A COLLECTION Of the Moral and Inſtructive SENTIMENTS, MAXIMS, CAUTIONS, and REFLEXIONS, Contained in the Hiſtories of PAMELA, CLARISSA, and Sir CHARLES GRANDISON.
Digeſted under Proper HEADS, With References to the Volume, and Page, both in Octavo and Twelves, in the reſpective Hiſtories.
To which are ſubjoined,
LONDON: Printed for S. Richardſon; And Sold by C. HITCH and L. HAWES, in Pater-noſter Row; J. and J. RIVINGTON, in St. Paul's Church-Yard; ANDREW MILLAR, in the Strand; R. and J. DODSLEY, in Pall-Mall; And J. LEAKE, at Bath. M.DCC.LV.
PLUTARCH, that juſtly admired philoſopher, who has greatly ob⯑liged the world by his writings, and, amongſt theſe, by the many curious Apophthegms he has given us of the wiſe and good men of antiquity, tells us, ‘"That Socrates, meeting one day with Menon, whom he conſidered as a man well exerciſed in all the varieties of converſa⯑tion, as well as a great proficient in ſpecu⯑lative wiſdom, aſk'd him, WHAT IS VIR⯑TUE? And that Menon anſwer'd, There were proper virtues for Youth and Old-age, [iv] for Man and Woman, for Magiſtrate and Private perſon, for Maſter and Servant. An anſwer, which (the writer ſays) excited the admiration and applauſe of Socrates."’
But, what would this wiſe heathen have ſaid, and how much greater would have been his tranſport, had his friend Menon, by way of anſwer, preſented him with writings, in which he had entered minutely into the nature of the Virtues proper for ſuch different Ages, Sexes, and Stations; had he deſcribed theſe ſocial ex⯑cellencies, ſo affectingly, as to command atten⯑tion, ſo accurately, as to prevent miſtake, and ſo invitingly, as to engage imitation!
But a delineation of moral Virtue, like this, was beyond the powers of human Rea⯑ſon, and the utmoſt efforts of antient Philoſo⯑phy. And it is to REVELATION (that greater light to rule the moral world) that we owe the more perfect knowledge, not only of Religion, in matters relative to GOD, but of Virtue alſo, in matters relative to ourſelves, and one another. No wonder, therefore, that what Menon only mentioned in the general, and what even So⯑crates could not have deſcribed juſtly in the particulars, ſhould have been executed in theſe [v] latter times, with greater clearneſs and pre⯑ciſion.
And yet, whatever improvements have been made by Chriſtians in the ſyſtem of Moral Duty; how powerfully ſoever men are now exhorted to act like reaſonable and religious be⯑ings; how ſtrongly ſoever thoſe exhortations are enforced by the ſurer and more animating ſanctions of the Goſpel; yet—is it not too viſible, that immorality and irreligion ſtill ob⯑tain in the lives of many, and, perhaps, (dread⯑ful thought!) of the majority? And ſhall not every man, who is convinced of the real im⯑portance of virtuous principles and practices, and of the very frequent apoſtaſy from them, ſtand forth, and prevent, as far as in him lies, this alarming degeneracy from growing more prevalent?
Many (it is acknowledged, with pleaſure and with gratitude) have been the laudable at⯑tempts of writers, in our own country, to ob⯑tain this end; and theſe both from the clergy and laity. And a valuable acceſſion has been made, within the laſt fourteen years, by an author modeſtly anonymous, in his Three Works called, PAMELA, CLARISSA, and [vi] Sir CHARLES GRANDISON! Works, which amiably illuſtrate, and ſtrongly enforce, the proper Virtues of Man and Woman, Parent and Child, Old-age and Youth, Maſter and Ser⯑vant! Each of them commuicated in a re⯑gular collection of Familiar Letters, ‘"written to the moment, while the heart is agi⯑tated by hopes and fears, on events un⯑decided."’ A method which muſt engage more ſtrongly, and prove far more intereſt⯑ing to, the reader, than a cold, unanimating narrative of events long ſince determined.
With ſuch a knowledge of life and manners, as is diſplayed in thoſe Works; with a capa⯑city to entertain with wit, and enliven with humour, as well as to correct with delicacy, and exhort with dignity; we cannot but greatly reſpect the man, who, in an age like this, has attempted to ſteal upon the world reformation, under the notion of amuſement; who has found the expedient of engaging the private attention of thoſe, who put themſelves out of the reach of public exhortation; pur⯑ſuing to their cloſets thoſe who fly from the pulpit; and there, under the gay air, and captivating ſemblance of a Novel, tempting [vii] them to the peruſal of many a perſuaſive Sermon.
In order to render theſe Letters more com⯑pletely uſeful, in this volume are collected their various important Maxims, digeſted un⯑der their general heads; with references from each Maxim to its proper volume and page. A work this, that has not been more pro⯑ductive of trouble, than (I preſume) it will be of entertainment and advantage.
Sententious Maxims and Moral Aphoriſms, col⯑lecting into a point, and conciſely, but ſtrongly, expreſſing elevated thoughts, beautiful ſenti⯑ments, or inſtructive leſſons, have always been well received by the public. They have been conſidered as the firſt ſtrokes of a picture, in which are ſeen the juſtneſs and beauty of the painter's deſign, though it has not the co⯑louring.
The maxims of ſtate, for inſtance, drawn up by Lord HALIFAX, have been greatly eſteemed; as being the reſult of long expe⯑rience, and ſound policy. And the maxims of ROCHEFOUCAULT have met with a reception perhaps too favourable; as their tendency [viii] ſeems to be, to diſgrace human nature, and de⯑ſtroy all the virtues. And indeed the tranſlator of them ſays, ‘"I muſt confeſs, I have not read any thing in this age, that has given me a greater contempt for man."’
The very reverſe of this, is the plan on which the following Maxims are grounded; namely, on the real dignity of human nature, in order to animate man to act up to his genuine greatneſs. ‘"It exhibits man, as he really is; a compound, probationary be⯑ing: fallen indeed from the primitive per⯑fection of his nature, yet ſtill great and amiable in the ſincerity of his virtues: fre⯑quently rebelling againſt the ſacred laws of reaſon and revelation, and then always an enemy to his own happineſs, and the peace of ſociety: But ſometimes ſo worthily im⯑proving the graces and the gifts of heaven, as to ſecure the bleſſing of others, and the applauſe of his own mind; and advancing, within his proper ſphere of action, the ſal⯑vation of himſelf and his fellow-creatures, by a life exemplary in all the duties of a Man and of a Chriſtian!"’
Such is the great plan, ſuch the benevolent [ix] ſcheme, of thoſe three collections of Familiar Letters; which have been already tranſlated into ſeveral foreign languages, and received in our own country with uncommon favour. But as the narrative part of thoſe Letters was only meant as a vehicle for the inſtructive, no wonder that many readers, who are deſirous of fixing in their minds thoſe maxims which de⯑ſerve notice diſtinct from the ſtory that firſt introduced them, ſhould have often wiſhed and preſſed to ſee them ſeparate from that chain of engaging incidents that will ſometimes ſteal the moſt fixed attention from its purſuit of ſerious truth.
For the uſe therefore of all ſuch as are deſirous of repeatedly inculcating on their own minds, and the minds of others, the import⯑ant Maxims, which thoſe three works con⯑tain; and who would refer themſelves oc⯑caſionally to the volumes for the illuſtration of theſe maxims; this General Index both of Maxims and of References is now offered to the public in one pocket volume.
I ſhall only remark farther, that the Hiſto⯑ries may be conſidered as the LIVES of ſo ma⯑ny eminent perſons, and this collection of [x] Maxims, as the MORALS. And I preſume, to add, with all due deference to the ſentiments of others;—that Theſe Lives and Morals will perhaps laſt as long, probably be as much ad⯑mired, and certainly prove much more exten⯑ſively beneficial (as they deſcribe perſons ex⯑emplary in private and common life), than the Lives and Morals of the HEROES of the truly illuſtrious philoſopher mentioned in the be⯑ginning of this Preface.
The Numerals, i, ii, iii, iv. denote the Volumes; the firſt Figures refer to the Octavo Edition; thoſe incloſed thus [ ] to the 3d and ſubſequent Editions of the Twelves.
HOW great will be the condemnation of the Rich, at the great Day of Account, when they ſhall be aſked, What uſes they made of the opportunities put into their hand to do good to their indigent fellow creatures; and are able only to ſay—‘"We have lived but to ourſelves: We heaped up treaſures for thoſe who came after us, tho' we knew not but they would make a ſtill worſe uſe of them, than we ourſelves have done,"’ ii. 207, 208. [201, 202].
Little knows the narrow-minded man the pleaſures that fill the heart of a beneficent perſon, on reflecting on the good he has been enabled to do to worthy objects, ii. 207. [201]. [See Beneficence. The Rich.
THE love of praiſe, and to be flattered and admired, which predominates in the ſex, from ſixteen to ſixty, gives the men great advantages over them, iv. 465. [407].
The readineſs with which women are apt to forgive the men who have deceived other women;
And that inconſiderate notion of too many of them, that a reformed rake makes the beſt husband, are great en⯑couragements to vile men to continue their profligacy, iv. 466, & ſeq. [407, & ſeq].
Virtue and Sobriety are ſurely as beautiful parts of a man's character as of a woman's. The moſt abandon'd of men think theſe Graces indiſpenſable in the women they hope to marry—Shall women of prudence diſpenſe with them in the men they chooſe for partners for life? iv. 467. [408].
The fooliſh vanity which ſome women have in the hopes of reforming a wild young fellow, which others of their ſex have in vain tried to do, has often coſt them the happineſs of their lives; and given, at the ſame time, great encouragement to men to continue in their guilt; and to add, to their other vices, that of hypocriſy, if they think the object a prize worth feigning for, iv. 467, 468. [409].
The cruelty of women to an unhappy creature, who has been betrayed by the perfidy of her Lover; while they ſcruple not to admit among them the vile ſeducer, is another great encouragement to baſe and artful men, iv. 468. [409].
[See Advice to Young Women. Female Dignity. Love.
PERSONS may the rather hope to be extricated from difficulties and diſtreſſes, if they have not involved them⯑ſelves in them by their vanity and preſumption, i. 266. [212].
In ſome apprehended evils, the very event we dread, often brings relief, i. 288. [229].
[3] What we look upon as our greateſt unhappineſs in a difficulty we are involved in, may poſſibly be the evil haſtening to its criſis, and happy days may enſue, i. 288. [230].
How knows a perſon, ſtruggling with Calamity, what ends the Almighty has to bring about, by the trials he is exerciſed with? Was not Joſeph's exaltation owing to his unjuſt impriſonment? i. 288. [230].
Diſtreſſes, however heavy at the time, appear light, and even joyous, to the reflecting mind, when worthily overcome, ii. 57. [79].
In a deep diſtreſs, we are apt to engage every body in it; and to wonder that things animate and inanimate wear the ſame face they did while our hearts were free and eaſy, iv. 170. [154]. [See Beneficence. Reſignation.
YOUNG married Women who grow negligent in their dreſs, ſhew a ſlight to the huſband, that they ſhewed not to the lover; and as good as declare, that they are indifferent about preſerving the heart, which perhaps they took no ſmall pains to engage, ii. 215. [207].
See Dreſs. High Life. Huſband and Wife. Mar⯑riage. Wife.
A YOUNG Woman, of whatever degree, who keeps men at a modeſt diſtance, will be ſure to be the more valued for it, even by thoſe who had formed deſigns upon her honour, i. 9. [8].
A truly worthy and modeſt Young Woman will value herſelf more on being deſcended from honeſt parents, though poor, than if ſhe were high-born, and her pa⯑rents unworthy, i. 11. [9].
The Young Woman who, at the requeſt of her pre⯑tended lover, keeps ſecret the indecencies offered to her by him, encourages him to repeat them, i. 26, 27. [22].
The anger of a ſuperior to a Young Woman, who has had the virtue to repulſe him, is to be conſidered by her as her glory, i. 28. [23].
[4] She that is more aſhamed of diſhoneſty than of po⯑verty, will not be eaſily overcome, i. 29. 44, 45. [24. 54].
A Young Woman whoſe virtue has been once attempt⯑ed, yet throws herſelf into the ſame perſon's company, or continues where he is, when ſhe can avoid it, ought to charge herſelf with the conſequences, if ſhe receives new indignities, i. 50. 93. [41. 72, 73.] iii. 254. [201].
Thoſe things diſgrace not men, in the eye of the world, which ruin Women, i. 54. [44].
The man who is capable of rudeneſs to a Woman, to whom he profeſſes honourable love, ought to be reject⯑ed as an huſband, by a Woman of virtue and ſpirit, for his ſake, as well as for the ſake of her own honour, i. 64. [52, 53].
How much better is it by good fame and integrity, to get every one's good word but one, than by pleaſing that one, to incur the cenſure of every-body elſe! i. 70. [57].
A man profeſſing honour to a Woman, has it gene⯑rally in his power to convince her of his ſincerity by more than words, i. 228. [181.]
Wicked men will ſtoop to the moſt degrading mean⯑neſs to obtain a favourite end, i. 338. [270].
If a Woman knows a man to be a libertine, yet will, without ſcruple, give him her company, he will think half the ceremony between them is over; and will pro⯑bably only want an opportunity to make her repent of her confidence in him, iii. 230. [182].
When a man wiſhes a Young Woman of inferior cir⯑cumſtances to confide in his Honour, he ought to be ex⯑plicite, and not leave it to her to explain, in her own perhaps too hopeful way, what he means by the word. In ſhort, the word Marriage is as ſoon ſpoken as the word Honour, iii. 437. [345].
Men frequently take little liberties with Women; and as thoſe are received, are encouraged or diſcouraged from greater; ſo that it is in a Woman's power, effectu⯑ally to over-awe an audacious preſumer; and obtain even ſuch a one's good opinion and eſteem, iii. 469 to 473. [371 to 375].
A Young Woman will be in leſs danger when ſhe [5] rather fears an enemy in the acquaintance ſhe favours of the other ſex, than hopes a friend; eſpecially as ſo much depends upon the iſſue either of her doubt, or of her confidence, iv. 446. [390].
A prudent Woman will not want to be reminded, with regard to her conduct to fops, coxcombs, and pretty fellows, that ſhe is not always ſecure in their company, by her ſuperior good ſenſe; ſince good Generals truſting to their ſtrength and ſkill, have been often defeated by a weak enemy, iv. 447. [391].
The wife of a ſelf-admirer muſt expect a very cold and negligent huſband, iv. 448. [392].
The Young Woman who will admit into her company any man who ſhall be of opinion, and know it to be hers, that it is his province to aſk, hers to deny, will expoſe her reputation, if not her virtue, to great riſques, iv. 449. [393].
Preſuming men are always ready to conſtrue every little civility in their own favour, ibid.
Men have generally more hardneſs of heart than Wo⯑men; whence the latter, when they meet not with men of honour, engage upon very unequal terms, iv. 454. [397].
It is ſo cuſtomary with Men to make promiſes and vows, and to ſet light by them when made, that a Wo⯑man ought not to regard any thing they either ſay or vow, that carries not demonſtration with it, ibid.
The difference in the education of men and Women, muſt give the former great advantages over the latter, even where genius's are equal, ibid.
A man who is worthy of the Woman he pretends to love, needs not, generally ſpeaking, take indirect means to obtain her in marriage, iv. 455. [398].
Hope, in material caſes, ſhould never be unaccom⯑panied by fear, iv. 458. [400].
When a Young Woman begins to find in her own heart an inclination to a man, pretending love to her; then, if he be not a man of undoubted honour, is her danger doubled, as ought to be her vigilance; ſince ſhe has herſelf to guard againſt, as well as him; iv. 458. [401].
A prudent Woman will not truſt to her lover's mercy [6] or honour, but to her own diſcretion; and the rather, as, if he mean well, he himſelf will value her the more for it; if not well, ſhe will detect him the ſooner, ibid.
The doubt which a Woman has of her lover's honour is needful, not only to preſerve her own, but his. If ſhe wrongs him, ſhe can make him amends by inſtances of greater confidence, when ſhe pleaſes: But if yeſterday ſhe granted him little favours, he will not allow her this day to recede; till at laſt, perhaps, ſhe puts herſelf out of her own power into his, in order to manifeſt the in⯑ſiſted-on generoſity of her affection for him, iv. 460. [402.]
There have been caſes, where a man himſelf, purſu⯑ing the dictates of his encroaching paſſion, and finding a Woman conceding, has taken advantages, which pro⯑bably at firſt he did not preſume to think of, ibid.
See Advantages of Men over Women ▪ Cautions to young female Servants. Credulity. Female Dig⯑nity. Flattery. Heroic Poverty. Hiſtories and Characters. Libertines. Love. Low Life ▪ Ma⯑ſters Behaviour to female Servants. Parents and Children. Promiſes. Romances. Temptations. Virtue.
IT is giving a baſe man too much conſequence in the common concerns of life, to be violently angry with him, iii. 373. [294]. [See Paſſion.
BASHFUL people frequently confound themſelves by endeavouring to avoid confuſion, i. 77. [59.].
Baſhfulneſs, even to a fault, is always to be pre⯑ferred to an undiſtinguiſhing and hardy confidence, iv. 383. [335].
Sheepiſhneſs is a damp upon merit, iv. 383. [335]. Yet it may be looked upon as an outward fence or in⯑cloſure to virtue, which may keep off the lighter attacks of immorality, iv. 384. [335].
[7] It may be expected that a ſheepiſh youth is docile, humane, good-humoured, diffident; while a mind that never doubts itſelf is likely to be conceited, impetuous, over-bearing, incorrigible, iv. 384. [335].
See Merit. Modeſty.
VIRTUE only is the true Beauty, i. 18. [15].
Beauty, without goodneſs, is but a ſkin-deep perfec⯑tion, iv. 416. [363, 364].
THE power of doing good to worthy objects, is the only enviable circumſtance in the lives of people of for⯑tune, i. 14. [11]. ii. 130. [120].
The beneficent heart gives benignity to the counte⯑nance, i. 14. [11, 12.]
Where the power of doing a beneficent action is wanting, there is nearly as much merit in the will to do it, as in the fact, ii. 163. [160].
The fortune of a perſon who has the bleſſing of a be⯑neficent heart, is the more valuable to him, as it enables him to reward merit, where-ever he finds it, ii. 163. [160].
The pleaſure of doing good to our not unworthy fel⯑low-creatures, who ſtand in need of our relief, is of it⯑ſelf a ſufficient reward for our Beneficence, were there to be no after-remuneration, ii. 207. [201]. iv. 369. [322].
What joy is it in the power of the wealthy to give themſelves, when-ever they pleaſe, by comforting thoſe who ſtruggle with undeſerved diſtreſs! iii. 15. [12].
A beneficent heart may be called the gift of God, iii. 61. [48.]
Nothing in human nature is ſo God-like, as the diſpo⯑ſition to do good to our fellow-creatures, iii. 62. [49.]
A generous mind, when it grants a favour, will do it with a grace, ii. 18. [47.]
See Addreſs to the Rich. Charity. The Rich.
A GOOD perſon will rather chooſe to be cenſured for doing his duty, than for a defect in it, iii. 300. [237.]
Were evil actions to paſs uncenſured, good ones would loſe their reward; and vice, by being put on a foot with virtue in this life, would meet with general counte⯑nance, iii. 342. [270.]
No one is exempt from Calumny. Words ſaid, the occaſion of ſaying them not known, however juſtly re⯑ported, may bear a very different conſtruction from what they would have done, had the occaſion been told, iv. 211. [182].
THE leaſt freedoms of a maſter to his handſome Fe⯑male Servant, and even his ſmiles, when he is alone with her, are to be apprehended by her, as meaning too much for her honeſty, i. 6. 42. [5. 35].
She is then to be moſt apprehenſive for her virtue, when ſhe finds her heart elated with joy and gratitude for the diſtinction he pays her, i. 6. [5].
No riches, no favour of the great, can compenſate for the loſs of virtue, i. 6. [6].
The young woman who ſacrifices her virtue to the diſtinction paid her by her maſter, may well be ſaid to be too grateful, i. 6. [6].
A handſome Female Servant ſhould not wiſh to live in the houſe of a ſingle man, ſince ſhe will be likely by it to ſuffer in her reputation in the world's eye; may be more ſubject to temptation: and if he marry, will not, moſt probably, be continued in her place by his wife, i. 10. [8].
Diſtance, regulated by civility, and a freedom from pride, will make a young woman in ſervice reſpected by her equals, and valued by her ſuperiors, i. 12. [10].
Great favour ſhewn to a handſome young woman of low fortune, by a man of high, is to be ſuſpected, i. 17. [14].
Happy ought to be the Servant in her own reflexion, [9] who is diſmiſſed for refuſing compliance with the wicked will of her maſter, i. 79. [61].
Innocence is the ſweeteſt companion a young creature can have, ibid.
See Advice to young Women. Credulity. Heroic Poverty. Love. Low Life. Maſters Behaviour to Female Servants. Promiſes. Temptations. Virtue.
WHEN we reflect, that we ſerve a MASTER, who exacts from us no hard terms, but only requires of us to do juſtice, and ſhew mercy to one another, it muſt be a great inducement to acts of Charity and Benevolence, iii. 421. [333].
But were there not that inducement, the pleaſure that attends ſuch acts, is of itſelf a high reward to a bene⯑ficent and generous mind, 422. [333].
[See Pamela's methods of Charity to the Poor and Sick around her in the COUNTRY, iii. 421. & ſeq. [332, & ſeq.]
There are hardly any caſes which require more judg⯑ment in diſtinguiſhing between objects worthy and un⯑worthy, and what is, and is not, Charity, than thoſe we call charitable caſes, iii. 433. [342.]
Such as make a trade of begging, and are as tenacious of their ſtand, as others of their freehold, are not thoſe who deſerve relief:
As do the induſtrious poor who are reduced by ſick⯑neſs, caſualty, or misfortune; or even by miſtake, not wilful or perſiſted in: who ſigh in ſecret, and cannot make known what they ſuffer, iii. 434. [342, 343.]
The tender treatment of a ſick ſervant is a great en⯑couragement to all the reſt; as they will ſee by it, how they will be taken care of, ſhould they happen to be ill, iv. 59. [48].
For a particular account of Pamela's Charities in TOWN, ſee iv. 59. & ſeq. [49, & ſeq.]
The worthy indigent, become ſo by unavoidable acci⯑dents and caſualties, are to be diſtinguiſhed in our acts of Charity, from thoſe who have brought upon themſelves [10] want and diſtreſs, by their extravagance or wilful folly, iv. 405. [354].
See Pamela's method in her acts of Charity, and in her religious duties at home, in order to avoid giving offence to her husband's gay ſpirit, iv. 405. & ſeq. [334, & ſeq].
See Addreſs to the Rich. Adverſity. Beneficence. Conſolation to the Poor. The Poor not to be de⯑ſpiſed by the Rich. The Rich. Sickneſs.
CHASTITY. See Virtue.
THAT ſeriouſneſs in giving advice, will be moſt likely to be efficacious on a gay mind, that is mingled with Chearfulneſs, and throws not a cloud over inno⯑cent enjoyments, ii. 151. [156]. [See Parents and Children.
SLEEP is an admirable nouriſher both to the once young, and the twice young, iv. 329. [285].
It is a moſt inconſiderate, fooliſh, and pernicious cuſtom in nurſes, to awaken the Child from its nouriſh⯑ing ſleep, for fear it ſhould ſuffer from hunger, ibid.
Nurſes, by cramming and ſtuffing the little bowels of Infants till they are ready to burſt, occaſion indigeſtions, which turn to bad humours, ibid.
Infants can have no corrupt taſte to gratify. All in them is pure, as out of the hand of nature: the food therefore that is given them ſhould be plain; all that is not ſo, muſt vitiate and offend:
How bad then is the cuſtom which nurſes have, to mix wine or ſpirituous liquors, however ſmall in quan⯑tity, in their liquid food, on pretence of breaking the wind generated in their bowels! iv. 328. [286.]
Children ſhould not be uſed to phyſic. That given them by way of precaution, as it is called, introduces the neceſſity of phyſic. Would a parent beget a diſ⯑order where there is none? or, by frequent uſe, render the ſalutary force of medicine ineffectual when it was wanted? ibid.
See Pamela's deſcription of an Infant pinned down, [11] and ſwathed round with a roller, ten or a dozen times; blanket upon blanket wrapt round it: Its head oppreſſed with covering upon covering: its arms pinioned cloſe to its body: its legs hundled up as if to prevent thoſe kindly ſtretchings which ought to be promoted as ſo many efforts for growth and enlargement; lying a miſerable little captive on the nurſe's lap: its head pinned by ſtays to the ſhoulders; goggling and ſtaring with its eyes, the only organs it has at liberty, as if ſupplicating for freedom to its fettered limbs, iv. 328. [287].
Children in arms will, by their fondneſs or diſlike of their attendants, let a parent know the treatment they meet with behind their backs, iv. 376. [328.]
CHILDREN'S minds are ſooner capable of cultiva⯑tion, than is generally imagined, iv. 325. [284.]
May not the Child which can tell its wants, and make known its inclinations, be eaſily made ſenſible of what is expected from it, if proper methods be taken with it? iv. 326. [284].
For, ſometimes ſigns and tokens, and even looks, uniformly practiſed, will do as well as words; as we ſee in ſuch of the young of the Brute Creation as we are diſpoſed to domeſticate, and to teach to practiſe thoſe little tricks of which the docility of their nature makes them capable, ibid.
There is ſuch a natural connexion and progreſſion be⯑tween the infantile and more adult ſtate of Childrens minds, that thoſe who would know how to account for their inclinations, ſhould not be wholly inattentive to them in the former ſtate, ibid.
Every creature has its natural or inſtinctive pointings, as they may be called, teaching it to chooſe its good, and to avoid what is hartful to it. In Infants, the de⯑ſire they have to be carried abroad, into the free air, is one of thoſe, iv. 327. [285].
[12] The wiſeſt ought not to be above attending to the firſt rules for the management of Infants. If the Child has not good health (and are not early rules the founda⯑tion of that bleſſing?) its animal functions will play but poorly thro' weak and crazy organs, iv. 330. [287].
At two or three years old, or before, the Buds of Childrens minds will begin to open, a watchful Parent will then be employed, like a ſkilful gardener, in defend⯑ing the flower from blights, and aſſiſting it thro' its ſeveral ſtages to perfection, ibid.
An unreaſonable appetite is to be checked at its firſt appearance, iv. 331. [289].
But if ſmall and innocent indulgences will lead the Child to an obſervance of its duty, it may be complied with in ſuch, ibid.
Great vigilance ſhould be exerciſed over the tempers of Children, when their notices of things and perſons grow ſtrong and ſignificant, iv. 412. [360].
Childrens future tempers, as to benevolence, may be gueſſed at by their willingneſs to part with any thing they are fond of, iv. 413. [360].
Children ſhould not be allowed to enter too early into diſcourſe with grown people; nor to give their opinions on ſubjects, unleſs called upon to do ſo;
Since knowledge is obtained rather by hearing than ſpeaking, iv. 417. [364].
Yet they ought to be encouraged to aſk queſtions for their information, ibid.
Pamela obſerves to her Billy, that nature has given two ears to one tongue, as if it meant, that we ſhould hear twice as much as we ſpeak, ibid.
See Education. Maternal Duties. Parents and Children.
Too great a diſtance kept up between Children and Servants, may fill the former with an arrogance that is not warranted by any condition or rank to their fellow⯑creatures; and, if care be taken, by good examples of ſuperiors, to make good Servants, ſuch will not deſerve to be treated contemptuouſly, iv. 359. [313].
[13] The principles of univerſal benevolence and kind⯑neſs, eſpecially to inferiors, ſhould be early inculcated in the minds of Children of birth and condition, iv. 361. [315].
No part of their ſuperiority will be hereby loſt, ſays Mr Locke; but the diſtinction increaſed, and their au⯑thority ſtrengthened, when love in inferiors is joined with outward reſpect, and an eſteem of the perſon has a ſhare in their ſubmiſſion, iv. 360. [314].
Domeſtics, adds Mr. Locke, will pay a more ready and chearful ſervice, when they find themſelves not ſpurned becauſe fortune has laid them below the level of others, at their maſter's feet, ibid.
There is a pride, a ſelf-love, in human minds, that will ſeldom be kept ſo low, as to make men and women humbler than they ought to be, iv. 361. [315].
That ſuperiority will be beſt maintained, which is ac⯑companied by humanity and kindneſs, and is grounded on the perfections of the mind, rather than on the ac⯑cidental advantages of birth and fortune, iv. 363. [316.]
See Education. Parents and Children. Servants.
To be a Clergyman, and all that is compaſſionate and virtuous, ought to be the ſame thing, iii. 190. [151].
The failings of ſome of the Clergy ought not to make impreſſions upon any one, to the diſadvantage of the function in general, iii. 193. [153.]
This indiſcriminate cenſoriouſneſs, ſays Pamela, is a very common fault, and frequently indicates an uncha⯑ritable, and perhaps profligate heart, ſeeking to level characters, in order to cover enormities they will not be inſtructed to amend, iii. 194. [154].
The preſence of a Clergyman known to be good, will be always an awe upon free and forward ſpirits, iii. 268. [212.]
A truly good Clergyman will be cautious of doing any thing that will require a diſpenſation, and which would be unlawful without it, iii. 328. [258].
[14] The treatment which the Clergy give to one another, makes it the leſs to be wondered it, that the laity uſe them with diſreſpect, iii. 328. [259].
Where a ſmall ſtipend out of a good benefice is paid to the man who does all the duty, it may be ſaid, that the principals help the invidious to a method of eſtimat⯑ing the value of performing the ſacred Service, iii. 328. [259].
He who takes two livings, when one of them would afford him a handſome maintenance, as good as declares, that he is reſolved to make the moſt of their profits, iii. 329. [260].
One of the cauſes of the contempt of the Clergy is the inſufficient proviſion made for thoſe of the inferior order, iii. 331. [261].
See the Converſation between Mr. B. Pamela, and their Friends, on Impropriations, Pluralities, &c. iii. 327, & ſeq. [258, & ſeq.]
Bad as the world is, a prudent Clergyman will always meet with reſpect, iii. 336. [265].
A good Clergyman will be unwilling to leave his flock, tho' for a richer benefice, if he find his miniſtry among them attended with good effects, ibid.
Many people can receive benefit from one man's preaching, who cannot by that of another, tho' the abi⯑lities of both may be equal, iii. 336. [265].
There is a great deal in a delivery, as it is called, in a way, a manner, a deportment, to engage people's attention and liking, ibid.
Where the flock loves the ſhepherd, his work is eaſy, and more than half done; where it does not, let him have the tongue of an angel, and live the life of a ſaint, he will be heard with indifference, and oftentimes, as his ſubject may be, with diſguſt, iii. 336, 337. [265, 266].
A prudent regard to worldly intereſt misbecomes not the character of a good Clergyman, iii. 337. [266].
Pity that all worthy Clergymen were not ſet above want; and that not only for their own ſakes, but for that of their hearers; ſince independency gives a man reſpect, beſides the power of doing good, which will [15] inhance that reſpect, and, of conſequence, give greater efficacy to his doctrines, ibid.
Temptations ſhould not be laid in the way even of good men, leſt they ſhould be overcome by them; and thereby weaken influences which, from ſuch, are of high conſequence to the public weal, iii. 338. [267].
It is of public concern that we reverence the func⯑tion in general, notwithſtanding the failure of indivi⯑duals in it, iii. 341. [269].
God's providence is a better reliance than the richeſt benefice, iii. 346. [273].
The manifeſtation and reward of merit do not al⯑ways go together, iii. 347. [273].
See the Hardſhips which the inferior Clergy lie under, more than any other body of men, as ſet forth by Mr. B. iii. 350, & ſeq. [276, & ſeq].
Worthy young men, who have but juſt quitted col⯑lege, and have made the improvement of their minds their chief ſtudy in it, know little of the world; and, depending on the goodneſs of their own hearts, are more liable to be impoſed upon, than men of half their underſtanding, iv. 287. [249].
See Patrons. Religion. Tythes.
IT is neceſſary, in order to preſerve the reſpect due to a good Clergyman, that his Wife ſhould be nearly, if not quite, as unexceptionable in her manners, as himſelf, iv. 274. [238].
How ſhall a good Clergyman be able to purſue his ſtudies with comfort to himſelf, or with edification to his flock, if he be made uneaſy at home? ibid.
And how can it be expected that his female pariſhi⯑oners will regard his public preaching, if he has no influence over the private conduct of his Wife? iv. 275. [238].
The Wife of a country Clergyman ought to know ſomething of oeconomy and houſhold management, iv. 275. [239].
She ſhould not delight in dreſs, ſo as to be thought to [16] vie with the wives and daughters of the principal fami⯑lies in her neighbourhood, ibid.
Whoever thinks of being a Clergyman's Wife, (ſays Pamela to her Polly Barlowe, confirming the above rules,) ſhould reſolve to be as good as himſelf;
Should determine to ſet an example to her female neighbours; and ſhew how much weight her huſband's doctrines have with her;
Should be humble, circumſpect, gentle in her tem⯑per and manners; frugal;
Should reſolve to ſweeten his labours; and to be obliging to the poor as well as rich;
Should be careful that her husband get no diſcredit by her means, which would weaken his influence upon his auditors; iv. 274 to 280. [238 to 243].
COMEDY. See Public Entertainments.
THE man who being not born to an eſtate is not ſatisfied with a Competency, will hardly know any limit to his deſires, iii. 348. [275]. [See Heroic Poverty. The Rich.
ALL outward finery is nothing, weighed againſt a good Conſcience, i. 17. [14].
The great man who will permit his Conſcience to be his preacher, will ſtand in leſs need of a chaplain, i. 105. [83].
There are caſes in which the Conſciouſneſs of ſecret guilt will reſtrain a pleaſure, that in a happier ſituation it would have been equally delightful and laudable to manifeſt, iii. 508. [403].
What a poor figure does the proudeſt man make un⯑der the ſenſe of a concealed guilt, in company of the innocent, who happens to know it, iii. 511. [405].
How would the innocent perſon, who fears an unjuſt judge, tremble, were ſhe not innocent, and to appear be⯑fore a juſt one! i. 40. [33].
See Conſolation to the Poor. Heroic Poverty. Reſignation. Shame.
A GOOD wife, who is intent upon doing her duty to God and her huſband, cannot but hope for a more elevated companionſhip than this tranſitory ſtate can yield to her and the man of choice, iii. 190. [150].
What a dreadful caſe is hers, who being as exem⯑plary in the performance of her general duties, as hu⯑man frailty will allow, looks upon the ſole object of her earthly love, the father of her children, as an unhappy ſoul, deſtined, without a miracle, to a ſeperate and miſerable exiſtence for ever, iii. 190. [150, 151].
But what tranſports, at times, muſt ſhe know, who ſhall be bleſſed with the hope of being an humble in⯑ſtrument to reclaim a partner ſo dear to her;
And, that heart in heart, hand in hand, they ſhall one day iſſue forth from this incumbered ſtate into a bleſ⯑ſed eternity, benefited in life by each other's example? iii. 190. [151].
What exalted happineſs muſt that man and wife know, who, one ſpirit as well as one fleſh, join in the ſame prayers and thankſgivings, both in their public and pri⯑vate duties, iv. 407. [355].
See Huſband and Wife. Libertines. Love.
IN all the inevitable changes and chances of this mortal life, the worthy mind will comfort itſelf, that Providence beſt knows what is good for it, ii. 57. [79].
The very evils moſt dreaded by a worthy mind, are often turned by an all-wiſe Providence, to its honour and happineſs, ii. 57. [79].
See Adverſity. Reſignation.
IN the midſt of poverty and misfortune, God's good⯑neſs is the honeſt man's ſureſt reliance, i. 6. [6].
The next world, not this, is the rewarding place for the virtue and honeſty of the ſuffering Poor, i. 7. [6].
Let none even think children a burden, where it may happen that the merits of ſome one of them may be the [18] means of raiſing all the reſt, and a benefit and credit to honeſt parents, i. 263. [210].
While the virtuous Poor can be bleſſed with contented minds all day, and ſound ſleep at night; and the hours of night bear ſo near a proportion in number to thoſe of the day, may not ſuch, even at the worſt, be ſaid to paſs, at leaſt half their lives with more comfort than the voluptuous and diſtemper'd great? iii. 143. [113, 114.]
Honeſt Poverty is not ſuch a deplorable thing as ſome imagine, iii. 143. [114].
Poor people, who live low, very ſeldom, when taken ill, want any thing but reviving cordials; and, after⯑wards, wholſome kitchen phyſic; and then the wheels of nature being unclogged (new-oiled, as it were) will go round again with eaſe and pleaſantneſs, by aid of that exerciſe which their labour gives them, iii. 428. [338].
While the rich and voluptuous are obliged to under⯑go great fatigues to keep theirs in order, iii. 429, [338].
Great inconveniencies attend people in genteel life, which thoſe in lower know nothing of. Were the con⯑veniencies and inconveniencies of the one and the other to be weighed, perhaps the difference, as to true happi⯑neſs, would not be ſo great as the latter imagine, if it did not turn in their favour, iii. 461. [365].
See Adverſity. Charity. Heroic Poverty. Low Life. Proſperity. Reſignation.
CONTENT. See Conſolation to the Poor. Heroic Po⯑verty. Low Life.
THE plain Engliſh of the politeſt addreſs of a gen⯑tleman to a lady, is, I am now, dear madam, the humbleſt of your ſervants: Be ſo good as to allow me to be your Lord and Maſter, iii. 195. [154].
The man who is fond of his own perſon, is not, for that reaſon, likely to be the more fond of that of his wife, iii. 197. [157].
The more condeſcending a woman in Courtſhip is to her lover, the leſs intitled will he generally think her to his complaiſance, iii. 412. [325].
[19] Compliments in Courtſhip are poured out upon a woman, like a haſty ſhower, which ſeldom laſts, iii. 413. [326].
Men of a rank ſuperior to the women they profeſs to love, do not always mean marriage, when they promiſe it: But if they do mean it, they will never leave a doubt of their honourable intentions, iii. 439. [347].
My huſband, ſays Miſs Darnford, giving her reaſons for refuſing the addreſs of a weak man, muſt be a man of ſenſe, and give me room to think he has a judgment ſu⯑perior to my own, iv. 283. [246].
He will otherwiſe do wrong-headed things: I ſhall be forced to oppoſe him in them: He will be tenacious and obſtinate; be taught to talk of prerogative, and call himſelf a man; yet not know how to behave as one; and I ſhall deſpiſe him of courſe; and ſo be deemed a bad wife, when, I hope, I have qualities that would make me a tolerable good one, had I a man of ſenſe for my huſband, ibid.
See Advice to Young Women. Libertines. Love. Platonic Love. Marriage.
WHERE Credulity may endanger virtue, a young woman cannot be too vigilant againſt preſents made to her, or favours conferred upon her, with an unſparing hand, i. 16. [14.]
Things we wiſh to be true, are apt to gain too ready Credit with us, ii. 15. [45].
The moſt innocent heart is generally the moſt cre⯑dulous, iii. 275. [217]. iv. 455. [398].
As Credulity is too apt to be the fault of a good-hu⯑mour'd perſon, ſuch a one cannot be too much guarded againſt the advantages, which every one is ready to take of him or her, iv. 453. [396].
See Advice to Young Women. Love.
THERE is a right and a wrong in every thing; and let what will be the Cuſtom, a good man will not do all he may do without incurring a penalty, iii. 345. [272].
[20] It was once thought unſeemly to employ men-attend⯑ants in womanly offices, iv. 276. [240].
Pamela thus expreſſes herſelf on this ſubject; A tea⯑kettle in a man's hand, which would be fitter to hold a plough, wield a flail, or handle a ſcythe, has to me a ſtrange look, ibid.
This is like my low breeding, ſome perhaps would ſay; but I cannot call thoſe things polite, that I think unſeemly, ibid. [See Faſhions. Public Entertainments.
THE perſon who is worthieſt to live, is fitteſt to die, iii. 484. [384].
There is ſuch a natural repugnance between life and Death, that nature will ſhrink when it comes to the trial, let us have ever ſo much fortitude when we view Death at a diſtance, iv. 114. [97].
When the poor ſoul ſtands ſhivering, as it were, on the brink of eternity, and from a conſciouſneſs of a paſſed miſ-ſpent life, has nothing ſtrong but its fears and doubts, how conſolatory muſt be the advice of a good perſon, encouraging a reliance upon the mercies of an all-merciful God! iv. 271. [235].
A prudent mind, that conſiders the uncertainty of the time of its departure hence, and the certainty of the event, will be always preparing, till prepared, iv. 41. [34].
And what can be a better preparative than charity to our fellow-creatures, in the eye of that Majeſty, which wants nothing of us but a thankful heart, and that we do juſt and merciful things to one another? ibid.
See Charity. Proſperity. Sickneſs.
DIFFIDENCE. See Baſhfulneſs. Merit. Modeſty.
WICKED words are the prelude to wicked deeds; the opportunity only ſeems to be wanting, i. 52. [42].
See Libertines. Old Rakes.
DRESS ſuited to degree, or ſtation, gives a high inſtance of prudence, i. 60. [49].
While the man of Body takes the greateſt care to ſet out and adorn the part for which he thinks himſelf moſt valuable, the man of Mind will beſtow the moſt pains in improving that mind;
Perhaps to the neglect of outward appearance; which is a fault on the other ſide, iv. 448. [391].
See Advice to young married Women. Cuſtom. Faſhion.
THOSE commands of Superiors which are contrary to our firſt Duties, are not to be obeyed, i. 36. [30].
The beſt ſecurity an honeſt ſervant can give for the performance of her Duty to her principals in abſence, is, not to be remiſs in her Duties to the Almighty, from whoſe eye nothing can be hid, iii. 101. [80].
The ſervant who makes not Religion the baſis of his Duty to his maſter, will be apt to be miſguided by convenience or ſelf-intereſt, if temptations offer, ibid.
See Children and Servants. Example. Servants.
A FINE or genteel Education is generally of more diſſervice than benefit to a young woman of no fortune, i. 125. [99].
People in a high condition generally ſo educate their children, as not to ſuffer them to bear the leaſt contra⯑diction to their violent wills; which indulgence, as they grow up, multiplies not only their own diſquiets, but thoſe of every one elſe, who have, concerns with them, i. 406. [ii. 32].
Tutors ſhould treat their pupils, with regard to ſuch of their faulty habits as cannot eaſily be eradicated, as prudent phyſicians do their patients in chronical caſes; rather with gentle palliatives than harſh extirpatives; which, by means of the reſiſtance given to them by the habit, may create ſuch ferments as may utterly defeat their intention, iv. 305. [265].
A generous mind will chooſe to win youth to do its [22] duty, by mildneſs and good uſage, rather than by ſeve⯑rity, iv. 332. [289].
It muſt be painful to ſuch a one to be always incul⯑cating on his children or pupils, the doctrine of ſelf-denial, in caſes of an indifferent nature, by methods quite grievous to his own, ibid.
Encouragements given to children, ſhould, however, be innocent ones; and not ſuch as ſhould lead to lux⯑ury, either of food or apparel, ibid.
The Almighty, by rewards and puniſhments, makes it our intereſt, as well as our duty, to obey him; and can we propoſe to ourſelves, for the government of our children, a better example? ibid.
We muſt not expect from children, at an early age, that they ſhould diſtinguiſh beyond facts, iv. 333. [290].
Grown people have an eye to the reward for ſervice performed; nor will deſerve to be thought leſs good or virtuous, that they do a painful duty, and even that they ſubmit to be ſervants, for the reward's ſake, ibid.
Self-denial is indeed an excellent doctrine to be in⯑culcated into children's minds; and it muſt be done early too; but we muſt not be too ſevere in enforcing it; for a duty too rigidly inſiſted on, will make it odious, iv. 334. [290].
A child ſhould not be either compelled or induced by rewards, to endeavour to maſter a ſtudy or byaſs (that is not an indiſpenſable requiſite to his future life or morals) to which it ſhews a natural or riveted aver⯑ſion, iv. 335. [292].
If the Education and Studies of children were ſuited to their inclinations and capacities, many would be made uſeful members of ſociety, that otherwiſe would make no figure in it, iv. 336. [292].
If, as the child grows up, its mind can be raiſed from the love of the reward, to the love of its duty for the duty's ſake, it ſhould by all means be done, iv. 336. [293].
The child which can be brought to prefer its duty to its appetites, (as Mr. Locke propoſes it ſhould) wants but little of the ſelf-denial of the wiſeſt philoſopher, ibid.
If the child refuſes obedience, the parent muſt inſiſt [23] upon it: The neceſſity of uſing ſeverity may be the iſſue: A wiſe parent will therefore make as few things as poſ⯑ſible neceſſary parts of its duty, except they are likely to affect its future morals, iv. 337. [293].
Children, from their beginning to talk, Mr. Locke ſays, ſhould have about them ſome ſober, diſcreet per⯑ſon, whoſe care it ſhould be, to keep them from the in⯑fection of bad company, iv. 338, 339. [295].
An acquaintance with the muſes, in the Education of youth, contributes not a little to ſoften the manners. It gives a delicate turn to the imagination, and a kind of poliſh to the mind in ſeverer ſtudies, iv. 353. [308].
However, it is not to wiſhed, that a youth ſhould have ſuch ſtrong inclinations that way, as to make that delightful amuſement his predominant paſſion; ſince we ſee very few poets whoſe warm imaginations do not run away with their judgments, iv. 354. [308].
And yet, in order to learn the dead languages in their purity, it will be neceſſary to ſtudy the antient poets; which cannot fail of giving youth a reliſh for poetry in general, ibid.
Latin and Language, in Mr. Locke's judgment, is the leaſt part of Education, iv. 386. [337].
See his method by which a mother may teach her ſon Latin, without her underſtanding it herſelf; and Pamela's reaſonings upon it, iv. 385, & ſeq. [337, & ſeq.
See alſo his method of inſtructing a child at once in Latin and French, Arithmetic, Geography, Chrono⯑logy, Hiſtory, and Geometry, with an inſtance in point, as quoted by Pamela, iv. 388, [340].
Languages and Sciences, and all other accompliſh⯑ments of Education, will be to no purpoſe, Mr. Locke obſerves, but to make the worſe and more dangerous man, if the tutor makes it not his chief care to form the mind of his ſcholar, ſo as to keep out evil and vicious habits, iv. 386. [338].
On a Home and School EDUCATION.
MR. Locke, for ſeveral weighty reaſons, prefers a Home to a School Education; but makes it next to im⯑poſſible [24] to procure ſuch a tutor, as he thinks neceſſary to direct it, iv. 338. [294]. [See TUTOR.
It is impoſſible, he ſays, that in a School Education, a maſter can have a great number of boys under his eye [...] any longer than they are in School together, iv. 342. [338].
Hence Pamela takes occaſion humbly to propoſe it as a matter for her Mr. B's conſideration and determina⯑tion, Whether there cannot be found out,
A middle way of EDUCATION between both.
CANNOT, aſks ſhe, ſome maſter be engaged, who ſhall be ſo well rewarded for his care of a few, as ſhall make it worth his while to be contented with thoſe few? Suppoſe five, ſix, ſeven, or eight, at moſt, whoſe mo⯑rals and good breeding he may attend to, as well as to their learning? iv. 343. & ſeq. [299, & ſeq].
The further this maſter lives from the friends of the young gentleman, perhaps the better it will be, ibid.
He ſhould be a man of mild temper; but ſtrict in his diſcipline;
One who makes it a rule not to give correction for ſmall faults; or till every other method has been tried;
Who carries ſuch a juſt dignity in his manner, with⯑out the appearance of tyranny, that his looks may be of greater force than the chidings of ſome; and his chid⯑ings than the ſtripes of others;
And who will rather endeavour to ſhame, than terrify a youth out of his faults:
She ſuppoſes, that this gentleman ſhould allot a par⯑ticular portion of time for the proſecuting of the more learned ſtudies;
And before the youth was tired with them, ſhe ſup⯑poſes another portion ſhould be allotted for writing and arithmetic;
And then, for a relief to his mind, that the dancing⯑maſter ſhould take his part;
Innocent recreations to fill up the reſt, at his own choice; in which, diverted by ſuch a rotation of em⯑ployments (all rendered delightful by their ſucceſſive variety), he would hardly wiſh to paſs much time;
[25] Since the dancing itſelf will anſwer both parts; that of good breeding, and that of exerciſe;
And thus different Studies may at once be maſtered.
Moreover, the emulation which will be raiſed where there are ſeveral young gentlemen, will greatly leſſen the trouble of the tutor, and advance the learning of the pupils:
An emulation which cannot be obtained in a home education, where there is but a ſingle youth to be taken care of;
Such a maſter, not having a great number of ſervants, will be better able to anſwer for their conduct and be⯑haviour;
The young gentlemen will have young gentlemen for their companions; all under the influence of the ſame precepts and example;
And as little honours and diſtinctions muſt needs be very attractive to the minds of youth, ſuppoſe, as a re⯑ward for ſome excellence, the excelling youth ſhould be ſet to read at a little deſk raiſed a ſtep or two, to his maſter and ſchoolfellows, ſometimes a little portion from the beſt tranſlations of the Greek or Roman hiſtories, at other times from the Engliſh hiſtories;
The maſter explaining difficult paſſages and cuſtoms, as the youth proceeded;
Might not this, in a very engaging manner, initiate them into the knowlege of the hiſtory of paſt times, and of their own country; and lead them, in the maſter's abſence, to paſs ſome of their vacant hours in the like laudable manner?
Why may not like triumphs on excelling be as incen⯑tive to engage children to conquer difficult taſks, as the Roman triumphs, their civic and mural crowns, were to the heroes of old; ſince men, as the poet obſerves, are but children of a larger growth? iv. 346. [301].
But if a Home Education is choſen, to which Pa⯑mela, as well as Mr. Locke inclines, ſhe thus expa⯑tiates upon the qualities of a tutor; iv. 349. [304].
He ought to be a man of free and generous principles; yet not tainted with ſceptical or heterodox notions,
Who has travelled, and preſerved his moral character unimpeached;
[26] Whoſe behaviour and carriage is eaſy, unaffected, gen⯑teel;
Who is not, on one hand, dogmatical, poſitive, or over⯑bearing; on the other, yielding, ſuppliant, fawning;
Who will ſtudy the child's natural bent, in order to direct his genius to the attainment which he is moſt likely to maſter:
In order to preſerve the reſpect due to his own cha⯑racter with every one, he muſt not be a tale-bearer, a whiſperer, a buſy-body in the family;
Muſt, on the contrary, have a benevolent turn of mind: Be ready, without officiouſneſs, to compoſe dif⯑ferences;
Who will avoid the foppiſhneſs in dreſs, by which the petit-maitres and French uſhers at boarding-ſchools often diſtinguiſh themſelves; ſince peculiarities of habit, and uncharacteriſtic appearance, generally denote a wrong head, iv. 350. [304, & ſeq].
As in a home education it will be very difficult to keep children, as Mr. Locke requires, from the con⯑verſation of ſervants;
It will be a ſecurer as well as more laudable method, for parents to inſiſt upon the regular behaviour of the whole family, than to expect that the child and its tutor ſhall be the only good ones in it, iv. 355. [310].
Nor is this ſo difficult to be effected, as ſome may imagine. If, on the hiring of a new ſervant, ſobriety of manners, and a virtuous converſation be inſiſted upon, as indiſpenſible conditions of their continuing in their ſervice; and if the principals take care to ſupport their injunctions by their own example, it would be ſeen, that if their ſervice did not find them good, it would make them ſo, iv. 356. [310].
And why ſhould not this be thought a practicable ſcheme, when it is conſidered, that ſervants, when taken, are generally at years of diſcretion; and have the ſtrong tie of intereſt, ſuperadded to the duty we require of them, to influence them; and which they muſt needs know (let them have contracted habits ever ſo evil) are as right for them to diſcharge, as for us to exact from them? iv. 356, 357. [311].
[27] A bad perſon wholly convinced, is half reformed, iv. 359. [313].
The Home Education is only to be preferred to that of the private ſchool, or univerſity, in caſes where the pa⯑rents ſet a good example in their families, and take care of the morals of their ſervants, iv. 364. [318].
The emulation ſo uſeful in a School Education to lead children on in their ſtudies, and duties, would be obtained in an home one, if the child of ſome honeſt neighbour, of middling or low circumſtances, of like years, and of an ingenuous and modeſt diſpoſition, were taken into the family, and put under the care of the ſame tutor, and on a foot as to encouragement, as each excelled, iv. 367. [321].
See the advantages of ſuch an adoption, as it may be called, to the child of a man of affluence, and the generoſity and propriety of ſuch an inſtitution, as ſet forth, iv. 368, 369. [321, 322.]
The noble doctrine of independence ſhould be early inſtilled into the mind of a youth; and how unworthy of a manly ſpirit a ſlaviſh dependence is, iv. 369. [322].
As a child is indulged or checked in its early follies, a ground is generally laid for the happineſs or miſery of the future man, iv. 370. [323].
The reſtive tricks which horſes, dogs, and other ani⯑mals have learned when young, are hardly ever to be mended when knit; and yet, ſays Mr. Locke, none of theſe creatures are half ſo wilful and proud, and half ſo deſirous to be maſters of themſelves, as men, ibid.
Shame is a fitter, and, generally, a more effectual pu⯑niſhment for a child, than beating, iv. 371. [324].
See Pamela's opinion of the proper manner of inflict⯑ing puniſhments on a perverſe child, iv. 371, & ſeq. [324, & ſeq].
And of the perſon proper to inflict it, iv. 373, & ſeq. [326, & ſeq.]
When the child has committed ſome fault, for which his parents hold him in diſgrace, he ſhould be in diſgrace with all the reſt of the family, till, thro' ſhame, he is convinced of his error, iv. 378. [330].
The plays and ſports of children are as ſalutary to [28] them, as labour and work are to grown perſons, iv. 381. [333].
See Pamela's opinion of the playthings and diverſions of children, iv. 381, & ſeq. [333, 334].
See Children in their Infantile State. Children and Servants. Maternal Duty. Parents and Children. Travelling. Tutor.
IN the Education of a young lady of ſtrong paſſions, it will be beſt to endeavour, till ſhe can be taught to love virtue for its own ſake, to conduct her ſpirit to pro⯑per ends, rather than totally to ſubdue it, iv. 303. [263].
There may be a decent pride in humility, iv. 303. [264].
A young lady may behave with ſo much true dignity, as ſhall command reſpect by the turn of her eye, ſooner than by aſſuming ſpeech, ibid.
A young lady ſhould be told, that it is no honour to be better born than ſervants, if ſhe be not better behaved too, ibid.
And that humility is a grace that ſhines in a high con⯑dition; but cannot, equally in a low one; becauſe a per⯑ſon in the latter is already, perhaps, too much humbled, ibid.
Women in their education, Pamela ſays, are generally forced to ſtruggle for knowlege like the poor feeble in⯑fant who is pinioned, legs, arms, and head, on the nurſe's lap, iv. 347. [302].
If its little arms happen, by great chance, to gain free⯑dom, and expand, they are inſtantly ſeized, and faſtened down to paſſive behaviour by the tyrannic nurſe, ibid.
So when a poor girl, in ſpite of her narrow education, breaks into notice, her genius is immediately tamed by trifling employments, and ſhe is kept back, as if it were apprehended ſhe would become the envy of her own ſex, and raiſe the jealouſy of the other, ibid.
It is the intereſt of men, that more pains ſhould be taken in the education of women than generally is, iv. 393. [344].
See Pamela's ſentiments as further given on the educa⯑tion of girls, iv. 393. [343].
[29] Mr. B. ſays, that if the wits of men were equal to thoſe of women, much time and pains might be ſpared in the Education of the former, i. 387. [ii. 17].
Nature, ſays he, teaches women what is not attained by men, but in a long courſe of labour and ſtudy, ibid.
See Children and Servants. Education. Female Dignity. Love. Maternal Duty. Parents and Children.
ENVY dwells with the poor, as well as with the rich, i. 60. [49].
Nothing more excites the Envy of women in general, than the ſeeing one of their own claſs ſet above them in dreſs and appearance, ii. 39. [64].
GREAT is the force of Example, whether bad or good, in ſuperiors, ii. 232. [222]. iv. 357. [311].
A good maſter, from the king to the peaſant, will ge⯑nerally make a good ſervant, 270. [279].
Mr. B's Example in marrying beneath his degree, not to be pleaded by any one who is not entirely independent; who is not of full age; who has not a fortune ſufficient to make himſelf and the woman happy, iii. 186. [147, 148].
The ungraciouſneſs of children ought not to be won⯑dred at by thoſe parents, who hardly ever ſhew them that their own actions are governed by reaſonable or moral motives, iv. 365. [319].
Can the gluttonous father expect a ſelf-denying ſon? ibid.
With how ill a grace muſt a man who will be often diſguiſed in liquor, preach ſobriety to his children? ibid.
And irreligious man, piety? ibid.
Will a parent, whoſe hands are ſeldom without cards or dice in them, be obſerved in leſſons againſt the per⯑nicious vice of gaming? ibid.
Impoſſible; except when the child, ſeeing the odiouſ⯑neſs of his father's vices, has the grace to ſet them up as [30] a kind of ſea-mark, to warn him to ſhun thoſe rocks on which his father has ſplit, iv. 366. [319].
See Duty to Superiors. Education. Maternal Duty. Parents and Children. Penitence.
IN ſpite of Faſhion, it is in every man's power to pre⯑ſcribe rules to himſelf, which will be allowed by every one, when it is known he will not depart from them, ii. 217. [209].
It is the cuſtom of the world to give way to iniquitous practices, and then to plead the Faſhion againſt the at⯑tempt to reform them, i. 223. [177].
See Cuſtom. Public Entertainments.
THE woman who thinks meanly of herſelf, is any man's purchaſe, iv. 246. [213].
See Pamela's opinion of the equality of genius in men and women, were the latter to have the ſame oppor⯑tunities of improvement that the men have, iv. 395, & ſeq. [345, & ſeq.].
The wits, as they would have themſelves thought to be, who treat women with contempt, generally treat as freely, the moſt ſacred ſubjects, iv. 398. [348].
To what does the contemptuous treatment of the one half, if not the better half, of the human ſpecies tend to, but to render the ſex vile in the eyes of the moſt vile; and to make women the ſubjects of the attempts of pro⯑fligates, iv. 399. [349].
Since, when a woman is no longer beheld with that dignity, with which the innocence of her mind, and per⯑haps the graces of perſon ſhould ſacredly, as it were, en⯑compaſs her, her very excellencies become ſo many in⯑centives to baſe wretches to endeavour to ruin her, iv. 399. [349].
The generality of men are far from being formidable to the ſex, if women do juſtice to themſelves, and to what their characters require of them, iv. 447. [391].
[31] See Advantages of men over women, &c. Advice to Young Women. Love. Wits. Writers.
CALL me, ſays Pamela to her parents, in her exalted condition, your Daughter, your Pamela. I am no lady to you. I have more delight to be called your comfort, and to be thought to act worthy of the leſſons you taught me, and of the examples you ſet me, than in any one thing in this life, my bounden duty to our common be⯑nefactor excepted, iii. 18. [15].
I am ſure God has bleſſed me for your ſakes, and has thus more than anſwered for us, all our prayers: We only prayed, that God would preſerve you honeſt, and me virtuous; and ſee how we are crowned with bleſſings, that make us the admiration of all that know us, iii. 19. [15].
FLATTERY and pretended Admiration are the engines by which men make their firſt approaches to the hearts of women, iv. 235. [203].
The perſon ought to be deſpiſed who attempts to be⯑ſpeak the favour of a faulty man by Flattery, or by ſeeking to extenuate his failings, iv. 400. [349].
See Advantages of men over women. Advice to Young Women. Love.
FORGIVENESS of injuries is the mark and privilege of a ſuperior mind, iii. 82. [65].
Thus Pamela reaſons with herſelf, when her maſter re⯑quired her to forgive Mrs. Jewkes;
I will forgive thee, ſince thy maſter and mine will have me do ſo, iii. 82. [65].
And, indeed, thou art beneath the reſentment even of ſuch a poor girl as I am, ibid.
I will pity thee, baſe and abject as thou art: And ſhe, who is the object of my pity, is ſurely beneath my anger, ibid.
My eye that uſed to quiver and tremble at thy haughty [32] eye, ſhall now, through conſcious dignity, look down thy ſcouling guilty one into ſelf-condemnation, iii. 83. [65].
Bear the reproach of thine own wicked heart, low, vile woman! That will be puniſhment enough for thee, without expoſing myſelf to the imputation of deſcending ſo near to a level with thee, as to reſent thy paſt baſe⯑neſs, when thou haſt no power to hurt me.
See her reaſonings on this ſubject purſued from p. 83, to 91. [66, & ſeq.].
Gentleneſs of nature, and placableneſs of diſpoſition, are graces of the fair ſex, iii. 91. [72, 73].
I have no notion, ſays Pamela, of that ſlight diſtin⯑ction that is often made between forget and forgive: I muſt forgive, but never will forget, iii. 91, 92. [73].
When I would rather ſay, adds ſhe, that I will re⯑member ſuch an action for my future guard; but I will try to forget it, as often as it occurs to my memory, if the remembrance of it will occaſion a breach in my cha⯑rity, ibid.
Offenders, ſmote with true contrition, will be the leſs able, from a generous forgiveneſs, to ſilence the reproaches of their own hearts, iii. 98. [78].
See Religion, &c.
IT is a great pleaſure to be able to deſcend with eaſe and reſignation from high to humble hopes, when ſuch cannot be anſwered with innocence, i. 82. [63].
An humble and ſteady mind cannot meet with very ſhocking diſappointments, let Fortune's wheel turn round as it will, i. 82. [64].
It becomes a good perſon in diſtreſs to make a virtue of neceſſity, and to try to bring real good out of the appearing evil, iv. 191. [164].
See Pamela's example in a deep calamity, for the illu⯑ſtration of this doctrine, iii. 192, & ſeq. [165].
See Adverſity. Heroic Poverty. Sickneſs.
IN order to preſerve the bands of a ſtrict Friendſhip, no⯑thing ſhould be permitted to lie unrevealed on the minds [33] of either friend, that ſhould be capable of being conſtrued into offence or diſobligation, ii. 194. [191].
The moſt durable ties of Friendſhip are thoſe which reſult from an union of minds formed upon religious principles, iv. 415. [363].
See Love. Platonic Love.
No one ought to make a mean court to the paſſions of a ſuperior; nor do wrong with open eyes, iii. 81. [64].
One perſon will ſhine in one way, another in another; each to be reſpected ſhould keep within his own ſphere of excellence, iii. 175. [138].
Let us give praiſe to the good, diſpraiſe to the bad, and every one try to amend one, iii. 342. [269].
We ſhould never leave till to-morrow, the thing pro⯑per to be done, that can be done to day, iii. 363. [287].
A prudent woman will not preſerve ſuch letters and papers, however innocent, as ſhe cares not her huſband ſhould ſee, leſt any doubts, in caſe of his ſurvivorſhip, ſhould ariſe from them of her conduct, when ſhe is no more, and which the papers themſelves do not fully ex⯑plain, iii. 475. [376].
No huſband, no earthly power, can diſpenſe with a divine obligation, iv. 11. [9].
Art ſhould never take place of nature, but be ſubſer⯑vient to it, iv. 50. [41].
Where there are beauty and wit on one ſide, and youth and ſtrong paſſions on the other, it is preſumptuous to rely upon our own ſtrength, iv. 237. [205].
The firſt appearances of evil ſhould be avoided, ibid.
Eaſily perhaps, at firſt, may that breach of morals be ſtopt, which when neglected, the waves of paſſion will widen, till they bear down all before them, iv. 253. [219].
Things will unavoidably happen in this life, in the moſt proſperous ſtate, to embitter our pleaſures, without [34] our ſeeking by our own wilful miſmanagements to make ourſelves unhappy, iv. 254. [221].
The ſinner, whom the Almighty graciouſly offers to reclaim rather by mercies than by judgments, ought to take care that he brings not upon himſelf the judge⯑ments by ſlighting the mercies, iv. 264. [229].
HE that is mean enough premeditatedly to do one bad thing, is not likely to ſtick at another, i. 20. [16].
Men who offer unworthy things to their inferiors, put it in the power of ſuch to be greater than themſelves, i. 24. [19, 20].
There is ſafety generally in poverty; danger too often in plenty, i. 29, 30. [24].
Indignation gives bodily ſtrength, i. 37. [31].
Every thing is pretty that is young, i. 70. [58].
Riches and power never want advocates, i. 89. [70]. 154. [194].
How eaſily do people, who give way to vice, go from bad to worſe! i. 108. [85].
Affected concealment excites curioſity, i. 203. [256].
We are apt to approve or diſapprove of an enterprize, as the event comes out to be proſperous, or otherwiſe, i. 227. [285].
There are no men ſo bad, but there are women as bad, ii. 5. [37].
The world often judges of paſt actions rather by the event, than by the reaſon of the thing, ii. 18. [46, 47].
A little weight turns the ſcale, when it hangs in equal balance, ii. 42. [66].
Perſons who doubt themſelves, are leaſt likely to do amiſs, ii. 55. [77].
The preſumptuous, the conceited, the thoughtleſs, ſel⯑dom eſcape falling into great errors, ii. 56. [77].
Gentleneſs of temper, and meanneſs of ſpirit, are too very different qualities, ii. 148. [153].
The moſt thoughtful beginnings promiſe the moſt hap⯑py proceedings, ii. 177. [177].
No man wants capacity to be honeſt and juſt, iii. 30. [25].
[35] He who will not be ſatisfied with a competence, will not with a redundance, iii. 32. [26].
The man who maintains a licentious theory, too pro⯑bably wants only opportunity and temptation, to carry it into practice, iii. 189. [150].
The moſt agreeable ſubjects are ſeldom ſtarted in a large company, iii. 276. [218].
A good cauſe will bear a ſtrict ſcrutiny, and ſhine the brighter for it, iii. 297. [235].
It is in every one's power to preſcribe rules for his own conduct, when he lets his viſiters ſee what they are, and that he will not be put out of his laudable way, iii. 301, [237].
People who would avoid buſtle, in endeavouring to do ſo, ſometimes make it, iii. 313. [247].
The reaſon why ſo little good, (as generally is the caſe) is done by public bodies of men, may be thus ac⯑counted for; An individual cares not to pull down upon himſelf the odium of a bad action; but when there are many to ſhare it among them, every one is leſs ſcrupu⯑lous, iii. 334, 335. [264].
A bad mind, a covetous or oppreſſive nature, will be the ſame, whether the perſon be a clergyman or lay⯑man; a married man, or ſingle, iii. 339. [207, 208].
Faſting, when one has a ſtomach to eat, gives one a gloomy and mortified appearance, iii. 417. [329].
He who is premeditatedly guilty of a bad action, will not, when ſuſpected, ſcruple falſhoods to endeavour to exculpate himſelf, iii. 450. [356].
One fault generally is the parent of more, iii. 473. [374].
Affectation and falſe politeneſs are often attendants on ceremony, iii. 501. [397].
We are all of us very ready to be perſuaded on the ſide of inclination, iv. 23. [19].
A woman hardly ever takes a journey, but ſhe for⯑gets ſomething, iv. 64. [53].
The world has ſometimes, by its report, united two people in one cauſe, who otherwiſe, perhaps, would have been but common acquaintance, iv. 251. [218].
[36] The greateſt miſchiefs often ariſe from the ſlighteſt beginnings, iv. 253. [219].
Indifferent pleas will have force in favour of a pro⯑poſal or argument, to which we have no repugnance, iv. 316. [275].
By graſping at too much, we ſometimes loſe what we were in poſſeſſion of, iv. 407. 409. [356].
When our hearts are engaged, we are for making every caſe we hear or read of, applicable to our own, iv. 445. [389].
The perſon who admires any particular good qualities in another, gives a kind of indirect aſſurance, that ſhe has the ſame herſelf, iv. 453. [396].
A MODEST perſon will endeavour to know the ex⯑tent of his Genius, and not ſuppoſe himſelf equal to every ſubject, becauſe he has ſucceeded in one, iv. 326. [284].
It is no ſmall point of wiſdom, to know our own ta⯑lents, ibid.
GOOD Men, tho' low in the world, are fit for all companies, and are preſent to every laudable occaſion, ii. 124. [134].
No conſideration of intereſt, or even of friendſhip, will induce a truly good man to do a bad thing, iii. 339. [268].
While a bad man will not want a pretence to diſplay his evil qualities; nor flatterers neither, if he be rich or powerful, to defend him in the worſt he can do, ibid.
IT is the part of a Good Wife to extenuate her huſ⯑band's faults, and to endeavour to give the world a good opinion of him, iii. 196. [156].
It will be a great comfort to a good woman, who has married a libertine, if ſhe can find that his licentiouſ⯑neſs is reduced to notions only, iii. 197. [156].
See Clergyman's Wife. Conjugal Piety. Huſband and Wife. Wife.
THE more humble will be a worthy perſon, as the more obliged, ii. 52. [75].
Great kindneſs ſhewn to a worthy inferior will make him double his diligence to deſerve it, ii. 56. [78].
A grateful heart will be delighted in every opportu⯑nity given it, to be uſeful to its benefactors; nor will be limited by the value of the benefaction, ii. 141. [147].
Gratitude is a noble gift, which, on proper occaſions, will make a perſon ſuſceptible of it, ſpeak and write, as well as act, above himſelf, iii. 17. [14].
When your worthy minds, my dear parents, ſays Pa⯑mela to hers, (whoſe hearts were overflowing with Grati⯑tude for the benefits heaped upon them by Mr. B's bounty) are likely to be too much affected by your Gratitude, raiſe your thoughts upwards, and conſider who it is that enables him to bleſs us;
And pray for him and for me. For HIM, that all his actions may be of apiece with this noble diſpoſition of mind: For ME, that I may continue humble, and con⯑ſider myſelf bleſſed for your ſakes, and for the ſakes of perſons, ſhall I ſay, equally worthy? And to be a re⯑warder, in the hands of providence, of this its bountiful agent, iii. 17, 18. [14, 15].
A juſt perſon greatly benefitted by another, tho' that other change his mind, and even injuriouſly treat him, will lament that change, but bear gratefully in mind the former benefits, iv. 168. [144, 145].
THAT man muſt be the moſt abandoned of men, who attempts the honour of a woman entruſted to his pro⯑tection, iii. 188, 189. [149].
HAPPINESS to a gentleman, a ſcholar, a philoſo⯑pher, ſeldom reſts in a greater or leſſer income; on the contrary, it is ofteneſt to be found in a competency or in a mediocrity, iii. 348. [274].
[38] We all know by theory, that there is no permanent happineſs in this life: But the weight of the precept is not felt in the ſame manner, as when it is confirmed to us by a heavy calamity, iv. 255. [221].
See Competence. Heroic Poverty. Low Life. Mar⯑riage.
AN honeſt poor man will be aprehenſive for the vir⯑tue of his daughter in ſervice, when ſhe is ſet above her condition in dreſs or appearance, eſpecially if ſhe be handſome, i. 5. [4, 5].
Riches and ſplendor are a diſgrace rather than a cre⯑dit, when ſet againſt honeſty and a good conſcience, i. 5. [5].
A poor honeſt man would rather live upon bread and water, than fare ſumptuouſly at the price of his child's virtue, ibid.
Such a one would rather ſee his child covered with rags, and even follow her corpſe to the church-yard, than to have her prefer worldly convenience to her virtue, i. 7. [6].
How much happier a choice is poverty with honeſty, than plenty with wickedneſs, i. 41. [33].
Innocence, in a low fortune, even in a ſimple mind, has many advantages over guilt, tho' ſurrounded with riches, and boaſting its knowlege, i. 43. [35].
Next to God's goodneſs, ſays Pamela, I owe every thing to your piety and good leſſons, my dear, my dear poor parents! I ſay the word poor with pleaſure; for your poverty is my pride, as your integrity ſhall be my imitation, i. 79, 80. [62].
To return from plenty to a low condition, may, ſays Pamela, be a little hard at firſt; but woe be to my proud heart, if, on tryal, I find it unhappy, in ſuch a caſe; for I will make it bend to its condition, or break it, i. 119. [94].
Nothing is mean that is honeſt, ibid.
Come to my arms, ſays Pamela to her third bundle, which contained her own mean apparel, my dear third par⯑cel, the companion of my poverty, and the witneſs of [39] my honeſty; and may I never have the leaſt rag that is contained in thee, when I forfeit a title to that innocence which I hope will ever be the pride of my life; and then I am ſure, it will be the higheſt comfort at my death, when all the riches and pomp in the world will be more contemptible than the vileſt rags that can be worn by beggars, i. 124. [98].
A worthy woman will either renounce or return thoſe preſents which were deſigned to be the price of her ſhame, ibid.
See Addreſs to the Rich. Advice to Young Women. Conſolation to the Poor. Cautions to young Female Servants. Love. Low Life. Maſters Behaviour to Female Servants. Poor not to be deſpiſed by the Rich. Servants. Temptations. Virtue.
MR. B's reaſons given to his Pamela, why people of birth, and born to high fortune, are often more un⯑happy in marriage, than thoſe in middle life.
We are generally educated wrong, ſays he. We are uſually headſtrong in our wills, and being unaccuſtomed to controul from our CRADLES, know not how to bear it, ii. 345. [314].
Humoured by our NURSES, thro' the fault of our pa⯑rents, we practice firſt upon them, by an inſolence that ought then to be reſtrained, ibid.
Next, we are to be indulged and favoured at SCHOOL. Our learning generally ſucceeds with us accordingly; and we reward our maſters as we did our nurſes, with greater inſtances of our inſolence than obſervance, ii. 346. [314].
After our wiſe parents have bribed our way thro' the cuſtomary forms, we are brought home, very little im⯑proved in our learning; and then our PARENTS take their deſerved turn, ibid.
After we have, perhaps, half broken their hearts, a WIFE is looked out for the young man. Family and for⯑tune are the firſt motives; affection, if at all to be con⯑ſulted, [40] the laſt. And two people thus educated, thus from their infancy indulged (the woman, in her way no leſs humoured, and even more neglected in her educa⯑tion than the man) are brought together; and what can be expected, but that they ſhould moſt cordially join, when married, to plague each other? ibid.
Neither of them having ever been ſubject to controul, nor hardly to contradiction, the man cannot bear it from one, whoſe new relation to him, and vow of obedience, he thinks ſhould oblige her to yield up her will entirely to his, ii. 347. [315].
The lady, well-read in nothing, perhaps, but romances, thinks it very ungallant, now, for the firſt time to be controuled, and that by the man from whom ſhe ex⯑pected nothing but tenderneſs, ibid.
So great the difference between what they both ex⯑pect from, and find in, each other, no wonder that miſ⯑underſtandings happen; that theſe ripen into quarrels; that acts of unkindneſs paſs, ibid.
Appeals to parents and guardians often enſue. If by mediation of friends a reconciliation takes place, it hard⯑ly ever holds; for why? The fault is in the minds of both, and neither of them thinks ſo;
Whence the wound, not permitted to be probed, is but ſkinned over; and, at laſt breaks out with more violence than before;
Separate beds are often the conſequence: Perhaps elopements; guilty ones ſometimes: If not an uncon⯑querable indifference; poſſibly, averſion, ibid.
See Marriages. Unequal Marriages. Huſband and Wife. Wife.
OF Miſs STAPYLTON; a young lady over-run with romantic notions, and having an high opinion of thoſe of love at firſt ſight, iv. 437. [382].
Of Miſs COPE; a young lady of too gentle and too unreſerv'd a temper; bearing inſults from her lover; ex⯑cuſing his fredoms with her perſon; and on his viſits be⯑ing prohibited, meditating an elopement to him, iv. 438, & ſeq. [383, & ſeq.]
[41] Of Miſs S.; a young lady deemed witty, cenſorious, and much rather inclined to excuſe the ſeducers of the other ſex, than the ſeduced of her own; tho' herſelf not free from danger from her own imprudence, iv. 441. [385].
Of Miſs LUCAS; in love with a young gentleman of free principles, her ſuperior in fortune, who declined declaring himſelf as to marriage, tho' he had the con⯑ſent of both fathers to the match; ibid.
See the concluſion of their ſeveral ſtories, iv. 471, 472. [412, 413].
The Hiſtory of COQUETILLA. Her faulty education, character, cataſtrophe, iv. 481. [419].
— of PRUDIANA. Her faulty education, character, cataſtrophe; ibid.
— of PROFUSIANA. Her faulty education, character, cataſtrophe, iv. 485, & ſeq. [424, & ſeq.]
— of PRUDENTIA. Her virtuous educa⯑tion; fine character, happy marriage. Her excellence in all the duties of ſocial life, 488, & ſeq. [427, & ſeq.]
A WOMAN muſt not always take her notions of Honour from thoſe of a man pretending love to her, i. 227. [180].
True politeneſs is but another word for Virtue and Honour, iv. 490. [429].
See Advice to Young Women. Libertines. Love. Promiſes.
WHAT a poor thing is Human Life in its beſt enjoy⯑ments! Subject to imaginary evils, when it has no real ones to diſturb it; and that can be made as effectually unhappy by apprehenſions, of even remote contingen⯑cies, as if we were ſtruggling with the pangs of a preſent diſtreſs! ii. 434. [387].
This imbecillity, duly reflected upon, ſhould convince us, that the world is not a place for the immortal mind to be confined to; and that there muſt be an hereafter, in which the whole ſoul ſhall be ſatisfied, ibid.
See Death. Religion, &c.
HUMAN Nature, in its corrupted ſtate, is the common ſewer of iniquity, iii. 339. [268].
AN humble and teachable mind is a great bleſſing, i. 119. [94].
Of all human graces, Humility is moſt to be prayed for by a perſon exalted from a low to an high condition, ii. 152. [156, 157].
A young woman of low birth and fortune, exalted by marriage to high rank, ought to retain her Humility, as well to do credit to her own good ſenſe, as to the judgment of the man who raiſed her, ii. 338. [307].
See Pride.
A WOMAN behaving with paſſion and diſreſpect to her Huſband, diſgraces herſelf as much as ſhe does him, in the eye of the world, iii. 482. [382].
The very women, who themſelves love dominion, will deſpiſe the man who bears inſults from his Wife, as well as the woman who offers it, ibid.
The Wife, Mr. B. ſays, whoſe paſſions are kept un⯑der an eaſy and genteel controul, is under great obliga⯑tions to her Huſband, ibid.
The woman who contends not with her Huſband is ſmaller points, will have a title to indulgence in thoſe greater which may not be points to which ſhe is indif⯑ferent, iii. 497. [394].
A woman's behaviour to her huſband after marriage, ſhould be as delicate as is conſiſtent with her plighted love. A careleſneſs in dreſs, inelegance in her perſon particularly, ought to be as ſtudiouſly avoided, as if ſhe were ſtill a ſingle woman, iii. 502. [398].
Conjugal delicacy is good policy as well as high de⯑corum, both in Huſband and Wife, iv. 51. [41.]
A prudent Wife will not leſſen her Huſband, by re⯑vealing to her friends thoſe errors, which ſhe can con⯑ceal, iv. 157. [135].
[43] Such a one will not ſuffer her Huſband's conduct, however faulty, to be arraigned in her preſence, by any of his pretended friends or companions, iv. 160. [138].
See Pamela's behaviour on ſuch an occaſion, iv. 160. [139].
The Huſband's breach of duty cannot warrant a fail⯑ure in that of the Wife, iv. 166. [143].
Patience and forbearance, and not upbraidings, are the weapons by which a good Wife will endeavour to ſubdue a faulty Huſband, iv. 166. [143]. 180. [155].
In matrimonial miſunderſtandings, a prudent couple will ſo behave, on making up, as not to leave room for future heart-burnings from the ſame ſource, ibid.
How much better is it to be the ſufferer than the of⯑fender! iv. 167. [144].
See Pamela's noble Sentiments on Mr. B's apprehended relapſe into his former guilty courſes, iv. Letter xxvi. [xxvi].
The generous forgiveneſs of an unjuſtly-treated Wife, demonſtrates in her a ſuperiority of ſoul, which ſhe has reaſon to glory in, eſpecially while ſhe can ſhew more compaſſion than contempt of him, iv. 167. [143].
When a man firſt begins to waver in his fidelity to his Wife (attracted, perhaps, by another object) then will a prudent woman double her aſſiduities to make his home and her company agreeable to him: By a contrary con⯑duct, ſhe may eſtrange his affections from her for ever, iv. 251. [217].
[See Advice to young married Women. High Life. Marriages. Unequal Marriages. Wife.
WE ſhould never have our own caſe in view, when we give our opinion of general rules, iii. 186. [147].
We are too apt to argue, in generals, with a view to juſtify our particular practices, rather than according to reaſon and juſtice, iii. 502. [398].
IMPROPRIATIONS. See Clergy.
ONE way to make our low relations happier, as well as better, creatures, is to make our favour to them the price of their Diligence and Induſtry, iii. 32. [26].
See Relations.
A KEPT miſtreſs is the ſlave of a ſlave, i. 224. [178].
See Advice to Young Women ▪ Cautions to young fe⯑male Servants. Heroic Poverty. Honour. Li⯑bertines. Maſters Behaviour to female Servants. Promiſes. Temptations. Virtue.
A LAWYER who is a good man, will be more noted for compoſing differences than promoting ſuits, iii. 23. [19].
VIRTUE and vice change names and qualities with Libertine men, i. 33. [27].
Libertines who ſcruple not to attempt the virtue of the wives, the ſiſters, and daughters of others, are the moſt jealous of the chaſtity of their own, iii. 56. [45].
Some Libertines make a merit of not attempting a married woman: This ſhews, that their paſſions are, ſo far as they adhere to this principle, in their own power; and it encreaſes the crime of thoſe, who robbing a ſingle woman of her honour, deprive her of that protection by marriage, which even ſuch Rakes as themſelves pretend to hold inviolable, iii. 287. [226].
Clumſy Rakes borrow the wit they retale. Their wickedneſs only is what they may call their own, iv. 400. [350].
Libertines muſt not be allowed to judge of women in general. They can judge only of thoſe they have been [45] moſt acquainted with: And who are they? iii. 412. [325].
It is well that rakiſh ſingle men do not intereſt any⯑body very intimately in their healths or preſervation. Neither the public nor private need to be much concern⯑ed about them; ſince their next heirs cannot well be worſe commonwealth's-men than they; and there is a chance that they may be better, iii. 462. [365].
What has not the wretch to anſwer for, who ſports in deſtroying a virtuous character; and in throwing upon the town, a poor creature whoſe love of him, and con⯑fidence in him, were all her crime? iv. 455. [398].
And who, otherwiſe, might have made a worthy figure at the head of ſome reputable family; and an uſe⯑ful member of the commonwealth, propagating to numbers good example, inſtead of infamy, diſeaſe, and ruin, iv. 456. [398].
To ſay nothing of what is ſtill worſe, the occaſioning too probably, the loſs of a ſoul; ſince final impenitence too generally follows the firſt ſacrifice, which the poor wretch is ſeduced to make of her honour, ibid.
The notion that a reformed Rake makes the beſt huſband, is a moſt preſumptuous, dangerous, and pernicious one, iv. 456. [407].
Mr. B's example not to be pleaded in defence of it; and why, ibid.
See Advantages of Men over Women. Advice to Young Women. Credulity. Female Dignity. Keep⯑ing. Maſters Behaviour to his Female Servants. Love. Love at firſt fight. Promiſes. Reform⯑ation. Virtue. Wit. Writers.
IT is a blameable ſign of Love, when we are ready to think well of a perſon againſt all appearances of de⯑merit, ii. 4. [35].
Where we love, we dwell on every little incident that can make for the advantage of the object, ii. 5. [36, 37].
Love, when permitted to reign in a tender boſom, is an abſolute tyrant, requiring unconditional obedience, [46] and deeming every inſtance of diſcretion and prudence, and even too often of virtue, an act of rebellion againſt its uſurped authority, iii. 77. [61].
How often do the blemiſhes of thoſe we love, appear to us as graces! Crimes themſelves will be conſtrued, by inconſiderate minds, into human failings; and thoſe are made a common cauſe of; and excuſed, or, at leaſt extenuated, by each perſon, for his or her own ſake, ibid.
People deeply in Love generally think too highly of the beloved object, and too lowly of themſelves, iii. 78. [61].
Love, or the paſſion miſ-called Love, puts its votaries upon the meanſt actions. It levels with the duſt the proudeſt ſpirit, iii. 225. [178].
True Love, bears not the thought of any object, but of that it ſighs for, iv. 74. [62].
Wrong methods taken with a generous ſpirit, in a ſuppoſed beginning Love, are often the means of bring⯑ing about the event moſt dreaded; and which, perhaps, but for thoſe wrong methods, would have come to no⯑thing, iv. 251. [218].
Perſons in a beginning liking, who have not had an opportunity to declare themſelves, will nevertheleſs find out a ſilent language, that ſhall be full as expreſſive as the plaineſt words, iv. 277. [240].
The paſſion which is generally dignified by the name of Love, and which puts its votaries upon a thouſand extravagancies, uſually owes its Being rather to ungo⯑verned fancy, than to ſolid judgment, iv. 459. [401].
Were we to judge of it by the conſequences that uſu⯑ally attend it, it ought rather to be called raſhneſs, incon⯑ſideration, weakneſs, any thing, but Love, ibid.
When once we dignify the wild miſleader by that name, all the abſurdities which we read of in novels and ro⯑mances take place; and we are induced to follow ex⯑amples, that ſeldom any where end happily, but in ſtory, ibid.
Love operates differently in the two ſexes. In wo⯑men it is generally a creeping thing; in man an en⯑croacher, ibid.
[47] Real Love fills with awe and reverence, the heart of the man who boaſts its impreſſion, iv. 470. [411].
It is pure in word and deed. The leaſt indelicacy even of thought, cannot mingle with it, ibid.
If therefore a man, be his quality or fortune what it will (the higher the worſe) preſume to wound the ears of the woman he profeſſes to love, with indecent words or images:
If he is continually preſſing her to place a confidence in his honour:
If he be regardleſs of his behaviour to her, or before her:
If he requeſt favours which a modeſt woman ought to refuſe:
If he treat either her perſon or dreſs with boiſtrous or rude freedoms:
If he avoids urging marriage to her, when he has a fair opportunity of doing it; or,
Leaves it once to her, to wonder he does not ſo urge her:—
In any of theſe caſes, he is to be ſuſpected; and his viſits ought not to be admitted, ibid.
See Advice to Young Women. Libertines. Platonic Love. Promiſes.
LOVE, at firſt ſight, ſuppoſes ſuch a ſuſceptibility of paſſion, as, however it may paſs in a man, very little becomes the delicacy of the female character, iv. 462. [404].
There are many chances to one, that a liking ſo pre⯑cipitate, ends unhappily, ibid.
What room can there be in ſuch a Love, for caution, for enquiry, for the diſplay of merit and ſincerity; and even for the aſſurance of a grateful return of Love, iv. 463. [404].
Love, at firſt ſight, is a random ſhot. It is a demon⯑ [...]tration of weakneſs. In a woman, it is a giving up [...]he negative voice that belongs to the ſex, even while ſhe [...]oubts to meet with the affirmative one from him ſhe wiſhes to be hers, ibid.
[48] Such a paſſion in a woman, ſhews that her heart has been too much in the power of her eye; and that ſhe has permitted her fancy to be much more buſy than her judgment, iv. 463. [405].
On the leaſt favourable impreſſions of this kind, to a man to whoſe character and merit ſhe is a ſtranger, a woman ought immediately to retire into herſelf, ſhe ought to reflect upon what ſhe owes to her family, to her cha⯑racter, and to her ſex, in order to check ſuch a random prepoſſeſſion; which, as there are ſo many undeſerving men to one who has real merit, may more probably make her the prey of a baſe man, than the wife of a worthy one, ibid.
A Love of this ſort may be ſtopt at a firſt liking, if a young woman broods not over the egg till ſhe hatches it into Love, iv. 464. [405].
See Female Dignity. Love.
PLATONIC Love is an inſidious pretenſion, that often betrays even worthy minds into ruin, iv. 253. [219].
The perſon pretending Platonic Love, may be com⯑pared, where the beſt is meant, to the fly buzzing about the blaze, till it ſcorches its wings, iv. 253. [220].
Or, to ſpeak ſtill ſtronger, Platonic Love is a bait of the grand deceiver, to catch the unexperienced and thoughtleſs, ibid.
Old age only can ſafely determine the barriers of Pla⯑tonic Love, iv. 254. [220].
It ought not to be pretended to, till the parties, the man at leaſt, can number ſome years beyond his grand climacteric, ibid.
Need there be a ſtronger proof of the danger of this pretenſion, than this; that it is hardly ever ſet on foot, but among young people? ibid.
Friendſhips, begun with ſpiritual views, between men and women of really worthy minds, have often ended groſly, ibid.
