſecond Time a Widow, which drew on me inexpreſ⯑ſible Sorrows, that laſted upwards of twelve Years, and the unforeſeen Turns of Providence, by which I was conſtantly extricated from them. An unfortunate Interview with a fair Lady, who would have made me Maſter of herſelf and Fortune, if I had been lucky enough to have been in Reality what I ap⯑peared.

6thly, My endeavouring at a Reconciliation with my Father. His ſending back my Let⯑ter in a blank. His being too much governed by Humour, but more ſo by her whom Age cannot exempt from being the lively Limner of her own Face; which ſhe had better neglect a little, and pay Part of that Regard to what ſhe ought to eſteem THE NOBLER PART, and muſt have an Exiſtance when her painted Frame is reduced to Aſhes.

7thly, My being Gentleman to a certain Peer; after my Diſmiſſion, becoming only an [274] Occaſional Player, while I was playing at Bo-peep with the World. My turning Pork-Merchant; broke, through the inhuman Ap⯑petite of a hungry Dog. Went a Strolling. Several Adventures, during my Peregrination. My Return, and ſetting up an Eating-Houſe in Drury-Lane; undone again, by pilfering Lodgers. Turning Drawer, at St. Mary-la-Bonne. An Account of my Situation there. Going to the Hay-Market Theatre with my Brother. His leaving it. Many Diſtreſſes ari⯑ſing on that Account. Going a Strolling a ſecond Time, and ſtaying near nine Years. Several remarkable Occurrences, while I was Abroad; particularly, my being ſent to G—Jail, for being an Actor; which, to do moſt Strolling-Players Juſtice, they ought not to have the Laws enforced againſt them on that Score, for a very ſubſtantial Reaſon. My ſettling in Wales, and turning Paſtry-Cook and Farmer. Made a-ſmall Miſtake, in turning Hog-Merchant. Went to the Seat of Deſtruction, called Pill. Broke, and came away. Hired myſelf to a Printer at Briſtol, to write and correct the Preſs. Made a ſhort Stay there. Vagabondized again, and laſt Chriſtmas returned to London, where I hope to remain as long as I live.

[275] I have now concluded my Narrative, from my Infancy to the Time of my returning to London; and, if thoſe who do me the Honour to kill Time by the Peruſal, will ſeriouſly re⯑flect on the manifold Diſtreſſes I have ſuffered, they muſt think me wonderfully favoured by Providence, in the ſurprizing Turns of For⯑tune, which has often redeemed me from the devouring Jaws of total Deſtruction, when I have leaſt expected it.

I WISH THE MERCIFUL EXAMPLE OF THE GREAT CREATOR, WHO NEVER YET FORSOOK ME, had prevailed on the Mind of him who, by Divine Ordination, was the Author of my Being; and am ſorry that he ſhould ſo o'er-ſhoot his Reaſon as not to conſider, when I only asked for Bleſſing and Pardon, he ſhould deny that which from a Superior Power he will one Day find neceſſary himſelf to implore: And I HOPE HIS PRAYER WILL BE ANSWERED, AND THAT HEAVEN WILL NOT BE DEAF TO HIM, AS HE HAS BEEN TO ME.

I cannot recollect any Crime I have been guilty of that is unpardonable, which the Denial of my Requeſt may poſſibly make the [276] World believe I have; but I dare challenge the moſt malicious Tongue of Slander to a Proof of that Kind, AS HEAVEN AND MY OWN CONSCIENCE CAN EQUALLY AC⯑QUIT me of ever having deſerved that dread⯑ful Sentence, OF NOT BEING FORGIVEN.

The Errors of my Youth chiefly conſiſted in a thoughtleſs Wildneſs, partly owing to having too much Will of my own in Infancy; which I allow was occaſioned by an over Fondneſs, where I now unhappily find a fix'd Averſion: But notwithſtanding that Unkind⯑neſs, Nature will aſſert her Right, and tenderly plead in the Behalf of him, who, I am certain, through Age and Infirmity, rather than a real Delight in Cruelty, has liſtned too much to an invidious Tongue, which had been more gracefully employed in HEALING, NOT WIDENING A BREACH BETWEEN A FATHER AND A CHILD, who wanted only the Satisfaction of knowing her Name was no longer hateful to him; who, in ſpight of Fortune's utmoſt Rigour, I muſt think myſelf bound, by all Laws both Di⯑vine and Human, ſtill to cheriſh in my Heart and tenderly revere.

As I have nothing farther to entertain my Friends with, as to my Life, I ſhall, with the [277] humbleſt Submiſſion, take my Leave of them; and, as I deſign to paſs in the Catalogue of Authors, will endeavour to produce ſome⯑thing now and then to make them laugh, if poſſible; for I think 'tis Pity to draw Tears from thoſe, WHO HAVE SO GENEROUSLY CONTRIBUTED TOWARDS MAKING ME SMILE.