THE man who was born to a low lot, is not always the happier, whatever be his talents, for being lifted in⯑to a higher ſphere, iii. 429. [339].
To make ſuch a one eaſy and happy in his ſtation, is generally as much as ought to be done for him, or as he ought to wiſh for;
Native poverty is not a very grievous ſtate, where health is not denied, and induſtry and diligence are not wanting;
Labour is neceſſary to health: Moderate labour, which brings with it ſubſiſtence to a poor man, is far from being an evil;
Content alone is the bleſſing; if that be wanting where there is a competence, it will probably be ſo in affluence;
He who has paſſed the meridian of life, ſhould be ra⯑ther ſollicitous to improve his circumſtances in the way he has been uſed to, than to aim at a higher and more dangerous ſituation;
Has he talents for a higher ſphere, he will make that figure in his lower, that will exalt him among his com⯑peers, and make him highly uſeful to them; but which will give him little or no conſequence among his ſupe⯑riors; who by the advantages of education, added to talents, muſt be always his ſuperiors;
The peer and peaſant are equally links of the great chain of nature, and equally uſeful in it;
See theſe and other Reflexions of the like nature, iii. 429 to 433. [339 to 342].
See Conſolation to the Poor. Heroic Poverty. Re⯑ſignation.
A NOBLE mind will ſeek to ſubdue an enemy by acts of kindneſs, ii. 232. [221].
It is the mark of a ſuperior mind, when guilty of a fault, to be above extenuating it, iii. 193. [153].
[50] A good perſon will think it much better to ſuffer him⯑ſelf, than to be the cauſe of another's unjuſt ſuffering, iii. 265. [206].
MARRIAGE, even where the proſpects are happy, is a ſolemn and awful engagement; and, as it is a change of life that can never be recalled, will fill a thoughtful mind with anxiety on its approaches to it, ii. 151. [145].
If a modeſt young woman, on the day of her nup⯑tials, cannot forbear thinking apprehenſively on the great change of her condition, though with the man of her choice; how much to be pitied muſt ſhe be, who is com⯑pelled to marry the man ſhe cannot love, and perhaps to the loſing of him ſhe could! ii. 180. [179].
Such joys flow from virtuous and mutual love, as the narrow mind of the libertine cannot comprehend, ii. 200. [196].
A man or woman may have as good a chance for happineſs in marriage, with a perſon of fortune, as with one who has not any, iii. 185. [147].
With a man of ſenſe, a woman of tolerable prudence muſt be happy in Marriage, iii. 195. [155].
There cannot be any great happineſs in the married life, except each in turn, give up their own humours, and leſſer inclinations, iii. 489. [387].
Moſt of the miſunderſtandings among married people, are owing to trifles, to petty diſtinctions, to unguarded petulances: Who would forego the ſolid ſatisfactions of life, for the ſake of triumphing in ſuch poor conten⯑tions, could they overcome in them? iii. 497. [393].
No man, even by Marriage, can do complete juſtice to the woman he has robbed of her honour, iv. 302. [262].
The wife, Pamela obſerves, is abſolutely her huſband's. Every excellence by which ſhe is adorned, redounds to his honour, even more than to her own; in like manner, as no diſhonour diſgraces a man ſo much, as that which he receives from a bad wife, iv. 395. [345].
See Pamela's ſcheme of behaviour for a learned huſ⯑band, to his unlearned but docile wife, in order to promote the happineſs of both, ibid.
[51] See Courtſhip. High Life. Huſband and Wife. Love. Unequal Marriages. Maternal Duty. Mi⯑ſtreſs of a family. Pride. Servants. Wife.
IT is a difficulty for a perſon exalted from a low de⯑gree, be ſhe ever ſo prudent, to know how to be humble without meanneſs, and to aſſume dignity without arro⯑gance, iv. 52. [43].
A young woman married greatly above herſelf, has no reaſon, Pamela ſays, to think all the world her own upon it; having to encounter with the ill-will and contempts of her huſband's relations; with the envy of the reſt of her ſex; her huſband perhaps treated contemptuouſly on her account; herſelf conſidered as the loweſt of his family, and a diſgrace to it, iv. 53. [43].
Tho' Pamela made ſo great a figure in the ſtation to which ſhe was exalted, it is much more likely, that the generality of low-deſcended women, lifted up like her, would have their heads made giddy by their exaltation, than imitate her, and ſhine as ſhe did, iv. 394. [344].
The reſult is, that thoſe marriages are generally the happieſt, in which an equality of birth and degree are attended to.
MASQUERADES. See Public Entertainments.
THE man who offers freedoms to his female ſervant, deſerves not, however rich and powerful, to be called a gentleman, i. 19, 20, 21. [16, 17].
Jeſting from a Maſter to a ſervant, becomes not his ſtation, i. 43. [36].
It is not to be expected that a ſervant ſhould keep her diſtance to her maſter, when he departs from his to her, i. 44. [36]. 53. [43].
If, ſays Pamela to her maſter, on a certain occaſion, you could be ſo much afraid of your own ſervants knowing of your attempt upon a poor unworthy creature who is under your protection, ſurely you ought to be more afraid of God Almighty, in whoſe preſence we all ſtand [52] in every action of our lives, and to whom the greateſt, as well as the leaſt, are accountable, let them think as they pleaſe, i. 105. 196. [82. 155, 156].
When a Maſter throws off the maſk, and in private avows a particular regard to his ſervant-maid, ſhe has every thing to fear, if ſhe ſtays in his ſervice, i. 134. [106].
An honeſt ſervant, ſo circumſtanced, will refuſe to ac⯑cept of ſuch preſents as ſhall engage her gratitude, and be above the merit of common ſervice, i. 136. [108].
A Maſter of an uniformly good character, will make all around him eaſy and happy, iv. 359. [313].
See Advice to Young Women. Cautions to young Fe⯑male Servants. Duty to Superiors. Heroic Po⯑verty. Libertines. Low Life. Promiſes. Ser⯑vants. Temptations. Virtue.
THOSE mothers who can make the nurſery, and firſt education of their children, their delight, have a pleaſure to which other mothers are ſtrangers, iv. 378. [330].
Good habits and diligence cannot be too early incul⯑cated in the minds of children, iv. 381. [333].
What joy, what merit, muſt that mother have, who, in her child's education, has prepared the way to the inſtruction of a tutor, and given him up a mind half cul⯑tivated to his hands! iv. 390. [341].
At the ſame time having improved herſelf, not only in ſcience, but in the knowlege of human nature, by tracing in him what all men have been from infancy to riper years; watching the dawnings of reaſon, and de⯑lighting in every emanation of that ray of divinity, ibid.
What mother, who loves her children, can think ſhe can take too much pains in cultivating their minds? iv. 417. [365].
See the deſcription of Pamela in her nurſery, ſurround⯑ed by her children; iv. 474, & ſeq. [415. & ſeq].
See Children in early Infancy. Children in their In⯑fantile State, &c. Children and Servants. Edu⯑cation. Female Education. Miſtreſs of a Fa⯑mily. Pride. Servants. Wife.
TO find out, to praiſe, to reward, extraordinary Me⯑rit, is next to having it one's ſelf, iii. 415. [328].
The man who, on a firſt acquaintance, is not forward of ſpeech, may be thought to have a merit that lies deeper than common obſervation can reach, iv. 10. [8].
See Baſhfulneſs. Modeſty.
A MISTRESS of a Family ſhould never be unpre⯑pared to receive ſuch company as her huſband ſhall think fit to introduce to his table, ii. 215. [208].
Nor will ſhe, if prudent, ſhew diſcompoſure on be⯑ing broken in upon by unexpected gueſts, ii. 221. [211].
She will be facetious, kind, obliging to all her gueſts; and if to any more than the reſt, to thoſe who have the leaſt reaſon to expect diſtinction from her; and who are of the loweſt rank at table: Thus will ſhe cheer the doubting mind, and aſſure all the reſt, ii 221. [213].
Nor will ſhe, if polite, ſuffer herſelf to be diſturbed at the blunders of careleſs ſervants, however diſconcert⯑ing to the oeconomy of the table thoſe blunders may be, ibid.
A good Miſtreſs of a Family and prudent manager, will do more with her ſervants by kindneſs and good humour, than a miſtreſs of another character will do by anger, by paſſion, and continual fault-finding, iii. 295. [233].
She will make herſelf miſtreſs of the ſhould-be, the why, the wherefore, and the how, iii. 297. [234].
She will do every thing with diſpatch, clearing all as ſhe goes, and leaving nothing to come over again, that can be performed at once, ibid.
By which means every hand will be clear to under⯑take a new work, as well as her own head to direct it. There will be no hurry or confuſion; but every coming hour will be unincumbered with the duties of the laſt, ibid.
A new married Miſtreſs of a Family, generally on the entrance into her charge, makes as many enemies as [54] ſhe diſmiſſes ſervants; yea, more, ſince the friends of thoſe diſmiſſed, are uſually to be included in the number, iv. 58. [48].
For an account of family order and oeconomy; harmony among ſervants, &c. at Mr. B's, ſee iv. 60 to 63. [50 to 52].
See Children and Servants. Clergyman's Wife. Huſband and Wife. Marriage. Maternal Duty. Pride. Servants. Wife.
THOSE who doubt themſelves moſt, generally err leaſt, ii. 152. [157].
A modeſt woman who does not expreſs her diſplea⯑ſure, at flagrant liberties of ſpeech taken before her, by men of profligate characters, will be thought by them an hypocrite, iii. 133. [105].
Modeſty is always a ſign of merit, iii. 320. [252].
Over-Modeſty borders nearly on pride: And too li⯑beral ſelf-accuſations are generally but ſo many traps for praiſe, iv. 50. [41].
See Baſhfulneſs. Merit. Modeſty. Rectitude of Mind. Shame.
A MORAL Man ought not to be ſatisfied with him⯑ſelf, till he alſo becomes a religious man, iv. 407. [356].
See Good Man. Religion.
NURSES. See Children in their Infancy. Maternal Duty.
NURSERY TALES. See iv. 474. & ſeq. [415. & ſeq].
IT is the mark of a poor condition, to receive fa⯑vours; of a rich mind to confer them, ii. 52. [75].
It is one of the moſt uneaſy ſituations that a truly grateful mind can be in, to labour under the weight of [55] ſuch Obligations to a generous benefactor, as it is ſen⯑ſible it can neither deſerve nor return, ii. 120. [130].
See Addreſs to the Rich. Beneficence. Charity. Gratitude. Low Life. The Rich.
OBSTINATE people, who have adopted a particular conduct, frequently chooſe rather to perſiſt in an error, than own they have been in one, iii. 218. [172].
PEOPLE who uſe art, to hide their age, turn a ſubject of reverence into one of ridicule, iv. 308. [268].
See Pamela's obſervations on the affectation of Miſs Judy Swynford, a maiden of fifty-five, wanting to be thought younger than ſhe was, iv. 308 to 311. [268 to 270].
AN old Rake and an old Beau, are contemptible crea⯑tures, ii. 227. [217].
A man in years, who allows himſelf in taking inde⯑cent liberties of ſpeech before young people, eſpecially before his own daughters, not only expoſes himſelf to juſt ridicule, but them to inſults, and is utterly inexcuſe⯑able, iii. 132. [105]. 165, & ſeq. [131, & ſeq.]
What more contemptible character can there be, than that of a man who carries his vices into old age, retain⯑ing a paſſion for his juvenile follies, even after the power of ſinning has left him? iv. 167. [144].
See Double Entendre. Libertines.
OPERA. See Public Entertainments.
THE diſobedient Child entitles not itſelf to the bene⯑fit of its Parent's prayers, i. 27. [22].
The virtue of a Child gives vigour to the mind and perſon of a worthy Parent, i. 47. [39].
[56] Poor Parents are as much intitled to their children's duty, and to be conſulted by them in weighty articles, as if they were rich, i. 237. [189].
Parents in doing for their Children who are in mis⯑fortune, ſhould weigh well, whether even their own im⯑poveriſhment would retrieve their Children's unhappy circumſtances; and whether, in other words, it would not add ruin to ruin; and that of helpleſs old age to, perhaps, that of ſturdy youth, iii. 8. [7].
There cannot be a greater happineſs on this ſide the grave, than thoſe Parents know, who, by the tried vir⯑tue of their Child, are raiſed from narrow to affluent circumſtances, iii. 9. [8].
It is unhappy for Parents when they behold the bodies of their children grow up to the ſtature of men and women, and their minds keep not equal pace; but are ſtill thoſe of boys or girls, iv. 290. [252].
See Children in their early Infancy. Children in their Infantile State, &c. Children and Servants. Education. Example, Filial Piety. Heroic Poverty. Huſband and Wife. Marriage. Ma⯑ternal Duty. Miſtreſs of a Family. Wife.
PASSIONATE people, if of ingenuous minds, and not conceited, may, by a proper behaviour, be overcome; and when they are, will be as acknowleging, as before they were impetuous, iii. 220. [174].
Paſſion, when violent, deforms and debaſes the nobleſt minds, ii. 320. [293]. iii. 293. [231].
Our Paſſions are given us for excellent purpoſes, and may be made ſubſervient to the nobleſt, iv. 303. [264].
See Anger. Pride.
PATRONS are, in a great meaſure, accountable for the morals and fitneſs of the perſons they preſent. Had I twenty livings in my gift, ſays Mr. B. I ought not to prefer my brother to any one of them, if his morals and characters were not likely to do honour [57] to the Church, as well as to my preſentation, iii. 356. [281].
See for Mr. B's opinion of thoſe patrons, who, when a living falls, rob the regularly-bred clergyman, by getting ſome kinſman admitted into it, be he ever ſo defective in Morals, Character, or Learning, iii. 357. [281].
See Clergy.
SUDDEN repentance and amendment, where a perſon has had a bad view upon another, are to be ſuſpected, i. 102. [80].
Yet, as divine grace is not confined to ſpace of time, and as remorſe may have ſmitten the heart of a once ill-deſigning man, it is good to preſerve our charity, yet not depart from our caution, ibid.
That Penitence is the moſt likely to hold, which takes place before calamity and affliction ſeizes the heart, iii. 137. [109].
May the divine goodneſs, ſays Pamela to the penitent Jewkes, enable you to perſevere in the courſe you have entred upon! iii. 138. [110].
When you can taſte an all-ſurpaſſing pleaſure in ſetting an example that may be of advantage to the ſouls of others, you may be aſſured, that you are in a right way; and that the woe that is pronounced againſt the preſumptuous ſinner, belongs not to you, ibid.
Two things only, adds ſhe, let me caution you againſt, That after your Penitence, you return not to your evil ways; and that you deſpond not in the divine mer⯑cy, ibid.
Next, to not commiting a ſin, is the repenting of it when committed; and the reſolving, however tempted, to avoid repeating it, iv. 301. [262].
See Reformation.
PLAYS. See Public Entertainments.
PLURALITIES. See Clergy.
A MEMBER of parliament can neither anſwer to his conſtituents, or to his conſcience, his non-attendance on the national buſineſs, iii. 128. [101].
Should any good motion be loſt by one, or by a few, every abſent member has it to reproach himſelf, with the evil conſequences of its failure, iii. 128. [102].
A good man will not be attached to party. He would be glad to give an adminiſtration every vote. Thoſe who are always in oppoſition to a miniſtry, muſt be ſometimes wrong as well as they, iii. 210. [166]. iv. 154. [132].
Yet, in a conſtitution like the Britiſh, where each of the legiſlative powers is deſigned to be a check on the other, there may happen caſes, where an oppoſition may be neceſſary for its preſervation, ibid.
THE greateſt families have ſome among them, who are unhappy, and low in life; and ſhall any of ſuch, re⯑proach a lower-born with having twenty poor relations, becauſe they themſelves have not perhaps above five? iii. 28. [22].
Poverty is a very neceſſary ſtate, in the ſcale of beings, iii. 28. [23].
Who ſhall be aſhamed of their poor relations, who have done nothing to be aſhamed of? ibid.
Let not thoſe who reproach others for being low⯑born, give occaſion to retort the reproach for low actions, ibid.
We ſhould endeavour to judge of one another, as God, at the laſt day, will judge of us all; and then, the honeſt peaſant will ſtand fairer in our eſteem, than the guilty peer, ibid.
Every one, ſays Pamela, who acts juſtly and honeſtly, will I look upon as my relation, whether he be ſo or not; and the more ſuch a one wants my aſſiſtance, the more intitled to it ſhall he be, as well as to my eſteem, 28, 29. [23].
[59] While thoſe who deſerve it not, muſt expect nothing from me, but compaſſion and my prayers, were they my brothers or ſiſters, ibid.
It is true, adds ſhe, had I not been poor and lowly, I might not have thought thus; but if it be a right way of thinking, it is a bleſſing that I was ſo: And that ſhall never be matter of reproach to me, which, one day, will, I hope, be matter of juſtification, ibid.
See Conſolation to the Poor. Heroic Poverty. Pride. Relations. The Rich.
THERE is a ſecret pleaſure in hearing ourſelves praiſ⯑ed: But on ſuch occaſions, a worthy mind will rather reſolve to merit the praiſe, than to be puffed up with it, i. 9. [8].
Praiſe given to the worthy, will be an incentive to deſerve more praiſe, rather than to pride and arrogance, i. 14. [12]. iii. 97. [77].
Perſons only who are not uſed to praiſe, will be vain of it, ii. 131. [139]. iii. 33. [27].
Can a good perſon ſit down with eaſe, under a praiſe he knows he deſerves not? iii. 97. [77].
If a woman diſclaims not the praiſes attributed to her, ſhe gives an earneſt that ſhe will endeavour to deſerve them: Nor, if ſhe be good, will ſhe reſt, till ſhe does, ibid.
Kind admonitions, cloathed in the agreeable ſhape of praiſe, will make a generous mind reſolve to merit the applauſe conferred, iii. 298. [235].
The Praiſe of thoſe we reverence, is the nobleſt incite⯑ment to duty, ibid.
Praiſe of friends in preſence ſhould not be given at the expence of the abſent, iii. 312. [246].
PEOPLE proud of their deſcent, and deſpiſing thoſe who have not that to boaſt of, never think what a ſhort ſtage life is, and that a time is coming when they and the meaneſt ſhall be on a level, ii. 27. [54].
[60] The philoſopher, who looked on the ſkull of a king, and that of a poor man, ſaw no difference between them, ibid.
The richeſt princes and the pooreſt beggar are to have one great and juſt judge at the laſt day; who will not diſtinguiſh between them according to their ranks when in life, but according to the neglected opportuni⯑ties afforded to each. How much greater then, as the opportunities were greater, muſt be the condemnation of the one, than of the other? ibid.
Keep me, heaven, ſays Pamela, from a high condi⯑tion, if my mind ſhall ever be ſo mean, as to be proud, ii. 28. [54].
The proudeſt families had their riſe; and perhaps, a few centuries ago, the pooreſt, had they kept records of theirs, would have been able to vie with them in an⯑ceſtry, ii. 28. [54, 55].
And who knows, but that a century hence, the now⯑deſpiſed families may revel in their eſtates, while their deſcendants may be reduced to the others dunghills? ibid.
And, perhaps, ſuch is the vanity, as well as change⯑ableneſs of human affairs, in their turn, ſet up for Pride of family, and deſpiſe the others? ibid.
Providence diſpenſes various parts for people of dif⯑ferent conditions to act, ii. 29. [55].
Little reaſon have thoſe to be proud of their birth, who forget what belongs to civility and good manners, ii. 147. [152].
Proud hearts, tho' convinced of error, come not down all at once, ii. 339. [308].
The world loves to mortify Pride, and in caſes of the pride of upſtarts, will always remember, what ſuch would wiſh it to forget, iii. 5. [4].
To what childiſh follies does pride ſometimes make even perſons of diſcretion ſtoop, when perverſeneſs gets the better of good ſenſe! iii. 218. [173].
Proud and conceited people frequently confine polite⯑neſs, good ſenſe, and penetration, to an approbation of their conduct and judgment, iii. 219. [173.]
[61] It little becomes Pride to do any thing that wants an excuſe, iii. 220. [174].
Though a cenſure lies againſt thoſe who are poor and Proud, yet is Pride ſooner to be forgiven in a poor perſon, than in a rich one; ſince in the latter it is inſult and arrogance; in the former, it may be a de⯑fence againſt temptations to diſhoneſty; and, if mani⯑feſted on proper occaſions, may indicate a natural brave⯑ry of mind, which the frowns of fortune cannot de⯑preſs, iv. 304. [264].
Pride may be made a ſubſtitute to virtue, in high, raſh, and inconſiderate female minds; and as it may keep ſuch from engaging with improper perſons in marriage, and from other mean actions, it is not to be wholly ſubdued in young people, iv. 305. [265].
Diſcretion, and riper years, may add to their di⯑ſtinguiſhing faculty; for, as ſome have no notion of Pride ſeparate from arrogance and imperiouſneſs, ſo others know no difference between humility and mean⯑neſs, ibid.
The more diſtinction a proud perſon aims to obtain, the leſs he will have paid him, iv. 363. [317].
Pride is meanneſs, ibid.
See Heroic Poverty. Humility. The Poor not to be deſpiſed by the Rich. Proſperity. Rectitude of Mind. Religion. The Rich.
A MAN need not make Promiſes to a woman who ſhews a readineſs to confide in him without, and allows him freedoms ſhe ought not to indulge him in, iii. 440. [347].
A prudent man will never be drawn in to make a blindfold Promiſe, iii. 357. [382].
See Advice to Young Women. Libertines. Love. Temptations. Virtue.
A WORTHY heart will ever, in Proſperity, look up with thankfulneſs and humility to the gracious Firſt Cauſe of all bleſſings, ii. 201. [196].
[62] There is no living in this world, even in the moſt proſperous ſtate, without meeting with many occaſions of grief and concern, ii. 231. [221].
It is fit it ſhould be ſo, to wean us from a world of which we ſhould be otherwiſe too fond; like travellers on a journey homeward, who, meeting with good entertain⯑ment at ſome inn on the way, put up their reſt there, and never think of their journey's end, ii. 232. [221].
The thankfulneſs of a truly worthy mind, as well as its humility, will encreaſe as it is bleſſed with Proſperity, ii. 373. [336].
Minds greatly elated on a proſperous turn of fortune, give room to think, that they build their happineſs on the enjoyments of this life, iii. 7. [6].
What makes us, aſks Pamela, in our moſt proſperous condition, be always intermingling our fears of what may happen, whereby we leſſen the pleaſures of which we are in full poſſeſſion? iii. 145. [115].
Is not this apprehenſiveneſs implanted in our natures for wiſe and good ends, that we may not forget that there is a better and more perfectly happy ſtate, to which we ought to aſpire? ibid.
If ſo, what an uſeful moniter do we carry in our bo⯑ſoms, that ſhall make us conſider and reflect when in Pro⯑ſperity; and in adverſity teach us to bear up to hopes of a happier lot? ibid.
A very happy ſituation of affairs, will, of itſelf, (ſo imperfect are our worldly enjoyments,) fill us with ap⯑prehenſions on every occaſion that offers to remind us of quitting this life, iii. 478. 487. [378. 385].
See Death. Low Life. Religion. The Rich.
PEOPLE of quality, Lady Davers ſays, go to places of Public Entertainments, dreſſed out and adorned, as if they thought themſelves [and indeed they are] parts of it; and generally are too much pleaſed with themſelves, to be able to attend to what they hear or ſee, iii. 46. [37].
The Town Diverſions are pretty much the ſame one winter as another; a few variations in the faſhions only; [63] and thoſe contrived by ingenious perſons, who get their bread by diverſifying them, iv. 63. [53].
See Pamela's notions in general of theatrical perform⯑ances, iv. 67, 68. [56, 57].
The paſſion of Love is generally treated by play-writers, as if their aim was to raiſe a whirlwind which was to ſweep down reaſon, religion, and decency, and to carry away before it, every duty, iv. 68. [57].
So that all the example this vehement paſſion can ſet, is, to ſhew a diſappointed lover how he may rage, ſtorm, reſent and revenge, ibid.
See particularly Pamela's obſervations on the tragedy of The DISTRESS'D MOTHER, iv. 68 to 88. [57 to 74].—On the comedy call'd The TENDER HUS⯑BAND, iv. 88 to 98. [74 to 83].—On the OPERA, iv. 99 to 104. [83 to 88].—On MASQUERADES, iv. 104 to 112. [88 to 95].
Every nation has its peculiar excellence in taſte; that of the French, is comedy and harlequinery; that of the Italian, muſic and opera; that of the Engliſh, maſcu⯑line and nervous ſenſe, both in tragedy and comedy, iv. 100. [84].
Why can't we, Pamela asks, keep to our own parti⯑cular national excellence, and let others retain theirs? ibid.
When once we, in general, prefer ſound to ſenſe, we ſhall deviate from our own worthineſs, and, at beſt, be but the apes, as well as dupes, of thoſe we may ſtrive to imitate, but never can reach, much leſs excel, ibid.
When thoſe who underſtand not Italian, return from an Opera penned in that language, and are aſked their opinion on what they have ſeen or heard, what but this can they anſwer, at beſt,—The ſcenery is fine; the com⯑pany ſplendid; the muſic raviſhing for the time: The action, however, not extraordinary; the language unin⯑telligible; and, for all theſe reaſons, the inſtruction none at all, iv. 101. [85].
Thoſe are leaſt to be truſted, at Maſquerades, and other the like free and promiſcuous meetings of the two ſexes, who are fondeſt of going to them, iv. 239. [207].
[64] Public places are rocks to the reputations of women who are not vigilant over their conduct, iv. 487. [426].
RAKES. See Libertines. Old Rakes.
A GENEROUS and truly deſerving perſon will not be puffed-up by the compliments made either to her mind or to her perſon; ſince, did ſhe, on compariſon with ſome others, ſeem to merit the diſtinction paid her, ſhe will reflect that ſhe owes not to herſelf the talents or form for which ſhe is admired, ii. 52. [75].
A worthy perſon will be able to pray, that God will fruſtrate her moſt deſirable wiſhes, if the poſſeſſion of them would corrupt her heart, and make her proud and vain, ii. 55. [77].
See Humility. Modeſty. Pride.
How greatly, ſays Mr. B. in his reformed ſtate, do the innocent pleaſures I now hourly enjoy, exceed the guilty tumults that uſed formerly to agitate my unequal mind! iii. 3. [3].
One ſuch hour, ſays he, to his Pamela, as I now enjoy, is an ample reward for all the benefits I can confer on you and yours in my whole life, ibid.
How will it anticipate low reflection, ſays he, when it will be ſeen, that I can bend my mind to partake with your parents, (on my retiring to viſit them in their farm) in a ſummer month or two, the pleaſures of their humble but decent life, iii. 5. [4].
And ſhall I not be rewarded for it too, with better health, better ſpirits, and a better mind? ibid.
Happy is the man who leaves his vices, before the power of committing them, leaves him, iii. 271. [214].
The man who reforms in the prime of life, and be⯑fore he is overtaken by ſome awakening misfortune, may be called one of the happieſt of thoſe who have erred, ibid.
[65] A too great aiming at perfection will be apt rather to diſcourage others than allure them, iii. 301. [237].
Good people aiming to reform evil ones, ſhould pro⯑ceed as able generals do in a difficult ſiege. They ſhould gain ground inch by inch, and then intrench and fortify, in order to maintain what they have gained; and not, by ruſhing at once upon an attack, ſubject themſelves to ſuch a repulſe, as may oblige them to aban⯑don an hopeful enterprize, iii. 301. [238].
In other words, Very great ſtrictneſſes all at once en⯑joined, are not fit for a beginning Reformation; but for ſtronger chriſtians only; and therefore poſſibly, in the former caſe, may do more harm than good, iii. 302. [238].
Thus Pamela encourages a deſponding gentlewoman, on a ſick bed, who had called herſelf miſerable, if all the good Pamela did, and her exemplary behaviour, were no more than neceſſary for ſalvation.
Don't be caſt down. The Almighty gives us all a light to walk by in theſe our dark paths, and it is my humble opinion, he will judge us according to the un⯑forced and unbiaſſed uſe we make of that light, iii. 302. [238].
I think it is my duty to do ſeveral things which, per⯑haps, the circumſtances of others will not permit them to do. In each caſe our judgments are as a law to each, ibid.
Circumſtances and ſituation may make that a duty in one perſon's caſe, which may not be ſo in another's; iii. 302. [238].
See Pamela's method of devotion in her family, 303, & ſeq. [239, & ſeq.]
The ſincerity of a man's Reformation is the leſs to be doubted, when he can bear being gently told by a friend of his paſt errors, iv. 401. [350].
Reformation, begun in the bloom of youth, in full health, and, humanly ſpeaking, altogether ſpontaneouſly, is indeed an hopeful one: But, as ſacred teſts muſt have been got over, by a man who was at any time of life a libertine; as the fences of virtue muſt have been broken down by ſuch a one; it is better that a woman of virtue [66] and honour prefers the man who always ſhewed a ſa⯑cred regard to thoſe teſts, who never broke down thoſe fences, iv. 466. [408].
See Religion.
Pamela reaſons as follows with her father, who con⯑ſulted her on the offer made him by ſeveral of their relations, to ſerve him in cultivating the farm and eſtate committed to his care by Mr. B.
WE are apt to expect more regard from relations, they more indulgence from us, than ſtrangers can have reaſon for, iii. 25. [20].
If you bear with their faults, there will be no end of impoſitions; if you diſmiſs them, you will have their ill-will; they will impute to pride and unnaturalneſs, your very juſtice. Your proſperous lot will raiſe you enemies, who will believe them rather than you, ibid.
The world, moreover, will be apt to think, you are crouding upon our benefactor a numerous family of low and indigent people, tho' they ſhould be ever ſo deſerv⯑ing, ibid.
One would not therefore, for their ſakes, accept of their ſervices; eſpecially as they may ſerve others with equal benefit to themſelves, iii. 25. [21].
For I would not that any of them ſhould be lifted out of his ſtation, and made independent at Mr. B's expence, if their own induſtry would not make them ſo; tho' I would never ſcruple, reaſonably, to reward their induſtry in the way of their callings, iii. 26. [21].
If you receive ſome of them, will not others expect to be equally favoured? And may not this ſow the ſeeds of envy among them, and occaſion ill will to you? ibid.
Mr. B. himſelf will perhaps, when he viſits you for a month or two, as he propoſes, be under ſome polite dif⯑ficulty how to avoid taking notice of people who are your relations, tho' were they not ſo, their offices would not intitle them to it, ibid.
And, if they are modeſt and worthy, would not his more than common notice of them, lay them under equal difficulty? ibid.
[67] As for myſelf, believe me, I could ſit down and re⯑joice with the meaneſt and remoteſt relation I have: But to the world's eye, I muſt, if I have ever ſo much reluctance to appear ſuperior in theirs, endeavour to be⯑have ſo properly as not to give additional diſcredit to his choice, iii. 26. [21].
And will you not have it in your power, without in⯑juring in the leaſt our common benefactor, and without incurring cenſure for your partiality, to do kinder things by any of our relations, when not with you, than you can do, were they to live with you? ibid.
There are undoubtedly more happy perſons in low than in high life; one would not, therefore, encourage in any of our relations, ſuch a proud ſpirit, as ſhould make them want to raiſe themſelves by favour, rather than merit, ibid.
I am ſure, tho' four or five years of different life had paſſſed with me in my old lady's days, I had, at a cer⯑tain time, a pleaſure which I cannot expreſs, in the thought of working for my living with you, ibid.
See Humility. Low Life. Pride. Servants.
RELIGION, which is of itſelf the moſt chearful thing in the world, is often made unlovely by the ſourneſs of its profeſſors, iii. 320. [252].
Religious Conſiderations, to a mind rightly turned, will lighten the heavieſt misfortunes, iv. 193. [166].
It is not to be expected that offended grace ſhould re⯑peatedly offer itſelf to a wilful tranſgreſſor, iv. 408. [356].
Who ſhall preſume to ſcrutinize into the dealings of the Almighty with his creatures; when real good often proceeds from appearances grievous to us? iv. 408, 410. [356, 358].
Vain is our dependance upon our own ſtrength, in the performance of our Religious duties, or even in that of our ſocial ones, iv. 409. [357].
Nothing but Religious Conſiderations, and a reſolu⯑tion to watch over the very firſt appearances of evil, [68] and to check them as they ariſe, can be of ſufficient weight, to keep ſteady to his good purpoſes a vain young man, too little accuſtomed to reſtraints, and too much uſed to play upon the brink of danger, ibid.
See Pamela's pious reflections on the death of Mrs. Jer⯑vois, and her faithful butler, iv. 420, & ſeq. [367, & ſeq.]
In lamenting for our departed friends, we ſhould not forget to be thankful for thoſe mercies which are conti⯑nued to us by the divine goodneſs, iv. 423. [370].
The beſt inſtruction will be ineffectual, if the method of conveying it is not adapted to the taſte and temper of the perſon intended to be amended by it, iv. 444. [388].
See Education. Rectitude of Mind. Reformation. Reſignation.
REPENTANCE. See Penitence.
REPROOFS of beginning faults are the kindeſt things that a parent, a maſter, a friend, can give to a friend, a ſervant, a child; ſince they will keep a docile mind from committing greater, ii. 194. [191].
REPUTATION is a tender flower, which the leaſt froſt will nip, the leaſt cold wind will blaſt; and when once blaſted, it will never flouriſh again; but wither to the very root, iv. 479. [419].
WHEN all human means fail in the apprehenſion of the deſpairing heart, then, if humble and reſigned to the divine will, does the Almighty often raiſe up a friend to extricate it from its diſtreſſes, i. 287. [229].
The very things of which we are moſt apprehenſive often become the cauſe of the happineſs of a prudent perſon, who places his reliance on Providence, ii. 115. [126].
[69] Thus may the unproſperous poor, after great diſappoint⯑ments, comfort themſelves with old Mr. Andrews, if they are as good and as diligent as he was, iii. 141. [112].
Let us take comfort that we did for the beſt. We left, as we ought, the iſſue to Providence, and that has turn⯑ed it as it pleaſed.
All the buſineſs is, our lot is not caſt for this life.
Let us reſign ourſelves to the divine will, and conti⯑nue to do our duty.
Our troubles will be quickly overblown. This ſhort life will ſoon be paſſed; and, I make no doubt, we ſhall be happy in a better.
See the reſt of the affecting ſcene, Vol. iii. 141 to 143. [112 to 114].
See Religion.
THE Rich and Poor are equally links of nature's chain, and mutually ſupport each other, ii. 29. [55].
Men of fortune, wantoning in the ſun-beams of a dangerous affluence, too often take more liberty with the reſt of the world, than ſuits either juſtice, or, on reflexion, their own peace of mind, ii. 69. [88].
How happy is the Rich man, who having meditated ſome great evil, is enabled to ſtop ſhort of the perpe⯑tration of it! ii. 114. [125].
If ſuch a one reſolves to do good to the perſon he in⯑tended to injure, but did not hurt, he will have double cauſe of joy, becauſe he will be able to contemplate on the good he does, without the leaſt inward reproach, ibid.
How many ways have the Rich to make themſelves, and their fellow creatures, happy! iii. 117. [93].
No one deſpiſes riches or deſcent, who has a title to either, iii. 185. [147].
Riches, with equal merit, in two competitors, ought to have a preference given to the perſon who is in poſ⯑ſeſſion of them (ſuppoſing the affections of a young wo⯑man diſengaged) for the ſake of the conveniencies they bring with them, ibid.
[70] But to permit Riches to be the principal inducement, to the neglect of ſuperior merit, that is a fault which many perſons ſmart for, whether the choice be their own, or impoſed upon them by thoſe who claim a title to their obedience, ibid.
God every-where provides the affluent with objects for their beneficence, iv. 194. [167].
See Addreſs to the Rich. Proſperity.
THE man who himſelf is not aſhamed of being re⯑proached for doing his duty, will turn the edge of Ridi⯑cule againſt the ridiculers, and obtain the applauſe of the wiſe and good, iii. 5. [4].
See Wits.
THERE is a time of life with all young perſons, that may be termed The romantic; which is a very dangerous period; and requires therefore a great guard of pru⯑dence, iv. 454. [397].
See Pamela's opinion of novels and romances, and the hurt which young perſons, of lively imaginations, may receive by being indulged in too keen a taſte for ſuch kind of writings, iv. 454. 461. [397. 403].
Romances in general are calculated rather to fire the imagination, than to inform the judgment, iv. 461. [403].
The hero in them is uſually diſtinguiſhed by tilts, tour⯑naments, marvellous and improbable adventures, which he is continually hunting after, in order to ſhew his proweſs; by engaging with monſters that never had be⯑ing, but in the writer's imagination, ibid.
The heroine, on the other hand, is, in them, taught to conſider her father's houſe as an enchanted caſtle; herſelf as a priſoner in it, and her lover is to break the charm, and ſet her at liberty. She is to be put upon climbing of walls, to drop from windows, to leap down precipices, and all to ſhew the violence of a mad paſ⯑ſion of which ſhe ought to be aſhamed; ſhe is to be [71] taught, by them, to look upon her parents, or guardians, as tyrants; to drown the voice of reaſon in the waves of indiſcreet love, to the debaſement equally of herſelf, her family, and ſex, ibid.
What can be gathered from ſuch books, for the con⯑duct of human life? ibid.
See Wit. Writers.
A MODEST Scholar is a companion for perſons of the firſt quality, iii. 316. [249].
See Education. Tutor.
SELF-INTEREST changes manners, and overcomes diſlike to the very perſons we, but for that, ſhould think but indifferently of, i. 19. [48].
So ſelfiſh are the hearts of poor mortals, that they are apt to change as favour goes, ibid.
A GENTLEWOMAN born, ſet at the head of the houſhold-affairs of people of condition, will, if ſhe is diſcreet, command the reſpect of the domeſtics of both ſexes, i. 12. [10].
Pamela, in view of her exaltation, reſolves,
That ſhe will endeavour not to go too low in her gra⯑titude to her maſter: Nor, to carry herſelf too high to the ſervants:
But yet will not ſeek to gain the good-will of the latter by meanneſs or debaſement:
That ſhe will aim at an uniform and regular conduct.
Willing, however, to conceal involuntary errors, as ſhe would be to have her own forgiven;
And not to be too induſtrious to diſcover real ones, that might be of no bad conſequence, and unlikely to be repeated;
Yet not to conceal ſuch as might encourage bad hearts, or unclean hands, in caſes where damage might enſue to [72] their principal; or where the morals of the tranſgreſſors ſhould appear wilfully and habitually corrupt:
In ſhort, ſays ſhe, I will endeavour, as much as I can, that good ſervants, in me, ſhall find a kind encourager; indifferent ones be made better, by inſpiring them with a laudable emulation; and bad ones, if not abſolutely irreclaimable, reformed by kindneſs, expoſtulation; and, if thoſe are ineffectual, by menaces; but moſt, by a good example;
All this, adds ſhe, if God pleaſes, ii. 153. [157].
The reputation of the principals of families lies more at the mercy of their Servants, than is generally con⯑ſidered, iv. 58. [48].
Servants who will do their duty with kind words, ought not to be treated with imperious ones, iv. 302. [263].
The miſtreſs who ſpeaks as haughtily to Servants on common as on extraordinary occaſions, when they do amiſs, weakens her own authority, and will be regard⯑ed no more in the one caſe, than in the other, iv. 303. [263].
The maſter or miſtreſs who is always finding fault with Servants, frequently occaſions more faults to be com⯑mitted, iv. 303. [264].
See Example. Miſtreſs of a Family.
IT is not the Shame of having committed a wicked action, but of detection, that often gives a bad man confuſion of face, iii. 454. [359].
What an abject thing is it for a perſon to be guilty of ſuch actions, as ſhall put it in the power of another, even by a look, to mortify him! ibid.
If a poor wretch can be confounded, by the diſcovery made by a fellow-creature, of any wicked action com⯑mitted by him, which he hoped to conceal, how muſt he appear before an unerring and omniſcient Judge, with a conſcience more condemning, than the accuſations of a thouſand witneſſes! ibid.
Thoſe who confidently delight to raiſe bluſhes in the modeſt cheek, and laugh when they ſucceed, ſhew them⯑ſelves to be paſt modeſty, and that they would think it [73] a diſgrace to change countenance, whatever were the occaſion, iii. 460. [363].
See Conſcience. Modeſty.
SHEEPISHNESS. See Baſhfulneſs.
PEOPLE labouring under an indiſpoſition or malady, ſhould not add a difficulty of being pleaſed, and an im⯑patience of ſpirit, to the concern which their attendants and relations have for their illneſs, iii. 131. [104].
It is not beneath a perſon of the higheſt quality to vi⯑ſit and comfort one of low degree, who is contending with ſickneſs, or who is ſtruggling in the pangs of death, iii. 485. [384].
The conſolations of women in health, to women in a ſick or ſuffering ſtate, are, as it may be ſaid, ſympatheti⯑cal; while thoſe of men to the latter, may appear to the ſufferer as ſpringing more from their fortitude, than tenderneſs, iii. 486. [384].
A tender mind, in apprehenſion of a criſis in the dangerous malady of a child, or near relation, ſuffers more in abſence from ſuſpence, than it could do, were it preſent, and ſaw the hourly progreſs of the diſtemper, iv. 258. [223].
See Pamela's behaviour and reflexions when her be⯑loved child was in danger from the ſmall pox, iv. Letter xxxvii.
See Death. Religion. Reſignation.
SPIRITUAL Pride is the moſt dangerous and the moſt arrogant of all ſorts of Pride, iii. 135. [108].
A GOOD landlord will employ a lawyer for his Steward, with a view to do right things, rather than oppreſſive ones, iii. 23. [19].
No Stile in Writing can be commendable, which is [74] not plain, ſimple, eaſy, natural and unaffected, iv. 452. [395]. [See Writing.
HE only who gave life, has a power over it, i. 288. [230].
To the following effect reaſons Pamela, at the pond⯑ſide, when ſhe laboured under a temptation to arown herſelf:
If, deſpairing of deliverance from an undeſerved di⯑ſtreſs, I deſtroy myſelf, do I not, in effect, queſtion the power of the Almighty to deliver me:
And ſhall I not, in that caſe, be guilty of a ſin, which, as it admits not of repentance, cannot of hope to be for⯑given!
And wilt thou, to ſhorten thy tranſitory griefs, heavy as they are, plunge both ſoul and body into everlaſting miſery?
Hitherto thou art an innocent ſufferer, wilt thou make thyſelf a guilty aggreſſor?
How do I know but the Almighty may have per⯑mitted theſe ſufferings, as trials of my fortitude, and to make me wholly rely on his grace and aſſiſtance?
Wilt thou, in one moment, ſuffer all the good leſſons of thy honeſt parents, and the benefit of their examples, to be thrown away upon thee; and blemiſh, in this laſt act, a whole life, which they have hitherto approved of?
What, preſumptuous Pamela, doſt thou here? Quit with ſpeed theſe dangerous banks, and fly from theſe daſhing waves, that ſeem by their murmurs, this ſtill night, to reproach thy raſhneſs.
Whilſt thou haſt power left thee, avoid the tempta⯑tion, leſt thy grand enemy, now, by divine grace, re⯑pulſed, return to the aſſault with a force that thou mayeſt not be able to reſiſt; and leſt thou, in one moment, de⯑ſtroy all the convictions which now have awed thy re⯑bellious mind into duty and reſignation to the divine will, i. 285 to 290. [227 to 231].
See Religion. Reſignation. Temptations.
SWEARING and Curſing is always profligate, but the moſt profligate is that which is practiſed in good hu⯑mour, and without provocation, iii. 459. [363].
See Libertines.
SHE who can glory in the honeſty of her poor pa⯑rents, is likely to be ſuperior to Temptations, i. 20. [16].
Temptations are ſore things; but without them, we know not ourſelves, nor what we are able to do, i. 29. [24].
Temptations ſhould be avoided. It is preſumptuous to truſt to our own ſtrength, i. 29. 56. [24. 46].
Women who give way to Temptation, contribute all in their power to make libertines think the whole ſex alike, i. 109. [85].
A generous woman tempted by her ſuperior, may not be proof againſt his kindneſs, tho' ſhe might againſt his anger. Such an one therefore ſhould fly from a Tempter, that can change his behaviour to her from the one to the other, i. 133. [106].
An honeſt heart is not to be truſted with itſelf in bad company, i. 243. [193].
None are tried or tempted beyond the power given them to reſiſt, i. 287. [229].
See Advice to Young Women. Libertines. Love. Promiſes. Public Entertainments. Virtue.
TOWN DIVERSIONS. See Public Entertainments.
TRAGEDY. See Public Entertainments.
PERSONS travelling into countries where the religion eſtabliſhed is different from their own, ſhould be careful, on the one hand, not to give offence to the people they are among; on the other, not to make compliances hurt⯑ful to conſcience, and diſgraceful to their own religion, iv. 412. [360].
The French politeneſs, and the Engliſh frankneſs of [76] heart, may make a mixture not diſagreeable in the be⯑haviour of travelled people, iv. 418. [365].
The honours paid abroad to Engliſh travellers, more than to thoſe of any other nation, ſhould be an incite⯑ment to them, as well for their own credit, as for that of their country, to behave worthy of the diſtinction, iv. 420. [367].
The ſubject of Travelling, or making the grand tour, entered upon in the following particulars.
The age of young gentlemen, from ſixteen to twenty-one, an improper one to ſet out upon their travels; and why, iv. 430. [376].
Mr. Locke thinks from ſeven to fourteen, a much more eligible one, ibid.
If the reaſons he gives for this age determine not, he propoſes, that the young man's Travelling be ſuſpend⯑ed, till that more ſedate time of life, when he may travel without a tutor, and be able to make his own obſerva⯑tions; and is thoroughly acquainted with the laws and faſhions, the natural and moral advantages and defects, of his own country, iv. 431. [376, 377].
Pamela deſcants on the advantages a youth may reap by home travelling, before he enters upon a foreign tour; propoſing the age of fourteen or fifteen for be⯑ginning it, by excurſions in the ſummer months, be⯑tween his other ſtudies, and as a diverſion to him, ibid.
She is of opinion, that theſe excurſions might be made to moſt advantage in company of his father, as well as tutor, and gives her reaſon for it, ibid.
If his father cannot accompany the youth, ſhe pro⯑poſes what may be of the next greateſt advantage in this ſcheme of home-travelling, to both ſon and tutor, ibid.
That the young man viſit the ſea-coaſts, as well as inland parts of Great Britain and Ireland, and the other principal circumjacent iſlands, iv. 432, 433. [378].
That he look into the art of navigation; the curious ſtructure of a ſhip, as he is a native of the greateſt ma⯑ritime kingdom in the world: From which knowlege, tho' but in theory, he will be taught to love and value the Britiſh ſailors, an uſeful and brave ſet of men, who [77] are the natural defence and ſafeguard of the realm, iv. 433. [378].
With the advantages which he will obtain by this knowlege of his own country, he will be qualified to go abroad, and be better able to judge of the different cuſtoms, manners, and forms of government of foreign countries, iv. 433. [379].
All his enquiries will be pertinent and manly: All occaſions of that ignorant wonder, which expoſes to ri⯑dicule the raw young men ſent abroad, would be taken away. He would make the beſt acquaintance, having ſomething to inform them of in relation to his own coun⯑try, in return for the information they give him of theirs. He would contract worthy friendſhips, and be looked upon as one of the riſing genius's of his country, ibid.
See Education.
TUTORS who make youth learned, do not always make them virtuous, iv. 193. [166].
Too little regard is generally paid to the merit and ſervices of modeſt Tutors, in the families of the great, iv. 338. [295].
The ableſt and moſt diligent Tutors are generally to be met with among the unprovided-for ſcholars; who will hope to be in the way of preferment, and will therefore be more aſſiduous in the duties of their charge, iv. 339. [295].
Indiſpenſible good qualities of a Tutor, enumerated from Mr. Locke, iv. 338, & ſeq. [294, & ſeq.]
See Mr. B's reaſons for recommending Scotiſh Tutors, iv. 351, & ſeq. [306, & ſeq.]
See Education. Travelling.
FARMERS and landholders who grudge the parſon his dues, ſeldom conſider, that they farm and pay the land⯑lord for no more than nine tenths of the lands they hold: Nor does the purchaſer, that he buys an eſtate with that [78] incumbrance upon it, and pays the leſs on that account, iii. 351. [277].
Not to mention, that the parſon has the ſame right to his due, by the laws of the land (to ſay nothing of an higher claim) that the gentleman has to his eſtate, or the tenant to nine tenths of his produce, ibid.
Are not the clergy in theſe proteſtant kingdoms, the fathers, the ſons, the uncles, the brothers of the laity; many of whom, however, grudge them a maintenance, iii. 352. [277].
What greater opportunities have three ſons out of four, of the ſame father, to grow rich; one of whom is brought up to the law, one to trade, one to phyſic, over the fourth, brought up to the cloth? And who grudges them their acquiſitions? iii. 352. [278].
See Clergy.
THE apprehenſion of a vapouriſh perſon will ever⯑more be aforehand with events, iv. 159. [136].
A PRUDENT perſon having to do with a deſigning one, will always diſtruſt moſt, when appearances are faireſt, i. 333. [266].
TEMPTATIONS are bleſſed trials to thoſe who have had ſtrength of mind to reſiſt and ſubdue them, i. 47. [30].
With what pleaſure can a child who has reſiſted temp⯑tation, look up to her honeſt parents, to what ſhe would have had, were ſhe to approach them as a guilty crea⯑ture? 48. [40].
The true Chaſtity is, when the perſon reſiſts tempta⯑tion in hatred of the ſin, rather than from the appre⯑henſion of inconſtancy in the tempter, i. 54. [44].
[79] Many a man has been made aſhamed of his wicked attempts, by a reſolute repulſe, who would have gloried in them, had he ſucceeded, i. 56. [46].
It is glorious in a perſon of low condition, to repulſe the baſe attacks of one in a high one, i. 63. [52].
A virtuous perſon of low fortune, labouring under the oppreſſion of the great and rich, and in the power of ſuch a one, will reſolve to be innocent of wilful crime, and if injured, will leave it to the Almighty to avenge thoſe wrongs, which ſhe was unable to avoid, i. 313. [250].
See Mr. B's propoſals to Pamela, and her noble rejection of them, i. 313, & ſeq. [250, & ſeq.]
An higher and ſincerer joy ariſes from the contempla⯑tion of a pure love, than can be known by the gratifica⯑tion of a ſenſual appetite, ii. 40. [65].
If Virtue reſtrains not the mind, vain is the watchful⯑neſs that is uſed to with-hold the perſon, ii. 45. [69].
The love of a man who chooſes a woman for the beauties of her mind, will be augmented, if ſhe juſtifies his motive by her prudent conduct, tho' thoſe of perſon fade, ii. 169. [170].
An high fortune is but an accidental advantage, and ſet againſt the riches of the mind, and an unblemiſhed virtue, weighs little in the ſcale, ii. 185. [183].
The great, tho' at the time they may be diſpleaſed that they are not obliged in an unjuſt command, will, generally, when they conſider the caſe, value the more for it the ſervant or humble friend who diſobliges them from principle, ii. 337. [306].
Women of birth and education who forfeit their ho⯑nour, are much more inexcuſable, than thoſe of meaner degree, who have not had the opportunities they have had, of knowing their duty, iv. 239. [207].
The failure of the latter may proceed from ignorance; but that of the well-bred will be attributed to inclina⯑tion or appetite; and, not to mention ſuperior motives to duty, what a diſgrace does that bring upon their ſex, what a triumph does it give to the other? iv. 204. 207. [208].
See Advice to Young Women. Cautions to young Fe⯑male Servants. Female Dignity. Heroic Pover⯑ty. [80] Libertines. Love. Love at firſt ſight. Pla⯑tonic Love. Modeſty. Promiſes. Public Enter⯑tainments. Rectitude of Mind. Religion. Re⯑putation. Reſignation. Servants. Virtue.
WHAT pleaſure can thoſe over-happy perſons know, who, from their affluence and luxury, always eat before they are hungry, and drink before they are thirſty, iii. 143. [114].
VOWS. See Promiſes.
MR. B. acquaints his Pamela with what his expecta⯑tions of his wife's behaviour to him, would have been, had ſhe been a princeſs; as follows:
I muſt have been morally ſure, ſays he, that ſhe pre⯑ferred me to all other men. She muſt have borne with my imperfections. She muſt have ſtudied my temper: And if ever ſhe had any points to carry, any deſire of overcoming, it muſt have been by ſweetneſs and com⯑plaiſance:
And yet, ſays he, not ſuch a ſlaviſh one, as ſhould make her condeſcenſion ſeem to be rather the effect of her inſenſibility, than of her judgment and affection:
I ſhould have thought I ought not to have deſired any thing of her, that was not reaſonable to be complied with; and that then ſhe ſhould have ſhewn no reluctance, uneaſineſs, or doubt, to oblige me, even at half a word;
Yet if I were not always in the right, I ſhould expect that ſhe ſhould bear with me, if ſhe ſaw me determined; and that ſhe ſhould expoſtulate with me on the right ſide of compliance;
This would have ſhewn me, that ſhe differed from me, not for contradiction ſake; but deſired to convince me for my own; and that I ſhould another time take fitter reſolutions.
[81] In all companies ſhe muſt have ſhewn, that ſhe had an high opinion of, and regard for me, whether altogether deſerved, or not.
And this the rather, as ſuch a regard would be not only a reputation, but a ſecurity to herſelf; ſince, if libertines ever attempt a married woman, their firſt in⯑citement, next to their own vanity, ariſes from her known indifference to, or contempt of, her huſband.
I ſhould have expected, therefore, that ſhe would draw a kind veil over my faults: That ſuch as ſhe could not hide, ſhe would endeavour to extenuate; and ſhew to every one, that I had her good opinion, whatever liberties the world took with my character.
She muſt have valued my friends for my ſake; been chearful and eaſy, whomſoever I brought home with me; and whatever faults ſhe had obſerved in me, have never blamed me before company; much leſs, with ſuch an air, as ſhould have ſhewn, that ſhe had a better opi⯑nion of her own judgment than of mine.
I know, proceeds he, my own imperfections: They are many and great; yet I will not allow that they ſhould excuſe thoſe of my Wife; or give her room to imagine I will bear faults in her, which ſhe can rectify, becauſe ſhe ſees greater in me.
Upon the whole, I expect, adds he to his Pamela, that you will bear with me, till, and only till, you find me capable of returning inſult for condeſcenſion; and till you think I ſhall be ſo mean, as to be the gentler for negligent or pertinacious treatment.
And then (your behaviour ſuch) I ſhould ſcorn my⯑ſelf, if there were one privilege of a Wife, that a princeſs, were ſhe my Wife, might expect to be indulg⯑ed in, that I would not allow to you, ii. 349, & ſeq. [316, & ſeq.]
See her obſervations on the above expectations, ii. 353, & ſeq. [320, & ſeq].
See Advice to young married Women. Good Wife. High Life. Huſband and Wife. Marriage. Ma⯑ternal Duty. Miſtreſs of a Family.
WIT is a wild quality, that does not always confine itſelf to exerciſes worthy of a right heart, iii. 189. [150].
Could a ſtandard be fixed, by which it could be de⯑termined what is, and what is not Wit, decency would not be ſo often wounded as it is by attempts to be witty, iv. 110. [93].
For Wits who treat women with contempt. See Fe⯑male Dignity.
HOW careful ſhould good Writers be, of propagating lewdneſs and immorality; ſince the works of ſuch are likely to live after them; and may help groſſer minds to convey ideas which ſuch would not otherwiſe be able to introduce into decent company, iii. 290. [228].
But if good Writers ſhould be thus careful, what have wicked ones to anſwer for, who throw down, as much as in them lies, thoſe ſacred fences of virtue, and lay the fair incloſure open to the invaſion of clumſier and ſtill viler beaſts of prey than themſelves; who, tho' deſtitute of wit, yet corrupted and armed by it, fill their mouths as well as hearts, with the borrow⯑ed miſchief, and propagate it from one to another to the end of time? iv. 399. [349].
And who otherwiſe would have paſed by the unin⯑vaded fence, and only ſhewed their teeth, and ſnarled at the well-ſecured fold within it, iv. 400. [349].
Great talents make a man more capable of miſchief; and, miſapplied, encreaſe the evil of his practices, iv. 400. [350].
See Public Entertainments. Wit.
YOUNG Widows, moſt particularly, ought to be watchful over themſelves and their reputation, for rea⯑ſons too obvious to need enumerating, iv. 223. [193].
See Reputation.
IF a man, in the prime of Youth, could as eaſily look forward twenty years, as he can near as many backward, what an empty vanity, what a mere nothing would be all thoſe groſſer gratifications, which now give wings of deſire to a debaſed appetite? iv. 212. [183].
There will come an hour, when now what gives a Youth the greateſt pleaſure, will have no part in his conſideration, but as the reflections on it will yield him miſery or comfort, iv. 213. [184].
See Death. Religion.
The Numerals, i, ii, iii, &c. denote the Volumes; the firſt Figures refer to the Octavo Edition; thoſe incloſed thus [ ] to the 3d and ſubſequent Editions of the Twelves.
GREAT allowance ought to be made for the warmth of a ſpirit embitter'd by unde⯑ſerved Diſgraces, vol. i. p. 206. [214].
People in Misfortune are apt to conſtrue even unavoidable accidents into ſlights or neglects, ii. 54. [145].
Adverſity is the ſtate of trial of every good quality, ii. 58. [149].
People in Adverſity ſhould endeavour to preſerve laud⯑able cuſtoms, that ſo, if ſun-ſhine return, they may not be loſers by their trials, ii. 58. 310. [149. iii. 44].
[86] When Calamities befal us, we ought to look into our⯑ſelves, and fear, ii. 151. 160. [238. 246].
Misfortunes are often ſent to reduce us to a better re⯑liance than that we have been accuſtomed to fix upon, ii. 159. v. 88. [ii. 245. v. 338, 339].
No one is out of the reach of Misfortune. No one therefore ſhould glory in his proſperity, ii. 159. [245].
Be a perſon's Provocations ever ſo great, her Cala⯑mities ever ſo heavy, ſhe ſhould always remember, that ſhe is God's creature, and not her own, ii. 175. [261].
Perſons in Calamity, when they wiſh for death, ſhould be ſure that they wiſh for it from proper motives. World⯑ly Diſappointments will not, of themſelves, warrant ſuch wiſhes, iii. 129. [266].
Adverſity will call forth graces in a noble mind, which could not have been brought to light in a proſperous fortune, iii. 277. See alſo ii. 344. [iv. 64. See alſo iii. 80].
People in Affliction or Diſtreſs cannot be hated by ge⯑nerous minds, iv. 85. [278].
People who thro' Calamity are careleſs of their health, will not perhaps be able to eſcape death when they would wiſh to do ſo, vi. 14. 41. [342. 370].
In the ſchool of Affliction we are taught to know our⯑ſelves, to compaſſionate and bear with one another, and to look up to a better ſtate, vi. 56. 191. [vi. 386. vii. 111].
The unhappy never want enemies, vi. 157. [vii. 74.]
The perſon who makes a proper uſe of Calamity, may be ſaid to be in the direct road to glory, vi. 192. vii. 112. [vii. 111. viii. 31].
Perſons who labour under real Evils, will not puzzle themſelves with conjectural ones, vi. 192. [vii. 112.]
Calamity is the teſt of integrity, vi. 277. [vii. 201, 202].
Diſtreſs makes the humbled heart diffident, vi. 286. [vii. 212].
Calamity calls out the fortitude that diſtinguiſhes a ſpirit truly noble, vi. 386. See alſo iii. 277. v. 212. [vii. 318. See alſo iv. 64. vi. 119].
[87] Certainty in a deep Diſtreſs is more eligible than ſuſpenſe, vii. 81. [423].
See Conſolation.
EVERY one's eyes are upon the conduct, the viſits, the viſitors of a young Lady made early independent, i. 120. [125].
Encroaching and deſigning men make an artillery of a woman's hopes and fears, and play it upon her at their pleaſure, i. 122. [126].
Artful men frequently endeavour to entangle thoughtleſs women by bold ſuppoſals and offers, and, if not checked, to reckon upon ſilence as conceſſion, i. 143. [149].
Women ſhould be cautious how they give up their own ſex in converſation with the other, in articles that relate to delicacy, i. 177. 267. [183. 276, 277].
Women, however prudent and reſerved, ſhould be careful that they do not give the man they intend to en⯑courage, reaſon to think that they balance on other com⯑petitions, i. 194, 195. 200. [i. 202. 208. iii. 173].
Men who want to get a woman into their power, ſeldom ſcruple the means, i. 241. [250].
A woman who lends an ear to a Seducer, may, by gentle words, be inſenſibly drawn in to the perpetration of the moſt violent acts, ii. 162. [248].
When women once enter themſelves as Lovers, there is hardly any receding, ii. 209. iii. 153. [ii. 293. iii. 289, 290].
The man can have no good deſign, who affects to a meek-ſpirited woman an anger which is evidently ma⯑nageable, ii. 274. [iii. 13].
A daughter ought to look upon a man, who would tempt her to go off with him clandeſtinely, as the vileſt and moſt ſelfiſh of ſeducers, ii. 279. [iii. 18.]
The woman who will correſpond with a known Li⯑bertine, indirectly defies him to do his worſt, ii. 319. v. 68. [iii. 56. v. 318].
A woman who is above flattery, and deſpiſes all praiſe but that which flows from the approbation of her own [88] heart, is, morally ſpeaking, out of the reach of ſeduction, ii. 337. [iii. 73].
Women ought to be careful not to give cauſe to the man they love, to think lightly of them, for favours, granted even to himſelf, which may be ſuppoſed to ſpring from natural weakneſs, ii. 345. [iii. 81].
Women ought not to think gentleneſs of heart de⯑ſpicable in a man, ii. 397. vi. 401. [iii. 130. vii. 333].
That man's natural diſpoſition is to be ſuſpected, whoſe politeneſs is not regular, nor conſtant, nor wrought into habit; but appears only in fits, ſtarts, and ſallies, iii. 7. [152].
An acknowleged Love ſanctifies every little freedom; and little freedoms beget great ones, iii. 24. [168].
To give a woman an high opinion of her own ſaga⯑city, is the meaſure that a deſigning man often takes to bring her to his will, iii. 25. [168].
I love, when I dig a pit, ſays Lovelace, to have my prey tumble in with ſecure feet and open eyes; for then a man can look down upon her with an O-ho, charmer! how came you there? iii. 25. [168].
A woman in courtſhip, for her own ſake, ſhould ſo be⯑have to the man ſhe intends to marry, as to ſhew the world, that ſhe thinks him worthy of reſpect, iii. 30. [173].
Libertines conſider all thoſe of the Sex over whom they obtain a power, as fair prize, iii. 103. iv. 156. [iii. 242. iv. 355].
There ſeldom can be peculiarity in the love of a rakiſh heart, iii. 106. [245].
The confidence which a woman places in a man, for his reſpectful behaviour to her, ought to be withdrawn the moment ſhe ſees in him an abatement of that reverence or reſpect, which begot her confidence, iii. 153. [290].
If a woman be not angry at indecent pictures or verſes ſhewn her by a Libertine, but ſmiles at them, ſhe may blame herſelf, if ſhe ſuffer from his after-attempts, iii. 145. [282].
[89] Even innocent freedoms are not to be allowed to a Li⯑bertine, iii. 146. [282].
To be puniſhed by the conſequences of our own choice, what a moral, inſultingly ſays Lovelace, lies there! iii. 148. v. 13. [285. v. 259].
A judgment may be generally formed of the reading part of the Sex by their books, Lovel. iii. 150. [287].
One conceſſion to a man is but a prelude to another, iii. 153. [290].
The man who complains of the diſtance a Lady keeps him at, wants to come too near, iii. 150. [289].
A man who means honourably will not be fond of treading in crooked paths, iii. 156. [293].
How vain a thing is it for a woman, who has put her⯑ſelf into the power of a man, to ſay, what ſhe will or will not do! iii. 158. [294, 295].
How can a woman, who (treating herſelf unpolitely) gives a man an opportunity to run away with her, ex⯑pect him to treat her politely? iii. 170. See alſo ii. 285. iii. 101. [ii. 306. See alſo iii. 24 [...] 240].
The man who makes a flagrant, tho' unſucceſsful at⯑tempt, and is forgiven, or expoſtulated with, meets with encouragement to renew it at an opportunity which he may think more favourable, iii. 188. 269. iv. 134. See alſo iii. 21. [iii. 322. iv. 55. 331. See alſo iii. 164].
Women of penetration, falling accidentally into com⯑pany with a Libertine and his aſſociates, will make them reflecting-glaſſes to one another for her own ſervice, iii. 211. [343].
One devious ſtep, at firſt ſetting out, frequently leads a perſon into a wilderneſs of doubt and error, iii. 250. [iv. 37].
The man who is backward in urging a Lady to give him her hand at the altar, ought not to preſs her to fa⯑vour him with it at public entertainments, iii. 252, 253. [iv. 40].
Libertines, in order the better to carry on their de⯑ſigns upon the unwary of the Female Sex, particularly againſt thoſe who are prudiſh, frequently make pretences to Platonic Love, iii. 357. [iv. 142].
If a woman ſuffers her Lover to ſee ſhe is loth to diſ⯑oblige [90] him, let her beware of an encroacher, iii. 361. [iv. 146].
The Libertine, who by his ſpecious behaviour can lay aſleep a woman's ſuſpicion and caution, is in the way to complete all his views, iii. 390. [iv. 175].
If a woman will keep company with a man who has reaſon to think himſelf ſuſpected by her, I am ſure, ſays Lovelace, it is a very hopeful ſign, ibid.
Women are apt to allow too much to a kneeling Lover, iv. 26. [215].
Nine parts in ten of women who fall, ſays Lovelace, owe their diſgrace to their own vanity, or levity, or to want of circumſpection and proper reſerve, iv. 46. [237].
Libertines, equally tyrannical and ſuſpicious, expect that a wife ſhould have no will, no eyes, no love, no hate, but at their direction, iv. 57. [248].
Travelling together gives opportunities of familiarity between the Sexes, ſays Lovelace, iv. 62. [253]. Women therefore ſhould be choice of the company they travel with.
Women ſhould be early taught to think highly of their ſex; for pride, as Lovelace ſays, is an excellent ſubſtitute to virtue, iv. 117. [313].
A woman of the brighteſt talents, who throws herſelf into the power of a Libertine, brings into queſtion thoſe talents, as well as her diſcretion, not only with himſelf, but with his lewd companions, to whom, in ſecret tri⯑umph, he will be proud to ſhew his prize, iv. 146. vi. 131. [iv. 344. vii. 46].
A modeſt woman fallen into groſs company, ſhould avow her correctives by her eye, and not affect ignorance of meanings too obvious to be concealed, iv. 148. [347].
A woman who has put herſelf into the power of a deſigning man, muſt be ſatisfied with very poor excuſes and pretences, for delay of marriage, iv. 150. [349].
Want of power is the only bound that a Libertine puts to his views upon any of the Sex, iv. 151. [349].
A fallen woman is the more inexcuſable, as, from the cradle, the Sex is warned againſt the deluſions of men, iv. 162. [361].
Men preſume greatly on the liberties taken, and [91] laughed off, in Romping, iv. 174. See alſo iv. 4. [v. 1. See alſo iv. 191].
A Lady conſcious of dignity of perſon ſhould mingle with it a ſweetneſs of manners, to make herſelf beloved, as well as reſpected, by all who approach her, iv. 210. [v. 41.]
A man who inſults the modeſty of a woman, as good as tells her, that he has ſeen ſomething in her conduct, that warranted his preſumption, iv. 294. [v. 128].
A man who has offered the laſt indignity to a woman, yet expects forgiveneſs from her, muſt think her as weak as he is wicked, iv. 294. 365. v. 311. [v. 129. 203. vi. 224].
The woman who behaves with diſreſpect, either to her accepted Lover, or to her Huſband, gives every vain man hope of ſtanding well with her, iv. 302. v. 396. [v. 136, 137. vi. 315].
Clariſſa apprehends that Lovelace might have ground to doubt her conduct, from having been able to prevail upon her to correſpond with him againſt paternal prohi⯑bition, and the light of her own judgment, iv. 358. v. 220. [v. 196. vi. 126, 127].
The niceſt circumſtances cannot be too nice to be at⯑tended to by women who are obliged either to converſe or correſpond with ſree livers, v. 21. [268].
A woman who, when attempted, deſcends to expoſtu⯑lation, lets the offender know, that ſhe intends to for⯑give him, v. 48. [296].
A man, whatever are his profeſſions, always thinks the worſe of a woman, who forgives him for making an attempt on her virtue, v. 49. [297].
A man, who offers indecencies to a woman, depends for ſecrecy and forgiveneſs upon his own confidence, and her baſhfulneſs, v. 70. [320].
The woman who takes any indirect ſteps in favour of a Libertine, if ſhe eſcape preſent ill-treatment from him, intitles herſelf, when his Wife, to his future jealouſy and cenſure, v. 93. [344].
She who puts herſelf out of a natural protection, is not to expect miracles in her favour, v. 119. [vi. 21].
The woman who hopes to reclaim a Libertine, may [92] have reaſon to compare herſelf to one, who, attempt⯑ing to ſave a drowning wretch, is drawn in after him, and periſhes with him, v. 219. vi. 46. [vi. 125. 376].
Men take great advantages even of women of cha⯑racter, who can bear their free talk and boaſts of Liber⯑tiniſm without reſentment, v. 286, 287. [vi. 198, 199].
Chaſtity, like piety, is an uniform grace. If in look, if in ſpeech, a girl give way to undue levity, depend upon it, ſays Lovelace, the devil has already got one of his cloven feet in her heart, v. 316. [vi. 229, 230].
That woman muſt be indeed unhappy, whoſe conduct has laid her under obligations to a man's ſilence, vi. 9. [336].
A bold man's effrontery in company of women muſt be owing to his low opinion of them, and his high one of himſelf, vi. 33. [362].
A good woman who vows a duty to a wicked man, knowing him to be ſuch, puts to hazard her eternal happineſs, vi. 45. [375].
How dreadfully ſunk is the woman who ſupplicates for marriage to a man who has robbed her of her ho⯑nour; and who can be thankful to him for doing her ſuch poor juſtice! vi. 45. [375].
How muſt ſuch a one appear before his friends and her own, diveſted of that noble confidence which ariſes from a mind unconſcious of deſerving reproach! vi. 46. [375].
How does ſhe ſubject herſelf to the Violator's up⯑braidings, and to his inſults of generoſity and pity, ex⯑erted in her favour! ibid.
It muſt cut to the heart a thoughtful Mother, whoſe Huſband continues in his profligate courſes, to look round upon her Children, with the reflection that ſhe has given a Father deſtin'd, without a miracle, to perdition, vi. 46. [376].
It would be as unpardonable in a Lady, ſays Lovelace (in the true Libertine ſpirit) to break her word with me, as it would be ſtrange, if I kept mine to her. In Love caſes I mean; for as to reſt, I am an honeſt moral man, vi. 317. [vii. 244].
[93] If a woman is conſcious of having ſhewn weakneſs to a man who has inſulted her modeſty, ſhe may then come to a compoſition with him, and forgive him, vi. 372. [vii. 302].
I never knew a man, ſays Miſs Howe, who deſerved to be thought well of for his morals, who had a ſlight opinion of our Sex in general, vi. 396. [vii. 328].
If a woman conſents to go off with a man, and he prove ever ſo great a villain to her, ſhe muſt take into her own boſom the whole reproach, and a ſhare of his guilty baſeneſs, vi. 397. [vii. 328, 329].
Offences againſt women, and thoſe of the moſt heinous nature, conſtitute and denominate the Man of Gallantry, vii. 19. [358].
The pen, next to the needle, of all employments, whether for improvement or amuſement, is the moſt proper and beſt adapted to the genius of women, vii. 276. [viii. 201, 202].
The woman who neglects the uſeful and the elegant, which diſtinguiſhes her own Sex, for the ſake of obtain⯑ing the learning which is ſuppoſed peculiar to men, in⯑curs more contempt by what ſhe foregoes, than ſhe gains credit by what ſhe acquires, vii. 278. [viii. 203].
The practical knowlege of the domeſtic duties is the principal glory of a woman, vii. 278. [viii. 204].
The woman who aims at more than a knowlege of the beauty and graces of her mother tongue, too often endangers her family uſefulneſs, vii. 279. [viii. 204].
Young Ladies ſhould endeavour to make up for their defects in one part of their education, by their excel⯑lence in another, vii. 282. [viii. 208].
See the articles Courtſhip. Duty. Huſband and Wife. Libertine. Marriage. Parents and Chil⯑dren. Reflections on Women. Vows.
AIR and Manner are often more expreſſive than words, i. 6. [7].
That Addreſs in a man for which he is often moſt valued by a woman, is generally owing to his aſſurance, i. 231. [239].
[94] A conceſſion ſhould be made with a grace, or not at all, iii. 159. [295].
What a mere perſonal advantage is a plauſible Addreſs without morals! iii. 214 [iv. 32].
A ſpecious Addreſs frequently abates even a juſtly-con⯑ceiv'd diſpleaſure, vi. 77. [410].
There is a Manner in ſpeaking that may be liable to exception, when the words without that Manner will bear none, vi. 339. [vii. 267].
ANGER and Diſguſt alter the property, at leaſt the appearance, of things, ii. 4. [98].
People hardly ever do any thing in Anger, of which they do not repent, ii. 33. [125].
A perſon of hard features ſhould not allow himſelf to be very angry, ii. 76. [166].
We ſhould not be angry at a perſon's not doing that for us, which he has a right either to do or to let alone, ii. 158. 214. iv. 120. [ii. 244, 245. 298. iv. 316, 317].
Faulty people ſhould rather be ſorry for the occaſion they have given for anger, than reſent it, iii. 33. [176].
Nothing can be lovely in a man's eye with which he is diſpleaſed, iv. 183. v. 12].
An angry or offended man will not allow to the per⯑ſon with whom he is diſpleaſed, the merit which is his due, iv. 193. [v. 25].
Angry people ſhould never write while their paſſion holds, iv. 362. [v. 200].
Anger unpoliſhes the moſt polite, v. 15. [261].
The Diſpleaſure of friends is to be borne even by an innocent perſon, when it unqueſtionably proceeds from love, v. 276. [vi. 187].
An innocent perſon may be thankful for that Diſ⯑pleaſure in her friend, which gives her an opportunity of juſtifying herſelf, v. 276. [vi. 187].
But then it is ungenerous in a diſpleaſed friend not to acknowlege, and aſk excuſe, for the miſtake which cauſed the Diſpleaſure, the moment he or ſhe is con⯑vinced, v. 276. [vi. 187].
[95] People of little underſtanding are moſt apt to be angry when their ſenſe is called into queſtion, vii. 228. [viii. 152]. [See Paſſion.
THE tender mind, drawn in to purſue an irregular adventure, will be ready to ſtart at every unexpected ap⯑pearance, i. 230. [238].
The moſt apprehenſive beginnings often make the hap⯑pieſt concluſions, ii. 93. [182].
The certainty even of what we fear, is often more tolerable than the ſuſpenſe, ii. 157. [243].
The very event of which we are moſt apprehenſive, is ſometimes that which we ought to wiſh for, ii. 237. [320].
Threateners, when they have an opportunity to put in force their threats, are ſeldom to be feared, ii. 273. [iii. 11].
It is better, in a critical and uncertain ſituation, to apprehend without cauſe, than to ſubject one's ſelf to ſurprize, for want of forethought, ii. 382. [iii. 115].
Evils are often greater in Apprehenſion, than in reality, iv. 11. [203].
An earneſt diſavowal of Fear often proceeds from Fear, iv. 291. [v. 126].
Few men fear thoſe whom they do not value, iv. 398. [v. 126].
COMELINESS, not having ſo much to loſe as Beauty has, will hold when Beauty will evaporate or fly off, i. 7. [7].
Perſonal advantages are oftener ſnares than benefits, i. 186. ii. 353. [i. 194. iii. 88].
Tho' Beauty is generally the creature of fancy, yet are there ſome who will be Beauties in every eye, i. 196. [203].
A good Figure, or Perſon, in man or woman, gives credit at firſt ſight to the choice of either, i. 268. [277].
[96] Men, more-eſpecially, ought to value themſelves ra⯑ther for their intellectual, than perſonal qualifications, i. 268. [278].
The pretty fool, in all ſhe ſays, in all ſhe does, will pleaſe, we know not why, ibid.
Who would grudge the pretty fool her day? ibid.
When her butterfly flutters are over, ſhe will feel, in the general contempt ſhe will meet with, the juſt effects of having neglected to cultivate her better faculties, ibid.
While the diſcreet matron, who from youth has main⯑tained her character, will find ſolid veneration take place of airy admiration, and more than ſupply the want of the latter, i. 268. [278].
A lovely woman, whether angry or pleaſed, will ap⯑pear lovely, iii. 194. [328].
That cruel diſtemper, which often makes the greateſt ravages in the fineſt faces, is not always to be thought an evil, v. 3. [248].
Goodneſs and generoſity give grace and luſtre to beau⯑ty, vi. 21. [350].
SILENCE and Bluſhes are now no graces, ſays Love⯑lrce, with our fine Ladies, iii. 168. [304].
A diſtinction is to be made between the confuſion which guilt will be attended with, and the noble con⯑ſciouſneſs that overſpreads the face of a fine ſpirit, on its being thought capable of an imputed evil, iii. 168. [301].
Harden'd by frequent public appearances, our modern fine Ladies would be as much aſhamed as men, to be found guilty of bluſhing, Lovel. iii. 165. [304].
The woman who at a groſs hint puts her fan before her face, ſeems to be conſcious that her Bluſh is not quite ready, Lovel iv. 309. [145]. [See Modeſty
THE world, ill-natur'd as it is ſaid to be, is generally more juſt in giving characters (ſpeaking by what it feels) than is uſually imagined, i. 114. [119].
[97] Thoſe who complain moſt of the Cenſoriouſneſs of the world, perhaps ought to look inward for the occa⯑ſion oftener than they do, i. 114, 115. [119].
A wrong ſtep taken by a woman who aims to excel, ſubjects her to more ſevere cenſures from the world, whoſe envy ſhe has excited, than that world would caſt on a leſs perfect character, i. 120. [125].
Characters very good, or extremely bad, are ſeldom juſtly given, i. 166. [172].
We ſhould be particularly careful to keep clear of the faults we cenſure, i. 367. [ii. 59].
Haſty Cenſurers ſubject themſelves to the charge of variableneſs in judgment, ii. 70. [160].
We ſhould always make allowances for the characters, whether bad or good, that are given us by intereſted perſons, ii. 125. [213].
Many of thoſe who have eſcaped cenſure, have not merited applauſe. ii. 126. [213].
Good people, ſays Lovelace [or rather thoſe who affect to be thought good] are generally ſo uncharitable, that I ſhould not chuſe to be good, were the conſequence to be, that I muſt think hardly of every-body elſe, iii. 218. iv. 332. [iv. 6, 7. v. 169].
Where reputation is concerned, we ſhould not be in haſte to cenſure, iii. 196. [330].
We ſhould never judge peremptorily on firſt appear⯑ances, ibid.
Every man and woman, ſays Lovelace, is apt to judge of others by what they know of themſelves, iii. 268. [iv. 55].
A man who proves baſe to the confidence a woman places in him, juſtifies the harſheſt cenſures of ſuch of his enemies, as would have perſuaded her to reject him, iv. 294. [v. 129].
Character runs away with, and byaſſes all mankind, v. 7. [253].
In the very Courts of Juſtice, Character acquits and condemns as often as fact, and ſometimes in ſpite of fact, Lovel. ibid.
It is not alway juſt to cenſure according to events, v. 269. [vi. 179].
[98] Difficult ſituations make ſeeming occaſions for Cen⯑ſure unavoidable, vi. 305. [vii. 231].
Cenſoriouſneſs and narrowneſs generally prevail with thoſe who affect to be thought more pious than their neighbours, vi. 365. [vii. 294].
Very few Ladies would be condemned, or even ac⯑cuſed, in the circle of Ladies, were they preſent, vii. 274. [viii. 199].
Human depravity, it is feared, will oftener juſtify thoſe who judge harſhly, than thoſe who judge favour⯑ably; yet will not good people part with their charity, vii. 274. [viii. 200].
Nevertheleſs it is right to make that charity conſiſt with caution and prudence, ibid.
BENEVOLENT ſpirits are ſufficiently happy in the noble conſciouſneſs that attends their Benevolence, i. 2. 283. [3. 293].
'Tis a generous pleaſure in a Landlord, to love to ſee all his tenants look fat, ſleek, and contented, i. 73. [76].
That ſpirit ought not to have the credit of being call⯑ed bountiful, that reſerves not to itſelf the power of being juſt, iii. 49. 303. [192. iv. 89].
In caſes where great good is wiſhed to be done, it is grievous to have the will without having the power, iii. 290. [iv. 76].
True Generoſity is Greatneſs of ſoul: it incites to do more by a fellow-creature than can be ſtrictly required of us, iii. 308. [iv. 94].
Innocent and benevolent ſpirits are ſure to be conſi⯑dered as aliens, and to be made to ſuffer, by the genuine ſons and daughters of earth, v. 279. [vi. 190].
A beneficent perſon diverted from her courſe by ca⯑lamity, will reſume it the moment ſhe can, and go on doing good to all about her, as before, vi. 23. 109. [352. vii. 22].
The power of conferring benefits is a godlike power, vi. 279. [vii. 204].
A truly generous and beneficent perſon will, in a ſud⯑den diſtreſs, find out the unhappy before the ſighing [99] heart is overwhelmed by it, vii. 164. See alſo iii. 308. [viii. 87. See alſo iv. 94].
A prudent perſon will ſuit her Charities to the per⯑ſon's uſual way of life, vii. 184. See alſo iv. 56. [viii. 106. See alſo iv. 247].
Perſons bleſs'd with a will, ſhould be doubly careful to preſerve to themſelves the power, of doing good, vii. 188. [viii. 110].
The honeſt, induſtrious, labouring poor, whom ſick⯑neſs, lameneſs, or unforeſeen accidents have reduced, ought to be the principal objects of our Charity, vii. 188. [viii. 110, 111].
Small helps will ſet forward the ſober and induſtrious poor: An ocean of wealth will not be ſufficient for the idle and profligate, vii. 189. [viii. 111].
It is not Charity to relieve the diſſolute, if what is given to them deprive the worthy poor of ſuch aſſiſtance as would ſet the wheels of their induſtry going, ibid.
That Charity which provides for the morals, as well as for the bodily wants of the poor, gives a double benefit to the public, as it adds to the number of the hopeful what it takes from that of the profligate, vii. 287. [viii. 213].
Can there be in the eyes of that God, who requires nothing ſo much from us as acts of beneficence to one another, a charity more worthy than that of providing for the ſouls as well as bodies of our fellow-creatures? vii. 287. [viii. 213].
See Generoſity.
THE Church is a good place to begin a reconciliation in, if people mean any thing by their prayers, ſays Love⯑lace, i. 196, 197. [205].
Who that has views either worldly or cruel, can go to Church, and expect a bleſſing? ii. 217. [301].
It is a juſter ſatire upon human nature, than upon the Cloth, if we ſuppoſe, that thoſe who have the beſt opportunities of being good, are leſs perfect than others, iv. 249. [v. 81].
[100] Profeſſional as well as national reflexions are to be avoided, iv. 249. [v. 81].
The Church ought to be the only market-place for women, and domeſtic excellence their capital recommen⯑dation, v. 27. [274].
A good Clergyman muſt love and venerate the Goſ⯑pel he teaches, and prefer it to all other learning, vi. 137. [vii. 52].
The young Clergyman, who throws about to a Chri⯑ſtian audience ſcraps of Latin and Greek from the Pa⯑gan Claſſics, ſhews ſomething wrong either in his heart or head, or in both, vi. 137. [vii. 52, 53].
A general contempt of the Clergy, even Lovelace con⯑feſſes, is a certain ſign of a man of free principles, vi. 353. [vii. 282].
See Conſcience. Death. Religion.
LIBERTINES love not any Tragedies, but thoſe in which they themſelves act the parts of tyrants and exe⯑cutioners, iii. 358. [iv. 143].
Libertines (afraid to truſt themſelves with ſerious and ſolemn reflexions) run to Comedies, in order to laugh away compunction, and to find examples of men as immoral as themſelves, ibid.
Very few of our Comic Performances give good ex⯑amples, ibid.
Mr. Lovelace, Mr. Sinclair, Sally Martin, Polly Horton, Miſs Partington, love not Tragedies. They have hearts too feeling. There is enough in the world, ſay they, to make the heart ſad, without carrying grief into our di⯑verſion, and making the diſtreſſes of others our own, iii. 358, 359. [iv. 143].
The woes of others, well repreſented, will unlock and open a tender heart, Lovel. iii. 362. [iv. 146].
The female heart expands, and forgets its forms, when its attention is carried out of itſelf at an agreeable or af⯑fecting Entertainment, Lovel. iii. 362. [iv. 147].
Women, therefore, ſhould be cautious of the company they go with to public Entertainments.
[101] Muſic, and other maidenly amuſements, are too gene⯑rally given up by women, when married, v. 8. [254].
Muſic, ſays Lovelace, is an amuſement that may be neceſſary to keep a young woman out of more active miſchief, v. 9. [154].
Wine is an opiate in degree: How many women, ſays Lovelace, have been taken at advantage by wine and intoxicating viands! v. 65. [314].
Dancing is a diverſion that women love; but they ought to be wary of their company, v. 68. [317].
Women to women, when warm'd by Dancing, Mu⯑ſic, &c. are great darers and provokers, v. 68. [318].
Perſons who ſing and play tolerably, yet plead in⯑ability, wiſh not always to be believed, vii. 282. [viii. 208].
CONDESCENSION that proceeds from force, or even from policy, may be often diſcovered to be forced, by obſerving the eyes and lips, ii. 84. [174].
Condeſcenſion is not meanneſs, iv. 30. [218]. On the contrary, the very word implies dignity, iv. 183. [v. 13].
There is a glory in yielding, of which a violent ſpirit can hardly judge, iv. 30. [218].
By Gentleneſs and Condeſcenſion, a requeſter leaves favourable impreſſions upon an angry perſon, which, on cooler reflection, may bring the benefit denied at the time, iv. 110. [316].
That Condeſcenſion which has neither pride nor in⯑ſult in it, gives a grace to the perſon, as well as to the action which demonſtrates it, iv. 184. [v. 13].
PERSONS of Conſcience will be afraid to begin the world unjuſtly, i. 78. [81].
A woman who by ſurprize, or otherwiſe, is brought to ſwerve, loſes all that noble ſelf-confidence, which otherwiſe would have given her a viſible ſuperiority over [102] her tempter, ii. 392. See alſo ii. 169. [iii. 125. See alſo ii. 255]
How uneaſy are our reflections upon every doubtful occurrence, when we know we have been prevailed upon to do a wrong thing! ii. 399. [iii. 132].
It is a ſatisfaction to a worthy mind, to have borne its teſtimony againſt the vile actions of a bad one, iii. 101. [240].
Self-complaiſancy is neceſſary to carry a woman thro' this life, with tolerable ſatisfaction to herſelf, iv. 23. [211].
The look of every perſon will be conſtrued as a re⯑proach, by one who is conſcious of having capitally erred, vi. 47. See alſo iii. 205. [vi. 377. See alſo iii. 338].
As to the world, and its cenſures, ſays Clariſſa, how⯑ever deſirous I always was of a fair fame, I never thought it right to give more than a ſecond place to the world's opinion, vi. 86, 87. See alſo i. 263. ii. 214. iv. 180. [vi. 419. See alſo i. 273. ii. 298. v. 9.]
A pure intention, void of all undutiful reſentments, is what muſt be my conſolation, ſays Clariſſa, whatever others may think of the meaſures I have taken, when they come to be known, vi. 195. [vii. 114].
THOSE who have not deſerved ill-uſage, have reaſon to be the eaſier under it, ii. 62. [153].
Who would not with patience ſuſtain even a great evil, could ſhe perſuade herſelf, that it might moſt pro⯑bably be diſpenſed in order to prevent a ſtill greater? iii. 134. [271].
How much lighter, on reflection, will the ſame evils ſit on the heart of one who has not brought them upon herſelf, than upon one who has? iii. 134. See alſo ii. 91. 158. [iii. 271. See alſo ii. 180. 244].
There is one common point in which all ſhall meet, err widely as they may, iii. 250. [iv. 37].
Patience and perſeverance overcome the greateſt dif⯑ficulties, iii. 262. [iv. 48].
If a perſon in calamity can conſider herſelf as called [103] upon to give an example of patience and reſignation, ſhe will find her mind greatly invigorated, iii. 277. [iv. 64].
All nature, and every thing in it, has its bright and gloomy ſide. We ſhould not always be thinking of the worſt, iii. 163. vi. 367. [iv. 147. vii. 297].
My mind, ſays Clariſſa to Lovelace and Tomlinſon, is prepared for adverſity. That I have not deſerved the evils I have met with, is my Conſolation, iv. 362. v. 210. 275. 280. 283. [v. 200. vi. 116. 186. 191. 194].
There muſt be a world after this to do juſtice to in⯑jured innocence, and to puniſh barbarous perfidy, v. 45. [293].
We often look back with pleaſure on the heavieſt griefs, when the cauſe of them is removed, v. 55. [304].
No one ought to think the worſe of herſelf for having ſuffered what ſhe could not avoid, v. 89. [340].
Temporary evils may be borne with, becauſe they are but temporary, v. 131. [vi. 33].
None are made to ſuffer beyond what they can bear, and therefore ought to bear, v. 210. [vi. 116].
We know not the methods of Providence, nor what wiſe ends it may have to ſerve, in its ſeemingly ſevere diſpenſations, v. 210. [vi. 116].
A patient and innocent ſufferer will look to a world beyond this for its reward, v. 268. [vi. 178].
Many happy days may perſons greatly unhappy live to ſee, if they will not heighten unavoidable accidents into guilty deſpondency, v. 280. [vi. 191].
We ſhould, in an heavy evil, comfort ourſelves, as we would in the like circumſtances comfort others, v. 281. [vi. 192].
This world is deſigned but for a tranſitory ſtate of probation. A good perſon, conſidering herſelf as tra⯑velling thro' it to a better, will put up with all the hard⯑ſhips of the journey, in hopes of an ample reward at the end of it, v. 344. [vi. 260].
Had I, ſays Clariſſa (drawing near her end) eſcaped the evils I labour under, I might have been taken in the midſt of ſome gay promiſing hope; when my heart had [104] beat high with deſire of life; and when the vanity of this earth had taken hold of me, vi. 48. [377].
What happineſs, on reflexion, does that perſon en⯑joy, who has not acted unworthy of herſelf in the time of tryal and temptation! vi. 127, 128. [vii. 41, 42].
All the troubles of this world, as well as its joys, are but of ſhort duration, vi. 191. [vii. 111].
Things the moſt grievous to human nature at the time, often in the event prove the happieſt for us, vi. 203. See alſo vi. 116. [vii. 123. See alſo vii. 30].
We remember thoſe we have long loſt, with more pleaſure than pain, vi. 258. [vii. 181].
Solemn impreſſions that ſeem to weaken the mind, may, by proper reflexion, be made to ſtrengthen it, vi. 278. [vii. 202].
Where there is a reliance made on Providence, it ſeldom fails to raiſe up a new friend for every old one that falls off, vi. 279. [vii. 204].
There is often a neceſſity for a conſiderate perſon's be⯑ing unhappy, in order to be happy, vi. 287. [vii. 212].
Good motions wrought into habit, will yield pleaſure at a time when nothing elſe can, vi. 314. [vii. 240].
Perſons enured to afflictions, and who have lived in conſtant hope of a better life, and have no flagrant vices to reproach themſelves with, are the fitteſt comforters of friends in diſtreſs, vii. 161. [viii. 82].
When a man has not great good to comfort himſelf with, it is right, ſays Lovelace, to make the beſt of the little that may offer, vii. 219. [viii. 143].
There never was any diſcomfort happen'd to mortal man, but ſome little ray of Conſolation would dart in, if the wretch was not ſo much a wretch, as to draw, in⯑ſtead of undraw the curtain, to keep it out, vii. 219. [viii. 143].
See Adverſity. Conſcience. Death. Grief. Hu⯑man Life. Religion.
NO extraordinary qualifications are to be expected from a man, who never, as a child, was ſubject to Con⯑troul, i. 65. [67].
[105] Young Ladies on whom parental Controul is known to ſit heavily, give a man of intrigue room to think, that they want to be parents themſelves, Lovel. ii. 321. [iii. 58].
A generous mind will then only be jealous of Controul, when it imagines its laudable friendſhips, or its generoſi⯑ty, are likely to be wounded by it, iii. 212. [344].
A man, by ſeeming afraid of Controul, often ſubjects himſelf to it, v. 179. [vi. 84].
People awed and controuled, tho' but by their own conſciouſneſs of inferiority, will find fault, right or wrong, with thoſe of whoſe rectitude of mind and manners their own culpable hearts give them to be afraid, vii. 272. [viii. 197].
See Duty. Parents and Children.
A COVETOUS man acts as if he thought the world made for himſelf only, i. 7. [80].
Covetous people may bear with every one's ill word, ſince they are ſo ſolicitous to keep what they prefer to every one's good word, i. 88. [91].
The difference between obtaining a fame for genero⯑ſity, and incurring the cenſure of being a miſer, will not, prudently managed, coſt fifty pounds a year, i. 114. [119].
A miſer's heir may, at a ſmall expence, obtain the reputation of generoſity, ibid.
When was an ambitious or covetous mind ſatisfied with acquiſition? i. 122. [127].
A prodigal man generally does more injuſtice than a covetous one, i. 209. [217].
What man or woman, who is covetous of wealth or of power, deſires either for the ſake of making a right uſe of it? iv. 362. [v. 201].
Time is the only thing of which we can be allowably covetous, ſince we live but once in this world, and when gone, are gone from it for ever, vii. 295. [viii. 221].
See Self.
REVERENCE to a woman in Courtſhip is the leſs to be diſpenſed with, as, generally, there is but little of it ſhewn afterwards, i. 8. [8].
A very ready conſent often ſubjects a woman to con⯑tempt, i. 11. [11].
If a man cannot make a woman in Courtſhip own her⯑ſelf pleaſed with him, it is as much, and oftentimes more, to his purpoſe, to make her angry with him, Lovel. i. 18. [19].
That diſguſt muſt be ſincere, which is conceived on a firſt viſit, and confirmed in every after one, i. 97. [102].
A woman who ſhews a very great diſlike to a Lover, whom afterward ſhe is induced to marry, had need to have a double ſhare of prudence to behave unexception⯑ably to her huſband, i. 199. 261. 373. [i. 207. 270, 271. ii. 65].
He who perſeveres in his addreſſes to a woman whoſe averſion or diſlike to him he has no reaſon to doubt, wants the ſpirit that diſtinguiſhes a man, i. 208. [216].
Very few people in Courtſhip ſee each other as they are, i. 381. [ii. 73].
Our Courtſhip days are our beſt days: Favour de⯑ſtroys Courtſhip, diſtance encreaſes it, Miſs Howe, ii. 37. [130].
A woman in Courtſhip has reaſon to reſent thoſe paſ⯑ſions in her Lover, which are predominant to that he pretends to have for her, ii. 49. [141].
One of the greateſt indignities that can be caſt on a woman in Courtſhip, is, for a man to be ſo profligate as to engage himſelf in lewd purſuits, at the time he pretends his whole heart to be hers, ii. 71. [161].
A woman accuſtomed to be treated with obſequiouſ⯑neſs, will expect obſequiouſneſs to the end of the Court⯑ſhip chapter, ſays Miſs Howe, iii. 27. [171].
The man who expreſſes high reſpect to a woman, is entitled, if not to acceptance, to civility, iii. 387. See alſo i. 248. [iv. 171. See alſo i. 257].
A wiſe man will not diſcourage that diſcretion in a miſtreſs, which will be his glory and ſecurity in a wife, iv. 31. [219].
[107] The woman who in Courtſhip treats haughtily or ill the man ſhe intends to have, gives room for the world to think, either, That ſhe has a mean opinion of him, a high one of herſelf, vi. 305- [vii. 231.]—
Or, That ſhe has not generoſity enough to uſe mo⯑derately the power which his great affection gives her, vi. 305.— [vii. 231, 232].—
Such a woman gives reaſon to free livers to ſuppoſe (and to preſume upon it) that the man to whom ſhe in⯑tends to give her hand has no ſhare in her heart, vi, 305. [vii. 232].
And if ſhe ſhew that regard to him after marriage, of which ſhe ſhewed none before, it will be conſtrued as a compliment to the Huſband, made at the expence of the Wife's, and even of the Sex's delicacy, vi. 306. [vii. 232].
Such a one will teach the world, by her example, to deſpiſe the man, whom, when her Huſband, ſhe would wiſh it to reſpect, ibid.
To condeſcend with dignity, to command with kind⯑neſs, and ſweetneſs of manners, are points to be aimed at by a wiſe woman in Courtſhip, vi. 307. [vii. 233].
She ſhould let her Lover ſee, that ſhe has generoſity to approve of and reward a well-meant ſervice:
That ſhe has a mind that lifts her above the little cap⯑tious follies which ſome attribute to the ſex:
That ſhe reſents not (if ever ſhe has reaſon to be diſ⯑pleaſed) with pride, or thro' petulance:
That by inſiſting on little points, ſhe aims not to come at, or to ſecure, great ones, perhaps not proper to be carried:
Nor leaves room to ſuppoſe that ſhe thinks ſhe has ſo much cauſe to doubt her own merit, as to make it need⯑ful to put her Lover upon diſagreeable or arrogant trials:
But lets reaſon be the principal guide of her actions:
And then ſhe will hardly ever fail of that reſpect which will make her judgment after marriage conſulted, ſome⯑times with a preference to a man's own; at other times as a delightful confirmation of his, vi. 307. [vii. 233, 234].
[108] When judgment is at a loſs to determine the choice of a Lady who has ſeveral Lovers, fancy may the more allowably predominate, vi. 313. [vii. 240].
Women cannot put the queſtion to a Lover, Whether he mean honourably or not, in his addreſs, without af⯑fronting their own virtue and perſonal graces, vi. 335. [vii. 263].
They ſhould therefore never admit of the addreſs of a Libertine.
The woman who in Courtſhip uſes ill the man ſhe in⯑tends to have, reflects not on the obligations her pride is laying her under to him for his patience with her, vi. 406. [vii. 339].
See Advice to Women. Huſband and Wife. Liber⯑tine. Love. Marriage. Parents and Children. Reflections on Women. Vows.
WOMEN are ſometimes drawn in to believe againſt probability, by the unwillingneſs they have to doubt their own merit, ii. 51. [142].
Superſtitious notions propagated in infancy, are hard⯑ly ever totally eradicated, not even in minds grown ſtrong enough to deſpiſe the like credulous folly in others, ii. 198. [283].
Credulity is the God of Love's prime miniſter, and they are never aſunder, ii. 385. [iii. 119].
Credulity permits us not, till we ſuffer by it, to ſee the defects of thoſe of whom we think highly, iii. 243. [iv. 30].
We are all very ready to believe what we like, iv. 118. [314].
See Courtſhip. Love. Lover.
THAT Cruelty which children are permitted to ſhew to birds, and other animals, will moſt probably exert itſelf on their fellow-creatures, when at years of matu⯑rity, iii. 226. [iv. 14].
Let the parents of ſuch a child expect a Lovelace, iv. 144. v. 300. [iv. 342. vi. 212].
[109] When we reflect upon the Cruelties daily practiſed up⯑on ſuch of the animal creation as are given us for food, or which we enſnare for our diverſion, we ſhall be oblig⯑ed to own, ſays even Lovelace, that there is more of the ſavage in human nature, than we are aware of, iii. 228, 229, 230. [iv. 16, 17, 18].
Infinite beauties are there to be found in a weeping eye, Lovel. iii. 235. [iv. 23].
Hard-heartedneſs is an eſſential in the character of a Libertine, iii. 324. iv. 121. [iv. 109. 317].
No heart burſts, ſays the ſavage Lovelace, be the occa⯑ſion for ſorrow what it will, which has the kindly relief of tears, iv. 254. [v. 67].
See Libertine. Tears.
MELANCHOLY objects and ſubjects will at times im⯑preſs the moſt profligate ſpirits. [They ſhould not there⯑fore be run away from.] iv. 152. [350].
What is Death, but a ceſſation from mortal life? vi. 47. [377].
It is but the finiſhing of an appointed courſe, ibid.
The refreſhing Inn, after a fatiguing journey, ibid.
The end of a life of cares and troubles, ibid.
Thoſe men who give themſelves airs of bravery on reflecting upon the laſt ſcenes of others, may be ex⯑pected, if ſenſible at the time, to behave the moſt piti⯑fully in their own, vi. 237. [vii. 159].
What a dreadful thing is Death, to a perſon who has not one comfortable reflexion to revolve! vi. 240. [vii. 162].
What would I give, ſays the departing Belton, to have but one year of life before me, and to have the ſame ſenſe of things I now have! ibid.
See alſo the dying Belton's pleas to his Phyſician, and treatment of him, and of his own Siſter, becauſe they could give him no hope, vi. 264 to 267. [vii. 187-190].
The ſeeds of Death are ſown in us when we begin to [110] live, and grow up till, like rampant weeds, they choak the tender flower of life, vi. 266. [vii. 189].
In beholding the Death of a friend, we are affected as well by what muſt one day be our own caſe, as by his agonies, vi. 267. [vii. 191].
To be cut off by the ſword of injured friendſhip is the moſt dreadful of all Deaths, next to Suicide, vi. 269. [vii. 193].
Reſignation in Death, and reliance on the Divine mercies, give great comfort to the friends of the dying, vi. 270. vii. 146, 147. [vii. 194. viii. 66, 67].
A good conſcience only can ſupport a perſon in a ſen⯑ſible and gradual Death, vi. 383. vii. 22. [vii. 314. 360].
It is a choice comfort at the winding up of our ſhort ſtory, ſays Clariſſa, to be able to ſay, ‘"I have rather ſuffered injuries, than offered them,"’ vii. 60. [401].
Nothing that is of conſequence ſhould be left to be done in the laſt incapacitating hours of life? vii. 72. 78. [414. 420].
See Clariſſa's noble behaviour in the agonies of Death, vii. 85 to 90. [viii. 3-8].
All ſentiments of worldly grandeur vaniſh at that un⯑avoidable moment which decides the deſtiny of men, vii. 97. [viii. 15].
What, in the laſt ſolemn moments, muſt be the re⯑flexion of thoſe (if capable of reflection) whoſe ſtudy and pride it has been to ſeduce the innocent, and to ruin the weak, the unguarded, and the friendleſs; perhaps, too, by themſelves made friendleſs? vii. 97. [viii. 15].
See the ſhocking and outragious behaviour of Sinclair at her Death, vii. 129. [viii. 49, & ſeq.]
See alſo the violent Death of Lovelace, vii. 319, & ſeq. [viii. 246, & ſeq.]
What are twenty or thirty years to look back upon? vii. 112. [viii. 31].
In a long life, what friends may we not have to mourn for? ibid.
What temptations may we not have to encounter with? ibid.
In the loſs of a dear friend, it is an high ſatisfaction [111] to be able to reflect, that we have no acts of unkindneſs to reproach ourſelves with, vii. 118. [viii. 38].
Time only can combat with advantage very heavy de⯑privations, vii. 163. [viii. 84].
Nature will be given way to, till ſorrow has in a man⯑ner exhauſted itſelf; then reaſon and religion will come in ſeaſonably, with their powerful aids, to raiſe the drooping heart, ibid.
See Conſolation. Grief. Religion.
MUCH diſagreeable evil will ariſe to a woman of the leaſt Delicacy, from a Huſband who is given to wine, i. 260. [269].
What young woman of Delicacy would be thought to have inclinations ſo violent, that ſhe could not conquer them? or a will ſo ſtubborn, that ſhe would not, at the entreaty and advice of her friends, attempt the conqueſt? i. 348. [ii. 75].
Punctilio is out of doors the moment a Daughter clan⯑deſtinely quits her Father's houſe, ii. 203. [288].
How inexcuſeable are thoſe giddy creatures, who in the ſame hour leap from a Parent's window to a Huſ⯑band's bed! ibid.
Numberleſs are the reaſons that might be given why a woman of the leaſt Delicacy ſhould never think of going off with a man, ii. 279. [iii. 18].
A woman who goes off with a man has no room ei⯑ther to practiſe Delicacy herſelf, or to expect it from the man, iii. 294. 298. 301. [iv. 80. 84. 87].
A conſent, in ſome nice Love-caſes, were better taken for granted, than aſked for, iii. 308. [iv. 93].
Few, very few men are there, who have Delicacy enough to enter into thoſe parts of the female character which are its glory and diſtinction, iii. 309. [iv. 95].
Over-niceneſs may be under-niceneſs, iv. 180. [v. 9].
Men need not give indelicate hints to women on ſub⯑jects that relate to themſelves, Lovel. iv. 279. [v. 112].
A man who is groſs in a woman's company, adds he, ought to be knock'd down with a club, ibid.
Delicate women, make delicate women, and alſo de⯑tent men, v. 11. [256].
[112] There are points ſo delicate, that it is a degree of diſhonour to have a vindication of one's ſelf from them thought neceſſary, v. 230. [vi. 137].
The free things that among us Rakes, ſays Belford, paſs for wit and ſpirit, muſt be ſhocking ſtuff to the ears of perſons of Delicacy, v. 377. [vi. 295, 296].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Duty. Liber⯑tine. Love. Marriage. Men and Women, &c.
IF we deſpond, there can be no hope of cure, iii. 125. vi. 65. [iii. 263. vi. 396].
To deſpond is to add ſin to ſin, iv. 10. [197].
When a profligate man, on being overtaken by a dangerous ſickneſs, or inevitable calamity, deſponds, what conſolation can be given him either from his paſt life, or his future proſpects? vi. 50. [389].
This is the cauſe of my deſpair, ſays Belton, that God's juſtice cannot let his mercy operate for my comfort! vi. 240. [vii. 163].
See Conſolation.
To condemn a Deviation, and to follow it by as great a one, what is it but to propagate a general cor⯑ruption? ii. 75. [165].
The Deviation of a perſon of eminence is more in⯑excuſable than that of a common perſon, iii. 50. [193].
In unhappy ſituations it will be difficult, even for worthy perſons, to avoid ſometimes departing from the ſimple truth, iii. 64. [206].
How neceſſary is it then for ſuch perſons to be careful that they do not, by their own inconſideration, in⯑volve themſelves in difficulties!
Worthy perſons, if inadvertently drawn into a Devia⯑tion, will endeavour inſtantly to recover their loſt ground, that they may not bring error into habit, iii. 64. [206].
A criminal Deviation in one friend, is likely to caſt a ſhade upon the other, iii. 118. [256].
To the pure every little Deviation, ſays Lovelace, ſeems offenſive, iii. 216. [iv. 4].
[113] One devious ſtep at firſt ſetting out, frequently leads a perſon into a wilderneſs of doubt and error, iii. 250. 289. [iv. 37. 75].
When we are betrayed into a capital Deviation, leſſer Deviations will hardly be avoidable, iv. 224. [v. 55].
She who is too ready to excuſe a wilful Deviation in another, renders her own virtue ſuſpectable, Jam. Harl. vii. 5. [343, 344].
See Guilt. Human Nature.
UPON true Quality and hereditary Diſtinction, if ſenſe be not wanting, honours and affluence ſit eaſy, i. 260. [270].
If we aſſume a Dignity, and diſgrace not by arro⯑gance our aſſumption, every-body will treat us with re⯑ſpect and deference, i. 320. [ii. 11].
Hereditary Dignity conveys more diſgrace than ho⯑nour to deſcendants who have not merit to adorn it, ii. 136. [223].
Gentleman is a title of diſtinction which a prince may not deſerve, ii. 397. [iii. 130].
The firſt Dignity ought to be accompanied with the firſt merit, iii. 232. [iv. 19].
Grandeur, ſays Lovelace, always makes a man's face ſhine in a woman's eye, v. 85. [336].
People who are fenced in, either by their Years or Quality, ſhould not, ſays Lovelace, take freedoms that a man of ſpirit ought to reſent from others, v. 302. [vi. 214].
True Dignity admits not of pride or arrogance, v. 382. [vi. 301].
Some men have a native Dignity in their manner, which will procure them more regard by a look, than others can obtain by the moſt imperious commands, vi. 260. [vii. 183].
The man who is good by choice, as well as by educa⯑tion, has that Quality in himſelf [that true Dignity], which ennobles human nature, and without which the moſt dignified by birth or rank are ignoble, vi. 314. [vii. 240].
[114] Women who will not aſſume ſome little Dignity, and exact reſpect from men, will render themſelves cheap, and perhaps have their modeſty and diffidence repaid with ſcorn and inſult, Miſs Howe, vii. 253. [viii. 177].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Delicacy. Li⯑bertine, &c.
IT is an odious thing in a man to look ſly and leer⯑ing at a woman, whoſe modeſty is invaded by another by indecent hints or Double Entendre, iii. 165. [301].
What a groſſneſs is there in the mind of that man, who thinks to reach a Lady's heart by wounding her ears! iii. 186. [320].
Well-bred men, who think themſelves in virtuous com⯑pany, will not allow in themſelves ſuch liberties of ſpeech, as tho' not free enough for open cenſure, are capable of conveying impure images to the heart, iii. 198. [332].
Men who go out of their way to hint free things, muſt either be guilty of abſurdity, meaning nothing; or meaning ſomething, of rudeneſs, ibid.
Obſcenity is ſo ſhameful even to the guilty, that they cannot hint at it, but under a double meaning, iv. 148. [346].
Even Lovelace declares, that he never did, nor ever will, talk to a Lady in a way that modeſty will not permit her to anſwer him in, vii. 222. [viii. 145].
See Delicacy.
THE genius of a man who is fond of his Perſon, or Dreſs, ſeldom ſtrikes deep into intellectual ſubjects, i. 269. [278].
A man vain of his perſon, endeavouring to adorn it, frequently renders himſelf ridiculous, ibid.
Women owe to themſelves, and to their Sex, to be always neat, and never to be ſurpriſed, by accidental viſitors, in ſuch a diſhabille as would pain them to be ſeen in, ii. 158. [149].
[115] All that hoops are good for, ſays Miſs Howe, is, to clean dirty ſhoes, and to keep fellows at diſtance, ii. 78. [168].
The mind is often indicated by outward Dreſs, iii. 199. [332].
Homely perſons, the more they endeavour to adorn themſelves, the more they expoſe the defects they want to hide, iii. 240. [iv. 27].
If women, ſays Lovelace, would made themſelves ap⯑pear as elegant to an Huſband, as they were deſirous to appear to him while a Lover, the Rake, which all women love, would laſt longer in the Husband than it generally does, iii. 341. [iv. 126].
A woman who would preſerve a Lover's reſpect to her perſon, will be careful of her appearance before him when in diſhabille, iii. 361. [iv. 126].
Full Dreſs creates dignity, augments conſciouſneſs, and keeps at diſtance an encroacher, iii. 361. [iv. 145].
An elegant woman, in her earlieſt hour, will, for her own pleaſure, be as nice as others in full dreſs, iii. 361. [iv. 126].
Elegant Dreſs contributes greatly to keep paſſion alive, v. 26. [273].
Dreſs gives great advantage to women who have na⯑turally a genteel air, and have been well educated, v. 30. [277].
Perſons who thro' misfortunes chuſe not to dreſs, ſhould not, however, give up neatneſs, v. 282. [vi. 193, 194].
A Fop takes great pains to hang out a ſign, by his Dreſs, of what he has in his ſhop, vi. 33. [362, 363].
A clumſy Beau ſeems to owe himſelf a double ſpite, making his ungracefulneſs appear the more ungraceful by his tawdrineſs in Dreſs, Lovel. vi. 34. [363].
Singularity in Dreſs ſhews ſomething wrong in the mind, ibid.
Plain Dreſs, for an ordinary man or woman, implies at leaſt modeſty, and procures kind quarter even from the cenſorious, vi. 34. vii. 266. [vi. 363. viii. 191].
The Faſhion or Dreſs that becomes one perſon, fre⯑quently miſbecomes another, vi. 177. [vii. 95].
[116] Nature and Eaſe ſhould be the guides in Dreſs or Fa⯑ſhion, vi. 177. [vii. 95].
See Advice to Women. Delicacy. Dignity.
A MAN of honour cannot go to law for verbal abuſes given by people entitled to wear ſwords, L. i. 159. [165].
Duelling is ſo faſhionable a part of brutal bravery, that a good man is often at a loſs ſo to behave, as to avoid incurring either mortal guilt, or general contempt, i. 368. [ii. 60].
Thoſe who throw contempt on a good man, for chuſing rather to paſs by a verbal injury than imbrue his hands in blood, know not the meaſure of true magnanimity, ibid.
'Tis much more noble to forgive, and much more manly to deſpiſe, than to reſent an injury, ibid.
A man of ſpirit ſhould too much diſdain the man, who is capable of doing him wilfully a mean wrong, to put his life upon equal value with his own, ibid.
What an abſurdity is it in a man, to put it in the power of one, who has done him a ſmall injury, to do him (as it may happen) and thoſe who love him, an ir⯑reparable one! ibid.
What a flagrant partiality is it in thoſe men, who can themſelves be guilty of crimes which they juſtly hold un⯑pardonable in their neareſt female relations! vi. 404.— [vii. 336-].
Yet cannot commit them without doing ſuch injuries to other families, as they think themſelves obliged to re⯑ſent unto death, when offered to their own! ibid.
An innocent man ought not to run an equal riſk with a guilty one, vii. 107. 234. [viii. 26. 157].
He who will arrogate to himſelf the province of the Almighty, who has declared, that vengeance is His, ought to tremble at what may be the conſequence, vii. 107. 233. [viii. 26. 157].
May it not, in caſe of the offended perſon's giving the challenge, be ſuitable to the Divine juſtice to puniſh the preſumptuous innocent by the hand of the ſelf defending guilty, reſerving him for a future day of vengeance? vii. 107. 235. [viii. 26. 158, 159].
[117] Life is a ſhort ſtage when longeſt: If Heaven will afford a wicked man time for repentance, who ſhall dare to deny it him? vii. 107. 234. [viii. 26. 158].
The conſcience of the offender, when it ſhall pleaſe God to ſtrike it, ſhall be ſharper than an avenger's ſword, vii. 108. [viii. 26].
Duelling is not only an uſurpation of the Divine pre⯑rogative, but it is an inſult upon magiſtracy and good government, vii. 234. [viii. 157].
'Tis an impious act; 'tis an attempt to take away a life that ought not to depend upon a private ſword, ibid.
An act, the conſequence of which is to hurry a ſoul (all its ſins upon its head) into perdition, endangering alſo that of the poor triumpher; ſince neither intend to give to the other that opportunity for repentance which each preſumes to hope for himſelf, vii. 234. [viii. 157, 158].
Where ſhall the evil of Duelling ſtop? Who ſhall avenge on the avenger? vii. 234. [viii. 158].
Who would not wiſh, that the aggreſſor ſhould be ſtill the guilty aggreſſor? ibid.
Often has the more guilty been the vanquiſher of the leſs guilty, ibid.
See Guilt. Libertine.
A GOOD child will not ſeek to exculpate herſelf at the expence of the moſt revered characters, i. 26. [27].
If we ſuffer by an act of Duty, or even of generoſity we have this comfort on reflexion, that the fault is in others, not in ourſelves, i. 121. [125].
Altho' our parents or friends ſhould not do every⯑thing for us that we may wiſh or expect, it becomes us nevertheleſs to be thankful to them for the benefits they have actually conferred on us, i. 126. [131].
A good child, upon ill terms with her parents, tho' hopeleſs of ſucceſs, ſhould leave no means unattempted to reconcile herſelf to them, were it but to acquit her⯑ſelf to herſelf, i. 157. [163].
[118] A ſufferer may not be able to forbear complaining of the ill treatment ſhe meets with from her parents; but it may go againſt her to have even the perſon to whom ſhe complains take the ſame liberties with them, i. 173. [180].
The want of reward is no warrant for us to diſpenſe with our Duty, ibid.
The merit of Obedience conſiſts in giving up an in⯑clination, i. 200. [210].
In reciprocal Duties, the failure on one ſide juſtifies not a failure on the other, i. 231. 234. 366. vi. 316. [i. 240. 243. ii. 57, 58. vii. 243].
Prudence and Duty will enable a perſon to overcome the greateſt difficulties, i. 253. [265].
Where is the praiſe-worthineſs of Obedience, if it be only paid in inſtances where we give up nothing? i. 371. [ii. 63].
If a paſſion can be conquered, it is a ſacrifice a good child owes to indulgent parents; eſpecially if they would be unhappy if ſhe made not ſuch a ſacrifice, i. 405. See alſo i. 253. [ii. 95. See alſo i. 265].
No independency of fortune can free a child from her filial Duty, ii. 174. [234].
Nor ought any change of circumſtances to alter her notions of Duty, iii. 3. [147].
A Duty exacted with too much rigour, is often at⯑tended with fatal conſequences, iii. 50. [192].
The Duty of a child to her parents may be ſaid to be anterior to her very birth, iii. 54. [197].
What is the preciſe ſtature or age at which a good child may conclude herſelf abſolved from her filial Du⯑ty? iii. 56. [198].
A good perſon cannot look with indifference on any part of a vow'd Duty, iii. 115. [254].
A worthy perſon will make it her prayer, as well as her endeavour, that whatever trials ſhe may be called upon to undergo, ſhe may not behave unworthily in them, and may come out amended by them, iii. 118. [256].
A daughter who chearfully gives up an inclination to [119] the judgment of her parents, may be ſaid to have laid them under obligation to her, iii. 247. [iv. 34].
Can a fugitive Daughter enjoy herſelf, while her Pa⯑rents are in tears? iv. 58. [249].
Other people's not performing their Duty, is no ex⯑cuſe for the neglect of ours, ſays even Lovelace, v. 291. [vi. 203].
The world is too apt to ſet itſelf in oppoſition to a general Duty, vi. 134. [vii. 49].
General Duties ought not to be weakened by our en⯑deavouring to juſtify a ſingle perſon, if faulty, however unhappily circumſtanced, ibid.
There is no merit in performing a Duty, vi. 180. [vii. 98].
A dutiful Daughter gives an earneſt of making a du⯑tiful and obliging Wife, vi. 255. [vii. 178].
Duty upon principle will oblige to an uniformity of Duty in every relation of life, ibid.
Rigour makes it difficult for ſliding virtue to recover itſelf, vii. 5. [viii. 343].
See Parents and Children.
ENCOURAGEMENT and approbation bring to light ta⯑lents that otherwiſe would never have appeared, ii. 19. [113].
There is a docible ſeaſon, a learning-time, in youth, which, ſuffered to elapſe, and no foundation laid, ſeldom returns, iii. 364. [iv. 149].
Some genius's, like ſome fruits, ripen not till late, ibid.
Induſtry and perſeverance in ſtudy will do prodigious things, ibid.
What an uphill labour muſt it be to a learner, who has thoſe firſt rudiments to maſter at twenty years of age, which others are taught at ten! ibid.
Parents ought to cultivate the minds of their Daugh⯑ters, and inſpire them with early notions of reſerve and diſtance to men, Lovel. iv. 117. [313].
It is not enough that a youth be put upon doing acts of beneficence; he muſt be taught to do them from pro⯑per motives, iv. 121. [318].
[120] A pious end, and a crown of glory, are generally the natural fruits of a virtuous Education, vii. 104. [viii. 22].
The perſon who aims at acquiring too many things, will hardly excel in any, vii. 283. [viii. 209].
Improvement muſt attend upon thoſe who are more ready to hear than to ſpeak, vii. 289. [viii. 215].
See Advice to Women. Duty. Parents and Chil⯑dren.
PERSONS diſtinguiſhed by their rank, or their virtues, are anſwerable to the public for their conduct in mate⯑rial points, i. 4. [4].
Perſons of prudence, and diſtinguiſh'd talents, ſeem to be ſprinkled thro' the world, to do credit by their ex⯑ample to religion and virtue, i. 257. [266].
No one ſhould plead the errors of another, in juſtifi⯑cation of his own, i. 391. ii. 253. [ii. 82. 336].
Perſons who are fond of being thought of as examples, ſhould look into themſelves, watch, and fear, iv. 9. [196].
Dearly do I love, ſays Lovelace (ſpeaking of Miſs Raw⯑lins) to engage with the Precept-givers and Example⯑ſetters, v. 68. [317].
The Example at church of perſons conſpicuous for virtue, rank, and ſenſe, gives a high credit to religion, vi. 311. [vii. 237].
See Religion. Virtue.
THERE is more joy in expectation and preparation, than in fruition, be the purſuit what it will, i. 226. [234].
Mankind cheat themſelves by their raiſed Expecta⯑tions of pleaſure in proſpect, i. 387. [ii. 78].
Very ſeldom is it that high Expectations are ſo much as tolerably anſwered, iii. 243. [iv. 30].
The joys of Expectation are the higheſt of all our joys, v. 25. [272].
A WEEPING Eye indicates a gentle heart, iii. 362. [iv. 146].
Sparkling Eyes, ſays Lovelace, when the poetical tribe have ſaid what they will of them, are an infallible ſign of a rogue, or room for a rogue, in the heart, iii. 388. [iv. 174].
The Eye is the caſement at which the heart generally looks out, Lovel. vi. 16. [344].
Many a woman who will not ſhew herſelf at the door, has tipt the ſly, the intelligible wink from the window, Lovel. ibid.
See Tears.
A MAN who gives the world cauſe to have an ill opi⯑nion of him, ought to take the conſequence of his own Faults, i. 20. [21].
Who ever was in Fault, Self being judge? i. 68. [70].
What a hero or heroine muſt that perſon be, who can conquer a conſtitutional Fault! i. 168. 314. See alſo i. 115. [i. 174. ii. 5. See alſo i. 120].
It is not enough for a perſon convicted of a Fault, to own it, if he amend it not, i. 186. [195]
An enemy wiſhes not a man to be without the Faults he upbraids him with, i. 265. [275].
A woman who gives better advice than ſhe takes, doubles the weight of her own Faults, i. 393. [ii. 84].
Faults which ariſe from generous attachments, are not eaſily detected, iii. 53. [195].
No man has a right to be diſpleaſed at freedoms taken with him for Faults which he is not aſhamed to confeſs, iii. 239. [iv. 26].
It ought to be our care, that whatever Errors we fall into, they ſhould be thoſe of our judgment, and not of our will, iii. 312. [iv. 97].
[122] Great Faults, and great Virtues, are often found in the ſame perſons, iv. 132. [330].
Repetition of Faults revives the remembrance of Faults forgiven, iv. 158. [357].
When we are drawn into an Error, we ſhould take care to make as few people as poſſible ſuffer by the con⯑ſequence of it, iv. 221. [v. 52].
One Crime is generally the parent of another, v. 90. [341].
It is kind to endeavour to extenuate the Fault of one who is more ready to reproach than to excuſe herſelf, v. 221. [vi. 128].
People are apt to make allowances for ſuch Faults in others, as they will not mend in themſelves, vii. 122. [viii. 41, 42].
Wicked men will often abuſe people for the conſe⯑quence of their own Faults, v 354. [vi. 271].
Worthy minds ſhould not be more ready to fly from the Rebuke than from the Fault, vi. 87. [420].
We may be mortified by a calamity brought upon our⯑ſelves; but this, too often, rather for the calamity's than the Fault's ſake, vi. 188. [vii. 107].
Perſons who will not be at the pains of correcting conſtitutional Faults or Failings, frequently ſeek to gloſs them over by ſome nominal virtues, vii. 253. [viii. 177].
See Guilt.
FAVOURS are aſk'd by ſome with an air that calls for rejection, i. 54. [56].
To exalt the perſon we favour above his merit, is but to depreciate him, i. 390. See alſo i. 208. [ii. 81. See alſo i. 215].
A worthy mind will not aſk a Favour, till it has con⯑ſidered whether it is fit to be granted, ii. 103. [192].
In our expectations of Favours, we ſhould diveſt our⯑ſelves of ſelf, ſo far as to leave to others the option they have a right to make, ii. 210, 211. vi. 89. [ii. 294, 295. vi. 422].
Awe, reverence, and apprehended prohibition, make a Favour precious, Lovel. ii 316. [iii. 53].
[123] To requeſt a Favour, is one thing; to challenge it as our due, is another, iv. 119. [316].
A petitioner has no right to be angry at a repulſe, if he has not a right to demand what he ſues for as a debt, iv. 120. [316, 317].
The grace with which a Favour is conferred, may be as acceptable as the Favour itſelf, vii. 273. [viii. 198].
IF we have power to oblige, our Flatterers will tell us any thing ſooner than what they know we diſlike to hear, i. 29. [31].
Complimental flouriſhes are the poiſon of female minds, i. 212. [220].
Hyperbolic Compliments are elevated abſurdities, ii. 87. [176].
A man who flatters a woman hopes either to find her a fool, or to make her one, ibid.
It is not always wrong to take the man at his word, who, pretending to depreciate himſelf, lays out for a compliment, ii. 332. iii. 215. [iii. 68. iv. 3].
Undue compliments ought to be looked upon as af⯑fronts to the underſtanding of the perſon to whom they are addreſſed, iii. 200. [334].
Women, by encouraging Flatterers, teach men to be hypocrites; yet, at other times, ſtigmatize them for de⯑ceivers, Lovel. iii. 216. [iv. 4].
Great men do evil, and leave it to their Flatterers to find a reaſon for it afterwards, vi. 92. [vii. 5].
Officious perſons are always at hand to flatter, or ſooth, the paſſions of the affluent, vi. 368. [vii. 298].
Many perſons endeavouring to avoid the imputation of Flattery, or Hypocriſy, run into ruſticity, or ill⯑manners, vii. 253. [viii. 177].
See Advice to Women.
THE woman muſt expect to bear ſlights from the husband, of whom ſhe was too viſibly fond as a lover, i. 30. [31].
[124] Fondneſs ſpoils more wives than it makes grateful ones, Solmes, i. 270. [280].
The fond mother ever makes a harden'd child, i. 277. [287].
Copy maids make fond wives, ſays Mr. Solmes, i. 370. [ii. 65].
The Fondneſs of a wife to an huſband, whom in courtſhip ſhe deſpiſed for mental imperfections, muſt be imputed either to diſſimulation, or to very indelicate mo⯑tives, i. 380. [ii. 71, 72].
We are apt to be fond of any body that will ſide with us when we are oppreſſed or provoked, ii. 112, 113. [200].
Fondneſs and Toying between a married pair before company, Lovelace himſelf condemns, not only as in⯑diſcreet, but as indecent and ſcandalous, iv. 130, 131. [328].
Single Ladies who ſhew too viſible a Fondneſs for a man, diſcharge him fom all complaiſance, iv. 208. [v. 38].
Single Ladies ſhould never be witneſſes to thoſe free⯑doms between fond huſbands and wives (tho' ever ſo much the wives friends) which they would not have of⯑fered to themſelves, Lovel. v. 316. [vi. 229].
MANY a young offender againſt modeſty and decen⯑cy, has been confirmed a libertine by a too eaſy For⯑giveneſs, iii. 325. See alſo i. 213. [iv. 110. See alſo i. 221].
An eaſy Forgiveneſs, where a perſon ought to be for⯑given, will increaſe the obligation with a mind not un⯑generous, iv. 181. [v. 10].
A negative Forgiveneſs is an ungracious one, iv. 197. [v. 27].
The perſon who would exact a promiſe of Pardon, tacitly acknowleges that he deſerves it not, iv. 343. [v. 180].
May thoſe be forgiven, prays Clariſſa in the height of her calamities, who hinder my father from forgiving me! and this ſhall be the harſheſt thing, relating to them, that falls from my pen, v. 223. [vi. 129, 130].
[125] An accidental and unpremeditated Error, carries with it the ſtrongeſt plea for Forgiveneſs, v. 223. [vi. 130].
Tell Mr. Lovelace, nobly ſays Clariſſa, that I am en⯑deavouring to bring my mind to ſuch a frame, as to be able to pity him; and that I ſhall not think myſelf qua⯑lified for the ſtate I am aſpiring to, if, after a few ſtruggles more, I cannot forgive him too, vi. 21. vii. 37, 38. [vi. 349. vii. 378].
Nothing can be more wounding than a generous For⯑giveneſs, vi. 52. [382].
The eaſy Pardon perverſe children meet with, when they have done the moſt raſh and undutiful thing they can do, occaſions many to follow their example, vi. 119. [vii. 33].
To be forgiven by injured Innocents is neceſſary, Lovelace thinks, to the divine Pardon, vi. 169. [vii. 86].
Men are leſs unforgiving than women, Lovel. vi. 196. [vii. 116].
FRIENDSHIP ſhould never give a byas againſt judg⯑ment, i. 53. [55].
True Friendſhip admits not of reſerve, ibid.
How ſhall we expect to avoid the cenſure of our ene⯑mies, if our Friends will not hold a looking-glaſs before us, to let us ſee our imperfections in it? i. 62. [65].
Friend ſhould judge Friend, as an indifferent perſon would be ſuppoſed to judge of him, i. 63. 75. [65. 181].
It is natural for the perſon who has the misfortune of loſing old Friends, to be deſirous of making new ones, i. 159. [165].
Such a difference in temper and conſtitution in two young Ladies as excludes all imaginary rivalſhip, may be the cement of a firm Friendſhip between them, i. 167. [174].
The part of a true Friend is to ſooth, or conciliate, rather than to ſtimulate, or provoke, the anguiſh of a complaining ſpirit ill at eaſe with her neareſt relations, i. 173. 175. [i. 181, 182].
[126] A brother may not be a Friend, but a Friend will always be a brother, i. 324. [ii. 15].
An ingenuous and worthy mind will ſay with Clariſſa, ‘"Spare me not becauſe I am your Friend; but, rather, for that very reaſon, ſpare me not,"’ ii. 55. [146].
No true Friend can aſk to be relieved from a diſtreſs, which would involve a Friend in as deep a one, ii. 204. [288].
But if, with a ſmall inconvenience to ourſelves, we could relieve our Friend from a great one, I would not, ſays Miſs Howe, admit the refuſer into the outermoſt fold of my heart, ii. 204. See alſo ii. 153. [ii. 288. See alſo ii. 239].
To be diſpleaſed with a Friend for telling us our faults, is putting ourſelves into the inconvenient ſituation of royalty, and out of the way of amendment, ii. 210. [294].
Veneration is hardly compatible with that ſweet fa⯑miliarity which is neceſſary to unite two perſons in the bands of Friendſhip, ibid.
The perſon who has been miſled, is obliged, as well in prudence, as in generoſity and juſtice (that her own error may not ſpread) to caution a truly-beloved Friend not to fall into the like, iii. 53. [196].
Freely to give reproof, and thankfully to receive it, is an indiſpenſable condition of true Friendſhip, iii. 54. 63. [196. 205].
An apology made for an honeſt and friendly freedom, is a ſort of civil affront, iii. 65. [207].
It is kind [tho' it may be difficult] to conceal from a dear Friend thoſe griefs which cannot be relieved, iii. 252. [iv. 39].
Misfortunes give a call to diſcharge the nobleſt offices of Friendſhip, ibid.
Great minds carry their Friendſhip beyond accidents, and ties of blood, iii. 278. [iv. 65].
Fervent Friendſhips ſeldom ſubſiſt between two ſiſter⯑beauties, both toaſts, iii. 399. [iv. 183].
There is a conſentaneouſneſs in ſome minds, which will unite them ſtronger to each other in a few hours, than can be done in years with ſome others, whom yet we ſee not with diſguſt, iv. 100. [294].
[127] An active ſpirit in one Friend, and a paſſive one in the other, is likely to make their Friendſhip durable, v. 9. [255].
A great error ought leſs to be excuſed in one we va⯑lue, than in one to whom we are indifferent, v. 236. [vi. 144].
True Friendſhip will make a perſon careful to ſhun every appearance that may tend to debaſe it by ſelfiſh or ſordid views, v. 351. [vi. 267].
No Friendſhip, but what is virtuous, can be worthy of that ſacred name, v. 379, 380. 383. [vi. 298. 301].
There are Friendſhips that are only bottle-deep, vi. 17. 238, 239. [vi. 345. vii. 160, 161].
Friendſhips with gay people, who became intimate be⯑cauſe they were gay, the reaſon for their firſt intimacy ceaſing, will fade, vi. 17. [345].
The Friendſhip of gay people, and of free livers, ought more properly to be called Companionſhip, ibid.
Ladies, conſpicuouſly worthy, give ſignificance to thoſe whom they honour with their intimacy, vi. 42. [371].
The ties of pure Friendſhip are more binding and ten⯑der than thoſe of Nature, vi. 42. [372].
It is diſgraceful to be thought to be the intimate Friend of a profligate and incorrigible man, vi 68. [399].
There is an exalted pleaſure in intellectual Friendſhip, that cannot be taſted in the groſs fumes of ſenſuality, vi. 74. [405].
Warmth becomes Friendſhip when our Friend is ſtruggling with undeſerved calamity, vi. 75. [407].
I have no notion, ſays Miſs Howe, of coolneſs in Friendſhip, be it diſguiſed, or diſtinguiſhed, by the name of Prudence, or what it will, ibid.
It is not every one who has a ſoul capable of Friend⯑ſhip, vi. 78. [410].
One day profligate men will be convinced, that what they call Friendſhip is chaff and ſtubble, and that no⯑thing is worthy of that ſacred name that has not virtue for its baſe, vi. 239. [vii. 162].
The good opinion we have entertain'd of a perſon [128] we have once thought worthy of it, is not to be lightly given up, vi. 286. [vii. 211].
Friendſhip, generally ſpeaking, is too fervent a flame for female minds to manage, Col. Morden, vii. 243. [viii. 167].
—A light that, but in few of their hands, burns ſteady, and often hurries the Sex into flight and abſur⯑dity; and, like other extremes, is hardly ever durable, Col. Morden, ibid.
Marriage, which is the higheſt ſtate of Friendſhip, ge⯑nerally abſorbs the moſt vehement Friendſhip of female to female, ibid.
What female mind is capable of two fervent Friend⯑ſhips at the ſame time? ibid.
The following are the requiſites, according to Col. Morden, of fervent and durable female Friendſhip; to wit, That both ſhould [like Clariſſa and Miſs Howe] have enlarged hearts, a good education, and minds thirſting after virtuous knowlege.—
That they ſhould be nearly of equal fortunes, in order to be above that dependence on each other, which fre⯑quently deſtroys the familiarity that is the cement of Friendſhip.—
That each ſhould excel in different ways, that there might not be room for either to envy the other.—
That each ſhould ſee ſomething in the other to fear, as well as to love.—
That it ſhould be an indiſpenſable condition of their Friendſhip, each to tell the other of her failings, and to be thankful for the freedom taken.—
That the one ſhould be, by Nature gentle; the other made ſo by her love and admiration of her Friend, vii. 243, 244. [viii. 167].
GAMING is equally a waſter of time and talents, i. 66. [69].
It is making my friends a very ill compliment, ſays Clariſſa, to ſuppoſe they wiſh to be poſſeſſed of what belongs to me; and I ſhould be very unworthy, if I de⯑ſir'd [129] to make myſelf a title to what is theirs, vii. 286. [viii. 212].
Except for trifles, what prudent perſon would ſubmit to Chance what they are already ſure of? ibid.
High Gaming is an immorality, a ſordid vice, the child of avarice, and a direct breach of that command⯑ment which forbids us to covet what is our neighbour's, ibid.
RESERVES are painful to open and free ſpirits, i. 9. [9].
Generous minds are rather to be invited than intimi⯑dated, i. 46. 77. [48. 80].
A generous-ſpirited woman, to be happy, ſhould take care not to marry a ſordid man, i. 74. [77].
A generous mind will love the perſon who corrects her in love, the better for the correction, i. 175. [182].
The tendereſt and moſt generous minds, when harſhly treated, frequently become the moſt inflexible, i. 388. [ii. 79].
Generoſity engages the nobly-minded as ſtrongly as Love, ii. 69. [160].
Undue diſpleaſure, when appearing to a generous mind undue, will procure to the ſuppoſed offender high amends, ii. 71. [162].
Noble-minded perſons, in the exertion of their munifi⯑cence, ſilently reproach the reſt of the world, ii. 80. [170].
Tho' a generous perſon may wiſh ſhe had not been laid under obligations for a benefit unrequeſtedly con⯑ferr'd on herſelf, or her dependents, yet ſhe cannot but love the obliger the more for the exertion of a ſpirit ſo like her own, ii. 81. [170].
A generous perſon highly praiſed will endeavour to deſerve the good opinion of the applauder, that ſhe may not at once diſgrace his judgment and her own heart, ii. 89. [178, 179].
A truly generous and candid mind will often make excuſes for other people, in caſes where it would not have allow'd of one for itſelf, ii. 204. See alſo ii. 80. [ii. 288. See alſo 170].
[130] A generous mind cannot abuſe a generous confidence, ii. 303. [iii. 41].
A truly generous ſpirit will, in requiſite caſes, give advice againſt itſelf, iii. 53, 54. [196].
A frank, or open-minded perſon, at once, where he likes, mingles minds, and is forward to diſſipate diffi⯑dences, iii. 168. [300].
A generous ſpirit cannot enjoy its happineſs without communication, iii. 181. [316].
The perſon who has the advantage in an argument, and is incapable of inſult or triumph upon it, will diſ⯑appoint envy, and ſubdue ill-will, iii. 276. [iv. 62].
True Generoſity is more than Politeneſs, it is more than good Faith, it is more than Honour, it is more than Juſtice; ſince all theſe are but duties, iii. 308. [iv. 94].
The man who would be thought generous, muſt firſt be juſt, iii. 313. [iv. 98].
A generous mind will not take pleaſure in vexing even thoſe by whom it has been diſtreſs'd, iv. 360. [v. 198].
Leave ſhould not be waited for to do a right, a juſt, a generous thing, if it be in one's power to do it, v. 13. [259, 260].
It may be very generous in one perſon to offer what it would be ungenerous in another to accept, v. 387. [vi. 305].
A Perſon of a mind not ungenerous, will rather be ſorry for having given an offence, than diſpleaſed at be⯑ing amicably told of it, vi. 4. [331].
Generous minds are always of kin, ibid.
A generous mind muſt be uneaſy when it is laid un⯑der obligations which are beyond its power to return, vi. 42. [372].
Love and Gratitude will not be narrow'd down to meer family-conſiderations, vii. 178. [viii. 100].
It is generous to take the part of an abſent perſon if not flagrantly culpable, vii. 274. [viii. 199].
Generoſity is the happy medium between Parſimony and Profuſeneſs, vii. 281. [viii. 206].
A generous mind will not ſcruple to give advantage [131] to a perſon of merit, tho' not always to her own ad⯑vantage, vii. 283. [viii. 206].
See Friendſhip. Goodneſs.
A GOOD Perſon will not wilfully incur the cenſure even of an adverſary, i. 63. [65].
A good man need not be afraid that his conduct ſhould be pry'd into, i. 68. [70].
Goodneſs is Greatneſs, i. 238. [246].
A good perſon, far from being guilty of a falſhood, will not have recourſe to equivocation, i. 258. [267].
People, ſays Lovelace, who act like angels ought to have angels to deal with, ii. 88. [177].
How great a ſatisfaction is it to a good mind to be able to reflect, that it has rather ſuffered, than offered, wrong! ii. 286. [iii. 25].
A good man will not make the ſlumbers of a worthy woman uneaſy, iii. 131. [268].
A worthy perſon will be always ready to draw fa⯑vourable concluſions on the actions and words of others, iv. 356. [v. 194].
A good perſon will wiſh to make every one happy, even to her very ſervants, iv. 375. [v. 214].
Goodneſs and generoſity of ſentiments give grace and luſtre to beauty, vi. 21. [350].
A good woman will have other views in living than the common ones of eating, ſleeping, dreſſing, viſiting, &c. vi. 66. [398].
Goodneſs muſt be uniform, vii. 13. [352].
The word Grace is the Rake's Shibboleth. There are no hopes of one who can make a jeſt either of it, or of him who uſes it, vii. 142. [viii. 62].
A good-natured and polite perſon will not expoſe even pretenders to Science, in their abſence, to the ridicule of lively ſpirits, vii. 284. [viii. 210].
See Friendſhip. Virtue.
IT is Ingratitude and Tyranny in a woman to uſe a man the worſe for his reſpect to her, i. 248. [257].
[132] A thankful ſpirit is the ſame as a joyful one, iv. 92. [285].
We muſt be greatly ſenſible of the Ingratitude of thoſe we love, vi. 47. [376].
To take advantage of an innocent creature's good opinion, to her own detriment, or ruin, is the moſt un⯑grateful wickedneſs that can be committed by man, vi. 362. [vii. 292].
Particular inſtances of Ingratitude in another to us, ſhould not be permitted to narrow and contract our cha⯑rity into general doubt or jealouſy, vii. 274. [viii. 199].
WHEN grievances are to be enumerated, ſlight mat⯑ters are often thrown in to make weight, that other⯑wiſe would not have been complained of, i. 211. [219].
That ſilence wants not either merit or amiableneſs, which is owing to the perſon's being afraid of diſcover⯑ing by his voice, the depth of his concern, ii. 82. [172].
What a poor paſſive machine is the body, when the mind is diſorder'd! ii. 100. [188].
Sorrow makes an ugly face odious, Lovel. iv. 190. vi. 93. [v. 19. vii. 5, 6].
Thoſe who mourn for a loſt friend, will find their Grief very much abated, when they are themſelves at⯑tack'd by a dangerous, or painful illneſs, Lovel. iv. 126. [323].
Grief, ſays Lovelace, is a ſlow worker, and gives time to pop in a little joy between its ſullen fits, iv. 174. [375].
It is the humble, ſilent Grief that only deſerves pity, iv. 191. [v. 20].
How anxiouſly do we pray for the life of a dear child in its illneſs, which when grown to maturity we have reaſon to wiſh had not been granted to our prayers! vi. 116. [vii. 30].
Thoſe, who fly from home to avoid an heavy ſcene, labour under more diſtreſs in the intermediate ſuſpenſe, than they could have done were they to be preſent at it, vii. 25. [364].
Seaſonable and neceſſary employments ſhould be found [133] out, to amuſe and to divert perſons ſuffering under vio⯑lent Grief, or loſs of deareſt friends, vii. 102. [viii. 69].
It is natural for us, in every deep and ſincere Grief, to intereſt in it all we know, vii. 149. [viii. 69].
Grief [for the loſs of friends] may be mellow'd by time into remembrances more ſweet than painful, vii. 180. [viii. 102].
See Adverſity. Conſolation.
HABITS are not eaſily changed, i. 236. vii. 211. [i. 245. viii. 134].
Vice is a coward, and will hide its head when ſteadily oppoſed by an advocate for virtue, i. 327. [ii. 19].
What muſt be the force of evil Habits in a man, who thinks right, yet diſgrace his knowlege by acting wrong! iii. 13. [157].
The guilty eye will ſink under an examining one that is innocent, iii. 164. [300].
The Guilty leſs bear the detecting truth, than the in⯑nocent do the degrading falſhood, iv. 20. [208].
Bad men take more pains to be wicked, than it would coſt them to be good, iv. 108. v. 96. [iv. 303. v. 344].
The ſun ſhines alike upon the bad and the good; but the guilty mind it cannot illuminate, v. 80. [330].
Every vice generally brings on it own puniſhment, v. 80. [331].
The injured will often ſweetly ſleep when the injurer cannot cloſe his eyes, ibid.
There can hardly be a greater puniſhment hereafter, ſays Lovelace, reflecting on his laſt outrage on Clariſſa, than that which I at this inſtant experience in my own re⯑morſe, ibid.
What a detection muſt ever fall to the lot of Guilt, ſays Lavelace, on Clariſſa's behaviour in the Penknife ſcene, were it given to Innocence always thus nobly to exert it⯑ſelf! v. 150. [vi. 62].
[134] Many people are deterr'd from Evil rather by the fear of detection, than by principle, v. 286. [vi. 19].
To plunder a wreck, and to rob at a fire, are the moſt barbarous of all villainies, vi. 65. [396].
Sins preſumptuouſly committed againſt knowlege, and againſt warning, are the moſt unpardonable of all others, vi. 119. [vii. 33].
Thoſe who cannot ſtand the ſhock of public ſhame, ought to be doubly careful that they incur not private Guilt which may bring them to it, vi. 287. [vii. 212].
Guilt, when detected, is, literally ſpeaking, its own puniſher, even in this world, ſince it makes the haughtieſt ſpirits look like miſcreants, vi. 346. [vii. 274].
Evil Courſes can no longer yield pleaſure than while thought and reflection can be kept off, vii. 200. [viii. 123].
See Innocence. Ingratitude. Libertine. Remorſe. Repentance.
IT is happy for a perſon to leave the world poſſeſſed of every one's love, i. 5. [5].
Happineſs and Riches are two things, and very ſeldom meet together, i. 122. [127].
Were we perfect, which no one can be, we could not be happy in this life (even in the uſual acceptation of the word) unleſs thoſe with whom we have to deal, and more eſpecially thoſe who have any controul over us, were governed by the principles by which we ourſelves are directed, i. 123. [127, 128].
To know we are happy, and not to leave it to after⯑reflection to look back upon the preferable Paſt with a heavy and ſelf-accuſing heart, is the higheſt of human felicities, ii. 77. [167].
What a happineſs muſt that man know, who moves regularly to ſome laudable end, and has nothing to re⯑proach himſelf with in his progreſs to it! iv. 384. [v. 224].
[135] The heireſs to Content is the richeſt heireſs that can be ſought after, v. 221. [vi. 127].
See Friendſhip. Generoſity. Goodneſs.
SOUND Health will make the ſoul and body pleaſed with each other, i. 264. [274].
Poverty is the mother of Health, ii. 16. [110]. Temperance will give Health and Vigour to an ori⯑ginally tender conſtitution, ii. 289. [iii. 28].
Health diſpoſes us to be pleaſed with ourſelves; and then we are in a way to be pleaſed with every one elſe, vi. 30. [359].
In Health every hope riſes upon us; every hour pre⯑ſents itſelf to us on dancing feet, ibid.
What Mr. Addiſon ſays of Liberty, may, with ſtill greater propriety, be ſaid of Health; for what is Liberty itſelf without Health?
Men of very ſtrong bodily Health ſeldom know how to pity the ſick or infirm, vi. 249. [vii. 171].
See Phyſic. Vapours.
HE that wants a heart, wants every thing, i. 264. [274].
A wrong head may be convinced, but who can give a Heart where it is wanting? ibid.
The perſon who wants a feeling Heart, wants the higheſt joy in this life, i. 286. [296]. yet is ſaved many griefs by that defect, i. 264. [274].
Where the Heart in important caſes involuntarily, as may be ſaid, miſgives, its miſgivings ought generally to be attended to, as if the impulſes of Conſcience, ii. 215. [300].
It is more to a man's praiſe to ſhew a kind Heart, than a cunning head, ii. 226. [310].
Perſons of Humanity will not be aſhamed, on pro⯑per [136] occaſions, to ſhew by their eyes that they have feel⯑ing Hearts, iv. 122. [319].
Women ſhould make it a rule to judge of the Heart of a man, as he is or is not affected by the woes of others, whether real or repreſented, ibid.
He who can place his pride in a barbarous inſenſibi⯑lity, is ignorant of the principal Glory of the Human Nature, ibid.
Who can be happy, ſays Lovelace, and have a feeling Heart? yet he, who, has it not, muſt be a Tiger and no Man, iv. 339. [v. 176].
Even thoſe people who have bad Hearts, will have a veneration for thoſe who have good ones, v. 283. See alſo iv. 217. [vi. 194. See alſo v. 48].
What the unpenetrating world call Humanity, is of⯑ten no more than a weak mind pitying itſelf, Lovel, v. 304. [vi. 217].
A capacity of being moved by the diſtreſſes of our fellow-creatures is far from being diſgraceful to a manly Heart, v. 358. [vi. 275].
Sweet is the pain which generous natures feel for the diſtreſſes of others, vi. 280. [vii. 205].
A kind Heart is a greater bleſſing to its poſſeſſor, than it can be to any other perſon who may receive be⯑nefit from it, vi. 295. [vii. 221].
See Friendſhip. Generoſity. Goodneſs.
WHAT a praiſe is it to Honeſty, that every man pre⯑tends to it, even at the inſtant that he knows he means to be a knave! i. 229. [237].
Honeſty is the chief pride of the low. In the high, the love of power, of grandeur, of pleaſure, miſlead, and induce a paramount pride, which too often ſwallows up the more laudable one, ii. 59. [150].
What is there in this dull word, or thing, call'd Ho⯑neſty, aſks Lovelace, that even I cannot help thinking, the temporary emanation of it in ſuch a man as Tom⯑linſon, amiable? iv. 367. [v. 205, 206].
It is ſo much every one's duty to be honeſt, that no one has merit in being ſo; every honeſt man therefore [137] may call himſelf honeſt without the imputation of va⯑nity, vii. 268. [viii. 193]. [See Goodneſs.
THE plaineſt path in our journey thro' life, is, as ac⯑knowleges Lovelace, the ſafeſt and the beſt, iii. 261. [iv. 48].
In all human affairs, the convenient and the inconve⯑nient, the good and the bad, are ſo mingled, that there is no having the one without the other, iv. 46. [236].
As Human Life is chequer-work, a perſon of prudence will ſet ſo much good againſt ſo much bad, in order to ſtrike a balance, iv. 119. [316].
When can creatures, who hold by ſo uncertain a te⯑nure as that of Mortality, be ſaid to be out of danger? vi. 55. [386].
This is one of thoſe common forms of ſpeech that proves the frailty and the preſumption of poor mortals at the ſame time, ibid.
What are ten, twenty, or thirty years to look back to, in the longeſt of which periods forward, we ſhall all perhaps be mingled with the duſt from whence we ſprung? vi. 252. [vii. 174].
What is even the longeſt Life that in high health we wiſh for? what, as we go along, but a life of appre⯑henſions, ſometimes for our friends, and oftener for our⯑ſelves? vi. 402. [vii. 334].
And at laſt, when arrived at the old age we covet, one heavy loſs or deprivation having ſucceeded another, we ſee ourſelves ſtripp'd, as may be ſaid, of every one we lov'd; and expoſed as uncompanionable poor crea⯑tures to the ſlights of joſtling youth, who want to puſh us of the ſtage, in hopes to poſſeſs what we have, ibid.
And, ſuper-added to all, our own infirmities every day increaſing; of themſelves enough to make the Life we wiſh for, the greateſt diſeaſe of all, vi. 402. [vii. 335].
To wiſh for an exemption from all infelicities, were to wiſh for that which can never happen in this world, and what perhaps ought not to be wiſh'd for, if by a wiſh we could obtain it, ſince we are not to live always, vi. 407. [vii. 339]. [See Conſolation.
NATURE gives us relations that choice would not have made ſuch, i. 194. [201].
What a world is this! one half of the people in it tormenting the other half, yet being themſelves torment⯑ed in tormenting! i. 346. v. 296. [ii. 38. vi. 208].
What a contemptible rogue, whether in poor or rich, is Human Nature! Lovel. iii. 25. iv. 328. See alſo iii. 268. [iii. 169. v. 164. See alſo iv. 55].
How apt is Human Nature to juſtify a byas which it would give a perſon pain to contend with! iii. 66. 312. [iii. 207, 208. iv. 97].
It is but ſhaping the bribe to the taſte, and every one has his price, Lovel. iv. 328. [v. 164].
The clown, as well as his betters, practiſes what he cenſures, and cenſures what he practiſes, iv. 403. [v. 244].
In every human breaſt ſome one paſſion generally breaks through principle, and controuls us all, Lovel. v. 104. [vi. 5].
In ſome things we all err, vi. 11. [338].
Thoſe who err on the unfavourable ſide of a judg⯑ment, are likely to be in the right five times in ſix: So vile a thing is Human Nature, ſays Lovelace, vi. 97. [vii. 9].
See Detraction.
HUMILITY muſt be the ornament of a high condi⯑tion, i. 186. [193].
Perſons of Humility and Affability, by their ſweetneſs of manners, inſenſibly draw people into their ſentiments, iii. 276. [iv. 62].
All human excellence is but comparative. There may be perſons who excel us, as much as we fanſy we excel the meaneſt, vii. 272. [viii. 198].
The grace that makes every grace amiable, is Humi⯑lity, ibid.
See Duty. Goodneſs.
WHAT a Huſband muſt that man make who is fond of prerogative, and yet ſtands in need of the inſtruction which a man ſhould be qualified to give! i. 205. [212].
The heart, not the figure of the man, is what ſhould determine a woman in the choice of an Huſband, i. 259. [268].
Sobriety in a man is a great point to be ſecured, ſince ſo many miſchiefs happen thro' exceſs, i. 260. [269].
As obedience is made a part of the matrimonial vow, a woman ſhould not teach a man, by a failure in that, to diſpenſe with perhaps more material parts of his, i. 261. [271].
The principal views of a good Wife, in adorning her perſon, ſhould be to preſerve her Huſband's affection, and to do credit to his choice, i. 274. [284].
A married woman ſhould be even fearful of attract⯑ing the eyes of any man but thoſe of her Huſband, ibid.
A gloomy ſpirit in a Huſband will ſwallow up a chear⯑ful one in his Wife, i. 324. [ii. 16].
Greatneſs of ſoul is required in a woman of ſenſe and generoſity, to make her in her heart forbear to deſpiſe a low-minded Huſband, i. 376. iv. 29. [ii. 67. iv. 217].
Huſbands are often jealous of their authority and con⯑ſequence with women who have wit, ii. 204. [ii. 92].
A Wife is the keeper of her Huſband's honour, ii. 345. [iii. 81].
A Wife's faults, in the world's eye, bring more diſ⯑grace upon the Huſband than even upon herſelf, ii. 345. iii. 317. [iii. 81. iv. 101].
The Wife, by infidelity, may do more injury to the Huſband than the Huſband can to the Wife, ii. 349. [iii. 84].
Handſome Huſbands often make a Wife's heart ake, iii. 29. [172, 173].
Handſome Huſbands think the woman they marry un⯑der obligation to them, ii. 29. [173].
A Huſband and Wife may be too much of one temper to agree, iii. 46. [189].
[140] Two perſons of tempers not comparatively bad, may be very unhappy if they will be both out of humour at one time, iii. 46. [189].
It is a moſt affecting thing to be ſeparated by death from a good Huſband, and left in deſtitute circum⯑ſtances, and that not by his fault, iii. 164. [300].
A wiſe man will rather endeavour to inſpire a con⯑ſciouſneſs of dignity in the heart of his Wife, than to depreſs and humble her in her own eyes, iii. 295. 303. 333. [iv. 81. 89. 117].
Prudence, virtue, and delicacy of mind in a Wife do a man more honour in the eyes of the world, than the ſame qualities in himſelf, iii. 317. [iv. 101].
A good woman will be as delicate of her Huſband's honour as of her own, iv. 30. [219].
A good Wife will think it her duty to lay up out of her own ſeparate proviſion, if not a too ſcanty one, for the family good, and for accidents, iv. 30, 31. [219].
A tyrant Huſband, ſays Lovelace, makes a dutiful Wife, iv. 57. [248, 249].
The virtue of a woman who has a bad Huſband is always is danger, iv. 74. [266-268].
A proud and bad ſpirit cannot bear a ſuperiority of talents in a Wife, tho' ſhe and all her excellencies are his in full property, iv. 185. [v. 14].
A bountiful-temper'd Wife ſhould take care, that by doing more than juſtice to others, ſhe does not leſs than juſtice by her huſband, iv. 220. [v. 51].
To bear much with ſome Wives, is to be under a ne⯑ceſſity to bear more, iv. 316. [v. 152].
Huſbands and Wives who live together in good un⯑derſtanding, give to ſtrangers an almoſt unerring proof of the goodneſs of their hearts, v. 283. Et è contra [vi. 194. Et è contra.]
Happy is the marriage where neither Man nor Wife has any wilful or premeditated evil [or low cunning] to reproach each other with! ibid.
What good principles, ſays Lovelace, muſt that Wife have, who, [in temptation] preſerves her faith to a man who has no ſhare in her affections! v. 396. [vi. 315].
It is impoſſible that a man of a cruel nature, of a [141] ſportive invention, and who has an high opinion of himſelf, and a low one of the Female Sex, ſhould make a tender and good Huſband, vi. 127, 128. [vii. 42].
A prudent Wife will conquer by yielding, vi. 129. [vii. 43].
Women ſhould conſider, that a man who is made un⯑eaſy at home, can divert himſelf abroad; which a wo⯑man cannot ſo eaſily do, without ſcandal, vii. 244. [viii. 168].
The managing Wife, if prudent, may lay a ſeeming obligation on a meek, or good-natured Huſband, by the performance of no more than her duty, vii. 246. [viii. 170].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Marriage.
THE man who has actually prevail'd with a woman to throw herſelf into his power, has no occaſion for Hy⯑pocriſy, ii. 395. See alſo ii. 318. [iii. 128. See alſo iii. 56].
What an Hyaena is the woman who will put her handkerchief to her eye oftener than ſhe wets it! iii. 164. [300].
A text of Scripture is often, Lovelace ſays, a cloak for an Hypocrite, iv. 96. [290].
See Human Nature.
WHOM we fear more than love, we are not far from hating, i. 19. [20].
Ill-will, if it cannot find occaſions of diſguſt, will make them, i. 20. [21].
Merit and excellence are the fuel that keeps envy alive, i. 53. 72. [55. 74].
Envy and Ill-will often extend their malignancy to the whole families of the hated perſon, i. 72. [75].
Ill-will has eyes ever open to the faulty ſide; as good-will, or love, is blind even to real imperfections, i. 120. [124].
[142] Hatred is an enemy even to the common forms of ci⯑vility, i. 187. [195].
Projects form'd in Malice, and founded in Selfiſhneſs, ought to be diſappointed, i. 194. [202].
Hatred miſrepreſents all things, i. 243. [251].
Spiteful people will ſometimes ſhew gayety and fa⯑vour to one they value not, merely to vex another with whom they are diſpleaſed, ii. 82. [172].
Abſence heightens Malice, ii. 246. [329].
Hatred and Anger are but temporary paſſions in wor⯑thy minds, iv. 85. [278].
Where the ear is open to accuſation, accuſers will not be wanting, vi. 157, 158. [vii. 74].
THE Female Sex have great advantages over the other in all the powers that relate to the Imagination, ii. 18. [111].
Perſecution and Diſcouragement depreſs ingenuous minds, and blunt the edge of lively Imaginations, ii. 19. [113].
Whatever we ſtrongly imagine is at the time more than imaginary, altho' it may not appear ſo to others, ii. 93. [182].
Warm Imaginations are not without a mixture of En⯑thuſiaſm, iii. 278. [iv. 64].
Fancy or Imagination, be the ſubject either joyous or grievous, is able to outgo fact, vii. 25. [364].
People of ſtrong Imaginations are generally diſtin⯑guiſhed from people of judgment by their peculiar flights and whimſies, vii. 195. [viii. 115].
PERSONS may be drawn in againſt Inclination, 'till cuſtom will make an Inclination, i. 59. [62].
Some people need no greater puniſhment than to be permitted to purſue their own Inclinations, i. 115. [156].
Whatever our hearts are in, ſays Lovelace, our heads will follow, ii. 327. [iii. 63].
It is the art of the Devil, and of Libertines, to ſuit tem⯑ptations to Inclinations, ii. 344. v. 122. [iii. 80. vi. 24].
See Libertine. Love.
THE Indiſcretions of a reputedly prudent perſon, are a wound to Virtue, i. 372. [ii. 63].
A great and wilful Indiſcretion, not only debaſes a perſon in her own eyes, but weakens her authority and influence over others, ii. 310. [iii. 47].
It is one of the crueleſt circumſtances that attends the faults of the Inconſiderate, that ſhe makes all who love her unhappy, and gives joy only to the enemies of her family, ii. 397. [iii. 130].
Preſumption join'd to Inexperience is often the ruin even of well-meaning perſons, iii. 244. [iv. 36].
A worthy mind drawn in to an Indiſcretion, will have as much concern for the pain given by it to thoſe ſhe loves, as for the diſgraces brought upon herſelf, iv. 221. [v. 52].
See Advice to Women.
THERE can be no hope of a man of profligate life, whoſe vices have taken root in Infidelity, iv. 122. [319].
Thoſe who know leaſt are the greateſt Sooffers, ſays Belford, vi. 64. [395].
Scoffers generally cenſure without knowledge, laugh without reaſon, and are noiſy and loud on things of which they know the leaſt, Belf. ibid.
See Guilt. Religion.
AN innocent man may deſpiſe obloquy, i. 265. [275].
An innocent perſon doubted, will not fear his trial, ii. 350. [iii. 86].
Innocence (according to its company) had better have a greater mixture of the ſerpent with the dove, than it generally has, Lovel. iv. 280. [v. 114].
Happy is the perſon who can ſay with Clariſſa, ‘"I ſhould be glad that all the world knew my heart. Let [144] my enemies ſit in judgment upon my actions; fairly ſcann'd, I fear not the reſult,"’ iv. 338. [v. 174, 175].
‘"Let them even aſk me my moſt ſecret thoughts; and whether the revealing of them make for me or againſt me, I will reveal them,"’ iv. 338. [v. 175].
An innocent perſon, being apt to judge of others hearts by his own, is the eaſieſt to be impoſed upon, vi. 152. [vii. 68].
See Goodneſs. Virtue.
THE man who can creep and fawn to thoſe by whom he hopes to be a gainer, will be inſolent and over-bear⯑ing to thoſe on whom he can have no ſuch view, i. 165. ii. 93. [i. 171. ii. 182].
In-door Inſolents who frighten women, children, and ſervants, are generally cravens among men, i. 323. [ii. 15].
Inſolent controul more effectually ſubdues ſome female ſpirits, than kindneſs and conceſſion, i. 325. [ii. 16].
Some people act by others, as if they thought patience and forbearance neceſſary on one ſide to be upon good terms together, but always take care rather to owe, than to lay the obligation, ii. 32. [125].
People who find their anger has made them conſider⯑able, will ſeldom be pleaſed, iii. 67. [208, 209].
Conceſſions made to ungenerous ſpirits, ſerve only to confirm them in their Inſolence, iii. 67. [209].
Inſolence is the parent of meanneſs, iv. 372. [v. 211].
See Guilt. Libertine.
AN error againſt Judgment, is infinitely worſe than an error in Judgment, i. 263. [i. 273].
In order to form a Judgment of the tempers of men with whom we incline to have a cloſe connexion, we ſhould attend to their behaviour upon ſlight diſappoint⯑ments or provocations, and then we ſhall be able perhaps to decide what is to be aſcribed to Art in them, and what to Nature, ii. 29. [122].
[145] She who acts up to the beſt of her Judgment, at the time ſhe is called upon to act, has the leſs to blame herſelf for, tho' the event ſhould prove unfavourable, ii. 296. See alſo i. 121. [iii. 34. See alſo i. 125].
The eye and the heart, when too cloſely allied, are generally at enmity with the Judgment, iii. 45. 270, 273. [iii. 188. iv. 57, 58].
To judge of the reaſonableneſs of the conduct and reſentment of others, we ought to put ourſelves exactly in their ſituations, vi. 128. [vii. 43].
IN an unjuſt donation, the giver and receiver [the lat⯑ter knowing it to be ſo] are both culpable, i. 78. 122. 306. [18. 127. 318].
There is a Right and Wrong in every thing, let peo⯑ple put what gloſs they will upon their actions, ii. 74. [165].
A woman may then doubt the Juſtice of her cauſe, when thoſe who loved her, and are not principals in the point in debate, condemn her, iii. 54. [197].
A man reflects upon himſelf, and upon the company he has kept, if he treats common inſtances of Juſtice, Gratitude and Benevolence, as extraordinary, iii. 309. [iv. 94, 95].
Libertine as I am thought to be, ſays Lovelace, I ne⯑ver will attempt to bring down the meaſure of Right and Wrong to the ſtandard of my own actions, vi. 10. [338].
Thoſe who take advantage of the neceſſities of their fellow-creatures, in order to buy any thing cheaper than the real worth, are no better than robbers for the differ⯑ence, vi. 65. [395, 396].
There never was a woman ſo criminal, who had not ſome to juſtify and ſide with her, vii. 9. [347].
In all Recommendations, the good and convenience of both parties ſhould be conſulted, vii. 164. 178. [viii. 85, 86, in the note, 99].
If reflexions are juſtly thrown upon us, we ought, inſtead of reſenting, to profit by them, vii. 196. [viii. 120].
[146] If unjuſt, we ought to deſpiſe them, and the reflecter too, ſince it would be inexcuſable to ſtrengthen by an⯑ger an enemy, whoſe malice might be diſarmed by con⯑tempt, vii. 198. [viii. 120].
Juſtice, no leſs than Mercy, is an Attribute of the Almighty, vii. 202. [viii. 125].
MEN who keep women, as little know how to part with them as if they were married to them, iii. 347. [iv. 134].
A man may keep a woman, but not his eſtate, iii. 347. [iv. 131].
Rakes who deſpiſe matrimony, often become the dupes of low-bred women, who govern them more ab⯑ſolutely than a wife would attempt to do, ibid.
Keepers who are in poſſeſſion of eſtates by legal deſcent, will not wiſh that their fathers had deſpiſed matrimony as they do, ibid.
Ought not Keepers to have the ſame regard for po⯑ſterity, as their fathers had? ibid.
How can any thing be expected but riot and waſte, from creatures who know the uncertain tenure by which they hold, and who have an intereſt quite different from that of their Keepers? iii. 348. [iv. 131].
Many conſiderations with-hold a wife from infidelity to a man's bed that cannot weigh with a miſtreſs, iii. 348, 349. [iv. 132, 133].
Men will bear many things from a kept miſtreſs, which they would not bear from a wife, iii. 349. [iv. 134].
Kept women, who are generally low-born, low edu⯑cated creatures, can make no other returns for the part⯑nerſhip in a man's fortune into which they are lifted, but the libidinous ones, which a man cannot boaſt of but to the diſgrace of both, iii. 350. [iv. 135].
A Keeper, as he advances in years, will find his ap⯑petite to Libertiniſm go off, and that the regular family-life will be more and more palatable to him, ibid.
[147] Many conſiderations, reſpecting himſelf and his ille⯑gitimate children, ſhould weigh with a man who keeps a miſtreſs, and deſpiſes wedlock, iii. 350, 351. [iv. 135, 136].
The man who is capable of fondneſs to his offspring, and has a feeling heart, will marry, iii. 351. [iv. 136].
The natural fruits of treading in crooked paths are dangers, diſgrace, and a too late repentance, ibid.
Keepers are often the cullies of their own Libertiniſm, ſliding into the married ſtate with their well-worn doxies, which they might have enter'd into with their ladies or ſuperiors, iii. 352. [iv. 136].
See the remarkable ſtory of Tony Jennings, a noted Keeper, ibid.
And of Mr. Belton and his Thomaſine, iii. 354. [iv. 138].
Old men, imagining themſelves under obligation to their young paramours, ſeldom keep any thing from their knowlege, iv. 206. [v. 36].
A conſuming malady, and a conſuming miſtreſs [as in Belton's caſe] are dreadful things to ſtruggle with in the laſt ſtage of life, v. 401. vi. 172. [vi. 321. vii. 90].
Hardly ever was there a Keeper, that made not a Keepereſs, v. 403. [vi. 323].
In the laſt ſtage of a Keeper's life, the Miſtreſs's more favoured gallant has been ſometimes his Phyſician; the dying man's Will has been ready made for him; and Widow's weeds have been provided the moment he is departed, in order to eſtabliſh a marriage, vi. 172. [vii. 90].
See Libertine.
THE Law aſſerts not itſelf until it is offended, i. 109. [113].
Old Practiſers in the Law value themſelves, (too much for diſpatch) upon their ſkill as draughtſmen, iv. 44. [234].
The Lawyers who for the ſake of a paltry fee, under⯑take to make black white, and white black, endeavour [148] to eſtabliſh iniquity by quirks, and to rob the innocent, iv. 248. [v. 80].—And are as baſe, Lovelace ſays, as his and old Sinclair's vile implement Dorcas, v. 107. [vi. 9.]
The Law is a word that carries in it natural terrors to a guilty mind, v. 159. [vi. 63].
No wonder it ſhould, ſays Lovelace, ſince thoſe who will damn themſelves to procure eaſe and plenty in the world, muſt tremble at every thing that ſeems to threaten their methods of obtaining that eaſe and plenty, v. 159. 186. [vi. 63. 91].
It is but gloſſing over one part of a ſtory, and omit⯑ing another, ſays Lovelace, that will make a bad cauſe a good one, vi. 347. [vii. 276].
A LETTER'D education too generally ſets the chil⯑dren of the poor above thoſe ſervile offices, by which the buſineſs of the world is carried on, iii. 363. [iv. 148].
Take the world thro' there are twenty happy people among the unletter'd, to one among thoſe who have had a ſchool-education, iii. 364. [iv. 148].
Yet who would not wiſh to lift to ſome little diſtinction and genteel uſefulneſs, the perſon he deſires to reward? ibid.
The little words in the Republic of Letters, like the little folks in a nation, are the moſt uſeful and ſignifi⯑cant, iv. 82. [275].
A man of the deepeſt Learning may hear ſomething from even a mean preacher that he knew not before, or at leaſt that he had not conſidered in the ſame light, iv. 125. [322].
The early Learning of women, which chiefly conſiſts in what they pick up from inflaming Novels, and im⯑probable Romances, contributes greatly to enervate and weaken their minds, vi. 334. [vii. 261].
THE man wants but an opportunity to put in practice the crimes he is not aſhamed to have imputed to him, i. 67. [69].
[149] A Libertine Lover, if preferred to a virtuous one, is more likely to juſtify the diſlike of his oppoſers, than the choice of his favourer, i. 256. [266].
Rakes are more ſuſpicious than honeſt men, ii. 344. [iii. 79].
Libertines, by the frailty of thoſe women they have triumphed over, judge of the whole Sex, ii. 344. [iii. 80].
‘"Once ſubdued, and always ſubdued,"’ is an article in the Rake's Creed, ii. 352. iii. 392. [iii. 87. iv. 176].
A Libertine who is a man of ſenſe and knowlege muſt have taken great pains to ſuppreſs many good motions and reflexions as they aroſe in his mind, or levity muſt be ſurpriſingly predominant in it, iii. 13. [157].
The chief pleaſures of a Libertine muſt ariſe from the pain, the ſuſpenſe, the anguiſh of mind which he gives to the heart of a woman he pretends to love, iii. 145. [281].
A Libertine believes that no woman can be chaſte or virtuous from principle, iii. 246. [iv. 33].
Every woman who favours a Libertine, confirms him in his bad opinion of the Sex, ibid.
If a woman loves a Libertine, how will ſhe bear the thought of ſharing her intereſt in him with half the town, and thoſe perhaps the dregs of it? ibid.
Prayers, tears, and the moſt abject ſubmiſſion, are fuel to the pride of a Libertine, ibid.
Fortunes ſquander'd, eſtates mortgaged or ſold, and poſterity robb'd, are too often the reſult of a marriage with a Libertine, iii. 246. [iv. 34].
A Libertine familiarized to the diſtreſſes he occaſions, is ſeldom betrayed into a tenderneſs foreign to his na⯑ture, iii. 324. [iv. 109].
A Libertine will be more aſhamed of ſhewing com⯑paſſion by a weeping eye, than of the moſt atrocious crimes, iii. 325. [iv. 110].
Libertines [as well as women love them] have not the ardors, Miſs Howe ſays, that honeſt men have, iii. 327. [iv. 112].
Libertines are generally more ſevere exacters of im⯑plicit [150] obedience, and rigorous virtue, than other men, v. 20. [266].
No man, who can think but of half the plagues that purſue an intriguing ſpirit, would ever quit the fore-right path, v. 330. [vi. 244].
A man who when old would enjoy in peace his own reflexions, Lovelace confeſſes, ſhould never be a Rake, v. 394. [vi. 313].
The friendſhips and intimacies of Libertines are only calculated for ſtrong life and health, vi. 59. [389].
What an ungrateful, what an unmanly, what a meaner than reptile pride is his, whoſe delight is in the ruin of a perſon who confides in his honour, and whom he ought to protect! vii. 97. [viii. 15, 16].
Men of gallantry and intrigue are the inſtruments of Satan, to draw poor ſouls into thoſe ſubtle ſnares which at laſt will entangle their own feet, vii. 202. [viii. 125].
Libertines are infinitely worſe animals than beaſts of prey; ſince theſe deſtroy thro' hunger and neceſſity on⯑ly; thoſe from wantonneſs and ſport, vii. 284. [viii. 210].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Cruelty. Men and Women. Parents and Children. Vows. Wit.
SOME perſons have Meanneſs in their very pride; and their Narrowneſs goes hand in hand with it, i. 84. [88].
Like Little Souls will find one another out, as well as like Great ones, ibid.
Little Spirits will always accommodate themſelves to the tempers of thoſe they want to work upon, i. 320. [ii. 11].
Grudging and narrow Spirits know not how to confer a benefit with that grace, which gives the principal me⯑rit to a beneficent action, i. 321. [ii. 12].
One Meanneſs is not to be juſtified by another, ii. 74. [164].
To be afraid of Litle Spirits is to encourage inſults, iii. 77. [218].
[151] Meanneſs muſt ever be the portion of the man who is detected in acting vilely, iv. 294. [v. 128].
Tame Spirits will ever be impoſed upon, iv. 316. [v. 152].
There is a malignancy in Little Minds, which makes them wiſh to bring down the worthy to their own level, vi. 306. [vii. 233].
Nothing ſubjects the human mind to ſo much Mean⯑neſs, as the conſciouſneſs of having done wilful wrong to our fellow-creatures, vi. 405. [vii. 338].
People of narrow Spirits will praiſe generous ones, becauſe they find it to their purpoſe, that all the world, but themſelves, ſhould be open-minded, vii. 246. [viii. 170].
Narrow-minded perſons, judging by their own hearts, impute pride and oſtentation to worthy perſons, as their motives to good actions, vii. 271, 272. [viii. 197].
See Covetouſneſs. Partiality. Self.
THE Love which has not taken root deep enough to ſhoot out into declaration, will not be brought forward by the blighting winds of anger or reſentment, i. 10. [10]
Love takes deepeſt root in the ſteadieſt minds, i. 60. [62].
Gratitude is not always to be conſtrued into Love, i. 62. [64].
That Lion Love is not to be turned into a Lap dog, i. 63. [66].
Prodigies, tho' they obtain our admiration, never at⯑tract our Love, i. 164. [170].
Love, to look back upon, muſt appear to be a very fooliſh thing, when it has brought a perſon, born to affluence, into indigence, and laid a generous mind un⯑der obligation and dependence, i. 175. [182].
What is commonly called Love, is a narrow, circum⯑ſcribed, ſelfiſh paſſion; and, where the object of it is unworthy, a paſſion too ignoble for a pure mind to en⯑courage, i. 176. [183].
Pride and vanity are often the ſource of Love, i. 191. [198].
[152] A perſon truly in Love will be wholly engroſs'd by one object, i. 192. 196, 197. [199. 204].
Love will acquit where Reaſon condemns, i. 241. [250].
A prudent perſon will watch over the firſt approaches of Love, i. 244. [253].
It is a degree of impurity in a woman to love a ſen⯑ſual man, i. 263. [272].
Great encouragement muſt be given to Love to make it unconquerable, i. 267. [276].
Unrequited [or ſlighted] Love frequently turns to deepeſt hate, i. 280. [290].
Love delights to tame the lion-hearted, i. 318. [ii. 9].
What a worſe than Moloch-deity is Love, if it ex⯑pects an offering to be made to its ſhrine of reaſon, duty, and diſcretion! i. 379. [ii. 70].
Love is a paſſion that often begins in folly, or thought⯑leſſneſs, and carried on with perverſeneſs, i. 385. [ii. 76].
Love is as buſy as a Monkey, and as miſchievous as a School-boy, ſays Miſs Howe, i. 385. [ii. 77].
Violent Love is a fervor, like all other fervors, that laſts but a little while, i. 385, 386. [ii. 77].
Love is generally founded on mere notional excel⯑lencies, i. 386. [ii. 77].
Time and diſcretion will enable a woman to get over a firſt paſſion, i. 405. [ii. 95].
Love that deſerves the name, obliges the Lover to ſeek the ſatisfaction of the beloved object, more than his own, ii. 26. iii. 82. [ii. 119. iii. 222].
True Love is ever accompanied with fear and reve⯑rence, ii. 93. [182].
A quarrel, ſays Lovelace, has ſometimes its conve⯑niencies in Love, ii. 169. [243].—And more or leſs, adds he, all Lovers quarrel, iii. 261. [iv. 48].
Love is a fleeting thing, little better than a name, where morality or virtue does not diſtinguiſh the object of it, ii. 169. [255].
Silent awe, the humble, doubting eye, and even the heſitating voice, are the natural indications of true and reſpectful Love, ii. 285. [iii. 24].
True Love is fearful of offending, ii. 335. [iii. 71].
[153] Weakneſs, Lovelace ſays, is the true name for Love, ii. 347. [iii. 82].
All the world is ready to excuſe a fault owing to Love, becauſe all the world is apt to be miſled by it, ibid.
Love was ever a traitor to its harbourer, Lovel. ii. 353. [iii. 88].
Love is not naturally a doubter, ii. 385. [iii. 119].
That avow'd Love which is follow'd by marriage, however headſtrong and indiſcreet, will have more ex⯑cuſes made for it than generally it ought to find, iii. 62. [204].
It is all over with reaſoning Ladies, Lovelace ſays, when once Love gets into their heads, iii. 181. [316].
Platonic Love is Platonic Nonſenſe, iii. 357. [iv. 142].
A firſt paſſion thoroughly ſubdued, often makes the man a rover, the woman a tyranneſs, iii. 395. [iv. 179].
If Love is allowed to be an excuſe for the moſt un⯑reaſonable follies, what is meant by the doctrine of ſub⯑duing our paſſions? iv. 87. [280].
What muſt be that Love which has not ſome degree of purity for its object? ibid.
A worthy woman who conſents to marry, need not be urged explicitly to declare her Love, iv. 129. [326, 327].
The proof of true Love is reſpect, not freedom, iv. 129. [327].
Love is an encroacher: Love never goes backward. Nothing but the higheſt act of Love can ſatisfy an in⯑dulged Love, iv. 134. [331].
Love and Compaſſion are hard to be ſeparated, iv. 183. [v. 12].
Love is ſeldom the friend of Virtue, Lovel. iv. 188. [v. 18].
Love humanizes the fierceſt ſpirits, iv. 208. [v. 38].
Love is a fire that, if play'd with, will burn the fingers, iv. 209. [v. 39].
Love hardly ever was under the dominion of prudence, or of any reaſoning power, Lovel. v. 17. [263].
What once a woman hopes in Love matters, ſhe always hopes while there is room for hope, Lovel. vi. 32. [361].
[154] Reſpectful Love is an inſpirer of actions worthy of itſelf, vi. 96. [vii. 9].
As the graces of the mind are improveable in every added year of life, which will impair the tranſitory ones of perſon, upon what a firm baſis does that man build his Love, who admires a woman for the former more than for the latter! vii. 113. [viii. 33].
Love will draw an Elephant thro' a key-hole, vii. 226. [viii. 149].
Love not always admits of an air of even due dignity to the object of it, vii. 244. [viii. 168].
A firſt Love overcome, makes a perſon indifferent to a ſecond, vii. 254. [viii. 179].
WE wiſh, in compliment to our own ſagacity, to be confirmed in our firſt-ſighted impreſſions, i. 268. [277]. But few firſt-ſighted impreſſions ought to be encouraged, i. 304. [315].
Shall it be ſaid of any young Lady, that the powers of fancy are too hard for her duty and prudence? iii. 247. [iv. 34].
All women, from the Counteſs to the Cook-maid, are put into high good humour with themſelves, when a man is taken with them at firſt Sight, Lovel. iv. 328. [v. 165].
And be ſhe ever ſo plain, ſhe will find twenty good reaſons to defend the judgment of ſuch a man, ibid.
THE Lover gains a great point when he can bring a young Lady to correſpond with him privately, and againſt prohibition, i. 59. [61].
When a Lover is eaſy, he is ſure, ibid.
Lovers diſpoſed to write upon a plaintive ſubject, will often make their Ladies cruel, when they only ought to be ſo, and are not, Lovel. i. 190. [198].
The tempers of Lovers, whether gentle or ungentle, are to be found out by the manner of their addreſs in courtſhip, i. 192. [200].
[155] The man who ſhews tenderneſs for the calamities of others, gives a moral aſſurance that he will make a good huſband, i. 259. [268].
A woman can have but ſmall hopes of a Lover, over whom his own worthy relations can have no influence, i. 263. [272].
The ſmall ſtill voice of ſupplication, denotes and be⯑comes the modeſt Lover, i. 377. [ii. 68].
A Lady can hardly ever eſteem as a huſband, the man whom as a Lover ſhe deſpiſes, ii. 41. [133].
How pleaſantly can a falſe Lover paſs his time, while the gentle boſom of a Lady heaves with pity for his ſup⯑poſed ſufferings for her! ii. 64. [155].
A bluſtering braving Lover cannot deſerve encourage⯑ment, ii. 93. [182].
A Lover has not a right to be diſpleaſed with a Lady on her ſide of the ſolemnity, ii. 214. [298].
It is better for a Lady, that her Lover ſhould go away diſpleaſed with her, than that he ſhould leave her diſſa⯑tisfied with herſelf, ii. 220. [304].
A generous Lover muſt ſeek to oblige the object of his love in every thing eſſential to her honour, and peace of mind, ii. 270. [iii. 10].
When people ſet out wrong together, it is very dif⯑ficult to avoid recrimination, iii. 2. [147].
The more ardent the man is while a Lover, the more indifferent, very probably, will he be when a huſband, iii. 29. [172].
Lovers chuſe to be alone, and are aſhamed to have even a child preſent, to witneſs to their fooliſh actions, and more fooliſh expreſſions, iv. 150. [348].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Duty. Love. Marriage. Parents and Children.
STEADINESS of mind, when it ſinks not into obſtina⯑cy, is a high virtue, which when tried and known, [...] a perſon above the attempts of the meanly machinating, i. 122. [126, 127].
[156] To hope for better days is half to deſerve them; for could we have ground for ſuch a hope, if we did not reſolve to merit what it bids us aſpire to? ii. 58. [149].
Some men behave as if they thought bluſter was Mag⯑nanimity, ii. 108. [196].
A man ſometimes by braving a danger, eſcapes it, ii. 272. [iii. 11].
To exert ſpirit only where it is laudably call'd for, is the true Magnanimity, ii. 356. [iii. 91].
Hope is the cordial that keeps life from ſtagnating, iii. 129. [266].
How glorious is it for a woman reduced to the greateſt diſtreſs by an ungrateful Lover to ſay, as Clariſſa does, ‘"You, Sir, I thank you, have lower'd my fortunes; but, I bleſs God, my mind is not ſunk with my for⯑tunes: It is, on the contrary, raiſed above Fortune, and above you,"’ iv. 294. [v. 129].
He who loves Bravery in a man, ought to admire Fortitude in a woman, v. 141. [vi. 43].
Little do thoſe know the force of innate principles, who imagine, that penury, or a priſon, can bring a right⯑turn'd mind to be guilty of a baſeneſs, in order to avoid ſhort liv'd evils, v. 23, 24. [352].
Great ſentiments uttered with dignity by a good per⯑ſon, gives, as it were, a viſibility to the ſoul, vi. 24. [352].
The ſinner in his laſt hours will be generally found to be the real coward, the ſaint in his the true hero, vi. 59. [390].
The woman who can, for virtue's, and for honour's ſake, ſubdue a paſſion which it is in her power to gratify, merits every-thing next to adoration, vi. 311. [vii. 238].
See Friendſhip. Goodneſs.
EXALTED qualities may be ſunk in a low and unequal Marriage, i. 84. [87].
A ſingle Lady, who can be brought but to balance on the change of her ſtate, may be eaſily determined by the glare and ſplendor of the nuptial preparations, and the pride of becoming the miſtreſs of a family, i. 130. [135].
[157] It is neither juſt nor honeſt to marry where there can be no love, i. 183. [190].
Women ſhould be allowed to judge of the perſon with whom they can or cannot live happily, i. 199. [207].
It is dreadful, as well as diſhoneſt, to marry a man in hopes of his death, ibid.
Marriage, with the beſt proſpects, is a very ſolemn engagement: Enough to make a young creature's heart ake, when ſhe thinks ſeriouſly of it, Cl. i. 200. [207].
Marry firſt, and love will come after, is a ſhocking aſſertion; ſince a thouſand things may happen to make the ſtate but barely tolerable, when it is entered into with mutual affection, i. 200. [208].
How unhappy muſt be that Marriage, in which the huſband can have no confidence in the love of his wife! ibid.
The woman who has a competency of her own, makes but an ill compliment to herſelf, when ſhe changes her condition for ſuperfluities, if ſhe has not ſuperior or ſtronger motives, i. 205. [213].
Honeymoon laſts now-a-days but a fortnight, Ant. Harlowe, i. 214. [222].
A prudent man will not wiſh to marry a woman who has not a heart to give, i. 219. [227].
How much eaſier and pleaſanter is it for a woman to obey the man of her choice, than one ſhe would not have had, could ſhe have avoided it, i. 261. [270].
No matter whom that woman marries, who has a ſlight notion of the matrimonial duty, i. 340. [ii. 32].
That woman, who accompanies to the Altar a man to whom ſhe is averſe, will find it difficult, afterwards, if ſhe prefers her own peace of mind, to avoid the ne⯑ceſſity of playing the hypocrite with him, i. 373. [ii. 65].
Thoſe who marry from motives of convenience and duty, are generally more happy than thoſe who marry for love, i. 385. [ii. 76].
Perſons of diſcretion, ſays Miſs Howe, are apt to con⯑ſider too much to marry, ii. 49. [141].
Invectives againſt Marriage are a reflection upon the laws and good order of ſociety, and upon a man's own [158] anceſtors; and are more inexcuſeable in men of family, than in others, ii. 88. [178].
A choice made by what is called Love, is feldom durably happy: becauſe Love generally exalts the ob⯑ject above its merits, and makes the Lover blind to faults, which, on a nearer intimacy, are ſo obvious, that both parties often wonder how they could be ſo groſsly cheat⯑ed, ii. 169. [255].
It is abſolutely neceſſary, to complet happineſs in the married ſtate, ſays Lovelace, that one ſhould be a fool: But then that fool ſhould know the other's ſupe⯑riority, otherwiſe the obſtinate one would diſappoint the wiſe one, ii. 388. [iii. 121].
A man of ſpirit would not marry a Princeſs, if he thought ſhe but balanced a moment in her choice of him or of an Emperor, Lovel. iii. 30. [173].
The man who knows it to be in his power to marry, yet delays, or reſignedly leaves it to the woman to name the day, is to be both ſuſpected and deſpiſed, iii. 100. 176, 177, 178. [240. 311. 313].
Marriage is the higheſt ſtate of friendſhip: If happy, it leſſens our cares, by dividing them, at the ſame time that it doubles our pleaſures by mutual participation, iii. 152. [288].
Stings of conſcience, from a wrong behaviour in a firſt Marriage, may poſſibly make the faulty perſon to⯑lerable in a ſecond, iii. 321. [iv. 106].
It is the moſt cruel of fates for a woman to be forced to marry a man whom ſhe in her heart deſpiſes, iii. 328. [iv. 112].
The queerneſſes which old Antony Harlowe ſays he has ſeen in families, where the man and wife lived upon the beſt terms, made him loth to marry, iii. 373. [iv. 157].
Marriage is a ſtate that ought not to be entered into with indifference on either ſide, iv. 20. [208].
Large ſettlements in Marriage make a woman inde⯑pendent, and a rebel of courſe, Lovel. iv. 50. [247].
In unequal Marriages, thoſe frequently incur cenſure, who, more happily yoked, might be intitled to praiſe, iv. 375. [v. 214].
It is happy for giddy men, as well as for giddy wo⯑men, [159] in common caſes, that ceremony and parade are neceſſary to Wedlock, v. 99. [351].
Let a man do what he will by a ſingle woman, the world is encouragingly apt to think Marriage a ſufficient amends, v, 149. [vi. 52]. a.
What is that injury, on this principle infers Lovelace, which a Church rite will not at any time repair? ibid. a.
Marriage, ſays Lovelace, is a true dramatic recom⯑pence for the worſt that can be done to a woman? v. 313. [vi. 227]. a.
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Huſband and Wife. Love. Lover.
JUDGMENTS of perſons tempers are to be made by their domeſtic behaviour, and by their treatment of their Servants, i. 62. 207. [64. 215].
Servants ſhould take care, if there are any young La⯑dies where they live, how they make parties, or aſſiſt in clandeſtine correſpondencies, i. 155. [161].
Policy, as well as generoſity, will induce Maſters and Miſtreſſes to repoſe a confidence in their Servants, ii. 59. [150].
People in low ſtations have often minds not ſordid, ibid.
Take number for number, there are more honeſt low people, than high, ibid.
Many Servants will ſcorn to deceive a confidence, ibid.
That Servant cannot have ſound principles, who can allow herſelf to ſay, that her Miſtreſs ſhall not ſuſpect her for nothing, ibid.
A Maſter's communicativeneſs to his Servants, is a [160] means for an enemy to come at his ſercrets, ii. 226. [309].
The Servants of people of quality generally talk of their Maſter's pedigree and deſcent, with as much pride as if they were related to him, iii. 13. v. 120. [iii. 157. vi. 22].
Servants ſeldom keep their Maſter's ſecrets from one another, be thoſe ſecrets of ever ſo much importance to their Maſter, iii. 13. [157].
Servants are generally worſe to have concerns with, than their Principals, iii. 35. [180].
The greateſt plagues people of condition meet with, proceed from the Servants they take with a view to leſ⯑ſen their cares, iv. 18. [205].
Servants will be apt to take liberties with thoſe Ma⯑ſters who employ them in a way that their duty will not warrant, iv. 312. [v. 147].
Servants united in one cauſe, are intimate the moment they ſee one another, iv. 329. [v. 165, 166].
They know immediately the kin, and the kin's kin, of each other, tho' diſperſed over the three kingdoms, as well as the genealogies and kin's kin of thoſe whom they ſerve, iv. 329. [v. 166].
See Lovelace's opinion of Servants, vi. 261. [vii. [182-185].
Mild and humane-temper'd Maſters are ſeldom duly obſerved by their Servants, vi. 250. [vii. 172, 173].
Servants often make excuſes for faults with ſuch looks, as ſhew they believe not what they themſelves ſay, vi. 250. [vii. 173].
It becomes not gentlemen to treat with inſolence peo⯑ple who by their ſtations are humbled beneath their feet, ibid.
A Maſter owes protection to the meaneſt of his houſe⯑hold, vi. 251. [vii. 173].
He that rewards well, and puniſhes ſeaſonably and properly, will be well ſerved, vi. 260. [vii. 183].
The art of governing the under-bred lies more in looks than in words, ibid.
The Maſter who pays not his Servants duly, or in⯑truſts them with ſecrets, lays himſelf at their mercy, ibid.
[161] Wit in a Servant, except to his companions, is ſauci⯑neſs, Lovel. vi. 261. [vii. 184].
If a Servant ventures to expoſtulate upon a ſuppoſed unreaſonable command, he ſhould wait for a proper ſea⯑ſon, and do it with humility and reſpect, ibid.
See Generoſity. Goodneſs.
TEMPERS that will bear much, will have much to bear, i. 29. 48. 50. 121. ii. 86. 246. 397. [i. 30. 50. 52. 126. ii. 175. 329. iii. 130].
The gentleſt ſpirits, when provoked, are uſually the moſt determined, i. 83. See alſo i. 48. [i. 86. See alſo i. 50].
The man of temper is moſtly the truly brave man, i. 368. [ii. 60].
Meekneſs of diſpoſition, and ſervility of heart, are very diſtinct qualities, i. 204. ii. 108. [i. 212. ii. 196].
Meekneſs and Patience are characteriſtic virtues in a woman, iii. 29. iv. 32. [iii. 172. iv. 220].
Preſence of mind, on arduous occaſions, is very con⯑ſiſtent with Meekneſs, iv. 356. [v. 194].
Meekneſs of temper ſhewn by a perſon defending her unjuſtly-queſtioned character, demonſtrates a greatneſs of mind, ſuperior, in that inſtance, to that of the cenſurer, v. 272. [vi. 182].
Meek men abroad are not always meek men at home, vi. 81, 82. [414].
And if they were, ſays Miſs Howe, I ſhould not, I verily think, like them the better for their meekneſs, vi. 82. [414].
Affability, Gentleneſs, Meekneſs, are the characteriſtics of a real fine Lady, vii. 251. 254. [viii. 178].
See Goodneſs. Violent Spirits.
ALL that dangling fellows are good for, ſays Miſs Howe, is to give Women an air of vanity and aſſured⯑neſs in public places, i. 314. [ii. 4].
Heroes have their Fits of fear, Cowards their brave [162] moments, and virtuous Women their moments critical, Lovel. iv. 164. [364].
It is not fit, Lovelace ſays, that at any age, or in any ſtation of life, a Woman ſhould be independent, iv. 224. [v. 61].
Girls who are quite diſengaged, ſeldom hate, though they may not love, iv. 302. [v. 137].
A Woman generally deſpiſes the man ſhe governs, v. 13. [259].
A Man of honour will not exculpate himſelf by load⯑ing a Woman, vi. 9. [336].
Men are known by their companions, vi. 33. [362].
So ſenſible, and ſo ſilly at the ſame time! what a various, what a fooliſh creature is Man! vii. 28. [367].
A Woman of eighteen, Miſs Howe takes upon her to ſay (look the world thro'), is more prudent and con⯑verſable than a Man at twenty-five, vii. 290. [viii. 202].
Thoſe Women who take delight in writing, generally excel the Men in all the graces of the familiar ſtyle, vii. 276. [viii. 216].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Duty. Friend⯑ſhip. Love. Marriage.
THERE cannot be a greater ſign of want of Merit, than when a man ſeeks to pull down another's character, in order to build up his own, ii. 126, 127. [214].
Perſons of Merit have a right to all the benefits con⯑ferred upon them, iii. 13. [157].
There may be a Worthineſs and Merit ſo ſuperior, as will put envy itſelf to ſilence, iii. 275. [iv. 62].
It is preſumption to expect tokens of value, without reſolving to deſerve them, iv. 20. [208].
We ſhould endeavour to like and diſlike according to the real Merit or Demerit of the object, iv. 87. [280].
Great Merit is coy. Coyneſs has not always its foun⯑dation in pride, vii. 32. [372].
See Goodneſs. Praiſe.
GREAT conſequences, like great folks, ſometimes owe their greatneſs to ſmall cauſes, and little incidents, ii. 305. [iii. 43].
In all matters that admit of doubt or jealouſy, the ſmalleſt circumſtances are of more importance than the ſtrongeſt aſſeverations, iii. 43. [185].
Great engines are frequently moved by ſmall ſprings, iv. 143. [341].
The minuteſt circumſtances are often of great ſervice in matters of the laſt importance, v. 113. [vi. 14].
The Minutiae are of conſequence to be attended to in all critical undertakings, v. 179. [vi. 83].
Minuteneſſes may be obſerved, where greater articles are not neglected for them, vi. 378. [vii. 309].
A MODEST perſon challenged will be diffident, tho' innocent, i. 60. [63].
The Bold and Forward, not being ſenſible of defects, aſſume, while the Modeſty of the really worthy man permits him not to explain himſelf, i. 83. [87].
Why ſhould a perſon who delights to find out what is praiſe-worthy in another, be ſuppoſed ignorant of his own worth? i. 374. [ii. 66].
A modeſt Woman will not deſpiſe thoſe who have not every fine quality that may be conſpicuous in her⯑ſelf? ibid.
A modeſt Lady, who throws herſelf into the power of a Rake, is very unequal to the adventure, iii. 24. 324. [iii. 167. iv. 109].
A modeſt man has generally a treaſure in his mind, that requires only the key of encouragement to unlock it, to make him ſhine, iii. 58. [200, 201].
Shall not a modeſt woman wiſh to conſort with a modeſt man, before whom, and to whom, ſhe may open her lips, ſecure of his good opinion of all ſhe ſays, and which therefore muſt inſpire her with an agreeable con⯑fidence? iii. 58. [201].
[164] A truly modeſt woman may make even an audacious man keep his diſtance, iv. 46. [236, 237].
Rakiſh hearts can no more taſte the beauty and deli⯑cacy of modeſt obligingneſs, than of modeſt love. vi. 60. [390].
Modeſt or diffident men wear not ſoon off thoſe little preciſeneſſes, which the aſſured, if ever they had them, preſently get over, vi. 71. [402].
Well may women, ſays Miſs Howe, who are fond of Libertines, be the ſport and ridicule of ſuch—Would not a very little reflexion teach us, that a man of Merit muſt be a man of Modeſty? vi. 83. [415].
The characteriſtic of Virgin Modeſty, adorned by conſcious dignity, is, freedom and reſerve happily blend⯑ed, vi. 280. [vii. 205].
A modeſt man ſhould no more be made little in his own eyes, than in the eyes of others. If he be, he will have a diffidence which will give aukwardneſs to every⯑thing he ſays or does, vi. 304. [vii. 230].
See Advice to Women. Bluſhes. Delicacy.
To oblige in the fact, and diſoblige in the manner, is obliging by halves, ii. 199. [284].
An obliging temper is evermore diſobliging itſelf, ii. 239. [322].
He that can oblige, can diſoblige. It is happy for ſome people, that they have it not in their power to of⯑fend, Miſs Howe, ii. 302. [iii. 40].
Perſons in a ſtate of Obligation muſt not complain, ii. 310. [iii. 47].
How precious, to a beneficent mind, is the power of obliging! ibid.
It is good to be eaſy of perſuaſion, in matters where one can oblige without endangering virtue and worthy habits, vii. 295. [viii. 221].
See Friendſhip. Generoſity.
PERVERSENESS will both miſcall and miſinterpret, i. 210. [217, 218].
It is better to be thought perverſe, than inſincere, i. 306. [318].
Frowardneſs often makes a girl object to propoſals that come firſt from a parent or guardian, and for no other reaſon, ii. 77. [167].
Pert, women-grown daughters think their parents old, yet pay them not the reverence due to their years, iii. 375. [iv. 159].
To argue with a man who is convinced he is doing a wrong thing, is but to make him ingenious to find out excuſes for himſelf, and to harden his heart, iv. 364. [v. 203].
Men give not eaſily up what they have ſet their hearts upon, be it ever ſo unreaſonable to be carried, v. 393. [vi. 312].
Obſtinacy and implacableneſs are bad ſigns in a per⯑ſon declining in health, vi. 44. [374].
A pert daughter gives fair warning to a lover, of proving an unmanageable wife, vii. 245. [viii. 169].
See Duty. Parents and Children.
WHO will wonder at the intrigues and plots carried on by undermining courtiers againſt one another, when private families cannot be free from them? i. 80. [83].
Every one can be good, who has no provocation to the contrary, i. 170. [176].
Prudence is too often called covetouſneſs; covetouſneſs, prudence; profligacy, gallantry, &c. i. 210. [217, 218].
Policy may make a man give up one half of his cha⯑racter to ſave the other half, when the diſcuſſion might tend to detect him of being generally wicked, i. 263. [273].
Over-doers frequently give the offence they mean to avoid, i. 317. [ii. 8].
[166] All extraordinaries will ſoon ſubſide, i. 370. [ii. 61].
If our hearts do not harden and contract, as we ex⯑perience ill-treatment from the world, we ſhall be upon very unequal terms with it, ii. 29. [121].
It is very difficult for a perſon who would avoid one extreme, to keep clear of another, ii. 73. [163].
What we moſt delight in, is often made the inſtru⯑ment of our puniſhment, ii. 159. [246].
He who will be bribed by one perſon to undertake a baſeneſs, will be over-bribed by another to retort it, ii. 371. [iii. 105].
To borrow of relations, is to ſubject one's ſelf to an inquiſition into one's life and actions, Lovel. ii. 389. [iii. 122].
Traders are dealers in pins, and will be more obliged by a penny-cuſtomer, than by a pound preſent, becauſe it is in their way; yet will refuſe neither, Lovel. iii. 16. iv. 327. [iii. 160. v. 164].
What likelihood is there of corrupting a man who has no ambition? iii. 18. [162].
The woman who will obſtinately vindicate a faulty ſtep in another, ſeems to indicate, that, in the like cir⯑cumſtances, ſhe would have been guilty of the ſame fault. iii. 55. [197].
All the animal creation is more or leſs in a ſtate of hoſtility, iii. 70. [211].
We are apt to regret what happens to our diſlike, yet know not whether we ſhould have been more happy in the enjoyment of our own wiſhes, iii. 134. [271].
There is hardly any thing that a man will ſcruple, who will break the ſeal of a letter not deſigned for him to to ſee, iii. 163. [299].
It is eaſier to perſiſt in a denial given, than to give it at firſt, iii. 206. [339].
Be the motives to exceſs what they will, exceſs is ex⯑ceſs, iii. 213. [345].
Moſt of the Troubles that fall to the lot of common mortals, ariſe either from their large deſires, or from their little deſerts, iii. 277. [iv. 63].
Never was there a cauſe ſo bad, but that either from pity to the offender, or ill-will to the injured, it found ſome advocates, iii. 350. [iv. 134].
[167] In the progreſs to any event we may have in view, our minds may be too much engaged to ſee things in the ſame light, in which they will appear to us when all obſtacles are removed, and we have nothing to do but to enuſe, iii. 366. [iv. 151].
All our purſuits, from childhood to manhood, are only trifles of different ſorts and ſizes, proportioned to our years and views, iv. 71. [263].
The lower claſs of people are ever aiming at the ſtu⯑pid wonderful, iv. 92. [286].
It is very eaſy for a perſon to part with a ſecondary appetite, when, by ſo doing, he can promote or gratify a firſt, iv. 121. [318].
All human good and evil is comparative, iv. 161. [361].
Ceremony is not civility. Civility is not ceremony, iv. 232. [v. 63].
The mixtures which agreeable things generally come to us with, are great abatements of the pleaſures they bring with them, iv. 281. [v. 115].
The greateſt acquiſition, even that of an imperial crown, is nothing, when a man has been ſome time uſed to it, iv. 324. [v. 161].
Appeals give pride and ſuperiority to the perſon ap⯑pealed to, and tend to leſſen the appellants even in their own eyes, iv. 370. [v. 208].
Oppoſition frequently coments friendſhip, and creates or confirms love, v. 9. [254].
A great difference will be generally found in the man⯑ners of the ſame man, as viſitor and inmate, v. 25. [272].
Every-body, and every-thing, has a black and a white ſide, of which both well-willers and ill-willers may make advantage, v. 251. 300. See alſo iv. 265. vi. 347. [vi. 159, 160. 212. See alſo v. 98. vii. 276].
Evils that are ſmall in the beginning, and only con⯑fined to a ſingle perſon, frequently ſpread, and involve whole families, v. 281. [vi. 192].
Words of reſpect may be ſo pronounced, as to mean indignation and inſult, v. 297. [vi. 209].
Thoſe who can leaſt bear a jeſt upon themſelves, [168] will be moſt diverted with one paſſed on others, vi. 230. [vii. 141].
A bad cauſe gives a man great diſadvantages, vi. 346. [vii. 274].
Uncommon minds can hardly avoid doing things out of the common way, vi. 380.
We muſt not expect that our roſes will grow without thorns; but then they are uſeful and inſtructive thorns, which, by pricking the fingers of the too haſty plucker, teach future caution, vi. 407. [vii. 339].
Difficulty gives poignancy to our enjoyments. Thoſe which are eaſily obtained, generally loſe their reliſh with us, vi. 407. [vii. 339, 340].
The abſent generally bear the load, when the blame is apparently due ſomewhere, vii. 18, 19. [347].
Actual diſtraction (take it out of its lucid intervals) muſt be an happier ſtate, than the ſtate of ſuſpenſe and anxiety which brings it on, vii. 24. [363].
Reſolutions depending upon future contingencies, are beſt left to future determinations, vii. 236. [viii. 160].
The greateſt puniſhment that can be inflicted on us, would often be the grant of our own wiſhes, vii. 257. [viii. 182].
Free-will enables us to do every-thing well; while reſtraint and impoſition make a light burden heavy, vii. 291. [viii. 217].
BY Frugality we are enabled to be both juſt and ge⯑nerous, iii. 373. [iv. 158].
Without Oeconomy no eſtate is large enough; with it, the leaſt is not too ſmall, iv. 113. [309].
The man who runs away from his accounts, will in time be glad that he could run away from himſelf, vi. 17. [345].
Frugality is a neceſſary virtue, niggardlineſs an odious vice, vii. 281. [viii. 206].
It is incredible what may be done by early riſing, and by long days well fill'd up, vii. 290. [viii. 217].
Perſons who riſe early, and make good uſe of their [169] hours, may be ſaid to have lived more years at ſixteen, than ſome others at twenty-ſix, vii. 291. [viii. 217].
Thoſe who keep not a ſtrict account, ſeldom keep any, vii. 295. [viii. 221].
A GOOD perſon will not palliate with a view to de⯑ceive, ii, 166. [252].
Artful Evaſions are unworthy of a frank and open heart, iii. 60. [202].
It is no wonder, that he who can ſit down premedi⯑tatedly to do a bad action, will content himſelf with a bad excuſe, vi. 58. [388, 389].
No Palliation ought to be made for wilful and pre⯑meditated vileneſs, vii. 275. [viii. 200].
SEVERITY in ſome caſes is clemency, i. 49. [51].
Needleſs watchfulneſs, and undue reſtraint, often pro⯑duce artifice and contrivance, i. 51. [53].
Parents, by violently fighting againſt a Lover, fre⯑quently fight for him, i. 54. 167. 192. ii. 137. [i. 61. 173. 200. ii. 224].
Daughters, ſays James Harlowe, are chickens brought up for a ſtranger's table, i. 71. [73].
Moſt unhappy is the ſituation of that worthy Child, who is obliged, in her own defence, to expoſe a Pa⯑rent's failings, i. 80. 173. [83. 180].
It is impolitic in Parents to join two people in one intereſt, whom they wiſh for ever to keep aſunder, i. 82. [85, 86].
Tho' the parental authority ſhould be deemed ſacred, yet Parents ſhould have reaſon in what they do, i. 84. [87].
Where the heart of a Child is ſought to be engaged, the eye ought not to be diſguſted, i. 97. [101].
A worthy Daughter would rather wiſh to appear ami⯑able in the eyes of her own Friends and Relations, than in thoſe of all the world beſides, i. 159. [165].
[170] Diſgraceful treatment will often bring about the very end which it is intended to fruſtrate, i. 183. 266. vii. 255. [i. 190. 276. viii. 179].
In family contentions, when every expedient to bring about a reconciliation is tried, whatever be the event, the perſon ſo trying has the leſs to blame herſelf for, i. 185. ii. 308. [ii. 192. iii. 45].
How much greater muſt be the comfort of that young woman in an unhappy marriage, who can reflect, that ſhe followed the advice of her Friends, and owes not her unhappineſs to her own headſtrong will! i. 256. ii. 170. [i. 265. ii. 256].
The difference between the hard uſage a Child re⯑ceives from a ſevere Parent, and the obſequious regard paid to her by a flattering Lover, is enough to make her run all riſks with the latter, in order to get out of the hands of the former, i. 262. 264. [272. 274].
Parents ſometimes make not thoſe allowances for Youth, which, when young, they wiſh'd to be made for themſelves, i. 386, 387. [ii. 78].
Parents muſt not always expect, that advice ſhould have the ſame force upon their Children, as experience has upon themſelves, i. 388. [ii. 79].
In giving advice, and remonſtrating, Parents and Guardians ſhould proceed by patient reaſoning and gentle⯑neſs, that they may not harden where they wiſh to con⯑vince, ibid.
Unkind circumſtances on the Parents part, and heed⯑leſs ones on the Child's, in a debate where both mean well, will make ſmall differences great ones, ibid.
A Parent, by forcing a Child to marry the man ſhe hates, may occaſion an utter diſſipation of the Child's morals, and, of conſequence, her everlaſting perdition, i. 405. [ii. 95].
Averſion in a Child ſhould be diſtinguiſhed from wil⯑fulneſs, ii. 94. [183].
Strings that are overſtrained muſt either be relaxed or break, ii. 157. [243].
The time may come for a Child to conſider, as the higheſt benefit to herſelf, thoſe meaſures of a Parent which at preſent ſhe may think grievous, ii. 172. [258].
[171] The more obſtinate a Child is in her oppoſition to a Parent's will, the more will a Parent be apt to think his authority concerned to carry his point, ii. 182. [267].
Harſh and cruel treatment humbles a Child, and makes her ſeem cheap in her own eyes, ii. 190. [277].
Is ſhe not then in the way to become the eaſy prey of a man whom otherwiſe ſhe would have deſpiſed?
If Parents, by appeals or otherwiſe, needleſsly expoſe a Child, ſhe will be apt to think, that, do what ſhe will, ſhe cannot incur more diſgrace than ſhe already labours under, ii. 192. [277].
To endeavour to force a free mind, is to diſhonour it, ii. 140. [277].
It is better for a good Child to be able to ſay, her Parents were unkind to her, than that ſhe was undutiful to them, ii. 286. See alſo i. 121. [iii. 25. See alſo i. 125].
The exertion of a ſeaſonable lenity may ſave a peni⯑tent Child from utter deſtruction, ii. 311. 382. iv. 156. v. 222. vii. 5. [iii. 49. 116. iv. 355. vi. 128. vii. 343].
The Father and Mother who would ſecure to them⯑ſelves the undivided love of their Children, ſhould avoid ſuch durable contentions with each other, as would diſtreſs their Children which ſide to take, when they would be glad to reverence both, iii. 46. [189].
A good Parent muſt have greater pain in the neceſſary reſtraint of a headſtrong Daughter, than ſhe can give to ſuch a Daughter, iii. 56. [198]
At every age on this ſide matrimony it will be found, that a Parent's wings are the moſt effectual ſafeguards of Daughters, from the villainous birds of prey that hover round them, iii. 56. [198, 199].
A Parent, for a failure in her own duty, is not an⯑ſwerable to her Child, iii. 57. [199].
Reverence is too apt to be forgot by Children, when Parents forget what belongs to their own characters, iii. 377. [iv. 161].
Parents and Children, when ſeparated, and ſeeing each other but ſeldom, like other lovers, ſhew their beſt ſides to each other, iii. 388. [iv. 172].
The bad qualities in which fond Parents too often [172] indulge their Children when infants, not ſeldom, at riper years, prove the plague of their hearts, iv. 281. [v. 115].
It is as neceſſary to direct Daughters in the choice of their female companions, and to watch againſt the in⯑trigues of women-ſervants, as it is to guard them againſt the deſigns of men, Lovel. v. 11, 12. [257, 258].
Parents the moſt indulgent in their own natures, often, from the errors of a Child, incur the cenſure of hard⯑heartedneſs, v. 221. [vi. 128].
Doubly faulty is that Child, therefore, who, by a raſh action, not only diſgraces herſelf, but depreciates the moſt revered characters, ibid.
What confuſion of mind muſt attend the reflexions of a Child, who, from the moſt promiſing outſetting, has brought ruin on herſelf, and diſtreſs on her Friends! ibid.
The voice of nature muſt at laſt be heard in favour of a Child truly penitent, v. 223. vi. 371. [vi. 130. vii. 301].
When a Daughter is ſtrongly ſet upon a point; it is better for a Mother (if the point be of no high conſe⯑quence) to make herſelf of her party, than violently to oppoſe her, v. 281. [vi. 192].
Parents ſhould take care that they do not weaken their authority, by a needleſs exertion of it, v. 399. [vi. 318].
What an enormity is there in that crime of a Child, which can turn the hearts of Parents, before indulgent, againſt her! vi. 20. [348].
The reſentment which Children, and even the world, may aſcribe to cruelty in an offended Parent, may be owing to exceſs of love, and diſappointed hopes, vi. 26. [348].
It is to be hoped, ſays Miſs Howe, that unforgiving Parents were always good, dutiful, and paſſive Children to their Parents, vi. 75. [407].
Parents who would cure a Child's impatience of ſpi⯑rit, ſhould not betray a want of temper in themſelves, ibid.
Children, depending on the weakneſs of their Parents tempers, too ofen harden their own hearts, vi. 119. [vii. 33].
While Parents think a Child in fault, as they have a [173] right to judge for themſelves, they ought to have great allowances made for them; eſpecially if, till their diſpleaſure took place, they had always been kind and indulgent, vi. 128. [vii. 43].
Good Children make both their Parents happy in each other, as well as in them; bad Children unhappy in both, vi. 126. [vii. 43, 44].
When the neareſt Friends give up an unhappy Child, every one is ready to propagate ſlander againſt her, vi. 188. [vii. 107].
A good Child will be careful of making a party againſt even harſh and ſevere Parents, vi. 287. [vii. 212].
It requires a high degree of underſtanding and diſcre⯑tion in a Daughter, when grown up, to let it be ſeen that ſhe mingles reverence with her love to a Parent, who has talents viſibly inferior to her own, vii. 245. [viii. 169].
Parents, in order to preſerve their Children's venera⯑tion for them, ſhould take great care not to let them ſee any thing in their own conduct, behaviour, or principles, which they themſelves would not approve of in others, ibid.
Such Parents as have a viſible narrowneſs of heart, muſt needs weaken their own authority with Children of ſpirit, vii. 246. [viii. 170].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Controul. Duty. Love. Lover. Marriage.
MEN frequently give advice to others, when con⯑ſulted, with an indirect view to ſomething ſimilar in their own caſe, i. 59, 60. [62].
Good-will, or Love, is often blind to real imperfections, i. 120. [124].
We are apt to praiſe our benefactors, becauſe they are our benefactors; as if every body did right or wrong, as they obliged or diſobliged us, i. 148. [153].
We ſhould endeavour to judge of ourſelves, and of every-thing that affects us, as we may reaſonably imagine others will judge of us, and of our actions, i. 175. [181].
[174] Were each perſon to tell his own ſtory, and to be be⯑lieved, there would not be a guilty perſon in the world, i. 243. [252].
No one ſhould plead the errors of another, in juſtifi⯑cation of his own, i. 391. [ii. 82].
Human nature, ſenſible of its own defects, loves to be correcting; but chuſes rather to turn its eye outward than inward, iii. 59. [201].
We often look into ourſelves with a reſolution not fairly to try, but to acquit ourſelves, iii. 123. [261].
It is difficult for a woman to ſubſcribe to a preference againſt herſelf in love-caſes, tho' ever ſo viſible, iii. 172. [308].
Poor arguments will do, when brought in favour of what we like, iii. 344. [iv. 127].
An artful man, bringing a caſe home to the paſſions or intereſt of his judges, will be likely to ſucceed where he ought not, iv. 263. [v. 96].
That cauſe muſt be well tried, where the offender takes his ſeat upon the ſame bench with the judge, iv. 346. [v. 184].
Whatever qualities we wiſh to find in one we love, we are ready to find, v. 58. [307].
Self-Partiality is a dangerous miſleader, v. 223. [vi. 130].
An impartial ſpirit, having run into a puniſhable error, will not forgive itſelf, tho' its friends ſhould for⯑give it, v. 267. [vi. 177].
Thoſe leaſt bear diſappointment, who love moſt to give it, v. 363. vi. 384. [vi. 280. vii. 315].
Many men are apt to take their meaſures of right and wrong from what they themſelves are, and cannot help being, vi. 96. [vii. 8].—
So aukwardneſs may be a perfection with the auk⯑ward, ibid.
It is difficult to go out of ourſelves to give a judg⯑ment againſt ourſelves; and yet oftentimes, to paſs a juſt judgment; we ought, vi. 184. [vii. 103].
Suffering perſons are apt to be partial to their own cauſe and merits, vi. 368. [vii. 298].
It is far from being difficult for a worthy heart to re⯑ject [175] ject the man (however once favoured) whoſe actions it deſpiſes, vi. 405. [vii. 338].
See Prepoſſeſſion.
THE command of her Paſſions was Clariſſa's glory, and is one of the greateſt glories of the human mind, i. 262. 266, 267. [272. 276].
The Manners and Paſſions of men and women are to be ſeen in miniature during their childhood, i. 310. [ii. 9, 10].
If the iraſcible paſſions cannot be overcome, how ſhall thoſe be ſubdued, to which bad habit, joined to greater temptation, gives ſtronger force? ii. 29. [122].
It is eaſy to make a paſſionate ſpirit anſwer all our views upon it, ii. 129. [216].
Turbulence and obſequiouſneſs, uſed in turn, keep a woman's Paſſions alive, and at laſt tire her into non⯑reſiſtance, Miſs Howe, iii. 127. [268].
People in a Paſſion, tho' within a few yards of each other, hollow like travellers who are got out of their way, and want to get into it again, iii. 132. [269, 270].
How univerſally engaging it is, ſays Lovelace, to put a woman of ſenſe in a Paſſion, let the reception given to the ranting ſcenes in plays teſtify, iii. 194. [328].
Thoſe Paſſions in women, which they take no pains to ſubdue, may have one and the ſame ſource [and ten⯑dency] with thoſe which hurry on the head-ſtrong and violent of the other Sex to the commiſſion of the moſt atrocious crimes, iii. 213. iv. 3. [iii. 345. iv. 190].
Paſſion gives bodily ſtrength; Fear takes it away, iii. 262. [iv. 51].
Paſſion diſtorts the features, and makes even an hand⯑ſome perſon ugly, iv. 7. [194].
The paſſions of the gentle, tho' ſlower to be moved than thoſe of the quick, are generally the moſt flaming when raiſed, iv. 16. [204].
It is both impudent and imprudent, ſays Lovelace, for a wife to be in a Paſſion, iv. 32. [220].
Paſſion and ill-will are dreadful miſrepreſenters, iv. 111. [307].
[176] Violence of Paſſion is too often admitted as a plea [at leaſt as an extenuation] for violence and indecency of action, both by the female ſex, and by the world, iv. 128. v. 149. [iv. 326. vi. 51, 52].
To be able to arreſt a woman's Paſſion in the height of its career [on an offence given to her modeſty] is, ſays Lovelace, a charming preſage, iv. 285. [v. 117].
A woman of a violent Spirit is often in more danger from an artful man, than one of a ſteadier diſpoſition, v. 8. [253, 254].
Paſſionate women have high pulſes, ſays Lovelace; and a clever fellow will make what ſport he pleaſes with them, v. 392. [vi. 311].
Who can account for the workings and ways of a paſ⯑ſionate and diſappointed woman? Lovel. vi. 12. [339].
Paſſion has different ways of working in different bo⯑ſoms, as humours or complexion induce, vi. 16. [344].
The Paſſions of the Female Sex, if naturally drawn, will diſtinguiſh themſelves from the maſculine Paſſions, by a ſoftneſs that will ſhine thro' rage and deſpair, vi. 204. [vii. 124].
See Anger. Violent Spirits.
PERSONS unaccuſtomed to controul, are impatient of controul, i. 5. [5].
If afflictions are ſent for corrective ends, Impatience may lead into more puniſhable errors, ii. 161. [247].
An impatient ſpirit ſubjects itſelf to deſerved humilia⯑tion, ii. 410. [iii. 142].
When a point is clear and ſelf-evident, it is difficult to find Patience, on being obliged to enter into an argument in proof of it, iii. 212, 213. See alſo i. 83. [iii. 344, 345. See alſo i. 86].
Patience and perſeverance are able to overcome the greateſt difficulties, iii. 262. [iv. 48].
No man ought to be impatient at imputations he is not aſhamed to deſerve, iv. 358. [v. 197].
An innocent man will not be outrageous upon reports made to his diſadvantage; a guilty man ought not, iv. 359. [v. 197].
[177] The injured has a right to upbraid; the injurer ought to be patient, v. 122, 123. [vi. 24].
Perſons who by their raſhneſs have made a breach in their duty, ſhould not enlarge it by their impatience, v. 221. [vi. 128].
Impatience is generally the child of ſelf-partiality, v. 223. [v. 130].
The perſon who is employed as a mediator, ſhould not be himſelf over-ready to take offence, vi. 10. 14. [337. 341].
People new to misfortune are often too eaſily moved to impatience, vi. 188. [vii. 107].
It is not juſt for two friends, more than for man and wife, to be out of Patience at one time, vi. 197. [vii. 117].
In a deep diſtreſs, a man of an impatient ſpirit is apt to think that every face, and even the face of nature, ſhould wear the marks of that woe which affects him, vii. 25. [364].
YOUTHS raw from the Colleges are not fit preſcribers to the gentler Sex, i. 182. [189].
Colleges are too often claſſes of tyrants, ibid.
Young men of ſhallow parts, juſt come from College, are apt to deſpiſe thoſe who cannot tell how an an⯑tient author expreſſed himſelf in Greek or Latin on a ſubject, upon which, however, they may know how, as well as the author, to expreſs themſelves in Engliſh, vi. 178. [vii. 96].
See Brand's Letters in the Hiſtory, Vol. vi. p. 356, & ſeq. Vol. vii. p. 40-57. [Vol. vii. p. 285-291. and 380-398].
PUNISH and preſcribe ſynonymous terms in Phyſic, iv. 39. [228].
Why, aſks Lovelace, when Phyſicians can do no good; will they not ſtudy to gratify rather than nauſeate the palate of their patients? ibid.
[178] It is ill jeſting with edged tools, and worſe with phy⯑ſical ones, Lovel. iv. 81. [274].
Thoſe who treat contemptuouſly the profeſſors of the art of healing, generally treat higher inſtitutions as light⯑ly, Clariſſa, iv. 86. [279].
Sharp or acute mental organs frequently whet out the bodily ones, v. 172. [vi. 76].
A generous Phyſician, where he is hopeleſs of doing good, will put on the Friend, and lay aſide the Doctor, v. 386. [vi. 305].
When phyſical men, ſays Belford, are at a loſs what to preſcribe to their patients, they inquire what it is they beſt like, or are moſt diverted with, and forbid them that, vi. 66. [397].
Phyſicians, to do credit to their ſkill, will ſometimes make a ſlight diſeaſe important, Lovel. vi. 201. [vii. 121].
We ought to begin early to ſtudy what our conſtitu⯑tions will bear, vi. 265. [vii. 189].
Phyſicians, when they find a caſe deſperate, ſhould generally decline the fee, vi. 266. [vii. 190].
Friendſhip and Phyſician are not abſolutely incom⯑patible, vi. 330. [vii. 258].
A ſkilful operator will endeavour to be intelligible, and, if honeſt, to make every one a judge of his practice, vii. 137. [viii. 57].
Generally, ſays Belford, when the Phyſician enters, the air is ſhut out, vii. 140. [viii. 61].
Quantity in diet is more to be regarded than quality, vii. 287. [viii. 213].
A full meal is a great enemy both to ſtudy and in⯑duſtry, ibid.
A worthy Phyſician will pay a regular and conſtant attendance upon his patient, watching with his own eyes every change, and every new ſymptom, of his malady, vii. 300. [viii. 227].
He will vary his applications as indications vary, ibid.
He will not fetter himſelf to rules laid down by the fathers of the art who lived many hundred years ago, when diſeaſes, and the cauſes of them, as alſo the modes [179] of living, and climates, and accidents, were different from what they are now, vii. 300. [viii. 227].
He ſhould not be greedy of fees; but proportion his expectation of reward to the good in his conſcience he thinks he does, ibid.
See Health. Vapours.
PITY is a good preparative to Love, i. 12. [12].
We ſhould ſhew Mercy or Lenity to unhappy per⯑ſons, whoſe calamities, in a like ſituation, might have been our own, i. 183. [190].
Diſgraces brought on perſons by themſelves ought not to be pitied, i. 214. [222].
In our attendances on a dying perſon, we pity him for what he ſuffers; and we pity ourſelves for what we muſt one day in like manner ſuffer; and ſo are doubly affected, ii. 39. [131].
The Pity which a raſh child often meets with, when ſhe has brought upon herſelf an irreparable evil, ſhould generally be tranferred to her parents and friends, iii. 292. [iv. 78, 79].
Pity from one often begets Pity from another, whe⯑ther the occaſion for it be either ſtrong or weak, iii. 357. [iv. 141].
God wants not any thing of us for Himſelf. He en⯑joins us works of mercy to one another, as the means to obtain his mercy, v. 192. [vi. 98].
The brave and the wiſe know both how to pity and excuſe, vii. 120. [viii. 39].
See Generoſity. Goodneſs. Magnanimity.
POLITENESS conſtrained, and not free, is to be ſuſpected, i. 61. [64].
A perſon may not be polite, and yet not characteriſti⯑cally unpolite, ii. 72. [163].
A manly ſincerity, and openneſs of heart, are very conſiſtent with true Politeneſs, ii. 331. [iii. 67].
Politeneſs is, on the man's part, neceſſary to gain a footing in a woman's heart: But Miſs Howe queſtions, [180] whether a little intermingled inſolence is not neceſſary to keep that footing, iii. 26. [170].
A man's morality is often the price paid for travelling accompliſhments, iii. 245. [iv. 32].
A polite man, reſpecting a Lady, will not treat con⯑temptuouſly any of her relations, iv. 139. [337].
Men of parts and fortune frequently behave as if they thought they need not be gentlemen, iv. 342. [v. 180].
Men in years too often think their age a diſpenſa⯑tion from Politeneſs, v. 179. [vi. 84].
Nothing can be polite, that is not juſt or good, v. 376. [vi. 294].
See Dreſs.
A MAN who thinks highly of himſelf, and lowly of his audience, is beſt qualified to ſpeak in public, iv. 51. [241].
An adminiſtration is entitled to every vote a man can, with a good conſcience, give it, ibid.
Drags ſhould not needleſly be put to the wheels of go⯑vernment, iv. 51. [242].
Neither can an oppoſition, neither can a miniſtry, be always wrong, ibid.
A plumb man muſt therefore mean more or worſe than he will own, ibid.
The leaſt trifles, ſays Lovelace, will ſet princes and children at loggerheads, iv. 119. [315].
THE Almighty is very gracious to his creatures, in that he make not much neceſſary to the ſupport of life; ſince three parts in four of them, if it were, would not know how to obtain that much, ii. 16. [110].
Poverty is the mother of health, ibid.
The pleaſures of the Mighty are obtain'd by the tears of the Poor, ii. 17. [110].
The man who is uſed to Poverty, and can enjoy it, not aiming to live better to-morrow, than he does to-day, [181] and did yeſterday, is above temptation, unleſs it comes cloathed to him in the guiſe of truth and truſt, Lovel. iii. 18. [162].
Were it not for the Poor, and the Middling, Lovelace ſays, the world would deſerve to be deſtroyed, iii. 186. [321].
Common or bred-beggars ſhould be left to the public proviſion, iv. 31. [219].
In the general ſcale of beings, the loweſt is as uſeful, and as much a link of the great chain, as the higheſt, vii. 272. [viii. 198].
EVERY one, more or leſs, loves Power, i. 120. [124].
Yet thoſe, who moſt wiſh for it, are ſeldom the fitteſt to be truſted with it, i. 120. vii. 20. [i. 124. vii. 358].
An honeſt man would not wiſh to have it in his Power to do hurt, iv. 158. [357].
Power is too apt to make men both wanton and wick⯑ed, iv. 158. v. 13. [iv. 357. v. 259].
If our Power to do good is circumſcribed, we ſhall have the leſs to anſwer for, iv. 220. [v. 51].
People who have money, or Power, never want aſ⯑ſiſtants, be their views ever ſo wicked, v. 113. [vi. 15].
Who that has it in his Power to gratify a predominant paſſion, be it what it will, denies himſelf the gratification of it? Lovel. vi. 92. [vii. 5].
Both Sexes too much love to have each other in their Power, vii. 20. [358].
Even women of ſenſe, ſays Colonel Morden, on Miſs Howe's behaviour to Mr. Hickman, are not to be truſted with too much Power, vii. 244. [viii. 168].
See Controul. Proſperity.
PRAISE being the reward for good deeds, and Diſ⯑praiſe the puniſhment for bad, they ought not to be con⯑founded in the application, i. 322. [ii. 13].
An ingenuous mind will haſten to intitle itſelf to the graces for which it is commended, if already it has them [182] not, i. 375. See alſo i. 89. and v. 224. [ii 67. See alſo i. 5. and vi. 131].
How ſoothing a thing is Praiſe from the mouth of thoſe we love! i. 375. [ii. 67].
Would every one give Praiſe and Diſpraiſe only where due, ſhame, if not principle, would mend the world, iii. 66. [208].
It is a degree of affectation to decline joining in the due Praiſe of our children, becauſe they are our own, iii. 285. [iv. 72].
Thoſe who are accuſtomed to Praiſe, will not be proud of it. iii. 286. [iv. 72].
A perſon too fond of Praiſe is apt to be miſled by it, iv. 9. [196, 197].
Thoſe are generally moſt proud of Praiſe, who leaſt deſerve it, iv. 55. [246].
Praiſe reproaches, when applied to the undeſerving, iv. 85. [278].
Praiſe will beget an emulation in a generous mind to deſerve, or to continue to deſerve it, v. 224. [vi. 131].
Thoſe who praiſe with warmth the laudable actions of another, where they themſelves are not benefited, may be ſuppoſed to have a ſpirit like that which they applaud, vii. 246. See alſo i. 374. [viii. 170. See alſo ii. 66].
Perſons who find themſelves heard with applauſe, ought to take care that they do not, by engroſſing the converſation, loſe the benefit of other people's ſenti⯑ments; and that they ſuffer not themſelves to be praiſed into loquaciouſneſs, vii. 289. [viii. 215].
See Cenſure. Generoſity. Goodneſs. Merit. Virtue.
EARLY-BEGUN Antipathies are not eaſily eradicated, i. 19. [20].
Thoſe we diſlike can do nothing to pleaſe us, i. 89. ii. 114. [i. 92. ii. 202].
An extraordinary Antipathy in a young Lady to a par⯑ticular perſon, is generally owing to an extraordinary prepoſſeſſion in favour of another, i. 108. [112].
An eye favourable to a Lover, will not ſee his faults thro' a magnifying glaſs, ii. 50. [142].
[183] Prepoſſeſſion in a Lover's favour will make a Lady impute to ill-will and prejudice all that can be ſaid againſt him, ibid.
Old prejudices [tho' once ſeemingly removed] eaſily re⯑cur, ii. 314. [iii. 52].
To thoſe we love not, ſays Lovelace, ſpeaking of: Mr. Hickman, we can hardly allow the merit they ſhould be granted, vi. 1. [328].
Prejudices in disfavour generally fix deeper than Pre⯑judice in favour, vi. 306. [vii. 233].
Whenever we approve, we can find an hundred rea⯑ſons to juſtify our approbation; and whenever we diſlike, we can find a thouſand to juſtify our diſlike, vi. 256. [viii. 181]. [See Love. Lover.
PRIDE, in people of birth and fortune, is not only mean, but needleſs, i. 186. [193].
Diſtinction and quality may be prided in, by thoſe to whom it is a new thing, ibid.
The contempt a proud great perſon brings on himſelf, is a counterbalance for his greatneſs, ibid.
It is ſometimes eaſier to lay a proud man under obliga⯑tion, than to get him to acknowlege it, i. 322. [ii. 13].
Pride ever muſt, and ever will, provoke contempt, i. 186. [ii. 13].
There may be ſuch an haughtineſs in ſubmiſſion, as may entirely invalidate the ſubmiſſion, ii. 72. [162].
A perſon who diſtinguiſhes not, may think it the mark of a great ſpirit to humour his own Pride, even at the expence of his politeneſs, ii. 73. [163].
It is to be feared there are more good and laudable actions owing to Pride, than to Virtue, ii. 207. [291].
Pride and meanneſs are as nearly allied to each other, as the poets tell us wit and madneſs are, ii. 231. [314].
Nothing more effectually brings down a proud ſpirit, than a ſenſe of lying under pecuniary obligation, ii. 388. [iii. 121, 122].
Pride, when it is native, will ſhew itſelf ſometimes in the midſt of mortifications, iii. 33. [177].
Pride frequently eats up a man's prudence, iii. 239. [iv. 27].
[184] Pride is an infallible ſign of weakneſs, or ſomething wrong, either in the heart or head, or in both, iii. 240. [iv. 28].
It is poſſible for a woman to be proud, in ſuppoſing ſhe has no Pride, iv. 9. [196].
We ought not to value ourſelves on talents we give not to ourſelves, iv. 30. vii. 272. [iv. 218. viii. 197].
How contemptible is that Pride which ſtands upon diminutive obſervances, and gives up the moſt important duties! iv. 30. [219].
Some women have from Pride, what others [more laudably] have from principle. The Lord help the Sex, ſays Lovelace, if they had not Pride! v. 11. [257].
Pride or Arrogance invites mortification, v. 382. [vi. 301].
Haughty ſpirits, when they are convinced that they have carried their reſentments too high, frequently want but a good excuſe to condeſcend, vi. 371. [vii. 301].
Pride in man or woman is an extreme, that hardly fails, ſooner or later, to bring forth its mortifying con⯑trary, vi. 406. [vii. 399].
Perſons of accidental or ſhadowy merit may be proud; but inborn worth, muſt be always as much above conceit as arrogance, vii. 272. [viii. 197].
There is but one pride pardonable; that of being above doing a baſe or diſhonourable action, vii. 272. See alſo i. 186. [viii. 198. See alſo i. 193].
See Humility. Inſolence. Little Spirits.
PEOPLE at vile houſes, by producing ſometimes to their wicked clients wretches of pretended quality, cauſe people of degree to be thought more profligate than they are, iii. 258, 259. [iv. 45, 46].
Even a Lovelace refuſed to continue a commerce with profligate women, tho' they were firſt ruin'd by himſelf, iv. 74. v. 142. [iv. 266. vi. 45].
Men in bad company can think and ſay things that they cannot think or ſay in better, Lovel. v. 20. [267].
[185] Perſons may be led into crimes by the infection of bad company, which once they would have abhorred, v. 122. [vi. 24].
A profligate woman is more terrible to her own Sex, than even a bad man, v. 133. [vi. 37].
If a married man, ſays Lovelace, gives himſelf up to the company of wicked women, they will never let him reſt, till he either ſuſpect or hate his wife, v. 144. vii. 115. [vi. 46. viii. 34].
What can with-hold a jealous and already ruin'd wo⯑man? v. 144. [vi. 47].
Little knows the public what villainies are committed in the houſes of abandoned women, upon innocent crea⯑tures drawn into their ſnares, v. 333. 353. [vi. 248. 269].
O Lovelace, ſays Belford, deſcribing the profligate crea⯑tures at Sinclair's in their morning diſhabille, what compa⯑ny do we Rakes keep! and for ſuch company, what ſociety renounce, or endeavour to make like theſe! vii. 141. [viii. 61].
What woman, nice in her perſon, and of purity in her mind and manners, did ſhe know what miry wallowers the generality of men of our claſs are themſelves, and trough and ſty with, but would deteſt the thoughts of aſſociating with ſuch filthy ſenſualiſts, whoſe favourite taſte carries them to mingle with dregs of ſtews, bro⯑thels, and common-ſewers! Belf. ibid.
A high phrenſy muſt be the only happineſs that a woman, in her laſt hours, can know, who has acted the diabolical part of a Procureſs, vii. 143. [viii. 63].
See Advice to Women. Guilt. Libertine. Lover. &c.
PROSPERITY is the parent of impatience, i. 30. [32].
Thoſe who want the feweſt earthly bleſſings, moſt re⯑gret that they want any, ibid.
Riches are valuable, in that they put it in our power to confer favours on the deſerving, i. 321. [ii. 12].
[186] Succeſs in unjuſtifiable devices often ſets bad people above keeping decent meaſures, ii. 116. [203].
In great Proſperity, as well as in great Calamity, we ought to look into ourſelves, and fear, ii. 159. [245].
Succeſs has blown up, and undone, many a man, ii. 385. [iii. 118].
Who is there that Wealth does not miſlead? iii. 186. [321].
Proſperity ſets up merit as a mark for envy to ſhoot its ſhafts at, iii, 277. [iv. 64].
The greatly Proſperous bear controul and diſappoint⯑ment with difficulty, iv. 30. [218].
Great acquirements are great ſnares, ibid.
Thoſe are generally moſt proud of Riches or Grandeur, who were not born to either, iv. 55. [246].
Succeſs in projects is every-thing. Thoſe ſchemes will appear fooliſh, even to the contriver of them, which are fruſtrated and render'd abortive, v. 163. [vi. 66].
Proſperity and independence are much to be coveted, as they give force to the counſels of a friendly heart, v. 230. [vi. 138].
People may be too rich to be either conſiderate or con⯑tented, vi. 394. [vii. 326].
A life of Proſperity is dangerous, in that it affords not the trials which are neceſſary to wean a perſon from a world that ſuch will find too alluring, vii. 104. [viii. 23].
WHAT have we to do, but to chuſe what is right, to be ſteady in the purſuit of it, and leave the iſſue to Providence? i. 123. [128].
It is more juſt to arraign ourſelves, or our friends, than Providence, iii. 274. [iv. 60].
The ways of Providence are unſearchable, vii. 110. [viii. 29].
Various are the means made uſe of by Providence to bring ſinners to a ſenſe of their duty, ibid.
Some are drawn by love, others are driven by terrois, to that divine refuge, ibid.
See Inſolence. Pride.
THE trials of the Prudent are generally proportioned to their Prudence, i. 3. [3].
Prudent perſons will not put themſelves in the power of a ſervant's tongue, i. 84. [88].
Prudence will oblige a woman to forbear complain⯑ing, or making an appeal, againſt her huſband, i. 199. [207].
Deeds, not words, will be the only evidence to a prudent perſon of a good intention, i. 378. ii. 80. [ii. 70. 170].
A prudent woman, who is addreſſed by a man of ſuſpected virtue, tho' hopeful of the beſt, will always, in doubtful points, be fearful of the worſt, ii. 382. [iii. 115].
We are often fatally convinced of the vanity of mere human Prudence, iii. 274. [iv. 60].
A prudent and good perſon, who has been a little miſled, will do all in her power to recover, as ſoon as poſſible, her loſt path, iii. 275. [iv. 61].
To avoid the ſuppoſed diſgrace of retractation, a prudent perſon will be backward to give her opinion in company of perſons noted for their ſuperior talents, iii. 276. [iv. 62].
A wiſe woman, deſpiſing the imputation of prudery on one hand, and coquetry on the other, will form her conduct according to what her own heart tells her of the fit and unfit; and look upon the opinion of the world as matter only of ſecondary conſideration, iii. 312. [iv. 97].
Prudent perſons will not need to be convinced, by their own misfortunes, of the truth of what common ex⯑perience daily demonſtrates, vi. 158. [vii. 74].
Difficult ſituations are the teſts of Prudence and Vir⯑tue, vi. 191. [vii. 110].
It is a happy art to know when one has ſaid enough, vii. 289. [viii. 215, 216].
Prudent perſons will always leave their hearers wiſh⯑ing them to ſay more, rather than to give them cauſe to [188] ſhew, by their inattention and uneaſineſs, that they have ſaid too much, vii. 290. [viii. 216].
See Advice to Women. Goodneſs. Generoſity. Merit. Virtue.
PURITY of manners is the diſtinguiſhing characteriſtic of women, iii. 198. [332].
Women who ſimper or ſmile, when they ſhould reſent the culpable freedom of ſpeech in a bold man, render queſtionable the Purity of their hearts, ibid.
Words are the body and dreſs of thought, iii. 199. [332].
A pure mind ought not to wiſh a connexion with one impure, iii. 244. [iv. 31].
See Goodneſs. Religion. Virtue.
THE Violation of a woman is a crime that a man can never atone for; eſpecially when it is the occaſion of deſtroying good habits, and corrupting the whole heart, v. 101. [352].
The ſmalleſt conceſſion made by a woman, reſenting an Outrage actually made upon her honour, is as much to the purpoſe of the Violator as the greateſt, v. 173. [vi. 77].
The woman who, from Modeſty, declines proſecute⯑ing a brutal Raviſher, and has his life in her hands, is anſwerable for all the miſchiefs he may do in future, v. 273. [vi. 183].
Will it not be ſurmiſed, that ſuch a woman is appre⯑henſive that ſome weakneſs will appear againſt herſelf, if ſhe brought the man to a trial for his life? ibid.
See Mrs. Howe's further arguments on this head, Vol. v. p. 273, 274. [vi. p. 183, 184].
And alſo Dr. Lewen's, Vol. vi. p. 283-286. [vii. p. 208-221]. And Clariſſa's Anſwers, Vol. v. p. 277. and Vol. vi. p. 287-290. [vi. p. 188. and Vol. vii. p. 212-215].
[189] Indignities cannot be properly pardoned till we have it in our power to puniſh them, vi. 285. [vii. 210].
Injuries that are not reſented, or honourably com⯑plained of, will not be believed properly to affect us, ibid.
No truth is immodeſt, that is to be utter'd in the vin⯑dicated cauſe of innocence and chaſtity, ibid.
Little, very little difference is there between a ſup⯑preſſed evidence and a falſe one, ibid.
See Libertine.
Deſigned principally to incite Caution, and inſpire Prudence, &c. by letting them know what Libertines and free Speakers ſay and think of the Sex.
FOR women to do and to love what they ſhould not, is, according to old Ant. Harlowe, meat, drink, and veſ⯑ture to them, i. 211. [219].
The uſeleſſneſs and expenſiveneſs of modern women multiply Bachelors, i. 212. [220].
There is a tragedy-pride in the hearts of young wo⯑men, that will make them riſque every-thing to excite pity, James Harlowe, i. 253. [263].
Young creatures are often fond of a lover-like diſ⯑treſs, Ja. Harl. ibid.
Women-cowards love men of ſpirit, and delight in ſubjects of falſe heroiſm, Miſs Howe, i. 318. [ii. 9].
Women, according to Miſs Howe [ſome only ſhe muſt mean] are mere babies in matrimony; perverſe fools, when too much indulged and humour'd; creeping ſlaves, when treated with harſhneſs, i. 325. [ii. 16].
Women love to trade in ſurpriſes, i. 328. [ii. 20].
The man who can be ſure of his wife's complaiſance, tho' he has not her love, will be more happy than nine parts in ten of his married acquaintance, ſays Solmes, i. 371. [ii. 62].
If love and fear muſt be ſeparated in matrimony, the man who makes himſelf feared, fares beſt, Solmes, i. 371. See alſo i. 270. [ii. 63. See alſo i. 280].
Women always prefer bluſtering men: They only [190] wiſh to direct the bluſter, and make it roar when and at whom they pleaſe, Miſs Howe, ii. 37. [129].
Women, when they favour, will make the ſlighteſt, and even but a fanſy'd merit, excuſe the moſt glaring vice, ii. 51. [142].
Women who have the rougher manners of men, may be ſaid to have the ſouls of men in the bodies of wo⯑men, ii. 114. [201, 202].
Women love to engage in knight-errantry themſelves, as well as to encourage it in men, ii. 155. [242].
A Rake, ſays Lovelace, has no reaſon to be a hypo⯑crite, when he has found his views better anſwered by his being known to be a Rake, ii. 318. iii. 185. [iii. 56. 320].
How greedily do the Sex ſwallow praiſe! Lovel. ii. 353. [iii. 61].
Lovelace calls upon the Female Sex to account for the preference given by many modeſt women, as they are accounted, to a Rake, when the moſt impudent of Rakes, ſays he, love modeſty in a woman, ii. 372. [iii. 106].
It concerns every woman, inſtructively ſays Lovelace, to prove by her actions, that this preference is not owing to a likeneſs in nature, ibid.
There is, Lovelace ſays, ſuch a perverſeneſs in the Sex, that when they aſk your advice, they do it only to know your opinion, that they may oppoſe it, ii. 387. iii. 23. [iii. 120. 167].
Women, ſays Lovelace, love to be called cruel, even when they are kindeſt, iii. 24. [168].
The beſt of the Sex, ſays Lovelace, wiſh to have the credit of reforming a Rake; and ſo draw themſelves in with a very little of our help, iii. 185. [320].
Rakes and Libertines are the men, Miſs Howe ſays, that women do not naturally diſlike, iii. 329 [iv. 113].
Oppoſition and contradiction give vigour to female ſpirit of a warm and romantic turn, iii. 399. [iv. 183].
Women love Rakes, ſays Lovelace, becauſe Rakes know how to direct their uncertain wills, and to manage them, iv. 57. [249].
Nothing on earth is ſo perverſe as a woman, when [191] ſhe is ſet upon carrying a point, and has a meek man, or one who loves his peace, to deal with, Lovel. iv. 137. [335].
Had I found that a character for virtue had been ge⯑nerally neceſſary to recommend me to the Sex, I would, ſays Lovelace, have had a greater regard to my morals than I have had, iv. 162. [361].
When you would have a woman report a piece of intelligence, ſays Lovelace, you muſt enjoin her to keep it as a ſecret, iv. 248. [v. 80].
Women love to have their Sex, and their favours, ap⯑pear of importance to men, Lovel. iv. 275. [v. 109].
Moſt of the fair Romancers have, in their early wo⯑manhood, choſen Love names, ſays Lovelace, iv. 276. [v. 110].
Many a ſweet dear, adds he, has anſwered me a Let⯑ter, for the ſake of owning a name which her god⯑mother never gave her, ibid.
An innocent woman, Lovelace ſays, who has been little in the world, knows not what ſtrange ſtories every wo⯑man living, who has had the leaſt independence of will, could tell her, iv. 283. [v. 117].
The whole Sex love plotting, and plotters too, ſays Lovelace, iv. 285. [v. 120].
Women like not novices, Lovel. iv. 302. [v. 137].
They are pleaſed with a love of the Sex that is found⯑ed in the knowlege of it—Reaſon good—He proceeds to give the reaſons in the ſame ſtyle, very little to the credit of the Sex, iv. 302, 303. [v. 137, 138].
Women are the greateſt triflers in the creation, rudely ſays Lovelace, yet fanſy themſelves the moſt important beings in it! iv. 331. [v. 168].
Theſe tender doves, ſays Lovelace, ſpeaking of young Ladies, know not, till put to it, what they can bear, eſpecially when engag'd in love affairs, iv. 333. [v. 170]
The Sex love buſy ſcenes, Lovel. ibid.
A woman will create a ſtorm, rather than be without one, Lovel. ibid.
Moſt unhappy is the woman, who is obliged to live in tumults, which ſhe neither raiſed, nor can controul, ibid.
[192] Women are uſed to cry without grief, and to laugh without reaſon, Lovel. iv. 339. [v. 176].
Any woman, ſays Lovelace, could I make good; be⯑cauſe I could make her fear me, as well as love me, iv. 381. [v. 220, 221].
All women are born to intrigue, and practiſe it more or leſs, Lovel. iv. 404. [v. 244].
In love affairs women are naturally expert, and much more quick-witted than men, Lovel. ibid.
Friendſhip in women, when a man comes in between the pair of friends, is given up, like their muſic, and other maidenly amuſements, Lovel. v. 8. [254].
The mother who would wiſh her daughter to have one man, would ſometimes better ſucceed, if ſhe propoſed another, Lovel. v. 9. [254, 255].
It is a common fault of the Sex, according to Lovelace, to aim at being young too long, v. 32. [279].
Secrets of love, and ſecrets of intrigue, Lovelace ſays, are the ſtrongeſt cements of womens friendſhips, v. 69. [318].
All women, ſays Lovelace, are cowards at heart: They are only violent where they may, v. 178. [vi. 83].
Women, ſays Lovelace, love thoſe beſt (whether men, women, or children) who give them moſt pain, v. 363. [vi. 281].
Girls who are never out of temper but with reaſon, when that is given them, hardly ever pardon, or af⯑ford another opportunity of offending, Lovel. v. 392. [vi. 311].
Veſtals, ſays Lovelace, have been often warmed by their own fires, vi. 9. [337].
Revenge and obſtinacy will make the beſt of women do very unaccountable things, Lovel. vi. 11. [339].
Women, rather than not put out both the eyes of a man they are mortally offended with, will put out one of their own, Lovel. ibid.
Vile men owe much of their vileneſs even to women of character, who hardly ever ſcruple to accompany and converſe with them, tho' they have been guilty of ever ſo much baſeneſs to others, vi. 82. [414, 415].
Women being generally modeſt and baſhful them⯑ſelves, [193] are too apt to conſider that quality in the men, which is their own principal grace, as a defect; and finely do they judge, when they think of ſupplying that defect by chuſing a man that cannot be aſhamed, vi. 83. [415].
Ladies, Lovelace hints, often give denials, only to be perſuaded to comply, in order to reconcile themſelves to themſelves, vi. 97. [vii. 10].
No woman is homely in her own opinion, vi. 219. [vii. 140].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Love. Liber⯑tine. Marriage. Men and Women.
A MAN can hardly be expected to reform, who re⯑ſolves not to quit the evil company he has been accuſtom⯑ed to delight in, i. 226. [234].
Pretences to inſtantaneous Convictions are to be ſuſpect⯑ed, i. 236. [245].
Conviction is half way to amendment, i. 260. [270].
To reform by an enemy's malevolence, is the nobleſt revenge in the world, i. 265. [275].
Very few Convictions ariſe from vehement debatings, i. 384. [ii. 75].
The firſt ſtep to Reformation is to ſubdue ſudden guſts of paſſion, and to be patient under diſappointment, ii. 27. [120].
The moſt abandon'd of Libertines generally mean one day to reform, ii. 378. [iii. 111, 112]. Should they not therefore, even as Libertines, reſolve againſt atrocious guilt, were it but to make their future compunction leſs pungent?]
Reformation cannot be a ſudden work, ii. 378. 391. [iii. 112. 124].
There is more hope of the Reformation of a man of ſenſe, than of a fool, ii. 393. See alſo i. 262. [iii. 126. See alſo i. 272].
But this is a deluſive hope, and has been the cauſe of great miſchief; for who thinks not the man ſhe loves a man of ſenſe? The obſervations that follow are nearer the truth, and deſerve to be well conſidered.
A man who errs with his eyes open, and againſt Con⯑viction, is the worſe for what he knows, iii. 6. [151].
[194] The man of parts and abilities, who engages in a baſeneſs, knowing it to be ſo, is leſs likely to be re⯑claimed, than one who errs from want of knowlege, or due Conviction, v. 218. [vi. 125].
Women think, that the reclaiming of a man from bad habits, as Lovelace himſelf obſerves, is a much eaſier taſk than in the nature of things it can be, v. 299. [vi. 211].
For Mr. Belford's ſcheme of Reformation ſee Vol. vii. 215 to 218. [viii. p. 138-141].
Little hope can there be of reclaiming a man, who is vile from premeditation, vi. 46. [376].
To what a bad choice is many a worthy woman be⯑tray'd, by that falſe and inconſiderate notion, raiſed and propagated no doubt by the author of all deluſion, That a reformed Rake makes the beſt Huſband! Belf. vii. 141. [viii. 61].
Little do innocents think what a total revolution of manners, what a change of fixed habits, nay, what a conqueſt of a bad nature, and what a portion of divine grace, is required to make a profligate man a good huſband, a worthy father, and a true friend, from PRINCIPLE, vii. 142. [viii. 62].
It is a high degree of preſumption for a woman to ſuppoſe her own virtue ſo ſecure, as that ſhe may marry a profligate in hopes to reclaim him, vii. 202. [viii. 125].
The ſincerity of that man's Reformation is hardly to be doubted, who can patiently bear being reminded of his paſt follies, and when he can occaſionally expreſs an abhorrence of them, vii. 251. [viii. 175].
See Goodneſs. Religion. Repentance.
To borrow of Relations, is to ſubject one's ſelf to an inquiſition into one's life and actions, Lovel. ii. 389. [iii. 122].
A GOOD man will not eaſily be put out of countenance [by ſcoffers], when the cauſe of Virtue and Religion is to be vindicated, i. 327. [ii. 18].
[195] There are men who think themſelves too wiſe to be religious, ii. 108. [196].
There is ſomething beautifully ſolemn in Devotion, ſays even Lovelace, iii. 189. [324].
The Sabbath, ſays he, is a moſt excellent inſtitution to keep the heart right, ibid.
It is a fine ſight, adds he, to ſee multitudes of well⯑appearing people all joining in one reverent act! an ex⯑erciſe how worthy of a rational being! ibid.
If, as religion teaches us, we ſhall be judged, in a great meaſure, by our benevolent or evil actions to one another, what muſt be the condemnation of thoſe who have wilfully perpetrated acts of the moſt atrocious vio⯑lence upon their innocent fellow-creatures? iv. 58. [v. 306].
Libertines are generally for making a Religion to their practices; a wickedneſs which nevertheleſs Lovelace diſclaims, v. 310. [vi. 223].
Religion will teach us to bear inevitable evils with patience, v. 390. [vi. 309].
Altho' I wiſh not for life, ſays Clariſſa, yet would I not, like a poor coward, deſert my poſt, when I can maintain it, and when it is my duty to maintain it, vi. 48. [377, 378].
I will do every thing I can, continues ſhe, to preſerve my life, till God, in mercy to me, ſhall be pleaſed to call for it, vi. 48. [378].
Religious conſiderations, timely enforced, will prevent the heart from being ſeized with violent and fatal grief, vi. 49. [379].
Diſappointments may bring on an indifference to this life; but a truly pious reſignation to death requires a better and deeper root, vi. 55. [385].
Enthuſiaſts often depreciate the Scriptures they mean to extol, by abuſed and indiſcriminate applications, vi. 95. [vii. 7].
Even a Lovelace diſclaims, as ill manners, jeſting upon religion, or religious men, vi. 97. [vii. 10].
A perſon of innate piety cannot think of ſhortening her own life (whatever her calamities may be) even by neglect, much leſs by violence, vi. 102. [vii. 14].
[196] Our beſt prayer in affliction in doubtful or critical ſituations, is, That God's will may be done, and that we may be reſigned to it, vi. 116. [vii. 30].
Religion is the only refuge of a heart labouring un⯑der heavy and unmerited calamities, vi. 175. [vii. 93].
Religion enjoins us not only to forgive injuries, but to return good for evil; and Clariſſa bleſſes God for enabling her to obey its dictates, vi. 180. [vii. 98].
Perſons of Piety cannot permit reſentment, paſſion, or anger, to appear, or have place, in the laſt diſpoſition of their ſecular affairs, vi. 403. [vii. 335].
God will have no rivals in the hearts which he ſancti⯑fies, vii. 31. [371].
Perſons of Education and Piety will diſtinguiſh them⯑ſelves as ſuch, even in their anger, vii. 101. [viii. 19].
It is a great miſtake to imagine, that Piety is not en⯑tirely conſiſtent with good nature and good manners, vii. 263. [viii. 188].
Religion, if it has taken proper hold of the heart, is, ſays Lovelace, the moſt chearful countenance-maker in the world, ibid.
Sourneſs and moroſeneſs indicate but a noviceſhip in Piety or Goodneſs, Lovel. ibid.
See Goodneſs. Virtue.
THE troubles of the injured are generally at an end, when the injury is committed; but when the puniſhment of the injurer will be over, who can tell! Lovel. v. 90. [343, 344].
How often, ſays Lovelace, do we end in occaſions for the deepeſt Remorſe, what we began in wantonneſs! v. 100. [351].
The Remorſe that is brought on merely by diſappoint⯑ment cannot be laſting, v. 173. [vi. 77].
Nothing, ſays Lovelace, but the excruciating pangs which the condemned ſoul feels at its entrance into the eternity of the torments we are taught to fear, can ex⯑ceed what I now feel, and have felt for this week paſt, vii. 35. [375].
[197] What a dreadful thing is after-reflexion upon a per⯑verſe and unnatural conduct, vii. 148. [viii. 68].
Heavy muſt be the reflexions of thoſe, who, on the loſs of a worthy friend, have acts of unmerited kind⯑neſs to that friend to reproach themſelves with, vii. 168. [viii. 89].
WHAT is it that men propoſe, who put off Repent⯑ance and Amendment, but to live to ſenſe, as long as ſenſe can reliſh, and to reform when they can ſin no longer? iii. 107. [246].
That Contrition for a guilt, under which the guilty, till detected, was eaſy, is generally to be aſcribed to the detection, and not to a due ſenſe of the heinouſneſs of the guilt, v. 155. [vi. 58].
Repentance, I have a notion, ſays Lovelace, ſhould be ſet about while a man is is good health and ſpirits, v. 396. [vi. 315].
What is a man fit for [not a new work, ſurely!] when he is not himſelf, nor maſter of his faculties? Lovel. ibid.
Hence, as I apprehend, it is, that a death-bed re⯑pentance is ſuppoſed to be ſuch a precarious and inef⯑fectual thing, Lovel. ibid.
As to myſelf, proceeds he, I hope I have a great deal of time before me, ſince I intend one day to be a re⯑formed man, v. 396. [vi. 316].
Lovelace lived not to repent!
I have very ſerious reflexions now and then; yet am I afraid of what I was once told, that a man cannot re⯑pent when he will—Not to hold it, I ſuppoſe is meant—I have repented by fits and ſtarts a thouſand times, Lovel. v. 396. [vi. 316].
Laugh at me, if thou wilt, ſays Belford, but never, never more will I take the liberties I have done; but, whenever I am tempted, think of Belton's dying ago⯑nies, and what my own may be, vi. 268. [vii. 192].
The moſt hopeful time for Repentance is when the health is ſound, when the intellects are untouched, and [198] while it is in a perſon's power to make ſome reparation to the injured or miſled, vi. 270. See alſo ii. 380. [vii. 194. See alſo iii. 114].
Reparation ſhould always follow Repentance, vi. 336. [vii. 263].
That Repentance for a wrong ſtep, which precedes the ſuffering that follows it, muſt generally be well⯑grounded and happy, vii. 109. [viii. 28].
Repentance, to ſuch as have lived only careleſly, and in the omiſſion of their regular duties, is not ſo eaſy a taſk, nor ſo much in their power, as ſome imagine, vii. 202. See alſo v. 100. [viii. 124. See alſo v. 351].
No falſe colouring, no gloſſes, does a truly penitent man aim at, vii. 225. [viii. 148].
See Remorſe. Religion.
THE Reproof that ſavours more of the cautioning friend, than of the ſatirizing obſerver, always calls for gratitude, i. 249. [258].
Reproofs, to be efficacious, ſhould be mild, gentle, and unreproaching, ii. 354. [iii. 89].
How much more eligible is it to be corrected by a real friend, than by continuing either blind or wilful, to ex⯑poſe one's ſelf to the cenſure of an envious and perhaps malignant world? iii. 64. [206].
The correction that is unſeaſonably given, is more likely to harden, or to make an hypocrite, than to re⯑claim, iii. 101. [240, 241].
A bad man reprehends a bad man with a very ill grace, iv. 160. v. 136. [iv. 359. vi. 38].
Perſons reprehending others ſhould take care that, altho' they may not be guilty of the faults they con⯑demn, they are not guilty of others as great, iv. 162. [361].
The benevolence of our purpoſe ſhould be very ap⯑parently ſeen in all our Reprehenſions, vii. 282. [viii. 207].
See Cenſure.
THE man who is careleſs of his Reputation, muſt be ſo either from an abandoned nature, or from a con⯑ſciouſneſs that he deſerves not the world's good opinion, i. 67. [69].
It is juſt that a man ſhould bear to be evil-ſpoken of who ſets no value upon his Reputation, i. 240. [249].
The man who has been always chary of his Reputa⯑tion, has an excellent ſecurity to give to a woman for his good behaviour to her, iii. 247. [iv. 34].
See Men and Women.
PERSONS who have carried their Reſentments too high, are not eaſily brought to retract or forgive, i. 26. [27].
If an injury be not wilfully done, or avow'd to be ſo, there can be no room for laſting Reſentment, i. 368. [ii. 60].
The man who would reſent as the higheſt indignity the imputation of a wilful falſhood, ought ſurely to be above the guilt of one, i. 389. [ii. 80].
The preſence even of a diſliked perſon takes off the edge of Reſentments, which abſence frequently whets and makes keen, ii. 13. [107].
Women who, when treated with indecency, have no⯑thing to reproach themſelves with, may properly reſent, v. 306. [vi. 219].
Reſentment and revenge ought ever to be ſeparated, v. 370. [vi. 288].
That Reſentment which is expreſs'd with calmneſs, and without paſſion, is moſt likely to laſt, vi. 21. [349].
Paſſion refuſes the aid of expreſſion ſometimes, where the Reſentment prima facie declares expreſſion to be need⯑leſs, vii. 236. [viii. 161].
See Anger. Paſſion. Revenge.
PERSONS who deſerve Reſpect will meet with it, without needing to require it, i. 186. [193].
[200] Perſons who would exact Reſpect by an haughty be⯑haviour, give a proof that they miſtruſt their own merit; and ſeem to confeſs that they know their actions will not attract it, i. 186. [193].
Familiarity deſtroys Reverence; but not with the prudent, the grateful, and the generous, ii. 73. [163].
Perſons in years expect the Reverence due to their years; yet many of them (having not merit) are aſham⯑ed of the years which can only intitle them to Reverence. ii. 86. [176].
A ſtudied Reſpectfulneſs or complaiſance, is always to be ſuſpected, iii. 152. 161. v. 179. See alſo ii. 285. [iii. 289. 297. vi. 84. See alſo iii. 24].
Even a wicked man will revere a woman that will withſtand his lewd attempts, iv. 362. [v. 200].
It ſhall ever be a rule with me, ſays Miſs Howe, that he that does not regard a woman with ſome degree of Reverence, will look upon her, and ſometimes treat her, with contempt, vi. 83. [416].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Love. Men and Women.
REVENGE grafted upon diſappointed love, is gene⯑rally the moſt violent of all our paſſions, i. 84. [88].
The higheſt Revenge a low female ſpirit can take, is to prevent her rival's having the man ſhe loves, and pro⯑curing her to be obliged to marry the man ſhe hates, i. 85. [88, 89].
Even the ties of relationſhip, in ſuch a caſe, loſe all their force, i. 85. [89].
Revenge will not wipe off guilt, i. 265. [275].
What Revenge can be more effectual and more noble, than a generous and well diſtinguiſhed forgiveneſs? vii. 195. [viii. 116].
See Reſentment.
TRUE Satire muſt be founded in good nature, and directed by a right heart, ii. 55. [146].
[201] When Satire is perſonal, and aims to expoſe rather than to amend the ſubject of it; how, tho' it were to be juſt, can it be uſeful? ii 55. v. 228. [ii. 146. vi. 135].
Friendly Satire may be compared to a fine lancet, which gently breathes a vein for health ſake; the male⯑volent Satire to a broad ſword which lets, into the gaſhes it makes, the air of public ridicule, ii. 55. [146].
See Anger. Paſſion. Reſentment.
NOTHING flies faſter than a whiſper'd ſcandal, iv. 205. [v. 35].
Liſteners are generally conſcious of demerit, iv. 282. [v. 116].
It becomes not a modeſt man to pry into thoſe ſe⯑crets which a modeſt man cannot reveal, iv. 307. [v. 142].
People who mean well, need not affect Secrets, iv. 334. [v. 171].
Few people who are fond of prying into the Secrets of others, are fit to be truſted, iv. 362. [v. 200].
Over-curious people will whiſper a Secret about, till it becomes public, in the pride of ſhewing either their conſequence or ſagacity, ibid.
Health and ſpirits (but not diſcretion or decency) allow buſy people to look out of themſelves into the affairs of others, v. 291. [vi. 202].
Secrets to the prejudice of the innocent ought not to be kept, v. 379, 380. 383. [vi. 298. 301].
There may be occaſions, where a breach of confidence is more excuſeable than to keep the Secret, Lovelace, vii. 226. See alſo Vol. V. p. 379, 383. [viii. 150. See alſo vi. 298. 301].
I believe I ſhould have kill'd thee at the time if I could, ſays Lovelace to Belford, hadſt thou betray'd me to my fair-one: But I am ſure now that I would have thank'd thee for preventing my baſeneſs to her, and thought thee more a father and a friend than my real father and beſt friend, vii. 227. [viii. 150].
See Obſervations General.
WHAT is the narrow Selfiſhneſs that reigns in us, but relationſhip remember'd againſt relationſhip forgot? i. 44. [46].
Self-Intereſt and Ambition too often cut aſunder the bonds of relationly love, i. 81. [84].
It is in the power of the ſlighteſt accident to blow up and deſtroy the long-reaching views of the Selfiſh, i. 81. [84].
A man's own intereſt or convenience is a poor plea, if there be no better, on which to found expectations of favour from another, i. 207. [215].
The addreſs which is perſiſted in againſt the undoubt⯑ed inclination of the beloved object, is too ſelfiſh to be encouraged, i. 219. [227].
What a low ſelfiſh creature muſt that child be, who is to be rein'd-in only by the hope of what a parent can, or will do for her! i. 379. [271].
The ſelfiſh heart never wants an excuſe for not doing the good it has no inclination to do, ii. 153. [239].
It is very low and ſelfiſh to form our judgments of the general merits of others, as they are kind or reſerved to ourſelves, ii. 211. [295].
There muſt be great Selfiſhneſs and meanneſs in the love of a man, who can wiſh a young creature to ſa⯑crifice her duty and conſcience to oblige him, ii. 270. iii. 63. [iii. 10. 205].
The man who has no other plea for a woman's favour but that of his loving her, builds only on a compliment made to her Self-Love by his Selfiſhneſs, iii. 100. [239].
To ſerve ones-ſelf, and puniſh a villain at the ſame time, is ſerving both public and private, Lovel. iii. 257. [iv. 44].
Self-love will moſt probably give thoſe who adviſe with us on their moſt intimate concerns, an intereſt in our hearts whether they deſerve it or not, iii. 356. [iv. 140].
Self is a grand miſleader, iv. 9. [197].
Thoſe men, or even that body of men, who prefer [203] their private intereſt to the public, are unworthy members of ſociety, v. 25. [272].
Self is an odious devil, that reconciles to ſome people the moſt cruel and diſhoneſt actions, vi. 64. [395].
See Covetouſneſs. Partiality.
THE leſs of ſoul there is in man or woman, the more ſenſual are they, iv. 149. [348].
Love gratified is love ſatisfied, and love ſatisfied is in⯑difference begun, Belford, iv. 149, 150. [348].
This deified paſſion in its greateſt altitude is not fitted to ſtand the day, iv. 150. [348].
Shall ſuch a ſneaking paſſion as ſenſual love be per⯑mitted to debaſe the nobleſt! ibid.
See Love. Lovers.
GREAT allowances ought to be made for the petu⯑lance of perſons labouring under ill-health, i. 173, 174. [180].
When peoples minds are weakened by a ſenſe of their own infirmities, they will be moved on the ſlighteſt oc⯑caſions, v. 304. [vi. 217].
A ſick perſon, tho' hopeleſs of recovery, ſhould try every means that is properly preſcribed to her, for the ſatisfaction of her friends, both preſent and abſent, v. 385, 386. [303. 305].
Sickneſs palls every appetite, and makes us loath what we once loved, vi. 30. [359].
When Sickneſs comes, free livers look round them, and upon one another, like frighted birds at the ſight of a Kite juſt ready to ſouſe upon them, vi. 59. [389].
Sickneſs enervates the mind as well as the body, vi. 257. [vii. 179].
A long tedious Sickneſs, ſays Lovelace, will make a bugbear of any thing to a languiſhing heart, vi. 258. [vii. 181].
An active mind, tho' clouded by bodily illneſs, can⯑not be idle, vi. 308. [vii. 235].
Travelling is undoubtedly the beſt phyſic for all thoſe [204] diſorders which owe their riſe to grief or diſappointment, vii. 20. [359].
See Adverſity. Health. Phyſic. Repentance. Vapours.
A PERSON who labours hard to clear herſelf of a fault ſhe is not charged with, renders herſelf ſuſpectable, i. 115. [123, 124].
Perſons who have been dipt in love themſelves, are the readieſt to ſuſpect others, i. 249. ii. 352. [ii. 257. iii. 87].
Suſpicion, Watchfulneſs, Scolding, Miſs Howe ſays, will not prevent a daughter's writing, or doing any thing ſhe has a mind to do, ii. 303. [iii. 41].
When we doubt of a perſon's ſincerity, we ſhould obſerve whether his aſpect and his words agree, ii. 377. [iii. 111].
Where Doubts of any perſon are removed, a mind not ungenerous, will endeavour to make the ſuſpected per⯑ſon double amends, iii. 170. [306].
Jealouſy in a woman is not to be concealed from wo⯑man, if both are preſent, and in love with the ſame man, iii. 173. [309].
Conſtitutional Jealouſy preys not on the health, iii. 261. [iv. 48].
Jealouſy in a woman accounts for a thouſand ſeeming⯑ly unaccountable actions, Lovel. iv. 265. [v. 98].
See Apprehenſion. Love. Parents and Children.
BEAUTY in Tears, is beauty heighten'd, iv. 190. [v. 19].
Anatomiſts, ſays the hard-hearted Lovelace, will allow that women have more watry heads than men, v. 129. [vi. 31].
Nothing dries ſooner than Tears, Lovel. v. 349. [vi. 265].
The man is to be honour'd who can weep for the [205] diſtreſſes of others; and can ſuch a one be inſenſible to his own? vi. 237, 238. [vii. 159, 160].
Tears eaſe the overcharged heart, which, but for that kindly and natural relief, would burſt, vi. 238. [vii. 160].
Tears are the prerogative of the human creature, ibid.
It cannot be a weakneſs to be touch'd at great and concerning events, in which our humanity is concern'd, ibid.
See Beauty. Cruelty. Eyes. Heart.
KNOWLEGE by Theory, is a vague uncertain light, which as often miſleads the doubting mind, as puts it right, iv. 281. [v. 115].
The knowlege that is obtained by Theory without experience, generally fails the perſon who truſts to it, v. 67. [317].
Theory and practice muſt be the ſame thing with a truly worthy perſon, vi. 109. [vii. 22].
A THOUGHTFUL mind is not a bleſſing to be coveted, unleſs it has ſuch a happy vivacity join'd with it as may enable a perſon to enjoy the preſent, without being over⯑anxious about the future, ii. 92. [181].
A thoughtful woman who has given her lover an un⯑due power over her, will be apt to behold him with fear, and look upon herſelf with contempt, ii. 268. [iii. 25].
The difference which ſuch a one will find in the looks and behaviour of her lover, will very ſoon convince her of her error, ibid.
The finer Senſibilities make not happy, iii. 116. [254].
Some people are as ſenſible of a ſcratch from a pin, as others are from a puſh of the ſword, vi. 257. [vii. 180]. [See Heart.
IT is an high act of tyranny, to inſiſt upon obedience to an unreaſonable command, iii. 50. [193].
[206] Tyranny in all ſhapes is odious; but Fathers and Mo⯑thers who are Tyrants can have no bowels, iii. 284. [iv. 71].
The woman who beforehand behaves to a man with Tyranny, will make a poor figure in a man's eyes after⯑wards, Mrs. Howe, iii. 387. [iv. 171].
Call Tyranny an ungenerous pleaſure, if thou wilt, ſays Lovelace, ſofter hearts than mine have known it. Women to a woman know it, and ſhew it too, whenever they are truſted with power, iv. 281. [v. 115].
See Huſband and Wife. Parents and Children. Re⯑flexions on Women.
A VAIN man will be apt to conſtrue to his ad⯑vantage any particularity ſhewn him by a lady, mean by it what ſhe will, i. 16. 18. [17. 19].
The perſon who is vain of exterior advantages, gives cauſe to doubt his interior, i. 186. 247. [193. 256].
The outſide of a vain man generally runs away with him, i. 269. [278].
Some perſons are not able to forego the oſtentation of ſagacity, tho' they ſacrifice to it the tenderneſs due to friendſhip and charity, ii. 205. [289].
Men who have a Conceit of their own volubility, love to find ears to exert their talents upon, ii. 330. [iii. 66].
Men of parts may, perhaps, think they have a pri⯑vilege to be vain; yet they have the leaſt occaſion of any to be ſo, ſince the world is ready to find them out and extol them, ii. 384. [iii. 117].
The man who is diſpoſed immoderately to exalt him⯑ſelf, muſt deſpiſe every body elſe in proportion, iii. 42. [185].
Men vain of their learning and acquirements, pa⯑rading with one another before the other Sex, may pro⯑bably have women preſent, who, tho' ſitting in ſmiling ſilence, may rather deſpiſe than admire them, iii. 202. [336].
[207] The man who in converſation takes, knowingly, the wrong ſide of an argument, ſhews Vanity in the high compliment he pays to his own abilities, iii. 202. [336].
The man who wants to be thought wiſer, or better, or abler, than he is, does but provoke a ſcrutiny into his pretenſions, which ſeldom ends to his advantage, iii. 240. [iv. 28].
He that exalts himſelf inſults his neighbours, who are then provoked to queſtion even the merit which otherwiſe might have been allow'd to be his due, ibid.
A too great conſciouſneſs of ſuperiority often brings on contempt, iii. 274. [iv. 60].
Old bachelors, when they like a woman, frequently think they have nothing to do but to perſuade themſelves to marry, iii. 297. [iv. 83].
Affectation will make a woman ſeem not to underſtand indecent freedoms of ſpeech in men; but modeſty, if the freedoms are groſs, will make her reſent them, iv. 36. [224].
It is generally the conſcious overfulneſs of Vanity or Conceit that makes the vain man moſt upon his guard to conceal his Vanity, Lovel. iv. 302. [v. 137].
Opinionative women are in danger, when they meet with a flatterer; who will magnify their wiſdom in order to take advantage of their folly, Lovel. v. 67. [317].
Self-ſufficiency makes a weak perſon the fitteſt of all others for the artful and deſigning to work upon, v. 282. [vi. 193].
An open-mouth'd Affectation to ſhew white teeth, Lovelace conſiders as an invitation to amorous familiarity, v. 289. [vi. 201].
The darkeſt and moſt contemptible ignorance, is that of not knowing one's ſelf; and that all we have, and all we excel in, is the gift of God, vii. 272. [viii. 197].
See Heart. Human Nature. Men and Women.
VAPOURISH people are perpetual ſubjects for phyſi⯑cians to work upon, Lovel. iv. 35. [228].
Low-ſpirited people are the phyſical tribe's milch cows, Lovel. iv. 38. [228].
[208] Vapouriſh people draw out fearful bills of indictment againſt themſelves, Lovel. iv. 38. [228].
If perſons of low ſpirits have not real unhappineſs, they can make it even from the overflowings of their good fortune, iv. 311. vi. 407. [v. 147. vii. 339].
The mind will at any time run away with the body, vi. 66. [396].
The mind that buſies itſelf to make the worſt of every diſagreeable occurrence, will never want woe, vi. 367. [vii. 297].
The diſtempers we make to ourſelves, and which it is in our power to leſſen, ought to be our puniſhment if we do not leſſen them, vi. 407. [vii. 339].
See Health. Phyſic.
THOSE perſons have profited little by a long courſe of heavy afflictions, who will purchaſe their relief from them at the expence of their Veracity, iv. 106. [300].
It is preſumed, that no man ever ruined a woman but at the expence of his Veracity, iv. 159. [358].
A departure from truth was hardly ever known to be a ſingle departure, iv. 267. [v. 100].
Were I to live a thouſand years, ſays Clariſſa, I would always ſuſpect the Veracity of a ſwearer, v. 366. [vi. 284].
How glorious is it for a child to be able to ſay with Clariſſa, that ſhe never, to the beſt of her knowlege, told her mother a wilful untruth, vi. 160. [vii. 77].
I have never lyed to man, ſays Lovelace, and hardly ever ſaid Truth to Woman; the firſt is what all free livers cannot ſay, the ſecond, what every Rake can, vii. 212. [viii. 135].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Love. Lover. Vows.
VEHEMENT and obſtinate Spirits, by tiring out op⯑poſition, will make themſelves of importance, i. 29. [31].
[209] People who allow nothing, will be granted nothing, i. 57. [59].
Thoſe who aim to carry too many points, will not be able to carry any, ibid.
We are too apt to make allowances for ſuch tempers as early indulgence has made uncontroulable, ii. 48. [140].
If a boiſterous Spirit, when it is under obligation, is to be allowed for, what, were the tables to be turn'd, would it not expect? ibid.
Too great allowances made for an impetuous Spirit, are neither happy for the perſon, nor for thoſe who have to deal with him, ibid.
Providence often makes hoſtile Spirits their own puniſhers, ii. 151. [238].
While a gentle Spirit will ſuffer from a baſe world, a violent one keeps impoſition at diſtance, iii. 66. [208].
Impoſing Spirits and froward Spirits have a great ad⯑vantage over courteous ones, iii. 148. [284].
Violent Spirits provoked, will quarrel with the firſt they meet, iii. 210. 265. [iii. 342. iv. 51].
Violent Spirits want ſome great ſickneſs or heavy miſ⯑fortune to befal them, to bring them to a knowlege of themſelves, vii. 18. [357].
The man who is violent in his reſentments, when he thinks himſelf right, would oftener be ſo, but for that violence, vii. 108. [viii. 26].
He is guilty of great injuſtice, who is more apt to give contradiction than able to bear it, vii. 108. [viii. 27].
Impetuoſity of temper generally brings on abaſement, ibid.
See Anger. Inſolence. Paſſion. Pride. Proſpe⯑rity. Reſentment. Revenge.
WHAT a mind muſt that be, which, tho' not virtu⯑ous itſelf, admires not virtue in another! i. 189. [197].
No woman can be lovely, that is not virtuous, ii. 66. [157].
[210] If perſons pretending to Principle, bear not their te⯑ſtimony againſt unprincipled actions, what check can they have? ii. 73. [163].
In a general corruption a ſtand muſt be made by ſome⯑body, or Virtue will be loſt: And ſhall it not be I, will a worthy mind aſk, who ſhall make this ſtand? ii. 75. [165].
Provocations and temptations are the teſt of Virtue, iii. 85. [ii. 350].
Honours next to divine, are due to a woman whoſe Virtue is ſuperior to trial or temptation, ii. 353. [iii. 89].
Lively women ſeldom know the worth of a virtuous man, ii. 397. [iii. 130].
Sound Principles and a good heart, are the only baſes on which the hopes of a happy future, with reſpect to both worlds, can be built, iii. 321. [iv. 106].
The Virtue of a woman tried, and approved, pro⯑cures for her not only general reſpect, but a higher de⯑gree of love when proved, even from the tempter, v. 103. [vi. 67].
A virtuous woman will conquer her affection for a man who is capable of inſulting her modeſty, v. 192. [vi. 97].
What virtuous woman can ſubmit to make that man her choice, whoſe actions were and ought to be her abhorrence? vi. 45. [375].
See Generoſity. Goodneſs. Innocence. Merit. Magnanimity. Modeſty. Prudence. Purity.
PERSONS of active ſpirits and a pleaſurable turn, ſeldom take pains to improve themſelves, i. 65. [67].
Lively talents are oftener ſnares than advantages, i. 186. [194].
That is a happy Vivacity which enables a perſon to enjoy the preſent, without being anxious about the fu⯑ture, ii. 92. [181].
Perſons of Vivacity, do not always content themſelves with ſaying what they think may be ſaid; but, to ſhew, their penetration or ſagacity, will indulge themſelves in [211] ſaying all that can be ſaid on a ſubject, ii. 212. [295, 296].
It is difficult for perſons of lively diſpoſitions ſo to behave, as to avoid cenſure, v. 250. [vi. 159].
It is impoſſible to ſhare the delights which very lively ſpirits give, without partaking of the inconveniencies that will attend their volatility, vi. 54. [384].
A PROMISE ought not to preclude better conſidera⯑tion, ii. 215. [299].
What muſt be that man who would be angry at a woman, whom he hopes one day to call his wife, for diſpenſing with a raſh Promiſe when ſhe is convinced it was raſh, ibid.
The Vows of a maiden may be diſpenſed with by her Father when he hears them, Num xxx. 3, 4, 5. ibid.
In like manner the Vows of a wife may be diſpenſed with by her huſband, ibid.
Could the Curſer puniſh as he ſpeaks, he would be a fiend, ii. 282. [iii. 21].
The Almighty gives not his aſſent to raſh and inhu⯑man Curſes, iii. 122. [260].
To pray for thoſe that curſe us, is to perform a duty, and thereby to turn a Curſe into a bleſſing, iii. 123. [261].
The man that is very ready to promiſe, is ſeldom equally ready to perform, iii. 150. [295].
It is a ſhame for grown perſons to have frequent need to make promiſes of amendment, iii. 304. [iv. 90].
The moſt immaculate Virtue is not ſafe with a man who has no regard to his own honour, and makes a jeſt of the moſt ſolemn Vows and Proteſtations, iii. 332. [iv. 117].
One continued ſtring of Oaths, Vows, and Proteſta⯑tions, varied only by time and place, fill the mouth of a libertine, v. 133. [vi. 35].
Men, who gain their diſhonourable ends by perjuries, [212] no leſs prophane and defy heaven, than deceive and injure their fellow-creatures, v. 267. [vi. 177].
The man who binds his Promiſes by Oaths, indirectly confeſſes that his word is not to be taken, v. 366. See alſo i. 378. [vi. 284. See alſo ii. 70].
Is it likely, that he who makes free with his God, will ſcruple any thing that may ſerve his turn with his fellow-creatures? v. 366. [vi. 284].
The aſſertions of a libertine, who is not allow'd to ſwear to what he avers, will loſe their principal force, Lovel. vi. 95. [vii. 6].
Thoſe men who are moſt ready to reſent the Lye given them by a man, leaſt ſcruple, generally, to break the moſt ſolemn Oath to a woman, vi. 340. 342. [vii. 268. 270].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Libertine. Love. Lover. Veracity.
IT is ill truſting to the diſcretion of a Widow, whoſe fortune is in her own hands, iii. 372. [iv. 157].
That Widow is far engaged, who will quarrel with her child for treating with freedom the man who courts herſelf, iii. 383. [iv. 167].
A Widow's refuſal of a lover, is ſeldom ſo explicit as to exclude hope, iii. 386. [iv. 170].
The Widow who wants nothing but ſuperfluities, is eaſily attracted by thoſe gewgaws that are rare to be met with, ibid.
Widows ſhould be particularly careful, with whom they truſt themſelves at public entertainments and parties of pleaſure, v. 67. [316, 317].
To be a Widow in the firſt twelve months is, Lovelace ſays, one of the greateſt felicities that can happen to a fine woman, vi. 197. [vii. 117].
See Reflexions on Women.
No teſtator, that can avoid it, ſhould involve an Exe⯑cutor in a Law-ſuit, vi. 133. [vii. 48].
[213] It ought to be a Teſtator's ſtudy, to make his Execu⯑tors work as light as poſſible, vi. 280. vii. 187. [vii. 205. viii, 109].
Of all laſt Wills, thoſe of monarchs are generally leaſt regarded, vii. 194. [viii. 117].
Survivors cannot more charitably beſtow their time, than in a faithful performance of an Executorſhip, vii. 175. [viii. 94].
This laſt act ought not to be the laſt in compoſition or making; but ſhould be the reſult of cool delibera⯑and (as is more frequently than juſtly ſaid) of a ſound tion, mind and memory; which too ſeldom are to be met with but in ſound health, vii. 175. 269. [viii. 96. 194].
When a Teſtator gives his reaſons in his laſt Teſta⯑ment for what he wills, all cavils about words are ob⯑viated; the obliged are aſſured, and thoſe enjoy the be⯑nefit for whom the benefit was intended, vii. 175. 248. [viii. 96. 172].
I have for ſome time paſt, ſays Clariſſa, employ'd my⯑ſelf in putting down heads of my laſt Teſtament, which, as reaſons offer'd, I have alter'd and added to; ſo that I never was abſolutely deſtitute of a Will, had I been taken off ever ſo ſuddenly, vii. 175. [viii. 96].
The firſt reading of a Will, where a perſon dies worth any thing conſiderable, generally affords a true teſt of the relation's love to the deceaſed, vii. 195. [viii. 115].
What, but a fear of death (a fear, unworthy of a crea⯑ture who knows that he muſt one day as ſurely die as he was born) can hinder any one from making his laſt Will while he is in health, vii. 248. [viii. 172].
Perſons in making thier laſt Wills, ſhould conſider the pleaſure as well as the eaſe of their Executors, and not put a generous man upon doing what would give him pain, vii. 268. [viii. 193].
THERE is no glory in being proud of Talents, for the abuſe of which a man is anſwerable, and in the right uſe of which he can have no merit, Lovel. i. 191. [199].
Men who make a jeſt of ſacred or divine inſtitutions, [214] would often forbear, if they did not think their Licen⯑tiouſneſs Wit, ii. 107. [196].
Wit with gay men is one thing, with modeſt women another, iv. 146. [344].
That cannot be Wit, that puts a modeſt woman out of countenance, iv. 146. [345].
There is not ſo much Wit in wickedneſs, as Rakes are apt to imagine, iv. 147. [346].
The Wit of Libertines conſiſts moſtly in ſaying bold and ſhocking things, with ſuch courage as ſhall make the modeſt bluſh, the impudent laugh, and the innocent ſtare, iv. 147. See alſo i. 260. [iv. 346. See alſo i. 269].
Men who affect to be thought witty, are apt to treat the moſt ſerious ſubjects with levity, vi. 4. [342].
Free-livers are apt to miſtake wickedneſs for Wit, vi. 28. [357].
All the little nibblers in Wit, whoſe writings will not ſtand the teſt of criticiſm, make it a common cauſe to run down critics, vi. 100. [vii. 12].
Many things in converſation occaſion a roar of ap⯑plauſe, when the heart is open, and men are reſolved to be merry, which will neither bear repeating nor think⯑ing on afterwards, Belf. vii. 261. [viii. 186].
Common things in the mouth of a man we admire, and whoſe Wit has paſs'd upon us for ſterling, become, in a gay hour, uncommon, ibid.
See Imagination.
THE inflaming deſcriptions of Poets and Romance⯑writers, often put a youthful mind upon the ſcent for an object to exert its fancy upon;
In other words—Often create beauty, and place it where nobody elſe can find it, i. 190. [197, 198].
Romance-writers never forget to give their Heroine, a Cleanthe, a Violetta, a Clelia, or ſome ſuch pretty⯑named confidante, an old nurſe at leaſt, to help her out at a dead lift, ii. 78. [168].
Unnatural ſimilies, drawn by poetical lovers to illu⯑ſtrate beauty, rather depreciate than exalt it, ii. 289. [iii. 27].
[215] A perſon may not be a bad critic, tho' not himſelf a very excellent Writer, iii. 59. [201].
Our poets, Mr. Belford ſays, hardly know how to create a diſtreſs without horror, murder; and ſuicide; and think they muſt ſhock your ſouls to bring tears from your eyes, vi. 204. [vii. 124].
Female words, tho' of uncertain derivation, have ge⯑nerally very ſignificant meanings, vii. 67. [408, 409].
Early familiar Letter-writing is one of the greateſt openers and improvers of the mind that man or woman can be employed in, vii. 243. [viii. 167].
It is to be lamented that many eminent Writers, who are capable of exalting virtue, and of putting vice out of countenance, throw away their time upon ſubjects merely ſpeculative, diſintereſting, and unedifying, vii. 288. [viii. 214].
The ingenious authors of pieces of a light or indecent turn, which have a tendency to corrupt the morals of youth, to convey polluted images, or to wound religion, are diſhoneſt to their own talents, and ungrateful to the God who gave them thoſe talents, ibid.
LITTLE inducement has an headſtrong Youth to cor⯑rect a temper which gives him conſequence at home, i. 75. [78].
Young perſons ſhould be careful in giving advice to a young friend, in caſes where paſſion and prudence are concerned, i. 392. [ii. 83].
Young perſons, whoſe minds are not engaged by acts of kindneſs and condeſcenſion, will be put upon con⯑trivances, ii. 59. [150].
Youth is the time of life for imagination or fancy to work in: A Writer therefore, who would wiſh to pleaſe a judicious eye, will lay by his works written at that time, till experience ſhall direct the fire to glow rather than blaze out, ii. 61. [152].
Youth not qualified to judge for itſelf, is often above advice, ii. 77. [167].
[216] Young folks are ſometimes very cunning in finding out contrivances to cheat themſelves, ii. 229. iii. 120. [ii. 322. iii. 258].
It is a moſt improving exerciſe, as well with regard to ſtyle as to morals, to accuſtom ourſelves early to write down every thing of moment that befalls us, iii. 60. [203].
There is not ſo much bravery in youthful choler as young men imagine, iv. 96. [290].
In company where there are ſtrangers, it is right for young gentlemen, who would wiſh to be thought well of, to hear every one ſpeak before they allow themſelves to talk, vi. 100. [vii. 13].
See Duty. Education. Learning. Wit. Writers.
The Numerals, i, ii, iii, &c. denote the Volumes; the firſt Figures refer to the Octavo Edition; thoſe incloſed thus [ ] to the Firſt and ſubſequent Editions of the Twelves.
ABSENCE from the beloved object, is a cure for haſty love, vi. 224. [vii. 2 [...]4]. And the rather, if the object be worthy, vi. 226. [vii. 226]. If unworthy, and the female be prudent, preſence may ſooner effect the cure, as he will by it, the more expoſe himſelf, ibid.
THE eſſence of friendſhip is the liberty to be mutually allowed of remonſtrance, expoſtulation, advice, on oc⯑caſions that may affect the temporal and eternal welfare of a friend, iii. 40. [200].
[218] A prudent young man will benefit himſelf as much by the odiouſneſs of vice in a profligate character, as by the beauty of goodneſs in a virtuous one, iii. 40. [200].
Self-diffidence is often a weakneſs in young men, which ſuffers them to be influenced by men of talents in⯑ferior to their own, iii. 41. [201].
A young man of natural good principles muſt have his judgment miſled before he can allow himſelf in a deviation, iii. 42. [202].
But let him beware, ſince every faulty inclination has ſomething to plead in its own behalf, ibid.
Excuſes are more than tacit confeſſions, ibid.
The health of the mind, as of the body, is impaired by almoſt imperceptible degrees, ibid.
An honeſt young man cannot allow himſelf in medi⯑tated injuries to his fellow creatures of either ſex, ibid.
This is the true meaning of every man's Addreſs to the innocent creature he intends to ruin;
I love you, my deareſt life, above all women: Con⯑fide therefore in my honour, that I may deliver you over to ſhame and diſgrace in this life, and, as far as is in my power, to everlaſting perdition, iii. 43. [203].
Who in the leaſt guilty inſtance, and where ſome falſe virtue may hold out colours to palliate an exceſs, can pro⯑miſe himſelf to ſtop, when once he has thrown the reins on the neck of lawleſs appetite? ibid.
A good-natured young man is not always in his own power. He too often ſuffers himſelf to be a led man, ibid.
Would he chooſe his company anew, and be a leader, every virtue then that warms his heart, would have a ſiſter virtue to encourage the noble flame, inſtead of a vice to damp it, ibid.
Will a young man of condition ſit down ſatisfied with the honour of his anceſtors? ibid.
Shall not he whoſe family has given him cauſe to boaſt of their honour, give them cauſe to boaſt of his? ibid.
What right has a faulty man to declaim againſt the imperfections of women? ibid.
Who that can glory in the virtue of his own ſiſter, can [219] allow himſelf in attempts upon the chaſtity of the ſiſter, the daughter, of another? iii. 44. [204].
How can that crime be pardonable in a man, which renders a woman infamous? ibid.
A generous man will have motives ſuperior to the dread of human laws, to keep himſelf within the boun⯑daries of his duty, iii. 45. [205].
The laws were not made ſo much for the direction of good men, as to circumſcribe the bad, ibid.
Would a man of honour wiſh to be conſidered as one of the latter, rather than as one of thoſe who would have diſtinguiſhed the fit from the unfit, had they not been diſcriminated by human ſanctions? ibid.
Men are to approve themſelves at a higher tribunal, than that of men, ibid.
Shall not public ſpirit, virtue, and a ſenſe of duty, have as much influence on a manly heart, as a new face? ibid.
How contemptibly low is that commerce in which Mind has no ſhare! ibid.
Virtuous love looks beyond this temporary ſcene, ibid.
While guilty attachments uſually find a much earlier period than that of human life, ibid.
Inconſtancy on the one ſide or on the other, ſeldom fails to put a diſgraceful end to them? ibid.
But were they to endure for life, what can the re⯑flexions upon them do, towards the ſoftening the ago⯑nies of the inevitable hour? ibid.
Let it be remembred that man is a rational and im⯑mortal agent; and that it becomes him to act up to the dignity of his nature, ibid.
Can ſenſual pleaſure be the great end of an immortal ſpirit in this life? ibid.
That pleaſure cannot be laſting, and it muſt be fol⯑lowed by remorſe, which is obtained either by doing injuſtice to, or degrading, a fellow-creature, ibid.
And does not a woman, when ſhe forfeits her honour, degrade herſelf, not only in the ſight of the world, but even in the ſecret thoughts of a profligate lover, de⯑ſtroying her own conſequence with him? ibid.
[220] Build not upon atonements: It is nobler not to offend, than to be obliged to atone, iii. 46. [206].
There are innocent delights enow to fill with joy every vacant hour of life, ibid.
Goodneſs is the beſt cement of friendſhip, ibid.
Were the examples ſet by men purſuing guilty at⯑tachments to be generally followed, what would become of public order and decorum? What of national ho⯑nour? ibid.
How will a regular ſucceſſion in families be kept up? Shall the man who boaſts of his own deſcent deprive his children of the like diſtinction? ibid.
Good children are bleſſings to parents; but what com⯑fort can a parent have in children born into the world heirs of diſgrace? ibid.
And who, owing their very being to profligate prin⯑ciples, have no family honour to ſupport, no fair ex⯑ample to imitate, ibid.
But muſt be warned by their father, when bitter ex⯑perience has convinced him of his errors, to avoid the paths in which he has trodden? ibid.
How delightful is the domeſtic connexion!—For a ſon or brother to bring to the paternal or fraternal dwell⯑ing, a ſiſter, a daughter, that ſhall be received there with tender love! ibid.
To ſtrengthen a man's own intereſt in the world by alliance with ſome worthy family, who ſhall rejoice to truſt him with the darling of their hopes! ibid.
But can a man who lives a life of freedom, tho' but with one woman, think of introducing to the relations moſt near to him, the unhappy objects of a vagrant af⯑fection? iii. 47. [207].
Muſt not ſuch men eſtrange themſelves from their fa⯑mily, to conceal from their father, mother, ſiſters, bro⯑thers, children ſhut out by all the laws of honour from their ſociety? ibid.
The children ſo ſhut out, muſt hate the family to whoſe intereſts theirs are ſo contrary, ibid.
What ſincere union then, what ſameneſs of affection, can there be between ſuch a man, and the object of his paſſion? ibid.
[221] Does he flatter himſelf that his ſingle example can be of no great importance? Of what, may it, in anſwer, be aſked, is general practice made up? iii. 47. [207].
If every one were to offend in the inſtance moſt ſuited to his inclination, what a ſcene of horror would this world become! ibid.
Affluence, and a gay diſpoſition, tempt to libidinous pleaſures. Penury, and a gloomy one, to robbery, revenge, murder, ibid.
Not one enormity will be without its plea, if once the boundaries of duty are thrown down? ibid.
But even in this univerſal depravity, his crime who robbed me of my child, from inſtigations of riot and li⯑centiouſneſs. and under the guiſe of love and truſt, would be much worſe than his who deſpoiled me of my ſub⯑ſtance, and had neceſſity to plead in extenuation of his guilt, ibid.
There is ſuch a ſameneſs in the lives, the actions, the purſuits of avowed libertines; ſuch a likeneſs in the ac⯑cidents, puniſhments, and occaſions for remorſe, which attend them, that it is ſtrange, they are not warned by the beacons lighted up by every brother libertine at the concluſion of his ſhort ſtory; but will be ſo generally driven on the ſame rock, overſpread and ſurrounded as it is, in their very ſight, by a thouſand wrecks! v. 20. [291].
Did ſuch know, what a variety there is in goodneſs and beneficence, they would certainly alter their notions of pleaſure, and follow the example of thoſe who are an honour to ſociety, ibid.
See Extravagance. Good Man. Modeſty. Li⯑bertines. Magnanimity. Seduction.
CALAMITY, patiently ſupported, endears an inno⯑cent ſufferer to the generous heart, i. 16. [ibid].
Poor and rich, wiſe and unwiſe, are links of the ſame great chain, i. 55. [ibid].
Calamity is neceſſary to wean our hearts from a too great love of this world, i. 279. [ibid.]
[222] What an humbling thing is the conſciouſneſs of have⯑ing lived faultily, when Calamity ſeizes the heart! ii. 105. [206].
An unhappy perſon of merit has a kind of right to the good offices of ſuch of his friends as are leſs em⯑barraſſed, ii. 123. [224].
Perpetual ſummers would be a grievance, ii. 415. [iii. 159].
Happy is the man, who in diſtreſſes befalling himſelf, or friends, can acquit himſelf of the charge of having contributed to them, iii. 111. [271].
Undeſerved or unforeſeen Calamity, will endear a perſon tried with it, to a generous mind, more than pro⯑ſperity, iii. 125. [285].
It is God-like to raiſe the dejected and humbled ſpi⯑rit, iii. 220. [iv. 6].
Misfortune will weave a band of love which will bind fellow-ſufferers in one intereſt, iii. 230. [iv. 16].
In a heavy Calamity it is natural to look out of our⯑ſelves for the occaſion of it, when perhaps we ſhould look inward for it, iii. 294. [iv. 80].
The impatience of a perſon unhappy, claims the allow⯑ance of a conſiderate mind, iii. 294. [iv. 80].
It is a kind diſpenſation of Providence, that adver⯑ſity, ſo painful in itſelf, ſhould conduce ſo peculiarly as it does, to the improvement of the human mind, iii. 359. [iv. 145].
Diſappointment has mortified me, ſays Miſs Byron, and made me good-natured—I will welcome Adverſity, if it enlarge my charity, iii. 385. [iv. 171].
What is grandeur to a diſturbed heart? iii. 386. [iv. 172].
How much is that poor creature to be pitied, who, in Adverſity, is too ſhort-ſighted to look forward to that only conſolation which can weaken the force of worldly diſappointments, iv. 171. [v. 42].
Adverſity is the trial of principle: Without it, a man hardly knows whether he is an honeſt man, iv. 196. [v. 67].
Ill-news obliges us to look around us for conſolation, iv. 233. [v. 104].
[223] How little do we know of ourſelves till the hour of trial comes! iv. 243. [v. 114].
The good man, who cannot be ſo happy as he wiſhes to be, will conſider himſelf as in the hands of Provi⯑dence, and not give himſelf up to unmanly deſpair, iv. 295. 306. [v. 166. 177].
It is difficult, at the inſtant of forfeiting ſome darling hope, to avoid impatience; which, however, can per⯑haps be juſtified only by ſelf-partiality, iv. 312. [v. 183].
The man who behaves well in Adverſity, muſt not, generally, be one, who by his own extravagance, has re⯑duced himſelf from an affluence to which he was born, to a ſtate of obligation and dependence, iv. 398. [v. 269].
A man in diſtreſs ſhould convince his friends, from whom he expects relief, that the juſt man is not ſunk in the man in Adverſity, iv. 399. [v. 270].
An unhappy man will take care, that he aſk favours only that ought to be granted, ibid.
Happy is the man, whoſe pity for a deſponding ac⯑quaintance, is unmixed with ſelf-arraignment, v. 19. [290].
Since Calamity rightly ſupported, is a bleſſing, one would hardly wiſh a ruined perſon, who has by it been made ſenſible of his errors, to be again tempted by more than competence, v. 22. [293].
The conſciouſneſs of integrity, and a firm truſt in Providence, will carry a perſon through the greateſt dif⯑ficulties, v. 235. [vi. 213].
What muſt be the heart that melts not at another's woe! v. 243. [vi. 221].
Soothing and indulgence ſometimes add to our imbe⯑cility of mind, inſtead of ſtrengthening our reaſon, v. 244. [vi. 222].
We ſometimes want trials to make us ſupport ourſelves with outward fortitude at leaſt, v. 244. [vi. 222].
The irrevocableneſs of an event will cure a diſturbed mind, when nothing elſe can, v. 246. [vi. 224].
Happy the man, who when Calamity aſſails him, can ſay, ‘"This I have not brought upon myſelf. It is an inevitable evil. A Diſpenſation of Providence. I will ſubmit to it as ſuch,"’ vi. 79. [vii. 79].
[224] The neareſt evil to perſons in diſtreſs, ſeems the heavieſt. To avoid that, they often fall into greater, vi. 281. [vii. 281].
See Conſolation. Grief.
MEN, were women to give them importance with them, would be generally greater infringers of their natural liberty, than the moſt ſevere parents, i. 13. [ibid].
New faces are more ſought after at public places, than fine faces conſtantly ſeen, i. 17. [ibid].
Women ſhould not in converſation make an oſtentation of knowlege: But frankneſs and complaiſance require, that when called upon, they ſhould deliver their ſenti⯑ments with freedom, i. 19. [ibid].
An ungenerous man will take conſequence to himſelf for the diſtinction paid him by a lady, inſtead of being grateful to her for it in marriage, i. 20. [ibid].
Women have more to loſe with regard to reputation, than men, i. 26. [ibid].
The Hyaena is both male and female. The male is the more dangerous, ſince he will come into the houſes of women, fawn, cringe, lick their hands; while the den of the female is by the highway-ſide, and wretched youths muſt enter into it of their own accord, to put it into her power to devour them, ibid.
The chief ſtrength of men lies in the weakneſs of women, ibid.
Women ſhould not add to the triumph of thoſe who make their weakneſs the general ſubject of their ſatire, ibid.
If women guard againſt themſelves, they may bid de⯑fiance to all the arts of man, ibid.
Whoſe leavings are they, that a virtuous woman takes, who marries a profligate? i. 27. [ibid].
The only merit a rake can have with a worthy wo⯑man, is, that he holds out a warning to her againſt men of ſo bad a nature, ibid.
A woman who, with her eyes open, marries a profli⯑gate man, generally, as to herſelf, defeats the good end of ſociety, i. 28. [ibid].
[225] What a preſumptuous riſque runs ſhe, of her own principles, who marries a wicked man in hopes to reclaim him! i. 28. [ibid].
Evil communication corrupts good manners, a caution truly apoſtolical, ibid.
The man is to be ſuſpected, who, though not avow⯑ing free principles himſelf, ſeems to enjoy the mad talk of thoſe who do, i. 29. [ibid].
Men who allow themſelves in freedoms of ſpeech be⯑fore modeſt women, as it is preſumed they intend not to affront them, muſt think modeſty in the ſex only a pre⯑tenſion, ibid.
A woman of ſenſe will not chooſe a man for his per⯑ſon only; and who wants the mind, to the direction of which ſhe can ſubmit, i. 37. [ibid].
A good woman who means to perform her marriage vow, will ſcruple to marry a man whoſe want of know⯑ledge may make her ſtagger in the performance of her duty to him, ibid.
And who would, perhaps, command from caprice or defect of underſtanding, what ſhe would think unreaſon⯑able to be complied with, ibid.
A worthy woman will find a pleaſure in giving up her own judgment in things indifferent, to a man who is older and wiſer than herſelf, ibid.
Doubt of an huſband's merit introduces diſreſpect; and what but diſobedience, which lets in every evil, follows? ibid.
Twenty four is a prudent age for women to marry at [for their own ſakes] i. 46. [ibid].
Women who can ſigh for a coxcomb, deſerve either a great deal of pity, or none at all, i. 82. [ibid].
A woman muſt ſeldom expect to be the wife of a man with whom ſhe is firſt in love, if ſhe let him know it, ibid.
Every woman ſhould have her heart in her own keep⯑ing, till ſhe find a worthy man to beſtow it upon, ibid.
Women, by their over quickneſs, ſometimes encou⯑rage a man to own a meaning that he would be other⯑wiſe afraid to avow, i. 99. [ibid].
Let him who has no other plea to make to a lady [226] for her favour, but his love, be aſked, If that plea would weigh with him in favour of a woman who ſhould be in love with him, i. 116. [ibid].
A man who can treat gaily the paſſion of love in pre⯑ſence of the object, will not be greatly hurt by a diſap⯑pointment, i. 150. [ibid].
If a woman marry not till ſhe is twenty-four, ſhe will have time to look about her, and having more lovers than one, be enabled to chooſe without having reaſon to charge herſelf with haſtineſs, i. 151. [ibid].
A woman ſhould be afraid to engage with a man who thinks too highly of her before-hand, ibid.
A woman in chooſing an huſband, ſhould conſider, whether, in caſe of a contrariety of ſentiments, ſhe can give up her judgment in points indifferent, from the opinion ſhe has of his, i. 152. [ibid].
A prudent woman, doubtful of a return in love, will, in policy, place before her the imperfections rather than the perfections, of the man ſhe could love, i. 261. [ibid].
Men are apt to think that women's hearts are made of combuſtible materials: It behoves women, for the honour of their ſex, to convince them of the contrary, i. 274. [ibid].
A man's kind behaviour to his dependents, is an ar⯑gument in favour of his general character, i. 300. [ibid].
A dutiful ſon gives very promiſing hopes of making a good huſband, i. 302. [ibid].
Women who wiſh to be thought well of themſelves, ſhould diſcourage every reflexion from men that tends to debaſe the ſex in general, i. 327. [ii. 12].
A modeſt and prudent woman will not ſuffer, unre⯑buked, a man to boaſt of his vileneſs to any one of her ſex, ibid.
If women would diſcourage immodeſt men, ſhame, if not principle, would amend them, i. 331. [ii. 16].—And principle might take root in policy or convenience, ii. 319. [iii. 63].
Youth, health, and a flow of ſpirits, ſhould make a woman watchful over herſelf, i. 411. [ii. 96].
The love of admiration often involves women in great difficulties, ii. 17. [118].
[227] Women who chooſe for a huſband, a man who is ge⯑nerally admired, muſt hardly expect him to be a domeſtic man, ii. 29. [130].
Young women ſhould diſtinguiſh between the would and the ſhould, ii. 127. [228].
Women of ſenſe ſhould deſpiſe thoſe men who ſeek by flattery and pertneſs, to commend themſelves to their favour, ii. 159. [260].
Women who have foibles which they chooſe not to part with, ſhould conſider in their choice of a huſband, which of their lovers, if they have more than one, will bear with them, which will expect to be borne with, ii. 159. 161. [260. 262].
The woman who would not incur diſgrace and be un⯑happy, ſhould not put herſelf out of her own power, ii. 179. [280].
All men love to-have difficulties to conquer in court⯑ſhip, ii. 195. [296].
Hope, or a ſtate of doubt, gives an ardor to a lover, which ſubſides in certainty, ii. 203. [304].
The woman who chuſes a rake for a huſband does not conſider that all the ſprightly airs for which ſhe pre⯑ferred him to a better man, either vaniſh in matrimony, or are exhibited to other women, to her mortal diſquiet, ii. 204. [305].
In other words—He will carry abroad the agreeable, bring home the diſagreeable, ibid.
If he reform (and yet bad habits are very difficult to ſhake off) he will probably from reflexions on his paſt guilty life, be an unſociable companion, ſhould deep contrition have laid hold on him, ibid.
If he does not reform, what has ſhe choſen? ibid.
A rake marries not from honeſt principles. He is a deſpiſer of matrimony: A rake in paſſion is not a man in love. His love deſerves a vile name; and it will be too probable, that, in his eyes, a lewd woman will excel his modeſt wife, ibid.
The good man, not the lewd the obſcene libertine, foul Harpy, glorying in his wickedneſs, is the man whom good women ſhould diſtinguiſh by their favour. Shall not like turn to like? ii. 312. [iii. 56].
[228] A young flame may be eaſily kept under, iii. 69. [229].
A woman ſhould not permit her lover to find his weight in her levity, iii. 73. [233].
Men of great abilities are not always to be truſted. They ſeldom ſtrike, till they are ſure, iii. 84. [244].
A prudent woman will not put it in any man's power to prejudice her againſt perſons of unexceptionable cha⯑racters, iii. 84. [244].
The woman who has been once wrong, has reaſon to be always afraid of herſelf, iii. 101. [261].
Good men muſt be affectionate men, iii. 223. [iv. 9].
A woman of ſenſe will not want to be perſuaded to do a thing ſhe knows in her heart to be right, tho' not entirely agreeable to her liking, iii. 242. [iv. 28].
There hardly can be a greater difference between any two men, than there too often is, between the ſame man, a lover and a huſband, iii. 347. [iv. 133].
Lovers of unequal fortunes often endeavour to en⯑gage young ladies to fight their battles for them with their natural friends; making them, by that means, their cat's paw, to help them to the ready-roaſted cheſ⯑nuts, iii. 358. [iv. 144].
If we women, ſays Lady G. as they ſay of horſes, knew our own ſtrength, and could have a little more patience than we generally have, we might do what we would with the powerleſs lords of the creation, iv. 251. [v. 122].
A dutiful ſon, an affectionate brother, a faithful friend, muſt give a moral aſſurance of making an excellent huſband, vi. 29. [vii. 29].
See the articles Artful Men. Beauty. Compliments. Courtſhip. Daughter. Female Dignity. Frank⯑neſs of Heart. Huſband and Wife. Learned Women. Libertines. Love. Lover. Love at firſt Sight. Firſt Love. Matrimonial Bickerings. Men and Women. Modeſty. Proteſtations. Single Women. Step-mother. Vincibility of Love. Widows.
AFFECTED ignorance cannot be either graceful, or a proof of delicacy, i. 50. [ibid].
[229] Affectation is the only quality that can warrant ridi⯑cule, i. 55. [ibid].
Travelling ſeldom cures Affectation, i. 56. [ibid].
There are ſome caſes in which it is hardly poſſible for a woman to avoid Affectation, ii. 189. [290].
What is the veil an affected woman throws over her⯑ſelf, but a veil of gauze? iii. 12. [172].
See Frankneſs of Heart. Ingenuouſneſs. Since⯑rity.
AGE. See Youth.
A PRUDENT perſon, who ſuffers in his after-regret, from a ſudden violence of Paſſion will be very careful to reſtrain its future firſt ſallies, i. 290. [ibid].
Anger has often its root in love, ii. 386. [iii. 130].
Perſons not willing to do right things, are apt to cenſure for officiouſneſs the interpoſition of their beſt friends, iii. 236. [iv. 22].
Haſty perſons, while warm with a recent miſunder⯑ſtanding, will not bear to be expoſtulated with, ibid.
All angry perſons are to be treated by the prudent, as children, ibid.
Women were given to delight, not to torment, men; and there are very few cauſes that can juſtify their vio⯑lent anger, iii. 237. [iv. 23].
People in a Paſſion lay themſelves under obligation to thoſe who bear with them, which they will not be ge⯑nerous, if they do not repay, iii. 241. [iv. 27].
Wrath ought not to be ſo ready, as ſometimes it is, to attend a female will, iii. 244. [iv. 30].
Forced civility is but a temporary one, iii. 273. [iv. 59].
A lively, good-natured woman will ſometimes be able to ſmile her huſband out of his Anger, iii. 306. [iv. 92].
Women, who ought to be the meekeſt and tendereſt of the whole animal creation, debaſe themſelves when they give way to paſſionate exceſſes, iv. 5. [177].
[230] To what mean ſubmiſſion does after-reflexion ſubject a paſſionate man, who has given way to rage, and is not wholly ungenerous! iv. 383. [v. 254].
What a miſchievous ſovereign would the private man make, who gives no check to the violence of his temper! iv. 384, 385. [v. 255. 256].
Let ſuch a one look into hiſtory, and ſee which of the characters that have ſullied royalty by the violence of their wrath, he would wiſh to copy, iv. 385. [v. 256].
Paſſion is ſo ugly, ſo deforming a thing, that a pru⯑dent perſon will be careful not to be ſeen in it by thoſe he loves, v. 94. [vi. 72].
Meekneſs offended has an excellent memory, and can be bitter, v. 153. [vi. 131].
Ill-will diſables us from ſeeing thoſe advantages and good qualities in the perſon who is the object of it, which would otherwiſe ſtrike us in their favour, v. 260. [vi. 238].
The man we can pity, cannot eaſily provoke us, v. 290. [vi. 268].
See The Paſſions. Prudence.
THE Man who can raiſe an emulation in more wo⯑men than one for him, gives himſelf conſequence at their expence, ii. 167. [268].
Women, before they are aware, are often entangled by the arts of men, ii. 167. 170. [268. 271].
Men take pains in courtſhip to gloſs over in them⯑ſelves thoſe defects which they think would, if diſcover⯑ed, be moſt unfavourable to their views, ii. 163. [274].
Men gain all their advantages over women, by teaz⯑ing, by vows, by importunities, ii. 167. [278].
An artful man has many ways to entangle a tender heart, without making open declarations of love, iii. 273. [iv. 59].
See Compliments. Courtſhip. Daughter. Libertine.
Lover. Modeſty. Proteſtations. Seduction.
IT is eaſy from ſmall crevices to diſcover day in the heart of an artful woman, ii. 333. [iii. 77].
Nothing can be weaker in the eye of an obſerver, who himſelf diſdains Artifice, than a woman who makes Artifice her ſtudy, ibid.
In a woman's departure from honeſt nature, there will be ſuch curvings, as that the eyes, the countenance, will generally betray the heart, ibid.
And if ſhe either breaks out into uncalled-for apolo⯑gies, or affects undue reſerve, ſhe gives room to confirm the ſuſpicion, that all is not right in the mind, ibid.
A woman who has a command of countenance, is ever to be ſuſpected, ii. 374. [iii. 78].
See Femalities. Keepers, &c.
SELF is often a ſanctifier of actions, which in others we ſhould have no doubt to condemn, ii. 257. [iii. 1].
Avarice thinks itſelf unſafe, if it do not wrap itſelf about in a general denial of good offices, ii. 313. [iii. 57].
Men of the world, meaning to ſerve themſelves only, never take pains to find out worthy attachments, ii. 322. [iii. 66].
They imagine every-body they have to do with, has the ſame views upon them, that they have upon others; and are in a ſtate of hoſtility with all men, miſtruſting and guarding; and not doubting being impoſed upon, were they to place a confidence in any man, ibid.
Thoſe who wiſh for the death of relations, for the ſake of enjoying what they ſhall leave behind them, are governed by the ſame principles, as ſavages on the ſea-coaſt, who look out impatiently for a wreck, ii. 388. [iii. 132].
No plea is too weak for folly, and ſelfiſhneſs, to inſiſt upon, ii. 408. [iii. 152].
Covetous men, when their hearts are opened, will ſometimes act nobly, iii. 335. [iv. 121].
The requeſter of a favour often ſhews as much ſelfiſh⯑neſs [232] in his application, as the refuſer does in his denial, iv. 147. [v. 18].
Thoſe who will not be ſatisfied with a competence, will not with a redundance, iv. 227. [v. 98].
The man who prefers not the happineſs of the object beloved, to his own, may be ſaid to be in love with him⯑ſelf more than with her, vi. 77. 82, 83. [vii. 77. 82, 83]. [See Self-Partiality.
A BEAUTIFUL woman muſt expect to be more account⯑able for her ſteps, than one leſs attractive, i. 1. [ibid].
Women, too generally are more ſollicitous about the Beauties of perſon than thoſe of the mind, i. 3. [ibid].
The bloom of Beauty holds but a few years—Should not therefore a woman aim to make herſelf miſtreſs of thoſe perfections, which will dignify her advanced age? i. 18. vi. 29. [i. 18. vii. 29].
Chearfulneſs, and a contented mind, make a difference to advantage of half a dozen years, even in the counte⯑nance of a young perſon, i. 45, 46. [ibid].
Plain women, by cultivating their minds, may obtain a preference with the worthy to mere Beauty, i. 52. ii. 387. [i. 52. iii. 151].
What advantages, in the eyes of weak people, has folly in a pretty woman, over even wiſdom in a plain one! i. 78. [ibid].
Beauty in a man ought not to be looked upon as a qualification, i. 254. [ibid].
A beautiful face is one of the Almighty's wonders in a little compaſs, i. 103. [ibid].
Agreeableneſs is preferable to mere Beauty, i. 255. [ibid].
In the character of a fine woman, mind ſhould be always included, i. 333. [ii. 18].
Where Beauty and Goodneſs meet, they adorn each other, i. 396. [ii. 77].
Thoſe parents muſt want virtue, who depend princi⯑pally on the Beauty of their children, for their prefer⯑ment, ii. 91. [192].
[233] Vice turns Beauty into deformity, ii. 278. [iii. 22].
Beauty is an accidental and tranſient good, iii. 312. [iv. 98].
A wiſe man, in beholding a beautiful woman, will diſtinguiſh between admiration and love, ibid.
Beauty of perſon only, will have no higher an influence in a found and manly heart, in a view to marriage, than what it receives from the flowers of a gay parterre, v. 99. [vi 77].
A generous expanſion of heart, and frankneſs of man⯑ners, mingled with dignity, will far more recommend a woman to a man of ſenſe, than Beauty, v. 189. [vi 167].
See Modeſty.
A BENEVOLENT-MINDED man may be led into errors and raſhneſs, even by the warmth of his Benevolence, i. 370. [ii. 55].
Good oeconomy is very compatible with Beneficence, ii. 30. [131].
The charities which a good man will wiſh to pro⯑mote, are,
To give little fortunes to young maidens in marriage with honeſt men of their own degree;—
To extend his munificence to the induſtrious poor of all perſuaſions, reduced by age, infirmity, or accident;—
To thoſe who labour under incurable maladies;—
And to the youth of either ſex, who are capable of beginning the world with advantage, but have not the means; ii. 273. [iii. 17].
The man who eſteems not Benevolence in another, wants it himſelf; ii. 346. [iii. 90].
Such is the bleſſing of a benevolent heart, that, let the world frown as it will, it cannot poſſibly bereave it of all happineſs; ſince it can rejoice in the proſperity of others, iii. 36. [196].
A feeling heart is a bleſſing, that no man who has it would be without, iii. 214. [374].
It is alſo a moral ſecurity of innocence; ſince the [234] heart that can partake of the diſtreſs of another, cannot wilfully give it, iii. 214. [374].
The bare mention of a behaviour greatly generous, in another, will warm and diſcover a beneficent heart, iii. 285. [iv. 71].
Oſtentation will ſhew itſelf in the Beneficence of per⯑ſons not accuſtomed to acts of generoſity, iii. 325. [iv. 111].
Policy, oſtentation, love of praiſe, will frequently in⯑duce a perſon, tho' not naturally beneficent, to do bene⯑ficent things, iv. 147. [v. 18.]
Goodneſs and Beneficence bring with them their own rewards, v. 17. [288].
The good man's charity is not extended indiſcriminate⯑ly to all that aſk him, v. 162. [vi. 140].
Among the objects of it, are thoſe who have fallen from competence: Such as ſtruggle with inſtant di⯑ſtreſs: Thoſe who have large families, and not ability to maintain them.—But beggars born, or ſuch as make begging a trade, if in health, or not lame, old or blind, have ſeldom any ſhare in his Beneficence, ibid.
Poor houſekeepers, with large families, and the la⯑bouring and induſtrious poor, who are aſhamed to ap⯑ply, and, ſuch as, if they did, cannot be importunate, are alſo the objects of a good man's charity, and he will cauſe them to be fought out for, on all proper occaſions, v. 372. [vi. 350].
See Example. Generoſity. Good Man. Hoſpital for Female Penitents. Pity. Proteſtant Nunne⯑ries.
BENEVOLENCE. See Beneficence.
COMPLIANCE with a requeſt, and reflexion caſt upon the requeſter, are not to be coupled, i. 336. [ii. 21].
Pecuniary ſurprizes, oſtentatiouſly made, are double taxes on the gratitude of a worthy heart, iii. 251. [iv. 37].
Pride, vain glory, muſt be the motives of narrow-minded benefactors, ibid.
[235] It is enough for a generous mind to labour under the ſenſe of obligation, iii. 251. [iv. 37].
A truly beneficent ſpirit cannot take delight in the grateful emotions of a fellow-creature, who, but for unfortunate accidents, would perhaps have ſhewn a more graceful Benevolence, ibid.
When narrow-minded or humourſome perſons are brought to taſte the ſweets of doing a worthy action, they will ſometimes act nobly, iv. 146. [v. 17].
We ſhould not therefore too ſoon, and without make⯑ing proper applications, give up perſons of ability and fortune, on haſty conceptions, formed upon their ge⯑neral characters, ibid.
BIRTH. See Vanity.
CALAMITY. See Adverſity.
IT is difficult for a young woman to avoid blame, when her relations reſolve to be Cenſorious, i. 251. [ibid].
We ſhould be cautious in cenſuring the actions of another, eſpecially of a good perſon, for which we can⯑not account, ii. 10. [111].
The truly good cannot be either cenſorious or un⯑charitable, ii. 319. [iii. 63].
Men who correct not their own errors, have no right to find fault with others, ii. 325. [iii. 69].
We ought to put ourſelves in the ſituation of the per⯑ſons of whoſe actions we preſume to judge, iii. 158. [318].
Cenſorious people frequently give cauſe of ſuſpicion, that their obſervations have either coſt them their charity or their innocence, v. 226. [vi. 204].
See Charity in Judgment. Good Man.
A TRULY brave man will not be ſo much a coward, as to fear being branded for one, for refuſing to accept [236] a challenge; the conſequence of which muſt probably be murder [and everlaſting perdition] i. 291. [ibid].
Such a one will not live to the world; but to the monitor within him, ibid.
What is the magnanimity of the man that cannot get above the vulgar breath, ibid.
How many fatherleſs, brotherleſs, ſonleſs families have mourned all their lives, the ſavage reſort to the private ſword! ibid.
A man who, in a private quarrel, defies his fellow⯑creature into the field, muſt firſt defy his God: And what are his hopes, but to be a murderer; and to do an irreparable injury to the innocent family and dependents of the murdered? ibid.
Has the Challenger friends whom he loves? who love him? Enemies to whom his fall would give pleaſure? let him reſolve to diſappoint the latter, and to gratify the former, i. 292. [ibid].
Where is the ſenſe of giving a chance to a ſup⯑poſed injurer to do you and yours a ſtill greater, even the higheſt, injury? i. 293. [ibid].
A man of honour ought not to put upon a foot with himſelf, a Challenger, who has been guilty of a baſeneſs [to him, or his friend] ibid.
A man's life is not his own; much leſs is that of another his, ibid.
A wife and good man will only ſeek to defend him⯑ſelf from inſult or attack; he will not wiſh to kill or maim any man, ibid.
He will as much deſpiſe the man who thinks different⯑ly, as ſuch a one can him, ibid.
It is not a point of bravery to inſult magiſtracy, i. 313. [ibid].
Much leſs for a man to take upon himſelf to be his own judge; and, as it may happen, another man's exe⯑cutioner, ibid.
It is the higheſt inſtance of bravery, to be able to re⯑fuſe a Challenge, and yet be fearleſs of inſult on the refuſal, i. 314. [ibid].
How truly brave is the man, who can ſay on a Chal⯑lenge, ‘"I conſider myſelf as a mortal man: I can [237] die but once: Once I muſt die: And if the cauſe be ſuch as will juſtify me to my heart, I, for my own ſake, care not whether my life be demanded of me to-morrow, or forty years hence?"’ i. 314. [ibid].
A good man will not be defied into a cool and deli⯑berate vengeance, i. 341. [ii. 26].
He will own no laws of honour but thoſe of God and his country, ibid.
He will ſhew a Challenger that he has better motives than fear, for his refuſal to meet him, i. 342. [ii. 27].
A good man will not play with another man's life, nor conſent to make a ſport of his own, i. 353. [ii. 38].
The man who can think of juſtifying one violent action by another, muſt give a real ſuperiority to his adverſary, ibid.
A man who can be overcome by a generous adverſa⯑ry, is himſelf a conqueror, i. 360. [ii. 45].
Every opportunity that a man, who has compromiſed with an adverſary, has, to exert his good qualities, or to repent of his bad, will contribute to his ſatisfaction to the end of his life, i. 361. [ii. 46].
A brave man challenged, will rely on his own inno⯑cence, and hope by generoſity to overcome a generous man, iii. 204. [364].
See Duelling. Fencing. Good Man.
CHASTITY is the crown and glory of a woman, ii. 332. [iii. 76].
How unhappy muſt be the unchaſte mother, whoſe very tenderneſs to her illegitimate offspring, reminds her of her guilt, iii. 283. [iv. 69].
Yet what a creature muſt ſhe be, who has not tender⯑neſs to innocence born to ſhame from her fault! ibid.
When women of family and education forfeit their characters, they double their crime, iii. 284. [iv. 70].
What is Chaſtity only? She who will not be virtu⯑tuous for virtue's ſake, is not worthy to be called a wo⯑man, iii. 351. [iv. 137].
She muſt be virtuous for her huſband's ſake, for the [238] ſake of her vows; for the ſake of her eternal welfare: But to be a good wife, ſhe muſt alſo be complaiſant, obliging, obedient, iii. 351. [iv. 137].
The honour of a woman celebrated for virtue, is the honour of her ſex, v. 11. [282].
How can the woman, who has yielded up her chaſti⯑ty, and is forced upon the violator as his wife, by way of doing her poor juſtice, expect to be happy? v. 19. [290].
What affiance can her huſband have in her virtue, were ſhe to meet with a trial? v. 20. [291].
What weight with him can her arguments have, were ſhe to endeavour to inculcate upon him a regard either to his public or private duties? ibid.
A gloomy mind muſt occaſionally receive great con⯑ſolation from the ſoothings of a companionable love, when known to proceed from an untainted heart, ibid.
See Advice to Women. Good Man. Good Wife, or Woman.
CHARITY. See Beneficence.
IN our judgments of men, we muſt throw their me⯑rits into one ſcale, their demerits into the other; and if the former weigh down the latter, we muſt, in charity, pronounce to the perſon's advantage, ii. 202. [303]
So, it is humbly preſumed, we ſhall be finally judged ourſelves; for who is faultleſs? ibid.
Charitable and great minds, however differing in ſome even eſſential articles of religion, will mingle hearts, and love each other, vi. 222. [vii. 222].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man. Mag⯑nanimity.
COMMUNICATIVENESS. See Concealment.
COMPASSION. See Pity.
A WOMAN exalted above what ſhe can deſerve, has reaſon to be apprehenſive were ſhe to put it in a man's power to treat her but as what ſhe is, i. 12. [ibid].
A high Complimenter is to be both feared and de⯑ſpiſed [239] by a woman; deſpiſed, either for his injudiciouſ⯑neſs, or flattery; feared, left he ſhould be able to raiſe a vanity in her, that would give him cauſe to triumph over her weakneſs, at the time that ſhe is full of her own wiſdom, ibid.
Flattery is the vice of men, who ſeek to raiſe them⯑ſelves on the ruins of the pride they hope either to find or inſpire, in women, i. 18. [ibid].
Humility beſt becomes a flattered woman of all wo⯑men, ibid.
She who is puffed up by the praiſes of men, anſwers their end upon her, and ſeems to own that ſhe thinks it a principal part of hers, to be admired by them, ibid.
No wonder that men in general think meanly of wo⯑men who have ears to hear, and folly to be pleaſed with, the frothy things that paſs their lips under the name of compliments, i. 21. [ibid].
Diſqualifying ſpeeches on being complimented, inti⯑mate either that we believe the complimenter to be in earneſt; or that we want to have the Compliment repeat⯑ed or confirmed, i. 22. [ibid].
A prudent woman will not accept of a Compliment made her at the expence of her ſex, i. 38. 49. ii 404. [i. 38. 49. iii. 148].
A prudent woman will not think herſelf either wiſer or handſomer for the Compliments made her by men, i. 41. 95. 113. [ibid].
Flatters endeavour to turn a woman's artillery againſt her, and to raiſe her up, in order to pull her down, i. 48. [ibid].
There are not many men who can make a Compli⯑ment to one woman without depreciating others; or the ſex, i. 319. iv. 174. [ii. 4. v. 45].
Women generally hunger and thirſt after Compli⯑ments. If men are not at hand to flatter them, they will [apiſhly] flatter one another, i. 329. [ii. 14].
Compliments made to the heart, by one who is not uſed to flatter, and ſuch as it would be culpable for a perſon not to be able to verify, ſhould not be diſclaimed, i. 393. [ii. 78].
How painful is it to a mind not quite at eaſe, to be [240] obliged to be civil to a profuſe Complimenter, who muſt think as highly of himſelf, as meanly of the perſon to whom he is addreſſing his Flatteries! ii. 2. [103].
The man who makes a Compliment to the beauty only of a woman of ſenſe, depreciates her underſtanding, ibid.
A good man will not flatter either a prince, or a lady; yet will not be rude to either, ii. 161. [262].
Faults complimented into virtues, joining with ſelf⯑partiality, may be of pernicious conſequence to the party ſo flattered, iii. 5. [105].
A man of ſenſe has no need to depreciate one wo⯑man, in order to do juſtice to, or exalt, another, v. 118, 119. [vi. 96, 97].
Silly men, not knowing what to ſay with propriety to women, whom they take it into their heads to compli⯑ment, make angels [or ſuns or ſtars] of them all at once, v. 225. [vi. 203].
The higheſt Compliments to women are ever made by men of the loweſt underſtanding, ibid.
Complimental men don't conſider, that if the woman they egregiouſly flatter, were what they would have them believe they think them, they would not be ſeen in ſuch company as theirs, ibid.
See Artful Men. Modeſty. Proteſtations. Se⯑duction.
IN ſome love caſes, downright Compulſion is more tolerable than over earneſt entreaty. A child compelled, may be hardened, may contract herſelf within her own compaſs: But the entreaty of friends, who undoubtedly mean the child's good, renders her miſerable, whether ſhe does, or does not comply, v. 260, 261. [vi. 238, 239].
Our own choice makes that tolerable, which otherwiſe would be inſupportable, vi. 223. 242. [vii. 223. 242].
Perſuaſion againſt inclination, ought to be conſidered as a degree of Compulſion, vi. 242. [vii. 242].
Had even the noble Clementina been entreated to re⯑fuſe the Chevalier Grandiſon, in all probability ſhe [241] would not have been ſo happy as ſhe was, when finding herſelf abſolute miſtreſs of the queſtion, ſhe could aſtoniſh and ſurprize every one by her magnanimity, vi. 242. [vii. 242].
See Indulgence. Love. Parents and Children. Per⯑ſuaſion.
HUSBANDS are generally the wiſer for what their wives know of other women's ſecrets, [tho' their wives can keep their own] i. 265. [ibid].
Young women, in a beginning love, are willing to conceal themſelves, even from themſelves, i. 299. [ibid].
An earneſt denial of a love-affair, or an officious eva⯑ſion, often defeats the perſon's own end, and ſtrengthens the conjectures intended to be weakened, i. 396. [ii. 81].
Women, Lady G. ſays, have their free-maſonry as well as men, i. 401. [ii. 86].
A perſon who owes to another's frankneſs of heart, the knowledge of any Secret of that heart, ſhould make a generous uſe of it, i. 404. [ii. 89].
A perſon conſulting or adviſing with another on an intricate caſe, ſhould lay before that other every parti⯑cular that is neceſſary to enable him to form a judg⯑ment of it, ii. 8. [109].
When we are ſolicitous to keep a ſecret, the ſlighteſt hint will alarm us, ii. 9. [110].
Love reigns in the heart with the greater force for be⯑ing concealed, ii. 52. [153].
Concealment generally implies ſomewhat wrong, ii. 61. [162].
There are ſome ſort of Secrets, out of which a wo⯑man wiſhes to be courted, ii. 155. [256].
We ſhould not obtain lights from any one, which we think he is not commiſſioned to give, ii. 258. [iii. 2].
It is not in woman, in love caſes, to be unreſerved; nor perhaps ought they to be indiſcriminately ſo, ii. 277. [iii. 21].
[242] A good man has but few Secrets, ii. 282. [iii. 26].
There is a time in which two young perſons of dif⯑ferent ſexes, and families, brought up, as it were, toge⯑ther, will find it prudent for diſtance to take place of innocent familiarity; and to draw into their hearts, that kindneſs and love which uſed to dwell on the lips of each; altho' the love may increaſe with the reſerve, ii. 307, 308. [iii. 51, 52].
The mutual unboſoming of Secrets, is the cement of friendſhip and love, iii. 81. [241].
Whenever any new light opens in an intereſting caſe, the friendly heart reſts not till it has communicated to its fellow-heart, the important change, ibid.
And this communicativeneſs knits the true lover's knot the cloſer, ibid.
No conſideration is ſtrong enough to induce any one to endeavour to make a worthy perſon reveal the ſecrets he is intruſted with, iii. 313. [iv. 99].
It is a bad ſign, when a perſon is more willing to conceal a fault than to amend it, iii. 330. [iv. 116].
We young girls, ſays Emily, if we put our hands be⯑fore our eyes, are apt to imagine that nobody can ſee us, vi. 90. [vii. 90].
An open heart acquainted with a Secret, the know⯑lege of which muſt afflict its friend, will be ſenſible of a tender pain, in longing, yet being afraid, to reveal it, vi. 134. [vii. 134].
How loth is ſuch a heart to diſturb the tranquillity, which is built upon ignorance of the event! that very tranquillity (contemplated upon) adding to the pains of the compaſſionating friend, who reflects, that when the unhappy news ſhall be communicated, time, and chriſtian philoſophy only, will ever reſtore it to the heart of the ſufferer, ibid.
See Frankneſs of Heart. Friendſhip. Ingenuouſ⯑neſs. Love. Lovers. Modeſty.
PRIDE and Conceit will make a perſon contemptible in the eye of every one whoſe good opinion is worth cultivating, i. 47. [ibid].
[243] Vain men often miſtake contempt for approbation, i. 57. [ibid].
Obſtinacy in a weak man, is worſe than tyranny in a man of ſenſe, if a man of ſenſe can be a tyrant, i. 58. [ibid].
Thoſe maligners who give themſelves the conſequence of which they would deprive others, will ſoon be de⯑tected, ibid.
Tenacious perſons ſhould be very careful of prepoſ⯑ſeſſions, ii. 117. [218].
One error perſiſted in, frequently produces others, ii. 164. [265].
Reproof ſeldom mends a determined ſpirit, iii. 247. [iv. 33].
Yet a ſufferer by ſuch a bad ſpirit, cannot but have ſome joy, when he hears his ſentiments ſpoken by a by⯑ſtander to the delinquent, ibid.
Some perverſe ſpirits will not do even right things but in a wrong manner, iii. 315. [iv. 101].
It is neceſſary ſometimes, in order to preſerve an in⯑fluence in greater matters, to treat lightly, and even to palliate, the ſmaller faults of a perverſe ſpirit, iv. 179. [v. 50].
Moſt pragmatical mortals, however weakly they act in their own affairs, think themſelves qualified for coun⯑ſellors in thoſe of others, v. 194. [vi. 172].
See Vanity. Wit.
THE irreproachable man is the fitteſt mediator in caſes of Honour and Conſcience, ii. 326. [iii. 70].
What opinion can a worthy man have of one, who can give up his Conſcience, tho' for the higheſt conſide⯑ration on earth? iv. 228. [v. 99].
What witneſſes to convict him needs the man, who knows himſelf to be guilty? iv. 400. [v. 271].
When Conſcience acquits, who ſhall condemn? vi. 120. [vii. 120].
The conſcious integrity of a man's own heart, will carry him thro' the moſt difficult ſituations, vi. 290. [vii. 290]. [See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man.
THIS life is but a dark and ſhort paſſage to a better: Let one joſtle, another elbow a good perſon in it, ſhe will ſteadily purſue her courſe, till ſhe gets through it into broad and open day, ii. 146. [247].
Happy is the man who receiving ill-treatment, can thank God he does not deſerve it, iii. 128. [288].
In all the diſtreſſes of this life, we ſhould refer our⯑ſelves to thoſe motives, which alone can give ſupport to a rational mind, iii. 214. [374].
This mortal ſcene, however perplexing, is a ſhort one; and the hour is haſtening when all the intricacies of human affairs ſhall be cleared up, ibid.
And all the ſorrows that have had their foundation in virtue, ſhall be changed into the higheſt joy, ibid.
When all worthy minds ſhall be united in the ſame in⯑tereſts, the ſame happineſs, ibid.
Who, that is not reproached by his own heart, need to grieve for inevitable evils, which can only be evils as he makes them ſo? iii. 380. [iv. 166].
Our prudence, if properly exerted, is generally pro⯑portion'd to our trials, iv. 115. [287].
The Almighty will do his own work, and in his own way: And that muſt be beſt, iv. 168. [v. 39].
What a Conſolation muſt he have in the hour when he moſt wants it, who can reflect that he took not ad⯑vantage over confiding innocence, iv. 385. [v. 256].
In the inevitable hour it will be a Conſolation to a good child, to be able to reflect, that ſhe obeyed her parents in their reaſonable commands, v. 111. [vi. 89].
Small crevices ſometimes let in light upon a benight⯑ed mind, v. 244. [vi. 222].
Time is the pacifier of every woe, vi. 63. 215. [vii. 63. 215].
Every thing we ought to do, we ſhall be enabled to do, if we ſet about it rightly, and with equal humility and truſt, vi. 208. [vii. 208].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man.
CONTRITION. See Penitence.
COQUETRY. See Prudery.
A LADY'S civility to an admirer, is not always an indication of a preferable favour to him, i. 15. ii. 197 [i. 15. ii. 298].
Men in Courtſhip take care to ſet forward the ad⯑vantages by which they are diſtinguiſhed, i. 38. [ibid].
While fortune is the laſt thing talked of by him who has little or none; and then love, love, love, is all his cry, ibid.
A good eſtate gives a man confidence in Courtſhip, i. 46, 47. [ibid].
A man may ſtand a chance for as good a wife among thoſe who have fortunes, as among thoſe who have none, i. 48. [ibid].
Men profeſs themſelves the ſervants of women, in or⯑der to become their maſters, i. 51. [ibid].
Can modeſty in a lover, ever be an objection to a modeſt woman? i. 101. [ibid].
A worthy woman will not give hope to a man ſhe means not to encourage, i. 101. 116, 117. [ibid].
A man who acts generouſly by a prudent woman in Courtſhip, may be ſaid to act for himſelf; and that in the moſt agreeable manner, i. 110, 111. 152. [ibid].
Women will ſometimes queſtion the ſincerity of a man's profeſſions to them, in order to be aſſured, i. 113. [ibid].
It is not honourable, it is not juſt, for a woman to keep a man in ſuſpence, when ſhe is not in any herſelf, i. 114. 340. [i. 114. ii. 25].
Thoſe diſlikes which a woman takes to a lover, for which ſhe cannot account, imply a natural averſion, and are the hardeſt of all others to be got over, i. 117. [ibid].
A woman who wiſhes not to be idolized in Courtſhip, may reaſonably hope not to be treated with indifference, when ſhe has given a man her whole ſelf, i. 151. [ibid].
The man of gratitude, of principle, whoſe love is founded in reaſon, and whoſe object is mind rather than perſon, muſt make a worthy woman happy in marriage, ibid.
The lover who can ſolicit the hand of a woman, [246] who declares ſhe cannot give him a ſhare in her heart, furniſhes a reaſon againſt himſelf, i. 156, 157. [ibid].
Women are ever looking forward, whether for themſelves or friends, on matrimonial probabilities, i. 202. [ibid].
Men love not all halcyon days in Courtſhip, i. 395. [ii. 80].
It is a very happy circumſtance for a young woman to look forward to a change of condition, with a man of whom every one of her relations, approves, ii. 143. [244].
A lady is warranted in her reſerves, if ſhe has any doubt either of her lover's worthineſs, or of her own conſequence with him, ii. 151. [252].
The ſame man [or woman] cannot be every thing that is deſirable, ii. 160. [261].
The woman who in Courtſhip treats a man with in⯑ſolence, yet receives his viſits, generally-ſpeaking, gives him importance with her, ii. 197. [298].
The days of Courtſhip are ſaid to be the happieſt days of life [a woman may ſay ſo, becauſe they are the days of her power] but the lover who thinks ſo, is not to be forgiven, ii. 203. [304].
A politician in love-affairs, will not too ſoon declare himſelf, for fear of driving a lady into reſerves, which might deprive him of the opportunity of developing the plaits and folds of her heart, ibid.
A man of uprightneſs and penetration, ſhould not, if approved of, be treated with parade, ii. 222. [323].
A woman is not intitled to ridicule a modeſt lover, whom ſhe deſigns not to encourage, ii. 380. [iii. 124].
A ſingle man may ſometimes, in the behaviour of a daughter or ſiſter, ſee that of the future wife, ii. 401. [iii. 145].
Men, ſays Lady G. know no medium: They will either, ſpaniel-like, fawn at your feet, or be ready to leap into your lap, iii. 72. [232].
While preliminaries are to be ſettled among the friends of lovers, they both ſhould hold themſelves ſuſpended, and not enter upon ſubjects with each other, that might lead to prepoſſeſſion, iii. 102. [262].
A woman of principle will not yield her hand to a man who cannot deſerve her utmoſt kindneſs, iii. 225. [iv. 11]
[247] A lady's conſent is often ſufficiently given by her ſilence, iii. 247. [iv. 33].
A petulant miſtreſs ought to think herſelf obliged to make an obliging wife, iii. 299. [iv. 85].
A man who in Courtſhip allows his miſtreſs to treat him like a fool, will, too probably, make her think him one, iii. 304. [iv. 90].
In Courtſhip, both parties will turn the beſt ſide of the garment outward, iii. 323. [iv. 109].
A man, for his own ſake, ſhould give dignity to the woman he wiſhes to be his, v. 47. [vi. 25].
Reſerve is unneceſſary, even of the woman's ſide, to a man who is above reſerve; whoſe offers are un⯑exceptionable, and the reſult of prudent deliberation, v. 50. [vi. 28].
A woman who by unneceſſary parade in Courtſhip, perplexes by delays, the man ſhe approves, and of whoſe honour ſhe has no doubt, acts as if ſhe thought ſhe was to be the greateſt gainer in wedlock, and there⯑fore ſuſpended her conſent for the day, to avoid the charge of ſelfiſhneſs, v. 52, 53. [vi. 30, 31].
It is a happy thing for a man, but not always for a woman, when he is ſecure of her favour, v. 88. [vi. 66].
Reſpect, is a word that a young woman, in Courtſhip, will not be ſatisfied with from the man ſhe favours, v. 98. [vi. 76].
It is a high pleaſure to a woman to be addreſſed by a man whom every one approves. What a poor figure, on the contrary, muſt ſhe make, who encourages the addreſs of a man who is generally deemed unworthy of her, v. 145. [vi. 123].
Such a one, indeed, uſually, indirectly confeſſes her folly, by carrying on the affair clandeſtinely, ibid.
Women love not that wiſe men ſhould keep up to them the dignity of wiſdom, v. 157. [vi. 135].
Much leſs that thy ſhould be ſolemn, formal, grave, ibid.
Yet are they fond of reſpect and obſervance, ibid.
Lady G. ſays, that the man who would commend him⯑ſelf to the favour of young women in Courtſhip, ſhould be a decent rake in his addreſs, and a ſaint in his heart, ibid.
[248] There are men who in Courtſhip, inſultingly think they compliment a woman by their urgency for the day, v. 167. [vi. 145].
A woman ſhould not be wholly unobſervant of cuſtom and the laws of her ſex, however deſerving the object of her favour may be, v. 168. [vi. 146].
Young women will beſt judge of the allowableneſs of ſuch freedoms of their lovers in private, as they have doubts about, by being able, or not, to relate them to a friend, to whom they can reveal what in general paſſes between them, v. 170. [vi. 148].
The true modeſty, after hearts are engaged, is to think little of parade, and much of the ſocial happineſs that awaits two worthy minds, united by love and conformity of ſentiments, v. 183. [vi. 161].
A little over or under nicety on ſetting out, in a love⯑affair, will carry even a generally ſuppoſed prudent woman into a road ſhe never, ſays Lady G. deſigned to amble in, v. 187. [vi. 165].
A man of ſenſe and uprightneſs, will not make a re⯑queſt to a lady with an expectation rather to be forgiven than complied with, v. 209. [vi. 187].
A ſenſible man will addreſs a woman as a woman, not as a goddeſs, yet be able to do honour to her and to her ſex, v. 225. [vi. 203].
What greater felicity can a young creature propoſe to herſelf, in the days of Courtſhip, than to find every one in her family applauding her choice? v. 274. [vi. 252].
A man of ſuperior ſenſe, merit, and delicacy, will ſometimes be able to engage the heart of a ſenſible woman, without ſaying a word, v. 296. [vi. 268].
What additional pleaſure muſt a woman have, who is addreſſed to by a man of merit, and with the appro⯑bation of all her friends, and his, to conſider herſelf as the bond of union between the family ſhe is of, and that ſhe is entering into! ibid.
How dreadful, on the contrary, muſt be the caſe of her, who is the occaſion of propagating diſſenſion, and irreconcileable hatred between her own relations, and thoſe of the man to whom, for life, ſhe engages herſelf! v. 291. [vi. 269].
[249] Men in Courtſhip, ſays Lady G. begin with the pro⯑foundeſt reſpect, and go on from freedom to freedom, as indulged, till the reſpectfulneſs is drawn off, and nothing but the lees are left; and within two or three months after marriage, the once ſqueamiſh palate will be glad of them, v. 306. [vi. 284].
See Advice to Women. Delicacy. Female Dignity. Femalities. Frankneſs of Heart. Huſband and Wife. Libertine. Love. Lover. Firſt Love. Marriage. Modeſty. Parents and Children. Pro⯑teſtations. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
ONE of the characteriſtics of a good man, is, to be ſtudious to avoid danger, and to be unappalled in it, iv. 104. [276].
In a caſe of inevitable danger, the way to avoid it, is not to appear to be intimidated. One man's fear gives another man Courage, v. 289. [vi. 267].
Courage is a glorious quality when it is diveſted of raſhneſs, and founded on integrity of life and manners, v. 296. [vi. 271].
But otherwiſe founded, it is rather to be called ſavage⯑neſs and brutality, than Courage, ibid.
See Challenges. Duelling. Good Man. Mag⯑nanimity.
CUPIDITY. See Love at firſt Sight.
THE firſt vice of the firſt woman, Lady G. ſays, was Cu⯑rioſity, and it runs thro' the whole ſex, v. 317. [vi. 295].
Curioſity is a nail that will faſten to the ground the foot of a liſtener, however painful what ſhe hears may ſometimes make her ſituation, vi. 226, 227. [vii. 226, 227]. [See Femalities.
HOW few have the courage to break thro' a bad Cuſtom, i. 362. [ii. 47].
Tyrant Cuſtom makes a woman change her name in [250] marriage; yet, for the ſake of name only, gives a ſon the eſtate of the common anceſtor of both, ii. 157. [258].
Cuſtom obliges young women, ſometimes, to keep at fartheſt diſtance the man they wiſh neareſt to them, v. 87. [vi. 65].
Yet true delicacy is often wounded by the affectation; ſince it ſhews the object of their favour, that they have formed greater expectations upon him, than they have upon any other perſon, with whom they are more free and familiar, ibid.
See Affectation. Concealment. Frankneſs of Heart. Love. Modeſty.
DAUGHTERS who are invincible to the entreaties of their parents, are often teazed out of their duty by men, who, meaning only themſelves, aſſume the name of lovers, i. 13. [ibid].
Daughters who are earneſt to chooſe for themſelves, ſhould be doubly careful that prudence juſtifies their choice, iii. 357. [iv. 143].
Every widow who marries imprudently (and many there are who do) furniſhes a ſtrong argument in favour of a parent's authority over a maiden Daughter, ibid.
A deſigning man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune, and no queſtions to aſk, ibid.
He ſeems aſſured of finding indiſcretion in the young woman to befriend him, ibid.
Ought not a prudent perſon to think herſelf affronted by the attempter, and to reſolve to diſappoint him, ibid.
A young creature will be able to judge of the falla⯑cious pretenſions of ſuch a one—By his application to her, rather than to her natural friends, ibid.
By his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them, ibid.
By wiſhing her to favour private and clandeſtine meet⯑ings, ibid.
By the inequality of his fortune to hers;
[251] [By his ſeeking to engage her in promiſes] iii. 358. [iv. 144].
Young perſons, in love-caſes, ſhould not preſume to adviſe young perſons, ibid.
It ſhould not be put from young friend to young friend, What would you do in ſuch a caſe, but what ought to be done, ibid.
The romancing elevations which ſo often drive head⯑ſtrong girls into difficulties, ſhould, now-and-then, help a diſcreet one out of them, iv. 52. [224].
When a young woman has not ſtrong oppoſition given her, with regard to the object of her favour, ſhe will, if not wholly loſt to prudence, give herſelf leiſure to con⯑fider what belongs to duty and diſcretion, vi. 228. 241, 242. [vii. 228. 241, 242].
See Advice to Women. Compulſion. Femalities. Girls. Love. Love at firſt Sight. Marriage. Modeſty. Single Women.
DECORUM. See Modeſty.
A WOMAN of Delicacy will not keep one man in ſuſpence, while ſhe is balancing in favour of another, i. 309. [ibid].
In a point of Delicacy, a woman is leſs excuſable to be wanting, than a man, ii. 162. [263].
Women in love often ſuffer equally from the appre⯑henſion of diſguſting the object of it by their forward⯑neſs, and of diſobliging him by too great a reſerve, ii. 195. [296].
Delicacy is too often a miſleader; an idol, at whoſe ſhrine we ſometimes offer up our ſincerity, ii. 257. [iii. 1].
Nothing can be really delicate that is not true, or that gives birth to equivocation, ibid.
Tho' modeſty becomes men as well as women, yet in certain caſes, it would be indelicate in a man not to prevent a lady's wiſhes, in ſpeaking firſt, iii. 102. [262].
The man who would not be denied a favour by a la⯑dy, ſhould never ſue for one, that it is not for her honour to grant, iii. 242. [iv. 28].
[252] Delicate minds cannot be united to each other but by delicate obſervances, iii. 347. [iv. 133].
There is often more Indelicacy in Delicacy than very nice people are aware of, iii. 348. [iv. 134].
How few minds are theſe which are delicate and can⯑did enough to ſee circumſtances in a delicate love-caſe, in the light they ought to appear in! iv. 40. [212].
When a woman gets over that Delicacy which ought to incloſe and defend modeſty, modeſty itſelf will ſoon lie at the mercy of an invader, iv. 119. [291].
Delicacy can never be ſeparated from innocence, iv. 154. [v. 25].
Delicate as the female mind is, or ſhould be, there are caſes that regard a woman's honour, in which a man ſhould be equally delicate, iv. 352. [v. 223].
Conſultations on difficult [or nice] caſes, ſeldom turn to account. What are they, aſks Lady G. but the reſults of a parcel of people getting together, propoſing doubts, puzzling one another, and ending as they began, if not worſe? v. 115. [vi. 93].
Female Delicacy is of a more delicate texture than that of man, v. 134. [vi. 112].
Women conſulted upon points of Delicacy, in another's caſe, generally over-do the matter: Were it their own, they would probably relax, v. 183. [vi. 161]
Delicate minds can mix only with delicate minds, vi. 252. [vii. 252].
See Chaſtity. Female Dignity. Good Wife. Good Man. Love. Marriage. Modeſty. Nuptial Preparations. New-married Woman. Signs of Love. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
DESCENT. See Vanity.
DEPRAVITY of Manners. See Public Places.
DISAPPOINTMENT. See Adverſity.
DISCRETION. See Prudence.
DISPRAISE. See Praiſe.
SUPERSTITION is, more or leſs, a natural defect in every mind, v. 241. [vi. 219].
[253] Dreams are illuſions of the working mind, fetter⯑ed, and debaſed as it is, by the organs through which it conveys its confined powers to the groſſer matter, body, then ſleeping, inactive, as in the ſhades of death, ibid.
What is the reaſon, that tho' we know, that the fleet⯑ing ſhadows of the night, are no more than dreams, ye [...], that we cannot help being ſtrongly impreſſed by them, meditating interpretation of the flying vapours, when reaſon is broad awake, and tells us, it is weakneſs to be diſturbed at them? ibid.
Happily poiſed is that mind, which, on the one hand, is too ſtrong to be affected by the ſlaviſh fears ſuperſti⯑tion brings with it; and on the other, runs not into the contrary extreme, Scepticiſm, the parent of infideli⯑ty, ibid.
When realities diſturb, ſhadows will often officiouſly obtrude as ſuch, on the buſy imagination, v. 281. [vi. 259].
DRESS. See Faſhion.
THE word Honour as abuſed, and uſed to induce Duelling, is the very oppoſite to duty, goodneſs, piety, religion, i. 278. [ibid].
The cool man, in a contention, has great advantage over a warm one, i. 354. [ii. 39].
To die like a man of honour, a man muſt have lived like one, ibid.
A murderer never was a happy man, i. 361. [ii. 46].
Self-defence will be the whole of a good man's ſyſtem, ibid.
The obligations a man owes to his country, his friends, his family, and to avoid injuring irreparably that of another, and of incurring the final perdition of both, ſhould determine him againſt deciding a difference by the private ſword, i. 367. [ii. 52].
The deciſion by the private ſword cannot aſſuredly be that of juſtice, ibid.
A challenger may owe to the man who refuſes to meet him, not only his life, but all the good fortune that may attend him thro' it, i. 368. [ii. 53].
[254] Duelling is contrary to all laws Divine and human, and particularly repugnant to the true heroiſm which Chriſtianity requires, of forgiving injuries and returning good for evil, i. 373. [ii. 58].
It owes its riſe to the barbarous northern nations, who yet had pleas for it, which we have not, from their po⯑lity, and the nature of their governments, ibid.
The old Romans did, the very Turks do, deteſt the practice of Duelling. [See this barbarous practice ex⯑patiated upon, i. 374, 375. [ii. 59, 60].
Of what uſe are the laws of ſociety, if magiſtracy may be defied by private men? i. 375. [ii. 60].
Who, if the challenge be received, and the challenger ſucceed, is to challenge him? Where is the evil to end? ibid.
How dare the challenger, to riſque ruſhing into his Maker's preſence, from the conſequences of an act, which, in the man who falls, cannot admit of repent⯑ance; and leaves for the ſurvivor's portion nothing but bitter remorſe? ibid.
Let the challenger conſider, whether, were his adver⯑ſary to meet him, and both to ſurvive, he may not be obliged to put up with a real diſgrace, inſtead of per⯑haps ſuffering a mere imaginary one, ibid.
[How poorly, how paſſively, how complainingly calm, looks the wounded patient under the ſurgeon's hands, when hoping, perhaps, but for a palliative cure!].
Courage is a virtue; inordinate paſſion is a vice; ſuch paſſion therefore cannot be courage, i. 377. [ii. 62].
Does it not then behove every man of true honour, to ſhew, that reaſon has a greater ſhare than reſentment, in the boldneſs of his reſolves? ibid.
And what by any degree, is ſo reaſonable, as a regard to our duty? ibid.
Defence is guarded; offence expoſes itſelf, ibid.
The Council of Trent, with a moſt laudable ſeverity, determines againſt Duelling, i. 378. [ii. 63].
Lewis XIV's. Edict againſt it is the greateſt glory of his reign, ibid.
The baſe arts of poiſoning by treacherous agents; the cowardly practice of aſſaſſination by bravoes, ſo frequent [255] in ſome countries; are branches of the ſame old Gothic tree. ibid.
See Challenges. Courage. Fencing. Good Man. Magnanimity.
OUR Duties will encreaſe as our power encreaſes, i. 116. [ibid].
Perſons often value themſelves for actions which they cannot forbear doing from a conſtitutional byas; when they ought, in modeſty, to diſtinguiſh between the vir⯑tue and the neceſſity that impels them, i. 120. [ibid].
Hence it may be inferred, that many perſons are not ſo good either as they think themſelves, or as the world thinks them. Such ought to be thankful for, and not proud of, the benevolent hearts given them by the Giver of all good.
He that makes light of oaths of office, wants but an inducement to make light of the higheſt ſanctions, i. 238. [ibid].
Truth never leaves room for ſelf-reproach, ii. 20. [121].
We ſhould be as ready to do juſtice to the veracity of others, as to our own, ii. 21. [122].
We ſhall not hereafter be judged by compariſon even with ſuch as have been more faulty than ourſelves, ii. 21. 157. [122. 258].
To do well, and ſuffer for it, is acceptable with God, ii. 61. [162].
Patience never yet was a ſolitary virtue, ii. 108. [209].
Glorious is the charity of that perſon who in pitying others for their errors, has no vices of his own to cover, by the exertion of that chriſtian grace, ii. 124. [225].
Where a man finds it difficult to reſtrain what he will call a conſtitutional fault, he ſhould direct it to laudable ends, ii. 128. 130. [229. 231].
Who is the mortal man that will wiſh to take an un⯑juſt advantage of mortality? ii. 158. [259].
Men, in order to extenuate their own faults, ſhould not throw blame upon the abſent; much leſs upon the everlaſtingly abſent, ii. 165. [266].
[256] A principal part of our benevolent religion, is, To do good to our fellow-creatures, ii. 242. [343].
The benefits we receive from the hand of Providence, ſhould not be looked upon as due to our own merits; but as obligations laid upon us to extend them to our unhappier fellow-creatures, ibid.
What poor creatures are the beſt of us, that the very avoiding the occaſions of a wrong action, ſhould gladden our hearts, as with the conſciouſneſs ſomething meri⯑torious! ii. 243. [344].
There are faults for which, tho' a perſon may obtain forgiveneſs from the party injured, he hardly ought to forgive himſelf, ii. 262. [iii. 6].
A perſon who takes kindly a reproof, intitles him or herſelf to our higheſt eſteem, ibid.
Self-denial is a doctrine very hard to be learned [the more hard, as there are but few practical teachers of it], ii. 283. [iii. 27].
Every man has a right to judge for himſelf in thoſe articles for which he himſelf is only accountable, ii. 313. [iii. 57].
The ſon of a faulty father, who has a laudable turn, purſues his own predominant paſſion, whatever it be, with as much ardor, and perhaps with as little power to reſiſt it, as his father had to reſtrain his culpable one [where then is his merit?] ii. 314. [iii. 58].
Our duties will riſe with our opportunities; a man therefore may be as good with a ſmall eſtate, as with a larger, ii. 369. [iii. 113].
Be our ſtation what it will, what have we to do, but humbly to acquieſce in it, and to fulfil the duties be⯑longing to it? ibid.
How can patience be patience, if it be not tried? ii. 414. [iii. 185].
The characters of the heart are far more diſplayed in minute inſtances, than in the greater, ibid.
He that can diſpenſe with one duty, will with another, if the inducement be equally ſtrong, iii. 127. [287].
The innocent heart will be a charitable one, iii. 385. [iv. 17 [...]].
We may generally, in a doubtful caſe, conclude our⯑ſelves [257] in the right, when we deny our inclination, iii. 371. iv. 284. [iv. 157. v. 155].
What is this ſpan of life, that a paſſenger thro' it, ſhould ſeek to over-turn the intereſts of others, in order to eſtabliſh his own? iv. 40. [212].
A man who can value, even generally-faulty perſons for thoſe qualities which are laudable in them, will be deſirous to draw a veil over thoſe weakneſſes which may be deemed human ones, iv. 356. [v. 227].
A good man wants no other proof of the largeneſs of heart of profeſſors of different perſuaſions, than their living in friendſhip with each other, v. 228. [vi. 206].
Where a Duty is reciprocal, the failure in it of the one, acquits not the other for a failure in his, vi. 108. 131. [vii. 108. 131].
See Conſcience. Charity in Judgment. Good Man. Modeſty. Religion.
EARLY RISING. See Oeconomy.
EBRIETY is a vice that leaves a woman no guard, and makes her a ſtranger to that grace which is the glory of a woman, and hardens her to a ſenſe of ſhame, ii. 362. [iii. 106].
Other vices, perhaps, at firſt, want this to introduce them, ibid.
It is not agreeable to be the ſpectator of Riot; but it is eaſy to avoid being a partaker in it, iii. 223. [iv. 9].
A man who is known to have eſtabliſhed a rule to himſelf, from which he will not depart, will always be received into company upon his own terms, ibid.
But if he would not be thought a ſpy on unguarded folly, he muſt not refuſe an urgency with fullenneſs; but perſevere in his determined courſe with complaiſance and good humour, iii. 224. [iv. 10].
Many a man owes his exceſs [perhaps his ruin] to Falſe Shame, which hinders him from aſſerting the free⯑dom to which every Engliſhman would claim a right in almoſt every other inſtance, ibid.
[258] Reaſon, health, fortune, perſonal elegance, the peace and order of families, and all the comfort and honour of their after years, are the ſacrifices that men make who are led, by Falſe Shame, into a riotous courſe of life, iii. 224. [iv. 10].
How peeviſh, how wretched, is the decline of a man worn out with intemperance! ibid.
In a cool hour, reſolutions might be formed, that ſhould ſtand the attack of a boiſterous jeſt, ibid.
See Addreſs to Men of Senſe in the gay World. Good Man.
FROM ſeven years to fourteen, is chiefly the period in which the foundations of all female goodneſs are to be laid; ſince ſo ſoon after fourteen, girls leap into women, i. 10. [ibid].
What influence can a mother expect to have, over a daughter, whoſe Education ſhe leaves to others, in or⯑der to ſave herſelf trouble? i. 22. [ibid].
Neither a learned nor a fine Education is of any va⯑lue, than as it tends to improve the morals of men, and to make them wiſe and good, i. 62. [ibid].
Prudent parents, in recommending a wife to their ſons, will have a particular regard to the character of thoſe who have had a principal hand in the young woman's Education, as well as to her general character, i. 302. [ibid].
The benefits of a good Education are of ſuch a na⯑ture, that they cannot be recalled, ii. 231. [332].
In every caſe, the teacher is the obliger. Juſtly is he called maſter, iii. 68. [228].
Such children of the poor, only, as have talents for learning, ſhould have that advantage endeavoured to be given them, iv. 145. [v. 16].
Huſbandry and labour are what are moſt wanted to be encouraged among the lower claſs of people, ibid.
Providence has given to men different genius's and capacities, for different ends, and that all might become uſeful links of the ſame great chain, iv. 145, 146. [v. 16, 17].
[259] Learning, of itſelf, never made any man happy, iv. 146. [v. 17]. [Perhaps it only multiplied his wants].
The ploughman, from the contractedneſs of the ſphere he moves in, makes fewer miſtakes in the conduct of life, than the ſcholar, ibid.
If however, a genius ariſe, let it be encouraged. There will be ruſtics enow to do the common ſervices for the finer ſpirits, if, by our indiſcriminate good offices, we do not contribute to their miſapplication, ibid.
By proper application of the talents of youth, thou⯑ſands may make a figure in life, who otherwiſe would be outcaſts of the world, ibid.
It is the privilege of people of quality now, ſays Lady G. ſo to be educated, that their time can never be worthily filled up, and as if it were a diſgrace to be either manly or uſeful, iv. 191. [v. 62].
See Filial Piety. Good Man. Learning. Learn⯑ed Women. Parents and Children.
ELEGANCE. See Politeneſs.
THE Example of a beneficent ſpirit, gracefully ex⯑erted, will awaken in others a capacity to enjoy the true pleaſure that ariſes from a benevolent action, i. 200. iii. 255. [i. 200. iv. 41].
The more a good man permits his heart to be known, the more good he may be the occaſion of, i. 265. [ibid].
A good Example is neceſſary to the ſupport of good doctrines, i. 362. [ii. 47].
Leſſons of morality and diſintereſtedneſs, given by Example are far more efficacious than thoſe endeavoured to be inculcated by Precept, ii. 342. [iii. 86].
The Example of a good and generous man will be ſometimes able to alter natures, iii. 335, 336. [iv. 121, 122].
How happy are they who are ſet up for Examples, rather than Warnings! iv. 137. [v. 8].
A good man, either from fear or ſhame, makes all around him decent, if not good, iv. 220. [v. 91].
[260] We know not, till tried, what emulation will enable a warm and generous heart to do, v. 60. [vi. 38].
Men of genius, politeneſs, and goodneſs, are fitter to give than to take an Example in extraordinary caſes; and ought not to be judged by vulgar rules, v. 115. [vi. 93].
How exaltedly noble is the woman, who can give an Example to her ſex of a fervent paſſion properly ſubdued! v. 138. [vi. 116].
A good man is not aſhamed to avow in public, what he thinks fit to practiſe in private, v. 145. [vi. 123].
A good man's ſilent Example will generally have more efficacy on a bold man, than his precepts, v. 227. [vi. 205].
A man that ſins not from ignorance will be affronted with a man who pretends to inſtruct him, ibid.
Decency from a bad man, who errs not from want of knowlege, is as much as can be expected, ibid.
The Examples of princes are of great force, either to amend or deprave a people, v. 229. [vi. 207].
People of condition ſhould conſider themſelves, as Examples to thoſe below them, vi. 12. [vii. 12].
They ſhould ſhew a conformity to the laws of their country, as well eccleſiaſtical as civil, when they can do it with a good conſcience, ibid.
Let the parents who ſigh for an unhappy ſtep taken by their children, ſigh alſo for themſelves, if, tho' they may not have ſet them bad Examples, they have not given them good ones, vi. 14. [vii. 14].
See Beneficence. Generoſity. Good Man. Mag⯑nanimity.
WHATEVER good a man inclines to do, let him be his own Executor, ii. 336. [iii. 80].
Were Executors to be ever ſo juſt, they, acting for a truſt, have not a power to fulfil a teſtator's unwritten in⯑tentions, ibid.
See the generous Executor in Sir Charles Grandiſon's be⯑haviour to the Danby's, Vol. II. Let. xxx. [xxxv].
See Wills.
MEN of birth and education, who are profuſe, ſhould conſider, before they have quite ſquandered away their patrimony, that tho' there may be many ways of pro⯑viding for bankrupt tradeſmen, there are but few for reduced gentlemen, v. 27. [vi. 5].
The compting-houſes of merchants, the ſhops of flouriſhing tradeſmen, the public offices, will find em⯑ployment for the one; but how can the other; not brought up to figures; knowing not ſo much as the mean⯑ing of the word diligence; never uſed to confinement; deeming attendance a ſlavery; and expecting, perhaps, to rank with his employer; and to be allowed to inſult more uſeful fellow-domeſtics; how can ſuch a one be made uſeful either to himſelf or others? v. 27, 28. [vi. 5, 6].
Profuſion and parſimony are two extremes equally to be avoided, v. 28. [vi. 6].
See Addreſs to Men in the gay World.
DAUGHTERS of a decayed Family do not eaſily get huſbands, iii. 228. [iv. 14].
Men of great fortunes look higher; men of ſmall muſt look out for wives to enlarge them; and men of genteel buſineſſes, are afraid of young women who are better born than portioned, ibid.
A prudent young woman will therefore bend to her circumſtances; yet would ſooner live ſingle all her life, rather than not marry with ſome proſpect of happineſs, ibid.
YOUNG women deeply read in romances, are apt to expect to find in their own boſoms emotions and fervors in paſſion, like what are deſcribed in thoſe books; and not finding them for a worthy man who may happen to [262] be recommended to them, often become the prey of fops and flatterers, vi. 204. [vii. 204].
Romancing girls are apt to look upon love as a blind irreſiſtable deity, whoſe darts fly at random, and admit neither defence nor cure, vi. 205. [vii. 205].
Young women ſhould condeſcend to be happy in ſuch a way as ſuits their mortal ſtate, ibid.
Liking is often miſtaken for love. When indulged, it frequently leads the inconſiderate mind into the laby⯑rinths of that paſſion, and lays even a young creature, not unworthy, under a neceſſity of combating all her life with a chimera of her own creating, vi. 206. [vii. 206].
A young woman may poſſibly meet with perſons more accompliſhed in ſome points, than her deſtined huſband: But, if ſhe be prudent, ſhe will not ſuffer her eye to lead her into miſery, when an additional tie of duty for⯑bids its wandering, ibid.
The duty of a reaſonable and modeſt young woman, were ſhe even without parents and friends, forbids Fancy to be her guide, as much as the ſacred engagement of marriage forbids it to be her tormenter, vi. 207. [vii. 207].
Young women ought to take their rules from plain common ſenſe; and not from poetical refinements, ibid.
Gratitude, with a generous mind, will ſupply the place of love, vi. 219. [vii. 219].
The exertion of that benevolence, which a good woman cannot but ſhew to a worthy mind, will make an obliging man happy in marriage, tho' vehement love on her ſide was not at firſt in the queſtion, ibid.
If the ſecond man be worthy, a woman may be happy, who has not been indulged in her firſt fancy [Hence the ſaying, ſo much decry'd by heroic girls, Marry, love will follow] vi. 225. [vii. 225].
See Advice to Women. Delicacy. Daughters. Fe⯑malities. Female Dignity. Girls. Love. Lover. Firſt Love. Love at firſt Sight. Clandeſtine Mar⯑riages. Modeſty. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
EVEN goodneſs, when it condeſcends not to comply with the innocent faſhions of the times, will ſit ungrace⯑fully upon a man, iii. 353. [iv. 139].
When the novelty of any change of condition is over, the principal pleaſure is over, and other novelties are hunted after to keep the pool of life from ſtagnating, iv. 85. [257].
Public appearances, whether at court or church, on a marriage, Lady G. ſays, are a compliment made to fine cloaths and jewels, at the expence of modeſty, ibid.
Faſhion, tho' called decorum, has often beat modeſty out of the houſe, ibid.
In the article of perſonal appearance, propriety and degree, as well as Faſhion, ſhould be conſulted, v. 203. [vi. 181].
Singularity is uſually an indication of ſomething wrong in judgment, ibid.
See Good Man. Good Wife. Modeſty. Prudence. Politeneſs. Public Places. The World.
How can men expect that delicacy from the ſex, which is their ornament and diſtinction, if they hold women cheap, and treat them with indignity? ii. 317. [iii. 61].
A generous man, for the honour of the ſex, will be concerned, if he is in ſuch a ſituation, as obliges him to decline propoſals made to him by the friends of a lady, who honours him with her eſteem, ibid.
Ladies who ſpeak favourably of a man in his ab⯑ſence, who forms not pretenſions upon them, would, per⯑haps, ſoon convince that man of his miſtake, were his preſumption to riſe upon their declared good opinion of him, ii. 319. [iii. 63].
The woman who declares her love of a good man, to proper perſons becauſe of his goodneſs, does more ho⯑nour to her own ſex, than to the other, ibid.
The man who is not a friend to the ſex in general, muſt [be unworthy of a good mother, and good ſiſters, [264] and] have fallen into bad company; nor deſerves to have been favoured with better, ii. 321. [iii. 65].
Let not the want of cultivation of the intellects of women, induce a man of letters to hold the ſex cheap, iii. 44. [204].
The cauſe of virtue and the ſex can hardly be ſepa⯑rated, ibid.
It is a grateful thing to all women to have a man in love, whether with themſelves or not [becauſe a man by it, recognizes the dignity and power of the ſex] iii. 69. [229].
Politeneſs, as well as gratitude, will ever prompt a generous man to acknowlege a woman's favour to him, as a condeſcenſion, iii. 100. [260].
Female Delicacy expects to be argued with, courted, perſuaded, iv. 304. [v. 175].
A woman, tho' ſhe happens to be inferior in birth and fortune to the man who addreſſes her, ſhould retain a Dignity that ſhall ſet her above either inſult or con⯑tempt, iv. 393. [v. 264].
The young woman whoſe duty and inclination were never divided, will dignify the choice of a man of the higheſt fortune and merit, v. 70, 71. [vi. 48, 49].
What a princeſs, in the eye of all her friends, will the declared love of a polite and good man, make a deſerving young woman? How will his affection for her conſequence with every-body! v. 137. [vi. 115].
See Advice to Women. Courtſhip. Education. Ge⯑neroſity. Good Man. Modeſty. Single Wo⯑men.
WOMEN who have ſeveral lovers (like women in a mercer's ſhop, diſtracted with the variety of his rich wares) often chooſe the worſt, and reject the beſt, i. 30. [ibid].
Female pride, like love, tho' hid under a barrel, will flame out of the bung (Mr. Selby) i. 31. [ibid].
The love of admiration ſwallows up the hearts and ſouls of women (Mr. Selby) ibid.
[265] There are points in which all women agree, and make a common cauſe of them, i. 32. [ibid].
It is a ſign, ſays Sir Rowland Meredith, when women are deſirous to conceal their age, that they think they ſhall be good for nothing, when in years, i. 46. [ibid].
Women can do no leſs than reward a man by their ſmiles, who makes himſelf a monkey to divert them, i. 58. [ibid].
Women's eyes frequently run away with their under⯑ſtandings, i. 255. [ibid].
Marriage, like Aaron's rod, often ſwallows up female friendſhip, ibid.
The fault of the women, in the preſent age, is, that they will hardly ſtay till they are aſked; yet conſider not, that men value nothing highly, but what they obtain with difficulty, i. 265. [ibid].
It is an eaſy thing to alarm a woman on the ſide of her vanity, i. 266. [ibid].
Women and painters make viſitors who admire them, welcome, ibid.
Women are ſo much in love with compliments, that rather than want them, they will compliment one another, yet mean no more by it, than the men do, i. 268. [ibid].
Love ſecrets are generally the cement of female friend⯑ſhips, ibid.
The Devil's at home, a phraſe that ſeems to be verified by the practice of the modern women, i. 270. [ibid].
A woman cannot be guilty of a meaner pride, than that of ſeeing a number of men in her train, i. 301. [ibid].
The man, ſays Sir Thomas Grandiſon, who argues with a woman on points in which nature, and not reaſon, is concerned, muſt follow her through a thouſand windings, yet at laſt be beat out of the courſe, ii. 69, 70. 75, 76. [170, 171. 176, 177].
Folly in women, ſays the ſame gentleman, is a native of the ſoil: a very little watering will make it ſprout, and choak the noble flowers which education has plant⯑ed, ii. 71. [172].
I never in my life, ſays he, knew a woman who was wiſe by the experience of others, ibid.
[266] The blind God, adds he, often ſets women on a pace⯑ing beaſt: they amble, prance, parade upon it, till the r heads turn round; and then they gallop over hedge and ditch; leap fences; and duty, decency, and diſcre⯑tion are trodden under foot, ii. 75. [176].
Matrimony and liberty, is a girliſh connexion, ii. 170. [271].
Giddy women ſeldom doubt a man, who doubts not himſelf, [tho' they ſhould the more ſuſpect him for his audacity] ii. 171. [272].
The man who knows how to ſay agreeable things to a woman, has her vanity on his ſide; ſince to doubt his veracity, would be to queſtion her own merit, ibid.
Women, where love and their own happineſs inter⯑fere, are the moſt incompetent judges of all others, ii. 182. [283].
What muſt be the woman who makes contrivances neceſſary to induce her to do a right, a kind, an oblige⯑ing thing? ii. 390. [iii. 134].
A woman who hopes to encreaſe her conſequence, by appearing indifferent to the addreſſes of a man ſhe likes, deals with him as common buyers and ſellers do with petty chapmen, ii. 392. [iii. 136].
Women, by perſeverance, may out-teaze, if they cannot out-argue, the wiſeſt man, ii. 407. [iii. 151].
The Female eye expects to be gratified: whence men of appearance often ſucceed, when men of merit fail, iii. 4. [164].
Women, by their little affectations in their love-affairs, frequently gratify their own punctilio only: to a pene⯑trating eye they diſcover by them, what they wiſh to conceal, iii. 12. [172].
Where is the ſenſe of a woman's parading with a wor⯑thy man, of whoſe affection ſhe has no reaſon to doubt, and whoſe viſits ſhe allows? iii. 72. [232].
All women, from the grandmother to the grand-daugh⯑ter, giving the ſtories of their loves, affect to have it thought they were very difficult to be won, whether th y were ſo, or not.
Some women act by their lovers, as if they thought coyneſs and modeſty the ſame thing, iii. 72. [232].
[267] Others, as if they were ſenſible, that if they were not inſolent, they muſt drop into the arms of a lover on his firſt queſtion, iii. 72. [232].
Handſome men may attach giddy women, without ſaying a ſingle word, iii. 125. [285].
Women do not often fall in love with philoſophers, iii. 126. [286].
An humourſome woman is not always ſo much to be blamed as her mother, iii. 237. [iv. 23].
Women, whether in courtſhip or not, diſlike not vi⯑vacity in a man, iii. 243. [iv. 29].
Some of them will be better pleaſed with an innocent freedom, than with profound reſpect, ibid.
Angry women are formidable only to thoſe who are afraid of their anger, or who make it a ſerious thing, ibid.
A man of common penetration may eaſily ſee to the bottom of a woman's heart; a cunning woman cannot hide it; a good woman will not: the difficulty lies in her not knowing her own mind, iii. 246. [iv. 32].
Women, deſigned to be dependent, as well as meek creatures, when left to their own wills, often know not what to reſolve upon, ibid.
Women are ſo uſed to courtſhip, that they know not how to do right things without it—Nor always with it, iii. 247. [iv. 33].
What a tormentreſs can that woman be, who can vex a huſband, yet keep her own temper! iii 316. [iv. 102].
Women love not to be preſcribed to, even in the points to which they are not naturally averſe, iv. 83. [255].
And for this very reaſon, ſays Lady G.—becauſe it be⯑comes them to ſubmit to preſcription, ibid.
I believe, adds ſhe, if my good man wiſhed me to ſtay at home, I ſhould torture my brain, as other good wives do for inventions to go abroad, ibid.
The ſex, ſays Signor Jeronymo, never know their minds, but when they meet with obſtacies to their wills, iv. 282. [v. 153].
Our ſex, ſays Lady G. is a fooliſh ſex—Too little or too much parade: Yet were it not, that we muſt be afraid to appear forward to the man himſelf, we ſhould [268] treat the opinion of the world with contempt, v. 114, 115. [iv. 92, 93].
Women who aim at over-delicacy, and are ſolicitous to take their meaſures from the judgment of thoſe with⯑out them, generally behave like ſimpletons (Lady G.) v. 115. [vi. 93].
Pragmatical ſouls, adds ſhe, form their notions of what ought to be a man's behaviour in courtſhip, either on what they have read, or by the addreſſes to themſelves of ſome favourite ſilly fellow, who, perhaps, was equally aukward and unmeaning [tho' in a weak hour he appear⯑ed to them the flower of courteſy] ibid.
Wiſe or fooliſh before, we are all equally fooliſh when in love, ſays the ſame Lady; the ſame froward, petulant, captious babies, occaſionally; and did not the ſame idle paſſion make men as great fools as ourſelves, they would hardly think us worthy of their purſuit, v. 116. [vi. 94].
We women, ſays Lady G. muſt have ſomething to find fault with in a good man, v. 118. [vi. 96].
Women generally like not a man the leſs for finding ſomething to mend in him, v. 147 [vi. 125].
Women, Mr. Selby ſays, are but, the apes, of one another, v. 165. [vi. 143].
There is a time in every woman's life, in which the eye, rather than the judgment, is the director of her heart, v. 178. [vi. 156].
We women, ſays Lady G. are afraid of a wiſe man. No wonder therefore that we ſeldom chooſe one, when a fool offers, v. 183. [vi. 161].
Nor is, adds ſhe, a prudent man a favourite with us [whence, ſo many unhappy marriages] v. 184. [vi. 162].
For, the man who is prudent, or but ſuſpected to be ſo, in love, is guilty of an heterodoxy in the eyes of women. [The very word and thing called prudence, is excluded from the female notion of love] v. 186. [vi. 164].
We women, ſays Lady G. are fooliſh creatures in our love affairs, and know not what is beſt for ourſelves, i id.
A [...]l women, more or leſs [perhaps from the brilliancy of their imaginations] are romancers, ibid.
[269] Young women, [every one loving to raiſe a duſt, to ſhew her ſignificance] are apt to look upon a ſtate of tranquillity as a ſtate of inſipidity, ibid.
Women love power; yet ſeldom know how to make a right uſe of it, v. 201. [vi. 179].
Women ſometimes, by their very reſerves, betray their expectations, v. 297. [vi. 275].
A proud woman ſhould be above owing obligation to her man for bearing with her foibles, v. 307. [vi. 285].
You, maidens, ſays Lady G. (in the wantonneſs of her vivacity) are generally poor, proud, pragmatical mortals: you profeſs ignorance, but in heart imagine, you are at the tip-top of your wiſdom, v. 308. [vi. 286].
True female reſignation lies only in words, v. 309. [vi. 287].
The firſt vice of the firſt woman was curioſity, and it runs through the whole ſex, v. 317. [vi. 295].
Women, whether weakly or robuſt, are hardly ever tired with dancing on joyful occaſions. On ſuch they will tire the men; ſome few of thoſe excepted, who like themſelves, are brought up to be idle and uſeleſs, (Lady G.) v. 368. [vi. 346].
A petulant woman is always increaſing the number of her obligations to thoſe who bear with her, vi. 56. [vii. 56].
When a woman's eye leads her choice, imagination can eaſily add all good qualities to the plauſible appear⯑ance, vi. 201. [vii. 201].
Oppoſition, or reſiſtance, is the ſoul, the eſſence, of all ſorts of heroiſm, vi. 215. [vii. 215].
The words conſtancy and perverſeneſs are often ſynony⯑mous terms, when uſed of girls in love, ibid.
The parents and guardians of ſome young women, if they would ſucceed in their wiſhes in a young man's favour, will find it their ſureſt way, to quarrel with him, and forbid him their houſe, vi. 216. [vii. 216].
See Advice to Women. Daughters. Fancy. Girl. Firſt Love. Love at firſt Sight. Modeſty. Single Women. Vice. Vanity. Widows. Wit.
YOUNG men in their warm blood, often ſeem to think they have in vain learned to fence, if they never ſhew their ſkill in a duel, (Mr. Locke) i. 370. [ii. 55].
It muſt be remembred that Fencing is called the ſcience of defence; not of offence, ibid.
A dexterity at the weapons is likely to lead young gentlemen into low company, ibid.
See Challenges. Duelling. Magnanimity.
A GOOD man will, in all he may, do credit to his father's memory, v. 203. [vi. 181].
And will rather chooſe to build upon, than demoliſh, his father's foundations, v. 203. vi. 21. 23. [vi. 181. vii. 21. 23].
The loſs of a father, where a great eſtate is to deſcend to the ſon, is the teſt either of a noble or ignoble heart, v. 242. [vi. 220].
See Good Man. Parents and Children. Youth.
FLATTERY. See Compliments.
FORCED MARRIAGES. See Perſuaſion.
THAT perſon makes another great, into whoſe power he puts forgiveneſs of an injury, vi. 251. [vii. 251].
Let all my revenge, ſays the excellent Clementina, ſpeaking of her barbarous Couſin Laurana, be in her compunction from my forgiveneſs, and from my known wiſhes to promote her welfare, vi. 251. [vii. 251].
See Generoſity. Magnanimity.
FORTITUDE. See Magnanimity.
FORTUNE HUNTERS. See Clandeſtine Marriages.
THE godlike man has nothing to conceal, i. 413. [ii. 98].
Frankneſs of Heart is a criterion of innocence and goodneſs, ii. 149. [250].
[271] Why ſhould young ladies be aſhamed to own a love for a worthy object, when proper perſons, for motives not ungenerous, make enquiries? ii. 156. [257].
Frankneſs of Heart demands equal frankneſs, iii. 40. 64. [141. 165].
That may be an affectation in one company, that may be but a neceſſary reſerve in another, iii. 42. [143].
The men are their own enemies, ſays Miſs Byron, if they wiſh women to be open-hearted and ſincere, and are not ſo themſelves, v. 198, 199. [vi. 176, 177].
The women are inexcuſable who play either the co⯑quet or prude with a man of unqueſtionable integrity, ibid.
See Advice to Women. Affectation. Concealment. Love. Lover. Ingenuouſneſs. Men and Women. Modeſty. Single Women.
FRIENDSHIP and Reſerve are incompatible, i. 250. [ibid].
Confidence engages confidence, i. 260. [ibid].
Kindred minds will find out and aſſimilate with each other, i. 300. [ibid].
The tenderneſs ſhewn to us by friends who would keep from us the full knowlege of an unhappy event, when we ſuſpect all is not as we wiſh, is often as painful to us, as would be the moſt explicit communication, i. 338. [ii. 23].
[Our imaginations are hereby ſet at work, and more⯑over] the ſtrength of mind and diſcretion ſuppoſed in the concealer, and the weakneſs in that of the perſon concealed from, ſometimes, carries with it an appearance of inſult, ibid.
The perſon who is conſulted for his advice, ſhoul [...] have no retroſpection to himſelf, that might in the lea [...] affect the conſulter, i. 359. [ii. 44].
Love may be ſelfiſh; but Friendſhip [that deſerves the name] cannot, ii. 60. [161].
The man who conſiders himſelf as the firſt perſon in a Friendſhip, in caſes that may hurt the other, ſhould [272] be reminded, that he judges as meanly of the under⯑ſtanding as of the juſtice of that other, ii. 131. [232].
No motive of Friendſhip can juſtify a wrong action, ii. 265. [iii. 9].
Thoſe who have a claim upon us for our Friendſhip, ſhould not be called other people, ii. 271. [iii. 15].
Friendſhip is the balm and ſeaſoning of life, ii. 318. [iii. 62].
A man who is capable of Friendſhip, in the true meaning of the word, cannot be defective in any of the ſocial duties, ibid.
No Friendſhip can be held with a man, who, aſking advice, is angry with his friend for ſpeaking his mind, ii. 325. [iii. 69].
We may love a Friend with all his faults; but ſhould not be blind to them, iii. 5. [165].
Friendſhip ought not to byas againſt juſtice, however dear to us may be the one party, however indifferent to us the other, iii. 6. [166].
Friendſhip cannot be kept with a young man, who is under the dominion of diſſolute companions, and will not allow of remonſtrances in caſes that concern his morals, iii. 48. [208].
What a ſolitarineſs, what a gloom, what a darkneſs, muſt poſſeſs the mind that can truſt no friend with its inmoſt thoughts! iii. 81. [241].
The eſſence of Friendſhip is communication, mingling of hearts, and emptying our very ſoul into that of a true friend, ibid.
People of condition have more flatterers than friends about them, iii. 82. [242].
The Friendſhip of a good man is a credit to every one whom he honours with it, iii. 235. [iv. 21].
Diſintereſted Friendſhip is the baſis of true love, iii. 275. [iv. 65].
The word Friend ought not to be polluted by affixing ideas to it, that cannot be connected with it, iii. 312. [iv. 98].
True Friendſhip is a delicate union of like minds, that exalts the human nature, ibid.
There may be love, which, though it has no view but to honour, yet even in wedlock ripens not into Friend⯑ſhip, ibid.
[273] An open and generous heart will not permit a cloud to hang long upon the brow of a Friend, without en⯑quiring into the reaſon of it, in hopes to be able to diſ⯑pel it, iv. 155. [v. 26].
An abatement in the freedom of a Friend, is a charge of unworthineſs upon one's ſelf, and ought to be ob⯑viated the moment it is obſerved, ibid.
True Friendſhip being diſintereſted, and more intel⯑lectual than Love, is nobler than that deified paſſion, iv. 203. [v. 74].
That Friendſhip is only pretenſion which, on proper calls, exerts not itſelf in action, iv. 212. [v. 83].
A prudent man, when he lends his aſſiſtance to his diſtreſſed Friend, aims only at practicable and legal, not romantic, redreſs, v. 11. [282].
The Friendſhip of a good man makes life deſirable, v. 29. [vi. 7].
A generous man knows not ſelf, when juſtice, and the ſervice of his Friend, ſtand in oppoſition to it, ibid.
A worthy and modeſt man will be thankful for ad⯑vice; and will be ready to doubt the love of the Friend, who gives him cauſe to queſtion his friendly freedom with him, vi. 80. [vii. 80].
Friendſhip will, at pleaſure, make a ſafe bridge over ſeas; it will cut an eaſy paſſage thro' rocks and moun⯑tains; and join together diſtant countries, vi. 287. [vii. 287].
Kindred ſouls are always near, ibid.
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man. Inge⯑nuouſneſs. Love. Magnanimity. Modeſty. Pru⯑dence.
WHO, but a man's ſelf ought to ſuffer by his own raſhneſs or inconſideration? iv. 196. [v. 67].
Succeſsful Gameſters, who, before they play'd, were poſſeſſed of fortunes which would have enabled them to anſwer the ſtakes they play'd for, had they been loſers, have ſome plea to make to the loſer, ibid.
If the loſer would have exacted payment from them, [274] had he been a winner, he ought not to complain if they are rigorous to him, iv. 196. [v. 67].
The man who calls in the laws of his country to his aid, when he has been a loſer, will have this benefit, that he can never again be ſeen in the ſame company, ibid.
A man diſtreſſed by Gaming, ought to take care that he becomes not himſelf one of the very men he has ſo much reaſon to wiſh he had avoided, ibid.
And that he permit not creditors from valuable con⯑ſiderations to ſuffer by him, ibid.
What honeſt man would not rather be the ſufferer, than the defrauder? ibid.
What a diabolical nature muſt that man have, who, having been ruined himſelf, will endeavour to draw in other men to their ruin? ibid.
A juſt man will diveſt himſelf of his whole fortune, if neceſſary, for the ſatisfaction of his creditors, and live within the pittance their generoſity will allot him for ſubſiſtence, iv. 197. [v. 68].
And this not only for juſtice ſake; but, were his dif⯑ficulties owing to his own inconſideration, as a puniſh⯑ment for it, ibid.
To what pity can a man pretend who will put to hazard a certainty, in hope of obtaining a ſhare in the property of others? ibid.
Strange! that a man ſhould be ſo infatuated, as to put on the caſt of a die, the eſtate of which he is in un⯑queſtioned poſſeſſion from his anceſtors! iv. 398. [v. 269].
Yet who will ſay, that he who hopes to win what be⯑longs to another, does not deſerve to loſe his own? ibid.
A loſer at play will have the leſs reaſon for regretting the unhappy ſituation to which he has reduced himſelf, if his loſſes bring him to a right ſenſe of his folly, iv. 399. [v. 270].
AN unworthy man promoted, runs away with the re⯑ward due to the worthy, i. 24. [ibid].
[275] By the ſoftneſs or harſhneſs of the voice, ſome judg⯑ment may be made of the heart and manners of a wo⯑man, ſays Sir Rowland Meredith, i. 43. [ibid].
There are many bad wives, who would have been good ones, had they not married to their diſlike, i. 101. [ibid].
Good beginnings are neceſſary to good progreſſes, and to happy concluſions, i. 102. [ibid].
The love of two worthy people for each other, is a a proof of the goodneſs of both their hearts, i. 108. [ibid].
Diſg [...]ſts and affections cannot always be reaſonably accounted for, i. 114. [ibid].
An honeſt man muſt appear in every light with ſuch advantages, as will make even ſingularity agreeable, i. 121. [ibid].
Bad habits are ſooner acquired, than ſhaken off, i. 125. [ibid].
How many things muſt a man do in an exigence, who knows not what is right to be done! i. 174. [ibid].
Perſons who are ready to apologize for themſelves before they are accuſed, are to be ſuſpected, i. 254. [ibid].
What ſtraws do we catch at, to ſave our drowning hopes of the recovery of a dying friend, while life con⯑tinues, i. 283. [ibid].
Singularity is a fault to which great minds are too often ſubject, i. 322. [ii. 7].
Thoſe who have leaſt to do, are generally the buſieſt people in the world, i. 345. [ii. 30].
A man ſhould always miſtruſt himſelf, when inclina⯑tion is ſtrong, i. 417. [ii. 102].
Alarming ſpirits love not to be alarmed, ii. 7. [108].
Subjects may go off happily in converſation, which will not bear recital, ii. 13. [114].
The wives and daughters of citizens, too generally, are the apes of the gentry, ii. 58. [159].
There would be no ſupporting life, were we to feel quite as poignantly for others, as we do for ourſelves, ii. 63. [164].
[276] Boiſtrous ſpirits, whether fathers, huſbands, [or maſters] are generally moſt obſerved, ii. 80. [181].
Perſons of eminent abilities ſeldom err in ſmall points, ii. 217. [318].
The merchants of Great Britain are the moſt uſeful members of the commonwealth, ii. 242. [343].
One weakneſs, [as one crime] is frequently the pa⯑rent of another, ii. 333. [iii. 77].
Thoſe men who are the readieſt to give offence, are generally, when brought to the teſt, the moſt unfit to ſupport their own inſolence, ii. 354. [iii. 98].
The epithets, pretty, young, little, are great ſofteners of harſh words, ii. 380. [iii. 124].
Whiſpers in converſation are no more to be heard than aſides in a play, ii. 396. [iii 140].
Diſingenuous perſons do raſh things, and try to find an excuſe for them afterwards, iii. 222. [iv. 8].
Fear will make cowards loving, iii. 330. [iv. 116].
A diſappointed lover does not eaſily fix again, iii. 342. [iv. 128].
Different means may be taken to arrive at the ſame end, iii. 348. [iv. 134].
Great fortunes are great ſnares, iii. 384. [iv. 160].
The man who builds a merit on his civility, ſhews, that it is not natural to him, iv. 51. [223].
When we have taken a liking to any perſon, we are very ſolicitous that he ſhould think equally well of us, iv. 53. [225].
It is no bad ſign in a faulty perſon, to retain a reve⯑rence for the good, iv. 57. [229].
It is generally the way of thoſe who intend not to amend, to ſet their hearts againſt their admoniſhers, iv. 175. [v. 46].
It often happens, that the man who was once moſt likely to be happy in a near alliance with a reſpectable family, is, on the fruſtrating of his hope, looked upon, and for that reaſon, as the moſt remote from its friendly love, iv. 338. [v. 209].
We are often puniſhed by the grant of our own wiſhes, v. 5. [276].
There are circumſtances in which we think our be⯑haviour [277] was not right, yet know not in what it was wrong, v. 86. [vi. 64].
Good-natured men will often concede, when they are not convinced, v. 107. [vi. 85].
The mind can be but full. It will be as much filled with a ſmall diſagreeable occurrence, having no other, as with a large one, v. 312. [vi. 290].
The Engliſh populace, are honeſt, good-natured, wor⯑thy; and ſhew themſelves to be ſo, when perſons of good character attract their admiration by a public ap⯑pearance on any ſolemn occaſion [or engage their pity by an undeſerved diſtreſs] v. 348. [vi. 326].
We know not preſently, how to frame our lips to new names, or new titles, v. 363. [vi. 341].
Baſhful people are always increaſing their own diffi⯑culties, v. 371. [vi. 343].
It is much eaſier to find fault with others, than to be faultleſs ourſelves, ibid.
The reſpectful or ſlighting behaviour of poor neigh⯑bours, as a man of condition paſſes by them, will give the general character of ſuch a one, vi. 43. [vii. 43].
The impending evil is always the moſt dreaded, tho' the avoiding of that, frequently leads to a much worſe, vi. 99. [vii. 99].
An eaſy heart will give a very different appearance to proſpects, which from an uneaſy one, ſeem dark and cloudy, vi. 134. [vii. 134].
In almoſt every thing, we act but upon general pro⯑babilities. One exception out of a thouſand, ought never to determine us, vi. 207. [vii. 207].
Very few of us, poor mortals, know what is beſt for ourſelves, vi. 232. [vii. 232].
See Miſcellaneous Obſervations.
WHAT a conſciouſneſs of inferiority fills a generous mind, when it labours under the ſenſe of obligations it cannot return! i. 287. [ibid].
A generous man will not wiſh for the power of cir⯑cumſcribing a generous mind, ii. 122. [223].
Prudence is the meaſure of Generoſity, ibid.
[278] A man cannot be generous if he be not juſt, ii. 130. [231].
A generous man will delight in giving pleaſure to others; but it ought not to be expected in inſtances, that would give pain to himſelf, ii. 281. [iii. 25].
A generous ſpirit will not inſult the fallen, or diſ⯑graced, however faulty they may have been, ii. 338. [iii. 82].
Free minds bear not to be ungenerouſly dealt with, ii. 345. [iii. 89].
Generoſity (which is an higher grace than even juſtice) will not confine itſelf to obligations either written or ver⯑bal, iii. 43. [203].
True Generoſity has no mixture of pride or inſolence in it, iii. 249. [iv. 35].
Were policy only to be conſulted, a character for Ge⯑neroſity and Goodneſs is worth obtaining, iii. 328. iv. 227. [iv. 114. v. 98].
A generous man values riches principally as they en⯑able him to lay an obligation, and exempt him from the neceſſity of receiving one, iii. 348. [iv. 134].
A generous mind will be as ready to confer as to re⯑ceive a benefit, iv. 41. [213].
A diſintereſted and generous man is born a ruler, iv. 227. [v. 98].
How imperfect will a fine-ſpirited man think that happineſs, which he cannot enjoy without giving pain to another! iv, 259. v. 63. [v. 130. vi. 41].
A generous mind will be pained to receive preſents, which it knows not how either to deſerve or return, iv. 397. [v. 268].
A generous man will remember, that he has two hands to one tongue: he will uſe the latter to declare that both the former are at the ſervice of a friend in diſtreſs, iv. 399. [v. 270].
Princes are not above aſking money of their people, as free-gifts, on the marriage of their children, v. 72. [vi. 50].
He that would act more greatly than a prince, may, be⯑fore he is aware, be leſs than a gentleman, v. 73. [vi. 51].
A man diſpoſed to act nobly, and to ſacrifice his own [279] intereſt, on particular occaſions, will meet with generous reſtraint from a man of ſpirit, v. 73. [vi. 51].
A generous man will be thought a weak man, if he ſubmit to impoſition, v. 173. [vi. 151].
A generous man, on being preferred by a lady who has ſeveral lovers, will not forbear pitying thoſe whoſe diſappointment is owing to his happineſs, v. 299. vi. 5. [vi. 277. vii. 5].
The lady, on ſuch an occaſion, muſt, if worthy⯑minded, find a gentle ſigh ariſe in her boſom, whether ſhe ſees the lovers ſhe has refuſed, at uſual places, or if they forbear to come, where they were accuſtomed to ſee or meet her, ibid.
A generous mind will not accept of all that is offered by a generous mind, vi. 33. 78. [vii. 33. 78].
A generous mind may be led into error; but when it knows it to be error, it will not continue in it, vi. 252. [vii. 252].
See Beneficence. Good Man. Gratitude. Mag⯑nanimity. Modeſty.
GIRLS, who among themſelves have a new ſet of company to talk over, and when a new admirer is one of them, are not apt to break off converſation abruptly, i. 55. [ibid].
A very young wife often makes a vapouriſh mother, ii. 48. [149].
Girls ought not to marry before they have done grow⯑ing, ibid.
An early bloom in girls is not to be wiſhed for, ii. 300. [iii. 44].
There is as much difference in Girls as in fruits, with regard to their maturing, ibid.
When Girls begin to look out for admirers, their friends had better be aforehand with them, if poſſible, than to leave them to purvey for themſelves, iv. 56. [228].
To give a Girl conſequence with herſelf, and to ſeem to repoſe a confidence in her diſcretion, is often a pro⯑per way to make her act diſcretely, ibid.
[280] Parents ſhould not too long treat as Girls, thoſe daugh⯑ters who have found out that they are women, and who are treated as ſuch by others.
Lady G. thus ſets forth the beginning and progreſs of love, in Girls;
Young Girls, ſays ſhe, finding themſelves veſted with new powers, and a ſet of new inclinations, turn their ſtaring eyes out of themſelves, v. 184. [vi. 162].
They imagine that they muſt receive as a lover the firſt ſingle man that ſimpers at them, ibid.
Then they return downcaſt for ogle, that he may ogle on without interruption, ibid.
They are ſoon brought to anſwer letters which con⯑feſs flames the writer's heart never knew, ibid.
The Girl doubts not either her gifts or her conſe⯑quence: She is more and more beautiful in her own eyes, as he more and more flatters her, ibid.
Or if ſhe does doubt of her own perfections being ſo high as he ſeems to think them, ſhe queſtions not his ſincerity, and ſhe has heard a thouſand inſtances of the mighty power of love, transforming plainneſs into beauty, in the eye of a lover.
If her parents are a-verſe, the Girl is per-verſe; and the more, the leſs diſcretion there is in her paſſion, ibid.
She adopts the word conſtancy: She declaims againſt perſecution: She calls her idle flame love, which only was a ſomething ſhe knew not what to make of, a cu⯑pidity, that, like a wandering bee, had it not ſettled on this flower, would on the next, whether bitter or ſweet, v. 185. [vi. 163].
Love, adds this lively lady, is a word very happily at hand, to help giddy creatures to talk with, and look without confuſion of face on, a man, who, for the ſake, perhaps, of her fortune only, tells her a thouſand falſe⯑hoods, ibid.
Love is a paſſion that is generally confined to the days of girlhood. Even Girls in love would laugh at a wo⯑man who was violently ſtung with that paſſion, after ſhe was turned of honeſt thirty, or was at years of diſcre⯑tion, vi. 214. [vii. 214].
[281] See the articles Daughters. Fancy. Love at firſt Sight. Firſt Love. Clandeſtine Marriages. Mo⯑deſty. Parents and Children. Signs of Love. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
GLORY. See Honour.
THERE is a kind of magnetiſm in Goodneſs: Bad people, indeed, will find out bad people to aſſociate with, in order to keep one another in countenance; but they are bound together by a rope of ſand, ii. 321. [iii. 65].
While truſt, confidence, love, ſympathy, by a reci⯑procation of beneficent offices, twiſt a cord, which bind good men to one another, and cannot eaſily be broken, ibid.
Goodneſs is eſſential to true happineſs, ii. 369. [iii. 113].
Goodneſs and Greatneſs are ſynonomous terms, iii. 7. [167].
Goodneſs is an uniform thing, and will alike influence every part of a man's conduct, iii. 43. [203].
A good man will not value himſelf on his anceſtry alone, iii. 106. [266].
Honour ſhould be paid to men for better reaſons, than either for their riches or nobility, iii. 107. [267].
A man cannot be good, if not uniformly ſo, iv. 221. [v. 92].
The man who loves a young woman for the ſake of her Goodneſs, gives diſtinction to himſelf, vi. 3. [vii. 3].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man. Mo⯑deſty. Prudence.
HONESTY is good ſenſe, politeneſs, amiableneſs, all in one, i. 121. [ibid].
A Man of Honour qualifies not in points of veracity, be the occaſion either light or ſerious, i. 183. [ibid].
A good man, tho' above ſingularity, will be govern⯑ed [282] by the laws of reaſon and convenience, rather than by the faſhion, i. 190. [ibid].
Vice is a coward when it knows it will be reſolutely oppoſed, i. 197. [ibid].
What has a good man, unavoidably engaged in a right cauſe, to fear? i. 198. [ibid].
Grandeur of air, accompanied with eaſe and freedom of manners, good breeding, acceſſibility, are qual fica⯑tions in a man, that will attract the general love and reverence, i. 255. [ibid].
The good ſenſe of a really fine gentleman, is not ruſted over with ſourneſs or moroſeneſs, ibid.
He is above quarrelling with the world for trifles, ibid.
But ſtill more above making ſuch compliances with it, as would impeach either his honour or conſcience, ibid.
He will live to himſelf, and to his own heart, and make the approbation of the world, matter but of ſe⯑cond conſideration with him, ibid.
He will not be miſled either by falſe glory, or falſe ſhame, the great ſnares of virtue, ibid.
Men of truly great and brave ſpirits, are generally humane, tender, merciful, i. 272. [ibid].
While men of baſe and low minds are uſually tyran⯑nical, cruel, inſolent, where they have power, ibid.
Deviations, which in common men will be deemed ſlight, are not to be excuſed in men of exemplary cha⯑racters, i. 274. [ibid].
A good man will not be brought to diſavow a right meaſure, i. 290. [ibid].
A man who reſolves to pay a ſacred regard to laws divine and human, has no reaſon to fear a wicked man, i. 344. [ii. 29].
A Man of Honour would not marry a princeſs, did he not think ſhe preferred him to all other men, i. 359. [ii. 44].
A good man, where either truth or juſtice is concern⯑ed, will not palliate, i. 360. [ii. 45].
Occaſion calls not out every man equally to an exer⯑tion of great and amiable qualities, ibid.
The man who can ſubdue his paſſion, and forgive a real Injury, is a hero, i. 362. [ii. 47].
A wiſe man will not ſeek danger: But when he cannot [283] avoid it, he will conſider the occaſion as a call upon him for fortitude, i. 363. [ii. 48].
Intrepidity in danger is ſometimes the means of extri⯑cating a man from it, i. 363, 364, 365. [ii. 48, 49, 50].
A man who is not a timid man, has more reaſon than one who is, to be afraid of being provoked by inſult or affront, i. 377. [ii. 62].
A Good Man will honour him who lives up to his re⯑ligious profeſſion, whatever it be, ibid.
A Good Man will not engage even in a national cauſe, without examining the juſtice of it, i. 372. [ii. 57].
Extraordinary merit has ſome forfeitures to pay, ii. 3. [105].
To make his enemies his friends; to put wicked men into a way of reformation; and to make it a bad man's intereſt to be good; are happy incidents in the life of a worthy man, ii. 4. [106].
Equivocation as little becomes the mouth of a worthy perſon, as a downright falſity that of a leſs worthy man, ii. 15. [116].
What a glory, as well in its influences, as in itſelf, belongs to goodneſs, ii. 115. [216].
An honeſt man fears not a ſcrutiny into his conduct, ii. 119. [220].
Superior excellence, like ſunſhine, brings to light thoſe ſpots and freckles in inferior worth, on compariſon, which were hardly before diſcoverable, ii. 123. [224].
A Good Man will not ſtoop to flatter any one; and leaſt of all the great and the rich, ii. 128. [229].
It becomes a good man, in ſome caſes, to ſoften the ſeverity of his virtue, ii. 164. [265].
A Good Man will have a large charity; but will not extend it to credulity, ii. 212. [313].
A worthy man will allow a third perſon, when que⯑ſtions ariſe, to ſit in judgment upon his actions, ii. 213. [314].
Goodneſs muſt love goodneſs, ii. 222. [323].
A Good Man will not ſuffer the narrowneſs of other people's hearts to contract his own, ii. 232. [333].
A man who has made a right uſe of the power in⯑truſted to him, is amply rewarded in the conſciouſneſs of having ſo done, ii. 242. [343].
[284] A worthy man will make it his ſtudy, as far as his power reaches, to raiſe the hearts of ſuch deſerving per⯑ſons, as inevitable calamities have made ſpiritleſs, ii. 242. [343].
A Good Man will look upon every acceſſion of power to do good, as a new trial of the integrity of his heart, ii. 243. [344].
A Good Man will not be guilty of falſe modeſty, which, breaking out into ſingularity, would give the ſuſpicion of a wrong direction, in caſes where it may be of uſe to ſuppoſe a right one, ii. 267. [iii. 11].
A Good Man lives to his own heart. He thinks it not good manners to ſlight the world's opinion; tho' he will regard it only in the ſecond place, ii. 268. [iii. 12].
A Man of ſpirit and goodneſs will not, by his com⯑plaiſance, countenance the enormities of the great, ii. 281. [iii. 25].
A Good Man will be ready to do what is right, with⯑out being compelled to do it by law, ii. 287. [iii. 31.]
A truly beneficent man, having power, will aim at amending the hearts, as well as fortunes, of his friends and dependents, ii. 342. [iii. 88].
A benevolent man will not wiſh to hold in his hands the power, tho' he were not to exert it, of diſtreſſing the heart of a worthy man whom he has obliged, and whoſe honour he diſtruſts not, ii. 343. [iii. 89].
A Good Man muſt have difficulties to encounter with, by which a man of the world would not be embarraſſed, ii. 346. [iii. 90].
How much more glorious a character is that of the friend of mankind, than that of the conqueror of na⯑tions! ii. 357. [iii. 101].
The life of a good man [however unfaſhionable the doctrine] is a continual warfare with his paſſions, iii. 69. [229].
A Good Man, tho' he will value his own countrymen, yet will think as highly of the worthy men of every na⯑tion under the ſun, iii. 180. [340].
A Man of Honour will deem his good name his riches; his integrity his grandeur; princes to him are only princes as they act, iii. 181. [341].
[285] A good man, is a prince of the Almighty's creation, iii. 183. [343].
The public has a ſuperior claim in the abilities of a wiſe and good man, iii. 217. [iv. 3].
Where there are two lights, in which the behaviour of any perſon may be ſet, a good man will always chooſe the moſt favourable, iii. 220. [iv. 6].
A Good Man has no demands upon his eſtate or for⯑tune, but thoſe of reaſon, [and therefore will have it in his power to do generous things] iii. 248. [iv. 34].
The heart of a worthy man is ever on his lips. He will be pained when he cannot ſpeak all that is in it, iii. 277. [iv. 63].
It is ſometimes difficult for really good people, to for⯑bear doing ſomething more than goodneſs requires of them, iii. 282. [iv. 68].
A Good Man, in humble imitation of the Almighty, will be an encourager of the penitent, and an humbler of the impenitent, iii. 284. [iv. 70].
If a Good Man cannot be happy in his own affairs, he will rejoice in every opportunity put into his hands to promote the felicity of others, iii. 296. [iv. 82].
To be reſpected by the worthy is to be ranked as one of them, iv. 42. [214].
This reward have good perſons, that thoſe who will not imitate them, nevertheleſs, revere them, iv. 57. [229].
Thoſe who love a Good Man, do honour to themſelves, iv. 61. [233].
A Good Man will take his meaſures of right and wrong from his conſcience only, iv. 158. [v. 29].
Whether his goodneſs be gracefully accepted, or not, he will rejoice in having been enabled to do a juſt and generous thing, ibid.
Let a Good Man travel all the world over, he will go from friend to friend, iv. 165. [v. 36].
A Good Man is ſuperior to all attempts that are not grounded on honour and conſcience, iv. 167. [v. 38].
Women of ſlight fame have no way to come at a pru⯑dent and virtuous man, ibid.
While women of virtue are ſecure from any attempts of his, ibid.
[286] The Good Man will be ready to queſtion the recti⯑tude of his own heart, if, on examination, he has not reaſon to hope, that charity is the principal of his graces, iv. 195. [v. 66].
It is a great point gained with a Good Man, when, on looking impartially back on his own conduct, on ſome great event, whether proſperous or not, that he is entirely ſatisfied with himſelf, iv. 262. [v. 133].
A generous Man can enjoy the reward, in the good action, and look for no other, iv. 274. [v. 145].
Such a one can forget his own intereſt, when a right and juſt meaſure is to be taken, iv. 289. [v. 160].
The Man, who, in the greater actions of his life, thinks himſelf under the All-ſeeing eye, will not be afraid of a fellow-creature's ear, iv. 291. [v. 162].
An impartial ſpirit will admire goodneſs or greatneſs where-ever he meets with it, and whether it makes for or againſt him, iv. 313. [v. 184].
The conduct of a good and prudent man, will be apt to make a conſiderate perſon, who has connexions with him, afraid; ſince, if there be a fault between them, it will probably be all that perſon's, iv. 366. [v. 237].
A Good Man will be able to pray, that the Almighty will, in mercy, with-hold from him wealth or affluence, and make him dependent even for his daily bread, were riches to be a ſnare to him; and were he not to find his inclinations to do good, as occaſions offered, enlarge with his power, iv. 384. [v. 255].
Intrepidity and tenderneſs are inſeparable qualities in the heart of a man truly brave and good, v. 21. [292].
A Good Man can be happy in his own company, v. 89. [vi. 67].
Low, narrow jealouſies, will never enter the heart of a Good Man, v. 154. [vi. 132].
From whom can ſpirit, chearfulneſs, debonnairneſs, be expected, if not from a Good Man? v. 224. [vi. 202].
Auſterity, uncharitableneſs, on one hand, oſtentation, affectation, on the other, are qualities which can have no place in the heart of a Good Man, v. 227. [vi. 205].
What a bleſſing to all around him is a Good Man? v. 370. [vi. 348].
[287] A Good Man will have an unbounded charity and univerſal benevolence to men of all profeſſions: Imitate⯑ing the Divinity, he will regard the heart, rather than the head; and much more than rank or fortune, even were it princely: Yet is no leveller; but on the contra⯑ry, thinks that rank or degree, intitles a man not utter⯑ly unworthy of his rank, to reſpect, v. 374. [vi. 352].
A Good Man will be able to pity and conſole a dying friend, without ſaddening his own heart; for, living the life of duty, as he goes along, he fears not the in⯑evitable lot, vi. 14. [vii. 14].
Good Men, by perſeverance and uniformity, may bring all their friends and viſitors to allow of, and, occa⯑ſionally, to join in, his family devotion, vi. 33. [vii. 33].
A Man of Honour is more valuable to a ſingle woman in trouble, than all the riches of the eaſt, vi. 148. [vii. 148].
A Good Man has an intereſt in every worthy perſon's affections, vi. 150. [vii. 150].
The intention of a Man of Honour is his act, vi. 190. [vii. 190].
A Good Man will rather be a ſufferer than an aggreſ⯑ſor, vi. 251. [vii. 251].
A Good Man cannot allow himſelf to palliate or tem⯑porize with a duty, vi. 290. [vii. 290].
The intervention and character of a Good man will obviate many difficulties, ibid.
What cannot he effect? What force has his example? ibid. His love, his friendſhips are to be gloried in. Magnanimity and tenderneſs are united in his noble heart, ibid. Littleneſs of any kind has no place in it, ibid. All who know him are ſtudious to commend them⯑ſelves to his favourable opinion; they will be ſollicitous about what he will think of them; and, ſuppreſſing com⯑mon foibles before him, find their hearts expand, and will not know how to be mean, ibid.
What is there in the boaſted character of moſt of thoſe who are called HEROES, to the un-oftentatious me⯑rit of a GOOD Man? In what a variety of amiable lights does ſuch a one appear? In how many ways is he a [288] bleſſing and joy to his fellow-creatures? vi. 299. [vii. 299].
See Beneficence. Charity in Judgment. Duties Mo⯑ral and Religious. Example. Friendſhip. Ge⯑neroſity. Goodneſs. Magnanimity. Modeſty. Prudence. Religion. Virtue.
HOW do the duties of a Good Wife, a good mother, and worthy matron, well performed, dignify a woman! i. 28. [ibid].
A woman, to make a Good Wife, ſhould be acquaint⯑ed with the theory of the domeſtic duties, and not be aſhamed, occaſionally, to enter into the direction of the practic, i. 36. [ibid].
A Good Woman reflects honour on all thoſe who had any hand in her education, and on the company ſhe has kept, i. 50. [ibid].
Such a one will not allow herſelf to marry any man, with the hopes of his death, ii. 160. [261].
A Good Woman is one of the greateſt glories of the creation, ii. 278. 389. [ii. 379. iii. 133].
A woman of virtue, of good underſtanding, of fa⯑mily, ſkilled in, and delighting to perform the duties of, the domeſtic life, needs not fortune to recommend her to the choice of the greateſt and richeſt man, who wiſhes his own happineſs, iii. 225. [iv. 11].
A Good Woman's proſpects of happineſs with a good man, reach into eternity, v. 227. [vi. 205].
See Advice to Women. Education. Female Dig⯑nity. Marriages. Modeſty. Prudence. Single Women.
WHO that lies under the weight of an unreturnable obligation, can view the obliger but with the moſt de⯑licate ſenſibilities, i. 20. [ibid].
There are dark ſpirits who are capable of hating the perſons who oblige them beyond return, i. 266. [ibid].
Where high reſpect is entertained, grateful hearts will be always ready to accuſe themſelves of imperfections, [289] which no one elſe can charge them with, i. 347. [ii. 32].
Grateful hearts will always retain a ſenſe of favours conferred upon them, ii. 226. [327].
Too great obligations from one ſide will create awe and diſtance from the other, ibid.
A grateful mind will be thankful for benefits paſt, altho' its further expectations ſhould not be anſwered, ii. 231. [332].
Love and Gratitude cannot be eaſily ſeparated, iii. 232. [iv. 18].
If a benefactor comply not with all our hopes, we ought to retain a grateful ſenſe of the benefits we have actually received at his hands, iii. 279. [iv. 65].
A right heart cannot be ingrateful, iii. 290. [iv. 76].
Little offices, if done with tolerable grace, will make a noble ſpirit think itſelf under obligation, vi. 164. [vii. 164].
See Generoſity.
WHEN the heart is ſoftened, either by Grief or Pity, light impreſſions will go deep, i. 150. [ibid].
Surprizes from joy are generally ſooner recovered from, than thoſe from Grief, i. 287. [ibid].
Tears, when time has matured a pungent Grief into a ſweet melancholy, are not hurtful. They are as the dew of the morning to the green herbage, ii. 35. [136].
There is a pleaſure as well as pain in Melancholy, iii. 102. [262].
A talkative Grief is ſooner got over, than a ſilent one, iv. 254. [v. 125].
When the whole mind is taken up with a diſaſtrous ſubject, the entering into it with a faithful friend can⯑not be a renewal of Grief, iv. 322. [v. 193].
Tho' we need not ſeek for melancholy ſubjects to give us diſtreſs of mind, yet we ought not, perhaps, to ſhun them, when they naturally come to our knowlege, v. 248. [vi. 226].
A ſhy young woman, obſerves Lady G. may poſſibly, [290] when a ſubject of Grief occurs, be caught by her lover in a weeping fit, v. 339. [vi. 317].
The heart, ſoftened by Grief, will turn to a com⯑forter, ibid.
A woman's own cauſe of Grief, produces pity for another: Pity begets love: They are next neighbours, and will call in to aſk kindly how the ſufferer does, ibid.
And what a heart muſt Grief have, if it will not be grateful to love, when it makes its neighbourly call? ibid.
A truly beneficent man will find out the ſighing heart, and relieve it, before it is overwhelmed with calamity, vi. 45. [vii. 45].
See Adverſity. Conſolation.
WHERE the reputation of a lady is concerned, a Guardian not in years, ſhould not depend too much upon his own character, however unexceptionable, ii. 269. [iii. 13].
A worthy Guardian will endeavour to make his female ward the wife of a man's love, rather than of his own convenience, iii. 280. [iv. 66].
A generous Guardian will not require implicit obe⯑dience from his ward, iii. 290. [iv. 78].
A good man will be very careful in the caſe of his Guardianſhip, how he advances himſelf or family, by virtue of the truſt repoſed in him, v. 63. [vi. 41].
Were his ward to be advanced by an alliance with him; he not with her; or were the advantage reciprocal; in thoſe caſes is the Guardian juſtified, ibid.
But in this delicate caſe, the Guardian putting him⯑ſelf in the ſituation of the deceaſed parent, and act⯑ing as he conſcientiouſly thinks the parent, if living, would have done, he will have the beſt rule for his conduct on ſuch an occaſion.
A young woman from fourteen to twenty, is often a troubleſome charge on a friendly heart, v. 178. [vi. 156].
A Guardian will be very careful not to influence his ward in favour of his friend or relation, however near [291] and dear he is to him; eſpecially if ſhe has a great for⯑tune, vi. 37. [vii. 37].
But if ſuch a near relation or friend, and the young lady, voluntarily prefer each other to every one elſe, and the young lady mean not a compliment to him, he will not, upon mere motives of delicacy, ſtand in their way, ibid. [See Indulgence. Parents and Children.
HE that builds his Happineſs on the favour of the great, pins his tranquillity to the feather in another man's cap, ii. 368. [iii. 112].
In the general oeconomy of providence none of the ſons of men are unhappy, but ſome others are the hap⯑pier for it, iii. 97. [257].
High pleaſure and high pain are very near neigh⯑bours. They are often guilty of exceſſes, and then are apt to miſtake each other's houſe, iii. 175. [335].
That only is Happineſs which we think ſo, iii. 317. [iv. 103].
An eaſy heart goes a great way to the cure of deſpe⯑rate maladies, v. 139. [vi. 117].
In the domeſtic or private life, after all the buſtle and parade that can be made, lies the true, becauſe untumultuous Happineſs, vi. 6. 35. [vii. 6. 35].
When we are not quite happy in our own thoughts, it is a relief to carry them out of ourſelves, vi. 37. [vii. 37].
The Happineſs of human life is at beſt but compara⯑tive, vi. 201. [vii. 201].
The utmoſt Happineſs we ſhould hope for, in this life, is ſuch a ſituation, as, with a ſelf-approving mind, will carry us beſt thro' this ſcene of trial, ibid.
That woman may be ſaid to be happy, who marries the man of her choice; and he choſen by her friends, and generally eſteemed by thoſe who know him, ibid.
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man. Mar⯑riage. Prudence.
HONEST MAN. See Good Man.
THE word or thing called glory, what miſchiefs has it not occaſioned? ii. 183. [284].
Punctilio is not to be ſtood upon, where conceſſion is a duty, ii. 364. [iii. 108.].
People, thro' Punctilio, are frequently unpunctilious, iii. 75. [235].
What is l [...]fe without reputation? Do we not wiſh to be remembered with honour after death? iii. 222. [iv. 8].
The conſciouſneſs of inferiority and obligation, will ſet a proud and punctilious mind upon hunting for rea⯑ſons to juſtify its caprices, v. 81. [vi. 59].
Punctilio is but the ſhadow of Honour, v. 207. [vi. 185].
Punctilio begets Punctilio, and has no determinate end, v. 210. [vi. 188].
See Challenges. Duelling. Duties Moral and Re⯑ligious. Example. Generoſity. Good Man. Magnanimity.
MANY young creatures, drawn in by the artifices of men, had they an opportunity given them, would willingly make their firſt departure from virtue their laſt, iii. 356. [iv. 142].
Their own ſex are often more inexorable to ſuch poor creatures than the other, ibid.
Thoſe men who pretend, that they would not be the firſt deſtroyers of a woman's virtue, look upon theſe un⯑happy creatures, as fair prize, ibid.
But what a wretch is he, who ſeeing a poor creature expoſed on the ſummit of a dangerous precipice, would rather puſh her into the gulph below, than lend her his hand, to convey her down in ſafety, ibid.
Credulity, the child of good-nature, is, generally, rather than viciouſneſs, the foundation of the crime of ſuch unhappy young creatures, ibid.
See the ſcheme for ſuch an hoſpital, Vol. iii. 357. [iv. 143].
See Libertine. Seduction.
THE truly brave, muſt be humane, v. 42. vi. 190. [vi. 20. vii. 190].
The truly brave man can hardly ſhew a greater in⯑ſtance of Humanity, than by looking back with tender⯑neſs and compaſſion upon the infantile and helpleſs ſtate he himſelf was once in, ibid.
See Beneficence. Friendſhip. Generoſity. Good Man. Goodneſs. Gratitude. Ingenuouſneſs. Virtue.
HUMAN Nature is pretty much the ſame in every country, allowing for different cuſtoms, and different edu⯑cati n, i. 259. [ibid].
If the human mind is not actively good, it will gene⯑rally be actively evil, i. 328. [ii. 13].
A clergyman who is an honour to his cloth, may be ſaid to be an ornament to Human Nature, i. 330. [ii. 15].
Libertiniſm, by ſome, is called a knowlege of the world, a knowlege of Human Nature; but the cha⯑racter of Human Nature, it is hoped, is not to be taken from the overflowings of dirty imaginations, ii. 83. [184].
Attention, love, admiration, cannot be always kept upon the ſtretch [Human Nature will not bear it] iii. 345. [iv. 131].
On the return of a long-abſent friend, for example, the rapture laſts not more than an hour, ibid.
Gladdened as the heart is, the friend received, and the friend receiving, perhaps in leſs than an hour, can ſit down quietly together, to hear and tell ſtories of what has happened to either in their long-regretted abſence, ibid.
Human Nature in general, is not ſo bad a thing as ſome diſgracers of their own ſpecies have ſeemed to ima⯑gine, iv. 146. [v. 17].
HUMILITY and good humour will give a weak man a preference to an arrogant or conceited one, i. 52. [ibid].
To look forward to thoſe who excel us, rather than backward to thoſe whom we ſuppoſe we excel, is neceſ⯑ſary to obtain the grace of Humility, i. 256. [ibid].
The Humility and Diffidence of a worthy young perſon, will be increaſed with the truſt and confidence repoſed in his or her diſcretion, ii. 245. [346].
See Modeſty.
HUMOUR. See Ridicule.
A WOMAN is more the property of her huſband, than he is hers, i. 111. [ibid].
Thoſe perſonal qualities which make a man generally admired, ſometimes occaſion an abatement in his Wife's happineſs, i. 255. [ibid].
It is a tranſporting thing for an affectionate Wife to receive a worthy Huſband returning to her after a long abſence, or an eſcaped danger, i. 345. [ii. 30].
The man of middle capacity, Lady G. ſays, makes the beſt Huſband to a woman who has talents, i. 389. [ii. 74].
Such a one knows juſt enough, ſhe ſays, to induce him to admire in her, what he has not in himſelf, ibid.
If ſhe has prudence enough to give him conſequence before folks, ſhe will be able to manage him as ſhe pleaſes, ibid.
But a fool and a wit are equally unmanageable, i. 390. [ii. 75].
Managing women are not, generally, the beſt to live with, i. 394. [ii. 79].
Married women need not to look out of their fami⯑lies, ſo often as ſome of them do, for employment; and that not only of the moſt uſeful, but of the moſt de⯑lightful ſort, i. 412. [ii. 97].
The woman who has a gay Huſband ſhould never re⯑fuſe [295] him her company abroad, when he deſires it, ii. 29. [130].
The prudent woman who has an expenſive Huſband, will endeavour, (if ſhe cannot reſtrain him) by her oeco⯑nomy, to enable him to ſupport his extravagancies with as little diſcredit to himſelf, or hurt to his family, as poſ⯑ſible, ii. 30. [131].
The duty of a worthy Wife will be founded in prin⯑ciple, not in tameneſs or ſervility, ii. 31. [132].
The vices of a Huſband, call forth the virtues of a Wife, ii. 83. [184].
A Wife can do no more than her duty by a Huſband who is not a ſavage, ii. 229. iv. 342. [ii. 330. v. 213].
The moſt happily married woman muſt have a will, to which ſhe muſt reſign her own, [or break her marriage vow] ii. 226. [iii. 70].
A Wife may allow, in general, of a Huſband's ſupe⯑rior underſtanding [where it is very apparent]; but in particular caſes, and as they fall out one by one, the man may find it difficult to have it allowed in any one inſtance, ii. 401. [iii. 145].
There ſhould not be a rivalry in particular qualities between Man and Wife, ii. 379. [iii. 123].
The world will find occaſions enow for exerciſing the patience of a married pair, without their needing to ſtudy for them, ii. 415. iv. 71. [iii. 160. iv. 243].
Contempt, or the appearance of it, in a Wife, what man can bear? iii. 4. [164].
The exaſperated ſpirit of a meek man is more to be apprehended, than the ſudden guſts of anger of a paſ⯑ſionate one, iii. 4. 243. [iii. 164. iv. 29].
A lively woman, who marries a man of inferior un⯑derſtanding, ought to be more careful of reſtraining her vivacity, than ſhe need to be, if the difference were in his favour, iii. 6. [166].
The woman who depreciates her huſband, ſtill more depreciates herſelf, ibid.
The woman who ſets out regardleſs of her Huſband's diſpleaſure, may make her petulance habitual to him, and live to rejoice in ſeeing him pleaſed with her, iii. 304. [iv. 90].
[296] Men in the former age uſed to have many ways that women had not, to divert themſelves abroad, when they could not be happy at home, iii. 304, 305. [iv. 90, 91].
But modern women, as Lady G. obſerves, can every hour of the twenty-four be up with their monarchs, if they are undutiful, iii. 305. [iv. 91].
If a woman would have the world reſpect her Huſband, ſhe muſt ſet the example, iii. 329. [iv. 115].
The Wife who gives the leaſt room to ſuſpect that ſhe deſpiſes her Huſband, ſubjects him to contempt if he re⯑ſent it not; and if he do, can ſhe be happy? ibid.
There is a kind of immorality in the public fondneſs of a married pair, iv. 22. [194].
A woman cannot more effectually diſhonour herſelf, than by expoſing her Huſband, iv. 33. [205].
A fond Huſband, Lady G. ſays, is a ſurfeiting thing; yet ſhe believes moſt women love to be made monkeys of, iv. 74. [246].
Lord and maſter, ſays Lady G. do not always go to⯑gether, tho' they do too often for the happineſs of many a meek ſoul of our ſex, iv. 86. [258].
Thoſe Huſbands, ſays the ſame lively Lady, are not to be forgiven, who will argue when they have nothing to ſay, iv. 87. [259].
Many Huſbands praiſe their Wives, many Wives their Huſbands, Lady G. ſays, to do credit to their choice, who, were they at their option, would be hanged rather than renew their bargain, iv. 242. [v. 113].
Happy the Huſband, happy the wife, who on the death of either, has no material cauſe of ſelf-reproach, on reflecting on his or her behaviour to the departed, iv. 243. [v. 114].
When harmony reigns between a wedded pair, their very foibles will make them ſhine in every eye, v. 4. [275].
If a Huſband has foibles, a wife ſhould be very care⯑ful how ſhe expoſes him for them, v. 14. [285].
The tender and polite, yet diſcreet, behaviour of a Huſband to his Wife in public, does as much credit to his own heart, as to her, v. 174. [vi. 152].
Real and unaffected tenderneſs from a healthy Wife to [297] an Huſband labouring under ſickneſs, or the infirmities of age, is the very eſſence of generous love, vi. 36. [vii. 36].
A good Huſband and good Wife are the world to each other, vi. 37. [vii. 37].
An Huſband ſeldom cares to be convinced by a Wife's arguments; the leſs, if he is jealous of the ſuperiority of her underſtanding, vi. 73. [vii. 73].
What hopes then can a woman have of reforming an habitual rake; who holds her cheap, perhaps, for the very choice ſhe has made of him in preference to a better man?
A ſcoffer is a wit in his own opinion; his conceit, as well as profligacy, will render him impenetrable to a Wife's arguments, tho' ever ſo reaſonable and concluſive, vi. 73. [vii. 73].
It ſeems neceſſary, to the happineſs of common minds in wedlock, that the woman ſhould have a greater opi⯑nion of her Huſband's underſtanding, than ſhe has of her own, vi. 131. [vii. 131].
See Good Wife. Love. Marriage. Marriage Bic⯑kerings. Men and Women. Prudence. Wit.
CONSCIOUSNESS of demerit, is often the parent of Jealouſy, iii. 222. [iv. 8].
What will not Love and Jealouſy united, make a man do! v. 152. [vi. 130].
As a woman's honour is of a more delicate nature than that of a man, with regard to perſonal love, a man may be as jealous of a woman's warm civility to another man, as a woman may be of a man's love to another woman, v. 276. [vi. 254].
ILL-WILL. See Anger.
IMPARTIALITY. See Ingenuouſneſs.
INDULGENCE will be a ſtronger tie upon a gene⯑rous mind, than either intereſt or inclination, i. 38. [ibid].
A generous reliance placed by parents and guardians in the diſcretion of a young lady who wants not grati⯑tude, will make her more difficult in the diſpoſing of herſelf, than if ſhe were made uneaſy by diſtruſt and confinement, i. 38. 45. [ibid].
How can palſied age, ſays the good old Mrs. Shirley, which affords but a terrifying object to youth, except the Indulgence, the love, of the young and gay, if it do not ſtudy to promote thoſe pleaſures of which itſelf was fond in youth? v. 288. [vi. 266].
Enjoy innocently, your ſeaſon, girls, once ſaid ſhe, ſetting half a ſcore of young ladies into country-dances, ibid.
I watch for the failure of my memory, and ſhall ne⯑ver give it over, for quite loſt, till I have forgotten what were my own innocent wiſhes and delights in the days of my youth, ibid.
The way to judge of the propriety of a preſent In⯑dulgence, is to look back to what we ſhould have thought of it, before we allowed ourſelves in it, vi. 90. [vii. 90].
By an Indulgence growing upon us in the paſſed year, we may be apprehenſive of the head it will gain upon us in the next, if not prudently reſtrained, ibid.
See Generoſity. Good Man. Gratitude. Guardian. Parents and Children.
MEN, in the pride of their hearts, are apt to ſup⯑poſe that nature has deſigned them to be ſuperior to women: the higheſt proof that can be given of ſuch ſuperiority, is the protection afforded by the ſtronger to the weaker, iii. 45. [205].
What can that man ſay for himſelf, or for his haughty pretenſion, who employs all his arts to ſeduce, betray, and ruin the creature whom he ſhould guide and pro⯑tect, ibid.
[299] After all, ſays Miſs Byron, ſpeaking of courage in men, I think we muſt allow a natural ſuperiority in the minds of men over women. Do we not want protection? And does not that want imply Inferiority? v. 287. [vi. 265].
Yet, if there be two ſorts of courage, acquired and natural, why may not the former be obtained by women, as well as by men, were they to have the ſame educa⯑tion? Natural courage may belong to either, ibid.
But women have more ſilly antipathies than men, which help to keep them down: Which, however, may be owing rather to affectation, at firſt, than to natural imbecility of mind, ibid.
A frog, a toad, a ſpider, a beetle, an earwig, will give us, proceeds ſhe, mighty pretty tender terror; while the heroic men will trample under foot the inſect, and look the braver for their barbarity, and for our delicate ſcreaming, ibid.
But, for an adventure, concludes ſhe, if a lover gets us into one, we frequently leave him a great way behind us, ibid.
For the notion of the Inferiority and Superiority of men and women, ſee the amicable debate between Lady G. Mrs. Shirley, Sir Charles Grandiſon, and others, Vol. v. Let. lviii. [Vol. vi. Let. lv].
AN ingenuous mind will not be afraid of a monitor, i. 16. [ibid].
We ought to judge of our friends as they deſerve; not as being our friends, i. 31. [ibid].
A noble mind will be ever ready, on conviction, to acknowlege its miſtakes, i. 290. [ibid].
Eſteem and love ſhould be founded on merit, not on mere relation, ii. 89. [190].
Mercy and juſtice are ſiſter-graces, and, in a virtu⯑ous boſom, ſhould not be ſeparated, ii. 107. [208].
No one can judge properly of another, that cannot, in imagination, be that other, when he takes the judg⯑ment-ſeat, ii. [...]08. iv. 315. [ii. 209. v. 186].
[300] The laws of truth and juſtice are ever the ſame, ii. 157. [258].
What others would not have done in a like ſituation, will not be conſidered by a good man, ii. 157, 158. [258, 259].
Juſtice will be thought a ſevere thing by the unjuſt, ii. 158. [259].
A man of intrinſic merit will not ſeek to raiſe his own character at the expence of that of another, ii. 162. [263].
Tho' I ſay it, that ſhould not ſay it; a faulty phraſe, when it is ſpoken of a deſerving relation, ii. 239, 240. [340, 341].
Mercy ſhould never be ſeparated from juſtice, ii. 242. [343].
It is a weakneſs to look without abatement of eſteem on thoſe faults in one perſon, which we ſhould hold utterly inexcuſable in another, ii. 265. [iii. 9].
A worthy man will not plead his privilege, to defend himſelf againſt a legal purſuer, ii. 325. [iii. 69].
The perſon who treats even a faulty perſon with in⯑juſtice or hardſhip, makes himſelf enemies, and the cri⯑minal friends, [pitiers at leaſt] ibid.
Let not even the faulty have juſt cauſe to complain of us, ii 364. [iii. 108].
We ſhould do proper things for our own ſakes, whe⯑ther perſons are capable of gratitude or not, ii. 366, 367. [iii. 110, 111].
In caſes of right and wrong, we ought not to know either friend or relation, iii. 7. [166].
For the honour of the ſex, let it not be ſaid, that a woman, whoſe glory is compaſſionate tenderneſs, is not to be prevailed upon to do an act of kindneſs, much leſs of juſtice, iii. 238. [iv. 24].
An ingenuous perſon who has inſiſted upon a wrong meaſure, will, when convinced, recede with a grace, iii. 241. [iv. 27].
We ought not to be diſpleaſed with, nor depreciate, the perſon, who cannot do for us, or be to us, all we wiſh, iii. 279. [iv. 65].
It is a degree of merit, to acknowlege with ſome grace an error, iv. 33. [205].
[301] The acknowlegement of a fault affords as much ho⯑nour as could be gained by a victory, iv. 136. [v. 7].
Were the aggreſſor, in a quarrel, the neareſt and deareſt of all others to us, an impartial perſon will condemn him, and eſpouſe the cauſe of the ſufferer, iv. 172. [v. 43].
To what we know to be right, we ought to ſubmit; the more difficult it is to do ſo, the more praiſe-worthy, v. 60. [vi. 38].
To do juſtice againſt ourſelves, is intitling ourſelves at leaſt to a ſecond merit, ibid.
A perſon is guilty of falſe heroiſm, who in doing more juſtice than is due to one perſon, does leſs than is due to another, vi. 252. [vii. 252].
See Good Man. Modeſty. Sincerity.
INGRATITUDE. See Gratitude.
AN injured perſon muſt have dignity on ſeeing the injurer, which the latter muſt want, i. 382. [ii. 67].
A protector of injured Innocence, if a generous man, will be careful of acting in ſuch a manner, as ſhall leſſen the merit of his protection, i. 385. [ii. 70].
Innocence is an attractive equally to the attempts of men and devils, ii 91. [192].
An Innocent man, if calamity befal him, or thoſe he loves, will rejoice that he was not the occaſion of it, ii. 322. [iii. 66].
She who loves another for her Innocence and worthy heart, has reaſon to love herſelf, vi. 175. [vii. 175].
Whom ſhall an innocent and injured man fear? iii. 203. [363].
See Education. Example. Duties Moral and Reli⯑gious. Good Man. Goodneſs. Happineſs. Mo⯑deſty.
INSINCERITY. See Sincerity.
INTEMPERANCE. See Ebriety.
JOY. See Mirth.
JUSTICE. See Ingenuouſneſs.
WOULD perſons of ſenſe and diſtinction more fre⯑quently than they do, act as Juſtices of Peace, the of⯑fice would be lighter to every one, and would keep the great power veſted in this claſs of magiſtrates, and which is every year increaſing, out of mean and mercenary hands, vi. 263. [vii. 263].
And do not men of conſideration in the world, owe it to their tenants and neighbours, to employ in their ſervice thoſe advantages of rank and education, which make it eaſy for them to clear up and adjuſt matters that would be of endleſs perplexity to the parties concerned? ibid.
KEEPERS. See Kept Women.
WHAT a frail tenure is that by which a Kept Woman holds! ii. 94. [195].
Keeping men often yield up points to the teazing arts of a low-born miſtreſs, which they would not concede to a worthy wife, ii. 98. [199].
Keepers (made by their vices real ſlaves) imagine themſelves maſters of their liberty, and ſit down ſatisfied with the ſound of the word, ibid.
The reputation of a woman is above all price, ii. 324. [iii. 68].
Every quarterly payment, every preſent made, to a perſon engaged in a guilty Attachment, muſt ſtrike her to the heart, when overtaken by compunction, to be⯑hold in it the wages of her ſhame, ii. 324, 325. [iii. 68, 69].
The woman who has forfeited her own reputation will not be careful of the man's, ibid.
Folly encounters with folly in a Guilty Attachment, ii. 326. [iii. 70].
Unprincipled women bear teſtimony to the honour of [303] virtue, by the high price they generally ſet upon their firſt departure from it, ii. 327. [iii. 71].
The woman who ſtipulates a price for her virtue, knows the uncertainty of the tenure by which ſhe holds, ibid.
How can a Keeper complain of the miſbehaviour of his woman, be it ever ſo baſe? Does ſhe not firſt miſbe⯑have to herſelf, to her ſex, and break thro' all laws divine and human? ii. 328. [iii. 72].
Ought a man who brings a woman to violate her firſt duties, to expect from her a regard to a mere diſcre⯑tionary obligation? ibid.
It muſt be a wretchedneſs beyond what can be con⯑ceived, for a man and woman to live together a life of guilt, yet with hatred, animoſity, or even indifference, to each other, ibid.
God knows what he will forgive; but his forgiveneſs, however, depends, in a great meaſure, upon the offen⯑ders themſelves, ii. 329. [iii. 73].
Where hatred or diſlike has once taken place of like⯑ing, in a Guilty Attachment, the firſt ſeparation is always beſt, ibid.
Guilty perſons render themſelves contemptible in the eyes even of thoſe very minions who adminiſter to their unlawful pleaſures, ibid.
The woman who has not virtue, has no title to ſpirit or reſentment, ibid.
The daughter of a cottager, who keeps her virtue, is ſuperior to the greateſt man on earth, who ſeeks to cor⯑rupt her. [He himſelf allows her to be ſo, in the court he makes to her, as well as by the indignity he offers both to her and himſelf] ii. 329, 330. [iii. 73, 74].
Keepers are generally, tho' bravoes of the law, cowards and cullies to their paramours, ii. 330. [iii. 74].
Indeed the courage of the men, who can defy the laws of ſociety (to magnanimity they muſt be ſtrangers) is ever to be doubted, ibid.
The Keeper, by the ſame act, ſinks his own conſe⯑quence, and generally raiſes that of an inferior and low⯑bred woman, ii. 332. [iii. 76].
[304] The private man who quarrels with his woman for no reaſon but to take another, is a worſe man than Henry VIII. for he allowed not himſelf to be either a Keeper or Polygamiſt, ii. 341. [iii. 85].
Guilty Attachments are often the cauſe of mens de⯑ſpiſing a legal one, iii. 44. [204].
And what are the invectives of free livers againſt the legal one, but meanly ſtudied attempts to juſtify the way of life they have fallen into? ibid.
A good heart, a delicate mind, cannot aſſociate with a corrupt one, ibid.
What tie can bind a woman who has parted with her honour? ibid.
What, in a Guilty Attachment, muſt be a man's alter⯑native, but either to be the tyrant of a wretch who has given him reaſon to deſpiſe her, or the dupe of one who deſpiſes him? ibid.
It is the important leſſon of life in the preſent union of ſoul and body, to reſtrain the unruly appetites of the latter, and to improve the faculties of the former, ibid.
Can this end be reſtrained by licentious indulgencies, and profligate aſſociations? ibid.
How much in the power of women are the reſolutions of a ſenſual man! iii. 48. [208].
See Addreſs to Men of Senſe in the gay World. Li⯑bertines. Seduction. Vice.
KINDRED minds will ſoon recognize one another, i. 204. [ibid].
Two ſiſters agreed to manage a love-affair, have ad⯑vantages over a lady and her woman, i. 391. [ii. 76].
Siſters are ſometimes convenient to each other in a baſhful or beginning love, ii. 16. [117].
Brothers and ſiſters, when they are deprived of one or both parents, ſhould endeavour to ſupply to each other the irreparable loſs, ii. 136. [237].
Relations have a right to expect to be made eaſy and happy, by ſuch of their Kindred as can make them ſo, without hurting themſelves, iii. 253. [iv. 39].
Men of rank, if men of merit, muſt be of Kindred, [305] and recognize the relation the moment they meet, iii. 255. [iv. 41].
What is the relation of body to that of mind? iii. 336. [iv. 122].
True brotherly love will ever hold the principal ſeat in the heart of a good man, when he ſits in judgment upon a ſiſter's conduct, vi. 132. [vii. 132].
Why, taking advantage of the defenceleſſneſs of her ſex is a ſiſter to be treated by her brothers in a love caſe (not diſgracefully circumſtanced) as if ſhe had not a will of her own, when, perhaps, ſhe is not inferior to them, either in diſcretion or underſtanding? vi. 138. [vii. 138].
See Love. Perſuaſion. Single Women.
LANGUAGES. See Learning.
LAUGHTER. See Mirth.
THE Law was not made for a man of conſcience, ii. 118. [219].
If two contending parties, before they commence a Law ſuit, would ſit down and calculate the probable ex⯑pences, and agree, the one to give, the other to take, what, if they were to proſecute the ſuit, would probably be the Lawyer's ſhare, the compromiſe would be fre⯑quently a great ſaving of expence to both, as well as of time and vexation, v. 24, 25. [vi. 2, 3].
A good man will not appear to ſupport his neareſt and deareſt friend in an unjuſt cauſe, v. 27. [vi. 5].
See Mediation.
THE man of the town, and the pedant, are two ex⯑treme points in compariſon with each other, i. 58. [ibid].
Vaſt is the field of Science. The more a man knows, the more he will find he has to know, i. 60. [ibid].
[306] Good-nature, a general philanthropy, but not a love of perſons for their faults, mark the true ſatiriſt, i. 61. [ibid].
The world is one great Univerſity, i. 62. [ibid].
The knowlege that is to be obtained in the leſſer Uni⯑verſity, ſhould not make a man deſpiſe what is to be ac⯑quired in the greater, in which, that knowlege was prin⯑cipally intended to make him uſeful, i. 62. [ibid].
Smatterers in Learning are the moſt opinionated, i. 64. [ibid].
Learning conſiſts not in the knowlege of Languages, i. 66. [ibid].
The firſt great genius had not human example, and human precepts, to improve by, i. 66. [ibid].
Language is but a vehicle to Science; it is not Science itſelf, i. 67. [ibid].
Great reſpect ſhould, however, be paid to Linguiſts; but ought that confuſion of tongues, which was intend⯑ed to puniſh preſumption, to be thought our greateſt glory now? i. 71. [ibid].
It were to be wiſhed, that in all Nurſeries of Learn⯑ing, the manners of youth were propoſed as the principal end, ibid.
Morals and good breeding are too generally obliged to give way to that Learning, which is of little moment, but as it inculcates and promotes thoſe, ibid.
Sir Hargrave Pollexfen ſays, that many of the young men at the Univerſities, in the preſent age, are in more danger of becoming fine gentlemen, than fine ſcholars, ibid.
As it is ſaid of the advantages of birth and degree, ſo may it be ſaid of Learning, ſays Mr. Walden, no one that has pretenſions to it, deſpiſes it, i. 72. [ibid].
Too great a portion of life is beſtowed in the learn⯑ing of Languages, i. 72. 76. [ibid].
Are not the works of many of the antients, Harriet aſks, more to be admired for the ſtamp which antiquity has fixed upon them, and for the ſake of their purity in Languages which cannot alter, than for the lights [307] obtained from them, by men of genius in ages more en⯑lighten'd than theirs? i. 72. [ibid].
The reputation of Learning is often acquired by writers who treat on ſubjects that only ſerve to amuſe inquiſitive minds, and in themſelves are of very little uſe to the greater purpoſes of life and knowlege, ibid.
People who leaſt know how to argue, are generally the moſt contentious, ibid.
Homer, Virgil, Milton, were learned men, yet wrote their immortal works in their reſpective native Lan⯑guages, i. 73. [ibid].
Milton's frequent recourſes to the pagan mythology, in a work, that ſo greatly adorns a much nobler, the chriſtian, thought by ſome to be a condeſcenſion to the taſte of perſons of his time, who had more reading than genius, ibid.
Much noble knowlege is to be had in the Engliſh and French Languages, (Biſhop Burnet) i. 76. [ibid].
Geography, hiſtory, the knowlege of nature, and the more practical parts of the mathematics, may make a perſon very knowing, without a word of Latin (Biſhop Burnet) ibid.
There is a fineneſs of thought, and a nobleneſs of ex⯑preſſion in the Latin authors, that will make them the entertainment of a man's whole life, if he once under⯑ſtands them, and reads them with delight: But if this cannot be attained, I would not (ſays the ſame Prelate) have it reckoned, that the education of an ill Latin ſcho⯑lar is to be given up, i. 77. [ibid].
The Language of nature is one Language throughout the world, tho' there are different modes of ſpeech to ex⯑preſs it by, i. 260. [ibid].
Every learned man is not a man of ſenſe, i. 302. [ibid].
A man may be illiterate, yet not ignorant, ii. 209. [310].
The ſoliloquies and aſides in a play, are generally unnatural expedients of authors to make their per⯑formances intelligible to an audience, ii. 396. [iii. 140].
Learners ſhould not wiſh to be every thing at once, iii. 50. [210].
[308] See Vol. V. Letter lv. [Vol. VI. Letter lviii]. for the juſtice Sir Charles Grandiſon does to the cauſe of Languages, as well as Learning; from an appre⯑henſion that it ſuffered from the weakneſs of its ad⯑vocate in the debate between Mr. Walden and Miſs Byron, at Lady Betty Williams's, in Vol. I. p. 62. to 77.
See Education. Learned Women.
A LEARNED Woman, with her own ſex, is as an owl among the leſſer birds, i. 63. [ibid].
Men generally are afraid of a wife who has more underſtanding than themſelves, ibid.
Is it a neceſſary conſequence, that that knowlege which ſhall make a man ſhine, muſt make a woman vain and pragmatical? ibid.
May not a lettered wife, and a learned huſband be flint and ſteel to each other? ibid.
Many men, like the Turks, think that empire ſafeſt, which is founded in ignorance, ibid.
In what a ſituation are women, who, if they have ge⯑nius, will be thought guilty of affectation, whether they appear deſirous to conceal it, or ſubmit to have it called forth, i. 66. [ibid].
Women ſhould not be aſhamed either of their talents or acquirements, i. 77. [ibid].
They ſhould only take care, not to give up their do⯑meſtic uſefulneſs for Learning, ibid.
They will then, by reaſon of their acquirements, be more ſuitable companions for men of ſenſe and learn⯑ing, ibid.
The man muſt have a narrow mind who is apprehen⯑ſive of his prerogative from a Learned Woman, ibid.
A woman who does not behave the better the more ſhe knows, would make her huſband uneaſy, and think as well of herſelf, were ſhe totally illiterate, ibid.
Do not men court for wives whom they pleaſe? A conceited, a vain mind in a woman, cannot be hidden, ibid.
[309] Young women who are writers, ſhould not ſuffer their pen to run away with their needle, i. 140. [ibid].
Nor their love of reading to interfere with that houſe⯑wifery which is an indiſpenſible in the character of a good woman, ibid.
Tho' Learning ſhould not be the principal diſtinction of a woman, yet, where talents are given, they ſhould not be either uncultivated or unacknowleged, ibid.
When no duty is neglected for the acquirement; when modeſty, elegance, and a teachable ſpirit are preſerved, it is not a diſgrace to a woman to be ſuppoſed to know ſomething, i. 141. [ibid].
Why ſhould women, in compliance with the petulance of narrow-minded men, forbear to uſe a word which indicates knowlege, when no other ſingle word will ſo well expreſs their ſenſe? i. 245. [ibid].
Yet the confining themſelves to the uſually-known and familiar words in language, will always give them a ſimplicity and eaſe, that will make them ſhine in the true grace of expreſſion above men, eſpecially above the generality of ſcholaſtic men.
A young woman will rather chooſe to diſtinguiſh her⯑ſelf by her diſcretion and prudence, than by her wit and poetry, ii. 206. [307].
Yet the eaſy productions of a fine fancy, not made the buſineſs of life or its boaſt, confer no denomination that is diſgraceful; but very much the contrary, ibid.
LIBERTINE men conſider all intellectual attainments in women, as either uſeleſs or impertinent, i. 4. [ibid].
A wiſe, a learned woman, they look upon as an un⯑natural character, ibid.
They want women to be all love, and nothing elſe, ibid.
A man of free principles, ſhewn by practices as free, can hardly make a tender huſband, i. 26 [ibid].
Who ſhall truſt for the performance of his ſecond du⯑ties, the man who avowedly deſpiſes his firſt? ibid.
The profligate who had a good education, muſt have [310] taken pains to render vain the precepts of his inſtructors, and ſtill more to make a jeſt of them, i. 26. [ibid].
The man muſt have a very hard heart, as well as be a moſt abandoned man, who can paſs from woman to woman, without remorſe for a former, whom he has by ſolemn vows ſeduced, i. 27. [ibid].
Of what a dreadful abuſe of paſſions, given for the nobleſt purpoſes, are profligate men guilty! ibid.
Libertines have all one dialect. They ſay nothing new, or deſerving attention, i. 143. 320. [i. 143. ii. 5].
Libertines delight to ſport with the healths and hap⯑pineſs of credulous young creatures, whom they pretend to love, i. 223. [ibid].
A man who has inſulted a woman, muſt have a high opinion of himſelf, and a low one of her, if he thinks marriage will be an atonement, or do her honour, i. 311. [ibid].
Rakiſh men are generally ſuſpicious tyrants: They live in continual fear of retribution, ii. 12. [113].
Men of ſtrong health, and of a riotous turn, ſhould not, in mere compaſſion, aſſociate with men of weaker conſtitutions than their own, ii. 40. [141].
Neither ſhould extravagant men, of high and low for⯑tunes, aſſociate; ſince the expences which will but ſhake the eſtate of the one, will demoliſh that of the other, ii. 40, 41. [141, 142].
Rakiſh men ſeldom make good huſbands, good fa⯑thers, good brothers, ii. 74. [175].
Libertines are generally narrow-hearted creatures, who center all their delights in themſelves, ii. 74. 84. [175. 185].
The notion that a reformed Rake makes the beſt huſband, is equally vulgar and pernicious, and becomes only the mouth of an inconſiderate woman, ii. 75. [176].
Rakiſh men frequently endeavour to juſtify their vices by general reflexions on the ſex [which ſo often prefers them to better men] ii. 83. [184].
Such men think one half of a woman's virtue is pride; the other cunning, which they call the wiſdom of women, ibid.
[311] Were they ſure, ſays Sir Thomas Grandiſon, that the man would not think the worſe of them for their forward⯑neſs, they would not wait for a ſecond queſtion, ii. 83. [184].
Who ſhall anſwer for the durable reformation of an habitual Libertine? ii. 91. [192].
Mercy is a virtue: Can it be expected from the wick⯑ed? ii. 94. [195].
A ſeducing Rake has more ſouls to anſwer for than his own, ii. 95. [196].
It is an high degree of confidence in a man of free principles, to think of approaching a woman of piety and prudence with any hope of ſucceſs, ii. 142. [243].
Rakes often have contentions with themſelves, which they own to one another, whether they ſhall vouchſafe to offer themſelves in marriage to a lady, before they con⯑clude to do her that favour, ii. 142, 143. [243, 244].
Thoſe who pretend to know the ſex beſt, think them⯑ſelves intitled, among one another, to treat it with the leaſt reſpect, ii. 178. [279].
The moſt profligate men love modeſty in the ſex, at the very time they are forming plots to deſtroy it in in⯑dividuals of it, ii. 332. iii. 327. [iii. 76. iv. 113].
What abſurdities are free-living Men guilty of! What misfortunes to others do they not occaſion! iii. 261. [iv. 47].
What a poor, creeping, low thing is a Libertine, weighed in the ſcale againſt a man of true honour! iii. 301. [iv. 87].
Libertines think that women prefer a fervent Lover to a diſcreet one; and, preſuming upon their undiſtinguiſh⯑ing weakneſs, aim at deceiving them accordingly, v. 69. [vi. 47].
There are more clumſy and fooliſh Rakes, than po⯑lite ones, except women can be ſo much miſtaken as to aſcribe to impudence the name of agreeable freedom, v. 157. [vi. 135].
Bad habits, Lady G. ſays, are of the Jeruſalem-arti⯑choke kind, which once planted, there is no getting them out of the ground, v. 187. [vi. 165].
See Addreſs to Men of Senſe in the gay World. Ad⯑vice [312] and Cautions to Women. Compliments. De⯑licacy. Femalities. Love at firſt Sight. Clan⯑deſtine Marriages. Modeſty. Proteſtations. Single Women. Seduction.
LOVE dignifies the adored object in the eye of a lover, i. 5. [ibid].
True Love is always modeſt and diffident, i. 48. 103. [ibid].
Trifles are acceptable from thoſe we love, i. 61. [ibid].
Women ought not to be aſhamed of owning a ſuſcep⯑tibility of a natural paſſion, when duty and prudence are their guides, and the object worthy, i. 87. [ibid].
Women, when they begin to like, ſhould look into their hearts; ſince Love is not then far off, ibid.
Young women often given way to a paſſion, which they ſuppoſe unconquerable, becauſe they will not take pains to ſubdue it, ibid.
A prudent woman will ſhut the door of her heart againſt the blind deity, when ſhe finds he has ſet his incroaching foot on the threſhold, i. 88, 89. [ibid].
Such a one will endeavour to keep her heart her own, till duty adds force to the lambent flame, i. 89. [ibid].
Making Love, as it is called, is an ungenerous abuſe of the ears of a young woman; ſince a man can addreſs whom he pleaſes, and a woman muſt wait his motions; and ſince we are all ready to believe what we wiſh, i. 113. [ibid].
A man who truly loves, cannot, without pain, allow himſelf to teaze, by importunity, the object of his paſ⯑ſion, who favours him not, i. 122. [ibid].
One of the greateſt pains that a grateful heart can know, is to be obliged to deny a worthy man, who ten⯑derly loves her, i. 124. [ibid].
Reſpectful Love is not the indication either of a weak head, or a faint heart, i. 143. [ibid].
Violent Love is not likely to be laſting, i. 151. [ibid].
It is one of the ſweeteſt pleaſures imaginable, to hear a whole circle join in applauding the abſent perſon who ſtands high in our opinion, i. 410. [ii. 95].
Love is a ſelf-mortifier, i. 411. [ii. 96].
[313] Love is made a cover to baſeneſs of heart, when the pretender to it ſeeks to gratify his own paſſion, at the expence of the happineſs or duty of the object, ii. 60. [161].
In a pure flame Love and Friendſhip cannot be ſe⯑parated, ibid.
Love is a word, that is often made a cover to the vileſt cupidity, ii. 92. [193].
Love [however, dignified by romancers and poets] is a narrower of the heart; ſince, while its ſucceſs is in ſuſ⯑pence, it is the parent of envy, jealouſy, diſſimulation, ii. 141. 283. iii. 32. [ii. 242. iii. 27. 192].
That Love which is founded on fancy, or exterior ad⯑vantages, may, and oftentimes ought to, be overcome, ii. 144. [245].
But that which is founded on interior worth, generally acknowledged, cannot be eaſily reſtrained, damped, ſup⯑preſſed, ii. 144. v. 67. [ii. 245. vi. 45].
Women do not often with earneſtneſs reject a man, who is not quite diſagreeable, if they are not prejudiced in another's favour, ii. 160. [261].
It is no wonder that a man who is always worthily employ'd, is not in love; ſince Love is the child of lei⯑ſure and indolence, ii. 185, 186. iii. 218. [ii. 286, 287. iv. 4].
A woman who means not preferable favour to a man, will allow herſelf in ſaying civil and polite things to him, ii. 192. [293].
There are ſubjects that cannot be touched upon, with⯑out raiſing emotion in the boſom of a perſon who hopes, and is uncertain, ii. 193. [294].
Why ſhould women be aſhamed of owning a laudable paſſion? There is nothing ſhameful in diſcreet Love, ii. 239. iv. 66. [ii. 340. iv. 238].
Love is a ſelfiſh deity: He puts two perſons upon pre⯑ferring their own intereſt, nay, often a gratification of their paſſion againſt their intereſt, to thoſe of every-body elſe; and reaſon, diſcretion, duty, are frequently given up in a competition with it, ii. 240. [341].
But Love, nevertheleſs, will not do every thing for the ardent pair, ibid.
[314] Parents know this, and ought not to ſuffer for the raſhneſs they wiſh to prevent, but cannot, ii. 240. [341].
Is a father, who has, by his prudence, weathered ma⯑ny a ſtorm, and got ſafe into port, obliged to re-imbark in the voyage of life, with the young people, who per⯑haps, in a little while will look upon him as an incum⯑brance, and grudge him his cabin? ibid.
Parents ſhould be indulgent [to thoſe who are to ſuc⯑ceed them in carrying on the buſineſs of the world]: But children, when they put themſelves in one ſcale, ſhould allow parents their due weight in the other, ibid.
A worthy woman will baniſh that love from her heart, which would corrupt its ſimplicity, and make her guilty of artifice, ii. 258. [iii. 2, 3].
Womens eyes are wanderers, and too often bring home gueſts that are very troubleſome, and whom, once in⯑troduced, they cannot get out of the houſe, ii. 268. [iii. 12].
The voice, as well as the heart, is ſweetened, mel⯑lowed, harmonized by Love, ii. 306. iii. 350. 378. [iii. 50. iv. 136. 164].
It is a hard matter for women, in Love-caſes, to avoid affectation, ii. 391. [iii. 135].
A lady, in ſuſpending unneceſſarily the happineſs of the man to whom ſhe has no objection, and whom ſhe reſolves to marry, ſeems to confeſs ſelf-denial, ii. 392. [iii. 136].
Eſteem is the female word for Love, ii. 403. [iii. 147].
The woman who has been diſappointed in Love, will be able to play with another flame without burning her fingers, iii. 4. [163, 164].
A prudent man or woman will never leave MIND out of his or her notion of Love, iii. 12. [171].
Women often take pains to cheat themſelves into a belief that they are not in Love; but detect themſelves by the very pains they take to obviate ſuch a charge, iii. 14. [173].
Of what abſurd things does the paſſion called Love, makes its votaries guilty! iii. 37. [197].
The woman who circumſcribes her paſſion by the laws [315] of reaſon and duty, will never ſubject herſelf to laſting diſturbance from her recollections, iii. 37. [197].
The tenderneſs, and even veneration which a worthy man ſhews to a deſervedly-beloved object, is not a dero⯑gation from his character, iii. 52. [212].
Love, like water, will work its way thro' the banks that are ſet up to confine it, if not watched, and dammed out in time, iii. 93. [253].
The poiſon of Love once taken in at the eye, will ſoon diffuſe itſelf thro' the maſs, iii. 125. [285].
Seldom, as the women ſuppoſe, is there that fervor in a ſecond love, as in a firſt, iii. 153. [313].
Women, in Love-caſes, ſee into each other's hearts from ſmall openings, iii. 257. [iv. 43].
A young woman, challenged with loving a man who has made no declaration, if the challenge be juſt, need not to labour under a greater difficulty, ibid.
Reverence will not eaſily allow of the innocent fa⯑miliarity that is requiſite in love, iii. 260. [iv. 46].
What a remembrancer is the heart in a Love-caſe! Not a circumſtance eſcapes it, iii. 260. [iv. 60].
If a woman loves a man for his merit only, may ſhe not love merits equally great in another, and even in one of her own ſex? iii. 275. [iv. 61].
True Love makes every taſk eaſy, every burthen light, iii. 332. [iv. 118].
Young people often, in compliment to their own un⯑derſtandings, perſevere in a firſt flame, which ought to be diſcouraged, ibid.
Love gilds every object that bears a relation to the object beloved, iv. 27. [199].
There is, ſays Lady G. a great deal of free-maſonry in Love: The ſecret, like that, when found out, is hardly worth the knowing [The Paphian Love ſhe muſt mean] iv. 84. [256].
Love, however, at beſt, is a flame founded on a but ſuppoſed merit. The proof may be wanting in matri⯑mony, iv. 203. [v. 74].
What is that Love which we women, ſays Lady G. vow at the altar? Surely not adoration, iv. 246. [v. 117].
[316] Not a preference of that object abſolutely, as in ex⯑cellence ſuperior to every imaginable being, iv. 246. [v. 117].
No more, ſurely, in moſt caſes, than ſuch a pre⯑ferable choice (all circumſtances conſidered) as ſhall make a woman with ſatisfaction of mind, and with an affection⯑ate and faithful heart, unite herſelf for life with a man ſhe eſteems, ibid.
Who ſhe thinks is no diſagreeable companion; but deſerves her grateful regard, ibid.
That his intereſt, from thenceforth, ſhould be her own; and his happineſs her ſtudy, ibid.
And is not this very conſiſtent with ſeeing and pitying, in this partner of her life, ſuch imperfections as make him evidently the inferior of angels? ibid.
Diſappoinment in Love may operate in different minds different ways, iv. 258. [v. 129].
Young women often go on courageouſly with a Lover, while the end in view is diſtant, or there have been dif⯑ficulties to encounter with, iv. 261. [v. 132].
But when thoſe difficulties are overcome, and they have climbed the hill they toiled up, they often look about them with fear as ſtrong as their hope, ibid.
The controul of thoſe we truly love, is freedom, iv. 395. [v. 266].
How ſweet is the affiance which a woman has in the declaration of a man of principle, whom ſhe loves! v. 51. [vi. 29].
Love-matches, Lady G. ſays, are generally fooliſh things, v. 65. [vi. 43].
Violent Love on one ſide, is enough in conſcience, if the other party be not a fool, or ingrateful, ibid.
The wall-climbers, the hedge and ditch-leapers, the river-forders, the window-droppers, always find reaſon to think it ſo, ibid.
Who ever, proceeds ſhe, hears of darts, flames, cupids, venus's, and ſuch ſort of nonſenſe, in matrimony? ibid.
Paſſion is tranſitory; but diſcretion, that never boils over, gives durable happineſs, ibid.
Love, merely perſonal, that ſort which commences [317] between the age of fifteen and twenty, and where there is no extraordinary merit in the object, may, and gene⯑rally ought to be ſubdued, v. 67. [vi. 45].
What tumults, what a contrariety of paſſions break the tranquility of the woman who yields up her heart to Love! [The more, as cuſtom has made the man en⯑tire maſter of the queſtion, and the woman can but follow as he thi [...] fit to lead] v. 88. [vi. 66].
A man of ſenſe, in Love, will preſerve his dignity; yet, for his own ſake, will give conſequence to the lady whom he one day hopes to call his wife, v. 133. [vi. 111].
Love will plead for its votary in a ſingle breaſt, when conſultation on the ſuppoſed fit and unfit (the object ab⯑ſent) will produce delay, v. 168. [vi. 146].
A little cold water will quench a beginning flame in a young perſon; or, if it do not, its blaze may be di⯑rected by prudent management to another and more pro⯑per object, v. 184. [vi. 162].
Love on one ſide, diſcretion on the other, is much better than love on both; ſince in the latter caſe, if the Love be of the uſual giddy ſort, there can be no room at all for diſcretion, v. 186. [vi. 164].
Love ever makes a woman think meanly of herſelf, in proportion as ſhe thinks highly of the object, v. 196. [vi. 174].
It is a circumſtance to be wiſhed for, in a Love-affair, that the affection of the man ſhould be firſt engaged, vi. 38. [vii. 38].
A man of honour, who is not diſengaged himſelf, will be very careful of engaging the affections of a young woman, vi. 39. [vii. 39].
What a ſad gradation is there in that Love, which, tho' begun in hopeleſneſs of ſucceeding, riſes by ſelf⯑flattery, to a poſſibility, then to probability, and to hope; and, ſinking again to hopeleſneſs, ends in de⯑ſpair, vi. 137. [vii. 137].
Reaſon and duty will give a preference in the affection of a prudent woman, to the man, who is moſt ſuitable to her, vi. 202. [vii. 202].
[318] Eſteem, heightened by gratitude, and enforced by duty, will ſoon ripen into Love, vi. 204. [vii. 204].
A tender, a faithful affection, is the only ſort of Love that ſuits this imperfect ſtate, ibid.
There is a ſuperior ardor that is due only to ſupreme perfection, vi. 205. [vii. 205].
Love, authorized by reaſonable proſpects, and guided and heightened by duty, is every-thing excellent that poets have ſaid of it, vi. 208. [vii. 208].
Yet, even this Love muſt ſubmit to the awful diſpen⯑ſations of Providence, whether of death or other diſap⯑pointment, ibid.
Such trials ought to be met with chearful reſignation, and not to be the means of embittering our lives, or of rendering them uſeleſs, ibid.
Love is a paſſion that is oftener the cauſe of mean⯑neſs, than of laudable greatneſs, vi. 251. [vii. 251].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Compliments. Daughters. Delicacy. Example. Fancy. Fe⯑malities. Female Dignity Frankneſs of Heart. Generoſity. Girls. Good Man. Good Wife. Huſband and Wife. Libertines. Lover. Love at firſt Sight. Firſt Love. Diſmiſſion of a Lover. Marriages. Clandeſtine Marriages. Modeſty. Parents and Children. Perſuaſion. Prudence. Proteſtations. Politeneſs. Signs of Love. Single Women. Seduction. Vincibility of Love.
NONE but the giddy Love at firſt Sight, i. 45. 106. [ibid].
Love, proſtituted name! is often made a cover for all acts of violence, indiſcretion, folly, i. 382. [ii. 67].
Poor paſſion would be aſhamed to ſee the ſun, were diſcretion only to be attended to by lovers, ii. 53. [154].
Conſtancy, in the language of lovers, too often means only the ſacrifice of filial duty to the addreſſes of a man of inferior merit; and who aims to eſtabliſh himſelf on a young woman's credulity, ii. 71. [172].
Love at firſt Sight muſt indicate a mind prepared for impreſſion, iii. 358. [iv. 144].
[319] It is generally a ſudden guſt of paſſion, and that of the ignobleſt kind; ſince it affords not an opportunity of knowing the merit of the object, ibid.
What modeſt woman would have herſelf ſuppoſed capable of ſuch a tindery fit? iii. 358. [iv. 144].
In a man, it is an indelicate paroxyſm: But in a woman who expects protection and inſtruction from a huſband, much more ſo, ibid.
Love at firſt, may be only fancy: Such a young Love may be eaſily given up, and ought, to a parent's judgment, ibid.
The woman who falls in Love at firſt Sight, were the man to be a Solomon, cannot have his merit or mind for her inducement, iv. 252. [v. 123].
Bars, bolts, walls, rivers, ſeas, will no more hold the ſupercilious than the leſs reſerved, when ſtung with the paſſion miſcalled Love, iv. 391. [v. 262].
Love, as it is called by boys and girls, ſays Lady G. ſhall ever be the ſubject of my ridicule. Does it not lead us girls into all manner of inconveniencies, un⯑dutifulneſſes, diſgraces, abſurdities?—Villainous Cupi⯑dity! it does, v. 118. [vi. 96].
The parturient circumſtances are humbling and awful ones, ſays Lady G. and yet, with ſuch proſpects, do ſome girls leap rivers, climb walls, &c. v. 311. [vi. 289].
What, ſays Lady G. is the ſtuff, the nonſenſe, that ro⯑mantic girls prate about, and din our ears with, of firſt Love, firſt Flame, but firſt Folly? v. 354. [vi. 332].
Do not moſt of ſuch give indication of gunpowder conſtitutions, which want but the match to be applied, to ſet them in a blaze? ibid.
Souls of tinder; diſcretions of flimſy gauze, which conceal not their folly, ibid.
One day, adds this Lady, [who intends, by the free⯑doms ſhe takes with her ſex, both inſtruction and warn⯑ing, and to inſpire in them a generous ſhame] they will think as I do; and perhaps before they have daughters, who will convince them of the truth of my aſſertions, ibid.
Abhorred be that Love, ſays Sir Charles Grandiſon, which is pleaded in excuſe for any extravagant, unduti⯑ful, or unnatural conduct, or action, vi. 252. [vii. 252].
[320] What is the inclemency of ſeaſon; what are winds, mountains, ſeas, to a woman who has ſet her heart on an adventure? vi. 276. [vii. 276].
See Daughters. Delicacy. Fancy. Femalities. Girls. Libertines. Love. Clandeſtine Marriages. Modeſty. Parents and Children. Proteſtations. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
FIRST Love is generally firſt folly, ii. 57. [158].
Wife and experienced people will not allow of that ſacredneſs which young people are apt to imagine in a Firſt Love, iv. 245. [v. 116].
The woman narrows her own uſe and conſequence, who reſolves, if ſhe have not her Firſt Love, never to marry? vi. 214. [vii. 214].
Few women have their Firſt Loves, vi. 213. [vii. 213].
Few Firſt Loves are fit to be encouraged, ibid.
For example. A young woman may fix her affections on a man who may prove perfidious, vi. 214. [vii. 214].
On a man who may be engaged to another woman, ibid.
On a married man, not knowing him, in her haſty fit, to be ſo; or, if Love be an irreſiſtible paſſion, know⯑ing him to have a wife.
On a man who may be ſuperior to her in degree or fortune, of whom ſhe can have no hope, ibid.
Or on one who may be greatly inferior to her in both; an hoſtler, a groom, a coachman, a footman; a grena⯑dier, a trooper, a foot-ſoldier, ibid.
Her Lover may be taken from her by death, ibid.
Do we find many of theſe conſtant nymphs, aſks Lady G. when they have had their fooliſh way given them, as to a firſt flame, and they have happened to bury the man of whom they were ſo dotingly fond, refuſe to mar⯑ry again? ibid.
No, ſays ſhe; They have had their whimſy out: Their fit of conſtancy is over; and they go on without ranti⯑poling, in the ordinary courſe of reaſonable creatures, ibid.
[321] See Daughters. Delicacy. Fancy. Femalities. Girls. Lover. Modeſty. Parents and Children. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
LADIES, in a competition, ſeldom prefer a whining to a bolder Lover, i. 6. [ibid].
The boiſtrous or threatning Lover will make a tyrant huſband, i. 12. [ibid].
Women are very quick in diſcovering the beginning regards of a Lover, i. 37. [ibid].
Thoſe Lovers who pay their court rather by external appearance, than by interior worth, ought not to be en⯑couraged, i. 253. [ibid].
Self-love and pride are of uſe to a Lover, to enable him to get over the ſlights of a beloved object, i. 276. [ibid].
An handſome man need not to have great qualities to engage the hearts of the generality of women, i. 300. [ibid].
A good man, who is handſome, and is a man of vi⯑vacity, may chooſe where he pleaſes, ibid.
If women love handſome men for the ſake of their eye, they muſt be contemptible creatures if they love not good men for the ſake of their hearts, ibid.
A hopeleſs Lover, if prudent, will endeavour to leſ⯑ſen his torment, by flying from the temptation, ii. 4. [105].
A generous Lover will bind himſelf, but leave the ob⯑ject free, ii. 61. [162].
Such a one will not put a young woman upon doing a wrong thing, whether it reſpect her filial duty or her intereſt, ibid.
A man of honour, if he find ſuſpenſe painful to the object of his Love, will, by an explicit declaration, put himſelf into the power of her, whoſe honour and deli⯑cacy ought to be dearer to him than his own, ii. 203. [304].
Where delicacy is concerned, the hearts of Lovers, ſhould be the whole world to each other, ii. 209. [310].
A man of ſpirit will diſdain to think of any woman [322] for a wife, who balances in her choice of him, or an⯑other man, ii. 211. [312].
Womens objections to a Lover are ſometimes ſo ſlight, as make it evident they wiſh to have them obviated, ii. 218. [319].
The Lover may ſhine out in an addreſs to a beloved object, yet the man may not be forgotten, iii. 52. [212].
Lovers, in ſome caſes, are the weakeſt people in the world, iii. 75. [235].
It is difficult for a Lover, talking to a ſecond perſon, to be ſincere, iii. 86. [246].
In Lovers abſences, the face of the meaneſt ſervant of the beloved object gives joy to the other, iii. 114. [274].
The ſelf-conſequence of a Lover is either heightened or lowered, as he is, or is not, encouraged, iii. 156. [316].
Modeſty in a Lover enables a baſhful woman to be⯑have before him with eaſe, and (as may be ſaid) with ſecurity, in the conſciouſneſs of a right intention, iii. 328. [iv. 114].
The man whom a lady may ſafely encourage with a view to happineſs, is he who is diſtinguiſhed by the gen⯑tleneſs of his manners, by the evenneſs of his temper; by his general deſire to oblige; iv. 42. [214].
Lovers labouring under difficulties will look back to the beginning fervors of the paſſion (when not any of thoſe difficulties were foreſeen) as the happieſt days of their lives, iv. 311. [v. 182].
Thus Lady Clementina often recollects with delight, the happy time when ſhe was learning of her Mr. Gran⯑diſon the Engliſh tongue.
In a great diſappointment, a Lover is diſſatisfied with himſelf, perhaps he knows not why; wants ſomebody to accuſe, but hardly can blame, even if faulty, the be⯑loved object, iv. 312. [v. 183].
How few women are there, who, for one reaſon or other, have the man of their choice? It is well there⯑fore, that the paſſion of Love is vincible, v. 67. [vi. 45].
A lady will often defend an arraigned Lover in his abſence, for faults which ſhe in her heart condemns him for, v. 91. [vi. 69].
[323] Such a one, if beloved, ſhould, for his own ſake, be moderate in his requeſts, in order to leave to her the merit and pleaſure of obliging him beyond his expecta⯑tion, v. 279. [vi. 257].
Where a Lover has had former engagements, tho' they took not place, a ſecond miſtreſs will, on the leaſt occaſion, apprehend a ſlight, tho' none may be intended, v. 201. [vi. 179].
A woman ought not to be ſhy of giving conſequence to a man, who, through delicacy, aſſumes not any, from her ſilent tenderneſs for him, v. 243. [vi. 221].
A fervent Lover will have the whole heart of the be⯑loved object, in the grant of every requeſt he makes to her, or will chearfully give up his will to her, v. 278. [vi. 256].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Compliments. Delicacy. Fancy. Female Dignity. Libertines. Love. Clandeſtine Marriages. Modeſty. Pa⯑rents and Children. Prudence. Vincibility of Love.
HOW excellent, in a Love caſe, muſt the repulſer be, how generous the repulſed, when the latter can find no fault in the former, to comfort himſelf with, on his diſ⯑miſſion! i. 108. 124. [ibid].
The man who addreſſes a woman for her conſent, has no right to be diſpleaſed with her for refuſing him. Is ſhe not miſtreſs of the queſtion? i. 131. 157. [ibid].
A young woman's refuſal of a propoſal of marriage, that is apparently unexceptionable, is a ſtrong ſign of prepoſſeſſion, ii. 14. iii. 51. [ii. 115. iii. 211].
Courteouſneſs mingled with dignity, obtains reſpect, even for the refuſer of a requeſt, ii. 17. [118].
Many perſons have found an ardor when repulſed, which they would never have known had they ſuc⯑ceeded, ii. 386. [iii. 130].
A generous man will rather wiſh to receive a repulſe, where a lady's honour and delicacy is concerned, than to be obliged to give it, iii. 93. 97. [253. 257].
[324] Delicate minds have many ways by which to expreſs denial, iv. 363. [v. 234].
A lady who always avowed her love, who had no uncertainty to contend with, yet, ſpontaneouſly thinking it proper to change her mind, is likely to adhere to her reſolution, v. 7. [278].
Perſeverance in a rejected Lover, after the lady has run thro' her circle of humble ſervants, and found her⯑ſelf diſappointed in her own views, has often been crowned with ſucceſs, vi. 119. [vii. 119].
See Love. Lover.
MEN of true courage do not threaten, i. 289. [ibid].
Honeſt policy, as well as true greatneſs of mind, re⯑commends that noble doctrine of returning good for evil, ii. 57. [158].
Greatneſs of ſoul, and goodneſs, are inſeparable, ii. 126. [225].
A brave and good man will declare his mind to a prince, were he called upon to do it, and if he were likely to do good by his honeſt freedom, ii. 319. [iii. 63].
What greater Magnanimity can be ſhewn by mortal, than by a woman of ſenſe, who having been prevailed upon to marry, to her diſlike, a man who proves to be of ſordid manners, and a tyrant, and deeply ſenſible of her unhappineſs; yet irreproachably and meekly bears her part of the yoke laid upon her? ii. 321. [iii. 65].
A good man will not palliate the faults of a fallen perſon; yet he will not ſuffer his zeal for virtue to cauſe him to inſult an object in diſtreſs, ii. 327. [iii. 71].
What a noble mind is his, who having been rendered unhappy in his own affairs, can give himſelf joy in pro⯑moting the felicity of others! iii. 8. [168].
A great heart undervalued, will ſwell. It will be put perhaps upon over-valuing itſelf, iii. 163. [323].
Inſolence from a great man, a rich man, or a ſoldier, is a call upon a man of Spirit to aſſert himſelf, iii. 173. [333].
[325] The greateſt triumph a man can obtain, is to ſubdue his own paſſions, iii. 181. [341].
Silence on the contempt of an inſolent perſon, may, in ſome caſes, be thought ſubſcribing to the juſtice of that contempt, ibid.
A man of Spirit cannot be offended at a man exert⯑ing Spirit on proper occaſion, without leſſening himſelf, iii. 183. [343].
It is difficult, but very laudable, for ſufferers to act with Spirit and Temper at the ſame time, ibid.
Diſappointment in Love is one of thoſe caſes in which a woman can ſhew fortitude, iii. 215. [iv. 1].
A man cannot complain, cannot aſk for compaſſion, as a woman can, iii. 383. [iv. 169].
Women, for the honour of their ſex, in which their own is included, ſhould not rally and ridicule a woman in love, iv. 57. [iv. 229].
A man of true Spirit will not be ſolicitous to enter into a family that thinks meanly of him; nor will he ſeek to ſubject the woman he loves to the contempt of her own relations, iv. 129. 327. [iv. 301. v. 198].
A weak man made a tyrant, is an inſupportable crea⯑ture, iv. 205. [v. 76].
Women love not to be ſuſpected. Oppoſition ariſes from ſuſpicion and contradiction, iv. 272. [v. 143].
A good man may bend beneath a heavy weight, when it is firſt laid upon him; but if he cannot relieve himſelf from it, or finds he ought to bear it, he will endeavour to collect his whole ſtrength, and make him⯑ſelf eaſy under it, iv. 321. [v. 192].
A noble heart, however diſappointed, will not ſtoop to artifice and contrivance, in order to engage pity, iv. 323. [v. 194].
The noble heart, on a diſappointment, not given up to unmanly deſpair, will lay hold of the next good to that it has loſt, iv. 338. [v. 209].
Great minds are above being governed by punctilious forms, where decorum is not neglected, v. 104. [vi. 82].
See Beneficence. Example. Good Man. Good Wife, or Woman. Modeſty.
MAN of HONOUR. See Good Man.
FAMILIES are little communities. There are but few ſolid friendſhips out of them. They make up wor⯑thily, and help to ſecure, the great community of which they are ſo many miniatures, i. 28. [ibid].
A religious education is the beſt ſecurity for the per⯑formance of the matrimonial duties, i. 36. [ibid].
Weak men of high fortunes, ſhould not marry either for beauty or wit; but ſeek for a woman of humble views, who would think herſelf repaid, by his fortune, the obligation ſhe would lay him under by her accept⯑ance of him, i. 53. [ibid].
The woman who marries a man to get rid of his im⯑portunity, falls upon an odd, but perhaps ſure, expedient, i. 83. [ibid].
Young people of ſmall or no fortunes, ſhould not be diſcouraged from marrying, i. 133. [ibid].
Marriage is the higheſt ſtate of Friendſhip that mortals can know, i. 259. [ibid].
Equality of fortune and degree, tho' not abſolutely neceſſary to matrimonial felicity, is, however, a cir⯑cumſtance not to be ſlighted, i. 309. [ibid].
The kind, but not oſtentatious regard which a man and wife pay to each other, are equally creditable to themſelves, and to the married ſtate, i. 328. [ii. 13].
Marriage is a duty, whenever it can be entered into with prudence, ii. 19. vi. 223. [ii. 120. vii. 223].
It is a ſtate that binds a man and woman together by intereſt, as well as affection, ii. 324. [iii. 68].
Infirmity requires indulgence: In the very nature of the word and thing, indulgence cannot exiſt with ſervility. Between equals, as man and wife, either of them ill, it may, ii. 339. [iii. 83].
Who can enough value the joy, the tranquillity of mind, that reſults from mutual confidence? ii. 340. [iii. 84].
Womens ſphere is the houſe, and their ſhining-place the ſick chamber, in which they can exert all their amiable, their lenient qualities, ibid.
[327] A man gives conſequence to the woman he marries, and finds his own increaſed in the reſpect paid to her, ii. 340. [iii. 84].
They are not the ſtriking, dazling qualities in men and women, that make happy in Marriage, ii. 399. [ii. 143].
Good ſenſe, ſolid judgment, a natural complacency of temper, a deſire of obliging, and an eaſineſs to be obliged, procure the ſilent and ſerene happineſs in wedlock, to which the tumultuous fervors of paſſion contribute not, ibid.
Men and women, admired by every one, and admire⯑ing each other, before Marriage, tho' neither of them unworthy, may not be happy in it, ii. 400. [iii. 144].
Some ladies, to be honeſt to their matrimonial engage⯑ments, ſhould condition with their men, to exchange vows with them at the altar, ii. 403. [iii. 147].
The married man, who is known to love his quiet, will often find it difficult to be the maſter of his family, ii. 404. [iii. 148].
Conſideration is not always a friend to wedlock, iii. 334. [iv. 90].
Thoſe who marry for convenience, and deal honeſtly with each other, are moſt likely to be happy in Mar⯑riage, iii. 323. [iv. 109].
The woman who marries the man to whom ſhe is in⯑different, if ſhe prefer no other to him, may be upon a par with eight women out of twelve who marry, yet make not bad wives, iii. 343. [iv. 129].
In the wedded life, more obedience is ſometimes practiſed by the party who vow'd it not, than by the party who did, iii. 344. [iv. 130].
Convenience, when it is made a motive to Marriage, will hold out its comforts, when a gratified love is eva⯑porated, iv. 95. [267].
The happineſs of a married pair will not be proved under a year, two, or three; ſince Love, which may be the inducement to the parties to enter into the ſtate, does not always ripen into Friendſhip; to do which, the merits of each muſt appear on full proof to the other, iv. 203. [v. 74].
[328] A woman who has not prudence, ſhould not marry a man of leſs underſtanding than herſelf, iv. 255. [v. 126].
A ſoft man and a ſaucy woman, Lady G. ſays, are beſt matched for happineſs, v. 4, 5. [275, 276].
The man, ſhe whimſically adds, ought to be meek and humble, who will not let the woman be quiet till ſhe be his [yet knows her indifference to him] v. 5. [276].
Great inconveniencies muſt generally attend a mar⯑riage between perſons of different perſuaſions, one of them zealous, the other not indifferent, iv. 304. [v. 175].
A lady politely treated, and politely returning the treatment, in courtſhip, will not, when love is heightened by duty, and the obligation is doubled, be leſs deſerving than before, of the polite affection of the huſband, v. 286. [vi. 264].
The daughterly, the ſiſterly, duties of a young woman are ſtrengthened, not weakened, by Marriage, v. 371. [vi. 349].
Happy are thoſe Marriages, which give as much joy to the relations on both ſides, as to the parties themſelves, vi. 127. [vii. 127].
Early Marriages, as well for the ſake of the parties, as for that of poſterity, are by no means to be encouraged, ibid.
Young people, moreover, ſhould be allowed time to look about them, that they may not repent of the choice made for them, ibid.
Marriage is a ſtate that is attended with ſo much care and trouble, that it is a kind of faulty indulgence and ſelfiſhneſs to live ſingle, in order to avoid the difficulties it is attended with, ibid.
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Good Wife. Huſband and Wife. Love. Marriage. Matri⯑monial Bickerings. Parents and Children. Pru⯑dence. Single Women. Widows.
MEN in years, and labouring under infirmities, are far more excuſable for marrying a young woman, than a woman in years is for marrying a young man, ii. 340. [iii. 84].
The difference ariſes from the tenderneſs and help⯑fulneſs of women in their attendance on a ſick or infirm huſband: While male-nurſes are unnatural characters, ibid.
The man in years, who has no children to repine at a mother-in-law, and to vex him by little jealouſies ariſing from a contrariety of intereſts and views; who is weakly, and often indiſpoſed; may marry without impeachment of his prudence, ibid.
Nor would his relations be worthy of his kindneſs, who, for ſelfiſh views, would wiſh to continue him in mean hands, rob him of the joys of confidence, and the comfort of tender help from an equal, or one deſerving to be made ſo, ibid.
Such a man has only to take care ſo to marry, as not to defeat his own end; not with a gay woman who will be fluttering about in public, while he is g4oaning in his chamber, and wiſhing for her preſence, ibid.
If he be a man of family and fortune; he ſhould not aim at a fortune with her: She ſhould be a gentlewoman by birth and education: Of a ſerious [but not melan⯑choly] temper: Not a girl as to years; yet, if he has no children, not paſt the probability of bringing him an heir [which would add to their mutual good underſtand⯑ing] ii. 341. [iii. 85].
She ought to be one who has been acquainted with affliction. Muſt conſider her Marriage with him, as an act both of condeſcenſion in herſelf, and preferment, ii. 387. [iii. 131].
Her tenderneſs will, by this means, be engaged, and her dignity ſupported, ibid.
[330] A woman for her morality's ſake, ought not to marry a man in years in hopes of his death, iii. 230. [iv. 16].
If a woman has but the ſhadow of a doubt, whether ſhe can behave in Marriage with condeſcenſion and in⯑dulgence to a man of unequal years, ſhe ought not to be tempted, by the moſt advantageous propoſals, to ac⯑cept of him, ibid.
A WOMAN who marries beneath herſelf, muſt expect to be rejected, ſcorned for one while, if not for ever, by her natural friends, ii. 168. [269].
What right has a daughter to give to her father and mother a ſon, to her brothers and ſiſters a brother, to whom they are averſe? ibid.
Have not they at leaſt as good a right to reject him for their relation, as ſhe had to chooſe him for her huſband? ibid.
The woman who marries a man of mean underſtanding, as well as of mean birth and fortune, muſt bluſh at every civility paid him in her own family, ii. 184. [285].
While he, perhaps, will have the higher opinion of himſelf, for their very civilities, and for having ſucceeded with her, ibid.
Inferior men, and Fortune-hunters, now find an eaſy introduction to women of fortune, at public places, ii. 268. [iii. 12].
A woman of the greateſt fortune is but a woman, and is to be attacked and prevailed upon by the ſame methods, which ſucceed with one of the ſlendereſt, ii. 268. [iii. 12, 13].
And perhaps is won with equal, if not with greater eaſe; ſince, if ſhe have a romantic turn, and the man a great deal of art and flattery, ſhe will miſcall that turn generoſity; and, ſuppoſing ſhe can lay a lover under obli⯑gation, will meet him her full half way, ii. 268, 269. [iii. 13].
How neceſſary is it then, for parents or guardians, to have a watchful eye over their wards and daughters [331] of rank and fortune; the rather, as Fortune-hunters are generally the moſt unworthy of men.
In the addreſs of a man of ſmall fortune, to a woman of great, his love may well be ſuſpected, ii. 269. [iii. 13].
See Advice to Women. Daughters. Fancy. Female Dignity. Femalities. Girls. Libertines. Love at firſt Sight. Firſt Love. Modeſty. Parents and Children. Prudence. Proteſtations. Single Women. Vincibility of Love.
MARRIAGE Settlements ought not to be made ſo large, as to make a wife independent of her huſband, and to put it out of his power, with diſcretion, to engage her gratitude by his generoſity, iv. 194. [v. 65].
The hearts of young women are apt, unjuſtly, to riſe againſt the notions of bargain and ſale, as ſome phraſe it, in a Matrimonial Treaty, v. 62. [vi. 40].
The reproach of Smithfield bargains, in a Marriage contract, is an odium caſt upon prudence, principally by thoſe, who wiſh a young woman to encourage a clan⯑deſtine and unequal addreſs, ibid.
But ſhould not the flagrant ſelfiſhneſs of ſuch be pe⯑netrated; ſince they can mean nothing but their own intereſt, at the very time they would have a young woman pay no regard to hers?
Previous ſtipulations are ſurely indiſpenſible proviſions among us changeable mortals, however promiſing the ſunſhine may be at ſetting out, v. 62. [vi. 40].
A man, whoſe propoſals of Marriage are unexception⯑able, ſhould be ſpared the indelicacy of aſking queſtions as to fortune, v. 71. [vi. 49].
Generoſity requires not, of even a generous man, that in a Treaty of Marriage, ſince the intereſt of himſelf and his wife will be one, that he ſhould make a compli⯑ment to his affection, by giving up her natural right; eſpecially if there be no one of her family in low circum⯑ſtances, v. 73, 74. [vi. 51, 52].
A prudent lover will not be either romantic or oſten⯑tatious. [332] He will be as glad to follow, as to ſet, a good example, v. 74, 75. [vi. 52, 53].
If the lady's fortune be an aſcertained one, and he in eaſy circumſtances, he will not accept of contributions from ſuch of her friends, as are not the neareſt to her in relation, and who have others who ſtand in an equal degree of proximity to them, to make it up, ibid.
THERE never was a Treaty of Marriage ſet on foot, that carried not its conveniencies and inconveniencies, in the face of it, iii. 229. [iv. 15].
A polite and good man will not make a propoſal to a lady in behalf of a friend, which, for the ſake of her ſex, has not her honour and dignity for its firſt object, ibid.
A perſon who has a right to chooſe, ought not to in⯑cur diſpleaſure for making uſe of it, ibid.
Explicitneſs in every caſe becomes the propoſer, iii. 230. [iv. 16].
A man of ſtrict honour, propoſing an advantageous alliance, will not ſeek ſtrongly to attach the friends of the young lady in favour of his propoſal, till he know her mind, leſt he impoſe a difficulty upon her, that nei⯑ther for her own ſake, or the man's, ought to be laid, ibid.
A declared, and not unreaſonable averſion, ſhould not be attempted to be overcome, iii. 231. [iv. 17].
A generous propoſer will, in caſe of a reaſonable op⯑poſition to his propoſal, be an advocate for the perſon refuſing, rather than the perſuader, ibid
It is an indelicacy haſtily to urge a modeſt woman for an affirmative to a propoſal of Marriage, when ſhe has received it without giving a negative, ibid.
A lady's conſent is enough implied in an early pro⯑poſal, if ſhe declare herſelf diſengaged, and refer her⯑ſelf to her friends, ibid.
MASTERS and Miſtreſſes are anſwerable for the cha⯑racter, and even for the behaviour, of their domeſtics, i. 23. [ibid].
[333] Wages to a good Servant are not to be ſtood upon, i. 134. [ibid].
An honeſt Servant ſhould be enabled to lay up for age and infirmity, ibid.
What has not a Maſter to anſwer for, who puts a ſervant on a wicked action? i. 238. [ibid].
By the behaviour of Maſters and Servants to each other, the good and bad qualities of each may be judged of, i. 321, 322. ii. 302, 303. [ii. 6, 7. iii. 46, 47. 49].
Servants are as ſenſible as Maſters and Miſtreſſes. They ſpeak to their feelings, ii. 302. [iii. 46].
Servants, when they find themſelves of uſe, will not be always Servants, ii. 339. [iii. 83].
A man of honour will not accept of intelligence from another perſon's Servants, tho' to ſerve himſelf, iii. 157. [317].
A man, to have good Servants, will treat them as ne⯑ceſſary parts of his family, iii. 352. [iv. 138].
He will not entruſt ſecrets to them, the keeping or diſcloſing of which, might make them of importance to him:
He will give them no bad example:
He will not be angry with them but for wilful faults:
If thoſe are not habitual, he will ſhame them into amendment, by gentle expoſtulation and forgiveneſs:
If they are not capable of generous ſhame, and the fault be repeated, he will part with them; but with ſuch kindneſs, as will cauſe their fellow-ſervants to blame them, and take warning:
He will be fond of occaſions to praiſe them:
Even when they miſtake, if it be with a good inten⯑tion, they will have his approbation of that, and endea⯑vours to ſet them right as to the act:
He will make ſobriety an indiſpenſable qualification for his ſervice:
He will inſiſt upon his Servants being kind and com⯑paſſionate to one another:
And, as a compaſſionate heart cannot be habitually an unjuſt one, he will by this means make their good-na⯑ture contribute as well to his ſecurity as quiet.
[334] Generally ſpeaking, a Maſter may make a Servant what he pleaſes, iii. 352. [iv. 138].
Servants judge by example, rather than by precept; and almoſt always by their feelings, ibid.
The moſt inſupportable of all dominion, is that of Servants, iv. 223. [v. 94].
A truly religious Servant, of whatever perſuaſion, cannot be a bad one, iv. 224. [v. 95].
A good Maſter, if his Servants live but up to their own profeſſions, will indulge them in all reaſonable op⯑portunities of purſuing the dictates of their own con⯑ſciences, ibid.
The worthineſs of a man will be frequently known by his kindneſs to his domeſtics, and by their general good behaviour and civility, v. 81. [vi. 59].
Maſters find it their intereſt, as well as duty, to pro⯑mote family devotion among their Servants, vi. 32. [vii. 32].
See Example. Generoſity. Good Man. Magna⯑nimity.
FEW women, in a Matrimonial Debate, have reaſon to lay all the fault at the huſband's door, iii. 242. [iv. 28].
What fooliſh things are the quarrels of married peo⯑ple! Since they muſt come to an agreement again; and the ſooner the better, before hard blows are ſtruck, that will leave marks, ibid.
A petulant wife makes that huſband appear unpolite, who with a good-natured wife would have been thought a polite one, iii. 244. [iv. 30].
Shall there be a miſunderſtanding between man and wife, and an huſband court a refuſed hand? ibid.
In a contention between man and wife, there muſt paſs ſome mutual recriminations on their making up, to keep each in countenance on their paſt folly, iii. 245. [iv. 31].
Women are of gentle natures; accuſtomed to be hu⯑moured, oppoſition ſits not eaſy upon them, ibid.
Women indirectly allow of the ſuperiority of men, [335] when they expect them to bear with their perverſeneſſes, iii. 245. [iv. 31].
What then has an huſband to do, but, in pity to his wife, and compliment to himſelf, [if he find her fer⯑vent] to bear with her foibles? iii. 246. [iv. 32].
A prudent man, if he find his wife in the wrong, will endeavour to be in the right; and if ſhe be inclined to diſpute, leave her to recover herſelf; for arguments with a ſtedfaſt woman, will beget arguments, ibid.
Thoſe reconciliations will be the moſt durable, in which the lady makes the advances, ibid.
Married people ſhould not be quick to hear what is ſaid by either, when in ill humour, iii. 248. [iv. 34].
Married people, who openly differ, make byſtanders judges over them, iii. 333. [iv. 116].
Thoſe byſtanders will remember, when the parties are willing to forget, ibid.
And their fame will be the ſport of thoſe beneath them, as well in underſtanding, as degree, ibid.
How many debatings, if not direct quarrels, are ſaved, by the frequent abſence of the good man, from his meek wife! iv. 84. [256].
In what can men and their wives, who are much to⯑gether, employ themſelves, but in proving and defend⯑ing, quarelling and making-up? (Lady G.) ibid.
Eſpecially, if they both marry for love; for then, both honeſt ſouls, having promiſed more happineſs to each other, than they can poſſibly meet with, have no⯑thing to do, but reproach each other, tacitly at leaſt, for their diſappointment, (Lady G.) ibid.
Married people, in their debatings, ſhould not chooſe either mediators or witneſſes, iv. 86. [258].
Married folks, brought up differently, of different hu⯑mours, inclinations, need not ſtudy for occaſions of de⯑bate, iv. 190. [v. 61].
See Femalities.
GOOD wives, mothers, miſtreſſes,, dignify the Ma⯑tronly State, and make it the moſt eſtimable ſtage of fe⯑male life, iv. 200. [v. 71].
[336] When health and a good conſcience accompany the Matronly State of life, there cannot be an happier [...] woman, v. 52. [vi. 30].
See Good Wife.
ALL men, who can be guilty of a premeditated baſe⯑neſs, are mean, i. 290. [ibid].
It is a Meanneſs, as well as Injuſtice, to depreciate a worthy perſon, whoſe favour we are not ſo happy as to obtain, ii. 18. [119].
Little-ſpirited men chooſe to be obliged to [good-na⯑tured] relations, in hopes that they will leſs vigorouſly exact payment than a ſtranger, ii. 131. [232].
The man who habitually degrades himſelf, will be liable to be deſpiſed, perhaps inſulted, by his own me⯑nials, ii. 315. [iii. 59].
Violent ſpirits, when over-awed, are generally tame in their ſubmiſſions, ii. 331. [iii. 75].
When a woman has ſubmitted to take a price for her honour, ſhe muſt, at times, appear deſpicable, even in the eyes of her ſeducer, ii. 332. [iii. 76].
The fawning, cringing ſlaves of perſons in power, are the firſt to inſult them in their diſgrace, ii. 338. [iii. 82].
Cardinal Wolſey, in a train made up of perſons even nobly deſcended, in his fall, found but one Cromwell, ii. 338. [iii. 82].
A ſpirit that will fawn and cringe, will be a tyrant in power, iii. 52. [212].
Ungenerous perſons detected in a Meanneſs, hardly know how to forgive the man to whoſe forgivingneſs they are obliged, iv. 291. [v. 162].
What a narrowneſs muſt there be in the heart of that man, who cannot allow himſelf to look with pleaſure and kindneſs on a worthy heir, becauſe he is his heir, v. 234. [vi. 212].
OFFICIOUS Mediators frequently make light diffe⯑rences heavy, iii. 317. [iv. 103].
[337] Officious Mediations often widen wounds that would heal of themſelves, iv. 175. [v. 46].
An Umpire or Mediator, who wiſhes to reconcile par⯑ties at variance, may, when the point in diſpute is re⯑ferred to him, beſt effect his end, by enquiring of each party ſeparately, what his expectation is; and when he has brought them near, pronounce; having prepared the one to advance the other to concede, as of their own motion, beyond what was to be pronounced by him, vi. 53. [vii. 53].
See Friendſhip. Generoſity. Good Man.
MELANCHOLY. See Grief.
FROM ſixteen to twenty-four, Women are generally aforehand with Men in ripeneſs of underſtanding, i. 259. [ibid].
Tho' after that time, Men may ripen into a ſuperiority, ibid.
The intellects of Women uſually ripen ſooner than thoſe of Men; but Men, when ripened, like trees of ſlow growth, generally hold longer, are capable of higher perfection, and ſerve to nobler purpoſes, ibid.
As Men and Women are brothers and ſiſters, can Womens failings be peculiar to themſelves? i. 266. [ibid].
Muſt it needs be, that a daughter of the ſame father and mother, muſt be more ſilly, more unſteady, more im⯑pertinent, more abſurd, than her brother? ibid.
Women, in general, want not to travel abroad to render them eaſy and polite in converſation, i. 271. [ibid].
Yet this, perhaps, muſt be allowed, that Women who travel, generally return more fantaſtic than Men; and yet few of the latter improve themſelves by going abroad.
To judge comparatively of the genius's of Men and Women, inſtances ſhould be drawn from equal degrees of both, and who have had equal opportunities of im⯑provement, i. 272. [ibid].
Men in their raillery are generally leſs delicate than Women, i. 275. [ibid].
[338] Women can better account for the approbation and diſlikes of Women, than Men can, i. 318. [ii. 3].
Were Men in general lively, chearful, good, there would be but few bad Women, i. 415. [ii. 100].
Woman's weakneſs is man's ſtrength, ii. 83. [184].
Men who inveigh againſt Women indiſcriminately, muſt be ſuppoſed to have kept bad company, ibid.
Men who hope to carry a point with a Woman by paſſion and inſolence, behave quite differently to Men, ii. 180. [281].
Apprehenſiveneſs, the child of prudence, is as cha⯑racteriſtic in a Woman, as courage is in a Man, ii. 183. [284].
Men and Women are ſo much alike, that, put cuſtom and difference of education out of the queſtion, the meaning of the one may be generally gueſſed at by that of the other, in caſes where the heart is concerned, ii. 197. [298].
Men and Women are devils to one another: They need no other tempter, ii. 218. [319].
Womens minds have generally a lighter turn than thoſe of Men [owing perhaps to their finer imaginations: But if ſo, how watchful an eye ought to be kept upon daughters!] ii. 267. [iii. 11].
Were Men in general to value Women for thoſe good qualities only, which are characteriſtic of the ſex, they would never want objects worthy of their love, for com⯑panions, ii. 321. [iii. 65].
Affection between Man and Woman once forfeited, can hardly ever be recovered, ii. 339. [iii. 73].
When two perſons, who have lived in familiarity with each other, differ, the fault is ſeldom wholly on one ſide, ii. 332. [iii. 76].
Women diſlike not that a Man ſhould be decently free with them, but not impertinent, iv. 152. [v. 23]
A Woman may be eloquent in her grief; when a Man, tho' his heart were torn in pieces, muſt hardly be heard to complain, iv. 335. [v. 206].
Greatly, therefore, are the diſtreſſes of a manly heart to be pitied, ibid.
Men and Women can hardly have great troubles but what muſt ariſe from each other, ibid.
[339] It is in the power of either ſex to mend the other, v. 47, 48. [vi. 25, 26].
The ſame Men and Women are not always the ſame, v. 224. [vi. 202].
The Woman who knows herſelf to be wrong, may, one day, mend: But what hopes is there of her, who, however faulty in her conduct, believes herſelf to be right? v. 307. [vi. 285].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Education. Ex⯑ample. Friendſhip. Good Man. Huſband and Wife. Love. Marriage. Magnanimity. Mo⯑deſty. Prudence. Single Women. Wit.
A SOLDIER is the leaſt maſter of his own life, of any man in the community, i. 372. [ii. 57].
The principal officer of a corps in his quarters, how⯑ever ſubordinate and low, is looked upon in the neigh⯑bourhood, as a general, ii. 167. [268].
A Soldier muſt generally be a ſlave to his ſuperiors, a tyrant to thoſe beneath him, ii. 182. [283].
Women are the moſt delicate parts of the creation; conſcious that they ſtand in need of protection, they na⯑turally love brave men, ibid.
The army is, perhaps, more indebted for many a gal⯑lant man, to the gay appearance its officers are ex⯑pected to make, and to the favour of women on that account, than to a true martial ſpirit, ii. 182. [283].
But how can a Soldier's wife expect conſtant pro⯑tection from her huſband, who is leſs his own, and, con⯑ſequently, leſs hers, than almoſt any other man; a Sailor excepted? ibid.
THE general Laugh that is excited by a man's laugh⯑ing at what he ſays himſelf, has uſually more of con⯑tempt than approbation in it, i. 55. [ibid].
Mirth, however inſipid, will occaſion ſmiles, tho' ſometimes at the expence of the mirthful, i. 58. [ibid].
Gloom, ſeverity, moroſeneſs, will be diſguſtful even in a Solomon, ibid.
[340] The man, who laughs at his own abſurdities, leaves us at liberty to ſuppoſe, that his folly is his choice, i. 59. [ibid].
Laughing is almoſt as catching as gaping, when peo⯑ple are diſpoſed to be merry, however ſilly the occaſion, i. 79. [ibid].
Comfort approaches nearer to happineſs, than Joy, iii. 222. [iv. 8].
The Joy of ſenſible people is eaſy, ſerene, deep, full; that of others is mad, loud, tumultuous, noiſy, iv. 48. [220].
In the higheſt of our pleaſures, the ſighing heart will remind us of imperfection, iv. 231. [v. 102].
Abundant reaſon for Joy has the perſon, who has it ſtill in his or her power, to avoid an evil, and chooſe a good, iv. 383. [v. 254].
Immoderate Joy is the parent of many a ſilly word and action, iv. 198. v. 13. [v. 69. 284].
There may be a fulneſs even in laudable Joy, that will mingle diſſatisfaction with it, v. 48. [vi. 26].
Hence may be deduced, ſays Miſs Byron, an argument, that the completion of our happineſs muſt be referred to a more perfect ſtate than this, v. 49. [vi. 27].
To weak ſpirits, ſudden Joy is almoſt as painful at the time, as grief would have been, v. 83. [vi. 61].
There is nothing ſo unwelcome as an unſeaſonable jeſt, v. 83. [vi. 61].
There are loud Laughs, which betray more vexed⯑neſs than mirth, v. 90. [vi. 68].
The Joy that ſeems to be of an eaſy and familiar na⯑ture, is the Joy that is likely to laſt, v. 334. [vi. 312].
Men of ſenſe are moſt capable of joyful ſenſations; and have their balances; ſince it is as certain, that they are moſt ſuſceptible of painful ones, v. 354. [vi. 332].
GOOD hearts are apt to be credulous, i. 25. [ibid].
Men give not themſelves their intellects: No one ſhould be deſpiſed for want of genius, i. 52. 55. [ibid].
What we want to tell, we wiſh our friend to have cu⯑rioſity to enquire about, i. 55. [ibid].
Over-wiſdom is as fooliſh a thing as moderate folly. i. 59. [ibid].
[341] A graceful yielding in debate, is more reputable than a victory obtained by heat and obſtinacy, i. 67. [ibid].
The honeſt poor are a valuable part of the creation, i. 133. [ibid].
Riches never yet of themſelves made any body happy, i. 157. iv. 227. [i. 157. v. 98].
Marriage is too generally thought an amends for every outrage, i. 213. [ibid].
Odious circumſtances may invert the force of the kindeſt words, i. 217. [ibid].
One of the heavieſt evils, to a worthy mind, is to be ſlighted by thoſe whom it loves, i. 275. [ibid].
People long uſed to error, ſubmit not without re⯑luctance to new methods of proceeding, i. 319. [ii. 4].
Goodneſs to goodneſs is a natural attraction, i. 330. [ii. 15].
The man who finds himſelf more feared than beloved, muſt generally have ſomething in his outward behaviour to correct, i. 335. ii. 20. [ii. 283. iii. 27].
True merit will never want admirers, i. 392. [ii. 77].
That, to ſome, will be thought weak and ſilly in write⯑ing or ſpeaking, which, to others, will appear as a beauty, i. 397. [ii. 82].
We are apt to try to recollect circumſtances in another's ſtory, when the caſe is likely to be our own, which at the time, we diſregarded, i. 406. [ii. 91].
Mortification is ſometimes the happieſt thing that can befall a proud man, as it may teach him to think better of others, and not ſo highly of himſelf, i. 411. [ii. 96].
Too much emotion on a ſlight charge, is a kind of tacit confeſſion, ii. 7. [108].
The eye and the ear are too often great miſleaders, ii. 29. [130].
We know not to what inconveniencies a ſmall de⯑parture from principle will lead, ii. 164. [265].
He that will not impoſe on another, will himſelf leaſt bear to be impoſed upon, ii. 172. [273].
The expectation of a favoured perſon's company, di⯑miniſhes the pleaſure, that would be full in the com⯑pany we have, were not he or ſhe expected, ii. 296. [iii. 40].
[342] There are faults that muſt be left to heaven to puniſh, and againſt the conſequences of which, it behoves us only, for our own ſakes, to guard, ii. 364. [iii. 108].
Things out of our power have often a very different appearance to what they had when we believed they were in it, ii. 368. [iii. 112].
Uncalled-for apologies are tacit confeſſions, iii. 16. [172].
Men are too apt to govern themſelves by events, with⯑out looking into cauſes, iii. 205. [365].
Ill uſe of power will take reputation from the op⯑preſſor, and give it to the oppreſſed, iii. 238. [iv. 24].
Perverſe tempers, when properly touched, are ſome⯑times capable of ſudden and generous turns, iii. 250. [iv. 36].
Perſons to whom the world has been kind, generally make a great deal of a little pain, iii. 327. [iv. 113].
Aggreſſors lay themſelves open to ſevere repriſals, iv. 330. [116].
When our hearts are ſet upon a particular ſubject, we are apt to think every other impertinent, and beſide the purpoſe, iii. 344. [iv. 130].
Trifles, inſiſted upon, make frequently the wideſt breaches, iv. 18. [190].
Odd characters are ſometimes needful, to make even ones ſhine, iv. 54. [226].
All human excellence is but comparative, iv. 55. [227].
Many a one may be thought well of in converſation, who, by putting pen to paper expoſe themſelves, iv. 67. [239].
A rooted malevolence, tho', for a time, appeaſed, will occaſionally recur, iv. 127. [299].
On a firſt viſit from one we greatly reſpect, and wiſh to oblige, a kind of uneaſy ſenſation will perplex us, after he or ſhe has left us, as if ſomething was omitted or done, that might weaken us in the perſon's good opi⯑nion, iv. 153. 193. [v. 24. 64].
We pray for long life; and what for, aſks Lady G.? but for leave to out-live our teeth and our friends; to ſtand in the way of our elbowing relations; and to change [343] our ſwan-ſkins for ſkins of buff; which, nevertheleſs, will not keep out either cold or infirmity, iv. 250. [v. 121].
As well the courage as the quality, be it ever ſo high; of the man who can be premeditatedly unjuſt, is to be deſpiſed, iv. 197. [v. 68].
Great princes are not always great men, iv. 221. [v. 92].
Thoſe who can allow themſelves in ſome deviations, may be ſuſpected in others, ibid.
In competitions, we may afford to ſpeak handſomely of the man we neither envy nor fear, iv. 356. [v. 227].
Every one is not called upon, by the occaſion, to act nobly, iv. 364. [v. 235].
It is not always given us to know what is beſt for ourſelves, v. 4. [275].
Tempers, as well as complexions, generally are beſt ſuited by contraries, ibid.
Were we all equally to like the ſame perſon or thing, we ſhould for ever be engaged in broils, ibid.
Early perfection generally induces an early decay, v. 9. [280].
We may be very differently affected by the ſame event, when judged of at diſtance, or near, v. 56. [vi. 34].
A buſy mind ſhould be always employed, in order to keep it out of miſchief, v. 81. [vi. 59].
It is not unuſual for a perſon to ſeek, as his greateſt good, what found, would be his greateſt misfortune, v. 184. [vi. 162].
Diſagreeable qualities cannot always be ſeparated from good ones in the ſame perſon, ſince the one, perhaps, is the conſtitutional occaſion of the other, v. 189. [vi. 167].
Thoſe are the trueſt admirers of fine flowers, who love to ſee them in their borders, and ſeldomeſt pluck the fading fragrance, ibid.
The leſs delicate crop, put them in their boſoms, and in an hour or two, after one parting and careleſs ſmell, throw them away, ibid.
Women love to ſurprize, and to be ſurprized; but it [344] is a love that often draws them into inconveniencies, v. 268. 270. [vi. 246. 248].
Things are generally beſt as they are, v. 315. [vi. 293].
People of condition, when either their curioſity or plea⯑ſure is concerned, like ſometimes to engage with dif⯑ficulties, and to be put to little inconveniencies, for no⯑velty ſake, and that they may have ſomething to talk of, v. 318. [vi. 296].
She that boaſts of her good behaviour on particular occaſions, when ſhe acts but as ſhe ought, reflects upon herſelf, v. 326. [vi. 304].
It is a common thing for a perſon in a coach, to call for the attention of his company in it, to ſomething that paſſes as they ride, and at the ſame time to thruſt his head out of the window, ſo that nobody can ſee but himſelf, v. 346. [vi. 324].
True jeſts are not always the moſt welcome. Tell a woman of forty, that ſhe is ſixty or ſeventy, and ſhe will not be ſo angry as if her true age were nearly gueſſed at: The one nobody will believe; the other every-body, v. 347. [vi. 325].
The man who is officious to excuſe, or palliate an evi⯑dent fault in another, may give a ſuſpicion of his put⯑ing in an indirect claim to an allowance for the like faults of his own, vi. 55. [vii. 55].
When once the mind has been diſordered, there is danger, on extraordinary occaſions, of its ſhewing itſelf capable of extravagance, even after the cure is ſuppoſed to be perfected, vi. 101. [vii. 101].
See General Obſervations.
MISFORTUNE. See Adverſity.
MISTRESSES. See Maſters.
A MAN who deſerves the name of a gentleman, will be careful in his converſation not to offend a chaſte ear, i. 49. [ibid].
Modeſty is eaſily alarmed; the proper anſwer to one [345] who had ſaid, that women, on certain ſubjects, were very quick, i. 50. [ibid].
A woman of virtue would be wanting to her character, if ſhe did not reſent reflexions made in her company that might be conſtrued an inſult on Modeſty, ibid.
A pure heart, whether in man or woman, will, on every occaſion, in every company, be pure, ibid.
Volubility of ſpeech, is generally owing to want of doubt, i. 56. [ibid].
To hear more, and ſpeak leſs, is a rule that deſerves to be remembred, ibid.
Modeſt men muſt have merit, i. 104. [ibid].
Self-diffidence is a quality, from which the worthy of either ſex cannot be wholly free, i. 304. [ibid].
Ought a Modeſt woman, who would not wiſh to look ſilly under the ſtaring, confident eye of a bold man, to chooſe ſuch a one for a huſband? iii. 3. [162].
Modeſty in a man gives an agreeable ſelf-confidence to a woman, iii. 2, 3. 8. [162. 168].
All men, good and bad, admire Modeſty in women: What a reflection on their own ſex, then, do thoſe wo⯑men caſt, who do not admire the ſame grace in a man! iii. 227. [iv. 13].
Meekneſs and Modeſty are characteriſtic qualities in women, of which men are juſtly fond, iii. 307. [iv. 93].
A modeſt man loſes nothing by ſubſcribing to the vi⯑ſible ſuperiority of a worthy friend, iii. 345. [iv. 131].
A young woman's Modeſty will often cover her with confuſion, for what people of ſenſe and candour will conſider as a beauty, v. 4. [275].
Something is due to the faſhion in dreſs; and ſhall not thoſe cuſtoms which have their foundation in Modeſty, and are characteriſtic of the gentler ſex, be intitled to approbation? v. 168. [vi. 146].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Delicacy. Fe⯑male Dignity. Good Man. Goodneſs. Liber⯑tines. Love. Marriage. Single Women.
A PRUDENT Bride, entering into her new family, will make no unneceſſary changes. If ſhe think herſelf hap⯑py, ſhe will let every one who deſerves it, find their happineſs in hers, vi. 27. [vii. 27].
It is a pleaſure to good ſervants to be directed by a miſtreſs, who herſelf knows when ſervices are well per⯑formed, vi. 28. [vii. 28].
To be reſpected by ſervants, it is neceſſary to be able to direct them in their ſeveral offices; and not to be found ignorant in the articles that it behoves a miſtreſs of a family to be acquainted with, ibid.
Happy is the New-married Woman, who finds her huſband's reſpectfulneſs to her increaſed, and her own reverence for him augmented, without abatement of their mutual love, vi. 30. [vii. 30].
Diſcretion and gratitude are the corner-ſtones of the matrimonial fabric, vi. 35. [vii. 35].
What a heart muſt that woman have, which, though ſhe married with indifference to the man, love and gra⯑titude cannot engage! ibid.
A New-married woman of prudence, will acquaint herſelf with the methods obſerved in her huſband's houſe, and will put nobody out of their good way, merely to ſhew her authority, vi. 40, 41. [vii. 40, 41].
Politeneſs mingled with familiarity, becomes a Wedded Love, vi. 132. [vii. 132].
Happy is the woman who marries a good man; ſince ſuch a one will do obliging things for principle's ſake, vi. 135. [vii. 135].
He will pity involuntary failings; he will do juſtice to good intentions; and give importance to all his fellow⯑creatures, knowing that they and he are equally creatures of the Almighty, ibid.
A generous man will not ſubject his wife to the dan⯑ger of her being either a refuſing Vaſhti, or a too⯑meanly mortified Eſther, vi. 177. [vii. 177].
The maternal circumſtance will ſubdue the excentric [347] ſpirit of a Newly-married young woman of too great vivacity, and, if her heart is not bad, make her an ob⯑liging wife: Since ſhe will doubly diſgrace herſelf, if ſhe love the child, and behave improperly to her huſband, vi. 190. [vii. 190].
See Good Man. Huſband and Wife. Matrimonial Bickerings. Maſters, Miſtreſſes, Servants.
NOVELTY. See Faſhion.
FINE ladies, who think ſo ſlightly of the matrimo⯑nial office, as to prefer the chamber to the church, for its performance, ſhould not wonder if fine gentlemen think ſtill more ſlightly of the obligations it lays them under, iii. 314. [iv. 100].
Marriage is one of the moſt important engagements of a woman's life: If the lady mean a compliment to her lover, by a chamber, rather than a church, marriage, let her declare as much; and that ſhe was in a hurry to oblige him, ibid.
A perſon who means to ſhame a free lady into delicacy, may be forgiven for uſing free images, and ſtrong ex⯑preſſions, iii. 314. 326. [iv. 101. 112].
The anniverſary-day of marriage, when doubt of hap⯑pineſs is turned into certainty, muſt be happier to the lady, than the day itſelf, iii. 336. [iv. 122].
A prudent young woman, in her bridal dreſſes, will not wiſh to be fantaſtically equipped, v. 274. [vi. 252].
Humility becomes perſons of degree; ſuch being known to be able to afford rich dreſſes, need them not to give them conſequence in the eyes of the many, ibid.
[Fancy, art, ſtudy, ſhould not be ſeen to have been con⯑ſulted on the occaſion; for ſimplicity only can be ele⯑gance], ibid.
Every thoughtful young creature, as her Nuptial-Day draws near (a change ſo great, and for life) muſt have conflicts in her mind, be her proſpects ever ſo happy, v. 294. [vi. 272].
If ſo, of what materials muſt the hearts of runaways, to men almoſt ſtrangers to them, be compounded?
[348] An obliging woman in courtſhip, parts with power to a generous man, but to take it back with augmentation, v. 298. [vi. 276].
There is ſomething awful to a woman, in the cir⯑cumſtances of her conſenting to a fixed day of marriage, v. 301. [vi. 279].
Let private Weddings, ſays Mr. Selby, be for doubtful happineſs, v. 302. [vi. 280].
Chamber-marriages, ſays the ſams facetious gentleman, are neither decent nor godly, ibid.
When a woman, adds he, is to do any thing ſhe is aſhamed of, ſhe is right (for fear of ſetting an ill example) to be private, ibid.
We women, ſays Lady G. are ſtrange creatures for de⯑laying things that muſt be done, to the laſt moment, v. 315. [vi. 293].
We put our men in a hurry: We hurry our work⯑women, milaners, mantua-makers, friends, allies, con⯑federates, and ourſelves, ibid.
When once we have given the day, night and day, we neither take reſt, nor give it, ibid.
When, had we the rare felicity of knowing our minds ſooner, all might go on fair and ſoftly, ibid.
But then, the gentle paſſion, I doubt, ſays ſhe, would glide into inſipidity, ibid.
Yet all theſe honeſt ſouls, proceeds ſhe, as mantua-makers, attire-women, workwomen, are delighted with a hurry that is occaſioned by a wedding, v. 315, 316. [vi. 293, 294].
And why ſhould not we women, adds ſhe, contrive hurry-ſkurries, and to make the world think our af⯑fairs a conſiderable part of the buſineſs of it, and that nothing can be done without us, v. 316. [vi. 294].
Since, after a few months are over, new novelties take place, and we get into corners, ſigh, groan, look ſilly and meagre, and at laſt are thrown into ſtraw? ibid.
Every woman's heart leaps, ſays Lady G. when a Wedding is deſcribed, and longs to know all how and about it, v. 347. [vi. 325].
A conſiderate young lady, near marriage, will be [349] thoughtful, when ſhe contemplates the following cir⯑cumſtances, however excellent the man may be;
That ſhe is beginning a new courſe of life: That, per⯑ſon and will, ſhe is ſoon to be the property of another: Her name ſunk in that of her huſband: That ſhe is to go to a new houſe: Be ingrafted in a new family: To leave her own, which dearly loves her. An irrevocable de⯑ſtiny; and for life, v. 364. [vi. 342].
From ſuch conſiderations as theſe, Lady G. infers, that young women ought to be indulged in their choice, if not a diſgraceful one, of the man they love, v. 366. [vi. 344].
For the behaviour of a new-married pair to each other, ſee Vol. v. 373. [vi. 351].
OBSTINACY. See Conceit.
WOMEN who ſet themſelves to acquire the knowlege that is proper to men, often neglect for it, that which indiſpenſibly belongs to their own ſex, i. 93. [ibid].
The habit of Early Riſing enables a perſon to do eve⯑ry-thing with eaſe, pleaſure, and without hurry and con⯑fuſion, i. 253. [ibid].
Servants cannot for ſhame, be in bed at a reaſonable hour to be up, when a principal ſets the example of Early Riſing, ibid.
An Early Riſer earns the pleaſures ſhe allows herſelf in innocent recreations, ibid.
Perſons of the higheſt quality ought not to be above valuing themſelves as Oeconomiſts, i. 394. [ii. 79].
A wiſe man will plant, as well as cut down, ii. 129. [230].
Women, ſhort as their power is, are generally better Oeconomiſts than men, ii. 238. [339].
Thoſe who look into their own affairs will avoid the neceſſity of doing or ſuffering many things diſagreeable to a perſon of ſpirit, ii. 314. [iii. 58].
Many men of large eſtates pay intereſt for their own money, ibid.
[350] Good Oeconomiſts, whatever be their fortunes, will make it a rule to conclude the year with diſcharging every demand that can be made upon them, and to com⯑mence the new year with caſh in hand, iii. 227. [iv. 13].
The man will be well ſerved, and greatly reſpected, who ſuffers not a juſt demand to be twice made upon him, iii. 346. [iv. 132].
Early hours and method, and eaſe without hurry, will do every thing in family management, iv. 243. [v. 114].
A prudent man, in the management of his affairs, will ſee with his own eyes, and diſpenſe with his own hands, vi. 6. [vii. 6].
In chooſing men of principle and ſeriouſneſs to deal with, we have their reputation, as well as conſcience for our ſecurity, vi. 42. [vii. 42].
The prudent man attends to the minuteſt, as well as greateſt things, in his Oeconomy, vi. 44. [vii. 44].
A prudent landlord will immediately cauſe neceſſary re⯑pairs to be ſet about, and will do any thing that tends to improve his eſtate; but will not be impoſed upon by craving or unreaſonable tenants, ibid.
A good landlord will ſuffer his tenants to grow into circumſtance under him, ibid.
He will not twice put himſelf in the power of a man who impoſes on him; were it only, that he will not be obliged to act the part of a ſuſpicious man, and be a watchman over people of doubtful honeſty, vi. 45. [vii. 45].
See Generoſity. Good Man. Good Woman. Pru⯑dence.
OLD Bachelors often inſiſt upon qualities in a wife for themſelves or relations, not one of which perhaps the choſen woman, if they marry, will have, i. 36. [ibid].
They often make exceptions for themſelves, till no fa⯑mily thinks it worth while to receive or make propoſals to them, ibid.
Grown ſplenetic, and diſregarded by every-body, their pride is lowered, and they frequently confeſs obligation to a woman, for accepting of them, whoſe betters they formerly deſpiſed, i. 37. [ibid].
[351] Women who have had no lovers, or, having had lovers, have not found a huſband, have, perhaps, as men go, rather had a miſs than a loſs, i. 326. [ii. 11].
Thoſe women who join with the men, in their ridicule of Old Maids, ought not to be forgiven, if the ſingle ſtate, and not the bad qualities of the perſon, is what they mean to expoſe, ibid.
In the abuſive ſenſe of the word, there are Old Maids of twenty, and among widows and wives of all ages and complexions, ibid.
A ſingle woman, tho' either diſappointed, or not ad⯑dreſſed to, has infinitely leſs cares, leſs anxieties to con⯑tend with, than a married one, ii. 146. [247].
Bachelors and Maids, when long ſingle, may be com⯑pared to houſes long empty, which nobody cares to take, ii. 202. [303].
As the houſe in time, by long diſuſe, will be thought, by the vulgar, haunted by evil ſpirits, ſo will the other, by the many, be thought poſſeſſed by no good ones, ibid.
Many an Old Maiden lady, ſays Lady G. has ſubſtan⯑tial notions of ideal love, v. 7. [278].
Thoſe notions, this lively Lady fancies, laſt a long time with thoſe who have not had the opportunity of grati⯑fying the ſilly paſſion, ibid.
Would a woman who ridicules Old Maids, have one think that ſhe is over-joyed that ſhe has put it out of any one's power to reproach her on that account? v. 13. [284].
If ſo, how thankful, on all occaſions, ought ſhe to be to the man who has ſo generouſly kept her from the odium! ibid.
It looks like a want of decency in women, to caſt re⯑flexions on others of their own ſex (for what?) probably for their prundence and virtue, ibid.
Such reflecters conſider not, how much they, by their ludicrous freedoms, exalt the men, and depreciate their own ſex, ibid.
It is no wonder that the men join in the ridicule: It is their intereſt to do ſo; and it augments their conſe⯑quence, ibid.
[352] Many of the foibles for which Old Maids are ridiculed, they would have been guilty of had they been old wives, v. 13. [284].
Wives ſhould not fall into the miſtakes for which they would make Maids the ſubject of their ridicule, ibid.
Women of ſenſe ſhould be above joining to hunt down a claſs of people of their own ſex, whom they deem unfortunate, v. 13, 14. [284, 285].
Multitudes of the ſex owe their ruin to the odium ſo unmeritedly caſt upon Old Maids, by both ſexes.
[Whereas this claſs of females rather merit compaſſion; ſince] a ſingle woman is too generally an undefended, unſupported creature, vi. 202. [vii. 202].
Her early connexions, year by year, drop off: No new ones ariſe, and ſhe remains ſolitary and unheeded in a buſy buſtling world, perhaps ſoured to it by her un⯑connected ſtate, ibid.
But yet if no proper match offer to a ſingle woman, muſt ſhe make an improper one to avoid the ridicule of a mere name? vi. 209. [vii. 209].
An unſupported ſtate is better than an oppreſſed, a miſerable one, vi. 209. [vii. 209].
How many raſhly-choſen huſbands, and repentant wives, juſtify the women who having not had an offer they can with prudence accept of, chooſe to live ſingle? ibid.
May not the woman who makes a raſh choice, be ſaid to throw herſelf out of the protection and defence upon which every one may depend, in the ſtate of life mark⯑ed out to her by providence? vi. 218. [vii. 218].
Unſuitable matches cannot be called a ſupport and de⯑fence, ibid.
The ſingle ſtate may be ſaid to be fitly marked out by providence, to thoſe women who never have it in their power fitly to change it, ibid.
Yet it muſt be owned, ſays Lady Gertrude, that a wo⯑man is moſt likely to find her proper happineſs in the married ſtate, ibid.
But there are ſurely many exceptions, in favour of ſingle women: Women of large and independent for⯑tunes, [353] who have hearts and underſtandings to uſe them as they ought, are often more beneficial to the world, than they would have been, had they beſtowed them on ſuch men, as look for fortune only, vi. 218. [vii. 218].
Nor need women, who have by their numerous rela⯑tions many connexions, ſeek out of their own alliances for protection and defence, vi. 218, 219. [vii. 218, 219].
Ill-health, peculiarity of temper or ſentiments, unhap⯑pineſs of ſituation, of perſon, afford often ſuch reaſons as make it a virtue to refuſe what it would be right in others to accept, vi. 219. [vii. 219].
PAPHIAN LOVE. See Love at firſt Sight.
THE Parents who finds more faults in a Child, than ſhe is guilty of, may make her inattentive to thoſe ſhe ought to correct, i. 87. [ibid].
What honour do good Children eflect back on their Parents! i. 327. [ii. 12].
Wives and mothers who perform their domeſtic duties, are an honour to the age in which they live, ibid.
What have thoſe who do not, to anſwer for to God, to their Children, and even to their Sex, for the contempts they bring upon it, by their uſeleſneſs, and perhaps ex⯑travagance! i. 327, 328. [ii. 12, 13].
There are Parents who cover by the word indulgent, that remiſneſs in the education of their Children, which rather ſhould be attributed to indolence, and a love of their eaſe, than to their own good-nature [and who be⯑come thereby their children's worſt enemies] i. 335. [ii. 20].
A worthy child will always chooſe to walk within its limited bounds, i. 399. [ii. 84].
A dutiful Child will reluctantly mention the failings of its Parents, ii. 28. [129].
Sweet is the remembrance of good Parents departed, to good Children, ibid.
Of what pleaſure do thoſe Parents deprive themſelves, [354] who neglect or think themſelves above attending to the dawnings of their Childrens reaſon? ii. 31. [132].
Worthy Children who have faulty Parents, may im⯑prove by the bad example, as well as by the good, ii. 33, 34. [134, 135].
There is no merit in performing a duty to a good Pa⯑rent, ii. 33. [134].
In reciprocal duties, the remiſneſs of one ſide, is not an acquittal of the other, ii. 33. 61. [134. 162].
The daughters of antient families are uſually too hardly dealt with, in regard to their portions of the family eſtate, ii. 34. 37. [135. 258].
Children who make themſelves judges of the meaſures of their duty, will be in danger of ſacrificing it to their inclinations, ii. 43. [144].
Parents may have reaſon for their conduct, which may not appear to their Children; nor for which they are ac⯑countable to them, ii. 44. [145].
Children very ſeldom owe thanks to the fancies of thoſe mothers, who have given them a rake for their fa⯑ther, ii. 48. [149].
Parents ought to be made acquainted with any addreſs made to their daughters, before liking has taken root in love; and while their advice may have its proper weight with them, ii. 58. 59. 70. [159, 160. 171].
Some Children act as if they thought their Parents had nothing to do, but to ſee them eſtabliſhed in the world, and then quit it, ii. 69. [170].
Thoſe Children who engage their hearts without con⯑ſulting their Parents, would make no ſcruple to marry without aſking queſtions, did they not think it neceſſary firſt, to know what they would do for them, tho' they had left their Parents no option, ii. 70. [171].
Parents, in ſuch caſes, if not paſſive, are accounted tyrants, ibid.
Daughters at marriagable years [whatever ſome of them think] have then more need than ever of the care and advice of Parents, ii. 75. iii. 374. [ii. 176. iv. 160].
Parents ſhould be the judges, if not of their daughters likings, of their own, ii. 77. [178].
[355] Modeſty never forgets duty, ii. 78. [179].
The man who has daughters, ſeldom knows diſcom⯑fort with them, till they look out of their father's houſe for that happineſs, which they ſeldom find, in equal de⯑gree, but in it, ibid.
No provocation from a Parent can juſtify a raſh ſtep in a Child, ii. 87. [188].
The loſs of a good mother, is a call upon the pru⯑dence of a worthy daughter, ibid.
Where duty to a Parent is wanting, all other good qualities are to be ſuſpected, ii. 89. [190].
A father is not accountable to his Child for what he has a right to do, ii. 109. [210].
Parents ſhould take care how they give cauſe to their Children to think meanly either of their juſtice or under⯑ſtanding, ii. 166, 167. 170. 181. [267, 268. 271. 282].
A good Child muſt recollect with pleaſure thoſe in⯑ſtances of duty in which he or ſhe gave joy to a depart⯑ed Parent; and regret thoſe of a contrary nature, ii. 175. [276].
What pleaſures do mothers loſe, who want tenderneſs to their Children! ii. 207. [308].
All fathers are not wrong, who expect a fortune to be brought into their family, in ſome meaſure equal to the benefit the new-comer hopes to receive from it, ii. 240. [341].
Prudent Parents will watch when habits begin to change in their Children; and will be more-eſpecially afraid of young creatures expoſing themſelves when they are between girls and women, ii. 277. [iii. 21].
Children ſhould never be made parties in the miſun⯑derſtandings that may happen between father and mother, ii. 288. [iii. 32].
Children, when they come to be Parents themſelvs, will think, in certain arduous caſes, as their Parents think, ii. 314. [iii. 58].
Who, in his own decline of life, can expect a comfort from his Children, who never adminiſtred any to his own Parents in theirs? ii. 388. [iii. 132].
The Parent who condeſcends to put his or her autho⯑rity into mediation, deſerves the utmoſt obſervance and duty, iii. 52. [212].
[356] Parents are entitled to know the reaſons of their daugh⯑ter's objections to the man they wiſh her to have, and to judge of the force of them, iii. 80. [240].
Parents who have even hopeful Children, are not always happy in them, iii. 96. [256].
She that can wilfully give concern to good Parents, may juſtly make a Lover afraid of her, iii. 137. [297].
It is not every woman who will ſhine in a ſtate of in⯑dependency, iii. 374. [iv. 160].
Avarice in a Parent, and Love in a Child, are almoſt irreſiſtable, when their powers are united to compaſs the ſame end, iv. 118. [290].
What plea can Parents make uſe of to an oppoſing Child, in recommendation of a man they like, but that of filial duty? When the Child can juſtly plead con⯑ſcience in bar, the duty ſhould not be inſiſted upon, iv. 316. 318. [v. 187. 189].
The Almighty every-where, in his word, ſanctifies the reaſonable commands of Parents, iv. 352. [v. 223].
So that it may juſtly be ſaid, that to obey Parents in their lawful commands, is to ſerve God, iv. 352. v. 39. [v. 223. vi. 17].
Childrens faults are not always their own, v. 42. [vi. 20].
Good Parents will be placable: Such as have not given good examples, ought to be ſo, ibid.
Sweet to a gentle temper are the chidings of paternal love, v. 268. [vi. 246].
A firſt wilful raſhneſs in a young lady, is to be ſe⯑verely, yet not unindulgently noticed, leſt it ſhould be a prelude to ſtill more fatal enterprizes, v. 269. [vi. 247].
A good young woman will grieve to be in ſuch a ſitua⯑tion, as to be obliged to inſiſt on conditions with her Parents, vi. 169. [vii. 169].
Oppoſition has its root in importunity, vi. 283. [vii. 283].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Filial Piety. Good Man. Love. Vincibility of Love.
A GOOD man in Parliament will not be under engage⯑ments to any party, vi. 264. [vii. 264].
Nor will he, in ſtanding for a county or borough, con⯑tribute to deſtroy the health and morals of all the coun⯑try-people round him, in order to make himſelf what is called an intereſt, ibid.
Young men are apt to be warm: When they have not ſtudied a point throughly, they will act upon haſty concluſions, and ſometimes ſupport, ſometimes oppoſe, on inſufficient grounds, ibid.
WHEN we are diſpoſed to like a perſon, we make out his or her character to our wiſhes, i. 133. [ibid].
When we are ſtrongly poſſeſſed of a ſubject, we are apt to make every thing we ſee, hear, or read of, that bears the leaſt reſemblance to it, turn into, and ſerve to illuſtrate it, i. 189. [ibid].
How eaſily do we glide into, and how do we love to dwell upon, ſubjects that delight us! i. 273. [ibid].
Characters given by the mouth of declared prejudice, are not to be depended upon, ii. 329. [iii. 73].
ENVY is a ſelf-tormentor, i. 405. [ii. 90].
Pride generally produces mortification, ibid.
Our Paſſions may be made ſubſervient to excellent purpoſes, ii. 181. [282].
Our beſt Paſſions, ſays Charlotte Grandiſon, have their mixtures of ſelf-love, iii. 286. [iv. 72].
Our Paſſions are ever apt to run away with our judg⯑ments, iii. 300. [iv. 86].
Frequently we need but apply to the Paſſions of men, who have not been remarkable for benevolence, to in⯑duce them to do right things in ſome manner, if not always in the moſt graceful, iv. 146. [v. 17].
Pride will often do greater things for women, than reaſon, iv. 367. [v. 238].
A good man will be at continual war with his Paſſions: [358] But without wiſhing to overcome thoſe tender ſuſcepti⯑bilities, which, properly directed, are the glory of hu⯑man nature, iv. 370. [v. 241].
To what purpoſe live we, if not to grow wiſer, and to ſubdue our Paſſions? iv. 383. [v. 254].
There is a pride that may not be improperly encourag⯑ed as a prop, a ſupport, to an imperfect goodneſs, which rightly directed, may in time grow into virtue, iv. 386. [v. 257].
The Paſſions are intended for our ſervants, not our maſters; and we have within us a power of controuling them; which it is the duty and the buſineſs of our lives to exert, vi. 205. [vii. 205].
This will be readily allowed in the caſe of any Paſſion, which the poets and romance-writers have not ſet off with their falſe colourings, ibid.
See Good Man.
PASSION. See Anger.
TRUE Penitence is to be encouraged, leſt the treſ⯑paſſer, made deſperate, ſhould take ſuch courſes, as might be fatal not only to himſelf, but to many innocent perſons, i. 236. [ibid].
The Reformation of a criminal takes from the num⯑ber of the profligate, and increaſes that of the hopeful, and may influence others of his acquaintance, i. 237. [ibid].
Contrition is all the atonement that can be made for a perpetrated evil, i. 315. [ibid].
When a man who has lived freely, can be ſerious on ſerious ſubjects, yet be ſo chearful as to ſhew that his ſeriouſneſs ſits eaſy upon him;
When he can prefer the company and converſation of a worthy man of the cloth, and wiſh to ſtand well in the opinion of ſuch a one; he then gives hopeful ſigns of Reformation, i. 331. [ii. 16].
Repentance is too hard a taſk to be learned on a ſick bed, ii. 95. [196].
[359] Shall not virtue be appeaſed, when the hand of God is acknowleged in the Penitence of the offender? ii. 106. [207].
A generous perſon will make the generous confeſſion of a fault eaſy to the contrite ſelf-accuſer, ii. 169. [270].
An error gracefully acknowleged, is a victory won, ibid.
Reformation is ſooner to be hoped for from a woman who was once good, if not totally abandoned, than from one who never had worthy principles, ii. 316. [iii. 60].
All that is wiſh'd-for in the latter, is, that ſhe may be made unhurtful. The former, when in a ſtate of true Penitence, cannot be eaſy till ſhe is what ſhe once was, ibid.
Reſolutions of Reformation, to be efficacious, muſt generally be built upon a better foundation, than occa⯑ſional diſguſt and diſobligation, ii. 320. [iii. 64].
To little purpoſe does a great man keep a chaplain, if he encourages him not in doing his duty; but the con⯑trary, ibid.
The good man's pity, where he ſees compunction, will be ſtronger than his cenſure, ii. 323. [iii. 67].
The ſpirit of a true penitent, is an humble, a broken, not a rageful or recriminating, one, ii. 332. [iii. 76].
If a finger laid upon a guilty perſon will make her feel, the weight of the whole hand ſhould be ſpared, ii. 334. [iii. 78].
The trueſt, the ſincereſt, Penitence, may atone for, but cannot recall, the guilty paſt, iii. 220. [iv. 6].
Remorſe will ever accompany the reflexions of a man, not wholly abandoned, who can accuſe himſelf of be⯑ing the wilful cauſe of the calamity of a worthy fellow⯑creature, iii. 272. [iv. 58].
Inſtantaneous Reformations are unnatural, iv. 189. [v. 60].
What a wretched creature is a man vice-bitten, and ſenſible of detected folly and obligation! v. 186. [vi. 164].
Very profligate people, when touched with Remorſe, are apt to paſs from one extreme to another, v. 191. [vi. 169].
[360] The deſpondency of a wicked man is blacker than Re⯑morſe: It is Repining, without Repentance, v. 230. [vi. 208].
His Reformation wants reforming who is not able to look back to his former companions in iniquity with pity; who diſtinguiſhes not between the men and their crimes; and thinks he cannot be in earneſt, if he hates not both, v. 232. [vi. 210].
The fears of that man muſt be ſtronger than his hopes, who, on his ſick-bed, has nothing of conſola⯑tion to give himſelf from reflexions on his paſt life, v. 232. [vi. 221].
THERE may be cruelty in Perſuaſion, when the heart rejects the perſon propoſed, whether the urger be either parent or guardian, iii. 280. [iv. 66].
And ſtill more to a ſoft and gentle temper, than to a ſtubborn one, iv. 261. [vi. 239].
Marriage is an awful rite: It can be only a joyful one to the woman who is given to the man ſhe loves, iii. 342. [iv. 128].
What a victim muſt that woman look upon herſelf to be, who is compelled, or even over-perſuaded, to give her hand to a man, who has no ſhare in her heart? ibid.
A parent or guardian, who compels her child to marry againſt inclination, ought to think himſelf chargeable with the unhappy conſequences that may follow from ſuch a cruel compulſion, ibid.
Tyranny and ingratitude from a man beloved, will be more ſupportable to ſome women, than kindneſs from a man they love not [how dreadful to ſuch, therefore, is a Forced Marriage!] iii. 357. [iv. 143].
Perſuaſion ſtrongly urged by parents, is more than compulſion [becauſe it ſeeks to make a young creature acceſſary to her own unhappineſs] v. 109. [vi. 87].
Perſuaſion, as it may be circumſtanced, is compulſion, vi. 76. 99. 104. 119. 143. [vii. 76. 99. 104. 119. 143].
See Guardian. Indulgence. Love. Parents and Children.
PERVERSENESS. See Conceit.
PETULANCE. See Anger.
SPIRIT, piety, tenderneſs of heart, reading, practice, and critical courage, are the requiſites of a good Sur⯑geon, iv. 109. 112. [281. 284].
In lingering caſes, patients or their friends, are often too apt to liſten to new recommendations, iv. 110. [282].
How cruel is punctilio in caſes of difficulty and dan⯑ger, among the medical tribe! ibid.
Phyſical adviſers and operators, are often too com⯑plaiſant to the appetites of their patients, iv. 111, 112. [283, 284].
The mind has great power over the body, iv. 112. [284].
In chronical caſes, Phyſicians go their rounds with their patients. The new one only aſks, what the old one preſcribed, that he may gueſs at ſomething elſe to make trial of, (Lady G.) v. 66. [vi. 44].
When a patient has money, it is difficult for a Phyſi⯑cian to ſay, till the laſt extremity, that the parſon and ſexton may take him, (Lady G.) ibid.
Patients, Lady G. in a ludicrous way, hints, might have a chance for recovery, if Phyſicians gave them over earlier than they generally do, v. 191. [vi. 169].
PIETY. See Religion.
PITY is but one remove from Love, i. 39. vi. 89. [i. 39. vii. 89].
How affecting to a gentle mind are the viſible emo⯑tions of a manly heart! i. 125. [ibid.].
A compaſſionate heart is a bleſſing, tho' a painful one, ii. 63. [164].
We pity others, then moſt cordially, when we want pity ourſelves, ii. 164. [265].
Thoſe moraliſts, as they affect to call themſelves, who ſuffer by ſuch libertine principles as cannot be purſued [362] but by the violation of the firſt laws of morality, are not intitled to our Pity, ii. 328. [iii. 72].
There is more generoſity, more tenderneſs, in the Pity of a woman, than in that of man, iii. 77. [237].
In the Pity of a man for a woman, there is, too pro⯑bably, a mixture of inſult or contempt, ibid.
Unhappy indeed muſt the woman be, who has drawn upon herſelf the helpleſs Pity of the man ſhe loves! ibid.
A pitileſs heart deſerves not Pity, iii. 269. [iv. 55].
God will pity him who pities his fellow-creature, iv. 163. [v. 34].
Where Compaſſion proceeds from tenderneſs of na⯑ture, and not arrogance, it is greatneſs, even in a woman, to accept of it from a man of honour, iv. 343. [v. 214].
It is the glory of the human heart to melt at another's woe, iv. 385. [v. 256].
We cannot be angry at, or alarmed by, the perſon whom we Pity, iv. 392. [v. 263].
Who would not ſo act, as to invite the admiration, ra⯑ther than the Pity of a worthy man? v. 122. [vi. 100].
PLATONIC Love is a dangerous allowance; and, with regard to the other ſex, a very unequal one; ſince while the man has nothing to fear, the woman has every thing, from the privileges that may be claimed in an ac⯑knowleged confidence; eſpecially when alone together, iii. 320. [iv. 106].
An offered and accepted friendſhip between a man and woman, neither of them indelicate, may lead them into great perplexities, tho' both ſhould mean honourably, i. 321. [iv. 107].
If a man forbear to aſk of a young lady, in abſence, thoſe favours, (of correſpondence, for example) which their avowed friendſhip might warrant; or if he aſk, and ſhe decline granting them; in either caſe, and on either ſide, ſomething more than common friendſhip ſeems to be indicated, ibid.
[363] Heaven, for laudable ends, has implanted ſuch a re⯑gard in the ſexes to each other, that both man and wo⯑man, who hope to be innocent, cannot be too circum⯑ſpect in relation to the friendſhips they are ſo ready to contract with each other, iii. 376. [iv. 162].
Platonic Love is generally an inſidious pretenſion, vi. 39. [vii. 39].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Artful Men. Friendſhip.
POETS have neceſſarily heated imaginations, which generally run away with their judgments, ii. 128. [129].
Poets have finer imaginations than other men; but imagination and judgment ſeldom go together, iii. 59. [219].
Poets when provoked, are the waſps and hornets of ſo⯑ciety.
Men and women are cheats to one another: But, ſays Lady G. we may, in a great meaſure, thank the Poetical tribe for the faſcination, v. 310. [vi. 288].
Are they not, proceeds ſhe, in her uſual lively manner, inflamers of the worſt paſſions? ibid.
Would Alexander, madman as he was, have been ſo much a madman, had it not been for Homer? ibid.
Of what violences, murders, depredations, have not the Epic Poets, from all antiquity, been the occaſion, by propagating falſe honour, falſe glory, and falſe religion! ibid.
Thoſe of the amorous claſs, rants ſhe on, ought in all ages (could their talents for tinkling ſound and meaſure have been known) to have been ſtrangled in their cradles, ibid.
Abuſers of talents given them for better purpoſes, and avowedly claiming a right to be licentious, and to over⯑leap the bounds of decency, truth and nature, ibid.
They ſhould have been baniſhed our commonwealth, as well as Plato's, concludes that over-lively Lady, ibid.
PERSONS who are willing to return eſteem for civi⯑lity, [364] often draw themſelves into inconveniencies, i. 120. [ibid].
A man may afford to ſhew Politeneſs to thoſe he is re⯑ſolved to keep at diſtance from his heart, ii. 227. [328].
Polite men, whenever ladies are retired with ladies only, will conſider them as in their own apartment, and will not intrude without leave, iii. 315. [iv. 101].
Of how many falſehoods does what is called Polite⯑neſs, make people who are deemed polite, guilty! iv. 17. [189].
A well-bred perſon will not ſlight the innocent plea⯑ſures in which others delight, iv. 44. [216].
A truly gallant and polite man will find his heart re⯑coil, at the thought of a denial of marriage to a woman of character who expects the offer, iv. 397. [v. 268].
Eaſe with propriety is the foundation of true Elegance, v. 88. [vi. 66].
A polite and generous man will diſtinguiſh and en⯑courage a doubting mind, v. 137. [vi. 115].
A polite perſon will double an obligation, by the grace⯑ful manner of conferring it, v. 183. [vi. 167].
IT is lawful to repeat thoſe things ſpoken in our own Praiſe, which are neceſſary to be known, and cannot otherwiſe be come at, i. 40. [ibid].
It will be eaſily diſcovered whether perſons repeating their own Praiſes, are elated with them, or not, ibid.
The heart hardly deſerves Praiſe, that is not fond of it from the worthy, i. 392. [ii. 77].
We are too apt to give Praiſe or Diſpraiſe to the actions or ſentiments of others, as they ſquare with our own, ii. 224. [325].
It may be concluded, that nothing extraordinary can be ſaid of a man whom his friends praiſe highly for the performance of thoſe common duties, which, if he failed in, he would be juſtly deemed a bad man, ii. 318. [iii. 62].
A worthy mind will wiſh to be thought well of by the worthy, ii. 388. [iii. 132].
Praiſe and Diſpraiſe ſhould be juſtly given, iii. 5. [165].
[365] Whatever men praiſe, they ſhould endeavour to imi⯑tate, iii. 186. [346].
A good man, looking upon himſelf only as the inſtru⯑ment of Providence in the good he diſpenſes, will, with reluctance, receive the over-flowing thanks and Praiſes of grateful hearts, iii. 253. [iv. 39].
Modeſty may look up, and be elated with the Praiſes of a good man, iii. 338. [iv. 124].
We are fond of ſtanding high in the opinion of thoſe we love, tho' we may be conſcious of not deſerving all the Praiſes they may give us, iv. 169. [v. 40].
We may allowably repeat the Praiſes given us by grate⯑ful and benevolent ſpirits, when we cannot otherwiſe ſo well do juſtice to the generous warmth of their friend⯑ſhip, iv. 212. [v. 83].
The Praiſes given to thoſe we really love, are often more grateful to us, than thoſe conferred on ourſelves, iv. 251. v. 276. [v. 122. vi. 254].
The reaſon is, we doubt not perhaps our own merit; but may be afraid, that the favoured object will not be conſidered by others, as we are willing to conſider him: But if he is, we take the Praiſes given him as a com⯑pliment to our own judgment, iv. 251, 252. [v. 122, 123].
A perſon may be praiſed into a good behaviour which he never deſigned to ſhew, when he has an opinion of the Praiſer, v. 4. [275].
Men, Mr. Greville ſays, may take to themſelves, the advantages and good qualities, which every-body attri⯑butes to them, v. 147. [vi. 125].
Praiſe will ſtimulate a worthy mind to deſerve Praiſe, v. 215. [vi. 193].
Sweet is the incenſe of Praiſe from a good man, of his wife, in preſence of her ſurrounding friends, vi. 26. [vii. 26].
See Friendſhip. Good Man. Good Woman. Love.
PROFESSIONS. See Proteſtations.
PROFUSION. See Extravagance.
PROMISES. See Proteſtations.
IN England many young women marry men they would refuſe, if the ſtate of a ſingle woman there were not ſo peculiarly unprovided for and helpleſs, iii. 354. [iv. 140].
Proteſtant Nunneries, under proper regulations, would be a moſt deſirable inſtitution for young women of ſlen⯑der fortunes, and genteel education; and at the ſame time ſeminaries for good wives. See a ſcheme for this, Vol. iii. 354, 355, 356. [iv. 140, 141, 142].
LARGE Proteſtations of love and honour, imply, that the Proteſter thinks them needful, i. 81. [ibid].
And are a tacit implication of ſuperiority, as well in degree, as fortune, ibid.
A woman's credulity is a greater proof of her inno⯑cence, than mens Profeſſions are of their ſincerity, i. 95. [ibid].
Volubility in love-ſpeeches, makes ſincerity queſtion⯑able, i. 113. [ibid].
It would, in ſome caſes, be an affront to herſelf, were a woman to own to a man who pleads honourable views, that ſhe doubts his honour, [even tho' ſhe ſuſpected him] i. 117. [ibid].
The man who teazes a woman to make a Promiſe, as good as tells her, that he intends to hold her to it, let what will happen to make her repent of it, ii. 77. [178].
Women ſhould never be drawn in to fetter themſelves by Promiſes, ii. 173. [274].
To what end is a Promiſe endeavoured to be obtained, if the urger ſuſpect not the fitneſs of his addreſſes; and if he did not either doubt the lady's honour, or feared her returning diſcretion? ibid.
The woman who is induced to make a Promiſe to a Lover, as he is called, makes father, mother, brother, of no conſideration with her, but as they give into his views, ibid.
A young woman, therefore, ought to deſpiſe a man from the moment he ſeeks to engage her to make a Pro⯑miſe, ii. 180. [281].
[367] A man who ſeeks to engage a Promiſe from a Lady, muſt doubt either his own merit, or her ſteadineſs; and, in either caſe, ought not to be complied with, ii. 210, 211. [311, 312].
Where a man is aſſured of a return in love, there is no occaſion for a Promiſe, ii. 211. [312].
Silly men, in love Profeſſions, aim at ſaying to their miſtreſſes all that can be ſaid, becauſe they know not how to ſay things proper to be ſaid, iii. 72. [232].
A worthy man will be known by his actions, rather than by his Profeſſions, iii. 276. [iv. 62].
The Promiſe of a man of honour is followed by ab⯑ſolute certainty, the firſt opportunity, not that offers, but which he can make, iii. 283. [iv. 69].
A worthy man will never recede from his Offers or Promiſes, circumſtances continuing the ſame, iv. 114. [286].
Large Profeſſions are equally a diſgrace to true love, and to the merit of the object, vi. 108. [vii. 108].
See Advice to Women. Compliments. Good Man. Love. Modeſty. Single Women.
FORTUNE, in the choice of a wife, ſhould be the leaſt thing ſtood upon by the man who is in circum⯑ſtances not uneaſy: But Prudence will adviſe, ſays Sir Rowland Meredith, that ſhe ſhould have ſo much as would ſerve to ſhew, that the man was rather captivated by the underſtanding, than by the eye, i. 26. [ibid].
Where a woman is poſſeſſed of a moderate fortune, it will be an earneſt, ſays the Knight, that the family ſhe is of, wants not to lie under obligation to the man who marries her, ibid.
A Prudent perſon will reſolve to amend by the faults found in her; and endeavour to confirm herſelf in the virtues aſcribed to her, i. 40, 41. [ibid].
A young lady who ſpeaks little, and hears what is ſaid by her elders with attention, may be pronounced diſcreet, i. 325. [ii. 10].
The Diſcretion of a perſon is often ſeen in minute⯑neſſes, i. 393. [ii. 78].
[368] The troubles of the Diſcreet proceed from other peo⯑ple; of the Indiſcreet, from themſelves, i. 405. [ii. 90].
A Prudent woman will not give way to an hopeleſs paſſion, ii. 19. [120].
A Prudent and uniform man will be able to create friendſhips, even by a graceful non-compliance with an undue requeſt, ii. 127. [228].
Prudent benefactors will not make the young perſons to whom they wiſh well, independent of their own dili⯑gence, ii. 272. [iii. 16].
Diſcretion is not always the companion of age, ii. 341. [iii. 85].
A Wiſe man will bring his mind to bear inevitable evils, and to make a virtue of neceſſity, ii. 375. [iii. 119].
Can a proud, vain, or arrogant man have any hold in the affections of a prudent woman? iii. 216. [iv. 2].
A Prudent perſon, by remembering paſt miſtakes, will avoid many inconveniencies, into which forgetfulneſs will plunge imprudent ones, iii. 222. [iv. 8].
There is a bright ſide in every event; a Wiſe man will not loſe ſight of it; and there is a dark oue, but he will endeavour only to ſee it with the eye of Prudence, that he may not be involved by it unawares, iii. 380. [iv. 166].
A Wiſe man, if he cannot be as happy as he wiſhes to be, will rejoice in the felicity he can have, ibid.
The trial of proſperity is a much more arduous one, than that of adverſity, iv. 329. [v. 200].
A Prudent man ſees before him at great diſtance. He will have nothing to reproach himſelf with in future, that he can obviate at preſent, iv. 336. [v. 207].
A Prudent and good man will not be above comply⯑ing with the innocent cuſtoms of the world, v. 73, 74. [vi. 51. 52].
A Wiſe man will thankfully enjoy the preſent hour, and leave the future to the All-wiſe diſpoſer of events, v. 138. [vi. 116].
People who are prudent in the advice they give to others [ſuch is the difference between theory and practice] are not always prudent in the management of their own affairs [eſpecially in love-caſes] v. 187. [vi. 165].
[369] A woman of ſuperior mind will not permit the follies of her nurſes, in her infantile ſtate, to be carried into her maturer age, ſo as to depreciate her womanly reaſon, v. 309. [vi. 287].
People, ſays Lady G. may be very happy, if not moſt happy [She mentions inſtances in point] who ſet out with a moderate ſtock of love, and ſupply what they want of the rage of that, with Prudence, v. 354. [vi. 332].
A Prudent perſon will not ſuffer diffidence of the fu⯑ture, to leſſen his preſent enjoyments, vi. 28. [vii. 28].
A Prudent man will be always prepared for, and afore⯑hand with, probable events, vi. 45. [vii. 45].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Good Man. Good Wife.
WISDOM out of its place, is a Prude, i. 417. [ii. 102].
Modeſty, under the name of Prudery, is in danger of becoming ignominious, and of being baniſhed from the behaviour and converſations of all thoſe who frequent public places; iii. 353. [iv. 139].
The word Prudery has two ſenſes. As derived from Prudence, it were to be wiſhed it were reſtored to its primitive ſignification, leſt virtue ſhould ſuffer by the abuſe of it, as religion once did by that of the word Puritan, v. 170. [vi. 148].
Coquets, when the general attention towards them grows languid, will regain it, by often flirting out and in, or not ſtaying ſo long in a place as to tire their com⯑pany, v. 226. [vi. 204].
COULD it have been thought twenty or thirty years ago, that the high mode would require, the gaming⯑maſter to be added for completing the female education? i. 23. [ibid].
If a young woman finds in herſelf a reluctance to go often to Public places, let her not try to overcome it, [370] leſt ſhe turn gadder, and make her home undelightful to her, i. 125. [ibid].
Italians ſay, they ſuffer not often their fineſt voices, and fineſt compoſers, to turn ſtrollers, i. 146. [ibid].
Many perſons of low genius among the gentry, have ſuch a taſte for foreign diverſions, that they think not tolerably of thoſe of their own country, however pre⯑ferable, ibid.
Maſquerades are not creditable places for young la⯑dies to be known to be inſulted at them, i. 99. [ibid].
They are diverſions that fall not in with the genius of the Engliſh commonalty, ibid.
They are ſaid by thoſe who ſpeak moſt favourably of them, to be a diverſion more ſilly than wicked, i. 165. [ibid].
Prudent and good women may, with reaſon, be allow⯑ed to ſay, that their lot is caſt in an age of petit maitres and triflers of men, i. 253. [ibid].
The taſte of the men of the preſent age is dreſs, equi⯑page, and foppery: Muſt a woman, who is addreſſed by a man of inferior talents to her own, hide hers, to keep him in countenance? i. 324. [ii. 9].
A woman cannot pick and chooſe as a man can; what can ſhe do, if her lot be caſt only among ſuch foplings? ibid.
The luxury of the age, and the turn which women take, in undomeſticating themſelves, occaſion an increaſe of bachelors, i. 326. [ii. 11].
Women who are ſolicitous to go to Public places, with a view to engage the attention of men, may give over their ſolicitude, if they ſtrike not at once, and be⯑fore their faces become cheap and familiar, ii. 72. [173].
Men in their hearts deſpiſe for their forwardneſs, thoſe women whom they moſt compliment, ibid.
If women of ſenſe, virtue, honour, give in to the fa⯑ſhionable amuſements of an age of diſſipation, who ſhall make the ſtand of virtue and decorum? ii. 200. [301].
No woman can be a prude at a Maſquerade, ibid.
Repartee and pertneſs are the current wit at that wit⯑leſs place, ibid.
What are other peoples follies to a woman of pru⯑dence? [371] Is ſuch a one to make an appearance that ſhall want the countenance of the vaineſt, if not the ſillieſt, part of the creation? ii. 201. [302].
The aſſumed characters at a Maſquerade, are hardly ever attempted to be kept up [that of the arch-fiend and his infernal miniſters excepted] ibid.
Places of Diverſion [or diſſipation rather, as they ſhould be called] become dreadfully general, ibid.
Young women ſhould be indulged [once or twice in a ſeaſon] at the innocent Public Diverſions, that they may not add expectation (which runs very high in young minds, and is ſeldom anſwered) to the ideal ſcenes, ii. 267. [iii. 11].
By this indulgence a bound is ſet to the imagination, ibid.
What knowlege a young perſon will gain by her intro⯑duction to Public places, if the diverſions engage her attention, ſhe had better be without, ibid.
A wiſe man need not run into grave declamations againſt the times, to prove, that Engliſh men and women, are not what they were in their manners and public be⯑haviour, ii. 269. [iii. 13].
A wretched effeminacy prevails among the men: Mar⯑riage, the bond of civil ſociety, is more and more de⯑ſpiſed; and even women deemed virtuous, diſcourage not by their contempt the free-livers, ii. 271. [iii. 15].
Flippant women love to aſſociate with empty men, becauſe ſuch keep their folly in countenance, iii. 353. [iv. 139].
They are afraid of wiſe men. But wiſe men ſhould not turn fools to pleaſe them, ibid.
They will deſpiſe the wiſe man's folly, more than the weak man's; and with reaſon, becauſe being uncha⯑racteriſtic, it muſt ſit more awkwardly upon him, than the other's can do, ibid.
How ſhould modern fine gentlemen know any thing of delicacy, when the women they aſſociate with, have forgot it? iv. 72. [244].
Women, ſince they have been admitted ſo licentiouſly to ſhare in the Public diverſions, want not courage, iv. 73. [245].
[372] They give men ſtare for ſtare, where-ever they meet them, iv. 73. [245].
The next age, on this account, muſt ſurely be all he⯑roes and heroines, ibid.
Among the Modern fine people, the company, not the entertainment, is the principal part of the raree⯑ſhew, iv. 83. [255].
Pretty enough, ſays Lady G. for us, to make the en⯑tertainment, and pay for it too, to the honeſt fellows, who have nothing to do but to project ſchemes to get us together, ibid.
What, aſks the ſame Lady, are our Modern fine gentle⯑men fit for, but to purvey for news and ſcandal for our ſex? ibid.
What times are we fallen into, that chaſtity in a man will ſubject him to the ridicule of the one ſex, and to the contempt of the other! iii. 174. [v. 45].
Joyful people are not always wiſe ones, iv. 198. [v. 69].
Women, Lady G. ſays, marry not now ſo much for love, as for the liberty of gadding abroad with leſs cen⯑ſure and leſs controul, iv. 255. [v. 126].
Yet the number of ſingle women that croud to Rane⯑lagh and Vaux-hall markets, to be cheapened, will con⯑vince us, ſhe ſays, that maids will be as ſoon above ſhame and controul, as wives, ibid.
But were not the fathers, proceeds ſhe, willing to get the drugs off their hands, thoſe freedoms would not be permitted, ibid.
As for mothers, concludes this free-ſpeaking Lady, many of them are for eſcorting their daughters to Public places, in order to take their ſhare of the Racketing, ibid.
It is the intereſt of gay and deſigning men, to promote this almoſt univerſal diſſipation; yet, tho' women would not croud to market were there not men there, they find, that men worth a wiſh, rather cheapen than purchaſe at places of Public reſort, v. 126. See alſo vol. v. 245. [vi. 223].
We live in an age, in which more good may be done by ſeeming to relax a little, than by ſtrictneſs of beha⯑viour, v. 227, 228. [vi. 205, 206].
[373] Yet thoſe are to be moſt applauded, who from a full perſuaſion of what their duty requires of them, do not relax; and the more, if they have got above moroſeneſs, auſterity, uncharitableneſs, v. 227, 228. [vi. 205, 206].
Women are not ſo ſoon tired of Public diverſions, particularly of dancing, as men, vi. 35. [vii. 35].
Their minds are generally more airy, more volatile, and more ſuſceptible of joy and feſtivity: They ſhould not therefore be too much indulged in them; and the leſs, as a decent and becoming reſerve is an ornament of their ſex, and one of the principal bulworks of virtue.
See Advice or Cautions to Women. Chaſtity. Fa⯑ſhion. Femalities. Polite. Prudery.
PUNCTILIO. See Honour.
RACKETING. See Public Places.
RAILLERY. See Ridicule.
RAKES. See Libertines.
A MAN ſhould not engage his intereſt to ſerve an un⯑worthy and incapable man, ii. 217. [318].
A man ſhould think himſelf accountable for warm Re⯑commendations; eſpecially in caſes wherein the public is concerned, ibid.
A good man, when he engages his intereſt to ſerve a friend, will not be cool in his favour, ibid.
He will think himſelf anſwerable to a worthy man, and to all connected with him, were he a means of lift⯑ing one leſs worthy over his head, ibid.
See Friendſhip. Good Man. Gratitude. Ingenu⯑ouſneſs. Prudence.
THERE are no great hopes of amendment in a per⯑ſon who ſhews uneaſineſs at Reproof or admonition, i. 325. [ii. 10].
[374] We ſhould not remind perſons of faults of which they repent, and wiſh to forget, ii. 366. [iii. 110].
The aim of a good-natured Reprover is to amend, not to wound, ii. 383. [iii. 127].
Indiſcretions repented of, and not repeated, ſhould free a perſon from reproach, iii. 6. [165].
See Penitence.
REFORMATION. See Penitence.
PROTESTANTS who perſecute one another, diſgrace their profeſſion in the eyes of people of different commu⯑nions, iii. 64. [224].
What can this ſhort life give, to warrant the ſacrifice of a man's conſcience? iii. 93. [253].
What pity that Religion and Love, which heighten our reliſh for the things of both worlds, ſhould ever run the human heart into enthuſiaſm, ſuperſtition, or un⯑charitableneſs! iii. 160. [320].
Moderation, properly ſhewn, muſt ever create eſteem, iii. 183. [343].
The man who for fear of being branded for an hypo⯑crite, declines performing his public duties, will incur the charge of cowardice, without being acquitted of the other, iii. 353. [iv. 130].
The proteſtant churches, tho' they allow of the poſ⯑ſibility of ſalvation out of their pale, allow not their members to embrace error againſt conviction, iv. 24. [266].
Over-doers make Religion look unlovely; and put under-doers out of heart, iv. 174. [v. 44].
That devotion which is owing to true Piety, never makes a good perſon ſour, moroſe, or melancholy, iv. 209. [v. 80].
When Piety engages the heart to give up its firſt fer⯑vors to its ſuperior duties, all temporal impulſes will re⯑ceive abatement, and love of the creature, will become but a ſecondary fervor, iv. 287. [v. 158].
A man convinced of the truth of his own Religion, muſt have a generous and great mind, to allow to another [375] of a different perſuaſion, what he expects ſhall be allow⯑ed to himſelf, iv. 298. [v. 169].
A good man will be afraid of preſcribing to tender conſciences, v. 228. [vi. 206].
The man who in Roman catholic countries, would think it hard to be treated as an heretic, cannot, con⯑ſiſtently, flame out againſt his countrymen at home, for ſmaller differences in the articles for which the party himſelf is anſwerable only to the common Father of all men, ibid.
Piety is the beſt ſecurity for good behaviour, in man or woman, vi. 40. [vii. 40].
Pity, ſays Lady Grandiſon, that different nations of the world, tho' of different perſuaſions, do not, more than they do, conſider themſelves as the creatures of one God, the ſovereign of a thouſand worlds, vi. 159, 160. [vii. 159, 160].
A day ſpent in doing good, be the objects of it ever ſo low, is more pleaſing to reflect upon, than a day of the moſt elegant indulgence, vi. 263. [vii. 263].
See Beneficence. Duties Moral and Religious. Ex⯑ample. Generoſity. Good Man. Goodneſs. Magnanimity. The Paſſions. Penitence. Vir⯑tue.
REMORSE. See Penitence.
REPROOF. See Recrimination.
REPUTATION. See Honour.
RESERVE. See Frankneſs of Heart.
YOUNG women who marry old men, when advanced in years themſelves, often take a young man for their ſecond huſband: That ſecond huſband, when manumitted, in his advanced years, marries a young woman: Whence, each having wiſhed to bury the elderly mate, Retribu⯑tion takes its courſe with each, ii. 205. [306].
The violators of the ſocial duties are frequently pu⯑niſhed by the ſucceſs of their own wiſhes, ibid.
It is ſuitable to the Divine Benignity, as well as Juſtice, [376] to lend its ſanctions and puniſhments in aid of thoſe du⯑ties, which bind man to man, ii. 205. [306].
HUMOUR and Raillery are very difficult to be reined⯑in. They are ever curvetting, like a prancing horſe, and will often throw the rider, ii. 274. [iii. 18].
Many a perſon who ſets light on the Ridicule play'd off upon another, would be extremely ſenſible of it in his own caſe, iv. 171. [v. 42].
Some men cannot appear with advantage, as they ſeem to think, without making their friend a butt to ſhoot at, v. 146. [vi. 124].
Humour is a gentle, a decent, tho' a lively talent, vi. 71. [vii. 71].
See Wit.
RIOT. See Ebriety.
FALSE SHAME. See Ebriety.
SCIENCE. See Learning.
SECRETS. See Concealment.
THE Seduction of a young creature from the path of virtue, in which ſhe was ſafely walking till ſhe was overtaken by the Seducer, is a capital and moſt ingrate⯑ful crime, iii. 44. [204].
Who that can glory in the virtue of his own ſiſter, can allow himſelf in attempts upon the ſiſter, the daughter, of another? ibid.
Can that crime be pardonable in a man, which renders a woman infamous? ibid.
A man who can betray and ruin an innocent woman, who loves him, ought to be abhorred by men, as well as by women, iv. 96. [268].
Would he ſcruple to betray and ruin them, were he not afraid either of the law, or of a manly reſent⯑ment? iv. 96. [268].
[377] The pooreſt honeſt girl in Britain, ſeduced by promiſes of marriage, is intitled to the performance of the pro⯑miſe, iv. 197. [v. 68].
See Addreſs to Men of Senſe in the gay World. Liber⯑tines. Proteſtations. Vice.
SELFISHNESS. See Avarice.
WHAT a miſer calls Prudence, an extravagant man calls Avarice: The miſer is even with him, and properly calls that Profuſion, which the other, in ſelf-complaiſance, calls Generoſity, ii. 313. [iii. 57].
Men are loth to think themſelves wrong in thoſe pur⯑ſuits in which they are willing to indulge themſelves, iii. 18. [178].
When the hearts of men are engaged in a hope, they are too apt to think every ſtep they take for promoting it, reaſonable, iv. 14. [186].
Self-love, Lady G. ſays, is generally at the bottom of all we ſay and do, iv. 252. [v. 123].
See Avarice. Ingenuouſneſs.
SELF-PRAISE. See Praiſe.
THE French, at this day, are more fond of Senti⯑ments in their authors writings, than the Engliſh, v. 354. [vi. 332].
Story, in works of imagination, is what the Engliſh hunt after, whether probable or improbable, ibid.
SERVANTS. See Maſters.
SETTLEMENTS. See Marriage-Treaties.
REVERENCE mingled with admiration, i. 80. ii. 306. [i. 80. iii. 50].
Avoiding naming the perſon's name in converſation; ſubſtituting inſtead of it, the words him and he, ſomebody, certain perſon, &c. i. 397. [ii. 82].
[378] Obſerving to the advantage of the object, trifles, that would eſcape common obſervation, i. 397. [ii. 82].
A pleaſure in ſighing, that cannot be deſcribed; yet that it is involuntary, i. 406. [ii. 91].
When a young woman is ready to quarrel with her⯑ſelf, yet knows not why, ibid.
When ſhe has a fretting, gnawing pain in her ſto⯑mach, that ſhe can neither deſcribe nor account for; yet is humble, meek, as if looking out for pity of every-body, and ſhewing a readineſs to pity every-body [eſpe⯑cially thoſe in Love] ibid.
When her attention is eagerly given to Love-ſtories, and to difficulties in them, ibid.
When her humanity is raiſed, and her ſelf-conſequence lowered, ibid.
Reſt broken; ſleep diſturbed; frightful dreams; ro⯑mantic reſveries, ibid.
A kind of impatience, next to petulance, when her retirement is broken in upon of a ſudden; yet employed about nothing of conſequence, i. 414. [ii. 99].
She muſt be indeed in Love, who uſually thinking well of herſelf, can think ſtill more highly of her lover, ii. 68. [169].
Where a woman expreſſes indifference to a change of condition, with an unobjectible man who makes advan⯑tageous offers, ſhe gives cauſe to imagine a prepoſſeſſion in favour of ſome other, ii. 214. iii. 64. [ii. 315. iii. 224].
When a beloved perſon cannot be named or prais'd, but a young creature's eyes will ſparkle, and be taken off either work or book, ii. 276. [iii. 20].
Idleneſs is a great friend of Love, ii. 299. [iii. 43].
She will devour his praiſes with greedineſs; her cheeks will glow, and a ſigh will eſcape her own obſervation on ſuch occaſions, ii. 300. [iii. 44].
A trick of ſighing, which, on being challenged, ſhe is ſollicitous to attribute to any other cauſe than to the true one, ii. 303. [iii. 47].
Owns an Eſteem; but denies a Love, ii. 305. [iii. 49].
A weight at her boſom, that urges ſighing, and which ſeems to be relieved by it, ibid.
[379] Diſordered by ſurprizes; put out of breath by ſudden hurries, as if ſhe had run down an high hill, ii. 306. [iii. 50].
Emotions that can no more be deſcribed, than account⯑ed for, ii. 307. [iii. 51].
Tender ſentiments, ſweetneſs of manners, ſoftneſs of voice, are indications of a mind harmonized by Love, ii. 376. [iii. 120].
Reſpectful modeſty in the looks of a man, in pre⯑ſence of a beloved object; a look of languor; a with⯑drawn eye, when hers is caſt upon him; are ſigns of true Love in a man, iii. 2, 3. [162].
Sudden turns in health or temper, the reaſon for which appears not; a love of ſolitude, ſilence, are ſtrong in⯑dications of Love, iii. 60, 61. [220, 221].
Lady G. ſays, it is one of the trueſt Signs of Love, when men are moſt fond of the women who are leaſt fit for them, and uſe them worſt, iii. 72. [232].
The woman who delights in the praiſes given to a fa⯑voured man, more than in her own, gives undoubted Signs of Love, iii. 223. [iv. 9].
When a young woman finds both pleaſure and pain in ſighing, ſhe ſhould look to her heart, iv. 63. [235].
See Delicacy. Female Dignity. Femalities. Love. Love at firſt Sight. Vincibility of Love.
IT is no impeachment of Sincerity, if a perſon an⯑ſwers not every queſtion put to her, by thoſe to whom ſhe is not accountable, i. 115. [ibid].
The Sincerity of a young woman who pretends to love a man much older than herſelf, is to be ſuſpected, ii. 92. [193].
What a littleneſs is there in the cuſtom that compels us to be Inſincere? ii. 258. [iii. 2].
Perſons who are ſolicitous to be thought plain-dealers, ſhould take care to avoid ruſticity or indecorum, iv. 289. [v. 80].
There may be caſes in which Sincerity can hardly be ſeparated from unpoliteneſs, iv. 356. [v. 227].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Frankneſs of Heart. Good Man.
SWEETNESS of temper illuſtrates plain features, and makes them ſhine, i. 4. [ibid].
From ſixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humour by their hopes, and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured, ibid.
To what evils may a ſole and independent woman be expoſed? i. 84. [ibid].
Many men are to be looked upon as wild beaſts of the deſart; a Single, an independent woman they hunt after as their proper prey, i. 85. [ibid].
Thoſe young women are happieſt, whoſe friends, con⯑ſulting their inclinations, take the trouble of ſettling nuptial preliminaries for them, ibid.
Yet are young women too fond of being their own miſtreſſes, ibid.
The young woman who takes upon herſelf the diſpoſal of her perſon, lays a heavy taſk upon her circumſpection, i. 85. [ibid].
A young woman of delicacy will be ready to think it has the appearance of confidence in her to ſtand out to receive, as a creature uncontroulable, the firſt motions to an addreſs from a man with whom ſhe is but little ac⯑quainted, i. 86. [ibid].
It is much eaſier for a young woman in courtſhip to ſay No, than Yes, ibid.
The young woman who engages to keep her lover's ſecrets from her friends, is brought into a plot againſt herſelf as well as them, i. 121. [ibid].
And is not ſuch a ſtep an indirect confeſſion, that ſhe is doing ſomething wrong and unworthy? ibid.
A good woman ought to have an opinion of the mo⯑rals of the man, on whoſe worthineſs ſhe propoſes to build her hopes of preſent happineſs, and to whoſe guidance entruſt her future, i. 133. [ibid].
To ſay nothing of the conſequence ſhe gives him, and takes from herſelf, by her implicite reliance on him, and him only, in preference to all her natural friends.
It carries with it an air of arrogance for a woman to ſay, ſhe pities a man ſhe will not accept, i. 150. [ibid].
[381] The time from eighteen to twenty-four, is generally the happieſt of a woman's life, i. 151. [ibid].
A woman when ſhe is alone with a man, ſhould not allow in him, even thoſe liberties of ſpeech, geſture, ad⯑dreſs, which in company might not be blameable, i. 153. [ibid].
Daughters often, in a beginning addreſs, declare, that they will not marry without their parents conſent; but they will frequently ſuffer their affections to be engaged, without letting them know a ſyllable of the matter: [and what then is the caſe, but that the child, who would have deemed a parent a tyrant, had he ſought to compel her to break off her engagement, actually hopes to compel him to approve of her ingrateful raſhneſs?] i. 391. [ii. 76].
Young women frequently, in certain caſes, as much dread to find out themſelves, as to be found out by others, i. 399, 400. [ii. 84, 85].
The age of fancy is a dangerous time in a young wo⯑man's life, ii. 27. [128].
How unworthy of encouragement muſt he be, who, for ſelfiſh conſiderations, ſeeks to involve a young woman in difficulties which ſhe never knew in her father's houſe? ii. 50. [151].
Young women who encourage the firſt man that offers, frequently ſacrifice their future preferment to their want of patience, ibid.
Women qualified to adorn the domeſtic life, may, in the preſent age of diſſipation, be eſteemed bleſſings, tho' they ſhould have but ſcanty fortunes, ii. 54. 58. [155. 159].
A young woman ought to be ſure, that the man to whom, as a lover, ſhe gives a preferable place in her affections to her parents, and brothers and ſiſters, ſhould be a man of merit, ii. 65. [166].
Young women ſhould refuſe a libertine man, if not for their own ſakes, for the ſake of their poſterity, ii. 84. [185].
Young women often, in raſh engagements, dread to make thoſe communications which only can be a means to extricate them from them, ii. 174. [275].
It is more ſafe, in a doubtful caſe, to check, than to give way to an inclination, ibid.
[382] Single women ſhould be ſure of their men before they think of embarking with them in the voyage of life, ii. 177, 178, 179. [278, 279, 280].
Inextricable are the intanglements of love, when young women are brought to correſpond with men, ii. 212. [313].
Men have opportunities of knowing the world, which women have not, ibid.
Experience therefore, engaging with inexperience, and perhaps to a great difference in years, the combat muſt be unequal, ibid.
Moſt young women who begin a correſpondence with men, find themſelves miſtaken, if they think they can ſtop when they will, ii. 218. [319].
The Single woman who has but a middling fortune, has more perſons to chooſe out of, and ſtands a better chance for happineſs, than ſhe that has a large one, ii. 268. [iii. 12].
A Single woman, in a love-affair, ought to fear nothing ſo much as to be more in a man's power than in her own, iii. 100. [260].
Thoſe who ſet out for happineſs in wedlock, will be moſt likely to find it, if they live ſingle till the age of fancy is over, iii. 316. [iv. 102].
The longer a woman remains ſingle, the more appre⯑henſive ſhe will be of entering into the ſtate of wedlock, iii. 354. [iv. 140].
At ſeventeen or eighteen, a girl will plunge into it, often without either fear or wit, ibid.
At twenty, ſhe will begin to think, ibid.
At twenty-four, will weigh and diſcriminate, ibid.
At twenty-eight, will be afraid of venturing, ibid.
At thirty, will turn about, and look down the hill ſhe has aſcended, and ſometimes rejoice, ſometimes repent, that ſhe has gained that ſummit, ſola, ibid.
What a happineſs is hers, ſays Miſs Byron, (Vol. i. p. 13). [ibid]. who is able to look down from the elevation of thirty years, her principles fixed, and having no capital folly to reproach herſelf with!
Women are generally in as much danger from the livelineſs of their own imaginations, as from the devices of men, iii. 374. [iv. 160].
[383] The Single life is capable of the nobleſt tenderneſſes, and cannot be a grievance, [except in indigence, or de⯑pendence] iv. 40. [212].
Young women have high delight in communicating their love-progreſſes to a friend who intereſts herſelf in her tender concerns, v. 26. [vi. 74].
Let a good man, ſays the revered Mrs. Shirley, to a ſet of favourite young ladies; let good life; let good man⯑ners, be the principal motives of your choice: In good⯑neſs will you have every ſanction; and your fathers, mothers, relations, friends, every joy in your nuptials, v. 370, 371. [vi. 348, 349].
We women, ſays Lady G. prate and prate of what we can, and of what we can not, of what we ought, and of what we ought not, to do; but none of us Stay-till-we-are-aſked mortals know what we ſhall or can do, till we are tried by the power of determining being put into our hands, vi. 261. [vii. 261].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Compliments. Delicacy. Daughters. Fancy. Female Dignity. Femalities. Girls. Good Man. Libertines. Love. Lover. Love at firſt Sight. Firſt Love. Clandeſtine Marriages. Parents and Children. Pro⯑teſtations. Prudence. Public Places. Seduction. Vincibility of Love.
SPIRIT. See Magnanimity.
A HUSBAND'S mother and his wife had generally better be viſiters than inmates, i. 324. [ii. 79].
One perſon's methods may be different from another's, yet both equally good, and reach the ſame end, ibid.
A prudent mother-in-law will not give a ſon's wife, if ſhe means well, cauſe to think, that in family-manage⯑ment ſhe prefers her own methods to hers, ibid.
She never ſhould give her daughter-in-law advice in family-matters, but when ſhe aſks it, ibid.
And then, ſhould not be angry, if ſhe takes it not, ibid.
People who are anſwerable for their own actions ſhould [384] generally be left to judge for themſelves, i. 394. [ii. 79].
SHALL a human creature periſh, and its fellow-crea⯑ture not be moved? Shall an immortal Being fix its eternal ſtate, by an act dreadful and irreverſible; by a crime that admits not of repentance; and ſhall we not be concerned? How ill is the ſoul that can give way to ſuch an act, prepared to ruſh into eternity? vi. 277. [vii. 277].
See Sir Charles Grandiſon's reflexions on the manner of Laurana's death.
SURGEONS. See Phyſicians.
SUPERIORITY of the two Sexes. See Inferiority.
SUPERSTITION. See Dreams.
SUSCEPTIBILITIES in ſome, will ſhew themſelves in outward acts; in others, they cannot burſt into ſpeech, v. 4. [275].
Where words are reſtrained, the eyes often talk a great deal, ibid.
See Love. Signs of Love.
A STATE of Suſpenſe to a lover, is the moſt cruel of all ſtates, ii. 193. [294].
It is ungenerous to keep an expecting mind in Su⯑ſpenſe, tho' with a view of obliging in the end, ii. 234. [335].
The ſurprize intended to be raiſed on ſuch an occaſion, carries in its appearance an air of inſult, ibid.
Doubtful minds will increaſe their Suſpenſe, by fan⯑ciful circumſtances, ii. 357. [iii. 101].
A woman of honour when ſhe knows her own mind, will not leave a worthy lover in Suſpenſe, iii. 7. [167].
Certainty in what muſt be, however afflicting, is much better than Suſpenſe, iii. 79. [239].
See Artful Men. Love. Lover. Signs of Love. Sincerity.
WE ſhould conform, whenever we innocently can, to the Taſte of the times in which we live, ii. 267. [iii. 11].
Expenſiveneſs is not always the mark of a true Taſte, iii. 74. [234].
A man of Taſte, in buildings and alterations, ſtudies ſituation and convenience, ibid.
He pretends not to level hills, or to force or diſtort nature; but to help it, as he finds it; without permiting art, if he can poſſibly avoid it, to be ſeen in his works, ibid.
He would rather let a ſtranger be pleaſed with what he ſees, as if it were always ſo, than to ſeek to obtain comparative praiſe, by informing him what it was, in its former ſituation, ibid.
And why? Becauſe there is as much praiſe due to a man, who knows how to let a thing remain well, that is well, as to him who makes it ſo, when otherwiſe.
Thoſe who have a Taſte for trifles, if innocent ones, ſhould not be diverted from purſuing it, unleſs there were a likelihood, that they would beſtow their time better, iv. 59. [231].
The beſt any thing, carries with it the appearance of excellence, ibid.
Who can forbear to think ſlightly of a man, who by a Taſte for trifles, undervalues himſelf? iv. 205. [v. 76].
TEARS. See Grief.
How happy is the perſon, who, tempted to do a wrong thing, has it yet in his or her power to reject the Temptation, and to do a right one? ii. 261. [iii. 6].
In a Temptation yielded to with our eyes open, it is mean to accuſe the Tempter, ii. 263. [iii. 7].
Temptation, ſtrengthened by power, is often the cor⯑rupter of a before unſuſpected heart, iv. 150. [v. 21].
HUMAN nature is pretty much the ſame in every country, allowing for different cuſtoms, i. 259. [ibid].
Let men, ſays Miſs Byron, make ever ſuch ſtrong pre⯑tenſions to knowlege, from far-fetched and dear-bought experience; cannot a penetrating ſpirit learn as much of human nature, from an Engliſhman at home, as he could from an Italian, a Frenchman, or a Spaniard, in their reſpective countries? i. 260. [ibid].
Men not bad, may poſſibly, in their Travels, miſtake, and import ſome gay weeds for flowers, i. 274. [ibid].
A prudent and good man, viſiting foreign countries, will not either prevaricate, or deny his religious princi⯑ples; yet, in good manners, will ſhew reſpect to the reli⯑gion of the country he paſſes thro', or reſides in, and vene⯑rate the good men of all communions, iii. 66. [226].
Honour, and the laws of hoſpitality, will be the guides of a young Traveller's conduct, iii. 69. [229].
What can Travellers ſee, but the ruins of the gay, once buſy world, of which they have read? iii. 261. [iv. 47].
At beſt, but ruins of ruins; ſince the imagination, aid⯑ed by reflexion, muſt be left, after all, to make out the greater glories, which the grave-digger time has buried too deep for diſcovery, ibid.
Miſs Byron, in a petulant fit, queſtions, whether taking⯑in every conſideration relating to time, expence, riſques of life, health, morals, Travelling abroad, is ſo uſeful a part of education, as ſome ſeem to think it, iii. 262. [iv. 48].
Confirming her opinion by the little improvement which ſhe ſays, ſix parts out of eight of the Travelled young men return with, ibid.
A prudent youth, by Travelling, learns to prefer his own country: an imprudent one, the contrary, iii. 311. [iv. 97].
Did many of the young men who Travel for improve⯑ment, better anſwer that end than they do, their coun⯑try, and the religion they were educated in, would ſuffer [387] leſs than they do, from the ſcandals they give to both in the eyes of enemies, iv. 212. 300. [v. 83. 172].
A prudent young man, on his Travels, will endeavour to live well with people of all religions; but, when called upon, will not be afraid diſcreetly to avow his own, iv. 309. [v. 180].
Such a one will ſo behave, as to deſerve the protection of the ſtate thro' which he paſſes, iv. 337. [v. 208].
A VAIN man will praiſe a woman for her taſte, and good qualities, and give the proof in the diſtinction ſhe has paid him, vi. 14, 15. [vii. 14, 15].
A man proud of his deſcent, however bankrupt in fortune, will be ready to apologize for himſelf to his acquaintance, for marrying a meaner-deſcended woman, though ſhe has raiſed him in the world by her fortune, vi. 15. [vii. 15].
He will look upon the diſtinction ſhe has paid him, as his due; and that he will ſufficiently reward her, by his civility to her, and her family and friends, ibid.
She who can give Pride to others by her condeſcen⯑ſion, ſhould not condeſcend to be proud; ibid.
What, in a nation the ſtrength and glory of which are trade and commerce, is Gentility, what even Nobi⯑lity, where the deſcendants depart from the virtue of the firſt ennobling anceſtor? vi. 131. [vii. 131].
VICE is a degrader even of high ſpirits, ii. 91. [192].
Wicked men are generally the ſevereſt puniſhers of thoſe Wicked people, who miniſter not to their own par⯑ticular gratifications, ii. 93. [195].
Habitual Wickedneſs debaſes, as habitual goodneſs ex⯑alts, the human mind, and gives an actual ſuperiority and inferiority reſpectively, to perſons naturally of equal parts and abilities, ii. 327. [iii. 71].
Wickedneſs may be always put out of countenance by a perſon who has an eſtabliſhed character for good⯑neſs; [388] and who is not aſhamed of doing his duty in the public eye, v. 145. [vi. 123].
THE woman who would have conquered her paſſion, had the object of it been married, gives a proof that it may be overcome, ii. 90. [191].
Few women marry their firſt Loves, iii. 258. [iv. 44].
Like merits, where perſon is not the principal motive of love, may produce like attachments, ibid.
To love with an ardor that would be dangerous to a perſon's peace of mind, there muſt be more tenderneſs than reverence for the object, iii. 260. [iv. 46].
A woman of delicacy will deprecate being in ſuch a ſituation, as to warrant the compaſſion of the beſt man in the world, iii. 264. [iv. 50].
The paſſion that can admit of raving on a diſappoint⯑ment, is temporary, and ſeldom dangerous, iv. 354. [v. 125].
If the head be ſafe, pride and ſuppoſed ſlight will in time harden the heart, and reſentment, in a woman of ſpirit, will take place of Love, iv. 255. [v. 126].
The unexperienced virgin is to miſtruſt her heart, when ſhe begins to meditate with pleaſure the good qualities of an object, with whom ſhe has frequent opportunities of converſing, iv. 340. [v. 211].
To ſuppoſe that kind of Love, which in its very be⯑ginning is contrary to duty, difficult to be overcome, is to deny ourſelves a title to virtue, as well as diſcretion, vi. 208. [vii. 208].
See Advice and Cautions to Women. Female Dignity. Love. Lover. Firſt Love. Magnanimity. Mo⯑deſty. Prudence. Single Women.
VIRTUE cannot be proved but by trial, ii. 61. iv. 15. [ii. 162. iv. 187].
Virtue may pity and be atoned with the penitence of the lapſed, ii. 123. [224].
The man who loves Virtue for its own ſake, loves it where-ever he finds it, iii. 350. [iv. 136].
[389] Such a man may diſtinguiſh more Virtuous women than one; and there will be tenderneſs in his diſtinction to every one, varying only according to the difference of circumſtance and ſituation, iii. 351. [iv. 137].
It is ſometimes the fault of good people to be too ri⯑gorous in their Virtue, iii. 385. [iv. 171].
It is neceſſary for Virtue to be called forth by trials, in order to be juſtified by its fortitude in them, vi. 31. [vii. 31].
See Duties Moral and Religious. Good Man. Mag⯑nanimity. Prudence. Religion. Temptation.
UNCHASTE. See Chaſtity.
UNHAPPINESS. See Happineſs.
UNIVERSITY. See Learning.
VOWS. See Proteſtations.
WARD. See Guardian.
WEDDED LOVE. See New-married Women.
WEDDING-DAY. See Nuptial Preparations.
WICKEDNESS. See Vice.
THE worthy Widow of a worthy man, will, in mate⯑rial caſes, determine by what ſhe imagines her huſband would have done, or wiſhed her to do, were he living, ii. 22. [123].
The laſt refuge of battered rakes, and the chief hope of younger brothers, lie in the good-nature of Widows; and ſometimes, of forward maids, v. 187. [vi. 165].
Conſiderate women will not deſpiſe a diligent plain man for a firſt huſband, ſince ſuch a one is likely to raiſe a fortune, which, if he be ſo kind as to die in good time, may recommend her to the arms of a gayer ſecond, v. 188. [vi. 166].
When ſuch a worthy couple ſet out in taſte, buſineſs, the good lady's firſt riſe, will probably be deſpiſed, and [390] the grateful couple will lead up a frolic dance on the grave of the honeſt plodder, v. 188. [vi. 166].
Weak reaſons will have great weight with a Widow who is inclined to marry, ibid.
See Fancy. Femalities. Vanity.
IT is a kind of preſumption to be a week without a Will, ii. 115. [216].
Monuments for the dead ſhould rather afford matter of inſtruction to the living, than panegyrics on the departed, [where thoſe panegyrics are not in themſelves inſtructive] ii. 102. [203].
The difference in the expence between a decent and a pompous Funeral, may be made a relief to poor tenants, decayed houſekeepers, &c. ibid.
A worthy ſucceſſor will perform what he knows to have been the intentions, as well as the written injunctions of the deceaſed, ii. 118. [219].
Where a father dies inteſtate, it is glorious for a ſon to make ſuch a Will for him, as it may be preſumed he would, or ought to, have made for himſelf, ii. 133. 135, 136. [234. 236, 237].
The intention of the bequeather, in doubtful caſes, ought always to be conſidered, iv. 148. [v. 19].
WISE MEN. See Prudence.
IT may perhaps be ſome degree of merit, to be able to repeat and apply other men's Wit with ſome tolerable propriety, i. 20. [ibid].
Wit and Wiſdom are different qualities, and are rarely ſeen together, i. 47. [ibid].
Women who deſpiſe their own ſex, are as deſervedly, as generally, laughed at by both, i. 53. [ibid].
Perſons of quick parts frequently, by their improvi⯑dence, lay themſelves under obligation to thoſe of ſlower, whom they have been accuſtomed to deſpiſe, i. 53. [ibid].
A man of underſtanding is greatly to be preferred to a man of Wit, ii. 62. [163].
[391] Sprightly perſons often make it neceſſary for them to aſk two forgiveneſſes inſtead of one, ii. 165. [266].
That ſpecies of Wit, which cannot ſhine without a foil, is not a Wit to be proud of, ii. 381. [iii. 125].
A Witty Woman ſhould not think of marrying a man of inferior underſtanding, if ſhe cannot reſolve to ſhield him, not only againſt her own, but every other perſon's ridicule, ii. 393. [iii. 137].
Such a one ſhould confine her vivacities to time and place, ii. 394. [iii. 138].
The lively woman, who has not the offer of a man of underſtanding ſuperior to her own, ſhould encourage the addreſſes of one who will be likely to allow the ſupe⯑riority of hers, ii. 401. [iii. 145].
A Witty Woman's vivacity may leſs become the wife, than the ſingle woman, iii. 3. [163].
Vivacity ſhould never carry us beyond the bounds of prudence and diſcretion, iii. 7. [167].
Witty people ſeem to think they cannot ſhew their own conſequence, but by putting a fool's coat on the back of a friend, iii. 72. [232].
Sterling Wit requires not a foil to ſet it off, ibid.
It is ſometimes the misfortune of a Witty Woman her⯑ſelf, ſometimes that of her companions, that ſhe cannot help being Witty, iii. 348. [iv. 134].
Witlings ſtudy for their pleaſantries, and hunt for oc⯑caſions to be ſmart, iv. 54. [226].
There can he no firm friendſhip, where there is a rivalry in Wit, ibid.
Mere Wit is a fooliſh thing, iv. 254. [v. 125].
That ought not to be called Wit, in the good ſenſe of the word, that has not juſtice in its ſallies; nor hu⯑mour, that preſerves not decorum, v. 14. [285].
Wicked Wit, ſays Miſs Byron, what a foe art thou to decent chearfulneſs! v. 194. [vi. 172].
See Conceit. Poets. Ridicule. Vanity. Youth.
WHERE this World is inclined to favour, it will over-rate, as much as it will under-rate where it diſ⯑favours, i. 39. [ibid].
[392] In ſuch a World as this, people ſhould not lay them⯑ſelves open to the temptation of acting contrary to their duty, i. 102. [ibid].
The World, thinking itſelf affronted by ſuperior me⯑rit, takes delight to bring it down to its own level, i. 260. [ibid].
This World is a ſtate of trial and mortification [it was intended to be ſo; and not a ſtate of feſtivity and diſſipa⯑tion] i. 279. [ibid].
A wiſe and modeſt man will not deſpiſe the world's opinion. When it will have patience to ſtay till it is maſter of facts, it will be oftener right than wrong, iv. 316. [v. 187].
The World if we can enjoy it with innocent chear⯑fulneſs, and be ſervicable to our fellow-creatures, is not to be deſpiſed even by a philoſopher, iv. 358. [v. 229].
The World will not ſee with our eyes, nor judge as we would have it; and, as it ſometimes ought to judge, iv. 383. [v. 254].
Diſſatisfactions will mingle with our higheſt enjoy⯑ments in this life, v. 86. [vi. 64].
WRATH. See Anger.
YOUTH is the ſeaſon for chearfulneſs, i. 10. [ibid].
It is difficult for Young Perſons of genius to rein-in their imaginations, i. 21. [ibid].
Such are apt rather to ſay all that may be ſaid, on their favourite topics, than what is proper to be ſaid, ibid.
It is a great virtue in good-natured Youth to be able to ſay NO, i. 238. [ibid].
Young Men of character and ability ſhould not be put to difficulties at their entrance into the world. The greateſt expences are then incurred; and in ſcanty be⯑ginnings, ſcanty plans muſt be laid, and purſued, ii. 344. [iii. 88].
A prudent Young Man will propoſe to himſelf a living example of goodneſs, to ſerve him for a kind of ſecond [393] conſcience, and to whoſe judgment he will ſuppoſe him⯑ſelf accountable, iii. 10. [170].
He will particularly avoid the company of gay and light women, however diſtinguiſhed by perſonal beauty or rank, and tho' not known to be diſſolute in their mo⯑rals, ibid.
By avoiding intrigues, or giving offence to ſerious or pious people, a Young man travelling, will intitle him⯑ſelf to the reſpect of every worthy foreigner, as well as native, ibid.
Good-nature is the characteriſtic of Youth, iii. 185. [345].
Young people ſhould conſider, that they may often re⯑joice in the company of one other, when they cannot have that of parents, and friends in years, iv. 248. [v. 119].
A good Young Man, not occaſionally queſtioned in his conduct by a faithful monitor, will be diffident of the ground he ſtands upon, iv. 323. [v. 203].
It is a lovely ſight to ſee blooming Youth fond of declining age, v. 242. [vi. 220].
Thoſe who reſpect age, deſerve to live to be old, and to be reſpected themſelves, v. 349. [vi. 327].
Youth is rather to be pitied than envied by people in years; ſince it is doomed to toil thro' the rugged road of life, which the others have paſſed through, in ſearch of happineſs that is not to be met with; and which, at the higheſt, can only be compounded for, by a contented mind, vi. 11. [vii. 11].
Young people ſet out with falſe notions of happineſs; gay, fairy-land imaginations, vi. 201. [vii. 201].
See Addreſs to Men of Senſe in the gay World. Du⯑ties Moral and Religious. Education. Example. Friendſhip. Generoſity. Good Man. Good⯑neſs. Gratitude. Ingenuouſneſs. Men and Women. Magnanimity. Parents and Children. The Paſſions. Penitence. Politeneſs. Public Places. Self-partiality. Virtue. Vice. Wit. The World.
ZEAL will be Zeal, in perſons of whatever denomi⯑nation, iii. 83. [243].
New converts are generally more ſtedfaſt and zealous in their principles, than others are in thoſe which they imbibe from their anceſtors, iii. 111. [271].
Religious Zeal [when not improperly directed] is a ſtrengthener, a confirmer of the ſocial ſanctions, v. 112. [vi. 90].
But, frequently, religious Zeal is a fiery thing, v. 229. [vi. 207].
A good man, if not over-heated by Zeal, will be a good man, whatever be his religious perſuaſion, ibid.
I Write to your commands ſent me yeſterday.
I have no intention of purſuing further the Hiſtory of Sir CHARLES GRANDISON: And hope, when you conſider the cir⯑cumſtances of the Story, you will be of opinion, that it ends very properly where it does; tho' at the firſt peruſal it may ſeem, to a Lady who honours the piece with her approbation, to conclude a little abruptly; and the rather, as the neceſſary delay in publiſhing the laſt volume, occaſioned by the treatment I met with from Dublin, made perſons imagine that marvellous events, and violent cataſtrophes, were preparing; and but for which treatment the three laſt volumes would have been publiſhed together.
The Story of PAMELA was ſuppoſed to have taken place within thirty years, that of CLARISSA within twenty, of their reſpective publications. In either of thoſe ſpaces of time, there was room to marry and bury half a generation of people.
That of Sir CHARLES GRANDISON is ſuppoſed to be more recent. In his recital of what paſſed between himſelf and Clementina, long before the Story began, and before he had hopes of being allowed by his Father (then living) to return to England, he mentions the rebellion in 1745 and 1746; and that the exult⯑ations made over him in Italy, on the reported ſucceſs of the young Adventurer, obliged him to go to Vienna.
What paſſed between him and Clementina, and her Family, on his return from thence to Bologna, till he quitted Italy, and (on his Father's death) arrived in England, may be ſuppoſed to take up a conſiderable ſpace of time.
He had been about fifteen months in England when the Story begins. That takes up a year and half.
All this may be ſuppoſed to bring it down pretty near to the preſent time.
EMILY, under the direction of ſo prudent a guardian, was not, for example ſake, to be married till ſhe was near twenty.
Lady GRANDISON'S circumſtances and her lying-in, would not [404] permit her to leave England for a voyage to Italy, ſo ſoon as might be hoped for by Clementina and her friends. Sir Charles had a view, I fanſy, to thoſe delicate circumſtances, when he offered to make them judges of the reaſons, ſhould he and his Harriet be unable to attend them within the next year, why they could not.
Do you think Harriet would not be a Nurſe as well as Lady G? It would be a deſirable thing, we may ſuppoſe, to all their Italian friends, as well as ſuitable to the maternal fondneſs, for her to take her child with her: But would ſhe do ſo, till it was at leaſt a year old? There is no doubt but it would be a very fine and forward child: But the heir of Sir Charles Grandiſon muſt not be needleſly, or for a compliment, expoſed to dangers and difficulties. Read again the paſſage by land over mount Cenis; acquaint your⯑ſelf with the Bay of Biſcay, were they to go by ſea.
As to the good JERONYMO, he is happy where he is. Lady G. makes him alive and merry: And have you not an intimation that he is to go to Bath? And do you think that thoſe ſalutary ſprings will not, for the honour of our country, quite eſtabliſh him?
CLEMENTINA, at the year's end, may either marry the Count of BELVEDERE, her malady not returning; or, as Sir Charles has engaged all her friends to promiſe, may, at her own requeſt, be allowed more time. You have ſeen that the COUNT acquieſces entirely with whatever ſhall be her will, in this particular.
Do you think, Madam, I have not been very complaiſant to my Readers to leave to them the deciſion of this important article? I am apt to think, from what I have already heard from ſeveral of them, of no ſmall note, and great good ſenſe, that a conſiderable time will paſs before this point will be agreed upon among them: And ſome of my correſpondents rejoice that Clementina is not married in the book; hoping that ſhe will never marry; while others expreſs their ſatisfaction in the time given her, and doubt not but ſhe will. Some are pleaſed with the Count; others not. Some are of opinion, with Jeronymo, that her compliance with the ſilent wiſhes of her friends, when left entirely to her own will was the only duty wanting to complete her character; ſhe having voluntarily renounced, ſo nobly as ſhe did, the only man whom ſhe preferred to him who was the choice of her parents, and given up her wiſhes to be allowed to take the veil.
Let us take a ſurvey of what is done for the other characters.
No more need be ſaid, than is, of EVERARD GRANDISON; or of Aunt ELEANOR.
Mr. DEANE, you ſee, is provided for, to his own, and every one's content.
So is good Dr. BARTLETT.
The ſkilful LOWTHER alſo.
Sir EDW. BEAUCHAMP and EMILY are in a way to be happy.
[405] Who can be more ſo than Mrs. SHIRLEY? Why, Madam, would you wiſh to have further time taken in, to conclude a life ſo valuable, ſo exemplary?
Sir ROWLAND and Mr. FOWLER are not unhappy. They are going to Caermarthen; and you remember, Sir Rowland ſays, there are fine girls in Caermarthenſhire.
Mr. SELBY goes on at Selby-houſe crowing over his Wife, and his Nieces; and, tho' always defeated by their good-humoured arguments, and ſuperior ſenſe, crowing on, and making all around him pleaſant.
Who can be happier than Mr. and Mrs. REEVES?
LUCY has already her PEER.
I could have given NANCY SELBY to Mr. ORME; but that it is not right to put together two perſons who neither of them have entire health, till they are quite recovered; and that would take up time. He, accompanied by his Siſter, is a ſecond time gone to Liſbon, you know. And ſhe, Emily hints, is not without her Lover.
Miſs ORME is a good girl, and muſt be happy.
As for GREVILLE and FENWICK, who cares for them?
The fate of Sir HARGRAVE, of MERCEDA, of BAGENHALL, is abſolutely, and exemplarily, decided.
JAMES SELBY is as good as provided for: But if he had not, it would not have been much matter.
Lady BETTY WILLIAMS indeed, and her forward Daughter, and Miſs CANTILLON, are deſervedly unhappy; and there are too many of ſuch characters, in every-body's knowlege, to require theirs to be further dwelt upon.
Lady BEAUCHAMP, Lady MANSFIELD and her family, Lord and Lady W. Lord and Lady L. are all happy. Lord G. alſo. And his CHARLOTTE is as good as ſhe can be. Her Lord wiſhes her not better than we leave her.
Sir CHARLES is the happieſt of men. Plans of his beneficence, oeconomy, charity, have been actually laid down.
His LADY is, as ſhe deſerves to be, the happieſt of women.
By what we have ſeen of both, we know how they will behave on every future call or occaſion.
CLEMENTINA, let me add to the notice I have taken of her, is miſtreſs of her own will. By the power Sir Charles, in the articles he drew, ſtipulated for her, we know ſhe will make herſelf happy in acts of beneficence; and, as he has foretold, will ſee every-thing in a chearful light, that before appeared to her in a cloudy one. What will be the reſult?
LAURANA has been puniſhed, in kind, as we may ſay.
Lady SFORZA alſo.
The MARQUIS, the MARCHIONESS, the GENERAL, the BISHOP, in ſhort, the whole Porretta family, are happy to the extent of their wiſhes.
Mrs. BEAUMONT is highly ſo in the general felicity.
So is Father MARESCOTTI.
[406] Should the ſtory, which were it prolonged to do every-thing that ſeems to be expected, would take up more time, though not quantity of matter, than it has already taken up, be continued for the ſake of OLIVIA? Surely, No.
Can it, then, be more happily concluded than it is?
As to what you are pleaſed to hint of the Hero's appearing to ſhine in the parental character, have I not in PAMELA entered into that ſubject pretty largely? And have I not in this hiſtory avoided touching upon the ſame topics that I have treated on in either of the two former?
But you will be apt to ſay, You expected more on theſe ſub⯑jects from Sir Charles's character, than from that of Mr. B. or even of his Pamela.
But (to ſay nothing of his care for the education of his Father's natural children by Mrs. Oldham) ſee we not, from his tenderneſs to Mrs. Reeves's little boy; from his goodneſs to Lady L's ſon; and to Lady G's little girl; from the obſervation of his Lady, that the Brave are always tender and humane; from his general prudence, as well as from his own duty to a blameable Father, whoſe failings he occaſionally deplored with a piety worthy of himſelf; that he would have ſhone in every part of the parental character? [Who ever knew a dutiful Son that made not a good Father?] And where, and at what age of his children, had I entered into ſuch par⯑ticulars, ſhould I have been allowed to ſtop; ſince, as they grew in years, they would have had larger demands on his cares?
I might indeed, in what is done, have introduced a converſa⯑tion in which the Education of Children might have been touched upon, and his opinion given: But the lovers of Story would have found fault with me for it, as they have done with the few inde⯑pendent converſations that appear in the book, however uſeful others have thought them: And beſides, the occaſion muſt have been forced in. Nor would the ſubject have appeared with the requiſite advantage, handled by, or before, ſingle men and women, or even by young married people, who had no opportunities to ſtrengthen their opinions by experience.
Permit me further to obſerve, that the concluſion of a ſingle ſtory is indeed generally ſome great and deciſive event; as a Death, or a Marriage: But in ſcenes of life carried down nearly to the preſent time, and in which a variety of intereſting characters is introduced, all events cannot be decided, unleſs, as in the Hiſtory of Tom Thumb the Great, all the actors are killed in the laſt ſcene; ſince perſons preſumed to be ſtill living, muſt be ſuppoſed liable to the various turns of human affairs.
All that can be expected therefore in ſuch a work, if its ending is propoſed to afford the moſt complete ſcene of felicity of which human life is capable, muſt be to leave the principal characters happy, and the reſt with fair proſpects of being ſo.
I am, however, greatly obliged to you, Madam, for having ſo [407] far intereſted yourſelf in the ſtory, as to write to me upon it; and beg leave to ſubſcribe myſelf
I HAVE received, my dear friend, ſeveral anonymous Letters written on the ſame ſubject with your favour before me of the 19th; finding fault with Sir Charles Grandiſon for his offered compromiſe with the friends of Clementina, in the article of Re⯑ligion; all of them expreſſing, as yours does, a laudable zeal for the intereſts of the Proteſtant cauſe.
One of the gentlemen deſired an anſwer to what he wrote, di⯑recting whither it was to be ſent. I do not think myſelf at liberty to tranſcribe for you his Letter, though an anonymous one, and which would do credit to any writer: But as your Letter and his are in ſubſtance pretty much the ſame, you will allow me to hope for your attention to the extracts I ſhall make from my anſwer to his; and if they are not of ſufficient weight with you to excuſe the Hero in this important article, I ſhall be ready, at your com⯑mand, to re-conſider it.
This gentleman wiſhes, as you do, that I had gone further into the ſubject: That I had expoſed the iniquity of ſuch compromiſes, and ſhewn, that the ſouls of girls ought to be as much regarded as thoſe of boys; and the rather, as ſuch ſtipulations are now made a point in courſe, in the marriage-treaties of perſons of dif⯑ferent religions. He is ſo good as to call for my opinion on the ſubject. Thus I anſwered.
Give me leave, Sir, to ſay, I have ſhewn in the work, when the ſubject required it, that I have the honour to be of your opinion as to this compromiſe. I have, in Vol. iii. Octavo, p. 105, 106. made the Biſhop (Clementina's Brother) thus ſay to Mr. Grandiſon, after a debate between them on the two religions; ‘"You will call to mind, Chevalier, that your church allows of a poſſibility of ſalvation out of its pale—Ours does not."’—‘"My Lord," anſwers the Chevalier, "our church allows not of its members indulging themſelves in capital errors, againſt conviction."’
Mr. Grandiſon was a young man: He pretended not to be di⯑veſted of paſſion. It was neceſſary to let the Porretta family, and the Reader, who it was ſuppoſed, would not be unconcerned in the deſtiny of Clementina, ſee, that he was willing to make ſome ſacrifices, for thoſe the family made, in conſideration of ſo excel⯑lent a creature, who had ſuffered ſo much, and was actually in a [408] ſtate of ſuffering, for her Love of him. What could he do more, he aſks Dr. Bartlett, than to make ſuch an offer? He conſiders it as a very great conceſſion, though he muſt know, that it was, as you, Sir, obſerve, a too uſual one: And he tells her warmeſt re⯑lations, the General in particular, ‘"that he would not have come into ſuch a compromiſe, no, not in favour of a princeſs, in a beginning addreſs."’ And this he ſays in anſwer to the General's queſtion, ‘"What, Chevalier, muſt the poor daughters have done, that they ſhould have been left to perdition?"’ And this put by that haughty man, when he knew that Mr. Grandiſon was of a religion which inſpires its profeſſors with more charity, than does that which allows not ſalvation out of its own pale; and the ſouls of whoſe daughters therefore, in his opinion, could not be endanger'd merely by ſuch an education.
Who that thinks the Porretta family bigotted, muſt not have allowed them to think Mr. Grandiſon ſo, had he not made ſome ſuch ſort of conceſſion as he expected them to make? Nay, the, actually made a much greater than be offered [The SONS of the family]; and beſides, were more apprehenſive of their Daugh⯑ter's change of religion, were the marriage to take place, than hopeful of his.
Some conceſſions are expected to be made in all marriage treaties; and (contrary to what was propoſed in this) greater, fre⯑quently, on the man's than on the woman's part; ſince it is under⯑ſtood, that the wife is more the property of the huſband, than he is hers; and he therefore in marriage makes an acquiſition. Pecuniary ſacrifices could not have affected Mr. Grandiſon: No⯑thing but what touched his principles could. This was a ſevere trial to him. Clementina, at the time, was the only woman he could have loved. He knew not then Miſs Byron: But we have reaſon to believe, from different parts of the ſtory, that he thought himſelf not unhappy, that a marriage, to be entered into on ſuch terms, took not effect; as well as that it was owing to Clementina herſelf, and not to him, that it did not; frequent as ſuch compromiſes are in marriage-treaties between people of different perſuaſions.
That theſe obſervations lie ſcattered, as I may ſay, in different parts of the ſtory, is owing, a good deal, to the manner of writing, (to the moment, as it may be called) as occaſions aroſe in the pro⯑greſs of the ſtory: A manner of writing that has its conveniencies and inconveniencies. The latter, in ſuch caſes as that before us; the former, in giving opportunities to deſcribe the agitations that fill the heart, in the progreſs of a material and intereſting ſubject, the event of which remains undecided.
You will be pleaſed to obſerve, that I had a very nice and dif⯑ficult taſk to manage, to convince nice and delicate Ladies, who, it might be imagined, would ſit in judgment upon the conduct of a man in a Love-caſe (who was preſumed to be nearly perfect, and propoſed as a pattern) that a Lady ſo excellent as Clementina; of [409] ſo high a family and fortune; all her relations adoring her; ſo deeply in love with him; yet ſo delicate in her whole behaviour to him; was not ſlighted by him. What would the Ladies, and the men of gallantry, have ſaid, had he not done all it was poſſible for him to do, to obtain ſo rich a prize?
Allow me to ſay, that if his diſtreſs, in different ſcenes of the ſtory, were duly attended to (attacked as he was on the ſide of his Generoſity, his Compaſſion, his Gratitude, his Love) together with his ſtedfaſtneſs in his own Religion, I preſume, that, in the whole affair between him and Clementina, he would be rather thought a confeſſor for it, than a lukewarm man in it. Be pleaſed to reperuſe what he ſays to Miſs Byron on this ſubject, in the library at Colnebrook, Vol. iii. Octavo, p. 29, 30. Vol. iii. p. 189, 190. Duodecimo.
‘'What muſt be my grief, to be obliged to diſappoint ſuch ex⯑pectations as were raiſed by perſons who had ſo ſincere a value for me! You cannot, madam, imagine my diſtreſs: So little as could be expected to be allowed by them to the principles of a man whom they ſuppoſed to be in an error that would inevitably caſt him into perdition! But when the friendly Brother implored my compliance; when the excellent Mother, in effect, beſought me to have pity on her heart, and on her child's head; and when the tender, the amiable Clementina, putting herſelf out of the queſtion, urged me, for my ſoul's ſake, to embrace the doctrines of her holy mother the church—What, madam—But how I grieve you!'’
‘'[He ſtopt, ſays Miſs Byron—His handkerchief was of uſe to him, as mine was to me—What a diſtreſs was here!]'’
‘'And what, and what, Sir, ſobbing, was the reſult? Could you, could you reſiſt?'’
‘'Satisfied in my own faith! Entirely ſatisfied! Having inſu⯑perable objections to that I was wiſhed to embrace!—A Lover of my native country too—Were not my God and my Country to be the ſacrifice, if I complied? But I laboured, I ſtudied, for a compromiſe. I muſt have been unjuſt to Clementina's merit, and to my own character, had ſhe not been dear to me. And indeed I beheld graces in her then, that I had before reſolved to ſhut my eyes againſt; her Rank next to princely; her Fortune high as her rank; Religion; Country; all ſo many obſtacles that had appeared to me inſuperable, removed by themſelves; and no ap⯑prehenſion left of a breach of the laws of hoſpitality, which had, till now, made me ſtruggle to behold one of the moſt amiable and noble-minded of women with indifference.'’—Then he relates his offer of compromiſe.
And let me add here that noble apoſtrophe of his, when he had been contemplating the perfections of Clementina, the wor⯑thineſs of her family, and their great offers to him—‘"But, O my Religion, and my Country! I cannot, cannot renounce you. [410] What can this world give, what can it promiſe, to warrant ſuch a ſacrifice?"’
Nor are theſe the ſtrongeſt inſtances that he gives of his at⯑tachment to his Religion and Country in the courſe of the work; to ſay nothing of what might be ſuppoſed to paſs between him and the Biſhop, in their debate on the two Religions; in which he convinced the Prelate (who from that time forbore to attack him on that ſubject) that he had a great deal to ſay in behalf of his own.
In an omiſſion in the Sixth Volume, Octavo, which is ſupplied p. 401, 402. Lucy Selby is made thus to expreſs herſelf, with regard to this compromiſe, in order to weaken the danger to Reli⯑gion that might be apprehended from the example—‘"How could Sir Charles, ſo thorough an Engliſhman, have been happy with an Italian wife? His heart indeed is generouſly open and bene⯑volent to people of all countries. He is, in the nobleſt ſenſe, a Citizen of the World: But ſee we not, that his long reſidence abroad has only the more endeared to him the Religion, the Government, the Manners, of England?"—’
‘"How was this noble-minded man, proceeds ſhe, entangled by delicacies of ſituation, by friendſhip, by compaſſion, that he ſhould ever have been likely to be engaged in a family of Ro⯑man Catholics, and lived half of his days out of his beloved country; and the other half to have ſet, as to the world's eye, ſuch an example in it?"’
‘"I know, adds Miſs Selby, he would have made it his ſtudy to prevent any miſchief to his neighbours from the active zeal of his Lady's confeſſor, had a certain compromiſe taken effect. I remember the hint he gave to Father Mareſcottia: But would even that good man have thought himſelf bound to ob⯑ſerve faith with heretics in ſuch a caſe?"’
And in the Concluding Note to the work, I have further en⯑deavoured to obviate the apprehended miſchief, by declining to contend with ſuch of my Readers, whoſe laudable zeal led them to conſider this compromiſe as a fault.
Thus, my dear Friend, you will ſee, that, however uſual it may be for people of different Religions, when they intermarry, to enter into compromiſes of this kind, they are not countenanced by the judgment of Sir Charles Grandiſon; who conſidered, as the greateſt misfortune that could have befallen him, the ſituation he was in; which in a manner compelled him to make ſome con⯑ceſſions, in compaſſion to an excellent woman, who laboured under a diſorder of mind on his account.
After all, if this conceſſion of Sir Charles is to be deemed a blemiſh, it is rather a blemiſh in his conduct than in his character. Very few in his circumſtances would have done better; few ſo well: And what he offered, in ſo peculiar a ſituation, is by no means a precedent to be pleaded in common caſes.
Believe me to be, with equal truth and affection, Sir,